Locked Outa Love: Guest Ki
by BTB
Summary: MulticrossContinuationSI. Can an elete martial artist deal with a normal life? Can a horse trainer deal with the Wild Horse of Nerima? When you walk a mile in another man's shoes, there's no place like home, nothing you won't try, to get back!
1. Guest Ki: Prologue

**Guest Ki**

by BTB

Disclaimer:

**RANMA ½** is the creation of Takehashi Rumiko – all rights belong to her and her authorized distributors, Shonen Sunday Comics, Shogakukan, Kitty TV and Viz Communications.

**OH MY GODDESS** is the creation of Fujishima Kosuke – all right belong to him and his authorized distributors, Afternoon Magazine, Kodansha and Pioneer Entertainment.

**ALL PURPOSE CULTURAL CAT-GIRL NUKU-NUKU** is the creation of Takada Yuzo – all rights belong to him and his authorized distributors, Movie, King Records and Futaba Sha.

The characters are used without the permission of the above. This fanfiction is in no way meant to infringe upon their legal and financial rights nor does the author in any way benefit financially from this endeavor. This work is done in appreciation to the hours of enjoyment the above creations have given me.

**

* * *

**

**Guest Ki: Prologue**

_**Business as Usual**_

Ranma groaned, then sighed as a cool cloth was pressed against his head. So cool… The moisture relieved the pain of burns, cleaning the wounds caused by the Happodarikin which that freak, Happosai, used after he drank the Nannichuan.

So cool...

Ranma jerked upright, awake, alert, heart hammering.

"Akane!" Almost levitating, the martial artist prepared to rush forward, though where to was anyone's guess. A slender hand and a soft voice stopped one fear and raised another.

"She is all right, Ranma. You can see her later."

"Mom?" Turning, Ranma looked up at his — no, _her_ at the moment — mother, who had risen with her as she tried to leave her futon. Panting, she looked down at the ruined tux that now fit so loosely about her. Hanging her head, she fought back tears. So _close_… Grinding her teeth slightly, she raised her eyes to her mother's face and passively awaited the next act in this comedy of errors.

Her mother looked back at her, searching her face, and nodded. "A man among men, despite being the most beautiful girl in the house." Nodoka Saotome's facade cracked and she wept in the dim room, letting herself be comforted by her shorter offspring.

"Awww, Mom." Ranma patted her mother's back, trying to understand what was expected of her. She could feel her mother shaking beneath her hands. "I'll take care of it; you'll see. I always manage somehow." Though how, right now, was beyond her comprehension.

Not long before, Ranma had been preparing for his wedding. The Nanniichuan, Spring of Drowned Man, had been the overt bribe, a 'wedding present', to bring him to accept Akane as his bride. It would have been the final act in a two-year-long comedy of errors that had strengthened his body and skills, but left his own heart, and the hearts of at least four girls, in a state of painful turmoil. Ranma had gone along with the matrimonial plans in the hope that, with him removed as a prize, the remaining three would be amenable to some compromise that would give them all some peace.

That he might have his own personal reasons for the solution was something he didn't admit even to himself.

"I should never have let him take you," Nodoka wailed. "You should never have had to put up with the abuse you've taken from him! As for these… girls!"

Ranma stiffened, alarmed, the tensing of her skin causing the hair at the nape of her neck to twitch. She was truly annoyed by the whole fiasco, but her mom sounded vindictive; and one thing she did not want was her mom in a vengeful mood stalking the streets of Nerima, katana in hand. She had no idea of her mother's actual skill with the weapon, but she certainly wasn't in Shampoo or Ukyo's class of martial artist. Besides, Ranma did not want any of them hurt. This was not good.

"Mom... Mom, I don't want you to do anything to them, understand? The girls are my problem now and I've got ta find some way ta deal with them." The look on her mother's face made her blanch. "MO-om! You keep talkin' about me bein' _manly_, and you're gonna fix things fer me? How manly would that be, if I let ya?" She smiled as her mother's face lightened. Now, if only she could get Tendo-san and her old man to back off, too.

"Of course! I should have thought," Nodoka gushed, loudly. "That would be so perfect, so 'manly'!" She hugged the petite red-haired girl in an ecstasy of joy. "I'm sure you could manage to satisfy a wife and three mistresses." The words seemed to echoe in the guest room…

Ranma's hair rose as she regarded her mother. Then there was a pounding in the hall and the door of the guestroom slammed open. Ranma turned, paling, knowing what she would see.

"Rrrraaannma!" Akane stood there in her unmentionables. It was clear she had heard enough of the conversation to come to her own conclusions. She also felt strongly enough about it to interrupt changing to involve herself in the discussion. "How could you?"

Ranma felt an unnatural calm descend at the sight of her, especially the faint blue aura rising from Akane's skin, the tears glistening in her eyes… The redhead turned to her mother, gave a slight 'we-who-are-about-to-die' smile and said, "Can we pick this discussion up later? I gotta get ta the hospital."

Nodoka Saotome opened her mouth to ask why, then gasped, as her son/daughter seemed to vanish. She quickly became aware of two figures flying around the inside of the room.

"It wasn't my idea, Aka-neee!" A fleeing Ranma, heterodyning like a soprano super-train, rocketed past. Following her with a mallet the size of a war drum, came the almost bride.

"Pervert! (SWISH!) Hentai! (WOOSH!) Four-timer! (BAM!)" Akane's last swing missed Ranma but shook the house as it struck a support beam. Ranma took the opportunity to run screaming from the room, Akane hot on her heels. Nodoka leaned over the balustrade and called after them.

"Ranma, you should be chasing her!"

"Ya ain't helpin'', Mom!"

Nodoka went back inside and sniffed, nostalgically. "My son... If only I had kept you, your life could have been more normal. Still... such a perfect solution!" She sighed contentedly. "I wonder which one will be the first to give me a grandchild?"


	2. Guest Ki: Overbooked

**Guest Ki: Chapter 1**

_**Overbooked**_

'Uhhh!' "ow-ow-Ow-OW!" muttered the pigtailed boy as he regained consciousness. Wearily, he glanced around for his attacker but, as expected, she was long gone. Oh, well. At least he was still in the yard and not in the koi pond. She must not be too angry then. He staggered to his feet and swayed for a moment, taking stock of himself.

Ranma Saotome was, at seventeen, the premier martial artist of his generation. He had faced everything from obnoxious classmates to supernatural beings wanting nothing less than to obliterate him from the face of the earth. He had protected those he cared for from physical and magical attacks of all kinds. None of his opponents ever managed more than a temporary victory over him...

...Except for a certain dark-haired, un-cute tomboy named Akane Tendo.

The Ranma-shaped hole in the ground caught his attention again and he staggered in the direction of the tool shed for a spade, a mattock and a rake. It had been made quite clear that damage to the grounds was his responsibility to rectify. The damage caused by the attack on the dojo and grounds during the wedding had been considerable. Since he refused to press charges against Ukyo, and therefore by association against Shampoo, and the loons, Kodachi and Tatewaki Kuno, he had to make up the difference in repairs until the Tendo household budget allowed otherwise. Akane was not making it any easier.

He groaned. Akane was someone he wanted to get close to, yet constantly pushed away. She didn't do very well either; reacting with rage to situations he had little control over. This afternoon's pummeling had resulted from another attempt by Akane to cook for him. Of course his comments that 'they should film her cooking technique as a scene for a slasher-movie' and 'it's the stuff horror films are made of' had not gone over well, even if he had intended them as a joke. He was only trying to help! How did she ever expect to improve if she wouldn't let people criticize her? So un-cute! Hard to believe that only a week ago, he had nearly been married to her.

They had averaged three poundings a day since his fiancée overheard his mother's, um... over-optimistic solution to the fiancée problem. It could be worse, he supposed; she could try to give Nabiki financial advice. He located the tools and staggered back to the damaged lawn. His rapid healing ability was kicking in as usual, allowing him a quick return to normal movement though at the expense of considerable pain.

A particularly nasty jolt between his eyes made him wonder, though, if a trip to Dr. Nokomi might not be in order after all. The new doctor wasn't a martial artist like Tofu had been, but he was reasonably good as a practitioner of general medicine.

Ranma felt a weird, crawly sensation as if something was squirming around the inside of his head. Yuck!

'_Uuuhhhh! Stupid horse!'_ a voice whispered from the midst of the pain.

Ranma blinked and looked around cautiously. Was someone calling him names? He didn't see anyone. His head swam. He felt a disoriented thrashing coming from somewhere.

'_Oh, jeez! This is bad. I can't see…'_ muttered the voice, louder, now. _'I can't see! No, don't panic! There were other people in the arena. Got to think of Gwen and hang on!'_

"Hello?" Ranma, disturbingly, couldn't locate the source of the voice. He gritted his teeth. Part of his training dealt with utilizing other senses than sight to locate and combat opponents or identify allies. But despite the clarity of the voice, he couldn't figure out where it was coming from.

'_Arrgh! Can't feel anything either!'_ The voice had that tightness that bespoke of shock from physical injury and fear. _'Is anybody there? I can't see. Bob? Did you take Buddy down? Stupid horse…' _

Ranma was becoming alarmed. He was hearing a voice belonging to an injured man. The voice was worried about a horse, about somebody named Buddy and some other people, Gwen and Bob. The names were unfamiliar and sounded gaijin. Despite his own problems , Ranma's own self-respect demanded that he attempt to help. 'A martial artist protects the weak, yadda, yadda…' Besides, there was something decidedly unsettling about the voice. Despite the pain it cost him, he forced himself to leap to the top of the compound wall.

He nearly collapsed as the mysterious voice yelled in pain and Ranma's limbs jerked convulsively and uncontrollably in response! Now, personal fear began to enter into the equation. Somehow, his body was responding to the pain this anonymous voice felt, resulting in what was to Ranma a dangerous and embarrassing loss of personal control.

The normally agile martial artist ended up sprawled across the top of the wall. He cursed, but used the opportunity to scan the street beyond. Reflexively, remembering the voice's first comment, he looked for a horse. He felt a sinking feeling as he observed no equestrian presence in the street.

Several women, however, had been walking by below, laughing about the antics of their children. One had glanced up as Ranma missed his landing on the wall and her shriek of alarm had caused the rest to instinctively scatter at the possibility that he might fall into their midst. She harangued him for frightening them.

"Saotome-kun! Be more careful! Not everyone in Nerima is a martial artist!" She was a younger woman, not much older than Kasumi, her black hair gathered back by a hairband.

"Gomen, Mitsuke-san," he replied, vaguely remembering her name and forcing cheerfulness. "There are times you could fool me! Uhhh, did you hear… anything unusual out here in the street?"

"Aside from you thundering around like an elephant, no," the woman replied, mollified somewhat by Ranma's apology and remembering who she was. "Be more careful, please." Even as Mitsuke admonished Ranma, the voice cursed tersely and to the pig-tailed one's senses loudly. The women moved on teasing Mitsuke-san with being another of the pigtailed boy's fiancées and leaving Ranma certain only as to where the voice was _not_ coming from. They obviously hadn't heard it at all! He sat on the wall and rubbed his head. This was going to be another one of those days, he was certain.

"It figures." It wasn't enough that circumstances tried to maim, kill or dishonor him. Now it seemed he was being set up to compete with Kodachi for a trip to the loony bin for hearing voices that weren't there. He snorted. "Akane'll think I done it on purpose. Uncute tomboy!" He winced as the voice groaned, again.

Tentatively, he tried to communicate with the voice. The first several attempts made no contact, but then, as he strove to reach it, the presence seemed to twist again, somehow becoming more '_here_'. "Ummm, hello? Can you hear me?" he tried. "My name is Ranma Saotome. I'm tryin' to help ya. Can ya hear me, now?"

The voice shut off like a switch for a moment. Then, _'Yes! Thank God!'_ The presence was definitely male_. 'I can't see anything! I must have landed pretty hard. Did someone get the horse? Are you the paramedic? My wife, Gwen, should be home. Could someone call her? I... I... I hate this! How bad am I?'_

"Wadja ya last remember?"

'_I was training Buddy, the new horse. He got antsy and tried to throw me. He's real good at sudden spins and has an incredibly rough buck!' _Ranma felt a weird tickle as he almost saw the images being described. A huge open space, thick carpeted with sawdust and shavings, was shaded by a roof that could have covered the entire Tendo compound. Other people were riding horses nearby. The back of 'his' horse's head, black-maned and twitchy, swayed just before his eyes. _'He must have gotten me off. Damn! I swear that horse knows judo. Look, I don't really feel anything much now. I still can't see anything. Am I… dying?'_

Ranma swallowed. For all he knew, the owner of the voice was already dead and simply misplaced on his way to the soul's next destination or final rest. Jumping down from the wall, he considered where he might find a secluded spot where he could continue the conversation without interruption. He had a feeling this was going to take a while.

"Look, ummm… All I know is that I'm hearing ya inside my head." Ranma resisted the urge to bang himself on the noggin, not a good idea after an Akane-pummeling. "What's yer name?"

'_Barry,'_ the voice said sadly, _'Barry Barlowe. You'll find my ID in my wallet in the locker down in the barn. Let Gwen… Let my wife and son know I loved them.'_

"Cut it out, will ya!" growled Ranma. "I don't know anything, yet. So don't go getting' all mopey on me!"

'_Sorry,'_ muttered the voice, in an offended tone.

"Uhhh, look... Barry? Let me clue ya in. Maybe ya can tell me where ya are and then maybe I can help ya. I can't look in yer wallet, cause you ain't where I am." 'Maybe this is some weird telepathy gig and I can call someone to get help for this guy and it'll be all over,' Ranma thought. 'Yeah; like it'll be that simple.' He continued, "Now, I'm in the Nerima District of Tokyo, Japan."

'_Where?'_

"Nerima..."

'_You said 'Japan'?'_

"Yup!" There was a long, pregnant pause.

'_This better not be a sick joke. Last I checked, I was in southwest Pennsylvania, in the United States.'_ There was a long pause. _'Why can I tell that doesn't that shock you?'_

Ranma snorted. "If ya ran into half the weird stuff I do, havin' a voice pop up inside yer head is almost normal." He glided into the space between the dojo and the Tendo compound's wall heading for the corner of the wall. He probably would not be interrupted there and would have warning of anyone approaching.

'_Sorry to add to the confusion,'_ the voice growled.

"Talking to yourself, Ranma?" drawled a smooth, amused voice. Ranma stopped short, arms windmilling as he nearly tripped over a crouching form. "Little sister's shots must be more effective than you let on." A familiar figure with short brown hair rose from her knees and stood nonchalantly beside a loose board. In her hand was a small packet of tools. As was usual when she was being comfortable, her clothes were scruffy looking yet designed to challenge the viewer, short shorts and an oversized sweater that looked like it was going to fall off half the time.

"Nabiki," groaned Ranma. 'Man, she's the last thing I need right now,' he thought, groaning over the many incidents he had endured in the past. "Not now. Just leave me alone!" Ranma grimaced as Akane's older sister gazed at him speculatively.

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "You were getting tools to fill in that hole in the front yard, but now suddenly you're hiding behind the dojo?" She smirked. "Give Saotome. You won't hide it from me for long." She folded her arms under her breasts and lazily let her right arm swing out from the elbow, palm up, and fingers rubbing acquisitively. "Delay will only cost you."

Ranma groaned. He opened his mouth to protest this extortion and felt a weird, internal wrench. What came out was unexpected.

"It'll be a cold day in hell!" The voice was icy with menace. Ranma suddenly felt strangely dispossessed of his body, shunted aside like a spectator. His vision was strangely off, as if he was looking out of windows instead of his eyes.

"Huh?" Nabiki's cool exterior threatened to desert her. Was Ranma… threatening her?

"I'll make myself clear. I don't think so! Shall I tell you were you can go with that load of crap?" Ranma felt his body begin to go into a ready stance, as if he were facing off against a dangerously powerful opponent, and he couldn't stop it, couldn't even warn Nabiki to get out of the way.

Nabiki blinked and stepped back, throat suddenly dry. If he wasn't getting ready to obliterate her, he was a better actor than she thought. "I-I-I'm sorry, Ranma, I didn't mean … I'll – Ooo! Look at the time! Be seeing you..." Horribly flustered, she turned and fled. Her guilty conscience didn't help either. She wondered if her sister's fiancé had discovered her business dealings with certain matrimonial gatecrashers recently. 'Ranma's been acting weird ever since that stupid wedding fiasco,' she thought as she hurried out of sight. 'Maybe, I made a bigger mistake than I thought, letting the others know...' She sprinted for cover, intending to spend the rest of the day, elsewhere.

Ranma suddenly felt control of his body and vocal cords return to him. "Gyaah!" He patted himself all over. The voice in his head was silent, though he could still feel the presence there. His body shook in reaction to the sudden and unexpected loss of control. To Ranma this was even worse than the Jusenkyo curse he endured for the last two years, as if turning into a girl wasn't bad enough!

'_What!' the voice squawked, 'You turn into a what?'_

'Wadja do?' demanded an angry martial artist of the voice within, ignoring its inquiry. He felt his 'guest' shift in some indefinable way.

'_What did I do? That was weird!'_

"Yer tellin' me?" Ranma snarled. He subsided, and tried again sub-vocally. 'Ya took over my body. What are you, dammit!'

'_I'm a dressage… ah, horse trainer. I thought I was eating dirt after being thrown by a young horse I'm working with named Buddy.'_ Images, clearer now, flashed like ghosts across Ranma's eyes. _'Obviously there is more to the situation than I thought. That girl… Nabiki? I could see and hear her — somehow I… you… remembered her and how she spies on me… umm, you… I mean… us? And extorts-!' _

'Me, dammit! _Me_!' Ranma furiously cut the voice off with a bellowed thought. Apparently thinking hard worked as well as speaking so far as his 'guest' was concerned. 'You don't have anything to do with it. Just _me_!' He paused. 'And don't dothat again!'

'_I'll try not to,' _came the reply, sounding contrite. _'I just don't know what happened. I mean all I could feel was a sense of threat and anger. You were thinking so hard I could almost see her and I moved in some way... Then suddenly, it was like someone turned on the TV, except more so. Heck, I could even smell the perfume she was wearing and…'_ Ranma again felt that internal shifting. _'...I got ticked off about the way she was acting. I'm sorry if this messed things up for you.'_

'Ah, man! Nabs is notthat kind of threat.'

'_What kind of threat? What are you talking about?'_

'It felt like you were going to kill her."

'_Kill? Not me! I don't think I've ever hit a girl. I might if I had to, but I wouldn't like it.'_

'Don't _ever_ do that again!'

'_Hey, hey! You're in control now.' _

"Good!"

'_Man, if I wasn't so damn worried about my wife and what's happened...' _Ranma could almost feel 'Barry' or whatever his name was, shaking his head in worry. Again the internal shifting occurred. _'Sorry. You didn't ask for this. You said you're name is Ranma Saotome?'_

'I'm heir to the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts.'

There was a period of silence. _'Why do I feel there is an awful lot of baggage with that declaration?'_

"What?" Ranma exclaimed, outraged. 'I'm the _best_!' he added, intensely. He immediately sensed the 'Oh, really?' even if it was not 'voiced'. "Dammit," Ranma muttered. 'Just stay outa the way. You have no idea just how complicated life gets when you rock the boat this way.'

'_C'mon, kid, how bad can it be?'_

"You would hafta say somethin' like that. And don't call me, kid."

Ranma sensed movement at the corner of the dojo around which Nabiki had vanished. A petite girl with short dark hair stomped down the aisle formed by boundary wall and dojo. Behind her trotted a little black piglet with an odd yellow and black bandanna about its neck.

'_Whoa! Seriously cute but seriously pissed!'_ came the unwelcome voice of the visitor. _'Your fiancée, Akane. Huh? One of your fiancées!'_ Ranma cursed as he unconsciously imaged the other girls and the resultant problems in his life at the query. _'She regularly gets kidnapped by supernatural beings and you have to rescue her, often while dragging at least one of the other three along, as well as half the guys who are out for your blood?'_ Ranma groaned and covered his face with his hand. _'Sheesh, maybe she has a reason to be pissed!' _Barry concluded.

'I don't need this, man.'

"_Ran-ma_!" the girl snarled at him/them. "How dare you threaten my sister?"

Ranma winced. 'Oh, shit!' Suddenly he felt a pain in his ankle. A glance down showed the pig doing his best to turn his leg into raw meat from ankle to shinbone. A glance back at Akane saw the beginning of a slap designed to take him across the left cheek and probably send him into the wall or over the roof. To Ranma's horror, he felt his 'visitor' take over as his body went into 'full-threat' mode.

'Don't hurt her. _Don't hurt her_. DON'T HURT HER!' he screamed silently, as muscles tensed in a move that would turn her slap into an incredibly painful and punishing mistake.

Ranma's body went from a block, counter and throw to an evasion, ducking under Akane's hand. The momentum of the move took them down to where a strong right hand shot out to take the pig by the scruff of the neck. Rising, the free left hand reached out and caught the girl by her balancing arm's wrist and twisted it into a submission hold.

The pig was tossed into the air. As it tumbled, he caught her right hand as it swung wildly back and transferred it into his left, where both of girl's wrists were now trapped. Akane found herself nearly helpless, with a pair of blue eyes boring into hers and lips only inches from her own. Ranma's right hand retrieved the squealing pig from mid-air and held him safely by the bandanna at arm's length.

Akane looked up at Ranma with eyes like saucers. She was too startled at missing her slap and Ranma's sudden control to give even a token resistance. P-chan froze at the tableau of Ranma who appeared to be only inches away from an almost Sanzenin-style kiss.

Ranma's visitor, Barry, was shocked, not only at the reflexes at his command, but at how close he had come to using them to injure the girl before him. The openings in the girl's balance and stance had created responses in this body, analyzing for optimum response to the 'attack'. No martial artist, he had barely channeled the ebb and flow of preconditioned reflex into an alternative response. If she had not so openly telegraphed her intent, he might not have been in time.

Distantly, he could feel Ranma rage against the wall that had risen up to push him aside. The turmoil was very clear. Barry looked, using Ranma's eyes, into the eyes of this girl who was nearly young enough to be his own daughter.

From his twenty years greater experience with dating and marriage, he saw that this girl's anger was, to a great extent, a response to her lack of security about Ranma. Looking into her eyes and feeling how her body unconsciously matched itself to the boy's, he was certain how she felt. Barry didn't know why he was here or even whether it was only some dream or hallucination before death. What he did know was that this boy, whose body he seemed to be cohabiting, was doing everything in his power to protect the lithe girl he/they held. It wasn't his place to make their decisions for them or interfere.

Advice might be another matter.

So, after a space of about three breaths, he released the girl and, backing away, dropped the pig into her arms. Due to his own background with animals as well as the dual ability of himself and Ranma to endure pain, the pig had never been in danger in response to its attack. Dealing with animals had long made him aware that they often respond to emotion and this girl had been broadcasting emotion everywhere. He wouldn't punish an animal for someone else's mistake.

From ten feet away he faced a shocked and blushing Akane and nodded his head in apology. "I'm sorry, Akane. I'm... not myself today." He backed further away, watching for signs of aggression in this explosive little girl. "I'll be in the..."

'Dojo'

"...dojo if you need me. I need to think some things out." Seeing no further response, he spun about and Ranma took over control to stalk away around the corner of the dojo and out of her line of sight.

'Watcha think yer doin'?' Ranma savagely demanded as he slid aside the shoji and moved into the shadows of a corner of the training hall.

'_The best I could in a bad situation,'_ came the reply. _'Do you want her to hit you? Or worse, do you want me to hit her? I'm not exactly in control here either. I always thought those TV shows, where the martial arts guy had to be woken up with a ten-foot pole, were a fantasy. I never believed a body could actually react this way.' _

'Wadja think ya learn kata for?' Ranma gaped in astonishment. 'You have no idea what kataare?'

'_How could I, I've never done any!'_ came the shocking reply. Barry recalled some of the tumbled thoughts that had erupted from his host during the incident and added, 'Why do you think she might have a thing for the pig? I mean, that's really sick…'

"That's _not_ what I meant!" bellowed a shocked Ranma. As his voice echoed off the rafters, he noticed Akane had edged aside the shoji to peek in at him. Ranma scowled partly in shock, partly in embarrassed anger, and Akane jerked back out of sight. He followed her progress, by sound across the yard to the house and distantly heard her door slam shut. 'Jeez! I made her cry again!' Then, to his visitor, "Thanks, you pervert!"

'_Am not!'_

'What were you think—!'

'_Hey! What am I supposed to think, when all I get is your anger at her sleeping with her pet pig...'_ There was a long pause. _'That pig is a guy?'_ Astonishment. _'Wait a minute. You mentioned something earlier, something about you changing into a… girl? You've got to be kidding! How?'_

"Jusenkyo..."

_Barry was astonished at the clear image of the pools with thick bamboo poles jutting above the mirrored waters. To one side, a Chinese man bobbed and spoke in broken sentences about the 'cursed springs'. Then his viewpoint shifted as Ranma leapt to the top of one of the poles. Across from him was his father in an off-white _gi_. Challenges were made and aerial combat began with the guide yelling something at them._

_Then Ranma's father, Genma, was sent flying into one of the pools. What emerged seconds later was an immense panda, which vaulted to the top of one of the poles and set itself in an eerily familiar fashion._

_"Hey! What the heck is that?" yelled Ranma to the guide, pointing at the animal before him._

_The guide's answer was lost for a moment as the creature attacked, a massive blow of the bear-like paw launching the boy right at another pool. The water was cold, much colder than expected from such still pools, whose only apparent outlet was evaporation. It was also deep! Ranma struggled to orient himself as his center seemed to shift wildly, leaving him feeling... changed. His _gi_ felt oddly loose. Desperately he lunged for the surface, porpoising up and breathing a sigh of relief as hands came into view. He was still human!_

_Then, as the guide explained in his singsong accent about something called '_Nyanniichuan_', his hands bumped into something on his chest that wasn't normally there when he was treading water. He looked down at two pinkish globes of skin floating in his loose _gi_; then desperately, as the guide's explanation sank in, he yanked the edges of material apart to reveal… breasts, their pink tips already puckering in the cold water. Floating there, they mocked the vanished manhood that had, seconds before, rested confidently between his legs. His… no, her scream startled a flock of birds from their resting places. Then angry blue eyes sought a certain panda, which hopped down from its perch and grinned nervously._

_"Why, you...! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, OLD MAN!" Snarling, she surged from the pool._

Barry shuddered as the memory played itself out in Ranma's mind. The transformation had been... disturbing. Even though Barry came from a culture where men and women were considered equal; and homosexuality, gender 'confusion' and sex change operations were considered 'alternative' — if not generally accepted — lifestyles, it was still disturbing. This young man came from an upbringing where the male was the ultimate purpose of creation; perfectly designed and ultimately the best thing anyone could hope to be. This change was... worse than death.

'_Hold it,'_ he thought suddenly, '_Can you sort of replay that last?'_

After several false starts, they managed to catch Ranma's encounter with Ryoga as he stood on one of the cliffs above Jusenkyo.

'_Grrr! Maybe I should have pounded the bacon flat back there. I don't mind it if an animal bites me, but I won't take that from a guy! Does she know?'_

'Not a clue! And I can't tell her because I gave my word.'

'_Ummm, Ranma,'_ began Barry, _'are you sure she doesn't... I mean...'_

'Ya tryin' to tell me somethin' I don't wanna hear?'

'_Probably, yes. But, well… Some girls might find such an opportunity to sneak a guy in to their room ideal.'_

'Man, I wish ya were here so I could pound ya! How _dare_ ya think that of Akane!'

'_Sorry, man!'_ Barry reflexively cringed. _'You know her better than me! I just... You seem like a nice guy. I mean, you're taking the idea that some crazy foreigner is lodged in your skull with you pretty well, and I know that you were trying to help me.'_

'Well, don't throw around accusations like that!'

'_Ranma,'_ Barry said dryly_, 'how else am I going to consider possibilities? If I even think them, you hear them.' _Barry dropped that line of thought_. 'Now, I guess we've got to figure out how and why I can take over sometimes. That is hellishly dangerous. You have all sorts of reactions and responses that I'm not trained to manage. It's okay if there's no threat; but whenever we're stressed, I go all overboard with a range of options I've never used.'_

'The best bet from my end would be to get ya outa my skull.'

'_I suppose so. Though how we're going to figure that one out is beyond me, especially since you're interrupted every five minutes or so. Oops, here comes the next one!' _

Ranma shifted his perception outward in time to see Soun Tendo and a panda advance into the dojo. The Tendo patriarch had an odd, twisted expression on his face as he marched up to Ranma and grabbed him by his shirtfront. Suddenly Barry was introduced to his first Tendo Demon-Head Aura Projection (patent pending).

"RANMA, HOW DARE YOU MAKE MY LITTLE GIRL CRY!" Barry wasn't certain whether the words were a shout, a whisper or something in between, but it was fantastically intimidating. The panda waved signs in Japanese — Where did a panda learn to do that; and from where did it get them? — that made no sense to the intimidated Barry. He guessed that certain types of Japanese-English translation required a cooler head and calmer settings. Desperately, he tried to avoid defending himself against the apparition before him because once again Ranma's body was under Barry's control. This time Ranma figuratively leaned against that damn barrier and kibitzed about the two strange characters.

'The longhaired guy is Akane's dad, real emotional. I understand he's been like that since they lost Mrs. Tendo about ten years ago.' Ranma figuratively yawned as Barry cringed under the dual assault. 'The panda... Well, that's my old man.' Barry started and remembered the Jusenkyo story.

'What's he saying… er, writing?'

The signs suddenly jumped into focus. )'Treat your fiancée better!'( demanded one. Soun ranted some more and the sign flipped. )'What he said, boy!'( Barry switched his attention back to Soun.

"You even let her take that pig with her without a fight. Ohhh! The schools will never be joined! Ryoga could never keep the dojo. Urk—!"

There was a brief flicker as both Ranma and Barry saw an implication to that statement neither liked. Ranma had been unaware the fathers knew about Ryoga. Barry was shocked and angered a father would fail to defend his daughter against such a threat to her integrity. With a snarl, both minds were in unity as Ranma reared up and grabbed Soun Tendo by the throat and slammed him into the posturing panda. Both went down hard. Ranma's hands and glowing battle aura pinned them to the floor. The edges of Soun's gi began to smoke where Ranma gripped the fabric. His demon head expired from fright; the purple-faced, flaming apparition threatening to strangle him did not resemble the Ranma he knew.

"Did you just imply that Ryoga and P-chan are the same?" Barry demanded, with Ranma snarling over his mental shoulder. At Soun's hasty nod, he upped the intensity. "You _knew_ and you didn't try to _stop_ it?" Ranma and Barry didn't know it, but their combined auras glowed orange, then red as they formed a fanged catlike projection that snapped at the fathers.

Soun and Genma fainted. As emotions cooled, Ranma regained control and the aura projection faded away. He walked over to the fire bucket and coldly used its contents to slosh them back to consciousness. Quietly he raged, 'Did everyone here play him for a fool? How could he ever face Akane after this?'

'_Calm, Ranma. There's no control in anger. Any animal trainer can tell you that.'_ Barry flashed images of horses performing strange maneuvers for some reason. _'If Akane doesn't know about P-chan, she's hardly at fault and you're bound by your word. This really seems to be between Mr. Tendo and Ryoga, don't you agree?'_ Barry considered the mess. _'You know, this might be a good time to solve our problem, preferably someplace alone. Soun Tendo will deal with Ryoga as honor demands.'_ Soun sputtered awake as Ranma nodded and came to a decision.

"Mr. Tendo, Pops? I'm going on a training trip — alone! I don't want anyone following me. I don't want anyone with me. I don't want Nabiki selling me out on this. When I get back, I expect to see P-chan gone for good."

"If I tell Akane about Ryoga, she'll..." Soun wept.

"Take Ryoga aside and tell him. Let him know he's not wanted here. He always brags about his honor — call him on it! If that doesn't work, start dropping hot tea near him. He knows if Akane finds out, it's over." Ranma glared at them both causing them to cower. "Take him to the vet and threaten to castrate him, for all I care! I want him gone when I get back. Pops, youkeep Mom outa this. Understand?" He turned and walked away. Over his shoulder he called back, "I'll be packed within the hour. I'll be checking up on ya, so don't take too long. I'll send word when I'm coming back. Ryoga had better be gone by then."

Soun gained control of himself and attempted to repair the situation in a typically Soun or Genma way. Stupidly.

"But what about repairs to the dojo. Who will—!" Ranma turned back briefly.

"You still look pretty spry and Nabiki could probably do with some exercise," Ranma replied with a glare. "Maybe it'll keep her from messin' with my life." He turned away, speaking over his shoulder as he walked away again. "Besides, with me gone, there shouldn't be too many problems. Unless the tomboy decides to adopt one of you as her punchin' bag."

Soun protested and the panda raised a sign titled, )'What about the schools?'(

"Don't push yer luck!" They gulped as he swung around and they saw the anger held in check. "Me and Akane ain't married yet and you people ain't helpin'!" He turned to his father. "Pops, you tell Mom not to make any plans behind my back. I promise you, I'll _ask_ for seppuku if you all don't keep yer mitts off us." Ranma smiled slightly. "You know where that would leave you."

The panda nodded rapidly. Genma knew he would have to follow that path if his son did. Ranma stared him down a dozen heartbeats then left the dojo.

He stopped in the kitchen and scribbled furiously on the notepad. He was interrupted by the sound of Nabiki's footsteps in the hall above and fled to the greater safety of the hallway, where he could see anyone coming. He finished the note, scribbled a closure, looked at it aghast and mumbled something derogatory to an unseen listener. He frantically erased it, signed his name, ripped off the missive and fled, leaving the tablet behind.

Later, he was hanging upside down outside Akane's window. Akane looked out at him with a mixture of guilt, anger and dismay. Her tears had left visible tracks down her face. She was more than ready to misunderstand why he was leaving.

"Akane, I didn't want to head out without saying good-bye."

"So... You're leaving me at last. I thought..." She was subdued and Ranma could see the glisten of fresh tears in her eyes. "S-s-so where do I… we send your things?"

The boy groaned. Barry, without any choice but to listen, groaned as well. Where did this girl get such a low self-image?

"It's not like that, Akane. I'm just goin' on a trainin' trip. I...I got somethin' on my mind I gotta take care of." '…And you'd never believe me if I told you it was someone else's mind.'

'_Never know unless you try,'_ commented the visitor.

"Can't you trust me, for once?" Ranma ignored Barry's comment.

"What's to trust?" she wailed suddenly, slamming the palms of her hands down on the windowsill hard enough to make the wall shake. She continued more quietly. "You never admit how you feel! You're always in the other girls' arms. What do I mean to you?"

"A lot. You think I was just standin' around in that tux last week?"

"Then why can't you say it?"

'_She's got a point,'_ Barry commented.

"Why can't you?" he shot back a little harshly from having to deal with an unseen peanut gallery.

The unseen visitor was getting a headache. These kids were so damn young for the experiences and emotional seesawing they were enduring. Hell! Between surging hormones and stubborn egos, they'd be lucky to last a week if they did admit their feelings. Akane had one of the lowest self-images he'd ever encountered in a girl of such obvious poise and beauty. Maybe he was dead. He could think of few things more painful than having to watch these two kids tiptoe around non-existent obstacles. Yup! He must have been sent to Hell.

From somewhere came an image of that Ryoga boy snarling, 'Ranma, because of you, I've seen hell!' Mollified somewhat by the irony, he silently prodded Ranma. _'If you don't stop irritating her, you're either going to set her off again or end up dragging her with us to the lake tonight.'_

'Would that be so bad?'

'_Hey, Ranma, you said that if you take her with us, the others would end up joining forces and following. Besides, your parents will have the wedding bans posted before you get back. If you end up in a fight defending Akane, I might end up taking over and — just to remind you again — I am not a martial artist. We don't even know if I can effectively use your skills. We were lucky things worked out as well as they did earlier.'_ Barry sighed again. _'If I kill someone because I don't know what I'm doing, you'll catch the blame and you won't be able to protect anyone. And if I get us killed, that will leave Akane, and others you care about, unprotected. Get my drift? Just give her your note and let's go.'_

'Nag, nag... I'm comin', old man.'

Ranma reached forward and Akane leaned out. For an achingly brief moment, the strong, callused fingers of the young man caressed the cheek of the young woman he couldn't admit he loved. Her hand reached up to his, pressing it there for a long moment before clasping the hand itself. As she did, Ranma passed her the note.

Then he dropped to the ground, picked up his pack and was gone.


	3. Guest Ki: Fences

**Guest Ki: Chapter 2**

_**Fences**_

'_Damn! They do get in the way, don't they?'_

'Oh, shut up,' grumped Ranma Saotome. It was only twenty-four hours since they had left the Tendo's. Barry had suggested that an island or lakefront would be best for their purposes, considering some of the odd friends Ranma had. Ranma had remembered the lake below the cliffs where he and Ryoga had faced off after the lost-boy's Bakusai Tenketsu training. It was isolated, familiar and heavily forested, as well. After a cold swim to the island, the red-haired girl started camp preparations by building a fire. The fire would heat water for her transformation back to her normal male form.

For Barry, girl-type Ranma was strange and intriguing. The difference in balance, hormones and emotionality was subtle, yet significant in hundreds of ways. Colors looked slightly different, foods tasted differently. The way the girl used her upper body strength focused on different leverage points in hip and leg. Pound for pound, girl-type Ranma was actually stronger than boy-type, except in the shoulders and arms. The machinery of hip and leg was particularly unique and fascinating. The obstruction of Ranma's bosom was minimal, but only because Ranma had learned to compensate for the differences.

'_You know, Ranma, I always understood these things were really sensitive. How do you deal with—'_

'Bar-ry!' whined Ranma. 'Remember yer a married man, dammit!'

'_I'm not hitting on you, Ranma! You'll find after a while, that I'm one of the most insanely curious people on the face of the earth. I know a woman's breasts are nearly as sensitive as a man's… uh, ummm... never mind. I was going to ask how you dealt with getting hit there during combat.'_

'I try not to get hit… _especially_ there.' The reply brought a vivid memory of Akane grabbing her in a totally unexpected and punishing squeeze when P-chan had first showed up. "Do ya mind?"

'_Sorry, Ranma. It's not a sexual thing… at least, not in this case. It's... the engineering, the balance... To me, the female body is a thing of beauty, while the male body is... well, slightly humorous, at best.'_

"Why don't ya go jump in Jusenkyo, then!" Ranma snarled, embarrassed. The fire finally caught at that point and she concentrated on feeding the flame until it could support the larger sticks and logs.

Barry chuckled. _'Why would I do something silly like that? I'd far rather observe my wife than be her. Besides, women have all sorts of problems men don't, like the 'monthly thing' and you really don't want to know what they're like during pregnancy.' _Barry was lost in thought briefly as he remembered his wife, wondering what she was doing, wishing more than anything else that he was back with her...

"Can ya think about somethin' else already?" Ranma was even more embarrassed, uneasy as always about the potential of her female body and guiltily intrigued by the wisps of imagery that slipped from Barry to her concerning certain intimacies with his wife. She quickly set the pot of water on to boil.

'_What!'_

'Nothin'...'

'_Hmmm… You know, you have some unique opportunities here.'_

"Don't be a pervert!"

'_What's perverted? Look at it this way. Most guys have to guess about the motivations of the girls around them and wonder why they react to different things the way they do. You have a brain. Carefully watching how your perceptions and feelings differ between male and female forms...'_

"Oh, kami! I get enough of that around Hiroshi and Daisuke!" lamented Ranma with a groan.

'_Oh? Sounds like a remarkably astute…' _Ranma ran some mental images of the conversations Hiroshi and Daisuke had inflicted on him. Barry snorted. _'Oh, brother! All right, perverted. A couple of fairly typical, hormonally charged, teenage boys.'_ He pondered the imagery. _'Do they treat you any differently when you're in your girl-form?'_ Ranma imaged. Barry winced at Daisuke in particular. The two usually reacted to Ranma as just one of the guys; but as a female, they seemed to think his alternate form was a toythat Ranma had. And friends shared their toys, right?

Finally, the water was sufficiently hot to cause the transformation and Ranma breathed a sigh of relief. He quickly set up a tent and made several tree caches to keep wildlife out of supplies. His obvious competence at this and other preparations brought further comment from Barry, as he compared personal experiences in the Boy Scouts.

Ranma nodded absently. 'OoHOHOHOhohohoho...' Kodachi's laugh echoed in his mind, as he considered yet again how absolutely insane this was. He sighed as Barry apologized again for the inconvenience, then immediately inquired about the fruitcake gymnast. It was bad enough dealing with Akane with the family snooping around. Unfortunately, Barry couldn't be lost or misled, dammit! His wandering mind turned instead to Akane.

'_If it helps, those skin-rags Daisuke and Hiroshi pour over do not, in my opinion, represent normal relations between a man and a woman,'_ Barry broke in, _'especially a husband and wife.'_

Startled, Ranma thought back over the times he had been both guiltily intrigued and thoroughly disgusted at some of the things those magazines had portrayed. He found himself relieved... and further intrigued.

'_Sorry, man, I am not going there! You gotta find that out on your own, or rather you and whoever you end up choosing. Ummm... You sure you want to think about that with me here?'_

Ranma cursed, as his memories had touched on the time Akane had walked in on him in the bath when he first arrived at the Tendo's and from there, toward certain fantasies...

'_If you want to keep things like that to yourself, try concentrating on a song you know real well; maybe it'll help drown out the images. Just keep it playing in the background. You know, like elevator music?'_ Barry gave a couple of examples, then added, _'At least your two friends don't seem to have contaminated you too much. Your fantasies aren't too different from my own when I was getting serious with Gwen…' _

"Why does this stuff have to happen to _me_?" Ranma bellowed at the sky in embarrassment.

Several days passed as Ranma tried to accustom Barry to the problems and sudden demands of unarmed combat. Lacking an opponent, Ranma challenged them with obstacles and preset traps. Hornets' nests were the least of the problems. This day, however, Ranma used the trees to rocket around the camp clearing. He poured on more and more speed and experimented with his various techniques.

Barry Barlowe ricocheted around the inside, so to speak, of Ranma's skull. Did he mention he was not a martial artist? He was, metaphorically speaking, keeping his hands to himself, but was trying to follow what Ranma was doing. He felt the spinning slow to a stop and realized that his host had ceased the massively disorienting movements of the aerial Mutsabetsu Kakuto.

"Hey," exulted Ranma. "We did it! Ten minutes and ya didn't try ta take over once!" Speaking aloud as she usually did here in the privacy of the woods, Ranma danced around the clearing in a more restrained flow of kicks and punches.

'_Ranma, I had the opportunity once, to try out a machine designed by NASA to disorient the rider by spinning him in three different directions at the same time,'_ Barry groaned. _'I thought it was kind of fun, but a few people got sick trying it.'_

"Yeah? Sounds cool."

'_Ahhh… Ranma? Could I take over physically for a moment?'_

"Why?"

'_I really want to be sick!'_

Ranma snickered with good-natured contempt. "I guess yer goin' to have to learn some martial arts, Barry."

'_There was a time I considered karate, but I never had the cash or the time. I think I was lucky.'_

"Oh, ya woulda been all right," Ranma offered, generous for a change. "Remember, yer trying to deal with dan-level speed before ya learn to walk in the Art. Besides, we don't have a choice." She grimaced as the flames flared up when she added more fuel to the fire. "I gotta be a hundred percent sure yer not gonna take over on me in a pinch or, if ya do, that ya won't hurt anyone till I get back in action."

Ranma put more water on to heat. Living in the middle of a lake did have some disadvantages. Of the three times they had tumbled into cold water so far, Barry had been nominally in control twice and felt the full effect of the transformation.

'_Ahhh, hot water,'_ sighed his guest_. 'Good idea to keep some around in case of accidents.'_ Ranma chuckled. _'Ranma, what you do goes beyond simple excellence in the Art. I've watched professional kick-boxing a few times, and it seems to me you move a darn sight faster than I ever saw them do.'_

"Ya got me there, Barry." Ranma chuckled and put a lid on the kettle. "The schools of Mutsabetsu Kakuto use ki manipulation to boost the forms that make up their special moves. A student starts out with kempo and a bit of jujitsu and trains only in the physical side of the Art until they're forced into accessing their ki. Not everyone can learn to manipulate ki the way ya need to, though. Those that can, hafta figure it out for themselves. A kempo master can hit ya nearly a dozen times inna second. With advanced ki training, it's possible to increase that ten or twenty times."

Barry had several questions at this assertion, but finally asked, _'What's ki? Is it magic, like Jusenkyo?'_

Ranma stuttered, and dropped silent for a moment. "That's right, you're a gaijin. Well, ki is a little like 'the Force'; you know, 'HHHHU-hhhh! HHHHU-hhhh! Luke, I am your father.'"

'_You're kidding, right?'_

Ranma tried to explain the principle and theory ofbreathing, ki and its association with all existing things, but was somewhat limited herself, as she used it; she didn't research it. "Where's Dr. Tofu when ya need him?" she asked rhetorically, feeling frazzled. She checked the water, which was only steaming, and replaced the lid.

'_Ranma?'_ Barry inquired as the pigtailed girl stuck more twigs in the fire to turn up the heat. _'You've had some pretty strange things happen to you. How do you know I'm not some evil spirit learning how your body works so I can take it over?'_

"We know ya can take over," Ranma snorted, "I'm just happy yer tryin' not to! Besides, if ya stick with me too long ya might just take the Nyanniichuancurse with ya when ya go. Ya think yer Gwen would like that?"

Barry shuddered at the idea. _'Oh, man! I don't want to go there!'_

"I thought ya said ya have a good relationship?" Ranma's tone was sly.

'_Ranma, the key to good relationships is to try to plan things in advance. You consider, in advance, what some action of yours might do to your partner. You try, in advance, to warn them of upsets to the program.' _

"What happens when somethin' blows up in yer face?" asked Ranma, getting honestly curious. "Ya know, 'not my fault, not your fault; shit happens'?"

'_You get together and work it out, each giving one hundred and ten percent of what they've got, because the other needs it,' _Barry returned sternly_. 'It doesn't matter if it's a scratch in a car door, an inconvenient diaper change for your kid, or a death in the family. Oh, and significant amounts of physical and verbal reassurance are mandatory!'_ With some humor and longing, Barry paused, dwelling on some of those moments before getting back to the topic at hand_. 'But still, surprises are never a good idea. I think gender switching with water would put a strain on even our relationship.'_

"Ya think?" Ranma deadpanned.

'_Give me a break!'_ groused Barry. _'I already know I'm not in the same world I was in.'_

Barry had attempted to 'call home'. The slightly different rules for international calls had been shrugged off to bad memory. Barry had only once called an international number. While waiting for the call to be placed he had leafed through a nearby atlas - and felt his guts twist! Barry was very familiar with U.S. geography. What he saw, didn't match his memories at all. He found where his hometown should have been, but it had a different name. Washington, DC was called Washington City. He had almost missed the spelling on Atlanta, Georgia, which was now called Atalanta. Further west, St. Louis was St Lewie. Barry had hoped, for a while, that the atlas merely had misprinted roman-ji. After all, it was not their principal writing system, but minor significant differences in geography combined with the myriad changes in designations had finally convinced him.

'_If I do get back and wind up with your curse, Ranma, I probably don't even have a Jusenkyo to get cured at.'_ Barry sighed again and turned to their present problems. _'At least Akane knows what she's getting!'_ He snickered as Ranma protested his assumption. _'Where do we go from here, sensei?'_ Ranma grumbled but was mollified somewhat by the 'sensei' bit.

"Well, we've found I can release control to you. If I do, I can take control back from you." Ranma ran her hand through her hair and sighed herself. "If you're startled or threatened, you usually take control from me, dammit, and I have to wait for you to give it back. Finally, if you have enough warning, you can refuse to take control from me. Does that sound right to you?"

'_So far, I guess,'_ came the reply. _'Of course, we're conceding the takeover bit purely from the experience with Akane, what's-her-name the family extortionist and your parents. It could simply be that they're really scary people.'_

Ranma snorted at this attempt at humor and began to do cool down stretches beside the fire. As the water boiled, she reached into her pack for a thermos, dumped the water from it and refilled it.

'_How long can a thermos keep water warm enough for the change, Ranma?'_ inquired Barry, on his curiosity-horse again. _'Is it a matter of temperature, or temperature and quantity?'_

Ranma screwed down the thermos cap and frowned. "How much _and_ how hot, I guess," he said finally. "I know I can get a little wet with cold water and not change. I can drink hot or cold beverages without changing. I've never tried it with much less than a glass full of water, hot or cold... No, wait, I did get Ryoga once with a squirt gun..."

'It might be worth experimenting on this. I can see in your memories that Japan gets a lot of rain. Does only water trigger the change? Or does any liquid that is hot or cold?'

Ranma rubbed his head with his fingers. "Wadja need to know all this for?" he muttered, discontented. "What difference does it make?"

'_Why does a martial artist pour over old scrolls about forgotten techniques? Knowledge is power, Ranma. In any battle against another of the cursed, it could give you a critical advantage. Besides, who knows, it'd be a real kick in the rear if it turned out your cure was to be immersed in hot salad dressing, wouldn't it? How does waterproof soap work? How…'_

"Enough already! Jeez," Ranma grumbled. This Barry guy was more curious than a c-ca-, feline animal. Ranma was also beginning to suspect that Barry was someone who threw himself into a project to take his mind off things he couldn't control. He shook himself and rose to his feet. He really didn't want to be a 'project'.

'All right, Barry! Let's get started,' Ranma commanded, after turning control over to his guest. 'Let's try some basic stances. This is the 'Horse Stance'... Hey, you do that pretty well!'

"I'd better, Ranma," Barry smiled. "I've been teaching dressage for five years now; and I rode English, Western and dressage for a lot longer."

Ranma frowned as a flood of images swept over him of children and adults riding a variety of horses and ponies and commanding them to do peculiar maneuvers. Then the images focused on the dressage tests where riders and horses went through sets of maneuvers to test precision, memory and timing. He grinned.

'Damn! You are a martial artist!'

"Huh?" Barry had been holding his stance as he let Ranma review the memories. "Since when?"

'Martial Arts Horsemanship!'

"How do you figure?"

'Those dressage tests. They're kata!'

Barry laughed. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, after all.

Akane had blushed crimson when she read the note Ranma passed her. She read it again, cried and then carefully destroyed it. She thought about what it would be like to wait two weeks and act for everyone as if she feared Ranma was gone for good. She swallowed. It wouldn't be too hard. For months now, that had been one of her greatest fears. As she pondered, another one rose up and bit her.

_She arrived at the lake, only to see Ukyo or Shampoo, or both, cuddling up to Ranma, waiting for her, smiling._

She clenched her fists, her feelings as turbulent as the air in a hurricane.

The note, in pencil, read:

'_Akane, destroy this note after you read it. At the end of the month, come to the mountain lake where Ryoga and I finished our fight after his Bakusai Tenketsu training. I'll meet you at the waterfall. After you get there, we'll..._'

The sentence was unfinished.

"We'll what?" she asked herself. The waterfall wasa romantic spot, though.

'_I can't forget what happened at the wedding, Akane. The danger to everyone is just going to get worse — for you in particular_.'

"Why 'me in particular'? Baka!" She read on; the fact that he'd given her this note was hopeful.

'_I chose the lake to slow down our friends who are cursed. The woods will make it tough on the Kuno's with their weapons, or Ukyo, if she shows up, so don't worry if you don't shake them all. Bring the life jacket you got last summer for the boat. I'll haul you across to the island where I'll be training._

'_Please, don't bring the pig. He doesn't like me and knowing me, I'll have enough trouble without giving you extra reasons to pound me_.'

After that, came a heavily erased area where a closure might be expected and, finally, Ranma's signature.

Akane looked at the pile of ashes in the little bowl beneath her lamp. She wished she hadn't destroyed it quite so quickly. What had Ranma scratched out? How could she find out? It was not like he'd made copies and left them lying around. Ooh! She really wished she hadn't destroyed that note!

Frowning, she tried to pull up a memory she felt tickling about the back of her mind. Copies… secrecy... spying... searching for clues... What was it? Ranma had written in pencil, on the kitchen pad. She could check and see if the pencil marks had pressed through.

She snapped her fingers and dodged out of her room like a scalded (with all due respect to Ranma's ailurophobia) cat. She glided down the stairs and ducked into the kitchen. She'd just pick up the pad and…

"Eeep!" Akane yelped as she discovered her sister had a visitor.

Ukyo jerked upright from where she'd been leaning on the counter. Kasumi looked up and smiled at her little sister. The former looked guilty (as well she should!); the latter looked… well… like Kasumi always did. The kitchen pad rested just beyond Ukyo's fingers. It was all Akane could do to pull herself together and act normally. She nodded at her closest rival.

"What are you doing here?" Akane challenged. Ranma had insisted they not to press charges against Ukyo over the blitzed wedding and, as a result, they couldn't do anything about Shampoo and the Chinese crowd, because they'd drag the okonomiyaki chef down with them. Akane noticed that the other girl had moved her hand almost imperceptibly toward the pad. Internally, she growled. Ukyo was not getting that pad! But, she had to do it in such a way as to avoid both suspicion and an open battle in Kasumi's kitchen.

"Hi, Akane-chan," replied the okonomiyakichef in a small voice. "Where's Ranchan gone?" Akane felt a brief thrill, as she realized her 'role' was upon her. She glowered at the girl she felt had been, if not a friend, then at least a friendly rival. She felt some satisfaction as Ukyo cringed.

"Ranma's not here, Ukyo. He... he left on a training trip." She turned slightly away, letting her own feeling of guilt and bitterness color her features and her body language.

"Yeah, well, I knew that. Met him on the way out with one of my 'Specials'. No sense letting it go to waste." She felt guiltier as her information caused Akane's temper to flare even more. "I… I really went nuts there at the wedding, Akane. I'm sorry."

"How sorry?" Akane snapped and glared.

Ukyo's head picked up a bit. "Not _that_ sorry," she responded. "I'll pay my share of the damages and I'll testify in court if someone tries to stiff you, but I'm not ready to give up on Ranchan yet."

When Ukyo had given Ranma the 'Special', her fiancé insisted he didn't want company and quickly lost her near the train station. Ukyo had been quite put out. Then inspiration struck. She knew that everyone in the family tended to use the kitchen pad for notes, phone numbers and whatnot.

If Ranma had written anything about his destination, she wanted it and knew she could get it by taking a rubbing from the paper beneath the sheet he wrote on. It'd be worth paying for the damages and a week or so of lost business. She started as Kasumi swept past her.

Akane had been seeking unsuccessfully for a plan to take the pad and leave the kitchen undamaged. She finally concluded that there wasn't one to be had on short notice and was mentally apologizing to Kasumi for the coming destruction when her older sister took her by the arm and pulled her out the door.

"Akane-chan, do you know where P-chan is?" Kasumi spoke rather loudly compared to her normal tones. "Father has decided that we should take him to the vet for a checkup."

Akane was startled at the idea. It was so far outside her line of thought at the moment that considering it totally derailed her plans for the kitchen pad.

"Why now, oneechan?" she asked. "It's not like P-chan is acting sick or anything."

"I think it's because of a program Father saw on TV," Kasumi replied, still loudly. "The diseases pigs carry are much more likely to be caught by humans than are those of other animals."

"Well, all right," the youngest Tendo said. "I suppose that sounds fair."

"Father also wants you to consider this," Kasumi added, giving it particular emphasis. "He wants you to give serious thought to the idea of having him 'fixed' while he's getting his checkup."

"What's broken?" Akane didn't get it right away. A muffled snort from Ukyo, who was exiting the kitchen, made her rerun the statement through her mind, and redden in embarrassment.

"You know, Akane. Neuter, castrate… 'snip-snip!' no chance for baby pigs?" snickered the okonomiyaki chef.

"Eeuw!" Akane forgot all about the kitchen tablet and winced. "Poor P-chan!"

"Well, it's not like we're trying to raise pigs like Ryoga's friend, Akari," giggled Kasumi. "Anyway, the procedure is supposed to reduce the levels of aggression in male animals and maybe it will help him be more tolerant of Ranma. P-chan does start a large number of the fights those two have." Kasumi said the last with a hint of reproach.

Akane sighed and looked even sadder. Ranma's note sort of hinted that as well, but having Kasumi confirm it prevented her from simply blaming Ranma's irrational jealousy about her little pet. Ukyo moved past them toward the front door.

"Oh, well, gotta fly! If you see Ranchan before me, let him know I was asking about him. See ya!" She was out the door and over the wall in a flash.

"Oh, no!" exclaimed Akane. "The kitchen pad!" She burst into the kitchen. She groaned. That sneak, Ukyo, had taken it. She growled in rage. This would ruin everything. Vaguely, she was aware of Kasumi moving past her and opening a drawer under the counter.

"Are you looking for this?"

Akane looked blankly at the pad in Kasumi's hand. Faintly she could make out the imprint of hiragana from a missing page. She began to hope.

"Kasumi, how..."

"Ranma never puts the tablet back where it belongs when he uses it," her sister sighed, sounding aggrieved. "I found it in the hall after I had started using a new pad. When Ukyo came in, I put it in the drawer." Her eyes twinkled. "Ukyo really must like the design on this stationary, ne?"

"Oneechan, you are wonderful!" Akane gushed, clutching the pad to her chest and nearly dancing in glee. "Oops! I... uh... That's great, I mean."

"Ranma presses so hard when he writes. You don't really need to rub across to read it."

"Eeep!" She let the light fall across the page bringing it into clear relief. She moved it this way and that, trying to read the erased closure of the message.

"Next week, you should take the train to see Aunt Makiko because you're feeling depressed," Kasumi whispered seriously, ignoring her reaction. "I'm sure she'll let you stay till you need to go on the training trip. Her house just happens to be in a little town slightly north of where you want to go."

"Oh, Kasumi!" Akane hugged her sister. The closure, carefully erased, held the word 'love' and she knew Ranma never signed anyone's letters with that particular emotion. Kasumi struggled for a moment her ribs creaking, before Akane released her.

"Oh, eErk, my..." Kasumi grimace turned into a smile. "You're quite wel-COMe... Akane! My ribs..."

'Where am I now!' P-chan tried to dig his way through the binding layers of cloth. It was a dark and lonely place. Ranma had cost him his humanity. Now, his male identity was in jeopardy! He had left Akane's room the same time she had, but had stopped at the top of the stairs, unwilling to get lost in the lower house. He had clearly heard the conversation between Kasumi, Ukyo and Akane. The mention of 'vet' made him shiver. When the pretty chef had so casually said 'ca-ca-cas—', he had immediately begun preparations for travel.

He should have known that when he tried to leave a place, his cursed lack of direction would nail him down.

Ryoga began wondering whether he should attempt a Shishi Houkudan while in his cursed form. He squealed in frustration. Then suddenly, he could see light. The little animal struggled to free himself, only to feel two strong, feminine hands firmly grasp him and untangle him from the spare sheets in the hall closet.

Kasumi gently, but firmly, grasped the small black pig. "Bad P-chan! I'm going to have to wash those sheets again." She turned. "Akane, P-chan was in the hall closet."

"Thanks, Kasumi." Akane skipped over, reached out and hugged P-chan firmly to her chest before he could decide whether to risk hurting Kasumi to get away. Of course, he would never even scratch Akane. It always felt so warm and loving in her arms. P-chan's ears twitched as Kasumi spoke.

"I called the veterinarian's office, Akane," she was saying. "We have an appointment first thing next week."

'Next week?' thought a panicked P-chan.

"I don't think I want P-chan fixed, Kasumi. Isn't he fine just the way he is?"

'Oh, yes! You tell her, Akane.'

"I really think it would be for the best, Akane. You know how the animal shelters carry on about people leaving their pets...'natural'." Kasumi fixed a calm and apparently loving look on the pig, which shivered for some reason. "I'm sure that it will only improve his temper. Why don't you lock him in your room? He gets lost as often as Ryoga, for heaven sake! That way, we won't need to hunt for him when it's time."

"Okay, Kasumi." Akane skipped back to her room and kissed P-chan affectionately on the snout. "Wait here you bad little piggy! I'll be up later." She gave him a little shove and shut the door before he could make a break for it.

Inside the locked room, Ryoga/P-chan looked around desperately for some escape. Akane had just... given in. How could she! It must be Ranma's fault somehow. The door refused to yield to his scrabbling. Maybe he could hide. If he hid well enough, they'd think he'd escaped.

After some investigation, he found a place where he thought he might be safe. It smelled so nice. Briefly, he wondered where he had gotten. He yawned. Maybe he could get out tomorrow after Akane went out. She wouldn't lock her door if she thought he was gone and he could open any unlocked door in the house. Reassured, he fell asleep.

Akane was really aggrieved the next morning when she pulled open the drawer. The blinking piglet had gotten a really good look at her unadorned upper body. As a result, he had sprayed blood over most of her undergarments before passing out.

An emergency call to the vet after the incident had sent a concerned Akane with a panicked P-chan to Dr. Kobetamiya for a quick consultation. P-chan was practically frothing with fright. The vet quickly gave the little animal a tranquilizer as its struggles were upsetting the other animals. The doctor had found nothing wrong with Akane's pet to her great relief. She inquired delicately whether the doctor would really recommend 'fixing' P-chan if he was in such good shape.

"Well, Tendo-san, there are some advantages to the procedure." Dr. Kobetamiya regarded the drowsy piglet on the examination table. "Aggression, of course, is often reduced..."

P-chan was feeling no pain. He beamed as Akane once more took up the gauntlet for him. As the doctor countered her concerns, he struggled to his feet and bleared unsteadily across the table. Groggily he identified the blob that was the doctor. As he rose on his haunches, he wondered if Mousse would see any better under the circumstances. For once, he resented the Master of Hidden Weapons. He never heard of anyone threatening to castrate a duck. Feeling moderately secure, he proceeded to weave his front legs in an offer to the good doctor to put up his dukes.

"Ummm..." The doctor stared at the surprisingly agile piglet. He could swear the little beast was challenging him to combat. "I think you said that he disappears a lot?"

"Hai! P-chan is always getting lost," Akane answered. 'Just as bad as Ryoga, in his own way,' she added to herself darkly.

"Well, little boy animals like P-chan have good noses and if they think they smell a little girl pig, they may travel several kilometers to find her."

"Oh-ho!" Akane exclaimed, laughing. "You little hentai, P-chan! You've been unfaithful to me."

P-chan was lucky he was tranquilized. The shock of such a statement, unbuffered, might have killed him. Instead, he toppled gracelessly over and gazed lovingly up into Akane's smile. 'You can cut me up and hang me for sausages any day, my love,' he thought as he 'bwee'-ed softly before passing out.

He awakened suddenly and found himself in a little nest of pillows and sheets in Akane's room again. Disoriented, he staggered up and looked around, feeling much like he had the few times he had gotten drunk. A horrible thought invaded his mind.

Had they… had they done it? He swallowed. He tried to look, but pigs aren't built very well for personal examination. Would he even be able to tell? He circled in the nest a few times and sweated, big time. Manhood, hell! Was he still _male_?

Carefully, he tried to press himself against things and finally determined that everything seemed to be there and nothing felt sore. Moderately relieved, he trotted to the door and waited his chance to escape. Concentrating, much as he would before delivering the controlled strike of his breaking-point technique, he waited.

He heard the door latch click and the creak of the hinges. He was focused. He was operating on instinct and timing to make his break. He lunged.

Kasumi looked shocked as P-chan crashed into the closed closet door in Akane's bedroom. He staggered back and bounced on his rear, eyes crossed in pain. He wove his way back to the nest of pillows and collapsed. He was going nowhere until he could tell which room he was in.

"You poor thing," he heard Akane's sister say. "Don't worry, they haven't done it yet."

P-chan leaned his sore head against the wall and used pressure to ease the pain. He was glad. Somehow, Kasumi always did know the right thing to say or do to comfort.

P-chan missed his chance when Akane came to bed. 'Tomorrow,' he thought. Tomorrow, he'd try the window.


	4. Guest Ki: Toss and Turn

**Guest Ki: Chapter 3**

_**Toss and Turn**_

Ranma felt like someone was trying to throw him out of his sleeping bag. 'Damn! Pops musta found me.' He opened his eyes and began his counterattack only to stop, gazing up at an enormously enlarged Akane armed with a salad fork and spoon. Around the young man were huge leaves of lettuce, shredded cabbage, radishes, sliced cucumber and other salad ingredients. Akane reached in with her tools and Ranma was again subjected to the being thrown about the inside of the huge wooden mixing bowl.

"Akane, what do you think you're doing?"

"What does it look like, Ranma? I'm getting your salad ready."

Then it hit him. Akane plus food preparation of any kind spelled disaster. He braced himself and screamed up at the Akane-occupied sky, "Baka tomboy! Are you trying to kill me? Get Kasumi to do this. Anybody but you!"

He immediately stiffened as tears formed in her eyes and a hurt look replaced the angry frown she had worn.

"Ranma, no baka!" she choked, lifting her mallet. Then Kasumi, Nabiki, Ukyo, Shampoo and a myriad of others peered scornfully over the rim of the bowl.

"You made your choice, Ranchan," said Ukyo, flipping her ponytail and turning away.

"Hai.Airen must lie in bed of lettuce pervert-girl toss for him!" sniffed Shampoo, also leaving.

Nabiki simply took her sister, Kasumi, by the arm and led her away, warning, "He can't buy his way out this time."

"Oh, my," the latter replied sadly. Then the hammer came down...

"_Ahhhhhhhhhh_!" Ranma woke with a start. It was not that the dream seemed too real, but what the dream had implied about his choices. As he tried to slow his breathing and heart rate, he felt a hand on his shoulder, turned and looked into the face of a concerned Akane Tendo.

"_ Ahhhhhhhhhh_!" Ranma woke with a start.

'_Damn,'_ muttered Barry grumpily_, 'you're dreaming that you're dreaming! Get a life, man! Besides, the salad dressing remark was off the cuff. I really doubt it'll prove to be the cure for Nian-whatchamacallit.'_

Understandably, it took Ranma a while to get back to sleep.

The next day, Ranma moved Barry from basic blocking maneuvers and strikes to begin attempting kata and test the displaced man's ability to use Ranma's already trained body to execute some speed-punches. An accomplished kempo master can strike an object a dozen times in a few seconds. That would not get them to first base against the Nerima martial artists Barry would face if something went wrong. Ranma often resorted to his Kachu Tenshin Amiguriken speed techniques, which were several magnitudes beyond what most kempo masters could ever dream of.

'Don't force it, let it flow,' recommended Ranma from a back seat inside his own head.

Barry punched the air, feeling extremely aggravated. On his own, the smoothly flowing responses of Ranma's trained body deserted him. His movements were fast, but horribly clumsy. In fact, all high-speed or high-precision movement was incredibly clumsy. "Let me stop a moment, Ranma."

'In training call me sensei, Barry-san,' warned Ranma.

"Yes, sensei." He straightened and extended Ranma's arms out to the side, otherwise maintaining the 'horse stance'. He took a deep breath and relaxed in bits and pieces, concentrating on moving individual sets of muscles. He began at the lower back and slowly worked out toward the extremities.

'What are you up to, Barry?'

"This hurts, Ranma. I think memories of my own body are confusing yours. When I was riding, I'd do this when I was stiff from a fall or out of balance with myself..."

'Barry, if you're goofin' off 'cause it's hard, I'm gonna be real disappointed,' Ranma said grumpily. 'You can't lie to me anymore than I can lie to you. 'Sides, the only way to learn is to do!'

"Yes, Master Yoda!"

'Sheesh! Why can't I get any respect around here?'

"Rodney Dangerfield you're not," returned an amused Barry.

'C'mon, Barry, spill it! What's really wrong?'

"Here! Take over your body again and see."

Ranma did and swore. His arms felt like Ryoga or Taro had been pounding on them. "Ite! What happened?"

'_I don't think I'm using your muscles right,'_ Barry said sadly. _'It's not like starting with untrained muscles and gradually building them up as you learn the more advanced forms. Maybe it's like the amateur driver of a racecar. I just need more time and practice to adapt to the equipment available.'_

"Hmmm…" Ranma moved through a kata, stretching and exploring the damage. "No lasting harm, I guess." He sank down on his haunches to think, just in time for the overcast skies to cut loose again.

"Damn!" Ranma stood up, shook the water out of her red hair and stalked to the tent. "This weather ain't helpin' either!"

Inside the tent, Ranma poured a cup of hot water. Then, as agreed upon with Barry, he slowly sank a finger into the hot liquid. The finger made it almost to the third knuckle before the change happened. Ranma withdrew the finger and frowned at it.

"Man, I hate that!"

'_It was a little odd, wasn't it?'_

"Wadja mean? It was just... I dunno, slow?"

'_That's not what I meant,'_ returned Barry excitedly. _'Even though it was your hand in the water, the change started in your head. It was like sitting in front of a searchlight turning on.'_

"Yer point is?"

'Maybe the curse could be controlled through psychology, self-hypnotism for example. You know… if you don't think it feels hot or cold…"

"Nope. Won't work. The old ghoul stuck me in girl-form for six weeks with the Full-Body Cat's Tongue; even tepid water felt boiling hot. And only _real_ hot water would let me change." Ranma shivered at the memory. "Guess we try going back, huh? Wonderful! (Snarl!)"

Barry felt queasy and it wasn't from the change. Didn't anyone ever stop torturing this boy? In the now open memories, he felt the young man's horror at his loss of 'manhood' and his fear that, due to the ridiculous but horribly dangerous old woman called Cologne, he might never regain it. What was even worse to Ranma was that, during this time, the eternal female problem had finally caught up with her. Ranma had not really believed, until then, that his change had been anything but topology. Having her first period certainly changed that! Even now, Ranma blocked the memory of her first period to a degree, as well as the subsequent, irregularly occurring, quietly endured events, filtering them out as an embarrassing, messy topic best ignored. It was the penultimate indignity of a curse that made his unique training the door prize instead of a crowning achievement. It was fortunate that Kasumi was an early riser and that the eldest Tendo sister had tremendous discretion. Ranma's pride would not have allowed him reveal his weakness to his fiancée, their fathers or the mercenary Nabiki. Barry hoped this young man never had to endure what he would consider the ultimate indignity, and quickly turned his thoughts to less dangerous subject matter.

Slowly, Ranma reached his hand catch some of the downpour. Barry shuddered as Ranma's dampening hand triggered the change. The transfer back to female was faster than the change to male, and this time Barry's perception of the event was like watching the trail of a lightning strike from cloud to horizon. The event left an almost perceptible after-image and Barry attempted to discover if this was significant. Once upon a time, Barry had run a role-playing fantasy game and read extensively about magic and the supernatural. The real thing, however, just beat all! Originally, Barry was expecting the change to focus on the sex organs, since that seemed to be the most obvious alteration, and he had focused his attention there. The change had practically blown him out of his seat, so to speak, instead originating somewhere inside the skull not far from the base of the neck. Repeated transformations should allow for analysis and permit Ranma to get a handle on this curse.

Again the hot water and Barry shuddered once more as the strings of light convulsed and reshaped in a wave. Male replaced female. Barry shook his head.

Hmmm… When Ranma growled and stuck his hand into the rain, the lightshow again shuddered from someplace in the brain out to the extremities. It definitely matched the form of the human body. Was he observing the nervous system? Nervous? Heh! He sure was, especially with the threat of enduring a woman's period! Barry really didn't want to be around on the receiving end for one of those… Uh-oh! Hold that thought. Queasiness, irritability…

'_Hey, ah, Ranma,'_ he asked, warily_, 'when is the next one due?'_

"Next what?" Ranma peered under the tent flap at the falling rain, muttering crankily. She stopped just short of inserting the tip of her finger in the shallow bowl of hot water.

'_Your next... you know...'_

Ranma was not in the mood for the word games. "Next what?"

Then Barry understood. _'Awww, nuts! What a time to visit!'_

Ranma grimaced as a cramp impinged on her awareness. Quickly, she dumped the hot water over her head and changed.

"Barry, I think we'll pick this up later."

Akane did a wonderful job convincing everyone she was going into a deep depression. Her father was in tears, convinced, despite Ranma's promise to return, that it was all over and the schools would never be joined. Nabiki became more brittle than ever and occasionally prodded her sister in clumsy attempts to raise her spirits. Even Kasumi went about with a worried look, though her worries actually concerned a certain black pot-bellied pig.

P-chan suspended his escape attempts when Akane started to act strange. He sat in her lap and did his best to cheer her up. Ryoga was frightened to the depths of his soul at what was planned for him, but he wouldn't desert his love at a time like this. Damn Ranma for making her suffer so!

Akane was unhappy, but hardly suffering. Her uncharacteristic quiet had more to do with internal planning and the fact that Ranma was not there for her to get upset at. That she would be seeing him without any of her competitors in only a week, had her on edge and uncertain what to hope for.

"Damn that note," she muttered. 'What had he meant by it? Why had he scratched out the word 'love'? Why…'

Periodically her internal conversations would leave her in tears, as imaginary discussions with her fiancé ended in screaming and pummeling. Other conversations went so far the other way that she curled into a ball and hid her face in shame at her fantasies.

The fact that she wasn't sleeping much did make it easier in one way for P-chan. The pig probably endured far worse beatings in Akane's bed when she was asleep than he ever did at Ranma's hands as Ryoga. Akane was an active and violent sleeper. However, the inexperienced and terminally shy martial artist — he never looked at her even semi-undressed without passing out — barely appreciated this advantage, just as he was equally clueless as to what to do about her emotional state.

She had not, as she habitually did, told him her troubles; she was concerned about tipping her hand to Nabiki or one of the rivals who might be surreptitiously listening in. So, in her silence, P-chan suffered and his day of reckoning came closer.

Kasumi was very worried. She was as disappointed as anyone could be that Ryoga had been abusing his welcome so long, posing as Akane's pet. Still, actually sending Ryoga to be ca-ca-cas— (oh, my!), fi-fi-fix— (Oh, _dear_!) She would not let that happen. It went far beyond honor, for heaven's sake. She pondered how she could possibly help Ryoga escape without letting him know she knew about P-chan. She supposed, if worst came to worst, she could drop him on the way to the veterinarian's office, but the lost-boy had a distressing tendency of turning up where it was most dangerous for him. If she weren't careful, he'd show up on the examination table just when she was explaining how he'd gotten away. Perhaps she could encourage Akane to leave early. Yes, with more time she might manage to improvise something. She picked up the phone and made a call, then went to the foot of the stairs.

"Akane-chan!"

Akane had been in the midst of one of the 'good' ones, the fantasies that made her wonder for the umpteenth time who was really the pervert in this relationship. She vaguely heard her sister, but was so involved in what had become a dream, she didn't respond at first. Then she over-reacted, jerking awake with a half-voiced scream that tossed a drooping P-chan off her lap to the floor and caused her to follow him off the bed in a slide and nearly squish him. She panted, half from the fear of discovery, half from reaction to her dream, and barely stifled a scream again as something squirmed under her rear end.

"Poor baby!" she cried, realizing what she had done and scooping up the half-conscious pig. She cuddled him in apology.

'Owie!' groaned P-chan. 'H-h-heavy!'

The rest of the family, already on edge from her prior behavior, jammed in the door like a remake of an old slapstick comedy. Kasumi arrived last and, after peering over their shoulders, opened the way and moved gracefully into the room. Akane did wonder briefly at the hostile looks directed at her pet.

"What!"

"Akane-chan, I really think you need a change of scenery. Why don't you leave to visit Aunt Makiko, early? She hasn't seen you since you were little and she tells wonderful tales about Mother." Kasumi's gentle smile grew wider and she tipped her head with a slight shake as Akane started to protest that it was too early.

"B-but, Kasumi, it… I… uh, what about P-chan?" Akane recovered slightly better than normal. "He's going to need me." Akane really didn't like the idea of anyone operating on her pet, but the thought of keeping him closer to home made it tempting.

That was when Kasumi did one of the hardest things in her life.

She lied. Blatantly. Without flinching. Without even a quiver. Right to Akane's face.

"I'm sure he'll be fine. (Lie.) He'll be waiting for you when you come back. (Lie.) We'll keep him shut in your room and I'll check on him every day. (Lie.) I'm sure that after a week or so, he won't even notice that anything's missing. (Oh, _boy_! what a whopper!)"

P-chan grew more and more concerned at Kasumi's words. He really shivered at the 'not notice anything's missing'. But his real reaction came at Akane's reply.

"Well, okay, Kasumi. I guess I'm just being paranoid. ('What?') I'm sure P-chan will be all right with you. ('Oh, _no_, Akane! You can't mean...') I mean I might just upset him more or hurt him accidentally. ("Bwee!" '_Please_, Akane!') It'll be best if I'm not here." ('I'm Doomed!')

Akane handed P-chan to Kasumi and began to pull clothes to pack. Kasumi looked down at the piglet, remembered that this was in fact Ryoga and passed him on to her father, with whom she was upset for maneuvering her into this fiasco. Soun, still tearing from his earlier wailing, looked down at P-chan and grimaced, holding the little animal away from his body.

P-chan, scared, frustrated and depressed, promptly bit Soun on the arm. Reactions from there were predictable.

"AAAAHHHH!"

"Growf!" )'He BIT you!'(

"HE'S BITING ME!"

"Dad! You're scaring him!" (BAM!)

"Oh, my!"

"Does this mean we get free bacon, instead of a vet bill?"

"Nabiki!"

"Just checking..."

"_Honestly_!"

It took all of Kasumi's skill to repair the damage, bandage her father's hand (and head) and convince Akane that she really should go to Aunt Makiko... Even if her father _was_ beginning to act like Ranma, picking on the poor little thing.

"wwwWWAAH! AHHhhhh... wwwWWAAH! AHHhhhh... wwwWWAAH! AHHhhhh..."

Ranma, in girl-type, snored in a ridiculously indelicate manner. Barry, the unwanted, ever-present visitor, figuratively twiddled his thumbs and debated what to do. He could and did sleep (and wanted to), or at least to shut down and experience something like it, but Ranma's snores combined with the unusual feelings of menstruation had disturbed his rest, only to be expected, given the circumstances.

Everything was soaked and they had to make a lean-to back among the trees. The structure kept off the worst of the weather and Ranma knew some tricks for staying warm using the soft new growth of fir trees as a blanket, but they couldn't escape the wet at this point.

Ranma as a boy, almost never snored; but the girl form, if she lay on her back, sawed logs enthusiastically with a cute little chirping sigh at the release of each breath. After a few hundred of those, it ceased to be cute, entertaining or anything else, except annoying. The cramps didn't help either, though they hadn't disturbed the girl yet. Cautiously, Barry tried extending his control in an attempt to roll the girl back over on her side.

Nothing happened. He couldn't get the control he needed. _'Dammit!'_ In fact, he couldn't get anything beyond a skin flinch reaction_. 'Well, maybe I can cause her to move if I make the skin flinch enough. Hmmm… What do I do if I've got a twitch? Let's try...'_ What he did get was a low moan and a weird sense of altered muscle control and tension in the girl's frame. He immediately suspended operations to evaluate what happened.

His earlier success had been to twitch an involuntary response along Ranma's left leg. He had managed this by accident, but it had been the final stimulus that allowed him to see that net of energy he glimpsed during the girl-type/boy-type changes. It made him aware of access to a whole network of energy fields and flows. The main stream traveled in a loop within the body, its source approximately centered behind the navel and curling over at its highest point near the brain stem. At its lowest point, it reached the groin and traveled up to the source again. The nervous system?

'_No,'_ Barry thought, _'They're not nerves.'_ He'd seen book illustrations of the human nervous system and this didn't look right. Besides, the whole thing pulsed faintly in time to Ranma's breathing. He looked at the nets of energy and the relationships. In some incomprehensible way, the loop of energy was the source, in turn, of field effects that enveloped the body and existed as part of a matrix of clusters and lines of energy.

As he traced various lines, he noted that many seemed to associate with specific areas of the body. The strongest ones were centrally located and sent influence throughout the body. Hmmm… Maybe this was that ki stuff Ranma had been trying to tell him about. Some of the strongest associations, in fact the ones he had been gently tweaking, seemed to be associated with an area located deep within the body, sending delicate streamers throughout the torso. The main associations, however, extended from somewhere around the kidneys down into the groin area...

'_Uh-oh!'_ He realized now, that these particular lines had nothing to do with major muscular control. They did, however, ah… influence things. His last attempt, where he had tried to tickle Ranma's side had gotten a tickle all right, just not in the side.

'_Bad, bad, BAD!'_ Barry mentally smacked his hand and kicked himself in the rear. Groping Ranma from the inside out was not where he wanted to go. He just hoped the teenager would pass it off as a dream or something. God help him if he had clamped down on those controls, instead of using his lightest touch. He had a brief vision of Ranma clutching herself screaming 'Pervert!'

He spread his awareness again and was surprised to note that the energy fields that were uniquely Ranma coexisted with another set of fields. The two sets overlapped but were not the same. When he investigated the second set, it responded the way his hands would respond to his intent. Apparently, the second field was uniquely Barry Barlowe. _'Am I seeing my soul?'_ He noticed that his field, or aura or whatever it was, was not pulsing like Ranma's. It was steady but much dimmer. Frowning to himself, Barry sought to match up his network with Ranma's. Maybe it would help? Besides, it took his mind off that annoying snoring.

He fiddled with his ki for a while, finally encouraging it to work with Ranma's. As the network began to pulse and glow, he felt an odd sense of accomplishment. He had no idea what he'd done but, if it imitated Ranma's far better trained systems, it had to be good, right? A yawn caught Barry by surprise as Ranma shifted slightly.

Ranma's continued snores intensified with the shifted position, allowing her mouth to open even wider. A tiny trickle of drool escaped the side of her mouth. Barry could feel it tickling along a cheek and begged for motor control to do something about it. Tickling, tickling...

Delicately, Barry reached past the profusion of sexually oriented energy, to a line that had several light clusters along Ranma's sides.

For a change, it worked.

Ranma twitched, rolled over and stopped snoring. Barry sighed in relief. He'd check with Ranma in the morning about his new discovery and see how it might help in their quest for safer cohabitation or Barry's ultimate ejection and, hopefully, return to his own world. He slowly let go of consciousness...

"wwwWWAAH! AHHhhhh... wwwWWAAH! AHHhhhh... wwwWWAAH! AHHhhhh..."

'_Awww, shit!'_

Ranma was on her back again. Barry sighed and reached for the energy lines that had triggered the skin twitch he'd used successfully earlier. This was going to be a long, long night.

The mists thinned as the sun rose over the top of the ridge and struck down into the valley. Had Barry Barlowe been there as a corporeal body, he would have been exhausted with bloodshot, dry eyes and a mouth that tasted like an old boot. Ranma, in girl-form at least, seemed to prefer sleeping on her back.

"wwwWWAAH! AHHhhhh... wwwWWAAH! AHHhhhh... wwwWWAAH! AHHhhhh..."

'_Yo, Ranma! Wake up!'_

"wwwWWAAH! AHHhhhh... wwwWWAAH! AHHhhhh... wwwWWAAH! AHHhhhh..."

'_Hmmm. Look, it's Kuno!'_ Barry imaged Tatewaki Kuno approaching with roses. _'Indeed fortune smiles upon the house of Kuno,' _the image orated with a flourish of the bouquet,_ 'for in this fragrant bower do I find the one I seek. Come, date with me_!'

"Mrrug, kill ya, ya hentai...wwwWWAAH! AHHhhhh... wwwWWAAH! AHHhhhh..."

Barry briefly considered projecting an image of Ranma in the grip of Kodachi, Shampoo and Ukyo, the three enthusing on how they would share him, then introduce Akane to the picture... Nah! There were boundaries one should not cross. Much as he hated to do it, he'd just have to wake Ranma the other way. Disgusted, he 'pinged' one of the energy nets he had tried so hard to avoid the night before.

"wwWWWWAAA!-UUUuu-AGH!" Ranma surged to her feet, warbling like some strange jungle bird, rubbing her breast.

'_Rise and shine, Ranma-chan,'_ caroled Barry with false cheerfulness.

She looked around then sought within, growling. "Barry, did you do that? Cause if ya did, and I ever get my hands on ya..."

'_Yeah, yeah. Look, sleeping beauty, you go ahead and start the daily routine. I still need a few winks.'_

"Didn't sleep well, huh? You'll get used ta it if we're stuck this way long."

'_The time of the month, you mean?'_ Barry replied unfazed. _'That wasn't what kept me awake. Anyone ever tell you, you snore?'_

"Huh? Since when?"

Barry replayed a portion of the previous night for Ranma.

"Gaak! That is so-o-o un-cute!"

'_Since when did you care about that?'_ Barry replied with a mental snort. _'The only good thing about last night was that I found out something new about our condition here. I woke you using that information.'_

"Bar-r-ry-y!" Ranma's face flamed in confused reaction. "Don't even think about doing that again..."

'_Jeez! Don't be a pervert, Ranma! You just do your thing and I'll go along for the snooze.'_ There was a feeling like the slamming of a door and Ranma was essentially alone for the first time in days.

She tested the water in the thermos and grimaced, looking at the looming skies. It was too wet to start the fire yet. As she lowered one of the caches to get some food — dried fruit and salted meat — thunder rolled and boomed across the hills as intense, scattered thunderheads moved through. The result of sun, rain and lightning would have been awe-inspiring under other circumstances, but the girl who should be a boy was less than enthused. More rain meant longer as a girl and that definitely wasn't a good thing right now. She glanced at the fruit and sniffed to identify it.

"Peachy," Ranma muttered as lightning crackled against the trees on the cliff above the lake, "Just peachy!" She chewed noisily.

Ukyo Kuonji stood behind the counter at Ucchan's carefully finishing an okonomiyaki supreme for another hungry customer. With Ranma who-knew-where and her attempt to find out foiled, it was hurry up and wait. She felt she had well and truly burned her bridges with this last act. It had been obvious to Akane that she was spying. She doubted the girl would ever forgive her now. She was a little surprised that it mattered. With a sigh and a flourish, the okonomiyaki was presented to her customer. Then she paused, as there were no other orders this late.

She found she missed Konatsu's company. She felt nothing romantically for the cross-dressing ninja, but he had been a comforting presence around the shop. The kunoichi left after the wedding, expressing his disapproval the only way he could, once words failed.

Why couldn't he see that she had to stop the wedding! It was wrong. _She_ was Ranma's 'cute fiancée', after all. The family had been forcing the two into it with the Nannichuan water. Even Nabiki thought so. Yet the look in Ranma's eyes, both during the insanity of the failed wedding and the two times he had seen her since…

Some of the customers had asked after what they thought was a very pretty, if slightly broad-shouldered, girl. Ukyo made excuses, mentioning family problems, expressing hope that Konatsu would return, but not attempting to hide the fact that she felt she had burned her bridges there, too.

The last customer finished, paid and left. Ukyo brought in her banner and locked the door as she had many times before. She cleaned the grill, the dishes and tools and put everything away for the next day; the next lonely, empty day, with nothing resolved and no one to talk to or share her troubled heart with.

She slumped on a stool and took stock in herself: She was Ukyo Kuonji, age seventeen (just), okonomiyaki chef extraordinaire, master of Okonomiyaki-ninjitsu, heir to the Kuonji family recipes, and owner/operator of Ucchan's. She was the 'cute fiancée', the best choice among the three 'legitimate' rivals, and Ranma Saotome's oldest friend. She rated so highly he waived the criminal and civil charges that should have been brought against her for disrupting his wedding and attacking his bride. It had even forced him to avoid accusing the Kunos and the China gang. Too bad, because if anybody deserved it…

Ukyo suddenly stopped herself and considered that last bit by again in a new light. She had done the same thing as the China gang and the Loonies. They, in her opinion, deserved to be arrested and/or deported, like the dangerous gaijin they were, because of how they had chased, threatened and hurt Ranma. Last week, she had done the same thing. His best friend?

Suddenly, Ukyo got a clue.

Ucchan's did not reopen the next day.


	5. Guest Ki: Wheels on the Bus

**Guest Ki: Chapter 4**

_**Wheels on the Bus**_

Xian Pu, better known locally as Shampoo was up to greet the sun in the small garden behind the Nekohanten. Within the confines of that tiny space she practiced her Art relentlessly. As a warrior of the Joketsuzoku, it was her responsibility to be prepared to meet any challenge to the safety of her tribe and their customs, no matter how remote. Her mastery of both armed and unarmed combat must have no equal, as the lives of her future children could very well depend on it. Violence, both mundane and supernatural, was common in the shadows of the White Mountain. The unprepared did not leave a legacy.

She moved through the 'Wheel of Enlightenment Form' devised by her great-grandmother like flowing water. The unarmed strikes and blocks of the first form were reminiscent of the splash and surge of a river as it disturbed boulders on its path to the sea. Next she drew her characteristic bonbori, or battle maces. Her flow became the stance of mountains; each strike grounded in the bones of the earth, devastating and powerful as an avalanche. The maces were discarded, to be replaced by curved twin swords. Her dance became the dance of winds, quick, striking like lightning, fading like a breeze, chaotically stealthy yet beautiful in action. She glided through a maneuver known as Wind in the Leaves and moved into another largely static moment. Both feet planted, she moved in a totally defensive suppleness, swaying and dipping, contorting and twisting. Shampoo maneuvered through this element with the natural grace it deserved. She burst again into a dancing, largely aerial form with sudden, lightning, offensive strikes and a general movement to the high ground. As she reached the climax of the kata, her battle aura burst forth lifting her braids and dancing like flame across her head and shoulders. Descending she finished with hands low, one foot planted for her weight, one extended behind to gain purchase for retreat, or prepared to flash forward in a low wheel-strike. Breathing easily, she waited for evaluation.

"Faster," grated a voice in the shadows. "Without weapons this time."

As Shampoo began the form again, Ku Lon, matriarch of the Joketsuzoku, known locally as Cologne, watched with a critical and unforgiving eye. A year ago, Shampoo's present conditioning and skill would have met nothing but praise. Shampoo's mastery of the Art was equivalent, possibly greater than the most skilled of the warriors of the tribe, an incredible accomplishment.

But it was not enough, might never be enough. They lived here in noisy, crowded, filthy Tokyo because the one man who beat Shampoo in battle continued to outstrip his Amazon wife in skill. She shook her head. As old as she was, nothing had prepared her, or any of them, for the reality that was Ranma.

When Cologne had come, it had been with the intent to intimidate and overwhelm the boy with her skills and convince him that he had no choice but to return to China with them. The boy's mule-headed response allowed him to master the Kachu Tenshin Amiguriken and eventually resulted in unleashing the Nekoken.

The matriarch had been forced to alter the objectives somewhat at this point. Ranma had proved himself to be more than a mere male. Killing him would have been easy. Though fantastically skilled, he was still a boy and did not have the drive or cunning her advanced years gave her. But his blood would be of far greater use in enriching the bloodlines of the Joketsuzoku.

If only she were a teenager again. She'd gladly do battle over Ranma; he was as cute as he was skilled. She'd lose, of course, she commented to herself a little sourly. Shampoo had already far exceeded Cologne's skill at the same age, and was still improving.

A slight movement caught her attention. Mu Tsu had exited the Nekohanten to stand three meters from the old woman. Mousse was tall and slender, with broad shoulders and the long dark hair usually allowed only among the woman warriors of their people. Mousse broke a lot of rules and wriggled past limitations. For example, his coke-bottle glasses did little to aid his vision and in many cultures he might have been considered legally blind, yet he had trained himself to the point where he was as dangerous as the average Amazon warrior.

He was also blind in his absolute devotion to Shampoo, enduring damage and ridicule in equal measure. Unfortunately, his mastery of Hidden Weapons was not a bonus, as far as the Amazons were concerned. The over-dependence on tools in his Art was a weakness, the dependence on magic to hide the weapons, a crutch. His disobedience in going outside the tribe to learn those martial arts skills was a slap in the face of the Matriarchy.

He was courageous though, and Cologne always had a soft spot in her withered heart for anyone who 'took a licking, and kept on ticking', as it were. She simply felt he was not good enough for her great-granddaughter. As a result, she was often far harsher with him than she truly wanted. Even the old, with their vast experience, could make mistakes. The gods help her if she ever thought otherwise.

"So, Mr. Part-time has come to join us," she grated with a crafty smile. "Should we be honored?" She snickered as he jumped. She had suspected he was unaware of her presence.

"Old ghoul," he muttered, which earned him a thwack. He backed out of reach and watched as Shampoo finished her second run of the form.

Cologne watched him with hidden mirth. Too bad Mousse was merely competent as a warrior, a pity, really. His only use here was to help run the restaurant and give Shampoo a bit of a workout with her bonbori now and then. She wished he'd take the hint, go back home and find someone else. She glanced at Shampoo, crouched waiting for her critique.

The young Amazon warrior had performed flawlessly, better actually than with the weapons. Cologne suspected this was a response to Ranma's preferred unarmed style. She'd have to keep after the girl. After all, certain things were expected and it would be embarrassing for particular challengers at home, if she defeated them without the excuse of a weapon for them to fall back on. She glanced slyly at Mousse. He looked to be building up to one of his normal prosy love announcements.

"Shampoo," she commanded, "Spar with duck-boy here."

At her words, Shampoo attacked. Cologne smirked. She expected the young man to go down in a half dozen satisfying strikes.

It didn't quite work out that way.

Shampoo attacked almost contemptuously. Mousse usually countered with his weapons, though only in a defensive manner, allowing the girl to bore in without fear of reprisal.

Today, Mousse didn't stand and defend, however. He dodged. He swayed aside from her initial strike and used his longer legs to maintain the distance between them. Several attempts later, when he finally countered, it was with a weighted net. Had Shampoo not been passing near her sword, she might easily have been caught right there. A snatch and a hard, tight swipe of its razor edge divided the net and Shampoo's momentum carried her past the falling mesh.

Mousse sidestepped again and leaped, keeping his distance so that he could use the superior range his weapons provided. Chains and bolas launched from his sleeves in an attempt to entrap his opponent, but now that the initial shock had worn off, her superior speed and experience began to tell. Shampoo simply slid past the attacks, angry and embarrassed by her initial failure.

Cologne almost called out in alarm as the heavy Chinese broadsword swept around for a diagonal blow that would severely injure, if not kill Mousse outright. He didn't have time to draw another weapon, but his snap kick caught her behind the bracing wrist and caused a loss of control for the critical moment Mousse needed to disarm her.

Then, Shampoo was too close and Mousse, simply not her equal at close-in, unarmed combat, took a quick, early morning nap behind the restaurant.

Cologne puffed out her cheeks comically as Shampoo stepped back, a little winded by the exchange. Shampoo wasn't the only one improving apparently. Mousse was nowhere near Shampoo's level yet, but...

"Whew! Duck-boy getting better! Remind Shampoo of Ranma almost, but with weapons."

"Sneaky," Cologne whispered. Had Ranma been training Mousse in secret? Not that it would do any good. Mousse wasn't an outsider. "Shampoo, get cold and hot water for our 'sweet dreamer' here. I need to talk with him."

Akane waved to her father and older sister as she got on the westbound train. It was everything she could do to keep from grinning in anticipation. She frowned then, remembering one loose end she was leaving behind. She hoped P-chan would be all right. Oh, well, he would be better off without her there. She knew as well as anyone how violently she slept, having replaced a few headboards, and even a mattress, before Ranma showed up, and sometimes she worried about her pet. No, P-chan didn't need that kind of excitement while recovering from his surgery.

Her backpack, carried rather than worn at the moment, had several changes of clothes, her gi and a pair of sturdy walking shoes. Her present costume was a tough feminine pants suit and blouse that allowed her maximum freedom of movement combined with maximum decency if she had to fight. She also carried one special weapon with her, in case of extra fiancées.

The trip, which had seven stops before her aunt's hometown, was normally tedious: a distance of 150 kilometers or more. At least the rain that plagued them of late left the landscape clean and bright in the sunlight. If the meteorologist was right, it was only temporary. Akane was just beginning to doze off when she noticed a figure slowly walking the length of the car. The movement and posture suggested the figure was a woman, but it was hard to tell, as it was dressed in a rain slicker and calf-high rubber boots. The hair was mostly hidden under a broad-brimmed hat, but Akane thought she caught a hint of violet.

Akane avoided eye contact and watched the figure with a half-lidded gaze. It almost had to be Shampoo. Akane had never forgotten the 'kiss of death' the Amazon had given her almost two years ago. The skill with which the Chinese girl handled herself and her weapons of choice did not add to Akane's confidence. Still, she had specifically chosen her own weapon with Shampoo in mind. She decided to get off at the next stop and reconnect after dealing with her.

She disembarked. As expected, she did not see Shampoo leave the train, but could feel hostile eyes on her. The restroom was the obvious place for the confrontation. It would give the illusion that Akane was not concerned about escape routes, therefore unaware of pursuit. She entered the largely empty room and accessed a pay toilet in the middle of the row. Grimacing she slipped under the barrier to the empty stall beside it and crouched on the seat.

The squeak of the rubber boots gave away what was otherwise a soundless approach. She heard Shampoo approach the stall. She listened as her opponent set herself, taking the deep, slow breaths that optimized oxygen and helped conceal one's presence and then the door of the other stall was smashed down with the force of a cannonball.

Akane skimmed over the door of her stall, weapon in hand. Shampoo was delayed in recovering, as she had committed herself to the attack and her bonbori hampered her turn in the tight confines of the stall. Akane managed to jam the muzzle of her weapon against the base of the Amazon's skull before the latter got more than a glimpse of the youngest Tendo. They froze, a tableau of potential violence waiting the signal to resume.

"Hmmph! Should know pervert-girl use dishonorable way to fight."

"Really?" murmured Akane. "You should talk. You know your skills are better than mine, but that doesn't prevent you from attacking me again. And by ambush, yet! I thought strong, honorable martial artists didn't pick on the weak?" She hated admitting that she was weak compared to Shampoo, but she needed information. "You looked like you were ready to kill."

"Grandmother find out panda-man train duck-boy in Anything-Goes style. Maybe hope Mousse beat Shampoo, but only get caught. Grandmother think funny. Shampoo think maybe airen make mistake and choose wrong wife. Pervert-girl go on trip. Too-too bad, not come back, no one know what happen." She smiled and slowly turned her head to let Akane see her lack of concern at the other girl's advantage.

"So, it's back to 'obstacles are for killing'?" Akane said. Akane would have to make her move soon or Shampoo would take her, gun or no gun.

"Akane no warrior," Shampoo drawled confidently. "Law of Japan say no gun, so Akane in big trouble. No have guts make worse by pulling trigger." Her turn became more obvious and Akane knew she had run out of time.

Strangely she felt no fear, only mischief and exhilaration. "You might be surprised," she said as she laughed and pulled the trigger on her air-pressured water gun.

Shampoo squawked and shrank, and Akane sighed in relief. Her greatest fear in this encounter had been that the other had been prepared with waterproof soap or some similar protection. She risked a clawing to reach into the pile of clothing and dragged Shampoo out by the scruff of her neck. She had won this round and wanted to make a point.

"Well, well, Shampoo," she said as the cat tried a few wild swipes before subsiding growling in her grip. "By your standards, I'd be well within my rights to throw you under the next train or drown you in one of the toilets. You said 'obstacles are for killing'." The cat glared at her, tense and waiting. "I'm not going to kill you; but it's not a matter of guts, Shampoo; it's a matter of pride. I'm going to lock you in that closet over there. I'll even leave you your clothes. When the attendant comes around again, you'll get out and, since the spigots are a type you can turn, you'll change back."

She shook the cat slightly. "However, I will tell Ranma you've decided I'm 'for killing' again. He might let you off easier than he did Saffron, but I don't know." She felt Shampoo stiffen as she considered that possibility. "He was awfully upset at that, and I read somewhere that the first time someone kills, it makes the second time easier."

She flung the clothes into the closet and hurled Shampoo-cat after them, slamming the door. Through the panels she called out, "You're a fantastic martial artist, Shampoo. I always admired you for that. If Ranma ever decided to train me, though, I think I could give you a run for your money. Meanwhile, I'll have to depend on him to keep you in your place."

She quickly left the room and was delighted to discover she hadn't missed the train. Embarking, she heard the yowl of the cat echo from the depths of the washroom. She giggled. This was a method Ranma could never try. As the train pulled away, she saw several station personnel cautiously begin to approach the restroom in response to the racket.

Not long after Kasumi and Soun returned from seeing Akane to the train, P-chan had finally pried the window of Akane's room open. He looked for a soft landing place. Seeing none, he leaped, trusting to luck, which let him down as usual.

Nabiki was walking out with Kasumi. She wanted to get some sun while it lasted. The latter wanted to hang some laundry.

P-chan struck Nabiki's head like a guided missile, knocking the short­haired girl down and dazing himself in the process. As he staggered to his feet, he bumped into Kasumi who boggled at him, hands over her mouth. He backed away, only to knock into Nabiki. He turned to register the new threat and froze.

Nabiki liked bathing suits to express more by being less. This one, in particular, succeeded very well. In fact, after she bought it, she used it for sunning _only_ in the privacy of the Tendo compound, deciding that it was a bit too much of an expression. Two band-aids and a cork might have done a better job of covering her admittedly well-developed body.

P-chan's eyes bugged out at this display only a meter away, then blood gushed and he was down for the count.

"Oh, my," Kasumi stammered. "Are you all right, Nabiki?"

"No," snarled the downed girl. "That damned pig! Can't he even escape right?"

"Probably not, Nabiki. He is pretty pathetic about these things. Here," she said resting the basket on her hip and offering a hand. "Let me help you up." The nearly naked Nabiki came groaning to her feet, rubbing her bruised head.

"Well, I intend to teach him a lesson he won't soon forget! Bad enough that he's been sleeping in my sister's bed, but to hide it from _me…_! That pig is not going anywhere."

"Nabiki, you don't mean to..."

Nabiki grinned through her pain. "Don't worry, sis. I won't castrate the dummy. But I'm going to make him wish I had."

P-chan awoke in a strange room. He looked around. It was definitely not Akane's room. There was a desk, a computer, a ledger... A ledger!

'Oh, no,' thought the cursed boy. 'Not...'

"Oh, hi, Mr. P," giggled Nabiki as she ducked through the door. "Finally awake I see." She was slightly more decent, in that she had pulled a T-shirt over her almost-there top. "I brought you something to eat."

She placed a plate on the floor and, locking her door, went over and sat down at the computer. P-chan sniffed at the food. There was something familiar about it.

"We decided that you need someone to keep an eye on you until Akane gets back." She looked at him from half-lidded eyes. "I... volunteered. I'm sure we'll have suchfun, P-chan."

P-chan grimaced. 'Of course! Now I remember!' He backed away retching. It was a pork bun; he was certain of it.

"You know, I thought of getting a preview, as it were, of your upcoming operation." She called up a website and selected a button. As it loaded, she picked up P-chan who was debating what to do about the offensive meal.

"Here, P-chan, look at this!"

P-chan squealed in fear at the explicit images and fainted.

Nabiki grinned wickedly. She had pulled up the images from a college lecture on the dissection of the pig. She hadn't thought he'd notice the source. With any luck, she'd keep knocking him out with pictures, right up until he was at the vet's office.

Payback is a bitch and she just might, in this case, be named Nabiki Tendo.

Akane spent an interesting time with Aunt Makiko. She heard about what her mother was like growing up and it did much to help her own self-image. Kimiko Sayobara had been a purebred, unashamed tomboy. Some of the stories she heard, about the girl who became her mother, had sounded a lot like the Nerima gang. Kimiko had transferred into the district from Nagasaki in the early 70's to become the center of Soun Tendo's life.

A martial artist herself, she had, thirty seconds after bumping into upperclassman Tendo, flattened him, called him a jerk and a pervert, and stormed off in a huff. Soun, for his part, called her that 'devil girl', 'testosterone junkie' and, to Akane's astonishment, 'un-cute'. They had led each other a merry chase, especially after their parents arranged for them to be wed. Both had been dragged snarling and griping to the omiai. As was customary, neither of them knew anything about who they were meeting, only why. Then they had to be retrieved kicking and screaming when they saw whom they were being paired up with.

Akane sat up straight in her chair and sipped tea to hide her manic expression. Aunt Makiko, a tall woman who reminded her in some ways, of an older version of Aunt Nodoka, rattled on gleefully, never noticing her glazed look.

"Oh, yes! They were a wild bunch. You never knew when that Happosai character would drag Soun and that Saotome boy off on some wild adventure. Kimiko despised the old fart! When he got wise to her ambush tactics, she'd make sure there was plenty of _sake_ around. Then, when he passed out, she'd hitch him to the late-train leaving town with a ten-meter chain. She claimed it was just long enough that way to introduce the Master to telephone poles along the route whenever the train turned corners. She would have loved to try that with the high-speed trains we have today, but it just wasn't convenient when they first started running."

"Ha-ha," Akane laughed weakly. 'Boy, listening to some of these stories makes me wonder if Dad was just pulling our legs. He and Mom make Ranma and I seem almost... _normal_.'

"Matter of fact, Soun got the pervert drunk at the bachelor party just before he and Kimiko got married. They chained him to the anchor of an American warship; a 'wedding present', Soun told her. Gave them nearly six months of peace till he got back." The older woman giggled, then leaned forward conspiratorially.

"Then there was that Amazon girl from China, Hei Ge' Li, or some such nonsense. We called her Gel. Anyway, she came here with her twin sister, looking for something the freak stole — panties, no doubt. And she ended up competing with your mother for Soun. What was worse was that she and Kimiko were best friends. When they got together, life was very dangerous for Happosai. Hee, hee! Of course, anytime the girls caught Soun or Genma doing his bidding, they got the same."

Amazon? Her dad had had Amazons after him? No wonder he was always yelling about this or that technique, when Cologne was pulling something. She'd have to apologize to him. She always thought he'd been spouting off to cover his ignorance. She'd also have to ask her father just how her mom had pried an Amazon away from him long enough to marry him.

"Oh, dear, there's the phone."

"I'll get it for you," Akane offered, jumping up. She zipped over and lifted the receiver by the third ring. "Moshi, moshi!"

"Oh, hello, Akane. This is Kasumi," came the reply.

"How's everyone at home, oneechan?"

"Fine, Akane. Nabiki was nice enough to take care of P-chan while you're gone."

"How much is that costing me?"

"Nothing, Akane. She said to consider it a small start on paying you back for the grief she caused at the wedding."

"Oh?" Akane considered, then shrugged. "How is P-chan?"

"Oh, I'm sure he's fine. Nabiki needed to do some studying anyway, so he is keeping her company up in her room."

"Good! I miss him, but I'm glad he's getting attention while I'm gone." Akane considered. "You know, Kasumi, if he and Nabiki get along, maybe she should just keep him. I mean he and Ranma don't... Is something wrong, Kasumi?"

On the other end, Kasumi was struggling desperatelyto not let a flood of laughter pour out. Nabiki could keep…? She tried to compose herself and failed. Nothing had ever cracked her facade this way in years! It must be the accumulating stress. And she couldn't even tell Akane! 'Oh, my! Think. Distract yourself. Deep even breaths...'

"Kasumi?" Akane was becoming concerned.

"Ummm..." Kasumi began with a rather high-pitched whine, "…uh, so what has Makiko told you about Mother?" she asked out of the blue.

Fortunately, it was just the right thing to ask. Makiko was telling Akane things she never offered Kasumi, probably because she thought the quiet girl would be shocked at how her parents had acted when they were younger. Makiko knew, both from Kasumi and her own inquiries, Akane was no shrinking violet and let her have both barrels, as it were. Interspersed with the cousin's voice in the background, Akane's recitation brought bright color to her oneechan's face, partly delight, partly astonishment and partly relief that she did not have to think about what Akane said earlier about P-chan and Na-Nabiki. A hysterical giggle escaped her lips, fortunately coinciding with a racy bit from the Makiko 'peanut gallery', who commented how she should have known any daughter of Soun and Kimiko wouldn't be a prude!

Nabiki sat in her chair at the computer. She was dressed normally for a change, having decided that too much direct exposure to live shows might coarsen Ryoga so much the effect would be lost. No, she had other plans, which, though they'd never see the light of day — nor monetary profit, drat it! — might be useful under the circumstances. She acquired, as editor of the school paper, a copy of a professional graphics-editing program and spent some time studying its tools and limitations. She also borrowed an expensive little toy, a full-page scanner the school newspaper was trying out. She dearly wished she'd had this equipment when Ranma had first arrived. You didn't need to be an artist to use it, either. If you had any sort of graphic image and a steady hand, reality was at your command.

She heard the faint 'bwee' of returning consciousness. It was time for the next step in the plan. She finished adjusting the images she had modified, saved the file and hit the print button. Impatiently, she waited for the sheet to print.

P-chan awoke slowly and quailed at the sound of the computer keyboard being used. 'The horror!' He opened his eyes a crack, just in time to see Nabiki take a page from the printer and skim it onto the bed, where he, as well as a number of similar pages, lay.

He watched her. She seemed unaware that he was awake. All he had to do was maneuver between those two pictures of Ranma and Akane, and she'd never hear him leave the bed. It even looked like her door was open a crack…!

Ranma and Akane's pictures? He looked again.

There, in living color, were Ranma and Akane posing together, dressed only in black leather that…(Gaak!) …using whips to…(Eeep!) …and Ranma was in girl form…"_Bw-wee-e-e_!" (Massive blood loss, stiffen like a board, faint!)

"You are too, too easy, P-chan," Nabiki said smirking. She patted the new full color scanner, gathered the scraps of one of Happosai's hentai magazines and separated them from the stock photos of Ranma and Akane that she kept for Kuno. With a hint of disgust, she dropped the former into the wastebasket and made a quick note to dump it before Kasumi came across them. Her older sister would be shocked.

"Hmmph! What garbage," she said to herself as she glanced over the remains in the bottom of the can. "Men have no imagination."

She turned back to her own efforts and chewed on her lip. The heads really didn't look like they belonged on the bodies. The skin tone was off and the lapping image 'ghosted' along the seam. She could do better. A gleam brightened her eye. She wondered what Kuno would be willing to pay, if she actually managed to make it convincing enough.

'No!' she restrained herself. 'Akane is family; thou shalt not besmirch.' The gleam returned then and she sighed. 'Still, still it was nice to dream… YEN, YEN, YEn, Yen, yen, yen, ye...'

Kuno Tatewaki swept through the movements of a kendo form. His head felt strange, or at least strange for him. It had been several weeks since his sister traveled overseas and the huge mansion was quiet. It was a relief not to hear her maniacal laughter echoing down the halls, nor worry about what had gone into the soup or coffee that evening. Perhaps, she would recover from her horrible obsession with his own chief tormentor? He certainly hoped so. Besides, had she ever managed to actually win the foul Saotome, he would have been obliged to treat him as a brother-in-… No, it could not be borne! Not even in speculation.

Dissatisfied, he paced to the archery range to test his skills there. He carefully chose half a dozen arrows and strung his bow. Stepping to his mark, he placed the arrows where he could reach them without hindrance and fixed his mind on the target. He selected his first arrow, caressed the feathers, then set the string to the notch. In a blur, arrow followed arrow as mind and body meshed. The third arrow left the string even as the first struck in the center of the target. As the last arrow was spent, Kuno let the wash of arrow flight and impact flow back over him and echo in the wooden hall.

A dark figure suddenly appeared before the distant target and Tatewaki smiled. Sasuke had returned. Perhaps he had news of his loves. A frown crossed his face as he thought of them. Akane Tendo, fiery, dark-haired, with flashing eyes and a brilliant smile that had, too infrequently, turned his way; and the pigtailed goddess, astonishingly red hair, the embodiment of energy, with fair skin to match her hair and a delightfully careless attitude concerning dress. According to his absent sister, she, too, was named Ranma Saotome, like the monster that held them captive. Ah! The horror of blessing such a name on one hand, yet cursing it on the other.

His frown became a grimace of pain as images flooded across his mind, confused, contradictory and unstable. Sasuke, sensing his master's distress, raced to his side. The scion of the house of Kuno waved him off and straightened once more.

"Report, Sasuke. What have you learned of Akane or the pigtailed goddess? Is there evidence that our interference has weakened _his_ grip upon my loves?

"Master, neither Ranma Saotome nor Akane Tendo are in residence at the Tendo compound..."

"_What_! Has he _stolen_ them both whilst I SLEPT?"

"No, no, Master! The vile Saotome left more than a week before Akane Tendo. My sources say another argument with Miss Tendo precipitated the act."

"And the fair Akane?"

"Gone to visit her cousin north of Tokyo, I am told. The argument upset her as well, and she went there in the hopes a change of scenery might soothe her heart."

"Would that she had turned to me, for I would soothe her even as she would be a balm to mine own!

"Indeed, Master."

What news of the pigtailed girl, then?"

"Vanished, as she always does when Saotome is absent."

Again Tatewaki purpled in rage and grimaced in pain. Something was wrong, but what? The intensity of his passion was off, his anger itself empty and stale. He found himself almost weeping in reaction and paled at this unmanly display.

"Sasuke, what is happening to me?" he gasped. He felt strong hands grasp him by the shoulders and lift him, then a shoulder beneath his arm.

"Everything will be all right, Master," the ninja soothed. "Since Mistress Kodachi went on her little trip, your body has been recovering from the substances she put daily in your food. Believe me, it could have been much worse. Fortunately, she never stuck with one type of hallucinogen or stimulant long. Your body is simply attempting to find its balance again after all these years."

Kodachi Kuno stood before the mirror in her suite in Honolulu. She was beginning to see what her demented sire, Koucho, saw in these quaint environs. Such an opportunity to show off her figure, too! She had a whole suitcase of daring bathing suits to bring back and model for her beloved Ranma-darling. Some were quite wicked, really, with snaps that could be opened, so... and allow access like that... 'Oh, Ranma-sama!'

How unfortunate these Americans could be so tiresome about a little gymnastics competition. Why, they had gone so far as to accuse her of cheating and had confined her to her quarters like a criminal. She was being informed even now by some minor official that she would be returning to Japan the next morning and would be escorted to her flight.

"Let me make myself clear, Miss Kodachi, you are strongly invited never to return to the U.S. or any of its territories."

She waved him away.

"That is quite acceptable to me, my good man. Now be gone, I must prepare for my return. I will capture my Ranma-sama at last! OHOHOHOHOHOHohohohohohoho!"

The official and the agency personnel shuddered and drew back through the doors. "What a fruitcake!"

"If she hadn't been the daughter of that industrialist and on a special waiver for that stupid competition, she'd be rotting in a jail for a while."

"Too bad."

"Too bad? For whom?"

"That Ranma guy she's cackling about." They hurried off.

Ranma felt the return to consciousness of his visitor, Barry, and waited with some irritation for him to become fully functional. Ranma was now male, having gotten a fire lit and water boiled. The sun seemed to be staying out for a change and he was making the most of it, stretching out clothing and the tent to dry on the rocks of the beach. Barry finally offered to help, then subsided in embarrassment.

'_Well, I would have helped you, if I had an extra pair of hands.'_

"Yeah, yeah," said Ranma skeptically. "Well, I guess it's karma or somethin'. Me and my pop were freeloaders for a long time."

'_So, I'm a freeloader, eh?'_ Barry glowered. _'What about the thing I found last night?'_

Ranma flinched and looked grimmer. "Look Barry, I'm... a little sensitive about my curse. Everybody seems ta think they can just push here and pull there, and then I hafta get away for a while. But I can't get away from you. I want ya to promise me, word of honor, that yer not going to mess with me like that, without my permission, while yer in there. Especially when I'm in my girl-form. It's not fair and, honestly, it scares the shit outa me. If ya'd been here, I woulda hurt ya for doin' what ya did."

Barry froze feeling the brunt of Ranm's distress. Faint images of Kuno, Mikado Happosai flitted across his consciousness. To Ranma, Barry was right on the verge of being filed in their category.

Had Barry been corporeal, he would have been shaking with shame. _'I'm sorry, Ranma,'_ he said_. 'I was tired and maybe I forgot I was a guest. I apologize. I can't promise not to do what I did again, because I'm not sure what I did. That's sort of what I'm getting at. I found out something about us and how we're sharing your body.'_

Ranma was silent. Barry fidgeted. It was so damn hard building trust when you were living in someone's back pocket. Invariably, you stepped on toes and someone snapped and you get too close to get out of the way. With Ranma's continued silence, he realized he had gone over the line and now had to back up, or be treated like any foreign object in a body: rejection, attack and destruction.

He wouldn't mind rejection, provided it was _e-jection_ back to his wife and son. But to be rejected as an enemy was not what he wanted. He had learned enough about Ranma by now that he was beginning to respect the spirit that had taken the pigtailed martial artist so far. Ranma was rough but fair and always helped others if they were in need.

Right now, Ranma was in need, though he'd never admit it. Barry felt a desire to try to help this young man if he could; during whatever time they had together in these weird circumstances. His thoughts broke off as Ranma lowered himself to sit on the ground.

"Okay, then. Wadja find out?" Ranma offered the olive branch. "What exactly didja do?"

Slowly, in painstaking detail, Barry described the vision he had while trying to sleep the night before. He went into greater detail about what he touched and how he found out they were involved with the various areas. He related faithfully even the embarrassing initial effort that had tipped him to the relationship of the trails of energy and Ranma's body. It was embarrassing, but he felt at this point necessary for future trust. He suggested that these lines had some analogy with the 'ki' Ranma had been talking about the other day.

Throughout the confession, Ranma returned to being as silent and unresponsive as stone. Barry was left sweating. After he finished, Ranma remained silent for ten minutes more, while Barry essentially stood at attention, awaiting sentencing.

"Yer right, I think. Yer messin' with my ki directly, somehow," Ranma said quietly. Barry flinched. He still couldn't read what Ranma was thinking. Then Ranma chuckled.

'What?'

"Your blocking technique works pretty well."

Barry felt he was gaping like a fish. _'B-b-blocking?'_

"Yeah, remember? Elevator music? Though I prefer Dragonball Z, thanks."

Barry metaphorically sagged. He had been sucker-punched; left to hang by Ranma as a test of a technique for personal privacy that Barry himself had suggested when they first met. He had used it to punish Barry for his inappropriate experimentation while Ranma slept. Barry flashed anger, then chagrin and finally, humor_. 'Am I forgiven then?'_ he asked very humbly.

"Yeah, yer forgiven. I don't know if I coulda slept through that snoring if it'd been someone else." He mused a moment. "I sure hope Akane doesn't snore. It'll be the pits!"

Barry was suddenly thinking very hard of a popular tune he knew, to avoid making a comment about what _that_ comment said about Ranma's fiancée problem.

"Let's look at this ki thing, though," Ranma continued. "I'm a specialist in martial arts ki attacks, so tell me what it's like from the inside. Maybe we'll learn somethin' new."

Barry agreed and concentrated on the glowing strands, as Ranma began to divert his ki to his hands in the first step of his special attack.

Ukyo Kuonji wandered, almost unaware of her surroundings. She couldn't remember when she had last eaten. She was only marginally aware of people who looked at her and backed away from the smell. "I'd love to take a bath, thank you, but where's the bathroom?" she muttered to herself. She vaguely remembered getting into a fight with a group of crude, sneering men, delighting in their yelps of pain as she had methodically beaten them. A smirking, pigtailed face had seemed to transpose over their grimacing features and she had turned and run in shame and fear and hopelessness.

Finally, she slumped against the base of a tree and tried to work out just where everything had begun to go wrong.


	6. Guest Ki: Intentions

**Guest Ki: Chapter 5**

_**Intentions**_

Nabiki subtly tormented P-chan with glimpses of her body, food that invariably had pork in it, hentai pictures and deliberate misdirection. At one point, he spent several hours attempting to climb the wall, because she convinced him that the works of an artist named Escher actually had some validity in the real world. He finally resorted to hiding deep under her bed and refusing to come out for any reason whatsoever. Give him a few years and he'd be able to chew through the wall.

'And if they come for me, I'll show them that I am a true martial artist despite the limits my curse places on me! I shall prevail! _Bwee_, hee, hee, hee, heh, heh...'

Soun Tendo had just returned from depositing the lost-boy's pack and umbrella near the vet's office. He groaned reflectively; the pack had weighed a ton. He had been half afraid that the umbrella was going to be a problem, being familiar with it in the past, but found it only slightly heavier than an ordinary bamboo one. Which was really odd. It had been much heavier when he retrieved it from the bushes in the back yard, hadn't it? Well, now he could sit back and let the girls handle it from here.

He watched Nabiki come lazily down the hall from the bathroom, wearing a robe and rubbing her hair with a towel. "Daughter, why a bath so late in the day?" asked Soun, looking up from his paper. "Isn't it time to take Ry— ah, P-chan to the vet's?"

"That's why I was taking a bath, Daddy," she huffed with a small, wicked smile. "I'm going to have to subdue him to get him into the carrier."

"Oh. All right, then."

He returned to his paper. After a moment the conversation sank in. His hands shook, an eyebrow twitched up toward his hairline. Why did Nabiki need a bath to catch P-chan? Didn't she normally dress while she was in the bathroom? The paper, held taut between the shaking hands of a martial artist, ripped right down the center seam.

"She wouldn't!"

Nabiki cautiously entered the room. She'd already gotten the pet carrier up during one of P-chan's naps. Now where was P-chan? Yup! Still under the bed. Oh, well, no time to waste. She dropped her robe.

"Pe-e-e-chan-n-n! Here piggy, piggy, piggy!" P-chan kept still.

He felt the increase in the intensity of the light as the sheets and blankets were lifted out of the way. It was almost time to make his break. He turned his head so he could tell when his captor and tormentor had both knees on the floor. As she ducked under the edge to search for him, she'd be at her greatest disadvantage. Then he'd charge...

Nabiki got down on her hands and knees and peered under the bed. She made sure P-chan got a good view. She felt slightly excited by the prospect, but didn't consider why. She told herself this was the ultimate revenge on the pervert boy that interfered in her sister's life for so long. Crouched by the bed, naked as the day she was born, water still beading on her skin, she let her breasts swing slightly as she husked out her chosen script: "C'mon, P-chan. Don't you... _want_ it?"

P-chan's eyes bulged and he went into neural shutdown. He never heard his own squeal of agony, never felt his body go on automatic and ram into the far wall, three times in succession, legs churning desperately like some wild wind-up toy. He collapsed in a heap, blood streaming from his nose.

Nabiki laughed. Teasing Ryoga was fun! She just might try for him, if he had any money. He was terribly cute with those fangs and green eyes. Being around Ranma and the whole insanity had pretty much cured her of any bigotry against the cursed. Besides, how much cold water do you run into in the bedroom, accidentally anyhow? Unfortunately, her sources said he didn't have money (or not enough), got lost all the time and the curse was apparently transferable to the spouse. She was not willing to become a homeless wanderer.

She reached under the bed, snagged him by the bandanna and deposited him in the pet carrier.

"Daddy? Kasumi? Got him! Be about five minutes."

Kasumi had returned to the house from bringing in laundry as her sister caught P-chan. She had heard the thumps and P-chan's squeals as he overloaded. She looked at Soun and his torn paper with concern.

"Ummm… Is everything all right, Father?"

"You don't want to know, daughter. You really don't want to know."

So, now the transformed martial artist was swaying back and forth in the pet carrier, 'bwee'-ing like mad in the hope that someone would take pity on him and rescue him from his fate-worse-than-death. There were tons of animal cruelty prevention leagues around; where were they when you needed them? ASPCA. PETA. Hell! He'd even settle for Azusa Shiratori right now! Being 'Charlotte' didn't sound half bad, under the circumstances.

He was making enough noise that Soun and Nabiki felt safe going over their plans one more time. "All right, Daddy," the latter whispered. "When we get to the door, you set the cage down facing toward the end of the block where you left his backpack and umbrella."

"Don't remind me, daughter." He turned to his eldest. "Are you ready to run around to the back door to make sure he doesn't get in?"

"Yes, Father," returned Kasumi. It was so sad that it had come to this, but perhaps Ryoga would learn from it. She hoped so.

"Good! I'll set the carrier down, facing the right way, and Nabiki," he turned toward their strategist, "are you certain that the door will spring open if you lean on the top of the hinge?"

"Of course I am," she said testily. The pig's squealing was beginning to grate on their nerves. Still, they were close to the market district, and enough people did bring live animals for sale that P-chan's noise was not out of place. "You just make sure he goes the right way." She winced as a particularly shrill squeal sent chalkboard thrills down her spine. "Let's just get on with it and go home."

They came to the vet's office and set the carrier down. Nabiki nonchalantly set one foot on top of the door hinge and waited for P-chan to throw himself against it.

Naturally, Ryoga chose that moment to go silent and still, deciding that, since he hadn't broken the carrier with his struggles yet, he'd conserve his remaining strength and make a break for it when they opened the cage door. Outside, three Tendos stared at each other with expressions of dismay, disbelief and disgruntlement.

Suddenly, a hard shock rocked the carrier and P-chan felt himself thrown forward and through the carrier door. He was _free-e-e-e_! He charged up the street, never looking back, and went straight past his pack and umbrella without a pause. He never saw them, only the open road and blue horizon ahead. _FREE-E-E-E-E_!

If he had glanced back he would have seen Nabiki and Soun staring at Kasumi with shocked looks, and Kasumi with a very uncharacteristic grimace on her face. She was standing on one foot, leaning against the wall. The pet carrier was nearly four meters away and would never again hold a small animal.

"Kasumi," breathed Soun, shocked at what she had done.

"Nice recovery, sis," grinned Nabiki. "Couldn't have done better, myself."

"A kick worthy of Akane, my dear," said Soun, relieved at the sudden solution to their problem. "I am so proud!"

"Well, I couldn't let Ryoga be ca-ca—! I mean he's such a nice boy when he's not being a pervert." She looked at Nabiki, flustered.

Nabiki laughed. "Dad, why don't you go get Ryoga's pack? I'm sure that, even if he never returns as P-chan, he'll still stop by to pick it up. I'll help Kasumi get home. I think she overdid it for her first Akane impersonation." She stroked her chin and added, "Maybe I can charge him storage fees."

Soun groaned and slouched up the street dejectedly.

* * *

Shampoo sat cross-legged on her bed at the Nekohanten. A frown marred her deceptively delicate beauty. Akane had, if not beaten her, certainly put her at a disadvantage. It was analogous to a general in battle taking another by surprise, then withdrawing, allowing the point to be made that they could have beaten their opponent. She couldn't even go to her grandmother for advice on this debacle. This was something she had to handle herself, and in a way that eliminated Akane without direct combat. She 'ticked' a fingernail against a tooth.

She would do it. She slid off her bed and called for Mousse. The latter was never very far.

"Mousse, Shampoo want you here. Now!"

""Coming, my love!"" came Mousse's reply in Mandarin.

""Mu Tsu, I need you to write a letter in hiragana for me.""

""A letter of challenge?"" Mousse asked in surprise.

""Dummy!"" she yelled, bopping him. ""What Amazon need of such things for outsiders?"" She controlled herself with an effort. ""Just write, Mousse. Let Shampoo worry why.""

""_It has come to my attention that a previously unknown member of the Jusenkyo-cursed is disrupting the harmony of the houses of Saotome and Tendo. This young man, Ryoga Hibiki by name, has as his cursed form a small black pig. He is often seen in the vicinity of the Tendo dojo. Perhaps, coincidentally, Akane Tendo has a pet, a small black pig, called P-chan. It should be investigated, as such a condition touches the honor of both houses._""

Mousse finished and looked up at his beloved.

""Whom should I address this to, Shampoo?""

She told him.

He blanched.

* * *

P-chan stumbled along through the rain. Cold, wet and miserable, he had been in pig-form for days. He fled the veterinarian's office only minutes before his scheduled appointment to be 'fixed'. He ran blindly ever since, the horror of what had been planned for him bringing the small animal instincts to the fore. At first, he'd been ecstatic, but then he wandered into the middle of the market district of Nerima. With a renewed sense of horror, he heard squealing and looked up to see a pair of live piglets in a ridiculously small wicker cage, waiting to be sold for, for...

"Hey, now, little piglet, looking for a home?" He whirled around to see the shop owner, holding out some food trying to coax him into reach. "Nice food for you. You hungry? Soo, soo, soo..."

P-chan bolted as if a lion were after him. Pretty soon, his high-speed trail meandered all over the marketplace, and he had all sorts of people after him, making bets as to who would catch him and how soon, and how he could be best prepared. His horror had returned full force, and his only recourse was to run and run and run and run...

He knew it was past midnight, but he pushed on, hoping he was putting more distance between himself and the Tendos, the Nerima market district and, maybe, the whole world. For all he knew, he might be running around in circles. He often did.

He staggered around a tree and briefly found shelter under a broad leaf plant. He giggled hysterically. As a human, he was known as Hibiki Ryoga and was one of the most formidable martial artists in Japan, possibly the world. As a pig… Well, mostly he was a light snack that was still mobile.

He wasn't paying attention to where he was going. Too much had happened in the past week. If he had not wrecked the linen closet in his first attempt to make himself scarce when the vet visit had been discussed, if Akane had not left for her cousin's house, if he hadn't bitten Mr. Tendo... His eyes glazed over, as he pondered the latest assessment of his miserable life.

It was Ranma's fault, of course. It had to be. It always was, ultimately. He had stolen the bread. He — or she — had knocked the lost-boy into the Jusenkyo pool of Drowned Black Piglet. He had stubbornly fought back when Ryoga had taken him to task and cost Akane her beautiful long hair... Ryoga ran down the list of woes that he attributed to Ranma. It was detailed and extensive. Ryoga had never forgotten or forgiven a grudge against his rival since junior high school. Finally, he came to the ultimate in his scores to settle — the relationship with Akane Tendo.

Ranma had stolen her love. That crass, perverted, fake-macho, fem-boy, dishonorable jerk had somehow stolen the love of Akane Tendo. With three other girls after him, that sneaky over-skilled bastard had to lead Akane on, the only girl Ryoga ever wanted. It had probably even been some plan of his that had resulted in Ryoga meeting Akari Unryu.

Ryoga admitted to himself that, had he been stronger, the distraction Akari provided would not have deterred him, but it had been so long since he had been accepted anywhere with out the constant fear of water's betrayal, cold or hot…

Now, poor Akari, as sweet and innocent a soul as Akane had ever been, was also suffering because of Ranma. She had set her hopes on Ryoga, the first man ever to defeat her prize sumo pig in battle. But the horror of his curse kept coming back to haunt him. On a pig farm, where the ultimate aim is the production and training of top-level sumo pigs, there are always those who don't measure up. Those who are only large pigs, injured pigs or throwbacks to the smaller pig-ancestors of the _sumo_ pigs, and are a drain on the meager resources available.

Most of the misfits, the Unryus sent alive to market, like those two piglets he'd seen. Transporting pork 'on the hoof' was more cost effective. Some though, went to feed the farmers who had raised them. He had made it through one such incident, watching Akari weep as she slaughtered a medium-size pig, dressed it and prepared it for the smokehouse. She looked into his eyes afterwards and watched him flinch... Her grandfather maintained she was just too feminine; she needed a strong hand, a young warrior like Ryoga around to steady her. Ryoga knew better. He had seen himself, over and over again in his dreams, caressed by those gentle loving hands until the knife came to nick his throat and hot tears fell like rain...

Anyone familiar with Ryoga would have recognized the twisting strands of power that coalesced into a glowing, green ball. The blast ripped away the side of a large tree and hurled the remnants laterally into another like a titanic spear. The recoil blew a small black form through the woods like a howitzer round.

Mercifully, he missed trees and heavy branches in his flight. He crashed to the ground and rolled for what seemed forever. He lay there as the long, cold hours of the night drew to a close and the downpour slackened to drizzle. As the sun transformed the darkness to the haze of dawn, he vaguely realized he was lying at the top of a cliff. Far below, mists and shadows shrouded the valley in mystery. It was horribly suggestive. Was it…Jusenkyo? Had he managed to stumble his way to the one place in the world where he might find a cure? He inched closer, his piggish eyes straining to make out details, hoping against hope for redemption. Under his hooves, dirt and rock crumbled and whispered unnoticed over the drop off.

'When pigs fly.' Ryoga had a brief epiphany as he tumbled over and over into the mists. He wondered briefly whether there was some _ki_ technique that would allow someone to fly. Right about now it'd be real handy!

(SPLOOSH!)

He surfaced and struck out strongly. A good swimmer — he almost always managed to take the longest route back to shore and drowning is _not_ a survival option — he struck out and hoped he'd find the Jusenkyo guide, or Plum, or someone who might recognize him. It took a long time, but finally he scrabbled ashore and shook himself. As he left the water's edge, he got a better view of the surroundings as the sun came up high enough to illuminate the valley. Then he sagged to the ground, legs splayed in utter disappointment.

Somewhere deep inside, he asked himself, 'Why so disappointed? So what if it's just a lake and not Jusenkyo. Why does it matter?' But it did matter. The world was a dark and lonely place. He told himself that often enough; full of disappointments, full of pain. What right had he to expect a change in plans?

He always had bad luck. Getting lost all the time. He'd seen his parents about a dozen times each in the last ten years. Only his dog had kept him in school till he met Ranma, and that last had been his worst luck of all. At least, until then, he had been the best martial artist of his age group. Now, he was just a pig!

Ryoga thought about getting up, but couldn't summon the will to make his legs do more than quiver. He was so tired. The sun rose higher, but somehow the rays did not warm him. He knew he should move; he was, after all, in an exposed position. Small animals that did not take precautions become menu items. He lay dully, one part of himself not caring, the other part indifferent, waiting.

Where his body was in contact with the pebbled beach, he could feel faint vibrations through the earth. Wherever he was, it was inhabited by something large and active. Idly, he analyzed what his senses were telling him and recognized the vibrations as the foot impacts of a two-legged creature. They were not close, but weren't too far away, either. He considered getting up and investigating but was vetoed thoroughly by his rebellious muscles. A shadow passed over him.

A big crow suddenly dropped into view and cocked its head at him. P-chan watched dully as it hopped cautiously forward. He remembered when he had been searching for Ranma; he had come across a recent victim of vehicular traffic on a road far to the north. The rabbit had been lying there, staring sightlessly at the sky when an alert crow, much like this one, swooped down to land beside the carcass and pluck out the eye. Ryoga felt a shudder shake the frame of his cursed form, and watched the crow jump back with a squawk. After a moment though, it moved in again. Nothing would stop it this time.

* * *

Ranma sat in a relaxed, lotus position, controlling his breathing and demonstrating the connection between breathing and the production of ki and tried to achieve his center. He and Barry had been exploring the ki lines of his body and seeing how they reacted to various emotional states. Ranma had been getting rather wistful at Barry's descriptions of 'endless gleaming threads' and 'shimmering sheets of light'. "I wish I could see this stuff," he muttered.

'_Why can't you?'_ asked Barry from within.

"Gaah!" Ranma made a disgusted sound. "How can I look in my body?" he said finally. "Ya gotta admit, it'd be nice, though. Look how far we've come with you tellin' me what's goin' on in there."

'_So, come on in!'_ Barry suggested. _'We've switched back and forth, before.'_

"It can't be that easy," growled Ranma. "Nothin' is ever that easy." They exchanged places and Ranma shifted about trying to see his ki. 'What'd I tell ya?'

"How'd you ever get to be a martial artist, huh?" sneered Barry. "You're giving up?" He felt Ranma shift inside.

'No, I'm not giving up!' sneered Ranma back. 'Stupid, lousy gaijin know-it-all…'

"I worked it out trying to get to sleep… Maybe that'll work for you," suggested Barry after a moment. He got a snort from his host. "Okay, what about the meditating you do to aid in concentration?"

'That might work,' Ranma allowed. 'But you'll hafta be the one meditating. I'll hafta work inside and find out what happens.'

"Sounds easy enough."

'Says the guy who can't punch using a perfectly well-trained body…'

"Are we going to do this, or are you going to make smart remarks all morning?" They heard a faint roll of thunder. "We better do it quick if that's more weather moving through." Barry tried to move himself into the proper position.

'No, no!' Ranma scolded. 'Don't force it. _Be_ it! It's the same thing with the punching. Yer tryin' too hard! Just… let… it… flow.'

"Blah, blah…" Barry relaxed his controls until they were feather-light. Ranma's body assumed a more relaxed posture. His breathing deepened; flowing in through the nose, down into the lungs, expanding the abdomen but not the chest, then back out through the mouth. It reminded Barry of six years of singing lessons, when he was younger. "Okay, now what?"

'How should I know?' Ranma complained and added a bit jealously, 'Yer the one who does this!'

"All right then," Barry considered. He located Ranma's awareness up behind his right eye. "By the way, why are you up there?"

'Up where?'

They eventually determined that the individual out of control tended to drift toward whatever sensation was most critical at the moment. In humans, that normally is sight, and Barry had his eyes open. After some experimentation, they settled down again. After a few minutes…

"You're there," Barry sub-vocalized. "How did you get there so quickly after all this trouble?"

'We didn't eat breakfast this morning. I'm starved!' Ranma complained. Their joint stomach growled mightily. 'Ya know, yer not quite in the right place, aura-wise.'

"You can see it?" Barry exclaimed, his unspoken excitement blasting at Ranma. He winced when Ranma shuddered.

'Yeah, sorta. I just can't figure out what's what. It's disorienting.' Ranma seemed to explore a bit.

"Maybe I should get some water?" Barry suggested. "I started noticing this stuff when you were changing back and forth."

'Okay. Get some water, then.' Ranma waited expectantly.

Barry sat still a moment, trying to decide whether he could find the thermoses without tripping over their meager fire. Finally, he shrugged and opened his eyes.

The sun was just tipping over the top of the cliffs, filling the valley with swirling sheets of glowing mist. It was beautiful and Barry couldn't help pausing to take in the sight. Then Ranma's body shuddered and jerked.

'All right!' Ranma exulted. 'I got it! I just needed to have a reference point! I can see the ki!' Barry danced in glee at the news, swinging around as Ranma experimented with his new talent. 'It looks like mist! And it's glowing!'

Barry stopped dancing. "Uhhh… That is mist and it IS glowing, Ranma. The sun just came up.

Ranma digested that. 'Hell!' he sulked.

"Oh, well. Let's get some breakfast, a workout and a bath," suggested Barry.

"Yeah. Let's…" Ranma said as he took over again. Damn! He could have sworn…

* * *

Ryoga watched as the heavy chisel-like beak moved closer. He felt strangely detached and perversely curious as to how it would feel to lose his eye. He thought suddenly of a myth he had heard someplace, where a god had sacrificed an eye to gain wisdom, Woden, or someone like that. He watched the crow take another low hop. One more would bring it close enough to strike. He wondered if somehow this act would change his life or conclude it. The crow leaned forward to hop that last time.

"Hey! Get away from him, ya jerk!"

A rock whistled close, clipping his ear and rebounding right in front of the startled crow. With angry caws, it retreated and took flight. Ryoga's focus broadened again and he realized that the vibrations he had felt earlier had been coming closer and now clearly resolved into running feet.

"Kamisama, Ryoga! How did youget out here?" Then warm hands were scooping up his chilled porcine body.

He wondered briefly who it was. He was certain it wasn't Akari, and everyone else called him P-chan when he was like this. Then the hands shifted to hold him close, almost burning him with their heat. He suddenly realized he was being pressed to twin globes of mammalian origin by those hands, realized where he was...

...And fainted with mild blood loss.

Ranma snorted. Yup! Ryoga, all right. Good thing she had come down to bathe in time to see the crow swoop in. If Barry hadn't been so bloody curious to see what the crow had been interested in…

She shook her head and re-arranged her shirtfront to maximize the heat Ryoga was getting. Internally, Barry was saying something about shock and exposure, but what the hell, Ryoga had seen her this way before, and he was too cold. Turning, she sprinted back to camp to tuck the piglet into her bedding until she could poke up the fire and boil some extra water.

An hour later, Ranma considered Ryoga in the late afternoon light. The lost-boy looked truly lost indeed. He had a dull, uncomprehending look to his eyes and his color was bad. He was totally unresponsive to questions and just barely allowed Ranma to guide him into a spare set of clothing. He huddled close to the fire and shivered from time to time. Ranma had never seen Ryoga look this bad, but he could guess why. Akane must have discovered the truth about P-chan. He patted his friend on the shoulder.

"C'mon, man. Ya knew it had ta end sometime." Ryoga did not react.

"Ryoga, ain't none of us safe from water, hot or cold, while we got the curse. What say you and I head off and try to get ta Jusenkyo again?" Still, there was no response. "Hey, man, it's just as well ya came along. I gotta problem and I need a good, tough martial artist like yerself ta help me out." Ryoga sneezed, which startled Ranma, but otherwise was still.

"Ryoga, I just wanna warn ya," Ranma moved into a position that would allow him to move like lightning away from the lost-boy. "Akane's due here in a couple of days. Now, I ain't plannin' nothin' perverted, ya understand, but I had ta get her out of Nerima while I work on her skills. Shampoo's gonna get annoyed one of these days, and she'll eat Akane alive if she ain't better." Ryoga glanced at Ranma, but remained still as stone otherwise.

'_Be careful, Ranma,'_ Barry advised. _'I've heard of folks going 'postal' when they're like this.' _

'Postal?'

'_Berserk, killing everyone within reach, just to punish the world for their pain.'_

Ranma shivered. It sounded like something Ryoga just might do. He swallowed. He had to snap his friend out of his funk before Akane arrived. He couldn't put up with the threat Ryoga represented in his present state. Alternatively, if Akane saw him, knowing P-chan's secret, she'd probably pummel them both into thin paste. This was developing into a bad situation. Thunder rumbled as clouds began to roll back in.

All right, a worse situation.

Ranma started the next morning much the same way they had ended the previous evening. She had set up Ryoga in the tent, trying to keep him warm and dry, and managed to create a crude fireplace, courtesy of Barry who had built one before. She tried to bully Ryoga into helping, but he continued to be introverted and nearly unreachable.

Though it had taken all day, she felt it was worth the effort. With a little adjustment and the use of native materials, the two-man tent was expanded to a comfortable and dry lean-to, with an attached stove/heat source.

Over Barry's objections, Ranma had even attempted a semi-striptease to try to get some reaction out of him. She was going to bathe anyway, following the afternoon workout, and acted on the spur of the moment. Ryoga looked on with a glazed expression for a few seconds before simply dropping his eyes to the ground. No reaction... No gushing blood... Nothing. Ranma huffed, irritated.

"Hey, pig-boy! _Look_ at me! I don't show off my tits fer just anyone, ya know!"

'_Ranma! Why do you need to show off your tits at all?'_ Barry seemed upset for some reason. Ranma snorted at the visitor and her friend, and stalked off to the lake.

"Figured the embarrassment might snap him out of it. I've drawn blood that way," she added proudly.

'_I'm sure you have,'_ came the dry reply. _'I really can't figure you out. Isn't this the guy who's trying to take advantage of your fiancée?'_

"Well…"

'_Are you certain you're not competing in some way, on some level, with Akane for him?'_ Barry asked suspiciously_. 'Trust me, you don't want to go there!'_

"I'm a guy, dammit!"

'_The change is complete and absolute, Ranma. Everything, down to the hormone balances and the fine brain structure, even a womb, for God's sake. It all has to change, too, to survive the change.' _

'I'm a _guy_, Barry!' Ranma insisted. 'Ryoga's a pain, but he's a friend, too. I hate to see him like this.'

'_Yeah, whatever! Maybe I'm over-reacting, but I could have sworn you were getting some jollies out of doing that. Sorry, I've never experienced the female body first-hand like this, and it's unsettling.'_

'Tell me about it!' Ranma finished her bath and rapidly toweled herself dry. Ryoga was a problem that she couldn't dismiss. In her mind, he was a serious threat unless they could somehow break him out of this funk. If he suddenly did a depression blast, all that would be left of the island would be a deep hole under the water. Not a pleasant thought.

Eventually, Ranma changed back to boy-type and continued Barry's training, always watching in case Ryoga showed signs of freaking or becoming aware. He coaxed Ryoga to eat that evening, curling up afterwards in his sleeping bag under a clear sky.

Suddenly, as he watched a falling star, he froze and held his breath, mind racing.

"_Yes_!" Ranma did a jig by the stream and around the banked fire. 'Ryoga and I are martial artists, first, last and always,' he informed Barry. 'Ta catch a martial artist, do martial arts!'

'_The new ki techniques?'_

'Yup!'

Ranma and Barry had experimented with Ranma's ki technique, the Mouko Takabisha, while Barry observed the lines of force that ran through Ranma's body. With Barry's unique observational angle, they worked out a half dozen new techniques using ki, some subtle, some spectacular, including the development of what Ranma called 'ki-vision'. Ranma planned to catch the lost-boy's attention right where they were both the most competitive.

Early the next morning, he began with warm-ups and standard kata and then began the basic Mouko Takabisha Ryoga was familiar with. To Ranma's observant eye, Ryoga was paying more attention than he had the last few days. Then they pushed the power up to interesting levels. Ryoga was treated to a Mouko Takabisha that screamed off into the sky with the energy of a large bomb. When Ranma detonated it, 150 meters up, the blast sent waves across the lake you could surf on. Ranma smirked, as Ryoga's jaw hung open. It was easily as powerful as Ryoga's Shishi Houkudan but without the exhaustion the lost-boy experienced as a side effect.

Next, Ranma brought his hands together, as if starting another Mouko Takabisha, and compressed the glowing ball almost to a pinpoint. Snapping his hands apart, Ranma suddenly held a sword made entirely of energy, the Katana Chikara. He concentrated and suddenly had two blades. As he maneuvered through the standard forms of Mutsabetsu Kakuto: Saotome School of Two Swords, he occasionally flicked the blade at rocks and small trees around the clearing. Spinning blades would streak off, which chipped and splintered the boulders, but shredded the small trees. Solid strikes did the same.

Experimenting further, Ranma snapped his 'sword' like a whip, which caused it to stretch and create steaming little holes in anything less dense than stone. Stone pocked with sharp explosions. This was not exactly as expected or desired; and the ki research team of Ranma Saotome and Barry Barlowe went into action.

Certain restraints were tightened then relaxed, as the performance of the blade of energy was evaluated. It broadened, but thinned again; the color changed from searing blue to a soft green. Finally, it lengthened and the motion of wrist and arm spun the filament out in a long spiral. Ranma discarded a blade and switched from kendo forms to martial arts rhythmic gymnastics.

The ki-ribbon spun and swirled. It sliced like the sword at first, but additional modifications allowed it to interact without destruction. Ranma's first attempt to grab a rock with it went badly, pulsing energy into the rock and shattering it. Several other rocks met a similar fate; then an internal consultation allowed them to use the ribbon as a communication line, to convince the target to move in the chosen direction, using the ki inherent to the object.

Gasping, overextended by the workout, Ranma released the ki and stumbled back, only to be caught and steadied by an awe-struck Ryoga.

"How the hell did you do that, Ranma?" the lost-boy demanded, astonished, definitely jealous and obviously determined to match his rival as soon as he had the chance. Ranma grinned from ear to ear.

"Welcome back, Ryoga. I think I'll call that one: Ribon o Tsukéru. Let me take a breather and I'll explain."

Toward lunchtime, Barry agreed with Ranma that Ryoga had a thick skull.

"Right, Ranma," the latter said, in obvious disbelief. "One: You have a little gaijin running around in your skull who's helping you learn ki attacks, even though he's never heard of ki before." He smirked. "Two: He grabs total control of your skills and is ready to attack Nabiki, who's being a pain as usual. Three: You come out here to figure out how to put a leash on him." Ryoga's smirk grew larger. "Well, I shouldn't be too surprised. After all, there's enough empty space up there for it to be possible."

"Grrr!"

'_Down, boy!' _

'But...'

'_Let me take this one,'_ returned Barry_. 'I think I can convince him.'_

"Ryoga, I understand you are something of a traveler."

"Is this supposed to be 'Barry', Ranma? How can a gaijin speak better Japanese than you do?"

""Would you prefer better English than Ranma is _capable_ of, Mr. Hibiki? That is my native tongue, after all.""

""Th-th-that is very good,"" stuttered Ryoga in the same language. ""Where did you learn English?""

""It's called Steel City in this universe, Mr. Hibiki, located in the northeast United States of America. Fortunately for Ranma, I don't seem to be of this world. I might be dragging him off overseas to let my wife know what happened, otherwise.""

Ryoga was sweating. It was just barely possible that Ranma might, for a joke, manage to improve his English in order to play some trick on him. "Do you know any other languages?"

"A little German and some Spanish, or if you like, 'Ich versteht Deutsche nicht sehr gut; aber, Yo comprendo Español un poco!"

Ryoga sat back stunned. He could get by in about twenty different languages and dialects, most from the Pacific Rim, including German, Spanish, Portuguese and English. He knew Ranma was uninterested in that facet of knowledge, and would be lucky if his attempt to ask for directions, in any language other than Japanese, didn't result in a coarse insult being delivered instead. This Ranma's English had been excellent, but had a twist that indicated regional origins, as opposed to classic diction. His German and Spanish held hints of the original accent of the spoken English, and carried the mark of schooled accents as well.

"How do you speak Japanese so well?"

"I speak through Ranma, a little like hearing what to say and speaking it, even though I don't understand if the sentence is exactly what I meant."

"But Ranma's Japanese stinks!"

"What can I say? He's lazy, and he never did give any respect to anyone. Did you ever consider that he's deliberatelyrude, rather than accidentally so?" Barry turned control back to Ranma.

"Tell me next time before ya give my secrets away, dammit!" Ryoga glared at Ranma as he spoke out loud to his guest. "Face it, Ryoga, I spend most of my time keeping everybody at arm's length and off balance." He stared defiantly at the lost-boy.

Ryoga's glare slowly died to be replaced by something akin to pity. "And I thought I was alone..."

"I don't want or need your pity, bacon bits!"

"No, you need a swift kick in the butt, Ranma!"

"Think you're up to it, pork chop?"

"Let's find out," Ryoga said with a gleam of fang. "_Eat leather_, _Ranma_!" From a sitting position, Ryoga's foot snapped out in a rising kick designed to plant a print across Ranma's face.

Ranma mentally sat back and said to Barry, 'You're on!'

'_What_!' Barry dodged, in his panic, snatching up the reins and using Ranma's speed and skill to launch the foot high and the momentum gained to begin an attack against Ryoga's exposed back. Ranma, now as able as Barry to see the auras acting within their common body, tweaked ki to reduce what could have been a devastating blow.

Ryoga turned slightly and the blow glanced off a hip instead of impacting solidly on the unprotected kidneys. Ryoga had already begun a rising leap and casually threw a backhand at Ranma to test a reaction. The look on his face told Barry that Ryoga was well aware whom he was really sparring with. Barry gulped and started trying to extrapolate counters more than a few milliseconds in advance, while somewhere in the back of his head an unconcerned voice soothingly encouraged him.

"That's it, Barry! Watch him close; he likes to drive straight through. Pity he doesn't have his umbrella with him, it makes things much more interesting. Now, watch those bandannas. _Watch it_! That's my hide yer letting him mess up."

It wouldn't have been so bad, if Ranma had not presented an image of himself, or rather _herself_ in a bikini on a beach, calmly enjoying a sticky looking ice cream confection while fanning herself with a sun hat.

'Jerk!' Barry mentally yelled, as he gained a moment's respite. "_Wuff_!" Well, he thought he had.

"Now, now! Keep yer mind on business, I always say. Remember, what hurts me, hurts you."

Much later, as the sun dipped behind the trees, two very tired young men recovered after a battle, a bath and some hot water. They traded insults, news and criticisms of Barry's fighting adaptations. One thing Ranma inquired about during this was why Ryoga was out here and in the condition he was in.

Ryoga was adamant.

"I don't want to talk about it, Ranma. Let's just say I can never go back to being P-chan. I don't even dare go back to Nerima, in case I turn into P-chan! You've won; I've lost. But if you dare hurt Akane with your womanizing ways, I'll hunt you to the depths of hell, if I have to!" Finishing, he glared at Ranma, daring him to push further.

"Ummm… Right." Ranma looked at the ground. "Speakin' of the tomboy, do you remember me sayin' Akane's supposed ta meet me out here in a few days?"

"_What_!" Ryoga acted like his flesh was about to peel off his bones. His fighting aura broke out as he came up on his toes, prepared to deal Ranma a terrible fate.

"Whoa, P-chan! Ya think I'da told ya, if I planned anythin' perverted? Slow down! I don't wanna hafta get cleaned off again."

Ryoga slowed to a stop and stood there, fists clenching and unclenching.

"Look, pig-breath, Akane's greatest danger, aside from assorted kidnappings..."

"Which are your fault mostly," Ryoga injected, darkly.

"...Is Shampoo and Cologne. If they ever decide I'm choosin' her, they just might try ta kill her and, with the training she's got, she won't stand a chance." He glared at Ryoga, who shrugged. "I figure she can stand some trainin'. I just can't hit her. I know youwon't; so I figure, Barry's elected."

'_What!' _Barry hadn't expected this from Ranma._ 'Dammit, Ranma! I rue the day I taught you about elevator music.'_

"I don't see what difference it makes, if it's your body that hits her," Ryoga scowled and rubbed the back of his head. "Besides, Akane's very good, even compared to the average professional. Barry's a total amateur!" He smacked his hands together like a thunderclap. "I don't like it."

"Well, it's a good thing you're here and we've got a few days. You can help me work Barry until we're satisfied he'll do it right. In return, we'll see what we can do ta show ya a few new _ki_ tricks."

Two figures made ready for bed while a third, unseen being silently cursed and objected to the role that was being forced on him. His objection was unheard on one hand and ignored on the other. Ryoga, out of habit, slept in the shelter, too paranoid at the helplessness of his curse to chance sleeping outside. Ranma didn't care if he changed, and set up where he could watch the night stars.

"It's a good plan," he told Barry in an effort to silence the complaints. "In a few days we'll be set." Finally peace descended, and sleep claimed weary muscles.

Too bad they didn't _have_ a few days.


	7. Guest Ki: A Hard Days Night

**Guest Ki: Chapter 6**

_**A Hard Day's Night**_

"So you're going back home, dear?" Makiko took Akane's hands in her own with ready warmth. "I thought you'd be with me a few more days."

"Hai, Aunt Makiko," Akane answered, embarrassed. "I need to go on a training trip. I ama martial artist and I have some things I have to work out. I hope, though, that I may return?"

"Of course, dear. Well now, let me get you some supplies to take on your journey. Where are you headed?" As Akane provided vague answers about her destination, Makiko started to put a pack together for her.

Earlier in the week, Akane, the dundercook, had struck again, fortunately doing little damage to her hostess' kitchen but producing an inedible mess. Makiko had gracefully taken over the cooking after that, and had ignored the incident — until now. She hoped the girl had enough sense not to try cooking if she had something ready-made on hand. If Akane intended to train out in the open, as her father and his friend, Genma, had done, Makiko was afraid she would end up starving to death or worse. Not that Akane was unable to acquire food, only in that, in preparing it, she might poison herself. Makiko had secretly called Kasumi to determine the best way she could help the girl without giving offense. It was the least she could do for Soun and Kimiko's youngest.

Akane ended up with about twenty kilograms of foodstuffs in a pack that Aunt Makiko pressed on her. Kasumi had assured her that Akane could manage the weight. "When you're finished, just mail it back or come for another visit. And bring that fiancé of yours next time!"

Akane left around 10:00 A.M. on Tuesday. This was done to give her the best chance against her possible competitors. She kept a close watch for individuals that seemed to be going in her direction for extended periods of time. Logically, only Shampoo or Ukyo were likely opponents in this case, as Kodachi was supposed to be out of the country.

If it was Ukyo, she was up against someone who was street-smart and a better martial artist, if she had her weapons. Without the big battle spatula however, Akane believed she could take the okonomiyaki chef. Ukyo was excellent with disguises and could pass as a man or woman at need. In a pinch though, a disguise should further restrict Ukyo, as it would limit how many of the small shuriken-spats she could carry.

Shampoo was still the main worry; she was better than anyone else in the Nerima crowd, except Ranma and Ryoga. Also, she had far more reason than anyone to damage or even kill her rival; Akane had no doubt about her obstacle rating in Shampoo's books. Hopefully, Cologne had better sense than to let Shampoo attack her, or to participate in such an attack. Yet, her hopes of acquiring 'Son-in-law' must be wearing thin. If she put Akane in her sights, even Ranma would find it hard to stop her. Both Amazons were past masters at tracking and inhumanly fast on the trail. However, Akane thought she might have a counter for them, provided she made it to her first stop.

She kept the first part of her trip, a hike of about sixteen kilometers, tied to a fairly busy road with numerous people. She used the busy thoroughfares as trail breaks and doubled back several times to watch for pursuit. It was a bit quieter than normal due to the rain and she never saw sign of any pursuers. Finally, she stopped at an inexpensive hostel for the night. Except for the minor diversion of a local pervert who tried to hit on her, she was undisturbed. Rolling the futon provided out on the floor, she set obvious water traps everywhere.

She put one last special trap in her futon. It was an inflatable bolster, a long tubular pillow. First, she turned out the lights and made obvious preparations for sleep. Then she carefully filled the bolster three-quarters full with cold water. Using a hand pump, she pressurized the thing to nearly bursting. Draped with a sheet and quilt, it presented a reasonable facsimile of a sleeping body.

Around the futon, she gently looped a wire from a thirty-meter extension cord, from which the insulation had been stripped. At one end, the plug and a few inches of insulation were still attached. Making sure that the wires did not cross, she plugged it in. Now the room was a trap of water and electricity. She hoped any intruders would be 'shocked' by what they found. She crossed quickly, keeping low, to the closet, which normally stored the rolled up bedding. Curling into a corner, she found sleep to be an easy target.

She was almost disappointed when her careful preparations were undisturbed the next day.

The second leg of the journey began at 6:00 A.M. She carefully disarmed her traps. Having paid up-front to avoid checkout difficulties, and having checked to make sure the pervert who had accosted her the night before had made it out of the trash bin, she set off again. This leg would have three stages of approximately ten kilometers each. The last would bring her to the shore of the lake.

She thought she would have some more trouble about halfway through the second stage of her journey, but the group of charcoal makers merely shouted appreciative, if vulgar, comments at her and left her alone.

When she dropped her pack at the shore of the lake, the sun was dropping below the trees. The water was cold, but calm and the island was quite visible. The waterfall was at the far end of the small island from her, but could still be seen in the fading light.

Akane swam like a lead brick and she knew it, but Ranma's offhand remark about 'hauling her over to the island' like some inanimate lump of meat rankled. She sniffed as she unpacked the life jacket. She was more than buoyant enough with it to get across the lake. She'd show that baka. She had planned to arrive early so she could spy on him and find out what he was up to. As a bonus, the look on his face when she sauntered into camp would be priceless. So he still thought she was just a stupid girl, hmmm? She'd have to hurry, though. It was unseasonably cold in the mountains with the rain marching through; and the water was straight off the ice cap.

She took a light rope and hurled the end over a tall tree limb. Tying the other end to her supplies, she hauled the package up about four meters, more than enough to keep it away from animals. Ranma could come back and get it for her later. Her clothing she tied in a compact bundle that she planned to balance on her head.

She had forgotten that she had not tried carrying anything like this when she had last worn the vest. She kept tipping over and the water wasn't just cold, it was _freezing_! Too stubborn to acknowledge defeat, she pushed on until she lost everything but her blouse and undergarments, which were soaked. By the time she made it to the island, Akane was numb. After an hour in the water, what started as stubbornness, had descended to exhaustion as she wove the last fifty meters of lake, walking on and between slimy, treacherous rocks in the dark. Peering miserably about, she noted the light of a fire closer to the falls and the cliff and stumbled toward it, wringing out her things as she went.

The rocks bruised even her callused feet, softened as they were by the water. Twice she had to retrace her steps where the boulders were too tall and precipitous to manage in the dark. Finally, after stumbling through the woods and getting hung up by the life jacket she'd kept on till that moment in an attempt at modesty, she found the camp.

The fire burned low, but she could see the lone figure on the ground beside it. She stumbled up and dropped to her knees beside the sleeping bag, shivering, not caring that she was wearing less than the day Ranma had seen her in the bath.

"R-r-r-r-ran-m-m-ma!" she whispered. "C-c-c-c-cold! Cold!" She reached out to shake him.

Ranma was dreaming that damn salad dream again and the mallet had just started down. When Akane shook him, he opened his eyes with a start and blearily took in her form lit only by starlight. "Mmmmne?" Well, this was a bit different. Maybe he was finally getting that stupid dream away from pummeling.

Barry vaguely heard the word cold. This was a trigger word for him, enforced by a decade in the marriage bed. Gwen saying 'cold' meant it was time to be the 'Arm-Strong Heater'. His wife often stayed up later than he did, reading before coming to bed. Her skin was usually icy when she did, so her husband provided the warm side of the bed and a pair of warm arms to take off the chill. Barry dreamed of his home, his bed and his wife, and flung open his arms.

Ranma was debating the unexpected sight of Akane shivering in the dark. He felt the subtle pressure from Barry's dream to offer warmth and contact. It felt like a good idea, certainly better than a mallet, so he sleepily opened up the side of the sleeping bag and held out his arms.

Akane wasn't going to argue. After a strategically planned, successfully executed and extremely satisfying trip here, she had nearly gotten herself drowned, frozen to death and lost in the woods. Ranma had been, during this past year, her final anchor and safety. He offered comfort; she'd take it! She rolled into the sleeping bag and tucked herself up against Ranma's warm body, shaking like a leaf in a hard wind.

This almost woke Ranma up. He wasn't used to ice cubes joining him in bed — unless his dad had a particularly nasty training strategy in mind — and Akane was _cold!_ Yet from the link he shared now with Barry, the reassurance that this was correct and expected filtered through. One arm passed under her body, coming to rest between her breasts and tucked over a shoulder, the hand caressing her cheek. Consequently, her back was pressed to his warm chest. The other crossed her waist, pressing her lower body against his, allowing him to rest the length of his legs behind hers. The top of his feet rested under the soles of hers, bringing additional warmth.

To the freezing girl this was _heaven_. Slowly her shuddering grew less, and thoughts of borrowing clothing and spare blankets were replaced by exhausted sleep and contented warmth.

Ranma dreamed of a time forgotten consciously, when a small child held a well-loved stuffed animal and his mother kissed him goodnight.

Barry dreamed of being _home_.

* * *

Nodoka smiled passively as she set dishes before her husband and the family to whom her son was honor-bound. She had chosen to prepare dinner tonight, partly to relieve Kasumi, whom she felt was much imposed upon by the rest of the family and in part because she needed to think about a problem that had arisen earlier in the day.

She still carried the Saotome katana with her wherever she went, which made for an exceedingly nervous Genma. Everyone had their own ideas about whether Nodoka would change her mind and call her husband and son to book over the seppuku agreement. These were based on their knowledge of Nodoka and her views, as well as their own personal outlooks and the weird slant everything in Nerima seemed to take on with respect to Ranma.

Soun flip-flopped. If asked, on any given day, he might confidently express his belief that Ranma's manhood was more than satisfactory in anyone's eyes. That usually lasted until Ranma found cold water or vice versa.

Genma's confidence was always high — in his wife's absence. All it took was the sight of the Saotome katana in its silk wrapping to drop his heart to his feet.

Nabiki was certain it would end in almost-disaster. She figured they would eventually go through a series of 'almost seppuku' scenarios, as Ranma would encounter problems that shook Nodoka's perceptions. She wished the insurance companies would pay off in these matters, though. If they did, she knew where she could get a huge policy for life insurance.

Kasumi had confidence in Nodoka's motherly instincts. She did not believe that Nodoka had ever planned on enforcing the agreement.

Akane, absent at this gathering, was basically a pessimist. She truly liked Nodoka and treated her with the all respect due her future mother-in-law. Reference to the seppuku issue in regard to Ranma's manhood, though, would usually leave her pale and angry.

Nodoka, of course, kept her own counsel. She held to odd, stereotypical behaviors she associated with manliness. That Nodoka was actually pleased Ranma had seen Akane naked a few times seemed obvious. That he had three other girls actively pursuing him was also acceptable. The damage they caused was not, but a threat to ostracize the guilty from competition for Ranma brought promises to repair damages from most of the participants.

Nodoka assured herself that everyone had been served, and gracefully seated herself, a seductively sinuous movement that brought the blood rushing to Genma's face to her momentary amusement. It was always nice to know one still had the gift and knew how to inspire a husband's devotion without gross displays of limbs or body. Devotion, unfortunately, was as much as she was willing to receive at the moment.

If only she didn't keep finding more idiocies to punish him for. At the rate things were going, she might be as wrinkled as that Chinese girl's great-grandmother before she was satisfied that he had learned his lesson.

She nodded though and smiled in response to the compliments that the diners offered. This dish had been one of Ranma's favorites. Unfortunately, he was not here to enjoy it. Neither was his fiancée, Akane. Hmmm… Perhaps he had managed to get them both out of the two men's reach for some 'manly' time. Still, it would be best to check.

"Dearest? Where is my son?"

Genma jumped, shaken out of little fantasies by the sound of her voice. "Ummm. Son?"

"Yes, husband, my son," she replied. "Ranma? You remember him? By that name, I mean. At least, I hope you didn't do something silly like selling his name, did you?"

"Oh! Ummm... He's gone off on a training trip; didn't want us along. Getting to be self-reliant, a real man!" Genma babbled on while thinking about the business of selling Ranma's name. Interesting concept...but how did you profit from it?

"Did he take Akane with him?" Nodoka inquired watching them all over the lip of her teacup. She watched Kasumi and Nabiki exchange a single glance then look down at the table.

Soun answered her. "My daughter left the week after Ranma. She expressed desire to visit her aunt," he said sipping his own tea. "You remember Makiko, don't you, Nodoka?"

Nodoka smiled easily. Makiko had been very peeved with her when she had married Genma. Still, she had not held a grudge and had been a formidable woman in her own right. So Akane was with Makiko, was she? She also remembered that Makiko was a died-in-the-wool romantic, amenable to all sorts of silly plans. Perhaps she would call Makiko and see if the youngest Tendo was still there.

But first she needed to talk to Akane's sisters. She smiled politely and dropped the subject.

At the end of dinner, she rose and began to clear the table. Kasumi immediately began to help, but Nabiki was less inclined. She rose and headed for the stairs, mumbling about homework.

"Nabiki?"

"Yes, Auntie?" The middle Tendo stopped on her way to the stairs and glanced blandly at Nodoka.

"If you could help as well, Nabiki?" Nodoka asked gently. "I know you are not a traditionalist, but I'm certain you will find something of interest in our conversation."

Nabiki lidded her eyes as she stared at the older woman. 'Interest', eh? Nodoka had never seemed particularly deep to her and Nabiki hated household chores. Still...

"Of course, Auntie," she smiled languidly. "If you feel I won't be in the way." Her smile widened when Nodoka winked.

Nodoka washed, Kasumi dried and Nabiki lounged in the background. The former communed quietly, while the latter got increasingly twitchy and irritated. Finally, she broke the silence.

"Are you two finished doing your kitchen communion, yet?"

Nodoka smiled sweetly. "You could have joined us."

"Me? Do housework? Please!" she retorted with a snort. "Now what is on the table, Auntie? Another wedding, a switch of fiancées, or Nannichuan for Ranma?"

"It has come to my attention that there are quite a few Jusenkyo-cursed individuals in Japan at the moment."

"Hmmm." Nabiki glanced at Kasumi and then turned back to Nodoka. "Why don't you tell us what you know and I'll fill in any gaps I see," she offered.

Nodoka nodded. "Genma and Ranma, of course. Also, Shampoo and Mousse of the Amazons. There is also a former salesman of Jusenkyo Products Combine. He turns into a dog and his wife chains him to a kennel when she's particularly upset with him."

Kasumi's hand went to her mouth and her eyes widened. Nabiki looked bored. "I've heard of him, Auntie."

"There are about a dozen more, including another Nyanniichuan victim — surprising when you consider how remote Jusenkyo is — none of whom have any contact or concern with us in Tokyo." She paused then regarded them grimly. "However, there is one that gives me great concern. One I discovered just recently. He is seen often in Tokyo, even in the Nerima district. His cursed form is a pig."

"A... pig, Auntie?"

"Yes. You've even met him. His name is Ryoga Hibiki, and I believe that he is Akane's pet, P-chan."

Again Nabiki and Kasumi exchanged glances. 'Hell!' thought the former, 'the cat is well and truly out of the bag. Think fast, girl!'

Nodoka waited expectantly.

* * *

'Warm... good...' bhhzzzz... _'shared warmth, better...'_ bhhzzzzz... 'Warmth, comfort, very good...' bhhzzzz...'

Ranma, Akane and Barry were each sleeping better than they had in weeks. Their dreams were mild, of times of comfort and stability. The fact that Akane, unexpectedly early and nearly frozen from the cold waters of the lake, had joined Ranma in his sleeping bag in a fit of self-preservation the night before, was a bit of information to which her fiancé was not yet privy. Akane hugged the arm that conveniently offered itself, her fantasies of the previous week at least partly fulfilled by the apparently open welcome she received. Ranma dreamed of the days before his father dragged him from their home, never to return. He had had a stuffed plush toy then; a monkey named Ki-Ki that he had hugged to himself in childish sleep. Barry dreamed of home and his wife and the fact that for once his son hadn't woken them at dawn.

The other player in this act was a young man who himself had no reason to be comfortable or content. He woke at dawn and stoked the fire. He noted grumpily that Ranma was not up yet and decided to go ahead and make some coffee. As the smells began to permeate the campsite, he examined the clothes Ranma loaned him, in particular the shirt, with some distaste. On male Ranma, they were a little loose, but on Ryoga, they bound uncomfortably across the shoulders and chest. What was worse, there didn't appear to be enough seam to let out for comfort.

'Lazy bum,' he thought as Ranma snoozed on. The only part of Ranma visible was the back of his head. He poured himself a cup of coffee and threw the hot brew down his throat. With a grunt, he rose to his feet. Ryoga decided to go over and kick the jerk out of bed, an act that would result in a rousing and thoroughly enjoyable fight. Besides, he wanted to hear more about those ki attacks and see if he could create a version of his own. He approached stealthily then gasped.

Another head lay beside Ranma's. Feminine clothing lay in a heap just beyond. Another step closer, it became obvious that the other head belonged to Akane Tendo, sleeping with a faint smile that clutched at his heart and drove his thoughts to mayhem. He found the sight obscene. The casual and relaxed bearing, the way Ranma's breath caused the hairs behind her ear to quiver... Though completely covered, the drape of the cloth made it obvious that she was wrapped in his rival's arms. It was too much for him to bear!

"Ranma, you Svengali! Prepare to _die_!" Strong hands gripped Ranma's throat and shook him.

"UhrK!t!" Pressure at his throat. "Ry-oh-ga, what?"

'_UrhK!t!'_ Attacked! Protect Gwen! (FOOOM!) _'What the hell?'_

"Ranma!" screamed a higher pitched voice.

"Akane?" (Flick) Was that a very nearly naked, in the remains of Ranma's sleeping bag, Akane? (Flick) There, left! Ryoga was flying on a ballistic arc, three-quarters of the way to the woods. (Flick) Back to Akane, still looking shocked, but edging over into that mulish anger of hers. Ranma was only just beginning to come to grips with howshe might have gotten there. (Flick) There was Ryoga charging out of the woods, as fast as he'd ever seen him move, looking like he was ready to use those fangs of his. 'Oh, shit!'

The high-speed assessments were mostly lost on Barry. He reacted to the pain of being awakened out of a sound sleep, made deeper by the subconscious belief he was home, by the painful throttling they received from Ryoga. Though he had been told about the violence that surrounded Ranma's life, he had not yet lived it and had it made real to him. The strong hands, suddenly at his throat, created a panic reaction as he tried to thrust the threat away from himself and his wife, whom he thought he protected.

But the only push he had direct access to was ki. The Mouko Takabisha was relatively weak. It launched Ryoga about forty meters, without being intense enough to cause damage. Barry, now awake, found himself facing the full fury of Ryoga Hibiki. He knew from the sparring the previous night that Ryoga was capable of incredible destruction. Unlike Ranma, Barry did not trust him or his motives. Instinctively, facing direct harm without warning, Barry started to take over, already forming a ki-blast that would shatter steel and fry rock, if launched.

Ranma, shunted aside, realized what was happening, though not entirely why. He could feel the blast coming. If Ryoga was to live, he had no choice. Ranma bore down on the ki that fed consciousness to his own body.

To Ryoga and Akane, Ranma collapsed like a deck of cards. Ryoga's spin-kick met empty air and Akane's resentful frown vanished in a scream of concern. Ranma would have been astonished had he been lucid enough to follow the exchange.

Akane stumbled over to Ranma's contorting form.

"Akane, wait! He's dangerous!" Ryoga was finally remembering Ranma's concerns about Barry's stability under pressure. Akane took it as a gratuitous insult.

"I didn't see _him_ throttling anyone in their sleeping bag, Ryoga," she snarled, trying to catch hold of thrashing limbs and protect the swinging head from striking the ground. She gave up her struggle with modesty and finally managed to contain him. Ryoga half turned away, finger to his nose. "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing! I didn't do anything!" he protested. "I think it was Barry." He held his hands up defensively, partly to protect himself from her glare and part to hide from her generous exposure. "I only wanted to protect you, Ak—!" (SLAP!)

"Shut up, Ryoga! I don't need your protection! What's between Ranma and I is our concern, not yours!"

"But, Akane..." Even though he had vowed to give her up, he found his heart had not completely broken.

"Just shut up, Ryoga!" Seeing that Ryoga was not going to resume the attack, she turned her tearing eyes to her fiancé. The weird tremors had subsided, but he was still unconscious. Gently sweeping the hair back off his relaxed face, she whispered to him, "What happened to you, Ranma?" She felt the fabric of the sleeping bag tuck up against her as Ryoga tried to cover them without looking at them. She scowled at him briefly and waited as he hunkered down. Obviously he had something to say. Whether he remained intact at this range depended on how he said it.

"I apologize, Akane. I…I…" He swallowed, realizing that excuses were not presently acceptable. "Anyway, I learned Ranma came out here because something, or someone, possessed him. That someone claims he's a gaijin named Barry Barlowe from a different United States than the one in our world." He swallowed again at Akane's darkening glower and hastened along with the story, explaining what he could of his discussion with Barry and Ranma.

Akane reddened, wondering just whose arms she had crawled into. She was becoming increasingly aware of her state of undress. Ryoga's shifting eyes and flinches didn't help. After his third, roundabout approach at summarizing the mess, she interrupted him.

"Ryoga, could you go across the lake and get my pack, please?"

The lost-boy came to his feet, only to stop and stammer. "Ummm, Akane, I… uh, I'll only get lost. (Wrong! I'll also get turned into P-chan.) Even if I did find your pack, I might not get it back to you for weeks." He brightened. "Uhhh… I'll see if Ranma has any more spare clothes." He turned and took a step.

"Ryoga!" He stopped and half-turned at her voice. "That way." She pointed to one side. Ryoga giggled and hurried to the shelter.

"Oh, Ranma," she said as they gained some privacy. "What sort of mess did you get into this time?" She stroked his hair out of his eyes again and hoped for the best.

"Uhhh..."

"Ranma?" Her voice was bright with relief.

"Akane?" The world still blurred around him. "I guess Ryoga got me bad, huh?"

"He never touched you, as far as I could see. Is it really you, Ranma?" A slight taste of fear colored her voice.

"Yeah, it's me," he replied as the world steadied. "He told ya 'bout me 'n Barry-baka, huh?" He finally managed to focus his eyes. "Where the hell are yer clothes, tomboy!" he demanded, shocked.

Akane huffed and tucked the sleeping bag around her better. "I lost most of my clothes swimming over here last night."

"You didn't!" he bellowed. "You coulda _drowned_!"

Akane glared at him.

"And, come ta think of it, howdja get inmy sleeping bag? You weren't supposed to be here till the day after tomorrow. No wonder pig-boy… ("I heard that, Ranma!") …went ballistic!" As his voice grew louder, he twisted out of her grasp and rolled up on one elbow to face her. That rearranged the sleeping bag. The view caused his voice to fail.

She leaned closer and he shut up completely. "What was I supposed to think with that note of yours? It sounded like a… a... like you wanted to... Besides," she mumbled, "I was too cold last night to argue for separate accommodations when you offered to take me in."

"I _didn't_! Ya musta dropped yer brains in the lake, to—_Urk_!"

(BOP!) Akane proved that her fears for Ranma's health did not extend to ignoring gratuitous insults.

"That's nothing compared to what I was going to do to you just before you fainted from fright, Ranma." Ryoga returned with Ranma's white shirt and a pair of green fighting pants. "Hard to believe that, as often as you turn into a girl, you don't keep a bra and panties handy," he goaded.

"I was keepin' you from bein' extra crispy, pork chop! Why don't you keep a sign handy that says 'Eat Me!'? "

"Why, you—!"

"Stop it, you two!" Akane yelled, causing Ryoga to subside. Ranma had to get in his two bits of course.

"And P-chan, even if I did have 'em, they wouldn't do her any good! Ya gotta have a figure—_ack_!" (BAM, KRUNCH!)

"Well, it's Ranma all right," commented Ryoga dryly.

"I noticed," Akane replied scathingly. She reached for Ranma's spares then huddled under the torn sleeping bag.

When Ranma came to again, Akane was dressed in his remaining clothes and glaring at him balefully.

"Ranma?"

"I had that coming! I know, I know." It was about as close to an apology that she could expect. She nodded and extended a hand, which he ignored, flipping to his feet in his usual brash, arrogant manner.

"And your... guest?" He shrugged and focused inwards.

"Barry, you there?" he asked. There was no response. "I don't know, Akane."

She grabbed his arm and whispered at him. "I've got to know. When you wrote that note, you didn't finish a sentence. You wrote 'After you get here, we'll...' and didn't finish it. Who is 'we', and what are 'we' supposed to do?"

"I was just gonna tell ya we were gonna train..."

"Train?"

"Well, yeah! Wadja think we were gonna do?" Ranma seemed truly puzzled by her question. Akane reddened and looked down.

"_Ran-ma_!" Akane was obviously frustrated by Ranma's apparent lack of understanding. "You mean... you're going to train me?"

"Oh, man! Ya musta hit yer head or somethin' last night. Look, Akane… Me. You. Train this week — _ack_!"

She was suddenly hugging him furiously. "You'll take me seriously? You'll hit back?" Suddenly, she frowned. "You'd better, Ranma! I found out about your dad training Mousse!"

Ranma looked at her blankly. "He's been doin' what?"

Akane pushed him away violently. "What do you think you're trying to pull, Ranma?"

"Look, I didn't ask him to train nobody. Not no how, no way!" He growled irritated. "The only trainin' I'm worried about is yours!"

"And you're really going to hit me?"

Somewhere inside Ranma, yet also separate from him, a groan bubbled to the surface. Ranma froze for a moment, as his visitor began to wake up. Then spoke aloud for Akane's benefit. "Ah, Barry-san, perfect timing! Do you remember our discussion about the training responsibilities of a student?"

* * *

A pretty young woman stumbled into the hostel just before the doors were closed. Her long hair was in tangles, her clothing in tatters. One would assume that she was the victim of an assault, but her bearing was that of a warrior and the look in her eyes, a haunted spirit. The twin bandoleers crossing her torso were empty except for a single spatula. Across her back was an open hook and holster that might have borne an ax or naginata. After looking about her fitfully, she collapsed like a tree, falling forward stiffly. The old man just barely caught her and lowered her to the floor. His wife was at his side in an instant.

"Be careful, Yoiko; she looks dangerous."

"She looks hurt, Zadai!" Then, to the girl, "Come dear, let's get you into the house and clean you up." Under her fussing, the young woman slowly got to her feet and entered.

"What's your name, dear?" Yoiko inquired kindly. Perhaps she had family somewhere looking for her. The girl was terribly thin, but her hostess knew the answer to that. She patted the thin but well-muscled wrist.

"I... I'm..." The young woman fluttered her hands uncertainly.

"Well then, do you know what you're doing out here?"

"I'm looking..." her face contorted with the effort, "I'm looking for someone. I... They..." Yoiko almost cried at the hopelessness in that face. She cupped the thin face in her hands and shushed her like a small child.

"Don't worry, dear," she said. "You need to be strong when you are on such a quest. Rest here a little while."

After they got her bathed and the tangles out of her hair, she was offered the futon in their daughter's room. The last of their children, she had gone to live with her new husband in Sendai. As the girl slept the sleep of the exhausted, Yoiko and her husband called the local police station to inquire if their guest was listed as missing anywhere.


	8. Guest Ki: Discovery

**Guest Ki: Chapter 7**

_**Discovery**_

"Tell me again why we're doing this?"

Ranma was busy stringing potato chips from Ryoga's shirt and arms. He wanted positive proof that Barry could control the force of his strikes. Akane had grumpily complained that she wasn't made of eggshells and Ranma, in sheer bloody-mindedness, decided potato chips were the next best thing. Ryoga, of course, with his toughness, was the guinea pig again and complaining about it.

"Hey, man! It's just more training; besides eggs are too expensive."

"Maybe to you, Ranma, but… dammit! These things make me itch."

'_He itches, huh? Let's hint that this is really a subtle plan to invite him to dinner in his own crumb-coating.'_ After reawakening that morning, Ranma had quickly determined that, whatever was between Ryoga and Akane, it didn't involve the girl knowing about the fanged boy's curse. Ranma snickered at this otherwise unheard comment.

"What's so funny, Ranma?" asked the uncomfortable one. Ranma was less than subtle and told him, without bothering to identify the source.

"Maybe we'll just pick up where we left off this morning." Fangs flashed briefly in a grin that was not quite amused.

"Quick as I can, P-chan," he commented slyly. "We don't want to hold lunch, after all."

"R-r-r-ran-MA!" Ryoga snarled as the pigtailed martial artist dodged a swipe and carefully positioned the last chip. He jumped back and surveyed his work.

Ryoga appeared to be wearing a suit of golden scale mail. It covered him from his neck to his knees and rustled when he moved. Akane viewed all this with a mixture of sympathy for Ryoga and curiosity about its application.

Akane was wearing one of her yellow gi. Ranma had retrieved her belongings as soon as he recovered from the violence of her greeting — He didn't think the bruises and lumps would take too long to heal — and had even managed to find the clothes she lost the previous evening. Her store of prepared food was a happy surprise. It meant less time needed for foraging. Ranma had expected to lose significant amounts of time foraging, even with Ryoga as an unexpected guest. If anyone knew more about the fine art of foraging than Ranma, it was Ryoga. The potato chips came from sealed tubes in Akane's cache.

"What kind of training is this, Ranma?" asked the girl. "A 'try to steal the chip before Ryoga pounds you' training?"

Ranma got a peculiar, distant look on his face before replying.

"Actually, no, Akane, but hold that thought; we just might try it some time." He turned back to where Ryoga stood. The latter had a dark look on his face. He was obviously feeling self-conscious, if not downright silly.

"This is Barry's trainin'. I want him ta spar with Ryoga usin' my skills, but not hit him hard. Ryoga's more than tough enough if there are mistakes, but the object is _not_ ta break the chips."

"But Barry-san can't swing into overdrive unless he's really threatened, can he, Ranma?" Akane spoke aloud what Barry had been silently and sarcastically voicing.

"No problem there, tomboy," Ranma smirked. "Barry doesn't entirely trust pig-boy here. That's why I had ta knock us out earlier. Since Barry-baka was acting instinctual, sort-of, Ryoga'd been extra-crispy if I hadn't, and I don't like my bacon that way."

"_Ranma_!" Ryoga's growing anger was beginning to get to Barry, as Ranma no doubt intended it should. He focused nervously on the lost-boy as Akane and Ranma continued their discussion.

"Is Barry that dangerous, Ranma? I mean you beat Saffron and if… Well, maybe we should ask someone."

"Like Cologne? Nah!" Ranma waved her off. "Let's keep the old mummy outa this, if we can. Even if she doesn't know how ta help us, she'll pretend she does and try ta hitch me up with Shampoo." He shrugged. "Barry ain't that bad; he's just upset, missin' his wife and kid. He's as old as our dads are; and besides, he never trained in martial arts, much less the responsibility of the Art itself." Ranma sighed and shook his head. "No…discretion. Yeah, that's the word. All he could do was stop Ryoga, not try ta figure out if he could stop him with less or do it without hurtin' him." He canted a look toward Ryoga. "This'll change that, I hope."

"Right, Ranma," Ryoga had calmed down a bit during Ranma's uncharacteristically long speech. He had not really considered Barry as anything except a second, annoying aspect of Ranma and the idiocies he got everyone involved in and profited from. "It seems unfair to pound on a guy who's a total amateur, though."

"Look at it this way, bristle butt," Ranma returned slyly. "It's another chance for ya ta pound on yours truly, and I'm even lettin' you have a fair chance. _Biida_!"

Ryoga's eyes narrowed and Akane sighed. It was so-o predictable.

"Ranma, I'm going to enjoy kicking your butt from one end of the island to the other." He cracked his knuckles and attacked.

"All yours, Barry!"

'_What!'_ "Whoa!"

It was a replay of the prior evening, except Ranma was not tweaking ki supplies. Barry took two glancing blows before the seriousness of the situation allowed him full control. Instinctively, he sought the ki attacks with which he was most familiar, but Ranma blocked him.

'Uh, uh, uh! Straight sparring, Barry. Try not ta break the chips. Or my body.'

Barry had previously discovered the futility of simply blocking Ryoga's kicks or punches. Though Ranma possessed sufficient strength to do so, he lacked the toughness Ryoga developed. Receiving blows of that magnitude was too much punishment to be a winning proposition.

He counterattacked, remembering only at last second, he was supposed to try to controlthe force of the blows.

Deflect — Spin — Back-fist — (rats! cracked chips!) — Evade low — Sweep-kick — Rising open-hand strike — (oops, more cracked chips!) — Block high — Block middle — Knee strike — (good!) — Fist in face/missed block — (_ouch_!) — Spin-kick...

Within five minutes, every chip on Ryoga was broken. He stood there, lips pulled back in such a horrendous snarl that both Ranma and Akane backed away with concern.

"Is…this...training..._done_?" Ryoga's voice held the hint of madness. Ranma backed up another step. Had his friend lost it completely?

"Ummm… Yes?"

"_Thank_ _kami-i-i_!" Ryoga's voice trailed off as he vanished from sight. "Crumbs! Damn you, Ranma! Oh, the crumbs!"

"Poor Ryoga!" commented Akane shuddering. "Potato chip crumbs all through his clothes. It must be hell." She covered her eyes as Ryoga charged through, clad only in boxers.

"Where's the water! Where's the damn water!"

"Lost as usual! I'll get him." Ranma grabbed a thermos and charged after the suffering young man. "Wait here," he called back over his shoulder.

Akane gaped after the two, then got up and trailed along after them.

"Wonderful!" she commented in disgust. "This is supposed to be for my training and I sit around while they act like idiots! _Honestly_!" She grumbled to herself as she kicked an inoffensive stone out of the way. "All that trouble and I don't even get any time alone with him!" She blushed. "Well, almost none..." Fanning herself, she picked up a canteen from her pile of supplies then trudged into the woods. "Might as well find that life jacket."

* * *

Nabiki silently considered the statement Nodoka made. 'So she thinks Ryoga and P-chan are one and the same, hmmm?'

"Ryoga's a little shy about his curse, Auntie," she replied easily. That was certainly true. "Could you sort of keep it under a basket?"

"Keep it quiet?" Nodoka was shocked. "Why... What do you mean?"

"When Ryoga first came here after Jusenkyo, he got lost as he usually does and Akane found him. She was going to keep him as a pet." All the truth, of course, and the point of this discussion. "Of course, she'd never do that if it was a boy! Especially back then." Also true. "I thought it was a good joke to get her a pig that looked a lot like Ryoga." It will be, anyway. "That's P-chan. Ryoga's a good friend to both my sister and your son. Sometimes, I think we keep P-chan around just to tease the poor jerk."

"A pig, like Ryoga's cursed form?"

"If you're ever around when Ryoga is, you'll hear Ranma call him all sorts of names, especially when they're sparring, 'P-chan', 'bacon bits', even 'pork roast'. Poor Ryoga's nearly been made into one a few times. His curse isn't any dark secret, Auntie. I guess someone just got the wrong idea."

Nodoka stared at the two for the longest moment, but saw only a cool, calculating Nabiki and a blankly smiling Kasumi. She finally smiled herself. "I'm sorry. I must be getting old." She looked at her feet embarrassed. "Please, forgive me. I received an anonymous letter and immediately thought evil. I..."

"There is really nothing to forgive, Aunt Nodoka," Kasumi said a little shakily. "You only want what is best for Ranma."

After Nodoka left that evening, Nabiki knocked on Kasumi's door. After a moment her sister appeared, eyes red with tears.

"Don't be so upset, oneechan. You didn't lie, not really."

"How can you say that, Nabiki? We've lied to her every day since Aunt Nodoka first came. Ranko. Imaginary training trips. Now this! Why?"

"Because our dear auntie is a bit of a fruitcake, oneechan."

"You don't think she would try to keep Ranma and Akane apart, do you? Not after all they've been through?" Kasumi was aghast at the very idea. Hadn't her sister been through enough?

"Who knows what lurks in her medieval mind? You're asking me to judge a woman who walked around for ten years with a sword on her shoulder, on the off chance that her son is 'unmanly'."

"But what about Akane's 'P-chan'? What if Ryoga does come back? Akane _must_ be told now. She should have been told before this! And Aunt Nodoka will expect to see Akane's pet. Are you going to buy a little black pig to replace him?"

"Of course not, oneechan! _Moi_… spend money on a pig?" She smirked. "A certain Masuranoya owes me. I think I can convince him to trade merchandise instead of money." When Kasumi looked blank, she added, "He's a pet store owner, Kasumi. I know for a fact he sells pot-bellied pigs, because I saw a couple there once that looked just like P-chan." She grinned reflectively. "I bet I can even match the hairs on his cute little head!"

On the way back from the pet store, Nabiki Tendo stopped at Ucchan's. She thought to have a dry run with Ukyo to see if she noticed anything different in 'Akane's pet'.

Ucchan's was closed and locked and the neighbors had not seen the okonomiyaki chef for some time. Nabiki frowned and considered the news, ignoring the quiet squealing coming from the pet carrier. Ukyo had her faults, but reneging on debts wasn't usually among them...

…Unless, perhaps, something happened to make her give up on Ranma. It might be possible that she would equate running out on these matters with revenge for Genma running off with her father's yatai.

Nabiki hated situations like this. Ukyo was Ranma's friend and Ranma would want to know she was missing, but she had no idea how to contact him or when he'd return. And she hated to throw good money after bad. Still, the colder the trail, the longer the hunt! Maybe this would alleviate some of Ranma's anger toward her. She had pegged him as a 'nobler-than-thou' superman who, while perfect for her sister, was also _her_ perfect mark. Oh, well! Apparently, he simply had a frightfully long fuse and people like that tended to hold grudges. She would call the police to list Ukyo Kuonji of Nerima District, Tokyo, missing. Then she'd check with Kasumi to see if she had Konatsu's number. She probably would.

After a call to the ninja, she would contact some of her associates to track down where Ukyo had last been seen and in which direction she was headed. She considered another idea, discarded it, reconsidered and decided that payback was in order. The Nekohanten would be perfect for lunch.

"Welcome to the Nekohanten. How may I help you?" Mousse's almost perfect Japanese was delivered to the coat-rack beside the door. She reached over and flipped his glasses down.

"Mousse, hel-LO! Over here?"

"Oh! Can I be of service, Tendo-san?"

Ah, blessed formality! Not 'Hello, Nabiki!' or 'What do you want, you money-grubbing witch!' just 'Can I be of service, Tendo-san!' If she had had any doubts about guilty consciences here, that sank them.

"Hello, Mousse," she smiled openly, innocently, which immediately put him on guard. "Could I have the special, please?" She sat the carrier on the floor beside her chair and added, "Oh, and whatever seems appropriate for my sister's pig here." She patted the case.

Mousse glanced at the case, then at her and called the order back. "One special, one small fish ramen!"

While she waited for her order, Shampoo came in from a delivery. She skipped in merrily, then stopped dead as she saw Nabiki. In a glide altogether different from Akane's stiff-legged stomp, she moved into range.

"What pervert-girl sister doing in Nekohanten?"

"Oh, my! Are you saying you don't want my business?"

"Granddaughter," snapped a gravely voice out of the back, "mind your manners!"

One large and one small bowl sailed out of the kitchen to be caught absently by Shampoo and Mousse. As the latter reached to open the carrier, Nabiki stopped him. He looked up through his coke-bottle glasses questioningly.

"Let me, Mousse. He's been acting really nervous of late." She fielded the small bowl from him and gingerly placed it in the cage. Then she set to on her own bowl with a contented smile. There was at least an even chance that, before this was over, she'd have a free meal. She ignored Shampoo's looming glower and Mousse's nervous twitch (because of Shampoo's looming glower) and Cologne's curious glance at her two charges.

"Where pervert-girl?" Shampoo made the first move.

"Hmmm… You know, Shampoo, I don't believe I know anyone named 'pervert-girl'. Is she new in town?"

"Grrr! Nabiki know Shampoo mean Akane," Shampoo snapped. "Akane in big trouble if she with airen!"

"'Oh, my!' to borrow a phrase from my sister." Nabiki slurped on, watching a potentially lethal Shampoo with apparent unconcern.

"Where is Son-in-law?" Cologne held up a hand to forestall a repeat of Nabiki's earlier digression. "Ranma. We heard he and your sister had another argument."

Nabiki held out her hand in the time-honored gesture. Cologne gestured at Mousse, who sighed and pulled several hundred-yen bills from somewhere. He handed one to Nabiki. "You are going to repay me, aren't you?" he inquired testily of Cologne.

"Actually, the only harsh words that passed," Nabiki interrupted, "aside from the usual regarding Akane's cooking — were with me and perhaps, our fathers. He chose to go on a training trip after that and hasn't returned yet." She folded the bill and tucked it away. After her answer, she ate some more while Shampoo again became offensive.

"Akane with Ranma? If not say, Shampoo give 'kiss of…' Ite!"

Cologne lowered her staff. "That's enough of that, granddaughter. The 'kiss of death' is between trained warriors only! Don't misuse it. Nabiki, dear, could you please tell us where Akane went and where she is now?" Nabiki held out her hand. Mousse groaned and handed her another bill.

"Thank you, Granny," she chirped, tucking the money away. "Akane went to visit an aunt of ours who knew my father and Ranma's when they were children. After that, Akane was going on a training trip of her own."

"Is Akane with Ranma?" Shampoo's tone was absolute zero. Nabiki held out a hand with a smirk.

Shampoo smashed the table and took a single step toward Nabiki who merely tapped her lips with her napkin.

"I guess lunch is over. My associates, of course, will notify the police if I don't come back out happy and in one piece." She stood up, placed the carrier on her chair and handed the nonplused Shampoo the small bowl. "Come on, P-chan," she cooed. "We won't let nasty Amazons disturb your recovery."

"Recovery?" inquired Cologne. "Was he hurt?"

"Oh, no," Nabiki answered with relish. "Our vet mentioned that P-chan might be getting lost all the time because he was out hunting little girl-pigs. We did the only responsible thing and had him neutered." The Chinese contingent's eyes became like saucers and everyone froze, shocked at the implications. "I just picked him up from the vet." Mousse chose that moment to keel over in a faint. She looked down at the unconscious Master of Hidden-Weapons-and-Other-Household-Objects, and up at the two women. "Something wrong? Anyway," she said, changing the subject, "have you people seen or heard from Ukyo the past week?"

They shook their heads staring at the carrier.

"Oh, well. Thanks for the food. Ta-ta!"

She felt her control was well worth the effort of making it home before going into hysterics. Then she began to call about Ukyo.

Back at the Nekohanten, Cologne was interrogating Shampoo and Mousse. The two stood, essentially at attention, as she pogo-ed before them.

"You two have been acting strange all week. Now, this happens." She glared at them. "What have you been up to?"

In unison, they convulsively swallowed.

* * *

Ranma, in girl-form, scrubbed at the stained clothes in the water by her feet. Beside her, a small form _'bwee_-ed' and shifted in the cold water, occasionally shaking itself and throwing dark looks at the girl who was stripped down to boxers and undershirt for the task.

"Okay, all right, already!" she grumped. "It was a stupid idea! But you weren't the only one who lost out, ya know!"

"Skweeee! Bark! Buk-weee! BweeEEE!" (Translation: 'Sure, Ranma! You are in such pain!') P-chan shook himself all over. Those damn crumbs had gotten everywhere.

"Hey, man! Washing is your cure. But I ain't never gonna get the stains outa these things. I thought this brand of chip was supposed ta be greaseless!"

"Bu-WEEEeee! Bwee! Weree! Beewee! Bleee-urh, bark!" (I don't think wearing them was planned for, Ranma!)

Ranma held up the sopping clothing Ryoga had been wearing. There was an obvious difference in the coloring, even when wet. They were faintly yellow over the entire front of the shirt and legs.

"Eeuw!" She grimaced and glanced to where P-chan now struggled in agitation with the thermos cap. "I don't think these are wearable, anymore." Seconds later, Ryoga was restored through the vehicle of hot water.

"Ranma!" Ryoga grabbed the cringing redhead by the shoulders and shook her. He brought her close and glared into her blue eyes to better impress upon her just how ticked off he was.

"_Ranma_! _Ryoga_!" The two flinched as Akane's voice rang against the waters of the lake. With guilty, trembling smiles, their heads turned to regard the girl with the bluish aura who stood, lifejacket forgotten in her hand, only ten meters away at the edge of the woods. Ryoga quickly twisted and yanked Ranma in front of him in an attempt to hide his nakedness from the dark-haired fury.

"Uhhh... Hi, Akane! Uh… how long have you been there?" Ranma's feminine voice shook. She saw pain in Akane's eyes — _hers_! 'Gulp!'

"Long enough!" Akane glared at the sight before her.

'Double Gulp!' "I... I'm sorry, Akane," Ryoga stammered, "I should have told you..."

"That you two are _perverts_? Why would I _want _to know!"

(BAM! SMASH! CRUNCH! CRASH! (Maim) WHACK! POW!)

Akane put her mallet away and stomped off, convinced that Ranma and Ryoga had developed a 'thing' for one another. Why else would the two be nearly naked and hugging one another after running away from her? Or just possibly, they wanted to make it a three-some with her. Why else get her out here alone? Back on the beach, the mangled forms of the two in question began to stir.

'_The pain... oh, the pain!'_ silently moaned Barry Barlowe.

"That went rather well, all things considered," mumbled Ryoga.

"Speak for yerself, pork-butt," groaned Ranma.

Later, Ranma trudged through the woods, knuckles practically dragging on the ground. Behind her came Ryoga, holding one end of a ruined silk shirt in his hand. Ranma gripped the other end, as a precaution to avoid losing him in the woods.

Her first impulse, after recovering from Akane's pounding, was to run after the girl and try to explain. Barry had scotched that. He reminded Ranma that Ryoga would get lost and they'd spend valuable time searching for him. Once they had a base where Ryoga was settled, they could track Akane if necessary.

Ryoga was unusually quiet. He was certain his secret identity as P-chan had been discovered. He hardly cared anymore. With the threat of castration ever present at the Tendo's, he no longer had the driving need to hide his curse. He was tired of living the lie. What he had said, while looking at the enraged Akane, was the absolute truth. If he had any honor, he should tell her and accept whatever punishment she felt he deserved. He left Akari. Now he'd never see Akane again and, what was worse, she'd despise him. He ground his teeth and tears filled his eyes.

Barry felt something strange happening. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it felt like a great weight of power building up somewhere close.

'_Ranma, Japan is volcanic, right? Is this lake a dormant cone?'_

'Not that I heard. Why?'

'_Can't you feel it?'_

Ranma glanced behind. "_Ryoga_, d_on't_!"

"Shishi HOUKUDAN!"

(KA-­­BOOOOOOOM!)

Back at the camp, Akane was in the process of cooling down. With Ranma not immediately following her and exacerbating the situation, she had time to review what she saw and consider that maybe — just _maybe_ — she was jumping to conclusions. She still remembered that horrifyingly embarrassing incident with the 'magic koi rod', where Ranma had fallen passionately in love with Ryoga. To tell the truth, she never had gotten a satisfactory explanation of what had been going on that time.

Just then, Ryoga's ki-blast lit up the tree line. Chunks of rock and debris darkened the sky, and moments later she was dodging gravel-sized debris thrown from the blast. She hesitated only seconds before heading back to investigate. Not far from the blast center, she heard a strangled yell.

'_So that's a Shishi Houkudan.'_

Ranma ignored her guest, groaned and tried to figure out where she had been thrown. Barry had done something strange (Hopefully, he could do it again.) that had saved her/their lives. A plane of energy had sprung into existence to shield them a mere instant before Ryoga's Shishi Houkudan had been released. They rode out the blast like a surfer rode a wave, but ended up in a tree fifteen meters off the ground. Now, she was painfully suspended by her undershirt with a rather difficult proposition for getting down. Finally, Ranma saw Akane coming back and tried to get her attention.

"What are you doing up there." Akane shook her head in disbelief.

Ranma ignored the pain in her chest and crossed her arms under her bosom. "I'm hangin' by my tits, dammit!" she replied crudely. "What does it look like I'm doin'?"

Akane flung her arms wide in disgust. "How should I know? Are you all right?"

"Oh sure! The maniac that was beating me with a… Ite! Ite! _Stop_ that! WhooOOOPS!" Ranma seemed to be pummeled about the head by an unseen assailant. As she tried to protect herself, she slipped free of her undershirt and barely snagged the tail. Now she was hanging exposed for all to see.

"Excuse Ranma, please, Akane," Barry called down. "He's a bit put out that he didn't realize Ryoga might react this way."

Akane looked puzzled for an instant before realizing that Barry was in the fore. "Why did he do that?"

"Oh, I don't know," answered Barry dryly. "Maybe someone rather thoughtlessly accused him and a friend of something really nasty, then pummeled them both into unconsciousness." The redhead swung silently for a second. "No, I really can't imagine why, can you?"

Akane gulped. She'd had enough time to think and Barry's words had fallen right in line with her own thoughts. Even as she stared up at her fiancé, Ranma rather abruptly took over and scrambled for purchase.

"Barry! Leave Akane alone, dammit!" The entangled shoulder chose that moment to snap through and Ranma plummeted. She scrabbled sideways, trying to get a push off the trunk, but it was too far away.

(CRUNCH!)

"_Ranma_!" They could hear Akane hurrying over.

'You know, Ranma, we do have that new _ki_ move — the 'Ribbon of Light'? You could have grabbed the trunk with that.'

"Why didn't you do it?"

'Hmmm!' came the non-committal sigh.

They soon arrived at a crater three meters deep and nine across. All the smaller trees around the crater were broken or knocked over. One large tree partly in the crater had lost all its branches on the near side and all its leaves except for those protected by the main trunk. In the bottom, in a pool of steaming water, was Ryoga.

"We gotta get him outa there fast!" exclaimed Ranma.

"But Ranma, you shouldn't move someone till you're sure they don't have serious injuries." Akane crouched in the water. She neglected to consider that the Shishi Houkudan wasn't responsible for Ryoga's injuries—she was. "Ow! This is hot!"

"Yeah, but water's seeping in here fast, Akane." Ranma relayed in his own words, advice Barry was feeding him. "It'll cool off fast, too, and he'll go inta shock. He was in real bad shape a few days ago. Besides, do you see any ambulances around here?" Ranma hefted the lost-boy up with a grunt.

"Here goes!"

Ki formed and writhed in Ranma's free hand. With a flicking motion, he snapped his hand forward and the blob of light lengthened to a narrow band that seemed to snap around the scarred trunk of a medium large tree.

"Grab hold, Akane!"

"Ranma? Is that…? Uh... Okay. Whoa!" The band suddenly contracted, lifting the trio out in a gentle arc to land beyond the crater's lip. Akane stood pale as she watched the band of _ki_ sublimate away. "Is that a new ki technique?" Her voice was a bit shaky.

"One of 'em." Ranma looked at Ryoga's recumbent form with disgust. "Oh, jeez! At this rate, I'm gonna run out of clothes ta wear. You baka, Ryoga!"

"Baka yourself, Ranma. Weren't you just worried about him catching a cold?" demanded the dark-haired girl.

Ranma made a disgusted noise. "Pneumonia, I worry about; but him just gettin hurt…?" He made the disgusted 't'cch' again. "A cockroach is easier ta kill." He crouched down. "C'mon, Akane. Help me get 'im back ta camp."

Akane slung the lifejacket onto Ryoga's torso and took his legs. It would take several hours to return to camp lugging the unconscious martial artist over fallen trees and rocks along the way. Akane was tired and confused. Nothing had gone the way she had expected since she caught sight of the island. Yet Akane had come a long way from the boy-hater Ranma met at the Tendo dojo. Then, she could not have imagined, or desired, a romantic interlude with a boy, with... Ranma. She had been almost disappointed when he informed her that he only planned to train her.

Ryoga faded in and out of consciousness. Several times, he would look at Akane and begin to speak. Once he muttered, "Who you callin' P-chan?" His _ki_ levels were enough to keep him alive, but not much more. Just out of reach. Of Akane, that was. She had been his lodestar for so long. Yet he knew he would never have a chance of competing with Ranma. Ranma at least remained human through the curse. All Ryoga had ever been was a pet. A stupid pet! He wept at the injustice.

"Ranma, put him down! I think we're hurting him!"

"C'mon, Akane," Ranma groaned. It had been tough going and she was carrying most of Ryoga's weight. "He's tougher than that."

"Put him down. Please?" Akane lowered Ryoga's legs to the ground, and steadied Ranma as she lowered Ryoga to a sitting position. Ranma felt a surge of jealousy, which she barely managed to control, as Akane supported the lost-boy. After standing there feeling stupid for a few moments, Ranma kicked at the dirt and mumbled about scouting a faster way to camp, then bounced off into the trees.

Akane, left alone with Ryoga, felt his forehead and his pulse. He was actually a little warm to the touch. This was puzzling to her as Ranma, if he went all out, usually felt cold as a result of the reduced amount of ki in his body. She carefully considered her options, then tore a relatively clean section of cloth from his shirt and moistened it from the canteen she had with her.

The damp cloth seemed to bring relief at first. It wasn't very damp; she knew all too well how uncomfortable it could be to have a stream of icy water run down your neck. She had wrung it out thoroughly. Ryoga seemed to relax and enjoy the cool sensation. He opened his eyes.

Green eyes met brown eyes that were dark with concern. Again, the cool cloth stroked his head and he sighed.

"Akane."

"Shhh, Ryoga." She placed a finger on his lips. "Ranma's gone to look for a better way through the woods." She used the cloth again and he closed his eyes.

"Akane, I'm so sorry." He opened his eyes again. "I've never been the friend you thought I was. I wanted to be more... but, that doesn't matter now." He watched her moisten the cloth again and flinched as a drip narrowly missed his hand.

"Ryoga, I... know." He blinked at her. "But I just couldn't think of you that way." Ryoga sighed and closed his eyes. "You shouldn't be sad, Ryoga. In a lot of ways, you're way cuter than Ranma is and a lot nicer, even if you do get lost a lot." She patted his head with the dampened cloth, a faint smile on her lips.

"Did I ever have a chance?" he whispered.

"No one else ever did, really, Ryoga." She smiled sadly. Her hand stroked his forehead in a movement that was oddly familiar to Ryoga. It was the stroke she used to comfort P-chan as she sat on her bed and cried. He wondered if somewhere deep inside she knew the truth. "I used to scream '_I hate boys_!' each morning as I ran to school. I still scream that inside when I see some of them looking at me. But I know Ranma would stop them." She stared at the ground. "Even when he's acting perverted himself, sometimes it's almost funny. I don't know why he lets me hit him. I'm sure he could stop me and…and… But he lets me push him away again and again."

Ryoga croaked. "It's my fault..."

Akane snorted. "That's really sweet, Ryoga, but Ranma does do a lot of stupid things, picking on you, for example, but he's really nice in a rough sort of way. We were bound by honor and fought it every inch of the way as they pushed us. Now, it's different. But is it love or is it gratitude? Gratitude bites after a while, Ryoga; but Daddy once told me that, when he understood he loved Mom, he felt like a bird set free from a cage. I wish…"

Ranma bounced into the small clearing smiling. He'd obviously been back at the camp. "I found an easier way, Akane!" Akane's hand on the canteen slipped, and water sloshed generously. Ranma saw this and time seemed to slow. "OOOooooo, NNNnnnooooo! LLLllloookkk OOOuuuttt, RRRrrryyyooogggaaa!"

"_Bwee_!"

* * *

The young woman worked in the kitchen with a natural grace that was breathtaking sometimes.

"Shrimp Tempura, ready!"

"Thank you, Yasashi!" Yoiko took the plate and moved gracefully out to the dining area.

Zadai walked in the back door with bags of laundry from the guesthouses. "How are you this morning, Yasashi?"

"Much better, Zadai-san!" Yasashi, as they called the girl who had stumbled into their lives just the week before, was much changed. They had had to trim her long brown hair to get rid of the worst tangles; now it only came to just below her shoulders, instead of to her hips. She moved a little stiffly, due to the plastering on broken ribs.

The local police had visited, as had a doctor. They asked her questions, chided Yoiko and Zadai about disposing of her wretched clothes before they could be examined for clues. They assured them that the search for her identity should only take a few days.

The doctor had quickly found the broken ribs and, because of her lack of memory and other minor injuries, spent some time trying to convince her to come in for a fuller examination. He then prescribed pain medication and left his card in case she changed her mind.

The old couple had given her the name 'Yasashi', meaning sweetness, because she had been so uncomplaining throughout the ordeal of questioning and the doctor's exam. This was not completely true of course; she did have a temper and had exhibited it just the other day, when a young visitor had made a pass at her. She had turned on him and yelled, "You jackass!" while making a peculiar reaching motion, as if to pull something one-handed over her back. The young man, recognizing when he was not wanted, made a rapid strategic retreat, leaving her looking confused and uncertain.

She had refused their charity and worked hard to earn her keep. She was deceptively strong, and cheerfully carried luggage for arriving guests to their quarters. Zadai had served in the Second World War and recognized Yasashi had all the earmarks of an exceptional martial artist. He didn't recognize her style, but then he'd only experienced the basic hand-to-hand combat training a line soldier had received.

Whatever else she was, she was a superb chef, familiar with most of the tools they had in the kitchen. She could prepare almost anything they asked, including western style meals, to the great relief of one visiting couple who, while enjoying Japanese cuisine, had been hoping for a change. She made them pizza and their tentative sampling (they were well familiar with what most Japanese used as toppings) turned to beatific smiles. A simple thing, that brought a simple joy.

Zadai and Yoiko noticed she seemed preoccupied that evening, but with their inquiries gently rebuffed, went to bed unconcerned. The next day, Yasashi prepared okonomiyaki.

The guests bit into her offerings with expressions of delight. The girl seemed to dance her way through the cooking, even more than usual. Yet tears streamed down her face as she worked, as if what she did brought her as much pain as pleasure.

Yasashi tried to remember.

* * *

Tatewaki Kuno stood at the helipad gate to greet his returning sister. Clad in a business suit, he looked more the rising executive than a samurai wannabe. Sasuke jittered nervously to one side, glancing at his watch from time to time and flinching at sudden noises. His nervousness finally broke the silence Kuno had maintained.

"Be at ease, loyal servant! My sister is not due for another twenty minutes."

"Yes, Master Kuno."

"Is everything ready? We must not arouse her suspicions."

Sasuke nodded rapidly.

"Kuno Industries has extensive holdings. I wonder why we did not utilize these particular ones before? Still, better late than never." He looked at his strong hands, callused only from constant work with the sword.

"Sasuke, did you sign the papers I gave you? Did you take them to be witnessed by Kasagani-san?"

"Yes, Master." Sasuke hesitated a moment. "May I ask why?"

Kuno was silent for a long time.

"You know your instructions, faithful one. It is for the best. Do not ask why." Tatewaki thought, 'I'm not certain I could tell you.' They continued their vigil in silence.

Not long after, a helicopter came into view and settled to the pad. As the blades slowed, a black clad woman stepped from the door assisted by the helpful hand of hired help. She glanced across at her welcoming committee and her eyes narrowed faintly.

"Sasuke, get my bags!"

"At once, Mistress."

Kodachi, the Black Rose, Kuno glided across the tarmac to her brother. She moved about him as if flirting with him, testing him subtly.

"So, brother dear," she sighed dramatically. "Did you miss me?"

"Hardly, sister. It was a refreshing interlude." He glanced over at the limousine that waited beyond the fence. "I would arrange to send you to more international competitions, provided I had some assurance that you would not be a complete embarrassment to our country and our family in your search for the most blatant way to cheat."

"What a long-winded way to be impolite. How typical!" Tatewaki offered her a thin smile and walked toward the helicopter. "Wait! Where are you going?" He turned to her with a look of such emotion that Kodachi stepped back.

"I go to further cleanse myself of your poisons, my sister. I will 'rough it' for a time in a mountain retreat. It might be interesting to experience a day of total unrestricted sanity. I feel we have so few these days. Farewell for now, sister."

Kodachi was temporarily nonplused. She watched her brother board the helicopter. Moments later, Sasuke stumbled to the aircraft with four large bags, which he gratefully turned over to the crew. He quickly ran to Kodachi's side (but not too close) and waved to the departing aircraft. After a decent moment, the family servant turned to Kodachi.

"Please, mistress, the limousine awaits."

Kodachi Kuno raised her nose and waved him on. He hurried to the car and turned to her bowing and scraping as he opened the door for her.

"It will be my extreme pleasure to serve... Huh? Where'd she go?"

"I will make my own way to the family estate, Sasuke." The Black Rose's voice drifted back on the breeze and her form was briefly silhouetted against a building. Sasuke stared for a moment, and snapped his fingers. He'd known it wouldn't be easy to subdue and commit Kodachi, the Black Rose.

"Oh, well! Go to plan 'B'!" He jumped into the car and drove off, punching in a number on the dash-mounted cell phone. A bump jostled him, sending his finger where it should not have gone.

"SSSSSSSSSsssssssss!" "Ack! The sleeping gas!" Sasuke's hand fumbled over the dashboard. "The partition window. Must cl-ooossssssee... gzzzzz..."

As the window slowly moved up to close off the passenger area of the limo, Sasuke slipped into sleep and the limo nosed over into a ditch. Plan 'B' would have to wait.

* * *

Akane looked down at the limp suit of tattered clothes. Inside, something made soft 'bwee-ing' sounds and tried to sit very, very still. The girl twitched slightly at each sound and slowly put together a multitude of evidence and especially the latest comments of the lost-boy. She thought she ought to be angry.

'She should be angry,' Ranma thought. 'In fact, she should be going ballistic! Why is she just sitting there?'

'_Take a look at her ki, Ranma!'_

'Oh, boy!'

Akane was like a banked fire in a metal refinery, contained, but hot as hell! Slowly the banked fires burned through the barriers that contained them. Then the heat of her intense aura began to ripple in the air. Still, she did not search the clothes. She knew what was there, but instead brought her glare up to meet Ranma's eyes. There was an unspoken question, which dared to be answered.

'_What are you doing?' _

Ranma had moved slowly and carefully within the girl's reach. 'I'm explaining and apologizing,' answered Ranma silently.

'_Could you do it from further away?' _

'We'll take our lumps. Consider it training.'

"Back when Ryoga first showed up," Ranma spoke to the reddened face only a meter away, "I learned that I caused Ryoga ta get a Jusenkyo curse. I promised I wouldn't reveal his secret ta anyone. That was before I found out ya made him yer pet." Ranma spoke as if his life were not at stake, staring at the ground and reciting plainly and simply. "I couldn't just _tell_ ya, Akane, not without bein' as bad as Pops. Ryoga... I think Ryoga had just been alone too long and couldn't give up bein' loved, even if it was just as a pet. I think he's tried ta tell ya a couple a times, but you know Ryoga!" Ranma scratched the back of his head and glanced at the girl. "I tried ta let ya know, insultin' Ryoga and callin' him pig-names, but ya didn't catch on." He closed his eyes and prepared for the ax to fall. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect ya."

There was silence. It lasted a long time.


	9. Guest Ki: Special Training

**Guest Ki: Chapter 8**

_**Special Training**_

"I can't believe I trusted you!" Akane stormed around the camp gathering her stuff together. Periodically, she would come to a halt and simply scream at the sky in a blind rage. Ranma and a small black piglet stumbled along behind her. The former stayed out of her private space but within easy reach. The latter followed almost blindly, sometimes bumping into the boy's ankles, stopping then trailing along behind. Neither had been touched by Akane, which worried the hell out of them.

"I had that damn pig in my bed for over a year!" she shrieked, tears streaming. "A year! I sure hope you all got your laughs over the baka, un-cute _tomboy_!" She abruptly changed direction and picked up more supplies she missed and stuffed them into her pack.

Ranma winced and followed along. Ryoga had been right earlier. The misunder-standing at the lake shore had gone well. This was turning into his worst nightmare. He never thought he would prefer Akane to beat on him.

"It's so wonderful that you want to be more honorable than your father, Ranma! Far be it from me to pull you down with the honor you left me!"

Barry wondered if there was such a thing as an abuse center for teenagers around. _'Ranma, you are going to have to stop her.'_

'Yeah, right!' groaned the boy silently. 'Like anyone can stop Akane when she's like this.'

'_I'm not talking about her breaking up with you! If she tries to leave here with a full pack in this state, she won't make it across the lake! And do you see her fixing a fire to dry off? Or is she going to push on, get pneumonia, get hit by a car, fall off a cliff... Get my drift?'_

"Shit!" Ranma whispered and stopped abruptly, feeling the now familiar bump of P-chan at his ankles. Barry was right. And to stop her, he'd have to step across a line he avoided till now; she'd never been one to listen to reason. His heart feeling like a lead lump in his chest, he fought down revulsion at what had to be done and stepped close to the raging girl.

"Akane?"

"And another thing…" She turned violently, getting nose to nose with him to press her point home. "I am so glad to finally get this out in the open. You are an honor-less, shiftless pervert! I never want to see you or that," she spat out the word, "stupid _pig_ ever again! I HA—!"

(SMACK!)

Akane bounced painfully on her bottom, one hand to the cheek Ranma had slapped. Eyes wide, she stared at Ranma who stood stony faced, looking not at her, but at the hand that had struck her. He held it before him as if it were some loathsome thing that had been found under a rock.

"B-b-Barry?" She couldn't conceive that Ranma had just hit her.

"Akane, I can't let you go anywhere, yet," Ranma said miserably, still not looking at her. He lowered his hand. "First, ya can't be outa control like this in the wild. I hafta make sure ya get home in one piece. Second, I owe it to yer dad ta train ya in the full Ryu of Mutsabetsu Kakuto." He lowered his hand and looked off into the woods, mentally plotting a future without Akane, ignoring attempts by Barry to break in or offer advice. "Actually, ya got most of it, but ya need ta learn how ta train yerself faster and how ta learn new techniques." He sighed then, but the tension was hardly abated. "I don't have the time ta make ya as good as me, but I can get ya to where you can become as good as me, if you push yerself."

Akane swallowed hard. There was something wrong with Ranma's voice. If he had been shocked and dismayed earlier by her tirade, she was now worried about his behavior. "I… I'm going home," Akane said shakily.

"After the training, I'll make sure ya make it home." The grim tone of voice did not permit argument. He walked quietly over and picked up her pack, then wandered over to the lean-to. There he yanked out what little property Ryoga had acquired while they were there and set out her sleeping roll. He turned, gathered Ryoga's bedding and, with meticulous care, rolled it up and set it under cover, but readily accessible. "Akane, you get the shelter. Ryoga, you an' me sleep in the open unless it rains." He sighed, closed his eyes and controlled himself with an effort. "It doesn't matter anymore, anyway," he muttered. Ranma finally met Akane's eyes again and she shuddered inside at how dull and lifeless they looked. "Today, we rest; try ta get calm. Tomorrow... Tomorrow we train."

Both P-chan and Akane exchanged troubled glances at the tone of his voice. Ranma turned and walked into the woods.

'_What the hell are you planning, Ranma?'_ Barry was internally wincing at Dragonball Z played over and over again. Damn elevator music! None of Ranma's plans were available to review or discuss and Ranma was treating him like he wasn't there anymore. _'It's not the end of the world, Ranma; lots of relationships go through rocky times. If they're important enough to you, you keep fighting to make them work!'_

'What's the difference between me and Kuno if I don't take the hint, Barry-san? I'm not gonna stalk her an' make her life miserable.' Ranma moved swiftly through the trees and soon reached the other side of the island. 'I'm gonna make her so good at martial arts she won't need me ta protect her. Then I'm gonna make her better. She'll be able to carry on the tradition of Mutsabetsu Kakuto like Tendo wants and she'll have everything my family developed as well.' Ranma's fist clenched, and Barry could 'hear' the grating of his teeth. 'No one will be able to force her to choose their way over hers ever again.'

Ranma walked straight into the water and sat down. The change occurred and for long minutes she studied the reflection of the red-haired girl that was, and yet was not, Ranma Saotome.

'_What about Ranma Saotome?'_ Barry spoke of his host as if he were another person. _'What future do you plan for him?'_

The Dragonball Z theme roared up like gasoline poured on flames.

* * *

Ranma came out of the woods before dawn. Her face was hard and she collected every bit of food in the camp before heading back to the woods. As the sun began to light the camp she kicked Ryoga awake, then checked on Akane in the lean-to. For a moment her expression softened, but then she took Akane's canteen and upended it over her head.

(SPLUTTER!) "What did you do that for?" She glared at the redhead but subsided, as the other's gaze did not waver.

"Time ta train, Akane." She turned away and looked at Ryoga, who was poking at the fire. She frowned, slightly. "Hey, pork buns! I said, it's time ta train an' that goes for you, too!"

"I'm just fixing breakfast!"

Ranma blasted the fire with a ki burst. "No, yer not. Besides, the food's not here. Ta get it, ya gotta earn it."

"_What_!" they screamed at her.

"You can't do that to Akane," Ryoga bellowed and charged.

A splash of water and P-chan ricocheted off Ranma.

"Can't I?"

Akane looked horrified then regained her composure. "I'm ready for anything, Ranma," she challenged angrily.

"Yer gonna need ta be." She turned and pointed. "Breakfast is that way; if ya can find it and _if_ ya can get to it. I'll be there by lunchtime. If ya haven't found it, it's mine."

"If that happens… when are _we_ going to eat?" Akane said stiffly, trying to hide her dismay.

"When I feel like it and not before. Don't fail, or yer gonna get real hungry." She walked over to where Ryoga scrabbled at a thermos and picked him up by the bandanna. "Ryoga, you're gonna sit this one out." She turned back to Akane. "The pig is already a survivor, Akane. He's used ta this stuff, so I'm not gonna let him break trail for ya. He eats when you eat."

"_Jerk_!"

Akane pushed her way through the woods, holding to a southwest course. She went all the way to the opposite side of the island then retraced her steps. Every once in a while, she'd see Ranma, moving around her. At one point, she found some late berries of a type she knew to be good and ate every ripe one she could find.

"Stupid Ranma!" she sneered. "I'll show him! Even if I don't find the food he's hidden, I won't go hungry."

It was almost lunchtime when she saw the small sack tied to a slender limb from a tree. She could climb the tree or she could walk along the trunk of a fallen tree that was braced in a fork of a larger one. Its trunk passed right underneath the sack. Then she noticed Ranma resting comfortably along an overhanging branch, looking more like some forest spirit than the girl she presently was. She seemed to be asleep.

"Better hurry up, Akane. Yer almost out of time," she said without opening her eyes.

'Damn!' Akane leaped up on the trunk and began to edge along it.

"Well, jeez! If you're gonna take all day about it, let's make this interesting." Ranma flowed off the branch and dropped in front of the dark-haired girl, not coincidentally between her and the sack.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"Toughening and balance training, Akane. If you can last ten seconds with me, you get the sack."

"But you never hit back!" she screamed frustrated. Ranma's leg-sweep nearly dumped her. Akane leaped in the air and kicked. Ranma blocked and counter-punched.

It was pulled, certainly; but it jarred Akane back on the branch and nearly sent her to a nasty fall. Nor did the punch end the attack, as Ranma carried through with a series of kicks and punches that were landing with bruising force. Akane, on the defensive, was forced back a step, then another. The attacks were basic but fast and she was too astonished to do anything more than block.

Suddenly, Ranma was gone. Akane almost overbalanced. She stopped, bruised and breathless, and looked about. But Ranma was nowhere to be seen. Smugly, she reached for the bag.

It was full of leaves.

"Ranma, you _jerk_! Where's the _food_? _You promised_!"

"Actually, I never said the food was in the bag, Akane." She whirled to find Ranma behind her on the trunk. "You found that earlier. The berries were quite good, weren't they?"

"The berries?" she screeched astonished. Without thinking, she charged the redhead. Her world revolved around wiping the smug look from Ranma's face. She struck and struck and struck. When Ranma leaped back into the trees, she followed; every branch, every knob or roughness of bark was used as purchase for hands and feet. She raged through the woods in an agony to strike.

That evening, Ranma, still in girl form, Akane and Ryoga sat at the points of a triangle, quietly waiting for the food to cook. Ryoga shot glances at Akane and her many bruises and scratches. Akane looked at neither and kept whatever she felt to herself.

"Ranma," the lost-boy opined, "this isn't right."

"Shut up, porky," she replied. "Akane's a martial artist."

Akane started at that statement. How long had she wanted Ranma to offer that unembellished praise? Her anger earlier had driven her past her normal physical reserves. She had chased Ranma through the woods through the heat of the day. She had, whenever the redhead permitted it, attacked like a berserker until finally she was exhausted.

Ranma had promptly returned, picked her up and carried her back to camp. Once there, she started cooking dinner, a stew of fish and wild vegetables, transformed Ryoga back to human and then pounded him into the ground when he inevitably attacked. Ranma played out the fight, often taking punishing blows from Ryoga before exhibiting her normal speed and skill to finish the battle.

Ranma wiped the blood from her face, made sure Ryoga was conscious again, and served the stew. She was gentle, yet distant, making sure their injuries were treated and, later, that they were made as comfortable as possible in their respective beds.

Then she had disappeared back into the woods. Akane had been too tired to protest or wonder why she wasn't sleeping at the camp.

The next day, Ranma opened festivities by simply attacking without warning, grabbing Akane by the front of her pajamas and hurling her into the water at the lake's edge. Akane screamed as she felt the water close over her head, but quickly found it was only waist deep. Coughing and hacking, she thrashed her way back to shore where Ranma was under assault from a furious Ryoga.

Akane had not paused, angrily viewing this as an opportunity to get some of her own back. Ranma saw her coming and simply tossed Ryoga into the water as she had Akane. The splash of the boy turning pig was immediately followed by a series of a dozen unanswered kicks and punches that drove Akane back into the water. She felt every blow hammer home with bruising force. The last had been a foot that swung across and rocked her head back, driving her almost to unconsciousness. The water had revived her, along with the squealing of the floundering P-chan. Ranma, standing aloof, almost sneering on the shore, had driven her to enraged tears.

"Why are you doing this, Ranma?" she screamed at her.

"This ain't the dojo, Akane. This is reality, not a polite dance. We don't bow to each other; we don't stop and ask if the other is all right. We hit, we take hits and we plan strategies ta win." Ranma tilted her head, waiting to see if Akane would attack, ignoring the question. "Instead of tryin' ta block my attacks, ya should have risked taking a hit so you could start an attack yourself. Ya never win if ya don't break the flow of yer opponent's offense. It don't matter that the attacker's better'n you. Yer life depends on it." The redhead tapped her foot impatiently, pausing only to kick P-chan back in the water when he attacked. "You waitin' fer somethin'?" She waited some more, but when Akane finally rose and began squeezing water out of her pajamas, she turned and began walking away. "I guess yer not that hungry, student," she called back over her shoulder. "I was gonna let ya have some breakfast, but if ya even want dinner today, ya better catch me! Cause ya ain't gonna get it any other way!" She broke into an easy run and disappeared into the woods.

Akane and Ryoga both searched, but did not find the elusive redhead. They also didn't eat that day.

This went on for ten days, ten brutal days, while Akane fought for food against a smugly critical Ranma, and learned how to fall from ever-higher points and into more dangerous areas.

Ranma had her using the trees as roads through the forest, leaping from branch to branch, even blindfolded. Every once in a while, she'd make a dangerous mistake and Ranma would catch her, set her on her feet and tell her point by point what she did wrong. Then she'd make her do it again. If the mistakes were not life threatening, Ranma stood back and let Akane fall and bruise and feel the pain of her endeavor.

Every once in a while, Akane would break through some barrier, catch her fiancé and deal punishing blows that might have killed anyone else. Ranma would pick herself up, nod and drive the training that much harder. Always watching with a face of stone, always in the cursed form bequeathed by Nyanniichuan.

Every evening, Ranma would make sure Akane got back to camp. If the training had been satisfactory in Ranma's eyes, she prepared dinner, un-pigged and pounded Ryoga when he attacked. She served dinner, treated injuries and discussed problems with the techniques and strategies Akane had employed. Then she made sure Akane and Ryoga were as comfortable as they could be made and vanished into the woods.

As the days marched on, Akane missed fewer meals.

Ryoga was appalled. In many ways it made his own 'Breaking Point' training seem tame, but every time he protested, every time he tried to intervene, Ranma pounded him, 'pigged' him and the training went on.

This particular evening, Ryoga decided a change was in order. He watched Ranma start a stew simmering in a large tin pot. Then she had brought over the cup of hot water to pour over P-chan's head. Instead of attacking Ranma, he glared at the petite redhead and simply walked away. Ryoga tried to check on Akane, but backed away when she rebuffed him. Finally, he simply gathered a blanket around his shoulders and sat down an equal distance from them both. He was startled when Ranma handed him one of the plastic mugs. It was full of a hot chocolate mix Akane brought with her.

"Uh… Thanks, Ranma, …I think."

"Barry's doin' much better, ain't he, P-chan? He went all the way against ya last night."

"What!" Ryoga rasped. He glared at Ranma but recognized the attempt to start the hostilities. He chose a different tactic. "And here I thought you were getting slow," Ryoga smirked as the pigtailed girl's eyes narrowed.

"Heh, heh! Well, ya got that right at least." She smirked in turn, though to Ryoga's eyes it seemed somehow an empty mask. "Barry is nowhere near as fast as I am. Care ta see how long ya last against me from the get-go, piggy?"

"Did you have Barry fighting me?"

Ranma regarded Akane, all trace of levity gone. "No, Akane." She watched her across the flames and added. "I said I'd train ya, and _I_'m trainin' ya. I don't trust…" She grimaced and clenched her fists. "I'm trainin' ya." She glanced back at Ryoga, but the tension of combat had passed and it wasn't worth starting again.

"Is this business about 'earning meals' because that's what your father used to do?" Akane questioned without heat, curious but also looking for a way to attack the training's principles.

"Pops always stole the food right off my plate, Akane. He made me _earn_ my food every time we got something to eat. He never stinted himself." She stirred the stew for a while, tasting and occasionally adding ingredients. Finally, to the accompaniment of multiple stomach growls she announced, "It's done." She ladled out generous helpings. As she ate, she explained, "I eat what you eat, when you eat. That way I can judge if the training's too much for ya." Several voracious minutes later, she informed her, "Akane, you are gonna be in real pain tomorrow. I think yer fast enough, now. We start training at dawn on the Kachu Tenshin Amiguriken."

As usual, Ranma seemed to vanish into the trees.

The fire popped and hissed at the two figures that remained. They thought their separate thoughts and kept their silence. The past week and a half had been hard on them both.

Ryoga was used to pain. He had dreamed of time alone with Akane. Time where Ryoga the man, could speak to Akane the woman — time without Ranma there to interfere. Yet this past week he retreated to his sleeping roll hardly daring to face her. It was not just that he had wronged her with his hidden agenda and invasion of her privacy. She seemed to listen to him when he tried to explain why he had done it, but she had offered neither forgiveness nor rejection.

A handful of times they had been driven to use the shelter together to escape the rain. She had acted as if he were no more than a log or a stone that occupied the same general space. Ryoga wanted to comfort her, but her bearing accepted nothing and gave nothing.

Akane seemed more withdrawn, more fragile this evening, than he had ever seen her and more alone. From everything he knew about her dreams as she had related them to P-chan, she should be dancing with joy at the prospect of learning one of Ranma's most devastating moves. Looking at her, he remembered what Barry had said about Ranma. About how he used manners and insults to keep people away. Especially people he cared about. He remembered how he, Ryoga, had mockingly told Ranma that Ranma was more alone than he was. He thought about whom Ranma had insulted the most often yet never touched until now. Ranma had always protected Akane. Now he was attempting to ensure that Akane could protect herself… because Ranma no longer believed that he would be there to protect her.

"Pain most keenly felt where love is grasped and lost, till one is left wondering which is worst, the love lost, or the love denied."

"What?"

Ryoga started and turned to see Akane's eyes on him. Embarrassed, he uttered a nervous laugh and brought his hand self-consciously behind his head. Akane frowned, irritated.

"Why did you say that, Ryoga?" she demanded. Akane was upset. The remark had struck a chord in her. "Was that supposed to be about you?"

"No. About Ranma." He sighed. "I should never have come back. I've ruined everything between you. I… I should never have come back."

"Well, I'm glad I finally know the truth," she said sharply. She turned away, but it only revealed her profile in the firelight. After a long silence she asked more quietly, "How does that apply to Ranma?"

"You don't understand, Akane?" Ryoga was astonished. He knew she hid things from herself; his own attempts to win her from Ranma had been facilitated by this blindness. "It's hard to believe that I understand Ranma better than you do." He stared at her suddenly angry at the apparent indifference he saw. "He told me once, but I didn't believe him, why he insults everybody, why he pushes them away. I even know why he never said he loves you."

The silence was like a heavy weight in the dark. Even by the firelight, Ryoga could see that Akane had gone pale. She licked her lips and tried to think of something to say. It took a while.

"So..." she said finally, "does Ranma love me?"

"It's not that easy, Akane. That's a question I will not answer."

"Damn you!" Akane withdrew into her cloaking blanket. "Just another joke on the baka tomboy. Is Ranma out there laughing?"

"Ranma may be out there, Akane," Ryoga sighed, retreating to his bedroll, "but I doubt very much that he has anything to laugh about." He was putting together a lot of pieces lately and didn't like his part in the mess one bit. If he was right, his long plotted revenge was now complete. If so, it was a bitter, bitter dish.

Deep in the woods a tree fell. It indeed made sound though the cause of its fall was not really listening.

As she had done every night since the training began, Ranma leaped over the falling trunk and unleashed her skills at yet another hapless piece of vegetation. As it shattered under her blows, a boulder the size of a car was unfortunate enough to catch her attention. Before long it was gravel. Soft plants were reaped as if by a scythe, then shredded. Ranma moved like a creature of air, a cyclone of violence that begged for release. Tears poured down her face, to salt the path of destruction she had sown.

'_Ranma, stop this,'_ Barry yelled as loud as he could over the roar of the Dragonball Z theme song that played again and again in the tortured recesses of her mind. _'Dammit, Ranma, you're driving me nuts with that damn music! Ranma! You won't live to finish Akane's training if you don't calm down. Ran-MA! Don't you dare!'_

Ranma shifted from destroying trees to bouncing off them. As it was nearly pitch dark, this ring-around-the-forest tree-pong was nauseatingly disorienting to Barry. Small animals, terrorized, charged out of the way of the raging martial artist. Finally, it happened. A nest of feral cats exploded from under her feet and one became entangled for long seconds as its claws caught in the weave of the silk shirt. Frenzied weeping changed suddenly to shrieks of fear, then…

"mmmmmmmMMMIIAOOOWwwww..."

'_Ranma?'_

A cat in human form padded through the woods like a ghost.

* * *

A girl in cat form leaped over the wall at the Tendo dojoand scouted around. For a change, Shampoo was not looking for Ranma but for a certain black pig. In her mouth she carried a plastic bag.

Cologne had shrugged after P-chan's fate was finally revealed. He was expendable, not an Amazon, after all. While they all had been horrified by the revelation that P-chan was now an 'it', what was done was done. It was however, a very doubtful shrug. They all knew, despite Ryoga being an outsider, he had been an ally. That meant some action had to be taken.

Both Mousse and Shampoo felt far guiltier about the incident than Cologne, having instigated it. Shampoo thought that at worst, Ryoga would lose his place in the Tendo house. At best, the pervert-girl might be forced to marry him, removing her from contention. She was uncertain about the customs the outsiders had.

The Amazons kept only sporadic contact with the outside, usually just enough to manage trade and oversee developments in magic, science and technology that might threaten them. Interpersonal relations had been gleaned from a variety of what Shampoo had long felt were really stupid sources. Shampoo acted like a bimbo primarily because all her sources told her that outsider men preferred their women to act like bimbos. Had Ranma ever seen her resume and educational credentials, he would have been shocked.

Shampoo shook herself and used ears and nose to find the stillness that indicated safety as she moved through the house. Though it was not the only reason she was here, she had to find Ryoga and ask if she could somehow help him, even if it was to give him honorable death. She smelled his scent and moved carefully toward it. A quick glance revealed that, as expected, the family was at dinner. Surprisingly, Ryoga, or rather P-chan in this form, was wandering around the low table, apparently waiting for scraps. Finally she moved upstairs. To her surprise, his scent was strongest, not in Akane's room, but Nabiki's.

She tried the door, but found it latched. That presented no problem, in and of itself; she was quite capable of leaping up and turning the knob. Inside, she used a paw to hook under the door to close it. Then she searched the room. Ryoga's pig-form scent was strong in the room. Under the bed, she discovered the faint scent of blood.

Leaping up to the computer, she tried to access the database, a difficult task with paws. Jumping down again, she punctured the first compartment of the plastic bag, which sprayed her with hot water.

Damp and naked, but human, she tapped rapidly at the keys, showing a startling facility with Japanese computer terminology and idiosyncrasies. Finding it password protected, she debated then tried the backdoor code that Cologne had given her. Shampoo gave no thought as to how it had been obtained. It worked and that was all that mattered. She probed for the latest activity.

She was astonished at what she found. There were e-mails of course, some personal documents and day-schedules, but very little to do with finances. The whole thing looked disgustingly like the correspondence of any average Japanese girl. The Internet files were more interesting in what was implied about 'mercenary-girl'. Apparently, Nabiki set her computer to erase records of website visits the same day. Shampoo knew, if Nabiki did not, that such files were recoverable, if you knew what you were doing. An eyebrow perked up as she reviewed the past week. Especially the files dated immediately around the time of Akane's disappearance. Maybe she was calling the wrong sister 'pervert-girl'.

A noise in the hallway carried to Shampoo's sensitive ears. Without undue haste, she closed out of the computer and ripped the remaining compartment of the bag with her teeth. Carefully, she poured cold water over her head and glided under the bed, taking the trash with her. The door opened and closed; she'd cut it fine. Bare feet padded across the floor and the western-style bed squeaked as someone, probably Nabiki, sat down.

"Here you are." Nabiki set down a plate of scraps and then a small black pig. "Boy! Am I going to be glad when Akane gets back! No more pets for me!" The feet left the floor as the owner stretched out on the bed. A faint rustling betrayed that she was reading a book or magazine.

Just beyond the draping bed sheets, a small black pig snarfed a plate of table scraps with enthusiastic squeals. Shampoo's stomach growled. Kasumi's cooking was as good or better than her great-grandmother's and she had missed meals as a punishment for writing that letter. Revealing Ryoga's secret without clearing it with Cologne first had been a stupid waste of resources as far as the matriarch was concerned. The pig heard the sound and oriented, without stopping its headlong attempt to choke itself on its meal, on the hidden cat. As soon as it finished its food, P-chan II charged under the bed.

"MWRRROOOWWR!" 'He bitme!'

Fur on end in outrage, Shampoo left the dubious cover of the bed to face her opponents in the open.

Nabiki recovered rapidly from her shock of having a cat scream under her bed. She scooped up the aggressive pig and regarded her uninvited guest. Shampoo returned her gaze coolly and used peripheral vision to ascertain that both door and window were closed and latched.

"Well, well, well, Shampoo! Fancy meeting you here." Nabiki smirked. "Did you want a date with P-chan?" Of course Shampoo could make no reply. Choosing pride, confident in the result, she turned and stiffly paced to the door, tail high. Once there, she sat and gave Nabiki a single disdainful glance over her shoulder. It was more than obvious she wanted to leave.

Nabiki briefly considered putting P-chan II on the floor to give Shampoo a hard time. She had had four choices at the shop where she got him and chose this one in particular when Masuranoya mentioned it didn't like cats. Having it around might reduce damage by reducing Ranma's Cat-Fist episodes. Nabiki decided that it wasn't worth the potential pain. She'd likely have all three of the Chinese after her if she deliberately injured Shampoo.

"Oh, very well! If you're going to be like that." She walked to the door and opened it, allowing the offended cat to leave. "You know, I don't think P-chan likes you very much." Shampoo sniffed and exited with a flick of her tail. "I wonder why?"

With Shampoo gone, Nabiki lay back on her bed and watched the small black pig run around on the floor. Shampoo wasn't normally into snooping on the rest of the family.

"Why would that bimbo come in here?" She glanced around her room. 'Everything seems in place. No, it couldn't be… Not that airhead! The computer?' She felt the computer. It was warm.

"So-ho! The bimbo's got more brains than she's letting on?" Nabiki opened a program and began asking her computer questions.


	10. Guest Ki: Night School

**Guest Ki: Chapter 9**

_**Night School**_

Akane woke slowly and cried out as she turned. _Kami_, was she stiff! She wept silently and forced her body to move, just as she had every day for the last ten days now. Ranma was pushing her to the very limits of what she could take. She had begged, pleaded, screamed and sulked since he had arrived, trying to get him to take her seriously as a martial artist. Apparently, he was now. She still couldn't believe that he was actually, really, _hitting_ her! Her dreams had been tumbled collages of Ranma in various stages of jerk-hood underscored by Ryoga's 'I even know why he never said he loves you'.

Her tears though, were for what she feared that meant. He had told her often enough that he could hit just about anybody, except her. He never explained why and Akane was finally beginning to wonder. Had she actually walked away the day she first discovered Ryoga's secret, she would have made another huge mistake, she now realized. One she would have regretted the rest of her life. Akane cursed herself, her runaway imagination, her nasty temper and her sharp tongue before she staggered out of the sleeping bag and took stock of the new day.

The day promised rain, the sky dark and threatening. She tried to judge what time it was. She could tell it was well past dawn. She crouched back under the covers long enough to dress, then stumbled over to where Ryoga lay curled in a tight ball in his bedding.

Soon she was shaking Ryoga awake.

"Wake up, Ryoga!" She was practically slamming him against the ground. "It's way past dawn and Ranma never showed up! Something's wrong!"

Ryoga cranked open an eye and blinked at her. Then he took in what he was seeing.

"Kami, Akane!" Because of the schedule they had been keeping, the lost-boy had not seen Akane in direct sunlight since the training started. Most of Akane's early bruises were fading now, but she still bore beautiful black and blue and green and yellow patches that told their story. This was just the first time he had really gotten a good look at her in daylight. She looked as if she was beaten to within an inch of her life. Ryoga's face twisted. How dare Ranma do this to Akane! "He's going to pay for that!"

"Baka!" she said crossly, sweeping the forest with anxious eyes. "I've been begging him since he came to take me seriously. I only got what I asked for."

"But..."

"Drop it, Ryoga." She sucked in a painful breath as she rose to her feet. "Nothing's broken. Besides, something else has happened. Ranma never came this morning."

Ryoga glanced around then up at the sky. He estimated it was about 8 o'clock. "Maybe it's another of his stupid training ideas?" But even he sounded doubtful.

"Come on," she said, extending a hand. He looked at it as if it would bite him. She glared at him. "If Ranma's in trouble, anything that could stop him is going to need both of us."

Ryoga finally took her hand. Apparently he was used to sleeping in his clothes.

"Ryoga, can you track?"

"Ummm... No."

"You mean to tell me, you live outdoors all the time and you can't track?"

"If I could track, I wouldn't get lost, Akane!" Ryoga slapped a hand over his mouth and blushed. He'd yelled at Akane!

"Oh, sorry!" Akane thought. "How about as a pig?"

Ryoga looked shocked at the suggestion. "Uh, um... Do I have to?"

"Don't worry, Ryoga," she said as she retrieved her pack from the lean-to. "I'll bring along some thermoses of hot water and your clothes."

He stood obediently as she poured cold water on him and gave a curious "Bwee!" as she tied a long string around his neck.

"I need to be sure I don't lose you," she explained. "Let's go!"

P-chan snuffled about for a bit, then moved towards the forest. Akane decided Ranma had been using one of the sealed techniques his father had developed, because the path went straight across open terrain where she should have been plainly visible to them the previous evening. P-chan seemed certain and pushed on.

Towards the opposite side of the island in a hollow, they came across the first downed trees and crushed boulders. A tornado could not have done a more thorough job. Within a thirty meter circle, trees as thick as Akane's waist were ripped and broken; often, larger trees were cracked and leaning.

There were no scorch marks, so Ranma had done all this without overt ki techniques. There was some indication that Ranma had been coming here every evening, enlarging the circle of destruction meter by meter. Even with Akane's new skills, it wasn't easy crossing this area; but they had to, to find a clue to Ranma's fate. It was rough on Ryoga as well. Akane's skills were not perfect yet, and more than once he was squished as she slipped and fell.

Then in one area, the damage was subtly different. Even large trees had not escaped. Akane looked at the ends of the sectioned wood. In some places wood was shredded like excelsior; in others, the wood was cut clean through, as if by an ax or sword, and the edges were so smooth, they might have been polished and waxed.

"Oh, no," Akane moaned in sudden comprehension. "He's gone into Nekoken!" Ryoga backed away alarmed. "Ryoga, is Ranma still in his cursed form?"

Ryoga sniffed about reluctantly, then nodded. The tang of maleness had been absent in Ranma's scent. Ryoga looked about nervously. Ranma in Cat-Fist meant it was very bad to be a small animal. Being close to Akane and the hot water was his only hope if Ranma-cat showed up.

"Find him, Ryoga!"

Ryoga looked up at her, eyes bugging. 'You must be kidding!' he seemed to say. Then with a heavy sigh, he took up the trail.

It was rough. Ranma apparently moved through the trees as often as on the ground. When the trail went tree-borne Akane was forced to follow. Once in a tree, often their only clue was which side of the trunk had the marks of Ranma's leap to the next. The rain began then, causing them to push ever harder; too much of this and the trail would be washed away.

It was well past noon when they tracked Ranma to the place he had cached all the food. A portion of the supplies had been ruined by the neko-claws of kithat had opened the containers. The steady rain made a soggy mess out of the residue. They made a hard decision and spent an hour gathering the supplies and hoisting them out of reach once more. The rain poured down then and they retreated to their camp. It was late afternoon when they arrived utterly exhausted.

Huddled in the lean-to, Akane sat under a blanket and held P-chan much as she had before she discovered his secret. Ryoga wasn't complaining. He was cold and bruised and the warmth of her body was both familiar and welcome, especially in his pig-form. She sat there rocking in an agony of indecision.

"Oh, Ryoga, what are we going to do?"

"Wee-Bwee-Hooo!"

Rain fell in torrents, soaking the ground and raising the level of the lake by nearly a foot. The noise was deafening. Finally however, as hard rains often do, it came to a nearly complete halt, leaving only an occasional raindrop to ring the water in lake and puddles.

"There won't be any trail to follow, will there, Ryoga?" She set him down and reached for the thermos of water. She hoped it would still be warm enough, as most of the firewood would be too wet to heat more. "He could be anywhere out there, hurt, maybe dying! How…"

Then something moved silently in the shadows behind them. P-chan whirled and squealed in warning. Both skittered out of the lean-to take up defensive stances as best they could in the soggy clearing.

* * *

The last week had been as hellish on Barry as it had been on the other three. Ranma set super-human standards for himself and somehow made them work, most of the time. It was bad enough to essentially torture Akane into putting out her best effort, but inside Ranma had bled for every bruise, every drop of blood and every insult he inflicted. He demanded that Barry observe Akane continuously with the ki-vision to better determine her physical condition and reserves. He pushed the girl to those limits and somehow knew immediately when Barry tried to underestimate a little to spare her. What made it worse for Ranma was that Barry, having taught equitation to paying customers, couldn't help chiming in, questioning his tactics.

Most paying customers wouldn't have lasted two seconds under Ranma's brutal regimen. In this particular case however, Barry was wrong. Ranma was running Boot Camp, not the School for the TERMinally AGravating Association of Neatly Turned-out Socialclimbers (a.k.a.: TERMAGANTS). All Barry's voiced doubts did, was drive the martial artist into a frenzy of guilt and self-loathing, which he took out on the rocks and trees of the island's far side.

On top of that, Ranma had stayed in female form the entire time. It allowed Barry to experience things his wife could only have told him about (Do not get hentai thoughts here!), and led him to disregard a few that his wife claimed were female conditions, but which may more accurately have been described as out-of-condition conditions.

All told, it had him worrying about his own masculinity and whether or not he might somehow return home (if he did at all) with the Jusenkyo curse. The punishment Ranma inflicted nightly on him/her-self had been as painful for Barry as for the girl. Ranma's normal consideration for others' pain had been consumed by the need to strike and push her limits until it felt like the flesh was burning from her bones.

Meanwhile as intended, Akane had thrived and developed, if not happily then effectively and far faster than even Ranma had believed possible.

Every day except that last one, Ryoga had objected to the training, usually with offered violence, only to be thrown into, led into or splashed with cold water to 'pig' him, then ignored. At night when Ranma reversed the process, Ryoga would attack her, which Ranma left Barry to deal with, at least until the enraged young man seemed to be getting too much of an advantage, when Barry would have to turn it over to Ranma to finish. The pain received in the attacks seemed to be further punishment Ranma was willing to accept in payment for what she was doing to Akane.

Nekoken had come as an extremely unpleasant surprise. Several times since they'd joined up, Ranma had avoided felines with a distinct shudder. This was disappointing to Barry who rather liked cats. Ranma admitted to ailurophobia and had mentioned Nekoken, but clamped down reflexively on the sensitive topic, not even needing the Dragonball Z cover music before banishing the reference from his conscious mind. When the feral cats had blown up in his face, Barry had been aware of a tremendous flare and twist of Ranma's internal ki, especially the ki most closely associated with the conscious mind.

Barry barely managed to avoid getting pulled down with him. The unexpected yowling and slashing of the cats in the dark panicked him as well. As the change completed, Ranma was gone. Memories were still there, but there was not enough higher consciousness left to manage or utilize them. In its place was a highly energized ki, a self-identification as a cat, an urge to seek food and comfort and, finally, a gentle playfulness and sense of mischief that was all that Barry could identify as part of the conscious Ranma. Worse, despite the sense of urgency, Barry could not take control of Ranma's body while it was in Nekoken. Attempts to manipulate Ranma's ki, as Ranma had done when Barry nearly blasted Ryoga, were so painful to Barry that he stopped immediately. Imaging things that neko-Ranma wanted worked better, so Barry concentrated on food in the hope he could get Ranma back to camp where Akane or Ryoga might know what to do.

They ended up at a point far distant from the campsite where Ranma had earlier stashed all of the party's food. Barry winced as claws of ki shredded metal, canvas and paper with equal facility. Barry, with nothing else to do, took notes on how the Nekoken utilized ki. Ranma's appetite had not suffered from the change either. Hunger satisfied, neko-Ranma stretched and sent a yowl ringing out into the surrounding forest. Barry would have frowned had he been able to. Why did that sound familiar?

Neko-Ranma stretched out comfortably on a raised flat rock that was mostly dry and for a few minutes Barry thought she was going to go to sleep, a concept he welcomed as well. After scratching herself through the expediency of rubbing against the rock's surface, she rolled over on her stomach and, bracing herself on her forearms, yowled again, arching her back slightly then pressing herself very flat against the ground. Barry, having spent 14 hours a day in a barn with dozens of cats around, suddenly knew what was going on. He counted the days. It didn't seem to fit… unless you counted the biological clock based on the length of time Ranma had been forced to stay female.

Most human women pay attention to the calendar because four days or so out of every month are messy, uncomfortable and require some planning to get through with dignity. Animals, however, are equally sensitive to the other part of the cycle and react to the biological imperative with programmed enthusiasm. Yep, neko-Ranma was in season!

After that it had truly been hell, coercing neko-Ranma through the woods and back to the campsite. Mostly it was done with images of the dark-haired girl calling to neko-Ranma and the memories of being stroked by the girl in this condition. It was possible that Ryoga's presence also played a part to the fairly noisy quasi-cat at that point. Barry wasn't concerned too much about Ranma losing her virtue. Ryoga was hardly likely to get romantic with Ranma regardless of the circumstances and there weren't any large felines native to Japan. It was the sheer embarrassment of the situation. In any case, he finally got Ranma to the camp... and no one was there. Neko-Ranma continued to sprawl and yowl until the rain drove her into the shelter and exhaustion finally pushed her into sleep.

* * *

"wwwWWAAH! AHHhhhh... wwwWWAAH! AHHhhhh... wwwWWAAH! AHHhhhh..."

The odd sound came from the back of the shelter. Akane tentatively reached into the shelter for her pack and extracted a battery-operated lantern. As the light flared, the interior of their shelter became visible. There, lying on her back and peacefully snoring, was the missing martial artist. Akane and P-chan's eyes met.

Seconds later a short, red-haired form somersaulted out into the clearing. She came to rest in a hip-deep puddle; her eyes wide and facing back at the two irritated individuals glaring at her across the distance traveled in a perfectly rotten day.

"Wadja do that for?"

'_You'd think you'd learn to stay on your side, you red-haired twit!'_ grumped Barry. _'So that's the Nekoken, huh?'_

"What?"

* * *

On an island in a lake in the mountains west of Tokyo, three martial artists — a girl, a boy-who-was-sometimes-a-pig and a girl-who-was-usually-a-boy — sat around a fire. As it had been a perfectly rotten day, the girl demanded to cook. The girl (who was usually a boy) began to make typical comments about this idea and seemed to be silently pummeled from within. After a moment to reflect, this individual agreed, much to the silent dismay of the boy (who was sometimes a pig), but on two conditions.

The girl had to taste everything first and nothing went in the pot if it didn't come from their food supplies or hadn't been approved by the other two.

The passable, spicy, fish chowder resulted in praises and relief on one hand and shy, beaming appreciation on the other.

Ranma rose to her feet, and regarded the others.

"Well, it looks like ya got in some good trainin' in spite of my screw-up." She grimaced and looked at her feet. "I'm sorry, Akane. We'll start your Amiguriken trainin' tomorrow." She turned to fade into the woods as she had the past week, when the dark-haired girl leaped to her feet.

"You're sorry?" Akane growled. "You're _sorry_!" Ranma turned back tight-lipped, ready to face more abuse as her fiancée stomped up trembling. Hands grabbed the smaller girl by the shirtfront and lifted her off the ground. Ranma didn't resist.

"Not only did I miss my training today," Akane began with a shake, "but we spent at least sixteen hours hunting you down! We lost part of our supplies because you got hungry while you were in Nekoken. I am not happy about all this." She shook Ranma again and, to the redhead's horror, began softly weeping.

"Ah, jeez! Akane, I—_Urk_!" Then Ranma's eyes bulged as Akane caught her in a fierce hug.

"Don't you ever, _ever_ scare me like that again!" Ranma caught her breath as Akane slammed her back down to a sitting position beside the fire. She shied away as Akane plopped herself down and glared.

"Wa-wadja want, Akane?"

"You are staying _here_! _Not_ out in the woods!" Each word was delivered like a blow and while Ranma flinched at each delivery, her face, which had been so blank of late, showed alarm. Akane crossed her arms and said flatly, "I'll climb into your sleeping bag again, if I have to, to make sure you do!"

Inside Ranma's head, Barry chuckled, _'Tempting, isn't it? Too bad you've got a built-in chaperone, right now.'_

'Shut up, pervert!' Ranma's fist clenched in response to Barry's jibe.

"Ran-MA!" Ranma jerked back to the outer world.

"Okay, Akane! Whatever you say!" Her hands came up wardingly. She turned away, grumbling about stupid, bossy, un-cute tomboys.

(BAM! CRUNCH! POW! SMASH! WUMP!)

'Owowowowow-ow!-OW!'

'_I... (Groan) …guess this means... (Hiss!) …you two...have... (Owie!) …made up? Right?'_

They all slept in camp that night and Akane placed her bedroll within arm's reach of Ranma. It did not surprise Barry at all to discover their hands tightly entwined across that space the following morning.

* * *

"I thought this was done with nuts in a fire?" Akane looked doubtfully at the pile of berries at Ranma's feet. She picked one up and examined it in the early morning light — small, dark, about the size of a thumbnail. "Or maybe with fish, like you learned it at the carnival?" She looked hopefully at Ranma.

"There are lotsa ways to build speed, Akane," she replied smirking, sure to get a reaction out of the girl. "We're gonna work on 'em all this week." Ranma continued to train his fiancée while in cursed form. Though at Akane's insistence, she transformed in the evenings before dinner, much to Barry's relief.

"Cologne said it's traditionally done with chestnuts, but you can use fish, or anything for that matter, in water or..." She flicked a berry, which splatted against Akane's gi.

"Hey! That stains!"

"Awww! Which do you want more, Akane, the Amiguriken or a clean martial arts uniform?" Ranma sneered. "Oooh! It's so important to be a fashionable and neat martial artist!" Ranma brought her hands up and acted like a ditz. "I can't stand to get sweaty or dirty!" The last she intoned in a high-pitched, nasal whine that made Barry wish he had teeth to grind. Akane's reaction was immediate.

"Grrr! Get on with it, Ranma!"

"Okay, Akane. We'll work up till I hafta use Amiguriken to throw them. Here we go!"

Splat! Splat! Splat! Splat! Splat! Splat!Splat!Splat!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!

"Auggh!"

"I wouldn't worry too much, Akane," observed Ryoga. "I think spots look fine on you." He was a little too close to the dark-haired girl.

"Baka!" (BAM! punt! splash! 'Bwee!')

"Feel better?" Ranma sarcastically inquired as she looked out into the lake. "_No_! You baka! This way! Over here! Oh, hell!" Ranma retrieved Ryoga and his clothes from the lake. Minutes later, with P-chan and his clothing drying out on the shore, they tried again.

Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!

Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat! Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!Splat!

The sequence lasted two seconds and this time Akane pulled it off. Her euphoria lasted only momentarily. In her excitement, she wiped her hands on her gi. She now had distinct purple handprints, many in suggestive areas. A red-haired girl and a small pig snickered. Both P-chan and Ranma landed in the lake this time.

Just before dinner, Akane retreated downstream to wash and change. She removed her clothing and discovered to her annoyance that the juice from the berries had soaked not only the gi, but also her underclothes and skin as well. She found a reasonably comfortable rock and began to scrub... and scrub... and scrub some more.

Her enraged screams brought both Ranma and Ryoga rushing down the shore ready for World War III. Ranma boggled, then groaned. Ryoga boggled and stared. Where had she gotten that tight purple suit? His nose twitched. She might as well be naked.

As she turned away, yelling about 'peeping perverts', he suddenly realized that she was naked... and purple. Ranma had not directed any berries at her face, so the result was a vividly purple Akane from the neck down to her knees.

Well, the front of her anyway.

Ranma averted her eyes and snagged Ryoga in pig-form. He had developed a massive nosebleed and fainted into the water at the lake's edge. Backing away quickly, she called out to the snarling girl. "Don't worry, Akane! Yer almost fast enough now. Maybe tomorrow we can try it with the fire and nuts!" Her sense of humor asserted itself and she added. "That is unless ya want to even out yer color and try the technique with yer back turned?"

Akane went dead silent for two seconds. Then, "rrrRRRAAANNN-MMMAAA!"

But Ranma was already fleeing back up the shore laughing hysterically.

"Kachu Tenshin Amiguriken!" Two voices shouted in unison.

Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!

Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!

Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!

Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!

Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!Sptt!

The air ripped with the sound of its own displacement. Hands dealt and hands received. For an interminable fifteen seconds, the movement continued at an inconceivable pace. With a last crackling clap of miniature thunder, two young women faced one another across ten meters of space. Steam drifted from raised forearms, breath sighed in unison from parted lips and whistled between clenched teeth. Brown eyes glared into blue.

Lips quirked and the blue eyes crinkled.

"Nice job, student."

_"YES!" _

Akane danced around in an overabundance of reaction ending in a crushing hug for her teacher. Not far away, a mouth quirked in a sad smile exposing rather more canine than is usual in humans. Ryoga slowly walked over to the celebrating pair and grinned again, a bit more naturally. Ranma's eyes were bulging and she was trying to get Akane's attention before her air gave out.

"Heh-heh! Umm... Akane?" Ryoga ventured, biting his lip. "Akane! Ranma needs to breathe. _Hey, Akane_!"

The cavorting merely changed focus.

"_Urk_!" Ryoga said intelligently. Damn, Akane was strong! She danced around for another minute while Ryoga turned a nasty shade of purple before she finally released him. He hit the ground beside a recovering Ranma.

"It's a good thing we're tough martial artists, isn't it, Ryoga?"

Ryoga groaned.

* * *

Akane was in heaven. She had the two best martial artists she knew training her. That one of them was her fiancé and steadily showing her greater attention was icing on the cake. At Ranma's urging, Ryoga started sparring with Akane as well. His initial gentle defense was cut through like butter and he rapidly discovered that Akane took no prisoners.

After that, he threw more and more into offense, only to discover that the only way to beat her without hurting her was to wear her out. Ranma, or Barry using Ranma's skills, was able to deal with her but it took a bit longer every day. They solidified the techniques Akane was familiar with and helped her develop new ones. Ranma was particularly miffed when Akane proved she could nearly match his ability at high-speed multiple kicks. Ryoga grinned; it was good to see the arrogant Ranma sweating a bit.

Occasionally, Ranma would decide Akane was too full of herself and made her cook. While this often brought her back to earth, the simple requirements of camp cooking gave her an edge. Provided she remembered to taste everything she was beginning to earn some praise from her fiancé in that field as well.

* * *

A week later, as it got dark, Akane and Ryoga were given a light show courtesy of Ranma and Barry. Akane saw for the second time the Ribbon of Light and was astonished by Ranma's super-powered ki-blast. Ranma again tried the ki-sword with better success than before. Barry had learned some things about focus from the Nekoken experience and used it to guide Ranma into solidifying the blade with a denser energy level. He was disappointed it wouldn't cut stone because he'd originally hoped for a weapon like the Nekoken claws, but under the control of Ranma's conscious mind.

After the special effects, Ranma asked Akane to throw rocks at him using Amiguriken speed. It took a bit of argument and a few calculated insults, but she agreed.

"Kachu Tenshin Amiguriken!" The pebbles were launched with blinding speed.

The whine of ricochets was loud in the lengthening shadows and Ryoga hit the dirt, yanking Akane down with him.

"What the hell was that, Ranma," Ryoga bellowed as they cautiously raised their heads again.

"Kami! Wadja hit the dirt for? I wasn't lettin' any go your way."

"Ran-MA!"

Ranma smirked and stuck his tongue out at Akane. "Chic-ken!"

(SPLOOSH!)

"It wasn't amusing," she snarled holding her canteen out and shaking it at the transformed boy. "That scared me!"

"Okay, okay! Sorry!" She twisted her shirtfront to get rid of some of the excess water. "I call it Tatehifu, 'Shield-Skin'." Ranma shrugged. "It's a rotten name, but it acts like heavy armor. I bet it could stop a cannon shell!" She rolled her eyes as they gingerly rose. "Only problem is I can't move while I'm doin' it. It's like bein' sealed in a skin-tight glass case."

"That sounds really useful," Akane drawled a little sarcastically. "Thanks, Ryoga," she said, pointing to the ground. "I felt much safer down there."

"Akane…" Ranma covered her face in disgust while Ryoga went into Akane-induced stutter-mode. It was only the ninth or tenth time that day. Akane was in tune with Ranma for a change and after a few seconds of Ryoga's verbal stumbling, she jammed her hands on her hips and glared at him.

"Ry-O-ga! What is it?"

Ryoga winced and his eyes dropped to the ground.

"Ummm… I, ahhh…" He cursed his tongue, which wouldn't even let him ask for forgiveness. "I think I ought to be getting on my way."

His audience stood slack-jawed for a second.

"Hey, Ryoga!" exclaimed Ranma. "What about the ki techniques? We were gonna…"

"Where will you go, Ryoga?" Akane looked up at Ryoga. "Will you try to find Akari again?"

Ryoga shuddered. "I couldn't go back to that, Akane. Akari is one of the sweetest girls in the world, but the pig farm... I can't ask her to give up her entire life and I couldn't live... _there_." He straightened and grinned. "But it's time to go. I guess I'll be wandering again, not that I really have any choice in the matter."

"You're not going anywhere until we can make sure you get back to Nerima all right," Akane said setting her hands on her hips and daring him to argue. "You need your pack and supplies. We'll go with you to Komoro. It has at least one train that runs straight through to Tokyo. I'm sure Kasumi can meet you."

"But… I can't ask that! Not after…"

Akane reached up and silenced him with two gentle fingers on his lips. Ryoga froze.

"Ryoga… You're forgiven, okay?" Ranma fought down a surge of jealousy as Akane stood only inches away from Ryoga. "If I had spent more time listening and less time being angry at everybody, I would have figured it out myself a long time ago."

"I'll be sorry to see ya go, P-chan," Ranma drawled as she moved, hips swaying, to interrupt the moment. "When I think of all the times I was yankin' yer chain with some disguise or trickin' ya inta thinkin' ya got a girlfriend…" This elicited a scowl from Ryoga and a punch in the arm from Akane. Blue eyes looked up from the elfin face and gazed into Ryoga's green ones. "Still, no reason why I can't have a little fun with a friend." Akane and Ryoga emitted nearly identical growls.

'_Ranma,'_ Barry warned. _'Don't go there!'_

"There is one thing we need ta work out, though," Ranma added, changing the subject. "We need ta protect Akane's reputation." Ryoga wrinkled his brow in confusion. "I mean… I know ya haven't... and the Tendos know ya haven't... But its gonna be hard on Akane if we can't keep the rumor mill down to a low roar."

"What do you mean, Ranma. If P-chan's gone..."

"But P-chan ain't gone, is he, pork chop? Unless ya got some Nannichuan on ya, people are gonna find out. All ya need is fer word ta start gettin' around that ya change into a little black pig with a bandanna..." She cracked her knuckles. "The simplest thing ta do is that anyone stupid enough to openly say anything gets pounded by whoever's closest for being a pervert."

"Yeah," grunted Ryoga with more animation than they'd seen in him that day. "I can live with that!"

"Baka!" Akane said in disgust. The two blanched. "Violence is not the way to deal with the rumor mill. You guys do that and the rumors will only get quiet when we're around." She watched the light of battle die in their eyes with some satisfaction. "The next thing you know, some clueless reporter is sniffing around trying to check a story about two guys, two girls, a cross-dresser and a pig in _very _nasty circumstances. Let's get Nabiki to handle this."

The others blanched again. Ranma was never happy dealing with the middle Tendo sister. Ryoga muttered something under his breath and blanched because he suspected how much pain he was going to receive going public with his curse and remembered all too clearly just _how_ Nabiki trapped him before going to the vet's.

"What's wrong, Ryoga?" asked Akane crossly.

"Heh, heh-heh! Nothing, Akane, really. I... uh, just don't think I want to deal with Nabiki under the circumstances."

"What circumstances?" she said flatly with a hint of restrained mayhem.

"Ummm... You remember I bit your dad right before you left?"

(BAM!) "I just did," Akane commented blowing on her fist. Ryoga giggled a bit wildly and crawled back.

"Ummm… Well, some other things happened, uh, after you left."

"What, Ryoga?"

"Uhhh, heh-heh, heh..."

Ranma placed a restraining hand on Akane's shoulder then leaned toward Ryoga. "Ya passed the point of no return, man," she murmured to him. "If ya tell her, she'll beat on ya till she feels better. If ya don't tell her, ya get to find out how far that Bakusai Tenketsu training will take ya before ya do talk, then she'll beat on ya till she feels better." She released her hold on her fiancée and waved her in Ryoga's direction. Akane looked curiously at her, then nodded firmly as she redoubled her glare on the lost-boy.

Ryoga big-sweated and swallowed. As Akane's arm began to draw back, he began. "Well, I jumped out Akane's window and landed on Nabiki's head. I think she was going to sunbathe 'cause she had on a bikini... I think."

"You think?"

"I'm not sure. I knocked her down, but when I started to run, Kasumi was there, so I turned around and saw... saw..." he stuttered. "Anyway, there wasn't much covered so I _guess _it was a bikini..."

Akane suddenly giggled. "I know the one. Go on."

"Ryoga," inquired a puzzled Ranma. "Why were you jumping out the window?" She watched as his face went really red and he looked pointedly at the ground.

Akane's reaction was even more severe. She clapped a hand over her mouth and went white as a sheet. Ranma still heard the whispered, "Oh, kami, Ryoga!" that the hands cut off.

"C'mon, what's the big story here?" Ranma was frankly getting creeped out by the frozen tableau of Ryoga, red face looking at the ground, and Akane looking at Ryoga as if he had grown a second head. "Hel-LO?"

"Oh, Ryoga! They didn't…?"

"Didn't what?" injected the redhead.

"They... we... the vet… Oh, my _God_!"

Ranma was growing concerned. What did the vet…? "Oh, kami!" Eyes huge and hands over her own mouth, Ranma stared at Ryoga in horror. She suddenly remembered the conversation she had had with Soun and Genma just before leaving.

"Calm down, you two," Ryoga grumbled. "I got away! Okay? Ranma?"

Ranma was slumped on the ground in a faint.

Later; "So-o-o manly, Ranma! Fainting like that," Akane chided her fiancé moments later, grinning at the revived and embarrassed girl.

"C'mon, Akane! Can't a guy empathize?"

"You're not a guy right now!"

"Get me some hot water."

"Why? So you can faint again?" Akane smirked but she was relieved, too. "Or do you need to make sure everything's there?"

"_Akane_!"

Ryoga, relieved at the reduction in tension and change of subject, was encouraged to stumble on through the story of his last days at the Tendos, culminating with Nabiki capturing him from under her bed.

"She slept with you in her bed?" Ranma boggled.

"She had pictures of us… doing _what_?" Akane screeched. "But we _never_...!"

Barry smacked Ranma with a ki-jolt in order to take control and put his two cents in. "Right before taking you to the vet's, she just happened to be coming back from a bath and was stark naked when she pulled you out from under the bed?" They exchanged glances.

"_NABIKI_!"

In Nerima, a shorthaired girl sneezed as she played with a graphics-editing program on her computer.


	11. Guest Ki: Soap Operas

**Guest Ki: Chapter 10**

_**Soap Operas**_

When the helicopter landed at the tiny resort, the wind from the rotating props whipped the nearby trees into a frenzy. A skinny servant hopped out, and holding desperately onto his hat, opened the door for Tatewaki Kuno. The eldest son of the house of Kuno descended and immediately strode toward the guest registry at the lodge. The servant followed, making two trips with the bags and equipment and losing his hat, at least temporarily, in the bargain.

The tall young man regarded the inside of the rustic looking establishment and almost reconsidered. Still the doctor had advised rest and relaxation in a simple setting to avoid over-stimulation. This was certainly simple enough. He wondered if they even had running water. Kuno stepped up to the counter and bowed slightly to the old man who stood there expectantly. As expected, the bow was returned deeply, as befitting a social inferior. At least these people seemed to know their place.

Zadai smiled with pleasure as the young nobleman walked in. 'Easy money,' he thought privately as he bowed. He had despaired of finishing the guest cottage in time for the young man's arrival, but their foundling proved highly skilled in carpentry. Yasashi saw the need and responded with a practiced ease, as if restoring storm damage were an everyday occurrence. She had shingled the roof practically by herself and had done a cunning job of reinforcing a wall she found to be weak. She had even meticulously and carefully refinished wood where water had stained the surface.

'Yes,' he decided, 'Yasashi has been our luck!' This young blood would probably be nothing but trouble ordinarily, but young men have big appetites and Yasashi's skills would help them there too. Especially her okonomiyaki which was beyond superb! 'Keep a young man's belly full of good food and you don't have many complaints.'

"Welcome, Kuno-san, we have been awaiting your arrival." Zadai saw Yasashi poke her head curiously around the corner. He waved her in. "Our correspondence indicated that you planned to stay at least two weeks. Is that correct?"

"It is, good hosteller. I would like to hold open the option for an extended stay however." Kuno stood easily, his gaze fixed over Zadai's head. He seemed to ignore everything around him for some other reality.

"The cabin is a very popular part of our establishment. (You were willing to pay enough, certainly!) Perhaps we could hold it for a small fee?"

"Indeed?" Kuno pondered, ponderously. "'Tis only fair." The young man extracted a wallet from the western-cut jacket he wore. From the wallet a thick sheaf of bills was removed.

Kuno's arm arced across his body and rose then hesitated. Zadai barely restrained a flinch. He had never had it done to him, but for an instant he thought the young man was going to hit him with that wad of money. Kuno brought the sheaf before him and counted off ten ten-thousand-yen notes.

"Would this be sufficient to warranty my quarters?"

Zadai bowed a little ruffled and nodded. "Thank you, Kuno-san. We will endeavor to make your stay as pleasant as possible. If there is anything you need?" (Besides a brain, manners and a touch of reality?)

"Indeed, be sure I shall ask. Now if I could be escorted with my luggage to my suite, I would like to rest and meditate before dinner."

"Yasashi-chan will show you to the guest cabin, Kuno-san. You will appreciate our cuisine. Yasashi came to us only a few weeks ago and has been a great surprise and help to us."

Kuno nodded, bored. He glanced at the girl who bowed a little stiffly and picked up all of his bags. She turned and waited for him to follow. His eyebrow rose at the unexpected show of strength and he looked at her more closely.

Unlike her employers, she wore western-style clothing, a pants and blouse combination that revealed somewhat the feminine curves. She was nearly as tall as he and wore her shoulder-length brown hair loose. Bangs swept midway to her eyebrows and clear brown eyes met his without any visible show of emotion. Tatewaki was intrigued. She seemed familiar somehow but...

"Lead on," he said to cover his inner debate. She moved easily over the path. Kuno's servant followed helplessly along behind them both, diverting only to retrieve his hat from a bush nearby.

She reached out and slid open the shoji with a slippered foot. Marching in, she deposited the luggage to one side of the door and indicated the arrangements.

"Kuno-sempai, there are four rooms to the cabin. This, of course, is the main living area. Should business follow you, as I understand sometimes happens to a man like yourself, it is perfect for meetings. If you wish, you can simply sit and contemplate the mountains. Back here," she indicated a doorway, "is a small kitchen with a stove and refrigerator. If you are prone to late night snacking, we can stock your favorites from town." She walked to the steps. "Up there are the bedrooms, two of them. One has a western-style bed, the other a futon. Under the stairs here..." She indicated the frosted glass door. "...is the bathroom. Water is pumped daily into a solar-heated tank on the roof. I'll warn you, on really sunny days, that water gets hot enough to make tea, so turn on the cold first and adjust carefully. The furo is also large enough for a party." Yasashi stepped back to the door and waited while Kuno inspected the cabin.

"It seems quite satisfactory, if a bit rougher than I am used to." He turned back to her. "Yasashi-san, you move like a martial artist. I practice the art of kendo. Do you know of any here who might wish to spar?"

"I am unsure, Kuno-sempai. I will be happy to inquire." She bowed and turned to leave.

"A moment more, fair Yasashi." She turned back to him her flush and narrowed eyes betraying her irritation at the familiarity. "I feel I know you from somewhere. You also call me 'sempai'. Have you ever graced the locale of Nerima or attended Furinkan High School?"

Yasashi frowned then and looked at his face. Finally, she answered him.

"Not that I recall, Kuno-san."

Tatewaki sighed and bowed slightly. "Thank you for your indulgence, fair one." He turned and began giving sharp orders to the hovering servant.

As she left the cabin, Yasashi muttered, "Jackass!"

* * *

Sasuke peered around the door into the greenhouse. The coast was clear. Carrying a two-liter glass bottle, he scuttled in. It would not do to have Kodachi know he was borrowing from her stock of chemicals for his assigned project — to have Kodachi Kuno examined and possibly committed to a family-owned and operated sanitarium.

It wasn't as if she would volunteer. It was her brother's belief — and his own for that matter — that nothing short of a military operation could force her to go. Unless treachery and sneakiness were involved, and that was a Sasuke specialty!

Plan 'A' had been hidden sleep-gas tanks in the limo. Kodachi had had her own ideas and Plan 'A' had gone unused briefly. Unfortunately, Sasuke had accidentally activated the mechanism as he drove the car home without first raising the privacy window. He had taken a quick nap and the limo was presently in the shop.

Plan 'B' was drugged tea. Kodachi always asked for tea with luncheon… until today. Today she decided to have a 'diet cola' in its can for a change, something she decided she liked from America. The tea went untasted and Plan 'C' was put into action.

Plan 'C' involved electrifying the path to Midorigame's pond. Kodachi unintentionally foiled that one by trying out another Americanism she had picked up, rubber-soled walking shoes. Too bad Sasuke did not and stepped onto the path himself, thinking a connection had broken.

Kodachi had at least _noticed_ that. She turned with her plate of raw chicken destined for Midorigame's gullet, to observe the spastic movements of the little ninja. "Why, Sasuke," she exclaimed. "How thoughtful to learn the steps of the latest American dance! Is it not sad that my Ranma-sama is not here that we might join in? Those American dances inspire such heights of uncontrolled..." She fanned herself as she fantasized and Sasuke trembled and jerked his way to the power switch. "Are we expecting thunderstorms today, Sasuke? I detect the scent of ozone in the air." She turned back from the still-spasming servant to call out to her pet.

"YOOoo-hoo, Mr. Midorigame! Did oou mith meeee?"

Plan 'D' involved the greenhouse. Kodachi was a gifted horticulturist and particularly proud of her special black roses. She visited her roses first thing in the morning and at 4:00 in the afternoon, every day without fail.

Sasuke was there at 3:00 PM; carefully tipping her black roses' thorns with the liquefied version of Kodachi's own paralysis powder that was contained in the bottle he carried. He moved quickly from bush to bush, wearing plastic gloves and using an old rag. He concerned himself, in particular, with the stems where roses were ready to be pruned away. An errant drift of air lifted a particular scent to his nose and he jerked, waving one hand frantically. It wouldn't do to be paralyzed by the fumes! He wanted to be gone before...

"Sasuke!"

"M-mistress?" His head popped up and located Kodachi just inside the greenhouse door. He glanced at his watch. 3:35? She was early!

"How dreadful! What have you been doing to these bushes? Bad Sasuke!"

"But, Mistress," he whined, rubbing his hands together fitfully, "you know I'm no good at this kind of thing. It requires your special touch!" The ninja decided from her expression that a little more 'oil on troubled waters' was needed. "Oh, I try! How I try! But no one could compare to your empathetic hand and skillful trimmers."

It seemed to work. One hand went to her mouth and she turned half away, laughing softly at the praise. Sasuke sighed. If only she weren't certifiable, his life would be so much simpler! He was startled from his reverie by the steely grip on his wrist.

"Come, you silver-tongued devil of a servant," she caroled. He blanched! Now what? She began to move swiftly through the bushes, trimming as she went and depositing the stems in Sasuke's arms. Trembling, he tried to avoid the substance coating so many of the thorns but finally...

(Clatter! Thump!)

"Sasuke?" She looked at him expectantly, then checked his pulse and breathing with practiced ease. "Oh good! The potency is still high! How do you like the new liquid formula of my paralysis potion? I treated the roses before I left." He tried to answer and managed a slight hiss. "Can you still feel surface stimulation?" She pinched his cheek hard. Tears formed in his eyes and a faint whine passed his lips.

"Yes, _Yes_, YES!" She noted the reaction and clapped her hands in joy.

"At last! Success! Now Ranma-darling cannot run away when I want to play!" She danced around him in a passion of schoolgirl enthusiasm and patted the pinched cheek. "You needn't worry faithful one. I always dose myself with the antidote to avoid mishaps. OHOHOHOOHOHHohohoho!" She skipped away, the bouquet of black roses with her.

Sasuke lay on his back. He debated, once he regained muscular control, if he should tell Kodachi that her formula did present one difficulty. He had an itch at his left eye, no way to scratch and no way to tell anyone about it. Oh well, perhaps later. Now, since he was otherwise indisposed, he might as well start working out Plan 'E'.

* * *

Many miles away, Tatewaki went through yet another form, bokken flashing. He wondered how Sasuke was doing, but was unconcerned. It would probably take a while to catch his sister. He didn't care, so long as it could be done circumspectly. That was one of the reasons he made Sasuke one of his sister's legal guardians. He was sneaky enough to deal with the Black Rose. Besides, Tatewaki was here and his sister wasn't. It was one of the good things about this place.

He slipped into another set of movements and became aware that the girl, Yasashi, was watching him. He studied her surreptitiously as he completed his form. He couldn't shake the feeling that he had met her before and it disturbed him. He noticed she was watching him rather intently as well. Of course, he was a fine figure of a man that might attract such attention. He lowered his bokken and turned to face her.

"Good afternoon, fair one. Have you come to praise my skill? Or bring you word of any who might challenge me for mutual benefit?"

"Do you have any idea how stupid you sound?" Yasashi's mouth twitched with a faint smile, which took some of the sting out of the rebuke. She leaned casually, one shoulder resting against the side of the cabin.

"Some," he answered. "But it is a habit not easily broken. It is much like the patterns of my attacks and parries, a thing long-practiced and comfortable, even if in some instances, flawed." He began another set of movements.

"That's why you're looking for a sparring partner?"

"Indeed."

She sighed and glided off the wall to stand before him. Tatewaki dropped the point of his weapon and raised his eyebrows. She concentrated and slowly took up her stance.

"You would spar with me?" he asked surprised. "Though I felt you were a martial artist, I believed from our earlier encounter that you would avoid me. What style do you practice?"

"I have no idea," she answered. "Let's find out."

Kuno received a shocking kick, which he took high on his shoulder. He rolled his shoulder away and countered, careful not to use lethal force. He tried to analyze her style but was frustrated by the fact that it didn't seem completely natural to her. Unarmed combat seemed somehow wrong for her and he tapped her solidly with blows that would have been disabling had they been struck in battle with real weapons. She was still more than good enough to tag him several times in return.

He stepped back and bowed.

"Why don't you know your own school of the Art?"

At his inquiry, she tapped her head. "Amnesia, the doctor says. I don't even know who I am, much less what. I hoped sparring with you might bring something back, but..." She shrugged.

"It is the duty of the samurai to aid those in need. May I help you? My resources are considerable…"

Yasashi cut him off. "Whoa there, hotshot! Don't get me wrong, but I don't need that kind of obligation. Besides, I'd rather _know_ who I was, not simply pick up a life someone said was mine." She turned and began to walk away.

"Indeed, I can sympathize with one held in thrall of fate and circumstance. There are those that I love, likewise strong of will, yet…" His musing broke off as she reached the cabin's corner. "Wait! If you please… Perhaps there is another way I can help." He turned and called into the cabin. "Hitoshi! Bring the equipment!"

A head poked out and retreated. Moments later, the skinny servant brought out a long suitcase. It was obviously heavy and the man struggled to carry it down the steps to where they waited. Panting he sat it down and opened it. Inside were a plethora of various types of weapons, including several bokken and an authentic katana.

"Your style seems to require a weapon of some type," he suggested. "Please examine these and see if one might be familiar to you." The servant was already assembling the longer weapons and arranging them in on a collapsible display rack. "In seeking sparring partners, I tried to accommodate the absence of their chosen weapons." Yasashi waited until Hitoshi was finished, then examined what was available.

There were three bokken, a pair of nunchuku, a half dozen throwing knives of various designs, shuriken, a pair of sais and a ninjitsu sickle-and-chain. Among the larger weapons were a three-section staff, a naginata, also assembled in three pieces, and a bo staff. There was also a bow and quiver of arrows for kyudo which, from its well-used appearance, was one of Kuno's personal weapons.

Her brow furrowed in thought and attempted remembrance as she examined each weapon. She felt most comfortable with the staff, but commented that it felt 'light'. She examined the smaller weapons and, after a moment, selected two of the knives.

"I must be very irritating if you are contemplating using those on me," Kuno commented smiling. Yasashi blushed and almost put them back,then changed her mind. She stepped back from the cabin.

"Ummm… Could... uh, Hitoshi put something like a target on the side of the cabin?" The servant glanced at Kuno for confirmation and entered the cabin. He returned with a sheet of legal size paper and, using a marker, quickly drew a series of fairly even circles. The results were gratifying. Yasashi threw three sets. The first was done tentatively, one at a time. Each knife struck home on a legal-size piece of paper from a distance of twenty paces. She grew more daring then and holding the knives between her fingers, scored with sweeping high-handed throws.

"Impressive." Kuno clapped politely. "It would seem some of your skills are based in ninjitsu. My most trusted servant, Sasuke, could not have done better. Let us spar again, you with the staff now."

Strike followed counter-strike. It was more satisfying, yet predictable now to Kuno, due to the limitations any weapon placed on its user. But it was also at a much higher level of skill. He rarely found an opening and was pushed hard to defend himself. Only the fact that the staff was, apparently, merely similar to her preferred weapon allowed him any advantage.

For five minutes the strike of wood against wood sounded off the side of the mountain like firecrackers. Her style was similar in some ways to kendo, but seemed to lack thrusting attacks. Then Yasashi's sweeping strikes and counters suddenly focused in an unexpected backhanded thrust that struck the nerve cluster at the base of Kuno's breastbone. He hit the ground hard.

"That hurt, Yasashi," Kuno wheezed. After getting his breath back, he stood and regarded her. "Well struck, though. You show a fire I have experienced in only two other martial artists of your gender." He held up a hand defensively as she bridled at his comment. "Someone of your level of mastery cannot hide their candle under a basket. Surely, if the proper inquiries are made, your identity will be obvious."

Yasashi grew pensive, then depressed. "Maybe, I don't know, Kuno-sem… Kuno-san; but what if I'm better off not knowing?"

Tatewaki Kuno stood silent for long moments.

"I... may be in similar straits, Yasashi," he admitted at last. "Someone I trust informed me that I was not living in the same world as everyone else." He turned half away. "I permitted myself to be examined by a psychologist, who was willing to answer me honestly. He generally confirmed the opinion that I was not... well." He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Were I not wealthy, I would probably be confined somewhere."

"You're telling me you're nuts?"

"An acquaintance once said I had a 'different slant' on things," Kuno said wryly. He turned and looked out over the mountain, revealing his classic profile. "Still, we're both missing parts of the real world — you, your past; myself, bits and pieces along the way."

"Yes, and neither one of us knowing if we're missing anything worthwhile," Yasashi mused. She glanced at Kuno and noticed how he almost posed himself for her benefit. Something inside twisted and she muttered, "Yeah, right!"

"Excuse me?"

"Nice try, jackass!" she growled. "I am not falling for that!"

"What?" He looked so honestly confused that she almost believed she was mistaken. Then he took a stride toward her and held out his arms comfortingly. She whirled the staff in reply and drove him back to a safe distance.

"Go hit on someone else, rich man," she snarled, hurling the staff to the ground at his feet and stalking off. "I'm outa here!"

Kuno was left in confusion and an odd sense of familiarity.

* * *

Dinner was served. A cart with a built-in hot grill was wheeled into place, and Yasashi took her spot behind it. The waiting guests watched as she twirled a spatula with practiced ease and went to work.

Tatewaki Kuno sat in silence, depressed and bored. The pretty chef had not returned to spar with him and had rebuffed any further attempts of his to discover the connection he was certain existed. He was also a bit put off at the enthusiasm the others held for, what was to him, plebian fare. His nose twitched as the first okonomiyaki came off the grill and landed on his plate. A 'special' she called it. He poked at it with little enthusiasm. The orders came thick and fast, as some of the guests seemed determined to imitate the eating style of the despicable Saotome. He cut a piece and placed it in his mouth. He froze.

Okonomiyaki was better fare than he had imagined. He had only had it a few times when slumming and the only other acceptable okonomiyaki he had tasted had been at Ucchan's back in Nerima. Well, it was good to know that someone else could make the dish. At the next opportunity, he ordered another and received a bright smile from the girl, as his enthusiasm was obvious. Somehow she managed to get everyone's orders to them in good time, inevitably accurate, even the length of the table.

He left the table quite a bit fuller than he had intended. The night was clear, the moon and stars bright so far from civilization's lights. He ardently wished he could have invited either Akane or the pigtailed goddess with him, but some things a man must do without the distraction of the fairer sex.

He sat in the main room with the shoji open, enjoying the breeze and the night sounds, a cup of warm sake from his own supply in one hand. Perhaps he could convince Yasashi to spar with him again. Who knew? Perhaps there was more to divert him here than he had expected. It was certainly more restful than the craziness that existed in Nerima, as Saotome moved through the town like an avalanche, chasing after Akane with his own sister and those other two girls following close behind, contributing to the problem. In fact, one of those girls was the proprietor of Ucchan's, the only other place where he had eaten good okonomiyaki...

He sat still suddenly frowning. He was close to something, he could tell. It niggled; it gibbered; and finally... it broke through.

* * *

"_Ukyo Kuonji_!"

Zadai came down the stairs from the living quarters of the main house to see who was making such a fuss. As expected the snotty, young nobleman was there, pounding on the desk and making a nuisance of himself. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" He moved to the desk and tried to look official and placating. "Now, young sir! How may— _urk_!"

Kuno grabbed him by the front of his coat and shook him, a grave impropriety even for a social superior to do.

"_Where is Ukyo Kuonji_!" he bellowed, face contorted. "_What has happened to Saotome and the fair Akane_?" That out and puzzling the frightened Zadai, he added, in a more reasonable tone, "For no other reason would she abandon her business, change her name and flee to this remote location!"

"You speak of Yasashi?" Zadai managed to get out.

"Zadai-san! What's wrong?"

"_Kuonji_!" The girl backed a step as Kuno released the old man and turned, thrusting an accusing finger at her and bellowing, "What do you here? Where is Saotome?"

"Sa-saotome? I... Who is..."

"I speak of the foul sorcerer, Ranma Saotome!" With difficulty he composed himself again. "Do not seek to dissemble, for you, too, were under his power, in thrall to his fatal attraction!"

"Ranma?"

"Arrgh! _Is this more of his devilry_?" He whirled. His servant had just staggered in, uniform in disarray. "Call for my copter! We must leave at once!"

"Ranma..." Yasashi was frowning. Kuno turned back to reach for Zadai and she punched him, catching him completely flat-footed. He crashed to the floor. Suddenly, her voice was filled with pain and tears poured down her face. "_Ranma_?"

Kuno, coming to on the floor, saw and sprang to his feet. He grabbed her roughly by the shoulders. "Weep not, fair Ukyo, for surely I, Tatewaki Kuno, shall avenge your shattered heart even as I avenge that of my loves! I shall wreck such veng— _Urk_!"

Kuno regarded Ukyo blearily from where she had embedded him in the wall.

"You... you... _jackass_!" she snarled.

"Now we know why she was so good at carpentry," commented Yoiko as she joined her husband. "Is your name really Ukyo, dear?"

"I... I don't know! I'm not sure I want to know!"

"Who is Ranma?"

"He is the foulest sorcerer on the face of the Earth! I, Tatewaki Kuno, am—_URK_!"

Kuno ended up in the wall again, upside down this time. Ukyo looked at him in disgust but also with relief. Kuno had his uses, even if it was primarily as a punching bag. She turned back to the couple.

"Ranma is the man I lo—!" She sighed. "He's the man I was engaged to marry." She sighed again, fighting back tears and remembered the older couple's kindnesses to a nameless vagabond. "C'mon, I don't really have anywhere I need to be these days. I might as well tell you the whole story."

Kuno slid from his vantage as the others disappeared into the shadows of the family quarters. Rubbing his head, he glared with righteous anger at their backs. Why did no one listen when he decried Ranma Saotome?

He knew of course. The knowledge of what he was and what he had done was well known to him. He even, almost,acknowledged the entire truth of his relationships to Ranma Saotome. It was this that had made him sign papers giving Sasuke certain authority with respect to the Kuno siblings. He knew, given the power, the little _ninja_ would be faithful to the end, doing his duty, as he believed would best serve the house of Kuno.

His breath came heavily, his heart pounded. This is what the doctor had warned about. The shock… The over-stimulation... Breathe... Breathe...

"Sir! The helicopter should be here in two hours."

"You there!"

"Sir?"

Contact Sasuke! Tell him to make the arrangements!"

"Sir? I..."

"_Just tell him_!" Kuno pressed fingertips to his forehead. "And don't forget to pack my things." he added as an afterthought.

* * *

''I'm going out, Grandmother!'' Shampoo's voice lilted as she left the Nekohanten.

''Run through the market district, girl,'' came the reply from the back. ''We need onions, fresh chicken, peppers…'' The list was extensive, but Shampoo had long ago learned the knack of memorizing a spoken message. ''Take Mr. Part-time with you to carry things. I'm tired of cleaning up after that duck!''

There was a squawking and the sound of a cage door opening. Mousse flew out of the kitchen to land skidding on the floor. Once there, he looked around for Shampoo, quacking questioningly.

''You are no good to me that way, Mousse,'' she said with a smirk. ''Unless we have order for Cantonese Duck!'' She thought a moment. ''Grandmother, do we need duck?''

''Isn't Mousse out there, yet?''

''No! For Cantonese Duck! Do we need fresh duck?''

Cologne pogo-ed out the kitchen door, looked around and saw Mousse looking at the floor in disgust. They ran variations of this on him all the time and itreally got old. It didn't stop the old witch from driving home the point that he was considered second-class here.

''Like I said, we have Mr. Part-time, here. Why do we need fresh duck?'' Mousse-duck made an odd sound, something like a groan and Cologne bopped him on the head with her cane. ''Keep a civil tongue in your beak, Mousse.'' She sighed, then, herself bored with the old joke. They'd have to think of something else. They had time right now, after all, with Ranma out of town. ''Yes, get some ducks and make sure you stay away from the water this time. We almost lost him to one of the merchants last time you went to the market. You, girl, nearly got caught by that Korean yatai. I don't think the owner wanted a pet. I understand that cat is considered to taste like rabbit if you prepare it properly.''

Shampoo shuddered. That incident had given her much greater sympathy for Mousse. It helped that he had saved her that time, escaping from the fowlers to tack the yatai owner's sleeve to the side of his cart as only the Master of Hidden Weapons could do, then flying in his face till he let go of Shampoo. Remembering it, the Cantonese Duck joke held no further attraction and she resolved to avoid it in the future.

The incident created another odd problem, as well. She had been so shaken at the idea of being a meal — she knew Korean and yes, this restaurateur did have plans — that when they transformed back, she allowed Mousse to comfort her for several minutes without decking the young man. She had never been so embarrassed in her life, once her heart dropped back out of her throat.

Mousse seemed to have used those few minutes to build a sort of reserve for his rampaging emotions. Oh, he still talked to potted plants, telephone poles and coat racks, leaving his glasses up on his head, but he had not grabbed at her in a while. For Shampoo, this was part of the problem. She had, in retrospect, rather enjoyed being pressed against his hard, surprisingly muscular body and was guiltily looking forward to his next glomp.

Mousse disappeared into the kitchen and changed. Both ways. He returned in his usual white robes, bowed with calculated precision to Cologne and followed Shampoo out the door.

''Remember to return soon! We must load the truck for that special order for your Aunt Jan-Jan this afternoon.''

Shampoo made a face. She was fond of her aunt, who was visiting Japan on business, but she didn't like shopping on a time limit; it interfered with her ability to barter. She acknowledged Cologne's admonition.

Mousse and Shampoo walked some distance in silence.

''I am sorry to tease you like that, Mousse,'' Shampoo apologized to the startled man. ''Especially now that I know how it feels to be on the menu!'' She shuddered and he reached out to offer comfort, but restrained himself. Shampoo found herself both glad and sorry. If he had touched her, she would have had to punish him. She sighed. Being an Amazon warrior was not a simple matter.

* * *

Cologne watched them disappear around a corner and sighed. This whole business was getting old and few living creatures were as old as she was.

Shampoo had returned from the Tendo's and immediately expressed a host of objections to the way their plan to catch Ranma had gone. She pointed out heroines in modern Japanese popular literature, she noted and itemized what she discovered about how the Tendo girls treated men they knew and how others her age acted at the high school and in the date spots she occasionally managed to drag Ranma to. Some of the objections were, of course, raised because of the terrible uncertainty Shampoo developed with both Ranma and Akane gone. It had beenweeks since the latter had left town and if they were together…

The other part dealt with honest fact. It seemed their intelligence sources had severely misrepresented a woman's role in foreign cultures. The literature and movies they observed had shown women as malleable, obedient servants ready to swoon into the strong male's arms to win his affection. Since Cologne was 'outside' with her great-granddaughter, she discovered that there were quite a few available roles for women, and that most of the movies they used as 'intelligence' were mostly made for adult male perverts who couldn't get a date unless they paid for it. It was also interesting that the anime character Shampoo's airen most enjoyed was married and devoted to a noisy, shrewish woman who was quite capable of violence in an astonishing degree.

Cologne made a mental note to check if Wa Shi Kla, the woman who managed matriarchy's intelligence bureau, might have some ulterior motive to sabotage Shampoo's hunt. If it was a deliberate act, there might be a new chief of intelligence when Ku Lon the matriarch next returned to China.

Cologne sighed and turned on the TV. She had inserted an invitation for a free meal into the Tendo's mail in the hopes of attracting Nabiki back to the restaurant. She was to the point of interrogating the girl, then using a new variety of Formula 109 to erase the memories of the experience.

Flipping through the channels she tried to make better sense of the whole mess. Never had the rules of the Matriarchy clashed so with the outer world. Still, it had been fun and fun was important when you passed seventy. Without a sense of fun, the past two hundred years would have been pure hell.

Suddenly, she started and almost broke the remote turning back to a news channel running a public interest story. Then she grinned maniacally and hit the record button on the VCR. Shampoo should be very interested in this news item. Her cackling laugh caused shivers to run down the spines of passers-by.

* * *

Nor was Cologne the only person catching the interesting news. Among the throng, far from Tokyo, a slender dark-haired girl ate a quiet meal watching the news. Depressed by events of the past month, she listened with half an ear, the rest of her concentration on the sounds of the farm she lived on, in particular, the sounds of a pig weighing nearly one ton, leaning against the front door of the house.

"Katsunishiki! Go lie down!" she yelled. The pig retreated reluctantly. It was very devoted to Akari and wanted to be near her when she felt bad. "Oh, where is Ryoga?" she whispered. She took another bite of her pork stir-fry and gazed at another inane news story about another stupid event in another stupid place west of Tokyo featuring people who were not Ryoga.

Suddenly, she stopped in mid-chew. The news item just as suddenly gained in interest. Her plate rattled on the table. The door slammed shut as her grandfather called a query after her.

"I'll be back later, Grandpa," she called back. "Come on, Katsunishiki! Let's go!"

* * *

At the Tendo residence, a wrinkled old man sat morosely smoking his pipe. Beside him was a plate of his favorite food courtesy of Kasumi who would be nice even, probably, to Stalin, Hitler, Genghis Khan and other human disasters. He absently flipped channels, spending about ten seconds on each one.

The rest of the family was seated along the edge of the porch facing the _koi_ pond. They had given up trying to watch the TV. Happosai had been flipping the channels at ten seconds a station for an hour. Kasumi sewed. Soun and Genma, visiting again, played _mahjong_. Nodoka was also sewing, though she had her _katana_ unsheathed across her lap; and Nabiki sat and tried to do her homework while encouraging P-chan II to stay close by scratching behind his ears, which he loved. She wanted to keep him in reserve in case the perverted master decided to focus on her in his boredom.

Suddenly, there was a wild yell of '_Swee-to_!' behind them, followed closely by a loud crash. They turned to look but all that was visible was a Happosai-shaped hole in the west wall of the house. Nabiki quickly checked the TV but the only thing on was a popular news program. Hardly something to excite the master, was it? But worse, Happosai had taken the remote with him.

"I wonder who's going to be enjoying his attentions this time?" Nabiki grimaced at the hole.

"At least it's not us!" replied Soun. He changed the channel manually till he found a soccer game. "Ahhh! That's more like it!"


	12. Guest Ki: Ki Note Speaker

**Guest Ki: Chapter 11**

_**Ki Note Speaker**_

"Ya gotta watch yer follow-through, tomboy," Ranma shouted. "Yer not a boxer, ya know! Follow-through scatters the force of the blow and slows ya down. Unless ya wanta gain distance, speed is better'n strength." He subsided and watched as Akane set up again.

Ranma sat on a rock as Akane practiced her newly acquired chestnut-fist without targets. "Ialwaysfelt that ki projections are an outward expression of yer inward spirit," he continued aloud his inward discussion with Barry over the nature of ki and its possible uses. "My Mouko Takabisha and Ryoga's Shishi Houkudan are expressions of that spirit and are stronger, the stronger our feelin's are that way."

'_But, Ranma, when you do one of those moves, the actual amount of ki projected is small.'_ Barry was monitoring the inside of Ranma, watching how the young man, even while sitting still, was constantly checking his body's readiness for combat. _'I don't actually feel any loss of energy, though the recoil as your ki re-balances is pretty severe.'_

"_Man_! I hate it when you do that!" Ranma complained, apparently to the air, but referring to the unique perspective Barry had about his ki.

Ryoga glanced at his friend and shook his head. He hated it when Ranma and Barry did this. It was like listening to one side of a phone call, and this was one conversation he'd like to be included in.

Earlier this month, Akane and Ranma had mended their fences yet again. To his own relief, Ryoga had also been forgiven. After finally relating how and why he had left the Tendo's, Ranma had pulled him aside, apologized and explained where Soun had gotten the idea to neuter P-chan.

After Ranma had picked himself out of the hole in the ground, he was treated to a scene he would never have believed. Akane had backed Ryoga up against a tree and threatened to finish the vet's job if Ryoga didn't control himself. After all, the last two years of misunderstand­ings had been his fault. He should be happy they were willing to let bygones be bygones. (Huff, huff, Honestly!) Of course, then she picked Ranma up by his shirtfront and informed him he'd better be more careful of his choice of words in the future.

Ranma, male again, felt guilty about the whole vet incident and was determined to make amends by teaching Ryoga some of the ki techniques they had devised. The problem was that the techniques were accomplished by methods having no possible description in the vocabularies any of them possessed. At Barry's suggestion, Ranma reached out and placed a hand on Ryoga's chest. For a weird moment, Ryoga felt as if Ranma were actually reaching in to him. He backed away, shuddering.

Barry finally got Ryoga to do his Bakusai Tenketsu while they stood behind him and monitored his ki directly. Ryoga complained several times that it was not, strictly speaking, a ki technique but Barry was adamant here. It took several tries for him to succeed, and creeped Ryoga out something terrible to feel that weird extension through the skin of his back, but finally he found the breaking point and destroyed a rock the size of a car. Then he heard a voice in his skull mutter.

'_Interesting!'_

That had ended that. Ryoga wanted the techniques, but without the necessity that had forced Ranma and Barry together, could not bring himself to accept the intrusion.

In another hour, they'd be hitting the sack. Tomorrow morning, they'd travel the twenty kilometers or so to where he'd catch a train back to Nerima. Who knew when he'd have a chance to pick their brains or try again?

"Uh, Ranma? Is there any way I can get into this conversation?" Ryoga asked.

"Barry says our main ki techniques aren't really ki-blasts!" Ranma snorted.

"What?"

"This is Barry taking over, Ryoga. I'm looking at the problem from the inside out," he said. "When Ranma does one of these ki things, I don't find that he's losing ki, so much as deliberately unbalancing his ki temporarily."

"Then where's the energy coming from?"

"That's what I say!" Ranma thrust a finger at his chest.

"I think the ki is acting on other sources of energy, probably electromagnetic and thermal, possibly gravitonic, and ki is merely the vehicle to collect and guide that energy where you want it to go. Your Bakusai Tenketsu for example is different only in that you are using your ki to unbalance the ki of the rock and once that's out of balance… _boom_!"

"Then why is it so hard, when you're doing so little, physically?"

"That's what I say!"

"Ummm… who?" Ryoga was confused.

"Me! Ranma, ya baka! Who else?"

"Barry, of course," chided Ranma's guest almost instantly. "Little is a relative term, Ryoga. If you had a background in field effects and electromagnetism..."

"Jeez! Barry, yer gonna mess up his head. Martial arts is doin', not thinkin'! You can screw yerself up by thinkin' too much."

"Certainly, if you're in a fight! Sparring with Ryoga taught me that much. But researching how your abilities work might allow..."

"It doesn't work, Barry," Ryoga interrupted. "My Shishi Houkudan in its ultimate form doesn't act like any electrical or magnetic energy that I've ever heard of." The three were silent as they considered that idea. Forgotten temporarily, the whip snapping sound of Akane's shadow-punches were ignored.

"Yeah! What about that, Barry?" Ranma sounded almost gleeful. "How do ya explain the perfect Shishi Houkudan?"

"I haven't seen it yet… Or have I?" Barry took over and questioned. "Was that what happened back in the woods, there, Ryoga? Right before Akane found out about P-chan?"

Ryoga shuddered. "I don't know… Maybe. Sometimes I let those things off without realizing it if I'm real depressed."

"Which is mosta the time," inserted Ranma, impoliticly.

"Shut up, Ranma," Ryoga growled.

"You do?" Barry took over again. "Isn't that dangerous?"

"Nah! When you build up that kind of depression, the backlash just washes through you."

"Unless ya get distracted," Ranma grinned. He made a kissing sound that literally had Ryoga's hair on end. He glared at the pigtailed martial artist, well aware of who spoke this comment.

"_Ranma!_ You have some nerve reminding me how you beat me…"

"Stop instigating, Ranma," Barry growled as he wrenched control back, trying to stem the fight Ranma seemed to be heading for. Apparently, teaching Akane was wearing on Ranma's patience at the moment and he was looking for a way to blow off steam. Barry was attempting to get a point across to Ryoga. "I wasn't talking about danger to you, I was talking about bystanders…"

"_Shut UP!"_

The argument ceased at that unmistakable tone of authority. Akane decided to butt in. "How's a girl supposed to concentrate with all that noise going on?" She glanced back and forth between them, as they dropped their eyes guiltily. "Barry, isn't there some way you can communicate without trading back and forth with Ranma? I'd like to listen, too, and you seem to know a lot about science..." She went from exasperated to puppy-cute in the blink of an eye.

Ranma held up a hand and crossed his eyes. "Uhhh… He's checking on it, Akane." Ranma sat and twitched as Barry did something inside.

"What's it feel like, Ranma, having someone in your head all the time?" asked Ryoga suddenly. He wondered if he actually heard Barry directly yesterday.

"Like havin' a rash all over that ya can't scratch," Ranma replied absently. "And a little like havin' someone handcuffed to yer wrist. _No_ privacy." Ranma flinched a little. "Right now, though, it's like havin' someone stomp around yer insides, like a building with shaky stairs and no elevator." Ryoga shuddered in sympathy. So it wasn't just him.

'_Sorry, Ranma,'_ apologized his guest. _'I'd really rather there were some other way.'_

"Barry, wadja think yer doin' in there?"

'_We're about to find out...'_

All three jumped as a musical note sang quietly through the air. Ranma looked wildly around, while Akane and Ryoga backed away.

"Ummm… Ranma?" Akane's startled look changed. She bit her lips like she was about to split in mirth. Ryoga began openly snickering.

"_What_!" whined the exasperated pigtailed teenager.

"You have to... Oh! (Snicker!) ...Go look in the water!" Akane broke down laughing.

Ranma sprang to his feet and hurried down to the water. He didn't get it at first. It looked like his face was framed by the moon overhead. He turned his head this way and that, then realized that the disc was not the moon.

"Awww, jeez!" Ranma with a beard and robes could have posed as an icon in certain churches with his beautiful, new glowing halo. He was less than impressed. "Barry, what is this dumb thing? I look like somethin' outa a Christmas play!" Vaguely he heard his words echo. "What was that? (that?...) I'm hearin' an echo! (echo!...)"

'_Sorry, Ranma. I forgot a speaker is also a microphone. Just a minute.'_

"So, what's going on, 'Saint' Ranma?" asked a snickering Ryoga, leaning close. "I always thought you had a holier-than-thou attitude. I guess this... _Urk_!" Ranma back-fisted him.

"Bar-ry! (-ry!) Is this gonna take long? (long?...)" The tone stopped and the night was silent again. "Barry?" The echo was gone as well.

"Wahow wiiih hiiihh?" The sound wowed and warbled like someone imperfectly using a bass slide whistle. It was also loud!

"_Waugh_!" Ranma screamed holding his ears. Ryoga and Akane winced and covered their ears.

'_Sorry, again,'_ Barry said from inside. '_But I think I'm getting it.'_

The next tone was gentler and the glow of Ranma's 'halo' was almost invisible. The tone ran the scale, as near as they could tell, of the audible range. Then different qualities were tested and clear vowel sounds were projected in a deep tone. After repeating, consonants were attempted. These were less than satisfactory. Most attempts at plosives came out like drumbeats and closed sounds like 'n' and 'm' could resonate alarmingly.

"Is Barry doing that using ki?" asked Akane, who had switched from hilarity to something approaching awe.

"Dw!-onnn-t! wwWwworRrreee, Ah-K!ah-Nnnneee!" The deep but largely toneless voice did not come from Ranma's lips.

"That's... amazing!" gulped Ryoga. "I think he said, 'Don't worry, Akane!' in English!"

"Just great," muttered an annoyed Ranma. "If he can do it in Japanese, it might be worthwhile!" He turned to the others. "I don't still look like some stupid stained-glass window, do I?" They shook their heads and he sighed relieved. "Barry, can you do it in Japanese?"

'_I'm trying to do it in Japanese!'_ "Ahmmm t!rrRRLYY-Iing! t!duhoo ih-t! nnnnn zzjjjah-pah-neezzzz!" Then the tones stopped again.

"Barry?" Ranma asked, wondering what was coming next.

"Ggggh-o-mnnnnnnn nahse! Nnnnnah-nnnnnee… gah 'oshshshsheeee DUH-ez kah!"

Then light fluffy music with an energetic beat filled the night air. Akane brightened and started snapping her fingers. Whatever the two were doing, at least it was entertaining. After a moment, she let herself go to the beat of a popular song, shimmying and dancing in enjoyment at the change from training.

Ryoga had the good sense to look appalled.

"Is it like this all the time?" he asked Ranma, who settled down with one hand supporting his head.

"This? This is nothin'!" Ranma grumped. "You have no-o-o idea, P-chan."

* * *

Nabiki opened the mail that morning and found a formal and stylish invitation for a free meal at the Nekohanten. She frowned slightly at the notice, as it was obviously not a general commercial offer, and debated the wisdom of accepting. Mr. Saotome told her that Mousse hadn't been around in a while for the secret training they had arranged and the lack of information was restricting her options in dealing with the Chinese.

Oh well, the line-up was surely beginning. When Ranma got back there'd probably be another 'Let's Attack Ranma' parade with all of the usual suspects lining up outside.

Both Kuno and his sister were back from somewhere. The Blue Thunder's frantic call to her the other day concerning Ranma's and Akane's whereabouts was not calmed by the information that Akane had gone to visit a cousin's home. Kodachi apparently resided somewhere in Akane's room for two days, waiting to ambush her, before hunger drove her downstairs to ask Kasumi for food. Kasumi claimed the impromptu meal and conversation with the Black Rose had been quite enlightening and that Kodachi, sans Ranma, was fairly pleasant to talk to, if a trifle over-aware of her station.

Happosai had been a real pain lately. Before the old pervert had bugged out, earlier, he was acting as if he was literally pining away for the missing martial artists, alternately lying around moaning at the injustice of it all or out on the town raising hell. Nabiki was very glad to have P-chan II around.

During their absense, and forlack of a better target, Happosai had tried ambushing Nabiki, only to have sharp little teeth fasten in his backside. That, and the fact that Nabiki didn't scream and thrash when he glomped her, had driven Happi to other, more satisfying targets. Kasumi, who to the uninformed might be an obvious choice, was of course taboo. She prepared the food in the house and provided all the comforts. Her serenity disarmed the Master, as well, making him uncomfortable in his lust.

Besides, apart from underwear theft and the occasional passing grope, Happosai seemed to prefer girls who had a chance of fighting back. Kodachi and Shampoo both complained. A pretty girl named Atsuko from the far side of Nerima brought an unconscious Happosai back to the dojo after reading the address on a tag in his clothing. According to her, they had been playing and the old man had gotten tired. She left with an amazing turn of speed on her bicycle shortly thereafter. The Master was very cranky and uninformative when he finally woke after that incident. Atsuko had returned several times in the past week looking for her new playmate. Happosai made himself very scarce when she was around.

Nabiki also knew that Taro was somewhere around. A flying minotaur is hard to miss, even when it flies at night. On top of that, no one had seen Ukyo Kuonji beyond the northeast edge of Tokyo. The okonomiyaki chef had tangled with Tsubasa there and put him in the hospital. She wouldn't have known that, except the annoying little cross-dresser had come sneaking around the dojo, certain that Ranma had something to do with her disappearance. Unfortunately, a table with a cast on a leg was a little too obvious, even for her father, and Tsubasa was ejected, although with some difficulty. Ranma's parents were over and Nodoka made the mistake of speculating whether both Akane and Ukyo might have gone off with Ranma for a romantic threesome (wince) at an undisclosed location. After all, her son seemed to like them both and had family honor at stake in both cases.

Fortunately, Nabiki got to Konatsu before Tsubasa did with that one. The cross-dressing ninja had shown up nearly breathless, tearful and in (Gasp!) men's clothing the day after he received her phone call. Konatsu was her main information source in the search for Ukyo but had been unable to trace her beyond the edge of the city. While waiting for news, he re-opened Ucchan's to keep it solvent and insure Ukyo had somewhere to return.

In the midst of her musings, downstairs, there was a knock at the door. Nabiki heard, but ignored it. She had enough to worry about right now. She needed to find some extra cash and nobody was around to cause trouble that she could capitalize on. Well, there was Kuno, but she had no new pictures to sell even if she wanted to start that again. Then Kasumi's voice drifted up the steps.

"Nabiki! Nabiki, could you please come here?" her older sister called. "You have a visitor."

It was Sasuke in a three-piece suit carrying a suitcase.

"Heh-heh! Nabiki-san, as a representative of the Kuno family…"

"Where is Kuno-baby?" Nabiki asked carelessly. "I haven't seen him for a while."

"Master Kuno is currently continuing his sabbatical from Nerima."

"Didn't he just call the other day, Nabiki?" asked Kasumi with a look of concern. "He seemed quite upset."

"You bet, oneechan," she turned back to Sasuke. "What gives?"

"Oh, it was simply the reaction to meeting the Kuonji girl up north. Something she said…"

"Kuno found Ukyo?" barked Nabiki. "Where exactly was this, Sasuke?"

"Just a little place up in the mountains; as a matter of fact, not far from Tendo in Miagi." The little man smiled faintly in recalling. "I remember it because I commented that he was leaving one Tendo behind to only to repose near another."

Nabiki looked at him darkly, while Kasumi raised a hand to her cover her mouth. Sasuke coughed embarrassed, and looked as if he'd like to sink through the floor. "I didn't say it was a _tasteful_ comment. Heh-heh!"

"I want names, addresses and phone numbers, Sasuke," Nabiki said in a chill tone. Sasuke shivered, then looked thoughtful.

"Nabiki-san, it was about Ukyo that I stopped by. I understand a reward is in the offing? A matter of ten thousand yen for finding the incomparable chef of okonomiyaki?"

"Really, Sasuke," Nabiki griped, as her eyes narrowed. "You work for the wealthiest family in Nerima. Why are you concerned about whatever measly amount we poor peons might have to offer?"

"Indeed, I work for the wealthiest family who tends, in their wisdom, to squeeze the hole out of every yen." He smiled ingratiatingly. "One always can use a little pocket change."

Nabiki and Kasumi sweat-dropped.

"I could just call over to Kuno-baby…" started Nabiki.

"True, but if he thought of it at all, he would refer you to me."

"Let's sit down and discuss this, shall we?" offered the shorthaired girl with the beginning of a true smile. "Kasumi, could we have some tea?"

"Shall I call Konatsu, Nabiki? He'll be glad to hear any news of Ukyo."

"Of course, Kasumi," Nabiki replied, turning back to business. 'I sure hope Ranma appreciates what I've done for him,' she thought. Then, to Sasuke, "I hope you realize the reward is contingent on actually finding her? Just relating where she's been doesn't count."

Sasuke pursed his lips and began to worry.

* * *

Ranma marched easily out of the trees and onto the road that led into town. She had turned girl getting everyone across the lake and they were saving the hot water in case Ryoga went 'pig' again for some reason. There was no sense in lugging his share of the supplies. Bubblegum music played from somewhere around her head, thanks to an attempt by Barry at direct communication using ki techniques which somehow tuned in broadcast radio stations.

Ranma was less than thrilled, but her fiancée skipped and bobbed to the music, despite the distance they'd traveled. They were less than half an hour from the train station, thank kami, and possibly some civilized victuals. Hustle Ryoga onto a train, then… After a month or so, she was more than ready for some ice cream, provided of course, that she could work around a distinct lack of cash.

"Hey, Akane, how much money ya got on ya?"

"About five-thousand yen. Why?" Akane stopped shimmying as her red-haired fiancé stopped suddenly with a pained look on her face.

"How are we gonna pay for Ryoga's train fare?" She and Akane exchanged glances and the latter frowned warningly. She wouldn't put up with Ranma's usual scams.

'I can't believe we didn't think of this,' commented Barry. 'Hey, I know! Why not get together with Ryoga and stage a martial arts exhibition? Or see if there's a tournament or something?'

"Huh?"

'You know, take on all comers…'

"Ya need seed money ta set something like that up, Barry, an' five' ain't enough," Ranma replied, rubbing the side of her nose. "An' ya gotta be careful. Sports events like that attract the Yakuza. If ya mess up one a their deals, it can get real dangerous for you and yer whole family. I don't go lookin' for trouble. Yakuza are trouble."

'You've done it before, I take it?'

"You worry too much, Ranma," Ryoga offered confidently. "Besides, I'll find something to earn the fare."

"You? Find? You can't find yer way outa a paper bag, Ryoga. An' the tomboy's too busy beboppin'…" (BAM!) Akane punted Ranma through a billboard. As Ranma found her way back to the group, a new tune came up on the radio frequency they were monitoring, causing her to grimace. "Awww… not this one!"

"Yes, Ranma," demanded Akane, taking her by the arm.

"Be nice to Akane, Ranma," growled Ryoga.

"But it's so… sappy!" whined Ranma. They glared and inside Barry chuckled.

'You're out-voted, Ranma.'

"Just great."

They moved into town, passing several houses and apartments, then shops and several small restaurants. The smells from these establishments had the trio traveling back and forth across the street, walking close by first one then another for the delightful aromas.

Finally, Ryoga had enough.

"I don't know about anyone else, but I'm hungry!" He walked into one of the shops and up to the counter. He flashed a smile, which quickly became forced as the older lady called her teenage daughter out of the back to deal with him.

"Good morning, can I help you?"

"Good morning! Heh! Ha-ha-ha! I'm… I mean…"

Ranma sighed. It was so-o-o predictable.

The girl smiled at the tall young man before her. He was really cute with those fangs and those wild green eyes. She glanced over his shoulder at the two girls and her eyebrows rose. Her expression grew slightly chilly. This nice young man was traveling with two gorgeous girls? She glared daggers at them. And where was that music coming from?

Ranma caught the dagger look and sighed again, and Barry finally shut off the music. Smiling winningly, she introduced herself and Akane.

"Hi! I'm Ranma Saotome and this is Akane Tendo of the Tendo dojo in Nerima," Ranma bubbled, looking as harmless as possible. "And he's Ryoga Hibiki. We're martial artists on a training trip, and we decided to stop in town ta see if we could pick up some work and a hot meal. Is there anything around?"

The girl looked at the three doubtfully before Ryoga's nervousness caught her attention again. She noticed that when she smiled, he looked at her or at the ground, but not at the other girls. Shy then, not taken. Good!

"There is Himamashi's up the street," she finally offered. "It's a sports bar, but I know they're getting ready for some big party tonight and might need some help." As the others turned to go, she leaned over and whispered to Ryoga, "Are you staying in town long?"

Ryoga, blushing at the attention, backed away with a stuttering denial and apology. He hurried away as if something were burning.

"Hey, Akane! Look at Ryoga's face." (Snicker)

Behind them a pretty girl sighed and wondered what she'd said wrong.

* * *

At Himamashi's, they were further directed to seek out Otaro Himamashi, the owner of the bar. Himamashi was a retired sumo wrestler who retained much of his massive authority, standing only a finger's width under two-meters tall at a full one hundred fifty kilograms in weight. The man actually looked bigger than the description, his bald head gleaming in the sun and his black eyes twinkling with suppressed mirth.

"Hi. We were told you might have some work for us?" Ranma swaggered up and acted as spokesperson for the three. The big man looked approvingly at Ryoga and sighed lustily at Ranma and Akane, bringing blushes immediately to both girls' cheeks.

"You there." He pointed at Ryoga. "If you're as half as strong as you look, I can use you. Your friends, well…" He ran his eyes back over the two girls and chuckled longingly. "If I was still a randy young man, I'd fight you for them. Ahhh! Those were the days! Why I could…"

Ranma poked him in his large stomach.

"Ryoga's not the only martial artist here, ya know. Akane and I can pull our weight better 'n any guy ya got. I can read blueprints, too." 'Courtesy of Barry,' she thought. She crossed her arms and glared at him, daring him to argue.

He laughed instead and pointed out some lumber and tools nearby.

"I'm building a stage for a competition we're having here tonight. I have wood for steps up to the stage," he said. "The stage will be sixty centimeters tall. Build me some steps about a meter wide."

Ranma smiled brightly, eliciting another sighing chuckle from the big man and knelt beside the lumber. Internally, she was consulting with Barry who had built lots of stairs from scratch. This was really going to be a test of several of the new techniques Barry and Ranma worked out, including one adapted from the Nekoken.

Barry quickly calculated the best riser height and tread depth for the three steps, and from that determined the angle of the stringers. Using ki to lead the draw-saw, she cut through in less time than it would take a power saw. Then she laid the stringer against the floor and measured the height to double-check the calculations. Satisfied, she laid the stringer down and used it as a template to duplicate the other two. She built the box, which would support the stairs if left as a separate unit, and attached the stringers, driving the nails in with strokes of her thumb.

"Open steps?" Ranma inquired of the old sumo, whose eyes were popping a bit. He nodded. She carefully marked and grooved the underside of the treads to act as an additional strengthening design and began fitting the pieces together. She asked for and received wood glue; then, setting the tread firmly against the first stringer, nailed it down, again driving the nails in with her thumb. In five minutes, the stairs were finished and Himamashi was laughing again.

"You'll pull your weight? By kami, you'll pull my weight!" He turned to Akane who looked nervous and a little defensive under his gaze.

"She's my student," said Ranma, inserting herself smoothly into the potential storm. "She's not quite as good as me in the carpentry line, but she's strong, tough and smart. Ya won't lose anything by havin' her help."

Himamashi stared for a second, and shook himself, an effort that set a lot of flesh shaking. "You are her sensei? School-chums, maybe…"

"I'm _that_ good," Ranma said flatly.

The big man towered over the tiny redhead, face for the moment expressionless. "I'm sure you are! Let's settle on your wages then."

A few moments of haggling later, everything was settled and Ranma was looking at blueprints for the project. The drawing indicated a shallow pool, roughly four meters across and half a meter deep, set in the center of the main floor of the stage. The drawings indicated a plastic liner and water-resistant pads covering the edges and floor of the stage itself. Around the outside of the liner was a second, inner liner with heating elements imbedded in it. The construction was simple but strong. Ranma looked up at Himamashi.

"What is this thing anyway, a kiddy pool?"

"Actually, it's a fighting arena for a special form of combat."

"Really?" Ranma was interested despite the earlier protestations about such events. "What kind?"

"Ramen Noodle Wrestling. Interested in trying?"

Internally, Barry gave a quick synopsis of what this sport might be and what it was really for. She opened and shut her mouth a couple of times, blushing furiously before growling, "I ain't no pervert!"

Construction was plagued by Ranma's muttering to her unseen guest, who protested vehemently that he never had actually seen it himself, really only heard about it. He was assuming that it was perhaps like mud wrestling, which also he had never seen… Barry was flawlessly executing a classic Ranma maneuver — open mouth, insert both feet.

The work took two hours. Akane and Ryoga carried in the wood and Akane teamed with Ranma to cut and fasten everything together. It would have taken less time, except Himamashi had a TV crew in, filming advertising footage and several news stories. Meanwhile, Ryoga was drafted to carry kegs of beer and arrange tables around the stage. Himamashi joined them when it was time to lower the liner into place.

As they finished, the tallest gaijin woman any of them had ever seen walked into the bar and started examining their work with a critical eye. It wasn't merely her height that was intimidating, although she was nearly as tall as Himamashi, but the heavily defined muscles exposed by a well-filled halter and cut-off jeans. Her blond hair was waist length and her eyes were even bluer than Ranma's. Despite the muscles, no one would mistake her for anything but a woman …and a martial artist.

"How's it going, Otaro-san," she said in fairly good Japanese. "Looks like you'll be ready to open on time."

"Shouldn't be a problem, Jani-san," he chuckled. "I came across two skilled workers and, would you believe it, they are both excellent martial artists, as well!" He turned and indicated the two girls. "Janet Kolberg, this is Akane Tendo and Ranma Saotome of Nerima. There is a young man with them as well. He must be outside at the moment. Jani-san is the star of our wrestling match."

"So, you're martial artists?" Her voice drawled the words out, even as she gave the two girls a second look. "Are you competing tonight?"

"Nah," Ranma answered shortly. "Just puttin' stuff together. Don't go in for the perverted stuff." She reached out and adjusted the liner. She didn't need Barry's advice to know that creases were weak spots that could cause unwanted leaks. She missed the dark look Jani-san shot her.

"What style?"

"Quite a few different styles, actually," answered Akane, who was less involved than Ranma in finishing the pool. "Mainly kempo, but our school is the Mutsabetsu Kakuto Ryu and…"

"'Unrestricted Grappling'," the woman broke in. Her face twisted slightly in barbed mirth. "I bet the boys love that!"

Ranma's head snapped up, interrupting Barry's assessment of the construction. Akane froze at the comment and scowled. Himamashi rolled his eyes as sparks began to fly.

"What do you mean by that?"

'_Ranma, we're not here to fight.' _

'Tell _her_ that,' Ranma shot back.

Ryoga chose that moment to walk in carrying four of the enormously heavy carbon-dioxide tanks for the bar. Lost in his own thoughts, he walked between the angry almost-combatants, following arrows they had chalked on the floor. Ranma and Akane were oblivious to his demonstration of strength. Jani-san and Himamashi gawked at him. The old sumo wrestler would have hesitated to move that load, but the boy obviously thought nothing of it. He set them down gently, without apparent effort, and turned to his employer.

"Is there anything else, Himamashi-san?" he asked.

"Ryoga-san?"

"Jan-Janet?" Ryoga stared at the tall woman and swallowed convulsively. "Janet Kolberg?"

"Maybe I wasn't far off the mark, when I said P-chan was being unfaithful." Akane said in an aside to Ranma. They snickered together in speculation of how, and to what degree, Ryoga had run afoul of this woman.

"My goodness!" Hips swaying, Janet strolled over to Ryoga. "And just how is my long lost husband, hmmm?"

"_Husband_!"


	13. The Corner Pub

**Guest Ki: Chapter 12**

_**The Corner Pub**_

"Oh, dear! Ryoga, you naughty boy," the imposing woman continued, glancing at Ranma and Akane. "You haven't been leading these girls on, have you?"

If the girls were flabbergasted, Ryoga was both dismayed and annoyed. "I am _not _your _husband_!" he bellowed.

"But you're my wittle piggy-wiggy," she cooed at him amused.

"I am not… _bwee-e-e-e_!"

Janet Kolberg obviously knew Ryoga's secret and 'pigged' him with a glass of water. Himamashi, who was chuckling over the exchange, stood frozen with shock as the angry young man disappeared, leaving a pile of clothes and… something struggling in them? His eyes went round as a black piglet struggled free and made angry squealing noises at the tall gaijin woman. She picked him up by his bandanna and laughed.

"What is going on, Jani-san? What did you do to my worker?"

"We could tell ya," came the clear quiet voice of Ranma. She and Akane moved close to the woman. "But right now we're more interested in how she's going to put him down and back off. Preferably before she gets hurt."

"Oh, yes, you're martial artists, too." She glanced between them, trying to assess their abilities.

Himamashi started to get angry. He wasn't certain who he should be angry with, but he wanted no uncontrolled combat at his bar. There were numerous breakable items; the many mugs, goblets and glasses were particularly vulnerable. The ceiling was tiled in mirrors and a huge mirror was set in the wall behind the bar. Numerous decorations were inherently fragile and, while they were positioned out of the way of the average brawl, with a couple of top-level martial artists going all out, even the building's structural frame might be damaged. And what happened to that young man? The old sumo felt somewhat obligated to him. All three of the teenagers had worked hard and well at their jobs. Finally he focused on the tall, blond woman.

"Jani-san, I demand an explanation!" he bellowed. "And none of your Amazon tricks. These youngsters have been…"

"Ah, shit!" snarled Ranma interrupting, "She's Joketsuzoku?"

"You've heard of us?" the woman inquired sweetly.

"You could say that," Akane commented with a savage grin. She was almost eager to try out the new techniques Ranma had taught her.

"Ryoga, you sly dog… I mean, pig!" their opponent commented with a snicker. "How did you get so many pretty girls trailing after you? Willing to fight, even knowing Amazon traditions? You must be even better than I thought." Ryoga/P-chan 'bwee-ed' and spun in a circle from the impetus of a futile swing at the woman.

"Get ready, Akane," Ranma murmured. The breathing focused, muscles tensed and began to unleash…

Janet Kolberg laughed like a lunatic and set P-chan down on the bar-top. The pig glared at her and shook himself. Glancing over at his friends, he made a disgusted sound and shook his head. Turning his back on all of them, he sat down in a sulking huff. But they didn't drop their guard just yet.

"Himamashi-san, could we have some hot water, please?" Ranma asked quietly. She felt the moment of combat was past and signaled Akane to relax a little. They both glared at the hysterical woman, who nodded at their request.

"Get it, Otaro-san! HA-HA-Ho-hoo! You'll love this!"

When it arrived, Ranma snatched at it, but was stiff-armed by the longer reach of the Kolberg woman. She gleefully poured a generous dollop over the slouching pig. Almost instantly, Ryoga appeared, naked, slumped with his hands in front of him to protect his modesty, if not his dignity.

"Thanks so much, Kolberg-san!"

"You are so welcome, airen."

Ranma snickered.

"What are you laughing at?" snarled Ryoga glaring her way.

"P-chan, didn't ya learn anything from my troubles? Wadja beat her for? That's the only reason she'd be sayin' _airen_ to ya."

"It was an accident," Ryoga grumbled. "Could somebody give me my clothes? I'm not decent here!"

"You look fine to me, piggy," purred Janet, as Ranma retrieved his clothes from the floor and handed them to him.

"Could someone tell me what's going on?" Himamashi drove his bulk between them all, trying to gain control of the situation again. "How did you turn him into a pig? Why are you calling him 'husband'? How do you all know about the Chinese Amazons? But most of all, _why is everyone picking fights in my bar_!" He turned to the tall woman. "You first, Jani-san."

She rolled her eyes and grinned mischievously. "Spoil-sport." She jerked a finger at Ryoga. "He made the mistake sometime of falling into one of the cursed pools at Jusenkyo. Anything that falls into those hundred-plus pools ends up with an alternate form or personality based on what originally was drowned in that pool and what magical rites were performed to fix the curse – or at least that's the story granny told me. Ryoga here could, theoretically be cured by jumping into the Nannichuan." She leaned forward and smiled wickedly. "Or not. Sometimes the curses mix."

Ranma swallowed heavily and exchanged glances with Akane. They'd wondered exactly how Pantyhose had managed his mixed curse.

Janet missed or ignored their reation. "Cold water activates the curse. Hot water reverts you to your birth form." Himamashi swore sulphurously and paled at the idea. She smiled sweetly at the half-dressed and glowering Ryoga. "I called him 'husband' because he beat me in combat. Well… it was really a bar brawl in Okinawa. But Amazon law states that if an outsider man beats an Amazon woman, he becomes her husband."

"Isn't it a little inconvenient that you are already married?" Otaro Himamashi asked gruffly. Janet burst into laughter again as Ryoga paled.

"She's _married_?" Ryoga's voice was a mixture of horror and disbelief. "Then, why are you…? Do they allow…?"

"Isn't he cute?" Janet snickered. "You should have seen him when I told him I was Joketsuzoku. White as a ghost! I couldn't help teasing him. Then he got away before I could explain I was married and the combat law didn't apply. You should have seen him! WA-HAH-HAH-Ha-ha-hooo!"

Ranma groaned and climbed on a stool to slump, head in hand, near Ryoga at the bar. Akane sat down with a thump on the side of the stage they had built.

"But you're not Chinese," Akane protested, perplexed. "How can you be an Amazon?"

"Adopted." It was a straight answer and unexpected. She smiled and relaxed a little. "I tagged along with my researcher-parents on an under-funded mission to the Bayan Hara Range. Mountains are treacherous and a landslide left me wandering, five years old, orphaned and homeless, till the Amazons found me." She sighed, looking sad. "I spent the next ten years learning their ways, competing with other Amazon girls and getting an Amazon-style education. Then my grandparents found out I hadn't died and had the contacts to put pressure on the PRC government. The Matriarchy decided to send me back to the USA. That made me an orphan all over again."

"That's so sad." Akane sniffed. Her obvious sympathy further relaxed the Amazon's reserves. Almost companionably, she detailed her story.

Ranma and Ryoga exchanged glances. It looked like a fight wasn't going to break out after all.

"I drove my grandparents crazy with the wild things I'd do." She grimaced. "They were nice people, but had no idea what to do with a girl who was always practicing martial arts. When they tried to stop that, I turned to practical jokes and stunts designed to meet with their disapproval." She shrugged. "Granny always said, 'Life is full of pain, child, but it doesn't have to be sad. Always try to appreciate when the joke's on you.' I just followed that concept. It kept me sane till I met Kazakasai, who was a foreign exchange student. He was a martial artist in aikido, the only man who has ever beaten me. Except for Ryoga here, of course, in that bar in Okinawa."

"Kolberg-san!" Ryoga looked daggers at her. She stuck her tongue out at him.

"We knew he'd have to leave sometime, so I practiced my Japanese, ripped into my schoolwork and managed to do the exchange student thing back the other way. We got married right after graduation."

"Kazi is currently in Tokyo doing stunt coordination for a movie," offered Himamashi. "They're almost never together. I'll never have grandchildren at this rate," he added grumpily. Ryoga, Ranma and Akane glanced his way, finally seeing where everything connected up.

"Now what about you two?"

They gulped as the bar owner's glare focused on them in return. It also crossed their minds that he hadn't paid them yet. Ranma sighed, crossed her arms in front of her and looked up at the big man. "That's really our business, Himamashi-san," she said looking him straight in the eye. Then she shrugged casually. "We've got some Amazons visitin' down our way, an' I got ta know 'em as well as anybody."

Suddenly, Ranma flinched aside and Ryoga ducked, as a glass of cold water splattered the bar between them. "Stop that!" they chorused.

"You have a curse, too, don't you?" Janet accused Ranma, grinning wickedly. "I can tell. Which one is it?"

"Leave Ranma alone, Kolberg-san," growled Ryoga as he came out from behind the bar. He glanced between the two female warriors and shook his head. "Ranma, leave Kolberg-san alone! You have enough trouble with Sham—_umph_!" Ranma's hand clapped firmly over Ryoga's mouth.

"Let's not drop any names, shall we, P-chan?" she said sweetly.

"Probably a good idea," Janet said, eyes gleaming. "Since you're a girl, it's almost got to be the 'kiss of death' you're worried about. You never know, I just might give my sister Amazon a call as to where you are!"

"I ain't worried 'bout no 'kiss of death', okay?" Ranma answered flatly. "But speakin' of that, how do you justify this 'Ramen Noodle Wrestling'. I can't believe ya never lose."

"Justify it?"

"Yeah! Ya know. 'Kiss of death', an' all?"

"But I'm an outsider to begin with, Red. It doesn't apply to me," she protested. "Besides, this isn't combat; it's entertainment. And I _don't_ lose."

"Yeah, right! Just a summer job ta finance medical school," Ranma sneered sarcastically.

"However did you guess?"

Himamashi cleared his throat. "We still have some work to do," he reminded them. "I have a restaurant coming with the ramen for tonight's fights. Would you believe I have reservations so far for over twenty competitors at eight thousand yen each? That's besides the spectators at twenty-five hundred yen each." He grinned at them. "Of course, drinks are extra…"

Ranma whistled and Akane looked startled. Ryoga shot Ranma a glance.

"Maybe you should enter, Ranma," he said in a whisper.

"Not a chance, P-chan. Those are gonna be _warm_ noodles in there."

"Oh." He looked at Akane.

"Don't go there, 'piggy-wiggy'," warned Ranma.

"Don't be ridiculous, Ranma, I'd never ask her to do that!"

They got back to work. Ranma double-checked the stage and steps and repaired a few tables that were wobbly. Akane helped clean dishes and equipment under Himamashi's supervision and Ryoga cleared lumber scraps away and mopped the floor. By 4:00 P.M. they were done, except for unloading the fifteen hundred liters of ramen that was being delivered in fifty-liter buckets. The nondescript truck pulled up to the front and Ranma, lying on the roof snoozing for lack of better things to do, paid it no mind. They'd call when they needed her.

Barry, through Ranma, had been treated in the interim, to some free ice cream courtesy of Himamashi. Barry had suggested a confection of French vanilla, heavy with fudge sauce and whipped cream. Ranma agreed and quickly determined that it was thick, disgustingly sweet and rich, in other words, _good_! She patted her stomach and snoozed. Female taste buds were far superior when it came to that sort of thing. At least, Ranma's were.

The impact of feet, lightly on the roof, disturbed her snooze, but not enough to really wake her. She unconsciously decided Akane had joined her. This turned out to be a misconception.

"Airen!" (GLOMP!)

"SH-shampoo?" (Urk!)

"Ranma, you womanizer!"

"Mousse. You, too?"

"Hello, son-in-law."

Ah, shit! "Hello, Granny."

"You haven't gone and done something stupid, have you, son-in-law?"

Akane went still with shock when Ranma walked back in with Shampoo on her arm, a glowering Mousse and a pogo-ing Cologne. Shampoo went still with menace when she recognized Akane and confirmed, in her own mind at least, that Ranma had arranged to be alone with her rival for the past month.

Cologne was generally unconcerned. She believed from watching Ranma, that the boy had not yet consummated the relationship with the Tendo girl. In her experience, the signs were nearly unmistakable, even before she laid eyes on Akane to confirm it. She wondered why, though. It was almost inhuman for two like these, who were so close, to remain apart unsupervised, without experimenting a little, at least.

"Hello, old ghoul."

She had been aware of the body leaning against the wall, but ignored it in her assessment of Ranma and Akane. She looked up into the angry mocking eyes of Ryoga Hibiki and gasped. Shampoo and Mousse turned at the unusual sound and Shampoo gasped as well.

Mousse of course, couldn't see the figure very well and started to lean forward, only to be snatched back by a lunging Shampoo. "Is pig-boy, Mousse. He here!"

Mousse backed away with a startled curse and the three regarded Ryoga as if they expected an immediate outbreak of hostilities.

Himamashi groaned. At this rate, everyone who walked through the door today would be at each other's throats. He wondered if he should take out more insurance.

"Am I missing something here?" Ryoga looked from one Amazon to another in bafflement.

"We thought you were, boy," commented the old woman dryly. "Missing something, that is. When did you leave the Tendo's?"

"Just a few steps ahead of the vet's knife." His features darkened. "Hey, how do you know about that?"

Akane butted in. "Did you have something to do with my dad trying to neuter P-chan?" she demanded, ire showing. "That was low, Shampoo! Maybe I should have caged _you_ and taken youto the vet."

Shampoo flinched and looked guilty, while Mousse attempted to put himself between the two, a dangerous proposition at the best of times.

"So, the secret's out," Cologne noted concerning the Ryoga/P-chan duality. Mousse and Shampoo jerked in reaction. "I notice you said, 'tried to', Akane Tendo. Am I correct in assuming they did not succeed?" Cologne looked at her impassively.

"Of course not!" Akane snapped. "I mean… But… I mean… I didn't check to find… out. Ryoga, they didn't do it, did they?"

"Hell, _no_!" yelled the embarrassed bandanna wearer.

"Ya walked inta that one, Akane," Ranma muttered with a smirk. Akane punched her.

Cologne smiled beatifically. "That sneaky girl," chuckled Cologne.

"Who?" Akane blurted, startled, turning from the crouched redhead. "Me? Ranma?"

"Grrr!" Shampoo caught on. "Mercenary-girl fool us! Make us think they castrate pig-boy!" She grabbed Ryoga by the front of his shirt and shook him. "You know I punished for nothing? Try three, four times to get to Ryoga to give him warrior's death! Mercenary-girl pig bit me." She was beside herself with rage and shook Ryoga violently while Mousse stood back and debated whether he should be jealous of this or not.

Janet Kolberg stuck her head around the corner and squealed in joy.

"_Granny_!"

"Jan-Jan, so good to see you again," Cologne answered from the depths of a huge hug. "Now put me down, child. I'm a Matriarch and I'm supposed to keep my dignity and my breath. Besides," she continued, straightening her robes. "We need to bring in the broth and noodles for your competition tonight."

"Awww, man," Ranma groaned. "I shoulda headed for the hills as soon as we found an Amazon around." Shampoo glomped her again and was burning her ear off about what Ranma and Akane better not have been doing. It was really more than Ranma or Barry wanted to hear.

"Uh… Granny? Why is Shampoo hanging all over that girl?" Janet looked on with interest. "Is that why she never went for Mousse?"

Shampoo glared at her scandalized. "This Shampoo's airen, by combat rules. Airen have Jusenkyo curse. Get hot water, I show."

Ranma groaned and dropped her head.

"I knew you had a curse," Janet exclaimed. She charged into the kitchen and returned with hot water. Himamashi wandered over to see what the hold-up was. He jumped back when hot water spattered over the pretty redhead's hair and she changed drastically.

"Dammit, Jani-san!" he exclaimed, shocked. Cologne brought her staff down with a firm thump on his head, an interesting combination of hop, spin and swing. Rubbing his head, he glared at her but continued, "Do that when the customers are here and I won't have any customers!" He looked at Ranma and shivered. "You poor thing! You fell into the pool of the drowned boy?"

Ranma had had enough. "I'm a _guy_, dammit! I fell into the pool of the drowned girl!"

Himamashi was aghast. "Then why…?"

"Cold water triggers the curse; hot water reverses it. Which do _you _think is easier to run into?"

"You have a point." He shuddered, an awesome sight, that amount of skin crawling. "Still, I would have rather known…"

"Sorry, Himamashi-san." Ranma groaned as Shampoo happily squeezed him and Akane's glower began to reach dangerous levels. "I was hopin' to get away before anyone found out. That's why I stayed girl. Less chance of changin' in front of everyone unexpectedly."

The big man sighed and stood up straight. He looked with suspicion at Akane and Shampoo. "Are they girls? Or are they cursed too?"

Shampoo released with one hand and waved it to get his attention. "I change cat. Mousse change duck. If see cat or duck around, _ask_ before put in pot, please?"

Otaro Himamashi's eyes were bulging and his skin was turning a remarkable shade of red. He looked at Akane who was beginning to glow obviously. "What about her?"

"Oh, Akane's not cursed, certainly," offered Cologne easily. "However, she bears the distinction of being the only living person to presently have an active pool among the springs of Jusenkyo. The Akaneichuan was created only about four months ago, so we don't know yet whether changes in Akane will cause changes in whatever jumps in the pool." Cologne glanced at the subject of conversation and decided it was time to break the tension. "All right, you lazy-bones!" she shouted laying about her with her staff. Akane stopped short of her goal, as both Ranma and Shampoo were among those on the receiving end of the old woman's attention. "Get to work! We have fifty buckets of broth outside, and a hundred kilos of noodles. There's a show to put on, so let's get cracking."

* * *

Afterwards, Ranma, Akane and Ryoga stood around politely, waiting for Janet to return from changing for wrestling that evening. Even Ryoga was beginning to appreciate the joke she played on him, but they wanted to get their train tickets and escape before Shampoo was free to follow. The buckets of ramen broth were being carefully emptied into the pool, where it steamed, waiting the introduction of noodles.

Finally, the tall woman returned, and three pairs of eyes went round in shock as she twirled before them.

"What do you poor innocents think?"

"You're gonna wear that?" Ranma and Akane boggled at the next-to-nothing bikini Janet was wearing. Even Nabiki would think twice before going out in public in something like this. It was a thong-style made of some stretchy, thin, blue fabric that left _nothing _to the imagination. Ryoga expressed his opinion with a spray of blood and loss of consciousness.

"Isn't he sweet?" Janet asked, indicating the reclining Ryoga.

"Grandmother, I try?" asked Shampoo, bouncing over.

Ranma paled. He had a sudden premonition of what was coming. If only there were some way to get Akane out of here before it happened… But seconds after Cologne's nod, it came.

"Shampoo in contest Ramen Noodle Wrestling now. Pervert-girl brave enough, face Shampoo?" The violet-tressed Amazon smiled and curved past Akane with feline grace. Akane was trembling with rage. "Promise because Jan-Jan rules, no 'kiss of death' if Shampoo lose; but Shampoo no lose. Akane pretend_-_martial artist… just like she pretend-fiancée of airen."

Akane turned briefly toward Ranma, eyes flaming, ready to counter his protests. To her surprise, he rolled his eyes and shrugged; he wouldn't interfere. Smiling grimly, she looked scathingly at the Amazon and said, "You're on; but I need to get a suit." She grabbed Ranma and dragged him away from the startled and annoyed Shampoo and out the door.

Ryoga slipped out close behind. He immediately started berating Ranma. "Ranma, you pervert! I can't believe you let Akane get mixed up in this."

(SMACK!)

"I was the one challenged, Ryoga," she growled as he held his cheek astonished. "It was my call and Ranma stayed out of it for a change." She stared at her fiancé for a second. "Or did Barry tell you to stay out."

Ranma's jaw clenched. "This is Barry, Akane," the young man replied. "Ranma makes his own decisions and don't you ever forget it! He's not happy about this business, but agreed that if you were challenged, you were honor-bound and competent enough to handle it."

"You mean you think I can beat Shampoo?" Akane was startled. She was also sure she would not have heard Ranma's opinion without Barry's interference.

Ranma nodded grudgingly. "Mind ya, don't challenge her to a regular fight just yet. She's better'n you are and likely will be for a while, but ya might surprise her. Yer real good on ground-based forms. Shampoo's usually more a dancer an' a leaper like me, and yer fast enough ta plug me sometimes." Ranma suddenly reddened. "Keep yer feet planted solid an' ya might throw her outa the pool using grappling and throws. But yer gonna hafta lose yer modesty."

"My what?" Akane's eyes twitched up. "What are you talking about?"

"Ya think Shampoo'll worry if she was dancin' around in there stark naked? Barry says these shows are ta flash tits, not set rankin' fer martial artists. It's expected that sometimes the girls will lose their suits and if that's a problem, well… too bad. In fact, Shampoo might wanna embarrass ya even more'n she wants ta beat ya. So, ya gotta decide up front. What'll ya do if ya lose yer suit in front of a hundred guys with their tongues hangin' ta the floor?" Ryoga blanched and stifled a nosebleed.

Akane stopped dead and gulped. Her mouth was suddenly dry and her knees trembled. "R-Ranma, what did I g-get myself into?"

"Shit, of course. Now we gotta find the best way ta shovel it, as Barry'd tell ya." They continued down the street until Ranma saw a shop that displayed bathing suits. "Let's see what they got."

"Um, I'll wait out here." Ryoga said. Ranma glanced at him, then at the shop and reddened.

"Ya got a point, piggy-wiggy." He ignored Ryoga's growl and looked around. Not far away was a public fountain. A few slaps of cold water and girl-type Ranma sauntered in, with Akane following.

* * *

The selection of suits was small but varied. That is most of the suits were small, as in minimum coverage. Actually, there were quite a few bathing suits offered; surprising, unless you considered that most onsen were found in the mountains. Looking at the selections, one bathing suit in a deep violet material similar to Janet's caught Ranma's eye.

'_That wouldn't make half of a decent napkin, Ranma,'_ commented Barry. _'Two band-aids and a cork would do better.'_

"I know," she replied, snickering. "But it would tick off Nabiki no end, if I wore this thing at the beach next time we go. She always wants to be the most with the least." She yipped as the suit was taken out of her hands. "Hey, I want that one!"

"Mine, Ranma," Akane said briefly. She looked at the suit and shuddered.

"You can't be serious," Ranma protested. "You never wear bikinis! And how do you expect to keep that on? Get this one-piece! The strap across the back will…"

"That's why it's not right for this." She sighed and gazed at her fiancé. "You know what Shampoo will wear. If I play it safe, it's the same as surrendering. I have to outdo Shampoo in _every_ way to win. And I want to win!"

"Oh, man!" Ranma looked like she was about to burst a blood vessel, then her expression changed.

"Barry here again. Akane, if you're really set on this, I may have an idea. Ranma's told me that you've done some acting?"

"I like acting, Barry, but I haven't done much," Akane replied curiously.

"Why don't you consider the Noodle-Wrestling as a stage," Barry suggested. "I've acted in high school and college, in both comic and serious roles, and from my experience, if you immerse yourself in a role, you can ignore all sorts of things that would normally distract you."

"I suppose," Akane nodded, moistening her lips nervously with the tip of her tongue.

"Then let's find out just how _good_ and actress you can be," Barry caused Ranma's face to take on an almost evil glint.

Ranma groaned in the confines of his own head. What the hell was Barry up to?

* * *

Ukyo sighed and waved good-bye to the couple whom had taken her in.

"Come visit me sometime in Nerima at Ucchan's!" she called out. 'I hope,' she added silently.

They waved in turn and there were tears in their eyes as she turned and walked down the road to the town. Her plan was to take the bus to the nearest train station then head back to Nerima the best way.

They had heard out the long involved story of Ukyo and Ranma, and wept with her through her frustrations and recriminations. From Ukyo's tale, they were angry with Ranma for not settling the issue immediately and horrified by some of the actions she admitted to taking. Ukyo's story probably sounded much worse than it was, as she had little cause at this point to comment on times when she saved the lives of others in the gang.

Yoiko reached out and held her, as she had so often held her own children, and waited for the sobs to stop. "It seems to me, sweeting, that you have not told the whole story. You made yourself sound an ogre and we know you are not. And the boy, Ranma, obviously cares for you in some way or you would be in jail now, not wandering around the countryside." Yoiko stroked the girl's head, as she wept harder at the thought of what Ranma might or might not feel. "You have done bad things, but you should do good things and try to repair the harm. Matters of the heart sometimes go beyond honor, Yasashi, and they can make us very foolish. I am willing to bet our lodge here, that if I asked any of your former rivals or Ranma himself, I would hear many good things about you, and not just how wonderful your okonomiyaki is!" Ukyo laughed at that, but had not really been convinced by her arguments.

So now, she marched down the road, tears in her eyes and her sorrow darkening her heart. She wasn't even sure she wanted to go back, but Ucchan's was all she had now. Maybe her best bet was to see if she could settle with Ranma, so that the damage she had caused would be set against that damnable yatai her father had pledged so long ago. Then, she would pack up, leave and go somewhere else.

She sobbed suddenly, remembering the times when they all charged off on some crazy quest to save Ranma from his own stubbornness, usually rescuing Akane… '_Dammit_!'

If only she'd admitted to herself that Ranma wanted a friend in her, not a lover or wife. But Ranma was so special that even being in the running was worth the risk, wasn't it? She sniffed and wiped her eyes. She better pay attention to where she was going. It felt like she had wandered off the road. She looked up, then spun around in consternation.

Later that afternoon, a lone figure trudged up the road to the lodge. Dusty, tired, the slender man staggered up to the manager's desk and rang the bell. Zadai appeared after a few moments. He had not been expecting anyone. The young man (yes, he was pretty sure it was a young man) looked exhausted but determined and worried. Before he could introduce himself, his new guest had burst out, "I am looking for Ukyo Kuonji. I understand that she worked here for a time under the name of Yasashi. Could I see her please?"

"And you are?"

"Just tell her it is Konatsu. I am looking after her restaurant while she is away. Is it true she could not remember who she was?" The words were bursting out of the young man faster than Zadai could work out answers.

"Well, it is true her memory was lost for a time, but when she left this morning…"

"This morning?" Konatsu gasped. "So close! Did she say where she was going?"

"Back to Nerima, I understand. She asked us to visit if we ever had the chance to go. Is everything all right?"

"I hope so," said the ninja sincerely.

Somewhere in the north woods, a ragged girl stumbled through the underbrush. She tried backtracking herself, but her trail wandered here and there, often circling and obscuring itself. Breathing heavily, she found a young ash tree and worked on extracting it, snapping it off a meter and a half long. She left the bark on for a better grip.

She knew that somehow she had gotten lost. Was this how it was for Ryoga? You lost yourself first in your anguish and depression, then found you had no idea where you were. At least Ryoga had grown up with it, expecting the disorientation. She was just scared and lost and starting to get hungry. Was this what she had done before? Don't panic. Think! How do you find a town? People?

Find a stream and follow it down. That was the trick. Eventually, you'd come to people. People tended to live along watercourses. She stumbled downhill and found a tiny stream.

By the time darkness came the stream had disappeared into the ground. Depressed, Ukyo slumped against a tree, then looked around for dry wood. It looked like she was spending the night. She finally got the fire started and pulled out the pocket lunch she had packed before she left. She was almost too tired to eat.

'It just isn't fair!' she cried to herself. 'Was what I did really that evil? I loved him!' And she had lost him… and now she had lost herself as well, again.

"_Where am I_?" she screamed at the night sky.

Nothing answered and the verdant growth soaked up the sound of her scream as if it had never been.


	14. Hot Soup

**Guest Ki: Chapter 13**

_**Hot Soup**_

Akane stood in the cloakroom of the bar. Her body was covered by a robe to her knees, hiding her form from the mass of humanity accumulating around the stage. Ranma leaned across the rope and gave her a thumbs-up. The cloakroom was roped off from the noisy mass of humanity to avoid having the contestants molested as they waited for the contest. Ryoga had volunteered to act as additional crowd control to protect Akane in particular. He hadn't seen the suit yet but had heard some of the planning and was distinctly unhappy.

Barry was allowed control long enough to murmur, "And so the curtain lifts, the lights illuminate the stage; with regal bearing she strides the boards as a conqueror."

"Are you taking lessons from Kuno, Barry?" Akane growled. They had worked on her role – she was confident she had it down pat – Couldn't Barry just leave it alone?

"Cut it out, Barry-Baka," Ranma muttered, taking over. Akane smiled at his rebuke. "She'll be fine."

One by one, the other contestants joined her in the room. Akane was oblivious, concentrating on the odd strategy session she had undergone earlier, when they returned from buying the suit.

"…_So anyway," Ranma concluded the strategy part of Akane's briefing, "don't hesitate to use any advantage that comes up. If Shampoo does what we suspect, she'll hesitate right after she makes her move, ta gloat." Ranma shrugged easily. "If ya can act then, ya just might pull it off. Remember what Kolberg-san said, the rules are like sumo wrestling. Slapping, grabbing or pushing, they're all allowed. If either of ya fall inta the noodles or get thrown outa the pool, ya lose. So watch yer stance."_

_Akane winced and half-covered herself. "Will you two stop talking about 'pulling things off''? It's not helping!" _

_Ranma threw up her hands and turned things over to Barry. "Okay, Akane," Barry said, "Time for role-playing. You hate boys, right?"_

"_Well…" She looked at Ranma and blushed. Barry felt the electric thrill Ranma enjoyed and ignored it with difficulty._

"_Come on, Akane. You know what I mean — stupid, disgusting, pervert boys who imagine they have some special God-given right to include you in their sick fantasies, simply because they're male."_

"Boys_!" Akane suddenly said with loathing._

'_Kami, Barry!' Ranma exclaimed as Akane went into battle-set. 'You want bring down the place? Literally! You don't know what she's like when she's in full Tomboy-mode.' _

'_It's a necessary association, Ranma. Be patient.' To Akane, he now said, "Yes, boys are often perverts, Akane. Especially as teenagers, their hormones are raging and they literally don't think with their brains. Pitiful, isn't it?" _

_Akane glowered. "When are we getting to the characterization, Barry?" she growled. "Disgusting BOYS…" she added._

"_We're developing it right now, sweetheart," Barry replied. "Now, think about how pitiful they are, these boys. Of course, after Ranma's training, they can't hurt you anymore."_

"_They can't…" Akane seemed doubtful for a moment, considering what Barry said._

"_You were worried before. When all those boys used to come at you, all at once, there was a chance someone might get lucky or the sheer mass of them might wear you down. You felt that if someone ever managed to beat you, he could demand far more than 'dating'. But, that can't happen anymore."_

"_But…"_

"_You would conquer them. Not defeat, not merely hold off, not fight to a standstill. You._ _Would._ _Conquer! You could move through those idiots without even touching them now. They're no longer worth the effort. They certainly couldn't touch you. They wouldn't dare! Because now, you're in _control_."_

"_I'm… in control," Akane said hesitently, then with more confidence, "I'm in control."_

_Ranma sat in his mind's back seat, looking for reasons why Akane was acting almost hypnotized. 'Barry, what are you doing to Akane?'_

'_I'm helping her set up her character, Ranma. What's wrong?' Barry sounded as if he had no idea that anything was out of the ordinary. _

"_I'm in control!" Akane murmured, a smirk tugging at her lips.A steely mask dropped over her expressive features. _

"_That's right, Akane. You and your character are in control. They can't touch you. Trust in your new skills and let them look like the fools they are." Barry smiled with satisfaction as Akane's ki shifted. "It looks like you're getting into it quickly. Shall we give your character a name?"_

"_No need, Barry-san" she answered, grinning almost savagely but staring into space. "My name is Akane of the House of Tendo. I need no other!"_

_Internally Ranma gulped. Barry stepped back surprised at the sudden feeling of confidence Akane exuded. "Ri-ight!" Barry frowned and stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Do I need to show you how you should walk to add to the effect?"Their hair rose on end as Ranma's danger sense kicked into gear._

"_No need, Barry. I know exactly what to do now." Had Herb met Akane now he would haveducked for cover._

_Ranma gibbered inside his shared body. 'Kamisama! It's ALIVE!' Unheard manic babbling echoed in the dark corners of his mind. 'Akane's become Princess…'_

'_Shut up, Ranma,' Barry winced at the unfinished thought. Just what had he done? _

* * *

Ranma and Ryoga turned their eyes front to watch for men who might forget themselves in the excitement. After the planning session, during a few moments of privacy, they had worked off steam on one another behind the building. Now they stood like a wall. No one was going to bother Akane before it was time. Fortunately, only a few of the arriving customers did more than try to glance past them. Those few were inspired to go elsewhere.

"Hey, Ranma!" two voices chorused.

Ranma jumped. 'Oh, no,' he thought, 'Not them!' He turned.

Hiroshi and Daisuke stood bright and eager like puppies looking for any spare food or a scratch behind the ears. Ranma groaned, while Ryoga looked questioningly at the pair. He never went to Furinkan long enough to recognize the two.

"We were looking at the tube, yah know? And we saw you and Akane and Ryoga here, working in the background?" rambled Daisuke. "We figured we might take a run out this way and…"

Ranma grabbed one in each hand and lifted them off the floor. "What are you two doing here?" he growled.

"Ack! (Gasp!) Ranma! The babes! We're here to see the babes!"

"Go somewhere else!" He put them down again solidly. They stumbled back, startled by his vehemence. Daisuke glanced past him into the cloakroom. And his jaw dropped.

"Hey! Is that Akane in there?" Hiroshi's head snapped over so fast, he developed a crick, which didn't prevent him from getting a good look.

"Kami! Akane is wrestling tonight! _Wow_—_Urk_!" Ranma grabbed them both again.

"I said, go somewhere else!" Ranma shook them firmly, coincidentally fixing Hiroshi's crick.

"But we're paying customers!"

"I _said_, 'Take a hike'!" Ranma's voice lowered two octaves. A faint red glow sprang out like a cloak on Ranma's shoulders then rose up in a demon-cat head, fangs clashing and dripping. Hiroshi and Daisuke's eyes bugged. They fainted. This startled Ranma and Barry so much, they dropped the pair.

"What do you think you're doing?" hissed Himamashi angrily. He missed the cathead aura and only saw two customers being roughly handled. Ranma blinked and stared down at his friends. Shame washed over him.

"I am sorry, Himamashi-san. There is no excuse." He stood there, eyes to the floor. 'For kami's sake!' he thought. 'It was only Hiroshi and Daisuke! They're even my friends… or were.' He knelt down and shook them lightly. "C'mon, guys, I'm sorry! You know how I get…"

Hiroshi, then Daisuke, showed signs of life. Both cringed away from Ranma as he gripped them by the shoulders and apologized again. Both looked for the aura thing then slowly relaxed. Daisuke eyed Ranma.

"Dammit, I'm sorry, guys, I just…"

"Just got crazy about Akane again, huh?" offered Hiroshi innocently. Ranma blushed and started to deny it, then glanced in at Akane only a few meters away. Hiroshi chuckled thoughtfully. "Why is she competing, Ranma?"

"Shampoo's here, too. Challenged her to fight."

"Shampoo's here?" drooled Daisuke.

"Ranma, we accept your apology," they chorused. Then Daisuke added, "Of course, if you want to sweeten it a little…"

"No, Daisuke. I won't go out with you in girl-type." Ranma's mouth was twisted in a grin however. With Daisuke, you always knew what to expect. "Anyone else here?"

"Well, actually…"

"Tell me Kuno and Kodachi didn't come."

"Kuno and Kodachi didn't come," they chorused. Ranma looked at them suspiciously for long moments. "_Really_!" Hiroshi emphasized, when he realized what his friend was thinking.

"Lotsa other folks did, though," added Dai. "We dropped over at the Tendo's. They were cleaning up after the freak again. Nabiki thought it would be a great idea…"

"On second thought, tell me Kuno and Kodachi came," moaned Ranma. "They might break this thing up!" He smacked himself in the head. "She brought the entire rumor squad with her, didn't she?"

"You know Nabiki," Hiroshi nodded.

Unconsciously, Himamashi, who was just about back to normal color-wise, nodded also. "She's a character! Your Akane's sister?"

"Yah! We think she's studying to be Yakuza. All information costs money."

"She offered me a flat fee and a generous one, if I'd let her run the booking operations on the fight."

"Didja take her up on it?" Ranma asked with a sinking heart. He didn't want Himamashi ripped off by the middle Tendo.

"Of course not!" the big sumo snorted. "I always go with a percentage of the gross."

Ranma's friends took this opportunity to escape. After bowing to the looming Himamashi, they bellowed into the dressing room, "_Good luck, Akane_!"

Akane looked up, met their eyes and nodded in recognition without changing expression.

"What's wrong with Hibiki-san?" Himamashi asked, indicating Ryoga with a jerk of his head. The lost-boy apparently had been flattened against the far wall since Ranma lost his temper with Hiroshi and Daisuke.

"Got me," Ranma said as he reached over and shook his friend. Ryoga jerked as if he had been in a deep sleep.

"Ranma! What?" He looked at Ranma then looked around wildly. "The cat…" Ranma jumped and swallowed. The last thing he needed was a cat around.

"Where, Ryoga?" he demanded. Ryoga stared at him as if he'd lost his mind. Ranma looked back in the cloakroom but apparently they had seen nothing. He didn't realize that his attempt to move Hiroshi and Daisuke away from the doorway had prevented any of the girls from seeing the aura manifestation. Akane was talking quietly to another girl who had her back to them.

"It's… gone now," Ryoga said shakily. "I'll talk to you about it later." He returned to his place at the door across from Ranma.

Ranma resumed his. His hair prickled from time to time a result of his trained senses registering Ryoga's eyes watching him. He hoped Ryoga would stop that; it would foul his ability to detect trouble coming. If the Nerima betting pool was here who knew what was coming next.

While Ranma was dealing with the perverted pair, a cloaked form came softly up to Akane. "Akane Tendo?" The girl smiled companionably at Akane, but so lost was she in her role creation, for several seconds she had no idea whom she was facing.

"Akari?"

"Shhh!" Akari waved her to silence. "I don't want Ryoga to know I'm here yet."

"What are you doing here, Akari," she whispered back. "Oh! Ryoga, of course. I'm sorry."

Akari sniffed, holding back tears. "I miss him so much, Akane! I don't know why he left." She shook her head in an agony of indecision as to what to say next. "When I saw him on the TV, I had to come; but I couldn't face him!" She blushed. "Then I heard that you were doing the Ramen Noodle Wrestling. When I heard the rules… Why, it was just like wallow wrestling. It was perfect!"

"Perfect? How?"

"That's one way farm girls attract the eye of their boyfriends, Akane," she said as if it should be obvious. "There's no sense in getting good clothes dirty when you're wrestling in mud!"

Akane blushed. This was not the way to prepare for her combat and Akari was such a sweet person. Akane had heard Ryoga's brief explanation, but it wasn't for her to tell. If she did, it wouldn't solve anything. She was very much afraid there was no solution for Akari's dilemma.

Shampoo and Janet were among the last to join the competitors. At the sight of her rival, Akane's persona clicked back into place. Win or lose, she was not going to give Shampoo any satisfaction from it. Shampoo gave Akane a wicked, depreciating smile. It drew no reaction at all. Shampoo frowned as she walked past. Her opponent was acting atypically. She threw up her head and continued past. Whatever it meant, Shampoo would be ready.

* * *

Steam rose from the pool of ramen and cheers roared out as Himamashi strode up the sturdy stairs and stood looming in the smoke-filled room.

"Welcome, my friends!" The crowd roared and laughed, eager for the evening to commence. "Tonight is an elimination battle between lovely ladies eager to demonstrate their skills in combat." A roar of approval met this. "Twenty-four young ladies, some with impressive credentials, including TWO of the legendary Amazons of China, will compete tonight! Fortunately, in respect for the laws of our country, they have promised NOT to track down and kill their opponent should they be defeated!" There was nervous laughter among the ladies of the audience. "Be warned! They take combat VERY seriously and wed outsider men only if they prove themselves worthy by defeating them. So watch your hands, gentlemen! You might draw back a bloody stump if your passions lead you astray!"

There was general laughter, some of it nervous.

"As a special treat, we have a real honest-to-kami GRUDGE MATCH between two of our contestants. Both are highly skilled martial artists and will face off regardless of whether either contestant is eliminated during the preliminaries. But first, let's meet our contestants!" He waved toward the cloakroom and the aisle they would traverse. "Let's hear it for Susumu Dokoritsu!"

As he read their names off, each contestant handed her robe to Ranma or Ryoga and proceeded down the runway, circled the stage and returned. Shampoo was called out before Akane or Akari and was adorned predictably in a brief, red string-bikini similar to the one she had worn during the ill-fated sailing trip with Kuno and the gang. She bounced down the aisle and around the stage to the cheers of the crowd. It was obvious she would be a favorite. Akari's name was drawn soon after. Ryoga looked puzzled until she draped her robe over his arm and smiled at him.

Her suit was a modest two-piece in cut, but looked as if it had been crocheted. The result was more like net and threatened to reveal what little it covered. Ryoga stood like stone, a tiny trickle of blood escaping his left nostril. Ranma, and internally Barry, looked up in shock at the calling of her name. They viewed this meeting with a sense of surprise and calculation. Surprise that Ryoga was still standing. Calculating how much longer that would last and what Ryoga's true feelings were for this girl. She progressed, blushing yet proud, down the runway and back again, retrieving her robe as she passed. There were quite a few catcalls and a few coarse remarks. Ranma and Barry were amused to see Ryoga's fist clench, his eyes narrow and his nostrils flare.

Two contestants later, Akane's name was called. She handed her robe to Ranma and strode easily down the aisle. Ryoga was still frozen from his meeting with Akari.

The fabric of her suit was a sheer, soft, shimmering violet. Three almost equal-sized triangles covered breasts and groin. Each triangle would easily have fit on Akane's open hand and were edged by black silk ribbons about a centimeter wide. The ribbons also provided the only means of support for the fabric. Akane had less on, before more people, than she ever had in her life. Under normal circumstances, she would have been looking for some place to hide.

"I am Akane, of the House of Tendo. I neither bow nor blush for any man not my equal or better," she murmured as she passed Ranma, assuming her character he had privately labeled, 'Princess _Tomboy_'.

Ranma felt his breathing quicken as she passed. Her training had taken place under the trees of the Northern woods. Now that the berry stains had finally washed out, her skin was an even, creamy color no lines from sunbathing. He found he was aware of everything about her. The smooth muscularity, the swing of arm and sway of her hips as she paced forward; from behind she might as well have been naked. Only tiny silk strands of black crossed her at mid-back and hip, and appeared and divided at the top of those hard mounds of muscle. Ranma stared at her back and had to use every bit of his will to prevent himself from following down the aisle after her and toward the unruly crowd. He started heating up the special weaponry, the new ki techniques. If anyone outside of the match tried to mess with _his_ Akane… well…!

Barry was silent for a change. He knew Ranma had always been aware of Akane's femininity. But between the flagrant seduction attempts by Shampoo and Kodachi among others, and their insane aggression, he had pushed such dangerous awareness into the background. Ranma's physical and mental reactions were like echoes in time to him; familiar, sharp, pure, like a new vintage of a well-known wine.

The crowd, which had been cheering the sight of the prior scantily clad girl, quieted as Akane moved forward. She looked neither left nor right, and it was her proud elegance and grace that slowly silenced the house. Where many of the other girls blushed and dodged away from the occasional grabbing hand or even provoked such invasions of personal space, she seemed oblivious to them. A hand would reach out, then seem almost to whither and pull back abashed.

'I am Akane, of the House of Tendo. I neither bow nor blush for any man not my equal or better,' she chanted silently to herself over and over again. The anger of her revulsion was subsumed by the icy certainty of her confidence. In her own way, she achieved a spiritual state similar to Ranma's Soul of Ice in its purity.

The crowd started up again but instead of catcalls, they were chanting her name. Hiroshi and Daisuke, along with some of the dates of Nabiki's crew had, as Ranma expected, been standing there with their tongues scrubbing the floor in reaction to the various girls. Shampoo in particular, had inspired their libidos.

Akane had won their _respect_.

She was inviolate, untouchable, and she moved with a grace that Ranma had not really noticed before. As she returned to the cloakroom, he drank in the clean lines and asked himself several times why he had ever called her un-cute. He, too, almost reached out, but hesitated, feeling that his hand might burn from mere proximity. As she passed him, reaching for her robe, Akane glanced at him with a look from the corner of her eyes that curled his toes. Then she winked and passed on. Ranma found himself checking for a nosebleed and Ryoga was frankly turned away, not daring to see more than he already had.

It was only as she passed that Ranma thought to look at Shampoo to gauge her reaction. The Amazon was _livid_. Even Janet Kolberg's practiced entrance at the end of the pre-show did not gain the same accord as the youngest Tendo. Akane had won round one.

* * *

Overhead, in the shadowy spaces a drooling form huddled. A small withered hand reached up with a handkerchief to dab at sweat rolling from his balding head.

"Whoever invented this kind of competition," he muttered, "should be awarded the Nobel Prize!" He shivered in anticipation. "Wrestling? In those suits? How… convenient. And Akane… _hotcha_! She's changed, and all for the better! That suit is dynamite!" His self-control had been bolstered only by the fact that, if he were just a little more patient, he would get to see a lot more than girls in suits and many of those suits would be damaged and charged with the ki of the combatants. Perfect for an old man like him to get a super-charge. He shivered. He needed to distract himself before the fights started. Of course! Those girls didn't arrive in those bikinis. There was a dressing room around somewhere with lots of used underwear. He might even try to match up the silky darlings with their owners as a game.

Silently he hopped from beam to beam, not even disturbing the dust. He had to be careful not to alert Ranma. Fortunately, there was so much noise and Ranma was so distracted, it was not a great risk. Using his techniques of hiding and distraction, he exited the bar to search for the entrance the girls must have used on the way in. Periodically he sniffed the air, searching for a hint of perfume to help him home in. Fortune presented itself in the presence of a huge, soft mound of dirt right under a window.

"Well," he said to himself, softly. "You never can tell when opportunity knocks. Let's check it out." He leaped lightly atop the mass and peered in the window. "Hmmm. No lights." He reached into his gi and pulled out a slim penlight. Its narrow beam played across the inside of the room.

"Ahhh!" His exhalation spoke volumes. The room was a storeroom and supplies were neatly packed on shelves and in bins. But close to the door were paper and cloth bags with neatly folded clothes peeping out the top. Jackpot!

Then the mound of dirt stirred and rumbled. Happosai, startled, lost his footing and bounced down the side of the mound. Frozen with horror, he watched what he assumed was a mound of dirt, twist and bounce like some huge unearthly slug. Ponderously one end of the mound heaved itself up and turned toward him. Happosai fumbled with his penlight and focused the beam wide.

"_Waugh_!"

An enormous pig was blinking sleepily in the flashlight's beam. It clashed toothy jaws that could have swallowed Happi in a bite and snorted at the gaping form before it. Convulsively, it twisted away and the whole body seemed to tower over the master of perversion like a wave. Katsunishiki rolled to bring more of the cooling earth in contact with his huge form. Happosai moved a little too late. (CRUNCH!) The pig grunted contentedly. It found some small protrusion in the ground that exactly matched its itchy spot. It rolled and twisted in pleasure before subsiding on its side, asleep once more.

After several minutes, a bulge appeared in the pig's fat near the ground. Then a fold of flesh heaved up and a dirty, bruised and battered Happosai squirmed free of the pig's bulk. "Pigs! Why am I having so much trouble with pigs, lately," he grated. He kicked Katsunishiki in its side, eliciting a tiny grunt for his efforts. "I don't know how, but this must be Ranma's fault!" He staggered away and looked at the window, then back at the pig, its ears twitching in the dark. He wove away drunkenly, foiled for the moment. Maybe he could sneak in and cop a few good feels to recharge. He chuckled weakly. A few girls would think their dates were being a little more amorous than usual and he'd be back to full power, ready for the rest of the evening.

* * *

As the girls dispersed in their robes to their respective dates, protectors, husbands or friends, calls for drinks and food went around. It was important for the bar to take care of its customers before the action started and between the series of combats. Himamashi's servers hurried around taking orders and running the kitchen crazy. Cologne was there helping. The extra ramen she brought was going for five times the usual rate, labeled as 'Wrestling Ramen'.

Ryoga and Ranma watched all this with a sense of disgust and dread. The former turned to Ranma. "Remember how I used to say that 'because of you, I'd seen hell'?"

"What about it, Ryoga?" Ranma scanned the room. He was in the nervous position of having Shampoo leaning on him from one side and Akane from the other, each coolly ignoring her rival across him. He felt that, had boiling water been poured on him at that moment, it would freeze so fast the ice cubes wouldn't be damp enough to curse him.

"I had no ideawhat I was talking about." Akari, leaning possessively against him, looked hurt. His face became a twisted mass of conflicting emotions. "I don't mean you, Akari!" It twisted again and he tried to elucidate. "Well, your being here doesn't help…" The corner of her mouth twitched and tears welled up. "I mean…"

"He means he's afraid for you, Akari. This is a strange place and you're going to be fighting someone in front of a group of strange men he doesn't trust and he worries about whether he can protect you."

Ryoga looked shocked and not sure whether to be grateful or not. Then Akari's arms met behind his back and he was the recipient of a warm, grateful hug, which after a second, he returned gently. He looked over her head and mouthed 'Barry?' at Ranma. Ranma nodded briefly and rolled his eyes. Barry chose the damnedest times to stick his nose in.

Shampoo looked from Ryoga to Ranma. Who or what was 'Berry'? It sounded like the English word for a small fruit that grew on bushes or was it 'bury' as in dig a hole and cover something? Actually, it meant something in several of the languages she was familiar with, but none of them pertained to Ramen Noodle Wrestling, girls in bikinis, crowded bars or annoying rivals. Also, Ranma was the pits when it came to saying the right thing. Maybe this was what grandmother called a random incident.

"The only thing that could make this worse," groaned Ryoga, "would be Happosai."

"Shut up, pig-boy!" Shampoo released Ranma long enough, to snarl in Ryoga's face. "Pervert-master, big pain since Ranma go running off to woods with pervert-girl!"

"I agree with the bimbo for once, Ryoga! Don't mention that name again." Akane shuddered, her concentration broken for a moment.

"Shampoo glomped three times one day, only yesterday! Have bruises!" She glanced slyly, under her lashes at Ranma. "Want see bruises, airen?" She reached up and began undoing her top. Ranma froze.

Akane didn't. "We'll take your word for it, Shampoo. Unless, of course, you want me to show Ranma _my_ bruises, the ones I got while we were together in the woods? I don't think I made a fuss about them, but…"

Round two to Akane.

Ranma sputtered. "Bu-bu-but, I didn't… We didn't… _Akane_!" His face was as red as his favorite shirt.

Shampoo glowered and pouted. She couldn't wait to get Akane in that pool of ramen. She just might slip a bit and do some damage as well as expose this prude in front of all these strange men. Despite being next to Ranma, she felt very alone here. She wished Cologne had not made Mousse work in the kitchen.

"All right, ladies and gentlemen," Himamashi's voice rang out by the stage. "We're ready for the preliminary matches to start!" Cheering drowned him out for several minutes.

"Rules are similar to sumo. Pushing, shoving, open hand slaps and body throws are all allowed. No punching gouging or striking with the edge of hands. _Positively_ no kicking! Tripping is permitted. Contestants will move to the center of the pool, bow, bring their hands up to shoulder height in front of them and meet palm to palm." He demonstrated. "As soon as both hands meet, the match begins! I am the final judge. If it's too close to call, the match will be rerun." He brought out a clean plastic bucket and showed the audience the folded scraps of paper that were within.

"Opponents will be selected by lottery. Final four girls have drinks on the house. Winner will take the entire pot. As we have twenty-four contestants, that will be a prize of one hundred ninety-two thousand yen. That's over fifteen hundred U.S. dollars!"

The crowd roared again. Dramatically, Himamashi covered the bucket, shook it and offered the selection to one of the audience. He received the piece of paper, and offered the bucket to someone else for the second name.

"The first contestants are: Noiko Sensatsu and Eriko Yamada!"

Loud cheers greeted the girls' movement to the stage. Noiko kept her robe on until she gained the stage then threw it back to the tall slender man who was apparently her date, revealing her green two-piece. Eriko discarded her robe at her seat and had a little trouble making it to the steps while retaining her more modest black bikini. Ranma and Ryoga had to intervene, glared at the offenders — some of whom had seen Ranma's cat-aura earlier — and acted as escorts.

"Both girls come to the center of the pool," commanded Himamashi. "Please observe all courtesies. Fight with honor!"

The girls gingerly lowered themselves into the thigh-deep broth and noodles. One of them squealed briefly at the feel of them against her skin, causing a ripple of laughter in the murmuring audience. They met about an arm length apart and gave one another a good long look. Then they bowed and brought up their hands, slowly moving into contact. The hands met.

Ramen flew up as both girls moved suddenly, shifting and twisting as they sought for a good grip. Many in the front row of the audience brought up their plastic sheets to shield themselves from the splashes. Neither girl showed any timidity, both quickly becoming drenched with the salty broth. This made gaining a grip more difficult to acquire and exploit. Finally, Eriko reached a little too powerfully and slipped. Noiko immediately exploited the advantage using leverage and an extended leg to trip her opponent into the broth.

As the spectators lowered their shields after the splash, Noiko was already helping her opponent up, making sure she was all right. They bowed to each other, giggled and climbed out of the pool.

"Noiko will move on to the second round!" the old sumo wrestler announced, placing a card on the leader board at the bar. "Next we have Kiyoshi Matasama challenging Umiiko Batsutara!"

Shampoo frowned at the previous two contestants. They had fought furiously, if unskillfully, then acted as if they were two friends helping one another out of a puddle. Amazons fought seriously; a loss was shameful and lowered one's status and a win, cause for self-congratulation and boasting. She was missing something again and she hated it. Choosing her words carefully, she asked the only person she could — Ranma.

"Why girls no-not angry when lose? They laugh," she watched one of the next pair suddenly flail as she lost balance. The crowd roared; it wasn't all she'd lost! The winner, pumped the air once in victory, then retrieved her opponent's top. She also stuck her tongue out at some of the men, who hissed in disappointment when she acted as a screen, while the other got things rearranged.

"That one… She act like… like… Shampoo not know word for way she act. But not act like Amazon warrior!" whispered Shampoo in an upset tone. Ranma looked down at her but remained silent.

Would Jan-Jan act like this? She looked around for her 'aunt', but she was across the room behind the bar acting as bartender while awaiting her turn and was busy as well. Cologne was in the kitchen, as was Mousse and he probably wouldn't know. She turned back to Ranma and glared up at him. He was her airen. It was his dutyto help her in something like this.

The look in his eyes was alien somehow and made her move away slightly. He wet his lips and spoke in a quiet, respectful tone quite unlike him. "It is a matter of courtesy and an acknowledgment of courage, Shampoo. Each girl risks something trying to win — dignity, modesty, some pain and embarrassment. It's only proper that one should be as careful of one's opponent's honor as one's own."

She stared for long seconds, then shuddered and looked away. "It not Amazon way."

"The people in the audience will think you are a bad person if you don't act like they do, Shampoo."

She sniffed at Ranma's words. "You worry Shampoo make fool of pervert-girl," she said turning, her eyes flashing. Akane, on the other side of Ranma, took notice and set herself to defend Ranma and herself, if Shampoo decided to get physical.

Shampoo was startled when Ranma leaned closer, instead of backing away at her tone. "That's between you and Akane. But you'll probably be fighting other girls, either before or after Akane, and you aren't angry with them." Ranma spoke intently. "If you treat them with contempt, your skill will mean nothing to the audience. You'll be considered a bully and they will despise you."

Shampoo sank back into herself and considered. "Thank you," she said absently. She squeezed Ranma's arm briefly and relaxed.

Ranma and Akane exchanged glances as Shampoo mulled over her latest lesson in outsider social values. 'Barry, do ya hafta keep butting in all the time?' asked an annoyed Ranma silently.

'_I was concerned with how the crowd's reaction might affect Shampoo's judgment, Ranma,'_ came the reply, _'if they started booing her.'_

'Booing?'

'_Hissing, then, or whatever you folks do to show disapproval. Shampoo strikes me as a very social creature, no matter how much she claims to be self-sufficient.'_

Ranma thought a bit then agreed. The Amazon was always trying to be the top of the pile, but needed the pile's approval to really shine.

'_She might misunderstand why everyone was angry with her and think it's because of the challenge to Akane. She might really try to hurt her then, despite the rules.'_

'Akane could handle her till I got there.'

'_That's not the point, Ranma,'_ Barry warned. _'As soon as you did that, it would be open war with the Amazons. You will have chosen Akane over Shampoo. I know you don't want that… yet.'_ Ranma nodded then, understanding immediately what his nearness to the problem had obscured.

'Thanks.' Ranma was rarely long on praise, but the internal wrench and set of muscles told Barry that it was sincere.

"Janet Kolberg and Akari Unryu!" bellowed Himamashi.

Ryoga flinched and turned just in time for Akari to doff her robe and hand it to him. He glanced over at Jani-san, coming from behind the bar. He turned back to Akari. He hadn't considered till now, that this girl, who cared enough about him to come nearly a hundred kilometers, might be fighting a woman who, until today, he thought was pursuing him as property. His level of sympathy with Ranma was on the rise. Should he warn her? Would she understand? Would the two decide to attack him in a mistaken belief that he was some perverted womanizer? Suddenly, he was considering the possibility that survival might be a subject in question at this event — _his_! "Akari, I…"

She stopped him and smiled in a very possessive way. "I heard about her joke, Ryoga," she said. "I know it wasn't your fault. And don't be worried. Just have fun. Win or lose, I'll be back." She exited down the aisle and joined her opponent on the stage. She bowed deeply to Jani-san and spoke briefly, causing the older woman to laugh and shrug. Then they slid into the pool.

Gingerly, they reached out and met palm to palm. For a frozen instant, the tall blond Janet loomed over dark Akari. Janet moved to grip Akari's arm in preparation for a hip-throw. Akari let her braced feet slide across the bottom of the pool as she let Janet's strength pull her in. She twisted as she slid, reaching with her free hand under Janet's shoulder, ducking low to brace her own shoulder against the tight abdomen of the Amazon. With a thrust of Akari's legs and back, the blond was launched vertically. Mouth pursed in an 'O' of astonishment, Janet twisted spectacularly, bringing her feet down with a splash. Throwing her arms back, wind-milling, she caught her balance against the side of the pool. Akari kept her eyes on her opponent and used one foot to push off the side of the pool, skating toward the astonished Amazon. Janet had time to grin in appreciation before they were grappling again.

Ryoga's jaw dropped in amazement. He had never considered that Akari's skills with her sumo pigs could be translated into the thrashing violence exhibited in the pool. His gentle, soft-spoken farm girl was brawling with a calculated abandon that shocked him. He glanced briefly at Akane who watched impassively. Grinding his fangs, the young man turned back and shook his head. He would never understand women. Never!

Akari ducked low again. With the Amazon's advantage in height, reach and weight, it was important to get in close and attack using her lower center of balance and her leg strength. Janet, trying to keep her distance, went for a grip on Akari's shoulder, which tangled in the top of her suit. Akari wrenched, letting her top slide off in favor of the advantage of closing with Janet, reaching low to lock hands around a thigh.

The crowd roared its approval. They had gotten their money's worth this time. This was a _battle_! Also, Akari's earlier shyness and present pluckiness caught their attention. They roared again as she wrenched and lifted, almost sending Janet over. The taller woman collapsed down and away, keeping her weight over her feet, but also pressing down on the shorter girl. Her longer arms reached over and around, locking just under Akari's breasts.

For ten long seconds, Akari pushed and wrenched back and forth, striving to get Janet off balance and throw her. Janet struggled to keep her balance, set her feet and lift Akari's feet up enough to drop her into the ramen or roll her out of the pool. They twisted about the pool sending sheets of broth and noodles over the sides. The catch basin was awash. Then Janet's heels struck the side of the pool and she had the instant of leverage she needed.

"_Whoop_!" Akari had time for a single exclamation before disappearing into the broth with an enormous splash. Immediately, Janet reached down and hauled Akari to her feet. The farm girl shook her head and coughed from a mouthful that had gone down the wrong way. Janet patted her hard on the back then sat her on the edge of the pool as she hunted for Akari's top.

Ryoga was at the poolside the instant Akari had been thrown but she waved him off. "Let me get hosed off first, Ryoga," she said weakly. "I want to wear that, but not if it's soaked in ramen." She coughed hard again and, as Ryoga patted her back, she raised her arms overhead to help clear her esophagus.

"What are you doing?" the young man hissed embarrassed.

"Oh, Ryoga," she said with a hint of a smile, "people see more at onsen, for goodness sake!" Still, she gratefully accepted her top when Janet retrieved it and a helping hand as they exited the pool.

Janet took her applause as victor, but made a point of following the pair out the door to where a hose was hooked up to rinse off between bouts. "By the Powers, you were a surprise!" Janet exclaimed as they exited. "That's the best fight I've had in ages." She laughed madly which caused Ryoga to flinch. "You better hang on to her, piggy-wiggy, or you're a fool! Of course, if she doesn't want to be held, you're going to have your work cut out for you."

"Uhhh… Thanks. I think," Ryoga muttered, then asked Akari, "Are you going to be all right? I, ah, have to go back and be a bouncer."

Akari smiled at him then pulled him down for a quick, surprising kiss. "You go ahead. I'm going to introduce Jani-san to Katsunishiki, if she has a minute." She picked up the hose and turned it on herself.

"You brought him along?"

"Who's Katsunishiki? Your brother? If he is, I'm really taken already," said Janet smiling, taking the hose from Akari. "Unless he's real cute, like Ryoga here!" Ryoga blushed and turned away as Janet was making a very thorough job of washing off the ramen.

"He's my prize sumo pig."

"Sumo PIG? This, I've gotta see!"

The girls left Ryoga to his own devices and walked around the corner of the building.

* * *

Inside, Ranma and Barry watched Shampoo out of the corner of their eyes. She had jumped up and down and cheered her aunt in Amazon solidarity, then stood frozen with astonishment as Akari nearly beat the champion. They noticed she paid close attention to how solicitous Janet was of Akari's health and modesty and how she spoke to her defeated opponent, praising her skills as they left. Ranma could feel Barry banging for attention.

'Who ya gonna talk to this time?'

'_Shampoo! I want to see if this is radically different from how Amazons usually treat opponents and see if I can point out the advantages…'_

'No.'

'_But…'_

'_No_! We've talked to her enough. Any more, an' she'll think we're snubbin' Akane and choosin' her! Heck, Akane might decide we're doin' that.' He shook his head slightly over the internal discussion. 'We're between a rock an' a hard place. You let _me_ get us into trouble. I'm used to it!'

"SHAMPOO!" bellowed Himamashi suddenly, bringing cheers from the throng. They turned their attention to the stage. The retired sumo had directed cleanup with a shop-vac and had overseen refilling the pool with ramen. Now, as he introduced the next bout, Shampoo and Akane seemed like charged wires in each hand, sparking across Ranma's body. Vaguely, they noticed Ryoga had returned and was making his way back to them. Then Himamashi read the name of Shampoo's challenger.

"Shampoo will fight Kitty Shikaga!"

Ranma shuddered involuntarily.

"Airen fear for Shampoo?" the girl asked as she handed him the robe.

Ryoga snorted as he heard this. "Fear? For you?" he laughed shortly. "Ranma's just jumpy about 'Kitty' and whether that ramen is going to stay hot enough to keep you human!" Shampoo felt Ranma's jump at Ryoga saying 'Kitty' and understood.

"Is okay," she assured Ranma, patting his arm. "Is good husband confident of wife's skill." She left and Ranma shook his head to Barry's silent laughter.

'_She has a distinct and focused world-view, doesn't she?'_

'Don't they all,' began Ranma, but was interrupted by Akane. She used her rival's absence to take his arm and guide it around her shoulders. She snuggled very firmly. "_Akane_!" he whispered blushing. He didn't take his arm back though, and prepared to watch Shampoo's first match.


	15. Ramen and Akane

**Guest Ki: Chapter 14**

_**Ramen and Akane**_

Shampoo's first battle was over quickly. Her opponent, who had a single lock of green hair in an otherwise typical glossy black style, decided that she had nothing to lose. As soon as their palms touched she grabbed Shampoo's hands in her own and thrust forward, hoping to knock the Amazon over or push her out of the pool. Shampoo was caught off guard. Her instincts were fine however. She took a half step to the side, twisted and threw. Kitty Shikaga went skidding over the lip of the pool to bounce on her bottom in the splash basin around the stage.

The violet-haired girl's eyes went wide and her hands came up to her mouth. She was mortified. She had won almost by accident! "Is Kitty-san okay?" she asked skimming over the edge of the stage to kneel beside the girl. The girl nodded and looked up at Shampoo and laughed. Shampoo stiffened not understanding what she was laughing at.

"You tossed me out of that pool like I was a salmon and you were a hungry bear!" Kitty reached out her hand and Shampoo absently helped her to her feet. "You're good!"

Shampoo suddenly realized she was being complimented and blushed in pleasure. "Next time last longer. You know not rush; set feet for balance. We have good fight then!"

Her opponent laughed and pointed Shampoo back to the stage where she took her bows. She bounced back glowing to where Ranma and Akane stood, stuck her tongue out at Akane and followed Kitty out the door to wash off. She was feeling much more at ease. This just might be fun after all!

"Akane Tendo will fight Mitsuyara Oberu!"

Akane's head came up as she tried to remember which girl was her opponent. A tall, heavy young woman advanced on the stage and Akane grimaced. Her opponent was nearly as tall as Janet Kolberg but heavier. She moved slowly but there was little bounce in that body.

Akane doffed her robe and handed it to Ranma without looking at him. She paced down the aisle to the male cheers of the Furinkan contingent (who had also cheered Shampoo as a local) and took her place across the pool. Akane could have imagined she was stepping into a hot tub if it weren't for the slide of the ramen noodles over her skin. She judged that it would take considerable strength to move quickly unless you were willing to risk lifting your feet well off the floor of the pool.

As she got a closer look at Mitsu, she assessed the girl's probable strength upwards. Akane watched how the girl moved and judged she was a martial artist, though definitely in another discipline, possibly judo. Inside, she groaned at meeting an opponent of this skill level this early, but there was no help for it.

Mitsu Oberu watched the play of muscles underneath Akane's skin, making judgments of her own. She smiled briefly and bowed, keeping her eyes on Akane, before reaching out. Akane met her evenly and the match began.

Mitsu went for a shoulder/opposite arm hold with the intention of twisting Akane off her feet. Akane easily slipped this and broke away. Her opponent was keeping in a low crouch, holding her center low and using her greater bulk and strength in an attempt to corner Akane. She did not see a way of exploiting the height difference the way Akari had. Mitsu closed on her and pushed forward, hoping to grab Akane by the waist or arms and heave her out of the pool.

Akane knew, from the moment she had made the initial contact with Mitsu, that the girl had more than sufficient strength to carry out her plan and there was no way out of this situation except out… or _up_! Akane's hands slapped down on Mitsu's upper arms as she thrust powerfully like Ranma had taught her on all those slippery moss-covered tree limbs on the island. She rose like a missile, flipped and landed — skidding, as Janet had earlier — to catch her balance against the lip of the pool. Looking up, she found that had been the defining move of the match. The sudden downward thrust had overbalanced her opponent, sending her face first into the broth with a huge splash.

The crowd roared in excitement! The match started off slow and ponderous and they had been disappointed, both by what seemed an obvious mismatch and the lack of furious action. Akane's aerial escape and victory had woken them up in a hurry.

After helping Mitsu stand, a little grumpy compared to most of the defeated competitors, she took her applause from the stage, waved to her supporters in the Furinkan crowd and started for the door to rinse off. She really wanted to have some privacy. Noodles had gotten into her suit and felt positively disgusting. She opened the door and walked over to the hose, only to stand amused and disbelieving. Shampoo-cat was sitting in a puddle in the midst of her useless suit.

"You didn't forget about the water being cold, did you?"

Shampoo meowed and looked frustrated. When Akane reached to pick her up, she hissed and struck out. Akane jerked her hand away and stood up, retrieving the hose as she did. Mitsu joined her at this point, looking inquiringly at the cat in the puddle.

Akane cleared the noodles out of her suit, rinsed off shivering and handed the hose to her former opponent. As she turned to Shampoo again, she heard voices from around the side of the building, voices she recognized. "Jani-san! Akari-san! Over here." Two heads poked around the side of the building.

"What do you want, Akane?" Janet asked. "Have you seen this pig? It's _huge_!"

Akane's opponent jerked and turned, apparently misunderstanding for whom the remark was meant.

"Jani-san, Shampoo had a bit of an accident…"

"Are you talking to me?" Mitsuyara interrupted, glaring balefully at Jani-san.

"No, I'm talking to Akane about Akari's prize sumo pig, Katsunishiki." Janet ignored the implied threat and jerked her thumb over her shoulder. "It probably weighs as much as a good-sized car. Go look, if you don't believe me!"

As Akane tried to explain about Shampoo's problem, Mitsuyara clenched her fists uncertainly. Obviously, she had people take issue with her size and proportions in the past. She was finding it far easier to believe these three near-models might be making fun of her than taking her seriously.

A rumbling was felt through the ground. A bass grunt came from behind the corner of the building. The huge shadow moved in the dark. Snuffling, it moved up to a distressed Akari. Mitsuyara decided these girls weren't kidding. It wasn't reassuring, though.

"Katsunishiki, I told you to stay! Oh, you're thirsty?" She was forced to move laterally as the huge animal butted its head against her hip. "Could you excuse me a moment?" She skipped over to the hose, the pig following closely. Shampoo made a quick snatch at her suit with jaws and paws and fled on three legs, leaving the site to beast and owner. Katsunishiki tipped his head a fraction, opened his jaws and Akari turned the hose down his throat. Several deciliters later, she ran the hose over his body to ecstatic grunts of pleasure. The deep sound was similar to a bass voice belly laugh.

Shampoo kept her distance, circling to come up behind Akane and Janet. She knew well from the forests around her home that pigs are omnivorous and quite willing to eat any small animal too slow or stupid to get away. She had seen Akari's monster when it visited Nerima before and always wondered if several missing feral dogs and cats had ended up as light snacks for this creature. She meowed and rubbed against Janet's legs.

Her aunt picked her up and looked her over. "Shampoo, you are disgustingly pretty as a girl or a cat," she commented dryly. She turned to Akane. "All we need is some warm water, right?"

Akane nodded.

Mitsu, who had edged around the enormous pig, glanced over uncertainly. "Hot water?"

"For Shampoo," Janet explained. She held up the damp cat. The other big woman looked around them, around in their vicinity, then at the cat.

"The cat is named Shampoo, as well?"

* * *

Ranma and Ryoga took turns wandering around the floor, moving toward those areas where individuals were getting too noisy or boisterous. Himamashi had given them strict orders: 'Let the customers have their fun, unless they are breaking furniture or each other.'

To Ryoga this was life as usual. Well, aside from the fact that Akari was moving with him latched to his arm. In fact, he had often paid his way by working as a bouncer, since his lack of directional sense was unimportant here. If you stayed close to the noise, you were on the job. Because bouncers always paired up to take on an unruly customer, the other guy usually knew where the exit was. He had been working this way since leaving home to follow Ranma to China. He noticed Hiroshi and Daisuke and other Furinkan attendees watching the show while their dates clustered around a table well away from the action. A vaguely familiar voice was laying down the law. It occurred to him that he had heard something about Nabiki being here.

"Now, look! Akane won, but was considered the underdog against Mitsuyara Oberu, paying three-to-one odds. We lost Akari early and that's too bad. We hoped she'd cut a wider swath through the field before meeting the Kolberg woman, Shampoo or Akane. Kolberg-san is, of course, the favorite; but now that Oberu is out, either Shampoo or Akane has a good chance of winning or placing. Akane is obviously much better than before. We need to sweeten the pot and shift the odds, or our base will be threatened. See if we can make odds that _neither_ Akane nor Shampoo will be eliminated before the semifinals."

Ryoga wandered over and poked his head through the crowd. Yep, it was Nabiki.

"Please remember that our deal is a percentage to the house…"

"What odds on the Tendo-Shampoo fight?"

Nabiki answered automatically. "Seven-to-two for Shampoo, with the odds going five-to-one, if the fight lasts more than one minute… Ryoga?"

"Hello, Nabiki-san." Ryoga started as Akari spoke softly from beside him. "You are looking well."

Nabiki stiffened and gave the faintest hint of a guilty blush. She nodded to Akari in a polite manner. "Akari-san, good to see you again. Is that pig of yours with you?"

"Katsunishiki is guarding the dressing room, Nabiki-san," she said with a smile. "I didn't think the girls would like boys peeping at them while they changed." Ryoga began to feel coming here was a mistake. The conversation was going into areas best left unexplored.

"It doesn't really matter, does it, Akari?" he muttered, trying to see a way out of this. "You weren't upset earlier…"

"Ryoga!" she interrupted primly. "There is a world of difference between seeing someone naked and seeing someone dressing… or undressing!"

Ryoga blushed to his toes. Had anyone not been boggling at Akari, they would have seen Nabiki in a similar condition.

The elimination round came to a close. The last contestants seemed more interested in providing a show than actually wrestling and both girls were stripped to the buff fifteen seconds after the start of the match. From there, the event included holds and clenching of a kind that had more than a few in the audience wondering if they were wrestling or putting on one of '_those_'shows. Finally, both girls went into a vertical clench and fell into the ramen together amidst squeals and laughter.

Himamashi ruled the girl on top to be the winner, despite protests from the men in the audience and from the girls themselves. He stated ponderously it was time to move on and the protests died away under his glare.

After announcing the last winner in the preliminary round, the big man turned and looked for Janet. She had promised to work the bar when she was not wrestling and he hadn't seen her since her bout. He was about to send Ryoga or Ranma to look for her when he saw her come from the back with Shampoo. He sidled over, as Shampoo seemed to have lost her earlier enthusiasm. He didn't want trouble from a grumpy Amazon this early in the evening.

Janet waved the two boys over to join them.

"Want anything, boys? It's on the house."

"A small beer, please," answered Ryoga.

"Just water for me," Ranma replied in turn.

"You sure, Red?"

"I…I'm not a redhead now." Ranma looked disgruntled but nodded.

"His girl-type can't hold her liquor," explained Ryoga, sipping at his beer and smiling mischievously.

"Ryoga!"

"Afraid someone will take advantage of you?" Janet asked without a smile. Ranma froze for long seconds caught between a rash remark and the internal debate that was going on.

"Just… water, please. Not too cold," he said finally. Janet nodded and bopped Ryoga on the head when he snickered. Akari had already punched him in the arm.

"Have you ever considered that if his girl-type got pregnant it might lock him in that form?" growled the Amazon. "How would you like to be locked into pig-form, hmmm?" Akari nodded in agreement. Akane and Shampoo looked daggers at him.

"All right! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" whined the lost-boy from behind his shielding arms. "Sheesh! Nobody can take a joke!"

No one noticed the water glass vanishing from the bar counter and reappearing looking a little more translucent than before.

Himamashi joined them.

"Jani-san, where have you been?"

"Out back, Father-in-law. You should see Akari's sumo pig," she added enthusiastically.

"Sumo pig?"

As they discussed the events of the evening so far, Ranma tossed back his glass of water. He got about three-quarters down before the taste, or rather lack of taste, registered.

"Bleh!" Ranma spat. That's terrible!" They turned to him questioningly. As they did, a loud argument burst out in another part of the room. Ranma jerked around and headed for two men who seemed intent on playing the macho, alpha-male while their dates egged them on. "Be back!"

Ranma bounced over and separated the two; each claiming the other had pinched his date. One even went so far as to show her bruise to Ranma, nearly starting a fight between her outraged boyfriend and the martial artist/bouncer, who certainly hadn't asked to see it. A sudden, slight hold on a nerve cluster had convinced the individual to behave. The pigtailed boy returned, watching out for cold drinks on the way.

"You look thirsty," said Janet, "here's another; after all, water's really cheap."

"Thanks, but no thanks, Jani-san," he said with a shake of his head. "The water tasted funny to me." He turned and indicated to Akane and Shampoo that they'd be better off away from the crush around the bar. As they left, Janet sipped gingerly at the water in the glass.

* * *

The next elimination round started off with two girls having more energy than common sense dumping one another into the ramen by the simple expedient of totally missing their grips and falling flat on their faces. They came up spitting and blowing like whales, liberally coated with broth and wriggling noodles from every spot that could catch them. After a few moments to rinse the salty stuff from their eyes, they resumed the match, a little more cautiously. Now however, the slippery broth prevented holds from being maintained at all, making hair and the opponent's suit the only thing anyone could reasonably expect to get a grip on.

Hiroshi attempted to get Daisuke's attention. "Did you see that?" he yelled, cheering the skin show and deciding the evening's entertainment was worth his mother's future recriminations. There was no response. He grabbed his friend by the shoulder and shook him, repeating his question, adding a cheer for the winning move — a throw requiring a firm grip on bikini briefs that left the vanquished with her top, but definitely bottomless. The quickly recovered clothing was, of course, drawn on in the relative privacy of the pool, but the squeals and complaints of the girl as she tried to rid herself of the intrusive noodles were entertaining to the hormone driven young men.

"Daisuke?" Hiroshi finally looked down. His friend was in a state of hormone overload, blood dripping on his shirt from one nostril and a glazed expression on his face. "Daisuke?" He had an inspiration. "Here come Shampoo and Akane!"

"_Where_?" Daisuke's glaze broke and he looked desperately around.

"Not yet, twit!" Hiroshi laughed. "Pervert. You had a string of drool hanging to the floor, Daisuke."

"Did not," Dai protested. He reached out and snagged Ranma on his way back from another bouncer detail.

"Ranma! When are Shampoo and Akane fighting?"

"How should I know?" Ranma paused then glanced uncertainly around the room. "If they don't meet in the semi-finals, it'll depend on whether they're still in the runnin' for the final match." He turned suddenly and yelled at someone the next table over. "_Don't_ make me come over there!" Turning back to Dai, he accidentally smacked the young man in the face as he was resuming his seat. "Crap! Sorry, Dai! This bouncer duty must be gettin' on my nerves." He considered a moment. "Anyway, if one or the other's eliminated before the finals, the fight will come after the official matches are over. Sort of a dessert course, I guess."

"Yeah," sighed Daisuke, longingly.

"Dai, don't make me hurt you." Ranma laughed to show he was kidding. As he turned to leave, Hiroshi suddenly caught him by the arm.

"You aren't drinking, are you?"

"_Me_? Ya gotta be kiddin'! I won't touch the stuff in a place like this. See ya." He left on the bounce, leaving a drooling Daisuke and a worried looking Hiroshi behind him.

As he passed the bar, Janet pulled him in and gave him another glass of water, assuring him it would taste all right. It did. She tried to ask him what his previous glass had tasted like, but he moved away from the crowd — neither Barry nor Ranma cared for crowds — to resume station near Ryoga and the girls.

He set the glass down and put his arms around both Shampoo and Akane and gave them each a reassuring hug. He felt they were both looking raw from being in each other's undiluted company.

"Ranma, are you all right?"

"Airen okay? Ranma act… funny."

He looked from one to the other. What the hell was the matter now? He frowned and withdrew his arms, taking a quick gulp from his glass as he did so. 'Bleh!' There was that taste again.

Suddenly, it became clear. He looked within.

Barry, startled, glanced with him. Ranma's ki was blurred, out of focus, definitely abnormal. Surprisingly, Barry's was fine. Not as structured and ordered as Ranma's usually was, but that was normal and certainly greatly improved over when he had started 'renting space' there.

'_What the hell is going on, Ranma?'_ Barry asked, dismayed at the change. _'How did… Damn! I can't believe I missed that.' _

'Yeah, someone switched drinks on us.'

'_They not only switched drinks; they did it right under our noses. Twice! Happosai?'_

'That's what I figure. I'm the only one who can control him. But now I've got… what — a liter? …of something pretty potent in my blood and you know he's just waitin' for just the right moment to splash me.' The last was said grimly.

'_Akane will surprise him!'_

'If she's not in the pool with Shampoo.' He tried to sense his surroundings, but it was too difficult. 'Barry, can you do this? Try ta find the freak by his ki signature. He should be hangin' close.'

Shampoo was called then. She found herself opposite the winning half of the 'Bunny and Buffy Do Japan' show. That girl looked Shampoo over as if she were a hunk of prime meat. Shampoo made quick work of her, interrupting her lunge to close quarters and dumping her over a hip. Shampoo fastidiously helped her up at arm's length and backed away further when it was revealed the girl had chosen the moment of her immersion to remove her top to put on a another show which Shampoo wanted no part of.

Akane was the last called in this round, to fight against a girl who had more luck than skill in the preliminaries. The latter knew she didn't have a chance against Akane's skill or superior strength, but had the pluck to try to make it last. Akane finally swept her feet out from under her but held on to the girl so she wouldn't get dunked.

As they left to rinse off, Barry finally located their problem.

'_Got him!' _

'Where?'

_'Look in the alcove. See the tanooki?'_ Ranma glanced at his glass as if he were thinking of taking another drink. Very suspiciously, it was nearly full. He placed it back on the table. In the alcove, a pottery tanooki, a sort of Japanese leprechaun in the shape of a badger, sat in seeming innocence.

'That thing? Ya gotta be kiddin'?'

'_It does seem more Tsubasa's routine than Happosai's until you consider he's doing it without props or makeup, just a little misdirection in case he can't avoid bumping into someone.'_ It was sort of funny in a stupid, scary way. If the freak got going, he could wreak this entire place_. 'Any ideas?'_

'Only one I can think of at the moment.' "Yo, Ryoga! Come here, will ya? 'Scuse me, Shampoo." He met Ryoga halfway. 'Has the freak moved?' he asked Barry silently.

'_I think he's moving in to try to pinch or feel up Shampoo, if I'm reading him right.' _

Ryoga arrived.

"Just nod if ya understand, Ryoga," Ranma whispered urgently. "We got freak problems. Big ones!" Ryoga's eyes widened, but he kept his mouth shut. He nodded.

"D'ya see the tanooki behind Shampoo?" Ranma whispered.

"What about it?" He glanced back at Ranma then back at the pot and swore softly. There was a potted rubber plant where the tanooki had been. Looking away then back again, Ryoga got the creepy feeling it was moving closer to the unsuspecting Amazon. "You mean…"

"Yeah! I think, maybe ya oughta go over and settle a little score with the Amazon about P-chan's fate, if ya know what I mean. Get close and knock 'im out."

"Why don't you do it?" It was a reasonable thing to ask, but Ranma struggled a bit, not wanting to admit the truth.

"He switched drinks on us, Ryoga," Barry injected. "Ranma's higher than a kite, though you wouldn't know it to look at him. We need back-up. If you can keep him distracted by arguing with Shampoo…"

Ryoga nodded, then schooled his expressionand pushed past on his way to confront Shampoo. "You traitor!" he hissed angrily. Shampoo, who had been shifting uncomfortably for minutes now, for reasons known only to her hindbrain, started. Ranma waited a few breaths, then moved in as if to referee.

"Wha-what," she stuttered. What had set pig-boy off? "What wrong, Ryoga?" At one hundred sixty centimeters, and less than fifty-five kilos, she was dwarfed by Ryoga's height and mass. 'Pig-boy' had done some growing in the last year and topped one hundred eighty-five centimeters now. While Shampoo did not doubt her ability to beat Ryoga in a fight, it was not something she would seek out. She placed the 'potted palm' between them.

"Do you know what nearly happened to me at the Tendo's because of you?" was delivered in an angry snarl. She nodded nervously. "Sometimes, Shampoo," he said, moving closer seeing an opening, "sometimes life can be such a bitch!" As Shampoo paled, thinking he meant her, he punched down. (BAM!) The potted plant seemed to implode, leaving a battered-looking old midget lying on the floor.

"Ryoga think Shampoo bi..." she started, enraged. Then it dawned on her what was at her feet. "Pervert-master? Here?" She backed away with loathing. "Eeuw!"

Ryoga turned as Ranma smacked him in a friendly fashion on the shoulder. Surprisingly, no one seemed to have noticed the little fracas.

"Man! That's a relief. Nice shot!"

"I thought I saw an opening,"Ryoga smirked as Akane walked up. "Whatshould we do with him?"

"Oh, kami! Happosai's here?" She glared at Ryoga. "I told you not to say…"

"Ryoga nailed him, Akane, so it's even at least!" He reached down to snag the little pervert and nearly fell on his nose. Waving off the girls who leaped to steady him, he added,"The freak slipped me a couple. I don't know what he was plannin', but I think I know what we need to do with him."

"What?"

"Give him to Cologne."

* * *

"And what, pray tell, am I supposed to do with him?" The gnomish little Matriarch stared at Happosai, who was barely recognizable through the loops of chain and heavy cable that cocooned him.

"Let me out of here, Ranma. You can't do this to me. All those pretty girls. All that uncovered skin. It's cruel!" Happosai wailed from somewhere in the depths of the ball. "I didn't even get to play with the silky darlings!"

"Oh, shut up, you old fool!" Cologne whacked the ball with her staff, eliciting a yelp from the ancient pervert. "Well, if I have to, roll him into the back yard and chain him to that big tree there." She sighed dramatically. "Leave the chain about ten meters long. Maybe we can convince Akari's pig that he's some kind of toy. Get some good out of him, that way." She opened the door and pointed to a century old oak that stood behind the bar.

The gang laughed and, wrapping the chain in some in some old dishtowels, hung a loop over a sturdy branch. Suspended in mid-air, Happosai was going nowhere for a while. Akari came around the corner with Katsunishiki and Ranma personally demonstrated the swinging ball to the enormous pig.

"Oh, no! (Nudge) Ranma, you can't! You _mustn't_! (BAM!)"

The enormous pig gave the ball a tentative nudge with its snout and then charged almost gleefully. Happosai described a long arc into the air before descending and bouncing off a carefully placed shoulder block. For several minutes, Cologne, Ranma, Akane, Shampoo, Akari and Ryoga watched the sumo pig crash against the swinging ball to the accompaniment of Happosai's curses, threats and pleas.

Then they all went back inside to finish their respective business. Ranma, after consulting with Cologne, sat near the bar with a pot of coffee. The Amazon elder was unwilling or unable to work any magical cures for alcohol poisoning.

* * *

There were six girls left fighting in the third round. All had some kind of martial arts training. Akane was the first to fight against a practitioner of karate named Asani Kiritomo. The girl was smaller than Akane and very quick, but nothing could beat the speed Akane had acquired under Ranma's tutelage. Asani was quickly down and out and the pool was cleared for the next contestants.

"Janet Kolberg fights… Shampoo!"

The two Amazons glanced across the room at each other while the remaining two girls let loose a sigh of relief. One of them would make it to the finals and recoup some of their losses with free drinks, if nothing else. They sat down as Shampoo and Janet moved to the stage and slid into the pool at opposite sides.

Eyeing one another, they approached and patted hands together as if playing patticake. Then, just as slowly, it began.

At first, there was no contact as body feints and offered holds or occasional thrusts with the open palm were ignored, which developed into other feints. Shampoo could not afford to go to full contact, due to her aunt's superior size and strength. Finally, Jani-san closed with her and caught Shampoo by the end of one of her ponytails. Still damp from the last rinsing, it made a solid rope with which she hoped to swing the smaller girl off her feet. Shampoo moved in, slapped her aunt's other hand aside and erupted from the pool.

She flipped over the gripping arm, ending up facing the opposite direction and with her long hair now crossing over her opponent's wrist. Janet was forced to turn toward her or break away. Realizing Shampoo could now duplicate Akari's throw from a much better angle and with much greater skill, she chose to break off and attempt to get some distance between them.

But the hair caught at her wrist like a noose. She chose to grip the hair, rather than spend dangerous seconds trying to untangle from it, but this, too, was a trap. Shampoo reached out to her aunt's extended hand and took a submission hold, twisting the taller woman about that arm. As Janet spun, trying to beat the twist and remain on her feet, Shampoo slid one small foot across the floor of the pool to shove against Janet's weight-bearing leg.

With a cry of "_You devil's child_!", Janet measured her length in the pool, her gripping hand dragging Shampoo headfirst into the broth, as well. It was clear, however, who had won; and after she untangled her hand, Janet lifted her startled niece to shoulder-height in congratulation.

After the break, most of the spectators went out back to watch the enormous pig play tetherball with Happosai. The three remaining girls prepared to draw straws to see who would fight next. Akane and Shampoo allowed the third, Kimi Morisayama, first pick and she dithered a moment before picking a long straw. She would be fighting. At Shampoo's insistence, Akane drew next.

It was the short straw. Shampoo would fight the Morisayama girl. The winner of that bout would fight Akane for the prize.

Akane didn't have long to wait.

As she slid into the ramen, Akane watched the sleek, self-satisfied look on Shampoo's face and found herself boiling with anger. She dropped into her role and recited her chosen mantra to calm herself. Shampoo obviously thought she could do whatever she wanted to with her opponent. Akane was not yet ready to disabuse her of that idea. To tell the truth, Akane felt Shampoo was improved over her skill-level at Mt. Phoenix and she could use all the surprise she could get.

Her eyes narrowed as Shampoo held up a hand, indicating she was not ready yet. Then, disconcertingly, the Amazon reached up, un-tied her top and threw it aside.

As the crowd roared,Shampoo did the same with the bottom of her suit, then bound her hair back into a single heavy twist and immersed herself to the neck in the ramen. She rose again slowly, skin slicked by the broth, and tried to taunt Akane over the crowd's noise.

Finally, the people quieted enough to hear what Shampoo was saying.

"Akane ready to fight? Shampoo born ready. Is Amazon! Fight for honor; fight for Ranma." She sneared. "Is Akane ready to lose?" The crowd roared again.

Akane buffered by her role, took her time. Standing hip-deep in ramen was not exactly a role inducingposition, but she managed it with poise and quiet dignity. With her arms crossed below her breasts, she waited patiently for the noise level to drop. She waited longer, as it got more and more quiet and Shampoo began to huff. When it got quiet enough that she could speak clearly without more than normal projection, she spoke her piece.

"Shampoo, we've all been fighting each other for almost two years now and none of us seems any closer to winning Ranma. No matter who wins today, that's not going to change. You want Ranma? Well, so do I!"

Beside the bar, Ranma slid off his stool. Akane had never publicly said she wanted him before. Usually the reverse held true. Janet leaned over to him and asked quietly, "How many girls you got chasing you?" which he ignored for the moment. Instead, he glanced back as the crowd drowned out the two girls again, to see Cologne watching him and, past him, Akane, in a calculating way. This was not necessarily encouraging.

"You watch out, Akane," Shampoo screeched furiously. "Obstacles are…"

"…for killing! I know it by heart now, Shampoo," Akane broke in. "Remember your promise to your aunt, and remember the laws of the country you're in." Suddenly, Akane took a single step forward and pointed at Shampoo as if she were leveling a gun. "You kill me and neither of us get Ranma! And you get to spend a long, _long_ time in jail. Where will the hopes of the Matriarchy be then?" The dark-haired girl returned to her former pose and contemplated the surface of the broth. "In the end, bimbo, it'll be Ranma who decides. We've both met him more than halfway. He'll have to take it from there. I think I've always known that."

If the crowd hoped Akane would doff her minuscule covering, they were doomed to disappointment. She moved into position and waited for Shampoo. The Amazon dipped low into the broth again and advanced. They slapped palms.

Shampoo moved in aggressively, striking with the palm of her hand in short, powerful stokes that were technically legal but bruised like punches. Akane fended them off easily; Ranma's attacks against her in training had been faster and harder. She went for a grip and found none. Shampoo's striptease had a purpose in addition to an attempt to embarrass her, leaving nothing solid to grip except Shampoo's hair. Shampoo laughed as she swung her head aside, foiling Akane's swipe at that possible grip. Akane barely kept her balance as a foot struck the side of her leg below the broth.

Akane felt Shampoo's foot slide against her own. She hooked with a heel and thrust her opponent away. Shampoo twisted, slipping the shove and thrusting with her back leg, driving her shoulder into Akane's chin, staggering her. Shampoo's hands were busy as she did exactly what Ranma and Barry suspected she'd try. As they broke apart, Akane was missing her tiny suit.

Shampoo straightened up, taunting her foe with the bits of cloth. "Noweveryone see who better woman," she taunted. She grinned like a tiger when Akane snatched at the bits of cloth.

They had strategized over various hold and throws that Akane might use in the moment Shampoo would begloating,anticipatingAkane'spanic and exposure. Here and now, Akane realized all their suggestions depended on a solid grip on skin or fabric. But Shampoo was too slippery and too good at keeping her hair out of Akane's grasp andthere wasas yet too large agap in skill between them. Her hands came up as if to cover her front…

Then snapped out to lock the tough strands of her suit around Shampoo's wrists.

Shampoo was expecting an outraged scream, flinching, heck - even an all out anger-blown attack! Anything except what happened. Akanewith the Amiguriken speed, brought the strands ofthe suit around tohandcuff Shampoo much in the way Shampoo had bound her aunt's hands in her hair. Then, with a savage twist and jerk, Shampoo went entirely airborne, before splashing down with a screamthat sent ramen fountaining high enough to splash the ceiling!

Shampoo surged to the surface coughing and turned to look in astonishment at the girl who had defeated her. Akane stood there amid the uproar, regarding Shampoo with a surface impassivity that bordered on shock. She watched Akane start and then slowly extend a hand, offering to help her rival to her feet. The crowd quieted once more as they waited, with only an occasional compliment or crudity breaking the silence, to see what she would do. Shampoo's face went red, then white. Her lips firmed. Then, as if it nearly killed her to do it, she took Akane's hand and came to her feet. Akane began to bow respectfully, but Shampoo hissed for Akane's ears only, "No! Not bow! Amazon never bow! Meet eye to eye."

Curious, Akane did so and Shampoo nodded. They released their grips and turned to don their suits once more. Separately they exited the pool. Ranma looked into Shampoo's eyes and shuddered in sympathy. The Amazon knew full well that her own arrogance had cost her the match. Cologne would not be pleased.

The huge Himamashi moved over to Akane dwarfing her with his bulk as heliftedher hand high in the manner of western fighting rings. "We have a WINNER!" The crowd cheered long and loud and Akane suddenly found herself blushing furiously, her role forgotten. Her eyes sought the only one whose opinion was important to her.

A smile twitched the corners of Ranma's mouth as hemet Akane's eyes. He lifted a thumb in approval. Barry laughed at the unvoiced comment. 'Winner? Damn straight!'


	16. Akane and

**Guest Ki: Chapter 15**

_**Akane and…?**_

Shampoo and Mousse were detailed to drain the pool of ramen after the fights were over. Mousse because he was Mousse and Shampoo because Cologne was giving her servant's work while inventing a really humiliating punishment to remind Shampoo that the first business of a warrior in a fight is to win. They each would fill four ten-liter buckets and gripping them two in each hand, made their way through the kitchen to dump the contents back near the tree where Happosai was tied up. There a very content Katsunishiki gobbled up the broth and noodles and affectionately rubbed against his 'tether ball', which had taken a licking from the huge animal and kept right on bitching.

Ranma watched silently from his seat by the bar. He was happy for Akane and he was also concerned for Shampoo. He had never wanted her chasing him, but he admired her skill and persistence. That he had many nervous associations concerning her grandmother didn't help either. Cologne was a premier trainer, a source of ancient arcane data, and actually pretty fun to be around if you weren't a personal project of hers. It was often hard to reconcile the Matriarch with 'Granny'. He suspected Cologne hated punishing her descendant almost as much as he did.

'_Actually, probably more.'_

'What?'

'_She probably hates it more, Ranma. But you know she has a responsibility to her people and to their traditions that act as the basis of their laws and society.' _

Barry should have been feeling the effects of the alcohol by now.Alcohol made Ranma sleepy and more than a bit affectionate. He compensated by growling at anyone who got too close, an affect spoiled by the snicker that sometimes percolated through. Alcohol usually made Barry talkative and introspective. Instead he felt rather detached.

'Maybe I should offer ta help…'

'_Cologne already said 'No' twice, Ranma,' _Barry pointed out, wearily. _'If she knows you as well as she seems to, Cologne may be counting on your sympathy for an 'abused' Shampoo to get you closer to her. If you're trying to let Mousse and Shampoo know you sympathize with them, they know it already.'_

'Nuts!' Ranma said with disgust.

'_They're not hurting much. I used to carry four five-gallon buckets a mile uphill, four times a day in the winter for the horses in pasture. That's about twice as heavy as they're doing right now.'_

'Yeah, yeah; I know they're not hurtin',' he grumbled. 'It just all feels somehow…'

'_Incomplete?'_

'Yeah.'

'_You've gone through an event like this without being turned into a girl or fighting a desperate fight. Is that what's wrong?'_

Suddenly Ranma laughed. That was _exactly_ what was wrong. It was almost unnatural.

He stood and wandered over to Nabiki leafing through the wad of bills in her hands after counting out the house's take. Himamashi had been pleasantly surprised at the amount of extra income. Nabiki then paid off her helpers, including Hikaru Gosunkugi who had been taking photos. The latter sighed as he handed over ten rolls of film.

Gos was a weird little worm of a guy, as if all the wannabes in the world got together and invented someone they could feel superior to. Like the rest of the male portion of the school, he lusted after Akane. He just never had the guts to try anything.

"You look happy," Ranma commented dryly. For that matter, so did the dozen guys — three guesses why — who clustered just out of arm's reach of Akane, far better covered now in slacks and blouse than she had been earlier.

"My life is complete," said the skinny young man. He fiddled with his expensive camera, constantly checking light readings and resetting the auto-focus for quick action.

"Is that everything?" asked Nabiki suspiciously. "The agreement was that all pictures would go through me for editorial discretion."

"That's all," he said glancing at Akane dreamily. Ranma noticed a rectangular bulge in a back pocket. With skills learned from his reprobate father, he slipped the item out before Gosunkugi realized he was there.

"Cool," Ranma commented. It was a small instamatic camera. "Hey, Nabs! Didja pay him for _all_ pictures or only the thirty-five millimeter pictures?"

"Hey," protested Gosunkugi, "That's mine! I mean my private…"

"Gos!" Nabiki warned. "The agreement was ALL."

"Oh… All right." He took the camera from Ranma, unloaded it and handed the film to Nabiki.

"All of it, Gosunkugi," Ranma said. "Ya got two rolls in yer coat and one in the top of yer sock." Barry was helping him scan. Once you knew what to look for, it was easy.

"Saotome!" He whined and produced the film. Ranma looked him over once more then turned to Nabiki.

"Ya know, Nabiki, when we was out there in the woods yer name came up." Nabiki looked at Ranma blandly. Akane came over and focused on her sister. Ranma glanced at his fiancée, then looked around for Ryoga and waved him over. "In fact, we had some real interestin' conversations about what went on after I left." Nabiki stiffened but managed to maintain her veneer of calm. "Ryoga, in particular, wanted to express his admiration for yer methods of containment and distraction." Ranma grinned. It was wordier than he usually was, but Barry claimed the results would be worth it.

They were. Nabiki looked the lost-boy in the eyes and blushed deeply. She bit her lip, trying to keep from saying anything before she knew exactly what she wanted to say. "Ha! Ha… What do you want, Ranma?" Her voice when she finally spoke was steady and dry and her eyes were hooded.

"No pictures of Akane in the buff, ta start," demanded Ranma conversationally. "Wish we could do somethin' about the other people with cameras…"

"Well, actually…" Nabiki started to speak, then bit her lip.

Ranma frowned, trying to imagine what she had been about to say, then brightened. "Ya got exclusive photo rights, too?" Reluctantly, she nodded. "That makes it easy, then."

"Ranma, do you realize how much those photos are worth?" She sighed and waved her hand. "Oh, all right. She is my sister, after all." Gosunkugi whined in anguish, distracting them momentarily. Apparently, since his private stash had been confiscated, he had been in the market for a photo or two. Eyes rolled heavenward, then the discussion resumed. "I hope you don't want me to trash all the pictures of Akane."

"Of course not, Nabiki." Her sister relaxed at Akane's words. "After all, it's not much worse than what you wear to the beach." She let her head fall to one side and cast a warm look at Ranma. "That suit is pretty much destroyed, but I may get a few more just like it."

"You wouldn't!" Ranma, Nabiki and Ryoga chorused, drawing stares from everyone in the room, sending Akari into whoops of delight at their scandalized looks. Akane managed to look innocent, while the others froze in major face-faults until the uninformed lost interest and went on their way.

Nabiki coughed, then glanced in Ryoga's direction. "Um… Just to let you know. You'll find P-chan has a few personality changes. I guess it's due to you being gone so long, Akane." Ryoga frowned, trying to understand. "He's been a real help keeping Happi out of reach and has become quite attached to me."

Ryoga still wasn't getting it. What was Nabiki trying to say? He certainly wasn't about to start dating her. He knew what happened to her dates' checking accounts. He carried most of his net worth in a few debit cards, not having a fixed address; but he wouldn't put it past her to have uncovered those with her resources. Nervous now, he moved closer to Akari who at least didn't view him as 'lunch money'.

Akari looked up at him with quiet, enthusiastic delight. She had no idea Ryoga spent most of his time at the Tendo's as P-chan. She had suspected that Ryoga had a huge crush on Akane, but one look at Akane and her fiancé would tell anyone you weren't going to break _them_ up. She felt confident of winning against unrequited infatuation.

"You know. P-chan? The pig you gave Akane?" At Ryoga's continued denseness, Nabiki wanted to scream. She almost reached for a mallet, something she'd never done before. "Ry-O-ga! I'm talking about the pig you gave Akane as a present just after you met her?" There! She'd done it without admitting she knew about his curse in front of Akane or Akari, who were starting to look puzzled at the special emphasis Nabiki had been using.

Ryoga opened his mouth. Ranma had this horrible premonition he was about to say 'What pig?' Suddenly Barry started feeding him some lines. "Ya been breakin' too many rocks with yer head, porky," Ranma injected quickly, punching Ryoga in the shoulder to shut him up. He turned his attention to Akari. "Ryoga and me weren't on the best o' terms when he found me at the Tendo's, Akari," he said carefully, cautioned by Barry not to get inventive here. "Ryoga was doin' everythin' possible to make my life hell since, in his opinion, I messed up his life."

She nodded but looked at Ryoga reproachfully.

"Anyway, he got this little black pig and tied a bandanna around its neck to give to Akane. Somewhere along the way, we got in a fight, he lost the pig and Akane found it." Ranma sighed, remembering what really happened. "I only just found out about Ryoga, here, havin' a curse, so I thought he was sneakin' in as a pig to peep at Akane. Raised some real bad blood between us before I figured out what was goin' on."

Ryoga desperately wanted to shut Ranma up, but couldn't think of any way to do so without making it worse. It had taken him a minute, but he now understood what Nabiki was getting at. Apparently, the Tendo's determined they needed insurance against possible blackmail and had bought a pig that looked like his cursed form.

"Trouble was, I promised Ryoga, since I caused his curse, I wouldn't tell anyone about it." Ryoga swallowed convulsively. This was not good; Akari had pulled away from him and was looking disappointed.

"So Ryoga could have…" Akari began.

Ranma laughed before Ryoga could explode and kill him. "C'mon, Akari! Ryoga peep? He doesn't even peep at me when I go 'girl', an' I got a better figure! One thing I gotta admit 'bout Ryoga; he's more a gentleman than I'll ever be."

Akari and Ryoga both looked startled at this backhanded compliment, but Akari relaxed and moved back toward the lost-boy. The mood in the room began to relax.

"Hey!" said Akane suddenly. "What do you mean, 'a better figure'? Better than whose?" Ranma suddenly found himself backing away from Akane who was stalking toward him. He looked around wildly for the door.

'I told you that you shouldn't have said that,' Barry whispered dryly. 'Oh well, this should distract them from thinking about our story. _Whoops_!' Akane swung, barely missing. They decided discretion was definitely the better part of valor and retreated. Wildly. With much screaming and complaining.

Nabiki groaned and shook her head. "I can see it now; two septuagenarians pursuing one another down the street at a pace barely faster than a snail, arguing about who has the better figure as a girl." She shuddered.

* * *

Outside, Ranma continued down the street with Akane in hot pursuit. Mischievously, he decided to check her training by taking to the rooftops and creating an impromptu obstacle course. He further encouraged her with the occasional minor insult about how slow she was and how Ranma's girl-form was better looking.

"You shouldn't be mad 'bout that, Akane! I'm better lookin' than any girl I ever met!"

"You conceited _jerk_!"

Barry was not happy about the circumstances. Akane was faster and stronger than before, and mallet wielding as well, this time. Ranma was such a boil of emotions that it was impossible to decipher any at the moment. He was also still drunk, though some of it had passed through his system.

The coffee really didn't do much more than keep his body hydrated. It had been a strange evening and for all he knew Ranma needed to get himself beaten to a pulp just to feel that things were returning to normal. He just hoped neither of the pair got arrested for property damage so far from home. Ranma had doubled back on his trail twice now. Some inner sense of determination was building. It felt familiar, somehow...

* * *

Back at the bar, Katsunishiki slobbered and drooled as pigs do. They are not neat eaters, though they do manage to eat everything they want to eventually. Periodically he would give the ball of chains, cable and freak an affectionate shove, sometimes bouncing it off the tree trunk. When he did, some of the slobbered ramen broth would splash over the imprisoned martial artist.

Happosai grunted. It was surprising how good he felt despite being wrapped in chains and beaten on by a pig. He felt the warm damp spread through his clothing as the huge pig slobbered on him again. Outside he heard Shampoo and Mousse. He couldn't see them of course, but no other young folk would be talking in the Joketsu dialect around here.

""How could I be so stupid, Mousse, "" the Amazon girl was saying. There was a splashing sound as whatever they were feeding the pig hit the ground. ""How could I lose sight of winning? ""

""What can I say, Shampoo? "" returned the half-blind young man. ""Perhaps you've grown so accustomed to being better than Akane that you simply underestimated her. ""

More splashing followed. The pig burped and passed wind explosively, then warm second-hand chicken broth dribbled through the chains as the pig nudged the ball again.

Oh-ho! Akane won against Shampoo? That was news. Apparently Ranma had been doing more with his private time than make moves on the girl. He ground his teeth. Just another thing to hold against Ranma!

Ryoga had struck the blow, but that clod didn't have the sensitivity to detect his disguise. It was Ranma who set him up! Even doused with enough alcohol to drop a man his size, that infuriating, titillating boy/girl had managed to foil him. He would get revenge! All the silky darlings! All the pretty girls in bikinis, and less, in the pool of ramen! He'd missed it all! It was too much for an old man to bear!

""At this rate, we'll be here till morning draining that pool! "" grumbled Mousse. ""Why can't we bring the pig inside and let him eat out of it? ""

""We're being punished, Mousse! Quit complaining! You took secret lessons from panda-man in Anything-Goes style, and I lost to Akane! Grandmother's almost finished with you, but I'm only beginning. I may not even be Amazon much longer…""

""Ridiculous, Shampoo! "" Mousse exclaimed, astonished. The contents of his thrown bucket went high and doused the 'tether-ball' directly. Ramen noodles hung like bearded moss from the chains. ""You are better than any Amazon warrior has ever been! How can you be punished for succeeding? ""

""Amazons measure success by victory, Mousse. No matter how good I am, I lost. Bad judgment is as unacceptable as bad training. ""

Inside the ball, Happosai felt a charge roll through him. Their words filled him with glee. They were draining the wrestling pond, eh? All that ramen was loaded with the residual ki of two-dozen girls fighting at their peak! At least two of them excellent martial artists!

'Come on, piggy, piggy, just a bit more of a charge…'

* * *

In a park, Ranma suddenly stopped dead, turned and caught Akane in his arms. Startled, she struggled for a moment, then looked up at Ranma with wide eyes and flushed features. Lightning would not have adequately described the emotions that passed between them as their eyes met. Barry looked desperately for cover; he knew now where this was leading. For some things, you don't need an audience.

They drew closer, her body and his molding to one another, aching for each other. They wanted, in fact _burned_, for this. Why the trials of this evening had broken down barriers that had survived Phoenix Mountain, a ruined wedding, discovery of Ryoga's curse and a brutal training regimen was beyond Barry. But they were so close now that he could easily sense in Akane the fact that she wanted Ranma, _needed_ him.

As for Ranma, every day was another chance that Akane might somehow be taken from him forever. It seemed Ranma was remaking his decisions regarding what risks he was willing to take. He felt Akane, _his_ Akane, pressed against him, warm and responsive in his arms. The thunder that rolled across the town seemed only the echo of their hearts…

Suddenly, they stiffened. Thunder? It was a clear night. Ranma's eyes blazed.

"Happosai!" he hissed.

* * *

They came in through the back yard. First they passed a bruised and unconscious Katsunishiki, then the oak that Happosai had been bound to, several links of chain standing out from its surface. Mousse was unconscious just inside the back door. Sounds of combat echoed from the bar beyond.

The Furinkan contingent was cowering behind whatever cover was available. Himamashi was down behind the bar and unmoving. Ryoga, bruised and battered, was attempting to stand between Happosai and Akari, while Shampoo and Janet were back to back. Cologne was chained to a heavy beam, apparently the first of the serious opponents to catch Happosai's attention. The freak was…

(SPLASH!)

Ranma snarled and staggered. Alcohol, barely held in check by the male body's greater mass and resistance, surged through Ranma's girl-type like a storm. She barely felt the rip of her silk shirt as Happosai prepared to get down to business.

"_No_!" There was a slam of air that staggered Ranma sideways. Akane had struck using her improved speed to slap Happosai away. "Leave him alone!"

"Swee-to!" Happosai rebounded and hurtled straight at Akane like a huge superball. Ranma staggered between them and barely deflected his rush. "Okay by me, Ranma!" the old devil cackled. "Payback time!" He glomped.

Ranma glowed blue and a shockwave of force slapped the pervert away.

'Thanks, Barry! How are you holding up?' Ranma's head pounded from a headache and her vision was blurred. Lethargy pulled at her arms. It was just one more reminder why Ranma didn't drink if there was a choice.

'Still living! If I don't link up with you physically, I don't feel the effects of the alcohol. I can't use your senses, but I can see things by their ki-signatures.' Barry felt as if he were a ball of light in a huge space. The void was filled with lights however and everything glowed. Living things glowed the most and martial artists seemed to glow more than most living things.

Against her post, Cologne was using ki to crystallize the chains that bound her. It would be a while, however, before they would be weak enough to break through. Akane, standing behind Ranma, glowed like a hot, blue star, as did a violet Shampoo and greenish Ryoga. Jani-san also glowed, though not as bright. Barry noted a strange, muted glow as if someone were trying to conceal himself, but not doing it well. As he tried to focus on it, they were blind-sided.

'Barry, watcha doin'?' Briefly, Barry felt the ache of Ranma's bruised bosom where Happosai had latched on and heard the cackle of his laughter. The old goat was really roaring around! They focused on the dual screams of Shampoo and the Kolberg woman as Happosai paid them a brief visit. 'That's Gosunkugi over there.'

'I can't see Happi's ki, Ranma.'

"He's using a secret technique to mask himself. It's not invisibility; you just don't notice him. Try ta focus on places ya don't wanna look!" Akane shrieked behind them and Ranma spun, slapping Happosai away from her fiancée. The close pass gave Barry a chance. He knew where Happosai had to be in that instant. He focused, tracked and suddenly could see the old freak. It was like watching a clear glass object spin through a smoky room. You could see the reflected and refracted light and the swirl of displaced smoke, but not actually the thing itself. In many ways, Happosai was masked by what surrounded him and his technique was nearly flawless.

'_Gotcha!'_ Barry growled in unconscious imitation of Ranma's speech patterns. Ki convulsed. Ribbons of light whipped out. Bands of energy tracked the perverted master like the guided missiles they were; for in the instant of their formation, they had been coded and matched to Happosai's ki and, like lightning traveling from positive to negative poles, had no choice but to seek their opposite. They carried programming with them and drew to themselves a reality that became substantial as their proximity produced a response at the target. Effectively, at contact, Happosai's own ki generated the bands that bound him.

"_What_?" Happosai was now secured far more firmly than he had been earlier with chains. His hidden technique dropped, canceled by the interference and he bounced on the edge of the stage. "What… what have you done?" he glared, an evil old gnome as Ranma stumbled toward him. "Ranma! Release me immediately or face my wrath!"

"Old goat!" Ranma higher feminine voice was slurred but still effectively carried her contempt. Her breasts tightened under the pervert's lustful gaze. "You think we have nothing better ta do than hang around for ya ta pinch our tits? I think someone's gonna feel wrath, all right; but it ain't gonna be me!"

"Really?" Happosai voice was thick with emotion. "Just watch me!" He contorted, twisted in his bonds and rolled into the remainder of the pool of ramen.

"Idiot," Ranma said, trying to catch him, "you'll drown yerself!"

'_Ranma! The pool! It's thick with ki!'_

"What?"

(BOOM!)

'_Shit_!'

The ramen boiled away as it met the heat radiating from Happosai's aura. Mad laughter poured out of the miniature figure at its center. Male-Ranma shook his head from across the room, his transformation an unintentional gift of the hot ramen flying everywhere.

"Akane?" He looked around. Akane was down and out. Something had hit her. Jani-san was down as well. Shampoo snatched her aunt and leaped toward the closest shelter, namely Ryoga, who still stood before Akari. As Ranma watched, Shampoo set herself beside Ryoga, a protective wall against the threat. Alone of the non-martial artists, Nabiki had remained and was at her sister's side almost immediately.

"Ranma, I think she's okay. Watch Happosai," she called.

Happosai twitched in their direction, his eyes mad and glowing. "Swee-to!" he crooned. Ranma blocked the line of sight. Happosai's aura glowed, visible even in the huge mirror behind the bar. He seemed to levitate from the pool and danced across the stage on toe tips like a ballerina. "Swee-to!"

"This is it, freak!" snarled Ranma. "I've had enough of you makin' life miserable for every girl ya run across. Yer goin' _down_!"

Barry was in full agreement. Somehow the personal pain and danger had faded. It was Akane's pain and embarrassment, and Shampoo and Nabiki and all the countless others who had been victimized. He despised and feared the dangerous little ogre who drifted like an arc lamp through the perception of ki as he presently observed. Male again, Ranma had a better grip on the drunkenness and Barry stood inside ready to back and augment Ranma's ki attacks. They focused on their opponent and felt the power build within.

Without, silvery hot threads seemed to spin out of the air. To see Ranma's aura was a rare event; he didn't consider aura projection to be terribly useful. What was happening here was an uncontrolled and unconscious event, made possible by the abundance of ki the two beings shared in the unity of their purpose.

Ranma's aura cloaked him in the form of a humanoid cat, eyes glowing a deep red that hurt to see, power curling and drifting like fur ruffled by an unseen breeze. The hands flexed and silvery arcs of power extended like knives. The immaterial lips curled in a snarl, showing fangs.

"SWEE-to?"

Ranma snarled wordlessly at the hated vocalization. Akane, waking at Nabiki's insistent urging, gaped in shock. Ryoga, in front of Akari and the fallen Jani-san, shuddered. Shampoo gaped and stepped forward hesitantly.

"Ranma?" she whispered.

Happosai turned and went for her. Through the door across the room, Mousse staggered in. He sensed Shampoo's danger and chains whipped out at the little monster. They snapped like threads, sending Mousse tumbling head over heels into the room, nearly dislocating his arms from his shoulders. Shampoo ducked and Happosai barely missed her. He carried on straight at Ryoga who, white-faced, met him head-on.

Happosai brushed him aside. Nothing stood between Akari and Janet and the perverted master except Ranma, suddenly there, moving, ki_-_augmented and exulting in his own power. In a flurry of strikes, Ranma drove Happosai back. The skill and speed and resultant pain finally began to get through Happosai's madness.

Then he noticed the aura and the look, not hate, but the gleeful, intent look of a predator that found its prey. He tried to dodge to the pool; Ranma blocked him like a cat would a mouse. He tried to dodge past to one of the girls and was blocked the same way.

Cologne gasped. "Is he accessing Nekoken directly, now? It's never been done this way," she muttered. "Still, if anyone could do it…"

As Happosai's power reserves diminished, sanity returned fully and he realized his life just might be in danger. No longer striking back, he defended himself and tried to use reason. "Ranma! (Wuff!) I'm sorry! (unh!) Can't (owie!) we just call it quits and (oof!) be friends?" He blocked and blocked, but every ten strikes, one would get through. His clothing was becoming as decrepit as Ranma's and, while Ranma wasn't using his claws to cut his prey, every cat's patience eventually runs out.

Desperate, he pulled a Happodarikin and tried to throw it in Ranma's face. A swipe, a growl, and the dangerous pyrotechnic flew into the back yard to explode harmlessly. Ranma screamed in exultation and pinned Happosai against the bar. Ranma's 'ki-yah' of victory bounced off the glass like the scream of a cat. His eyes jerked up…

In the mirror… It was a huge c-c-c-_cat_ in the mirror! A _demon_ _CAT _in the mirror!

For an instant, Ranma froze. The aura's lips peeled back further and the eyes widened in threat as Ranma instinctively tried to frighten away what his senses were telling him was a horrifying opponent. He wanted to retreat but Barry, oblivious at this point and thirsting for Happi's blood, pressed on in opposition. Ranma was faced with a feline threat he could not physically escape, one that was growing more horrifying by the second. Happosai's eyes grew huge. He knew what was coming.

"mmmmmMMMMRRRRRAAOOOOOooowoowwww!"

Ranma's sudden retreat into the full Nekoken stripped Barry of the ability to influence Ranma's body. The eyes looking into Happosai's had nothing human left in them. Happosai cringed. He was too exhausted even to dodge. He tried to meet death with eyes open as Ranma's fist, studded with claws of power and trailing waves of ki, slashed around and drove toward his face.

(SPLOOSH!)

Ranma's fist finished its arc, as human awareness flooded her. Happosai was smashed across the bar into the mirror by the follow-though. He looked for a moment like a bug on a windshield, before sliding down unconscious behind the bar. The whole building shook with the blow, but astonishingly the mirror was undamaged.

An arm's length away, a pale Akane stood, empty glass in hand, staring fearfully at the petite redhead who leaned gasping on the heavy oak of the bar. At her tentative touch, Ranma shuddered and jerked as if waking from a particularly vile nightmare. Reassured, she let her arm encircle the smaller girl's shoulders and leaned over the bar. Himamashi was staring wide-eyed from the floor with Happosai draped across his substantial abdomen. Akane looked from the retired sumo to the mirror.

"Polycarbonate," he explained in a hoarse whisper. Slowly he got to his feet. He held Happosai at arm's length as if he were a live bomb. Akane didn't blame him. The freak might still _have_ another bomb on him.

Mousse staggered over to Cologne and struggled to free her. Shampoo joined him. "Ranma! Help us! Links are, are…"

"Saotome, he welded the links somehow," elaborated Mousse. They struggled with chains while Cologne winced and tried to tell them to leave her alone. Ranma felt over her own face as if to make sure she wasn't missing something. She blinked at Mousse and Shampoo and staggered over.

"You don't look well, son-in-law," Cologne said conversationally. "Don't worry about me. It's not like I'm in any danger now." The old woman looked at Ranma with concern.

Ranma-girl-type was gasping like a fish out of water, not at all like the cool, confident boy who would face death, then toss it off as if it were an inconvenience. Ranma reached out, felt the chains and suddenly they dropped to the floor, severed. Cologne staggered free, astonished and stared at the redhead.

Ranma looked at her impassively and turned away. She spoke to Akane, "How's Happosai?" Akane indicated the bar where Happosai lay on his back, still unconscious.

Cologne retrieved her staff and hopped over to examine him. "Good thing he's got a hard head," she commented dryly. "He'll live to plague more girls it seems." She looked back as Akane gasped, then toward Ranma who seemed to be the focus of the girl's regard. Shampoo came over and touched Ranma on the arm.

Ranma glanced toward her and away, looking at Happosai again. She sighed and walked over to the pool, immersing her arm until the change occurred. Male again, Ranma snagged a glass from behind the bar, filled it with water and dashed it in Happosai's face.

As the little pervert gasped awake, Ranma grabbed him by the throat. "Happosai! Just give me an excuse to finish you!"

Petrified, the object of Ranma's regard grew wide-eyed and pleading. "Ranma, I'm sorry! I… I didn't mean any harm. I just wanted to see the pretty ladies."

"Don't give me that, freak. You spiked my drink. You caused fights around the room by coppin' feels. You injured Mousse, Shampoo, Janet and some of the Furinkan students. You hurt Akane, damn you! And you wrecked Himamashi's bar." Blue eyes blazed unflinchingly into Happosai's black ones. "Go ahead, freak, twitch; make any little move, and I'll be glad to rebuild this place piece by piece over your rotting carcass."

Happosai, wisely, did not move.

"You are going to work, old man. You will personally use your unspeakable talents to rebuild this place and fix everything that Himamashi says is wrong, whether you think you caused it or not." Ranma spoke quietly, nose to nose with him. "If you leave before he's satisfied, I will make it my personal mission to track you down and lay you to rest where I catch up to you."

"You… you're going to make me stop playing with the pretty girls and the silky darlings," wailed the old man. "I'd rather be dead!"

"Come after me and you'll be in the hospital. Come after Akane, now…" Ranma grinned wickedly, "and you'll be... unpleasantly surprised. Leave Nabiki and Kasumi alone; they're not martial artists. So long as you don't hurt anyone, your life is your own."

Happosai looked hopeful. "You're a generous man, Ranma. Ah… I don't suppose I could get a bowl of the ramen over there? I feel weak with hunger…" He cringed as Ranma growled.

"Don't push your luck. I think there's still some uncharged stuff in the kitchen. If you ask nice, maybe Cologne won't add anything to it before you start to work."

"I'll behave, Ranma." Happosai fawned and groveled disgustingly. Ranma turned to the bar owner and bowed.

"I apologize, Himamashi-san for the damage to your business. If you wish, Happosai will stay until repairs are complete." The look he gave the short pervert prevented complaints from surfacing.

Janet Kolberg staggered up to the bar, looked at Happosai with a strange expression on her face and reached over for an unbroken bottle. She opened it, glared at anyone who looked askance and threw back a slug straight from the bottle. Himamashi took the bottle from her and shook his finger as she coughed. "Now why… (Hack!) …did I ever think…" Janet looked as if she was having trouble getting her breath. "(Cough! Cough!) …I wanted to do that?"

Himamashi smiled wryly. "If you don't normally drink, daughter-in-law, what makes you think you should start now?" He frowned as she pointed at Happosai and Ranma, and turned to the latter.

"I think we can manage, Saotome-san, but leave a number where I can reach you and I'll call if he gives us any trouble."

"Call anyway, about once a week. I don't trust him not to know some of the Amazon memory-altering techniques. If I don't hear from you, I'll come looking."

* * *

They made their good-byes, with Janet woozily complaining that she had missed Ranma fixing Happosai's hash, and left. Akari had found Katsunishiki little the worse for wear. The sumo pig sniffed her over, bumped Ryoga in greeting and knelt, waiting for Akari to mount.

"Akari'll get me to the Tendo's to pick up my pack, provided I don't get lost…"

"Oh nuts!" They all turned at Nabiki's uncharacteristic expletive. "I forgot about Ukyo." She related what she knew and what she had done to try to track down the missing okonomiyaki chef.

Ranma and Akane exchanged glances.

"We heard about her from Sasuke of all people. It seems Kuno-baby was being his normally charming self at some place north of here and ran across her. Konatsu went to bring her back, but he hasn't returned yet either."

Ranma looked grim. "We'll return to Nerima and make sure she got back. If not, I'll be going on another extended trip."

"Ranma…" Nabiki cautioned. "You miss too much school and you'll never graduate. You'll never make it up, if…"

"Ra… We owe her, Nabiki," Ranma said.

"How do you figure that?"

"There's more to life than money, Nabiki. Don't let one blind you to the other." Nabiki swallowed and started to fall back, but Ranma caught her shoulder with a hand. "Thank you for tryin'."

When he turned away, Shampoo caught his attention by bouncing over and firmly glomping him. "You go; Shampoo go, too. Good tracker! Watch airen's back."

"If she goes, I go," Akane immediately stated. "And I think you know _why_," she added grimly. Their eyes met and Ranma's head nodded.

"Akane, there is no need for both of us to miss school," he protested anyway. He turned to the Amazon. "Shampoo, are you just trying to get out of the punishment that's waiting for you from Cologne?"

Akane's jaw firmed even as Shampoo paled and looked to her grandmother for sentencing.

The latter shrugged. "Let's first see what's waiting for us at home, children. Perhaps we won't have to go haring off after Ukyo at all."

"Bets?" chorused everyone else at Cologne's statement.

"I'll give you six-to-one odds," added Nabiki.

Ranma and Akane ended up riding back on the bus Nabiki chartered for the trip to Himamashi's. Shampoo joined them, leaving Mousse and Cologne to drive the rickety truck back to the Nekohanten. Ranma noted Mousse's dagger looks but there was nothing he could do about it. It was only after they were aboard that it occurred to him to ask Shampoo who would be driving the truck.

"Mousse drive. Have license," she confirmed. She looked blank as everyone in hearing (and aware of Mousse's limitations) blanched. "Grandmother know way. They okay!"

"Right… Shampoo, I need to talk to Akane privately for a moment."

"Why?" She countered angry. "You have pervert-girl alone in woods for month!" Her listeners figuratively ducked at that bald statement. "Why need more time now?"

"First of all, Shampoo, we weren't alone," replied Ranma loudly. "Ryoga was there way before Akane. Second of all, nothing happened. Well, at least not what you're worried about. Thirdly, don't you want privacy from time to time when you want to plot… uh, I mean, talk with Cologne or Mousse? Why shouldn't I get the same privilege?"

Shampoo looked doubtful but stubborn.

"Come on, Amazon!" he said exasperated. "Do you think we'll '_do it_' right on the bus? In front of everybody?" Akane and Shampoo blushed at that barb and Shampoo returned quickly to her seat as Akane and Ranma, accompanied by catcalls and one tremulous warning from Gosunkugi, made their way to some privacy. "Akane," he whispered, "I don't know how to tell you this, but…"

"I think I know," she interrupted. She swallowed. "Barry, what happened to Ranma?"

Barry sweated at the emotion he heard in her words. He had never felt so alone. That she had been holding this in since he gave Happosai his marching orders spoke of her strong will and faith in Ranma. He hoped it wasn't misplaced.

"You saw we went neko?" Akane nodded. "Well, this time it was different, Akane." He looked around and found a lug wrench under the back seat. "The last time, I was just along for the ride, even learned some things we adapted later. I had no control during it; and afterwards, Ranma…well… This time…" Holding the wrench where she could see, he passed a finger near the heavy metal object.

It fell apart in two pieces, the edges of the division clean and sharp and cool. Akane swallowed.

"Barry, does this mean…?"

"Nekoken never turned back off. I feel very… _feline_." Barry struggled for some way to get across what had happened.

"But, Ranma?" she asked, horrified. Ranma didn't come back unless the Nekoken had passed.

"I don't know, Akane," Barry said sadly. "I'm trying to find him in here, but… I just don't know."

* * *

* * *

Ranma groaned. Happosai must have been carrying another Happodarikin bomb. Something wet slobbered his face. 'Yep! Katsunishiki in the back yard, which means they're in trouble. I got to get up, help them…' He opened his eyes.

It was not Katsunishiki. It was not night. He was not in Himamashi's back yard. It was a huge building from the echoes, open at the sides and covered with a corrugated steel roof. The slobbering animal, a horse, waited patiently, lipping his hair with concern.

"Barry! Are you all right?" The language, partially masked with a thick accent not native to it, pulled his attention to a small, rugged man on another horse. Ranma belatedly recognized the language as English and found he could reply in kind.

"I'm okay, Bob. Just surprised." 'Boy, was he ever!' He rose groaning to his feet and looked down at his dust-covered body. He was wearing boots — weird how they felt both comfortable and alien at the same time — blue jeans and a red polyester shirt that felt slick with sweat.

He took stock of the animal, Buddy, which had thrown Barry apparently only a moment before, and unconsciously flipped the reins back over the animal's neck. He mounted from the left and tried to take stock of what had happened, as he let the trained reactions of the body do what was expected.

Legs squeezed casually, heels applied a touch of blunt spurs. The hands asked for softness and balance in the neck as the horse was driven onto the bit. Hips and lower body swayed to a movement that was comfortable and soothing to the horse. He had to start looking for answers immediately.

Barry's memories indicated that there were still six hours left in this workday, with one more day before Barry's day off. Somehow he had to make contact with his home and his universe. The answer had to be in ki and kitechniques. Perhaps the… Carnegie Library would have some answers; Barry had said it was one of the biggest in the eastern U.S.

As he rode the horse, musing over his problem, he became aware of an aspect of Barry's life that had not come up before. Cats! There were at least a dozen of the furry little monsters playing and lounging all around the arena.

Ranma stiffened, his heart lurching in horror.


	17. Subletting

**Guest Ki: Chapter 16**

_**Sub-letting**_

At Ucchan's, Barry met Konatsu head on. The young man had returned to the restaurant in their absence to find that Ukyo had not returned. If a person could be considered to be beside himself with worry, Konatsu would have fit the bill. He fluttered between the grill, sizzling with okonomiyaki waiting delivery to the customers, and the front door as they entered. He finally chose the door and took a brief moment to attempt to chastise Ranma for causing Ukyo to act this way.

Barry fended off this half-hearted attempt with three brief, almost casual, blocks to the blows that struck at head, knee and groin. In a way, it was a relief; he had wondered how he would fair on his own in Ranma's body. Apparently, the Nekoken quickened the available reaction time to the point where he could operate Ranma's training and reflexes at something near Ranma's normal speeds.

"Good ta see ya, too, Konatsu," he said, trying as best he could to match Ranma's speech patterns. "Nabiki just got hold of us."

"What are we going to do, Ranma-dono?" the ninja wailed.

"We're gonna look fer her, of course," Barry replied easily. Ranma would put aside everything to search for Ukyo, so Barry could do no less. Until Ranma returned or Barry got sent back home, he felt honor-bound to try to carry out Ranma's wishes to the best of his ability to perceive them. "How good are you at open country tracking, Konatsu?"

"Miserable," the slim man said, slumping on a stool, "which is why I came back here… Oh, no! The okono—!" He froze with horror as he noticed Akane flipping the oriental pancakes over to cook on the opposite side.

"Akane, stop that," Barry chided. "You're freakin' poor Konatsu out." She stiffened and her eyes narrowed, threateningly. "Let him make his own mistakes, okay?"

"Are you saying my cooking…" He cut her off.

"I'm not real worried 'bout that, Akane. After all, you didn't mix the batter or add the toppings." Her ire increased. He must be doing a good job imitating her fiancé to get this reaction. "You really shouldn't mangle the cutlery like that; it ain't yours, y'know."

"Oooh!" She stalked from behind the counter and grabbed him by the pigtail on her way to the door.

Departing, he shouted at Konatsu, "Just hold the fort, buddy. We'll find her if anybody can!" Shampoo dodged back with a scowl as they passed her. "Shampoo, meet us at the dojo. We have to re-supply, anywa-ay-y…" He experienced his first Akane-punt.

Good loft she got, too. After the initial shock and pain, he found it pretty up here. Barry tucked his legs and adjusted his trajectory. He didn't want to hit the wall or the buildings on the way down. Ah, the koi pond was coming up; his velocity was about a hundred kilometers an hour; time to use ki to shed the velocity to survivable levels. Better stiffen the personal shields as well… Here it came!

(SMA-PlooooOOSH!)

Barry briefly wondered how the fish managed to survive being traumatized all the time. Carp were tough, but this was asking a bit much, even for them. She rose, dripping and flinching, as one koi had the misfortune of winding up inside the sagging waistline of her now oversized pants. After extracting it, she looked up to find that Soun and Genma had been playing Go just a few yards away.

They were both dripping and Ranma's father was, of course, a panda. A sign came up. Welcome back, son!

Soun pushed wet locks of hair from in front of his eyes and glared at Barry. "Where is my daughter, _your_ fiancée?" he demanded.

"On her way over from Ucchan's," Barry replied, ringing out her shirt. "She decided ta have me come ahead and announce her."

"So," Akane's father said glumly, "you're still fighting." His stiff, angry gaze suddenly dissolved into a flood of tears. "Ohhh… The families will never be united! Never! How cruel fate has been!"

"Can it, Tendo." Barry eyed him coldly. Ranma had seen more than enough of these emotional jags to form his opinion and Barry concurred. It was just another form of manipulation.

"Don't mess with us. If Akane or me want out of the engagement, we'll let you know, so save yer tears. As fer me…" she finally doffed the soaked shirt and snickered inside as Soun froze at the sight of the accusative breasts, "…I'm for a hot bath. Later!"

Genma's sign came up with a hastily scrawled, Have some decency, boy! Your mother's here!

Barry grimaced, drew back on the clinging fabric and hoped Nodoka hadn't seen the action out here. This was one area he dreaded. Ranma had no idea what constituted manly behavior in his mother's eyes and Barry had no experience with a traditional Japanese mother's values. This could get really dicey, really fast.

She paused outside the door, listening. It sounded like Nodoka was with Kasumi in the kitchen. Moving as quietly as she could, she glided toward the bath.

Once inside, she listened again, undressed rapidly and snatched a towel from the stack available. Her hand went to the door to slide it open and stopped. There was no sign on the door and no noise from inside to indicate anyone was present. Still, she hadn't heard from Nabiki, who might be home. Barry lifted a hand and rapped on the door. Then rapped again. No response.

She slid the door open and moved quickly inside, taking two steps toward the showerhead before stopping dead. Dammit! Nabiki had gotten home and forgot to put the sign up. She didn't respond because she had her ears plugged by the headphones of a CD player.

Barry groaned. She forgot to get clean clothes before coming in and was now stuck with the choice of retreating in the dirty, damp clothing she just discarded or… Then she heard a sound that chilled her. The outer door was sliding open. She had only a heartbeat to decide what to do.

"Ranma?" The voice of Nodoka came faintly through the door. As before, the girl in the tub didn't seem to hear. The inner door slid open and Nodoka stuck her head in. "Ranma? Oh, I'm sorry, Nabiki."

The middle Tendo rolled her head back and gazed at Nodoka. Her expression was fortunately well schooled, as it brought into her view exactly where the redhead was and in what condition; pressed stark naked against a corner of the ceiling almost directly over Nodoka's head. Nabiki blinked once, then asked, "What do you want, Auntie?"

Nodoka wrung her hands. "Dearest tells me Ranma came home a few minutes ago. Since he wound up in the koi pond, I assumed he'd be coming to get a bath before dinner. His wet clothes are even in the laundry, but I can't seem to find him!"

"Well," Nabiki answered carefully, "I didn't hear anything while I was in here, but I'm sure he'll turn up eventually."

Barry watched amused at how casually she misdirected the older woman without actually lying to her. It was masterful. She just hoped Nabiki would get rid of Ranma's mom before her grip gave out.

"I hope so," Nodoka looked down a moment. "I'd better see if Kasumi needs anything. When you see him, could you tell him to find me right away? I understand that he and Akane were together for some time and I wish to see if he has changed his mind about a new marriage ceremony. I'll see you at dinner."

She ducked out again and slid the door shut. Nabiki continued to observe Barry in her rather exposed position in the corner of the room. After hearing the outer door close, Nabiki turned in the tub and draped her arms over the sides. With a mischievous smile, she indicated Barry could get down.

"Ranma…"

Barry shushed her with a sudden waving gesture and a panicked look. The door to the bathroom slid open again suddenly and Nodoka stuck her head back in. She took in Nabiki who lounged with a surprised look and raised eyebrows, then turned and looked directly up at the corner where Barry had been hiding.

The corner of the ceiling seemed empty. Nabiki choked back an exclamation, drawing Nodoka's gaze again. From Nabiki's point of view, between the instant that Ranma's mother had come through the door and the moment she had looked up into the corner, Ranma had vanished.

Nodoka was nonplused. She glanced around the room and even edged over and looked into the water to see if Ranma was somewhere below. She returned to the doorway and dithered. "I'm terribly sorry, Nabiki! I, ah… I just realized that, well... I… I'm sorry to intrude on you again. My apologies." She bowed low and exited before Nabiki could say anything.

The middle Tendo heard the outer door close again, with some authority. She barely restrained a scream when Barry dropped, apparently out of empty space, to land softly on the tiles. Quickly, the redhead whipped a towel around herself and turned away.

"Whew! That was close," came a thankful whisper.

"Where did you go to?" Nabiki demanded in a hiss.

"Nowhere," came the smug reply. "If she looked down again, she'da seen my reflection on the tiles like she musta the first time."

"First time?" Nabiki suddenly remembered that she hadn't heard the outer door open before Nodoka had returned. "She was trying to catch us? But how did you…"

"I think so. You remember that business with Pop's sealed techniques?" When Nabiki nodded in understanding, she said, "I've made some improvements," then added, "I didn't think ya wanted ta be a fiancée again, now did ya?"

Nabiki seemed to consider the idea. "Somehow my taste doesn't run to cute, perky, female redheads," she answered finally. Then as Ranma seemed relieved, she added, "Of course a tall, dark, handsome, male martial artist might change my mind. Want to join me?" She lightly slapped the water beside her.

Barry's eyes narrowed as she regarded the woman in the tub. Akane's sister was as devious as they got. She had managed to turn the tables nicely and was attempting, yet again, to force money or a favor out of Ranma. As Ranma's unofficial guardian and caretaker, Barry was not amused by the attempt. Steeliing herself, she turned and sauntered over beside Nabiki and hunkered down.

"All ya need ta do is yell 'Hi, Ranma!' or 'Ranma, couldn't you wait till tonight?' an' yer in the harem again, like it or not. Of course, Akane would kill me, so it won't be fer too long…" She looked at the steam rising from the water. "Tell ya what, Nabs… I'll rinse off out here and ya can finish yer soak. When I'm done, I'll crawl in. If yer still there… Well, ya can claim anythin' ya want. Deal?"

"You expect me to believe you'll just…" Nabiki's voice was amused.

"Believe what ya like, Nabiki," Barry said as she dropped the towel and began lathering her body. "I'll be in there in three minutes." Nabiki didn't move, but watched with apparent disinterest as Ranma washed thoroughly. Her lips pursed and her eyebrows creased as the redhead rinsed.

When Barry swung Ranma's clean, shapely legs over the edge of the tub, Nabiki erupted from the bath and hurtled into the outer room in a flash. Laughing softly to himself as the change finished, Barry let himself sink entirely under the water for a moment. He hoped Akane would give him time to explain if she ever heard of the incident. He thought she would appreciate the humor of her sister's predicament. As for what Nodoka might think? Well, nothing had happened and in the end, Ranma, not Barry, would make the final choice. He hoped the young man would have the good sense not to put it off too long. As he leaned back in the soaking warmth of the tub, a frown creased his forehead. "Damn! I still don't have any clean clothes ta put on."

* * *

Akane walked the streets fuming. Damn Barry! They had intended him to play out Ranma's role as best he could. He apparently decided that pushing every button that ever infuriated her was the best way to do it! It had been a relief to her when he had fended off Konatsu so effortlessly. Barry seemed to have retained access to Ranma's training, though to what degree she couldn't say yet. Still, he had done it with pure Ranma flair as if the effort weren't even worth mentioning.

But to insult her cooking…! She fumed. She hadn't even done the cooking. Just flipped the okonomiyaki over when the edge turned brown. She hadn't broken them or plastered them to the ceiling like she had the last time. Oooh! Barry better watch just how well he played Ranma or she'd kill him. How could a thirty-something man act so immaturely?

In light of that statement, she paused. He _was _acting immaturely, something her few conversations with Barry had not indicated. His coaching had helped her maintain her poise when Shampoo stripped her of her suit in front of all those people at the ramen fight and she had won. Damn that Barry! He was _acting_. She had a feeling she'd have to watch him more closely than she ever had Ranma or his improvisations could wind them all in real trouble. Where was Ranma when she needed him?

That was the crux of the problem. At the moment, only she knew that Barry was alone in the body of her fiancé. What if he was more than he seemed? Had Ranma been forced out accidentally? Ranma seemed to trust Barry, but Barry offered Ranma the one thing her fiancé had a distinct weakness for — powerful, new techniques. Ranma was just too trusting. If they'd gone straight to Cologne, maybe he'd still be in there. Maybe he'd also be in China as part of the deal.

Barry might be arranging for their wedding even as she walked back. All he'd have to do is walk up to her father saying, 'Hi, Mr. Tendo. I'm ready to marry Akane now.' She'd be wearing a wedding dress in front of a priest before she got two words out. Yes! This was just another convoluted plot to force her into marriage and she had even helped it along. Dummy that she was, she had kicked him right at the dojo.

Alternatively, what if he used the fact she punted him as proof she was unfit to be Ranma's bride? He might have broken the engagement in Ranma's name. He could be anywhere by now. He could even be at the Nekohanten! Shampoo had been cuddling and rubbing in a truly disgusting manner on the bus; Barry seemed merely polite and reserved… But, he was… acting.

If he had Ranma's memories, he knew that Shampoo was quite willing to '_do it_' in public, if it would bind Ranma to her. Cologne wouldn't care who was in Ranma's body, as long as the skills were there and the body could breed strong children for the Amazons. Oh, kami! She could be losing Ranma to that bimbo right now. She gasped as another thought occurred to her. What if Barry were some demon or spirit sent by Cologne to set up just these results?

Tears dripped down her face in reaction to her fears. She'd lost Ranma! Right as she thought she would get her first kiss from him, right as she'd felt her heart and his beat so close… So close! Damn Happosai! Damn Barry! Damn Cologne and Shampoo! When she got home there'd be hell to pay. Damn Ranma! Once she got him back, no one was ever going to take him from her again!

She took to the rooftops using the training Ranma had given her in the forest to move swiftly on her way. Like an avenging angel, she descended on the Tendo home and slid like a ghost into the main room, all senses alert.

Barry sat as Ranma sat, cross-legged with one hand supporting his head. He seemed relaxed, dressed comfortably in clean clothes, with damp hair and a cup of hot tea before him courtesy of Kasumi. On one side, Nabiki sat glumly listening to something Nodoka was saying across him. There was a space for her between Nabiki and Barry. As Akane slid into view, he looked up, smiled and slapped the table to get the others' attention.

"Told ya she'd get home before dinner hit the table, Nabs!" he said aside to her sister. "Now what were those odds ya gave me?" Nabiki looked as if she had been sucking on a lemon.

Akane grabbed Barry and threw him in the pond. The redhead came up spluttering. It didn't take much acting at all to shriek, "_Wadja do that for_!"

Akane turned and ran sobbing to her room.

Barry picked herself out of the koi pond and stomped, swearing, back to the open shoji. Nabiki regained her composure first.

"And what was that all about?"

"It's been a tough month," Barry replied cryptically.

Nodoka shifted on her heels, glanced toward the steps, then at her son/daughter. "Perhaps you should go see how she is?"

Barry pretended to consider the idea and waved it aside. "I think I'll get another bath instead. If she's still all weepy an' stuff then, I'll see how she is." Gathering the shreds of her dignity, Barry started to stamp into the house.

"Ranma." Kasumi's voice held promise of… disappointment. Barry looked at the eldest Tendo, then down at her feet where a puddle was accumulating. Kasumi was reminding Ranma not to get the floors all wet and slippery again.

"Sorry, Kasumi," she said, retreating and heading around the back of the house. She'd go in through the entrance from the dojo walkway, sparing herself the suffering looks Kasumi would otherwise be offering. No one crossed Oneechan.

* * *

After a quick bath, Barry slipped into Ranma's room for another clean outfit, black silk shirt and black pants to fit his black mood. Akane didn't have to act so damn typical, did she? He was only trying to hold down the fort, as it were, and keep Ranma's options open. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe she thought she could manipulate him into canceling the other engagements for her, leaving her a clear field when Ranma returned…

If Ranma returned.

That was the hell of it, not knowing. Not knowing if he would ever get back to his Gwen. Not knowing if they were safe, or if they were crying over his grave, or standing silent beside some wasting body in a hospital bed. He groaned in sudden understanding. That was it, probably. Akane was in the same agony of doubt.

God above, what were they going to do if this were… permanent? He was twice her age, for crying out loud! Well, his mind was, anyway. The thought of going through life as a sham-Ranma with Akane pretending to love him, hoping each moment that _her_ Ranma would come back, was too grotesque for words. As tough, smart and loyal as Akane was, she wasn't his. 'Ranma, where the hell are you?'

As he finished dressing, he heard Kasumi call for dinner. That would have to wait… but not too long. He walked down the hall and rapped on Akane's door. "Akane?" There was silence. He rapped again. "Akane!" He tried the knob gently. It was locked. Sweating, he considered his options.

There was only one, really. He had to get in there and see if Akane was all right. She was under tremendous stress. While he didn't think she had done anything stupid, he couldn't be sure. As he had with Nodoka earlier, he used his ki perception to locate her in her room. She was slumped boneless on the floor beside her bed. At this point, Ranma would have broken down the door. Barry firmly gripped the doorknob and used the flat of his hand to warp the door between hinges and knob. After a second, the latch slipped free. He was beside her in a moment, checking her pulse and rolling her head back so he could check if her pupils were dilated. He almost hugged her in relief when her eyes flickered open on their own.

"Ranma…"

"Barry," he corrected automatically. He saw the sudden flinch and the hurt in her eyes, but could find no way around it. "You okay? Kasumi's called us down for dinner."

"I'm not hungry."

"I understand. Ya still up to lookin' for Ukyo tomorrow?"

Akane stared at him. "What about Ranma?"

Barry shrugged helplessly. "I'm doing what I can, Akane. But if we let on that something's happened…"

"What _are_ you doing?" she demanded.

Barry sat down on the floor. "I'm hunting for him, Akane." He scratched his head vigorously, as if to restore blood-flow in that little used area. "In here. I feel like he's looking over my shoulder – but when I turn around, he's not there." He met her eyes. "I know what yer thinkin', tomboy, but Ranma really didn't want to get the old ghoul involved."

"But if it would get him back…" Akane's eyes teared up.

"Ranma would rather be beholden to a dragon," Barry muttered looking away from the painful sight of her tears. His fist clenched. "And what if she just uses my presence as a weakness to get her way?" he snarled softly. "Ya know Ranma was worried about that."

"I know," the blue-black bangs bobbed as she nodded. "I am, too."

Barry sighed. "I'm sorry, Akane. Ranma was so… adamant… We gotta follow his lead for now."

Akane stifled a sob, but nodded. "And Ukyo?" she asked.

"Ukyo?" Barry blinked before recovering. "She's Ranma's friend. _He_ would drop everything and look for her."

"Yes. She's my friend, too, even if I'm angry with her." Akane looked over at him and grimaced. "Do you… Do you have to sound so much like Ranma, all the time?" She looked at him with a pained expression.

"When yer in the costume, play the role," he answered sadly. "That way ya don't make embarrassin' mistakes."

Faintly from downstairs, came Kasumi's voice, interrupting. "Ranma, Akane? Are you coming down for dinner?"

"Comin', Kasumi," Barry bellowed. "What shall I tell them, Akane?"

She sighed and took his offered hand to rise to her feet. "Let's go down."

* * *

It was strange how alien yet familiar it was to be squeezed in cheek by jowl with the family around the table. Barry had noticed something similar, once before, on a trip to Eastern Europe, that Americans demanded a much wider personal space than other peoples. Conversations were conducted practically at nose point and he was wedged between Nodoka, who fussed about his appearance and manners, and Akane, who ate solidly, mechanically and emotionlessly, staring into space and rewarding conversation directed at her with surly monosyllables.

"So, Ranma," Nodoka asked pleasantly. "Were you and Akane alone much of the time?"

"Not at all, Momma. Ryoga arrived the end of the first week and after Akane showed up, we all trained the entire time." He omitted the fact that Akane had crawled in the sleeping bag with Ranma that first night. "By the way, we gotta be off again. Ukyo's missing; she's been seen up north. Akane, Shampoo and I are gonna track her down."

Nodoka smiled warmly. "My manly son! You'll be alone with three beautiful girls…"

"Mom!" Barry tried to hide his amusement in the outburst as Akane's head snapped in their direction. Ranma's mother was weird! "We're lookin' for Ucchan; not a place ta hold an orgy!"

"But think of the possibilities, boy." Genma whispered across the table. His eyes bugged as Soun smacked him with a rolled newspaper. Barry gave a discrete nod of thanks to Soun.

"Ukyo's been missin' almost since I left," he explained to Nodoka. "I do _not_ consider her a bride or a concubine, so forget that!"

"But what about the dowry…"

"Pop's problem, not mine." Suddenly he glared at Genma. "Don't even think of offerin' to make her _your _concubine, old man!" Barry caught Nodoka's flare of anger as they both drilled Genma with their gazes. Apparently she was as reluctant to share Genma as she was quick to push all sorts of idiocies on her son. Interesting... "When we find her, and if she's willin', I have a different idea," he said, leaning back. "I always thought of her as a friend. Maybe, she wouldn't mind bein' my sister…"

"Adoption?" queried Nodoka. The table fell silent as they considered. "Do you think the Kuonji family would accept that?"

"Not a clue. I guess we need ta find out what Ucchan wants first." He chewed his lip, thoughtfully. Ranma's mother brightened, drawing Barry's attention. What was the woman up to? He riffled through Ranma's memories to find those of the night following the failed wedding. Something about families adopting concubines to carry on family…

"Oh, no. Momma, don't even _think_ it!"

"But it would ensure…"

"_No_!"

"But…"

"The day you add concubines and mistresses to Pop's life is the day I'll _maybe_ consider discussin' doin' the same. Not one second before!"

She pouted. Barry almost choked as he saw an older version of Ranma's girl-type sitting beside him. He looked at Genma who was looking at the ceiling and whistling tunelessly. He glanced briefly at Akane and saw, even without using the ki-vision, her aura flaring dully. He turned back to Nodoka.

"No way, Mom! I'd lose any hope of harmony in my home. If I offered that to Ukyo, I'd hafta offer it ta the other two as well, and any other girls Pops hooked me up with. I'm not goin' there." He heard a snicker. "Shut up, Nabiki!"

Finally, Nodoka sighed and changed the subject. She had not conceded, merely retreated for the moment. Akane seemed calmer and actually ate Kasumi's dinner with some enthusiasm.

* * *

It was after dinner that their guest arrived.

"Hel-lo-o!" A girl's voice caroled in from the direction of the gate. "Anyone home?"

Barry was in the dojo with Akane and both families, discussing the training Akane received on the trip. They sparred under the watchful gazes of Soun and Genma building to the high speed and mobility Akane acquired. To Akane's intense surprise and glee, she caught Barry with a good solid strike and sent him crashing through the wall ten meters away. As he rolled to a halt in the yard, he heard the call and recognized the voice of Akari Unryu.

"Hi, Akari," he rambled, rising unsteadily to his feet. "Good to see you made it here this fine morning or whatever. Please excuse my inhospitable appearance but Akane just kicked me in the head." He proceeded to stretch his full length at her feet in the manner of a felled tree.

"Ranma?"

"Akari!" cried Akane in excitement. "Did you see that? I beat him! I really beat him!" She jumped over the boy's recumbent form and whirled Akari around in an excess of enthusiasm.

"Ummm…" Akari kept glancing down at the unconscious form of Ranma. "Is he all right?"

"Oh, he has a hard head," Akane replied. "He'll be fine in a minute. Where's Ryoga?"

Akari looked both amused and disgusted. "Would you believe I lost him only two blocks from here?" She shook her head. "Can Katsunishiki come in? People get upset if he waits out in the street."

"Of course."

The enormous sumo pig squeezed through the gate to the yard. Noticing the recumbent Ranma, he lumbered over and nudged him with his snout.

"Rully 'kane, 'm okay. Don worry! Din hurdadall."

After some minutes and several slobbery pig nuzzles, Barry regained consciousness. It was quite a start to look up into the huge visage of the pig above him. His mind raced, made associations. "Oh! Akari is here. Hi, Katsunishiki."

Barry reached up and scratched under the huge jaw and the pig grunted his surprise and pleasure. It arched its head up, closed its eyes and submitted to a thorough scratching under the chin and neck. Barry liked animals and while he had never dealt with a pig this size before, felt confident making a proper acquaintance. He finally smacked the pig on its broad shoulder affectionately and went to find out where everyone had gone. Katsunishiki peered after him, snuffling softly. He could smell water somewhere and wouldn't mind a drink and maybe a good muddy roll.

The koi were going to be especially traumatized today.

Barry walked into the main room and stopped dead. There was a little black pig in Akari's arms. P-chan? Or was this the pig Nabiki had acquired to replace him? He looked enquiringly at Nabiki who held up two fingers where Nodoka wouldn't see them. The latter, then.

"Hi, Akari. Where's Ryoga?"

"Oh, Ranma. I lost him only two blocks from here," she explained, distressed. "We were passing the fountain in the park and I sat down to get a stone out of my shoe. When I looked up, he was gone." She sighed. "I feel so stupid."

"Didja look in the fountain?"

"Now I feel really stupid!" she cried, springing to her feet.

"I'll go." Barry was out the door and over the wall as fast as his feet could carry him. Maybe Akane would feel more comfortable if there was someone else to share the burden of knowledge. If so, Ryoga would be perfect for the job. Nabiki might be another choice.

* * *

Barry marveled how easily Ranma's memories flowed at his wish. Ranma's memories pinpointed precisely where the fountain was and what it looked like. As he rushed onward, he tried to recall the water's depth. The sound of splashing water carried to his ears even now. As he skidded to a stop, he searched the fountain. It was getting too dark for normal vision, but Barry had become accustomed to using the ki senses developed while sharing space with Ranma.

That was one thing he wouldn't mind taking back with him. In the world of ki, everything was a source, rocks, trees, dust in the air, the ground, even the worms and small animals coursing like fish in the earth beneath his feet. The statuary of the fountain gleamed like silver, the artwork holding a different quality than the cut stone of the verge. Barry decided that the skills of the artist somehow endowed his works with power. It gave a whole new meaning to the legend of Pygmalion. It glowed like a living thing and effectively blocked his ki-sense. He shook his head. He was letting himself get distracted.

"Ry-O-GA!" he bellowed. He had trouble hearing himself over the sound of the fountain. If Ryoga had fallen in, Akari would not have heard his squeals. He reached in and felt for the bottom. He barely touched it before the change hit and shortened his/her reach by ten centimeters.

She doubted Ryoga could have gotten out, no leverage to push against. Barry had no idea if Ryoga could manage any of his special techniques or would even think to use them before he drowned. Jumping in, she waded through waist-deep water to the sculpted centerpiece.

"Ry-O-GA! Damn! The w-water's c-cold!" She investigated the nooks and crannies of the sculpture as she felt with her toes along the bottom for a body, just in case. He might have gotten out of the pool itself if he had gone to the sculpture. "Eeuw!" She hit something on the bottom.

"He fell in all right." Her toes dragged up Ranma's spare clothes, loaned to Ryoga weeks before. She found shirt, pants, boxers and after a moment one of the slippers. Squeezing the water out, she bellowed a few more times as she finished her circuit of the fountain. Wherever he was now, he wasn't here.

Barry climbed out of the pool and thought a long moment. There was one more thing she might try. Getting to her feet, she pointed to the Tendo dojo. Then she turned in exactly the opposite direction and ran as fast as she could. Any place where a side street offered a change of direction, she took it. She did as best she could to pay absolutely no attention whatsoever to where she was going. In minutes, she was lost.

It never occurred to Barry that Ranma, with his speed and curiosity, had not explored the entire Tokyo region extensively. The truth was that Ranma was actually fairly cautious since his curse and unwilling to travel far from his home territory without a need. It was not something Ranma admitted to himself. Tokyo was larger than most cities in the world, magnitudes larger than Barry's hometown.

"Can you say 'stupid'?" Barry mocked herself. "Can you say 'provincial'? I knew you could!"

The buildings created a maze she couldn't surmount, too tall for even Ranma's trained and augmented strength to leap atop. The character of her surroundings was not reassuring. Unlike most streets she had seen in Tokyo, this one was not clean and crowded and it was not in good repair. A woman wandering streets like this at night, especially one as unusual and striking as Ranma, was asking for trouble.

Barry's ki-vision was obscured to an alarming degree by the miasma of chaotic aura that drifted in the air of the place. She wondered if the character of the inhabitants was reflected in the ki, or if the ki slowly warped those living there as it blanketed the vicinity in a thick, viscous fog. But even through that fog, Barry could sense the approach of several local denizens who might have been alerted to the presence of the stranger among them. It would not be surprising if they came seeking whatever advantage they could find.

Defensively, Barry utilized the technique she had used on Ranma's mother. Looking for P-chan would have to wait. Fighting her way out of this part of town was a last choice. First she'd try run and hide.

The first local was not awe-inspiring at a glance. He was little taller than she, and as skinny as Gosunkugi. His eyes though, his eyes told another story. They were curiously dead in Barry's ki-sight, yet flamed angrily in a very knowing manner. Minute changes in stance and his silent, stealthy glide spoke of one used to fighting for his life and expecting to do so at a moment's notice. He was armed, though not visibly. Barry suspected a chain and at least one knife.

He avoided the illumination of the few street lamps and pressed against the wall, not far from her. She was deeply affected that this dangerous character, observed close range, couldn't be much more than ten or twelve years old. He felt ancient. She now sensed what he had earlier, as two more individuals passed by, large men this time.

"You see her?" muttered one.

"No, and we don't have much more time. We ship in…" The other looked at a watch, "…an hour and a half. If we want to add to this shipment, we have to wrap by quarter of."

"Maybe we can keep one out, in that case, for the trip over."

"Maybe we could," said the second with a nasty laugh. They moved out of hearing.

Beside her, she heard teeth grind. A glance showed tears streaming down the face of the curiously old boy. He came off the wall a centimeter or two and glided after the men. A moment later, Barry followed. She had nothing better to do and maybe she'd see something she recognized. She also had a feeling the kid was going to do something dangerous and, possibly, stupid. 'Besides,' she told herself, 'there's something I don't like about all this and I want to know what it is.'

After searching up and down several blocks, the two large men gave up in disgust and headed east. Barry could now smell brine and oil and hear the heavy thud that large maritime engines produce. They were near one of Tokyo's many docks. She followed the men and the boy to a midsize steamship.

"You're late." A man, whose business suit did not quite fit somehow, looked up from the clipboard he perused. He looked a no-nonsense type of character. The other two seemed somewhat intimidated by him.

"We thought we saw another for the meat locker shipment. Would have been pricey with that red hair. Heh-heh."

The suit grabbed the laughing man by the throat and shook him.

"We operate because we're careful and keep a low profile. Don't get creative. You don't have the brains for it." He threw the object of his displeasure aside like a doll. "Get aboard and stow the rest of the cargo. Mr. Yan says we cast off at eight."

Barry turned her attention back to the kid, but he was gone. She grimaced. It sounded like these people were dealing in kidnapping and slavery. The question was how to stop them. The concept of butting out never occurred to her. Then she saw a form move up one of the hawsers toward the ship. She drifted over. The boy went hand over hand up the arm-thick rope. He stopped at the huge disc which, theoretically, kept rats from boarding.

This little rat unwrapped the chain she had suspected he carried and swung it around the disk to wrap around the hawser on the other side. She waited till he gained the ship's side and walked up the rope. Trained balance and reflexes have some advantages after all. Like a ghost, she followed where he led. He entered a door, shutting it softly behind him.

Barry closed on the door rapidly and sought within. The boy was moving quickly now; she'd have to hurry to keep up. Deep in the holds of the ship they traveled, till he came to a series of metal-sided refrigeration containers designed for meat. There he slowed and examined the huge boxes one by one. Barry could see far better than the boy now and canvassed the area quicker. In one box, the glow of life was evident. Outside stood the two men she had followed earlier.

"Think we should check on them?" one laughed.

"We should make sure everyone is all right," said the other with false piety as he produced a ring of keys and sought for the lock on the door.

Barry cursed silently. She could take them but there were at least twenty forms in the heavy locker. Most were not moving and their ki signatures indicated some form of chemical inhibition. She'd need help and perhaps help was close at hand.

Kwan Li So moved between the cargo containers, desperately holding on to his temper. Miki-Oni was somewhere aboard. He heard she'd been taken by the damn Triad earlier that evening. He was determined to get her out. She had been the only good thing in his young life.

But there were so many boxes. The ship was not large as such went, but there were acres of space that they could hide their precious human cargo in, bound for the flesh pits of the continent. It was only a matter of time before he ran into one of the crew.

"Hey, kid!"

He whirled at the whisper, knife and chain coming out, a snarl forming on his lips. 'Discovered!' Before him stood… a girl?

"If yer lookin' fer someone, we hafta move fast," she said glancing over her shoulder. "Those two goons we were followin' wanna make whoopee, I think."

Kwan crouched frozen for a moment then moved forward aggressively. "Who are you?" he whispered. "Do you belong to one of the crew?" The edge of his twenty-centimeter blade glittered in the dim light. He gasped as the petite redhead seemed to twitch and the knife was in her hands.

"We don't got time fer chit-chat!" she snarled, handing the knife back to him. "If ya have someone ya care for in this place, follow me." She turned and threaded rapidly through the aisles. After an instant he followed, weaving between the containers as silently as she.

They came to the open container quickly. From inside, they could hear the two men discussing the quality of the 'meat'.

"She's got big ones. I like big ones."

"I don't know. I always worry what girls like her have been up to, you know? I don't trust them."

"You were with me when we looked for that redhead earlier."

"That was different. She looked fresh…"

Kwan took out a mirror and glanced around the corner of the door. Strapped down on two rows of shelves six high and five deep were about two dozen girls from ten to sixteen years of age. Some moaned in nightmares. Others drooled. How was he going to take on two street-smart and dangerous big men? He glanced around for his guide and discovered the redhead had moved. She was now posing seductively, just inside the door. He opened his mouth in protest, and shut it again when she drawled, "Looking for me, boys?"

Two heads snapped around, two jaws dropped, two throats worked convulsively. She moved closer, hips swaying, fingers playing with the fasteners of the shirt slowly revealing white skin, the firm mounds of her breasts as her dancing fingers moved lower and lower…

There was a sudden series of heavy blows. Kwan gasped. Both men were down, unmoving. The redhead glanced back and beckoned him in, even as she fastened the shirt again. He moved into the container edging nervously past the girl to search for Miki, and quickly found her on the second shelf from the rear. "If the one you seek is here, take her and let's go," Kwan hissed. "We can't bring them all!"

"Not so fast, kid." The redhead's eyes were dangerous. "I go for all or nothin'."

"Are you crazy? We'll…"

"You look bright. Know how to operate the controls on a crane?"

"Well, yes, but…"

"Good, we'll close and lock the door on this place and I'll blow the hatch of this hold. We'll have to work fast to get them onto the dock, 'cause this ship'll be sinking."

"Sinking? But…"

"How long to make it to the crane an' do ya need any help?"

"About ten minutes, but…" He paused, expecting an interruption. "How will you get the hatch open?"

"Same way I'll sink the ship; I have an explosive personality. I'll wait ten, then blow the bow off." Barry paused. Making this up on the run was hair-raising business. "Everybody should rush to get off the boat and the harbor patrol will come. By that time, we'll have the box outa the hold and on the dock. I'll be on the box to fight off anyone who feels this cargo shouldn't be recovered." Barry snarled silently. "Let them try! Now, git!"

Kwan got.

As the minutes ticked by Barry amused herself by tying the two kidnappers to the top of the box. If anything went wrong, they'd pay the price of their evil. She went silent as she heard footsteps.

"Zo! Kinuke! If you're messing with my cargo, I'll skin you."

Barry grinned. It was going to be a full house.

* * *

Akane woke up that morning and roused Akari who was sleeping in her room. They went downstairs to find Genma and Soun engrossed in a news program on TV.

"A tramp steamer was rocked by an explosion early this morning, sinking in minutes beside its mooring." The TV announcer disappeared to show grainy footage of the vessel with only its superstructure above the water. "While the cause of the explosion is still in question, police have linked the owners of the ship to the Triad and the white slave trade." Footage of policemen and ambulances next to a shiny metal box, four by four by ten meters, flashed on the screen and medics moved unconscious forms from the box to the waiting emergency vehicles. "Girls, some as young as ten years of age, are believed to have been kidnapped from various parts of Tokyo over the past two weeks. Three individuals are presently in custody in connection with this case, including a senior port official." Three battered-looking men in handcuffs were shown being led to police cars.

"Wow!" said Akane, eyes wide. "To think that happened right near here." She shuddered. Akari shuddered with her.

"I hope they get what's coming to them," she said fiercely.

Loud squealing started outside. It sounded like it was in stereo. In front of the koi pond, P-chan faced off against P-chan II. They didn't seem to agree with one another. Akari ran forward.

"Ryoga!"

One pig slipped the rush of the other and bounded up into Akari's arms. It turned, stuck its tongue out and stretched down a lower eyelid. Akane laughed. Having two P-chans around could definitely make life interesting.

"Nabiki put Ryoga's pack in the hall closet, Akari," called out Kasumi.

"It's great that Ryoga's back," said Akane. "Where's Ranma? Didn't he come home last night?"

"His futon wasn't slept on this morning, Akane," said Genma yawning. "I am quite… (_yawn_) …concerned." He scratched himself and sipped some tea.

Akane felt her stomach sink. Ranma she wouldn't worry about. He was tough, savvy, smart and able to take care of himself. (Ranma would have face-faulted had he been aware of her thoughts.) Barry was an unknown. She feared what Barry might be doing with Ranma's body. "Ummm… He said he'd look for Ryoga. I guess he's still looking. Ha-ha!" 'Bar-ry!' she growled silently.

She heard the 'ching' of Shampoo's bicycle bell just outside the gate, followed by a cheery 'Nihau!' Then all three Chinese walked in, trailed by two strangers and Ranma — she meant Barry — in girl-type. Akane went white, then red.

"I ran into some trouble while I was lookin' for pig-boy—_urk_!"

"_Where have you been?_" Akane had her by the throat and shook her. "You _never_ came _home_ last night!" Barry choked as she was flung back and forth by each shake. The strange boy and girl had been shocked and the boy's brows pulled down as he slid a chain from around his waist.

"_Ack_! Wait, Akane! I can explain! Kwan, don't do anything stupid! This is Akane!" The boy stopped and put away the chain with a wry smile.

"Stupid? You mean, stupid like rescuing a bunch of strangers from Triad slavers?" the boy said blandly. Akane's shaking screeched to an abrupt halt. She stared into the redhead's eyes.

Barry shrugged. "What can I say? I wound up in a bad part of town and got distracted." As she spoke, Ryoga, restored to human form, and Akari returned, looking curiously at the visitors. "Hi, Ryoga. Glad ya made it back."

Ryoga's reply was delayed as he dodged a furious P-chan II, who was not fooled at all by the change of form. Ryoga jumped about trying to dislodge the pig from his ankle. His pack, which had been slung over his shoulder, went flying. Shampoo shimmied up beside Akane and looked her over coolly.

"Shampoo ready go when pervert-girl is," she said, looking from Akane to her grip on Barry. "Have nice-nice rest after airen come Nekohanten," she added stretching luxuriously.

"Now ya see what I hafta put up with, Mousse?" choked Barry, as Akane's grip tightened again. "I didn't get there till an hour ago and…" Mousse nodded in reply, only to be bopped by Cologne. She chuckled in appreciation to jibe and counter.

"While you children have fun with your search, I'll be escorting these two to their new home." She looked pointedly at Barry. "You never said how you found out about that Amazon law, son-in-law."

"What can I say, Granny," Barry replied. "I guessed. Yer people took in Jani-san when she was an orphan. You'd expect a tribe of women warriors, that got started because of abusive men, to have a law somewhere to protect girls on the run from somethin' similar."

"You're good, son-in-law," Cologne said with a grin. Akane released Barry who held out a hand to Kwan and Miki.

"You two watch yerselves. Kwan, I'll warn ya; yer not gonna fit in over there, but if ya can tough it out, no jackass Triad goonwill ever threaten Miki again. You'll also be outa reach of those bozos, if they ever learn yer part in this." She grinned and released their grips. "That keeps us safe, 'cause you're the only link between the docks and Ranma Saotome."

"We will be forever in your debt, beauteous one," Kwan said gallantly. Barry could tell he remembered the little act she'd put on before taking out the goons.

"Oh, jeez! You better watch it and get ready ta clear out, Kwan," Barry said embarrassed, "or Miki'll start takin' lessons from Akane." Kwan grinned nervously at the girl who was eyeing him critically.

"Come on, you two," grated Cologne. "We have to get your visas and the plane tickets."

"Yes, grandmother," Miki said. She grabbed Kwan by an ear. "Come along, you!"

Cologne chuckled. "You'll do just fine, dear."

Mousse looked sourly after the departing Elder and turned to Barry. "If I didn't have to look after the restaurant with Cologne out of town…" he grated, fist raised in threat to Soun. Barry patted him on the shoulder, gaining his attention.

"I got the best chaperones in the world, Mousse. Neither will let the other have me and I won't let them kill each other." Barry grinned wickedly. "Ya gotta learn how ta use yer environment, Mousse. It's one of the principle keys to battle." Mousse looked blank. "Ya know…'all's fair in love and war'!"

"That's what I'm afraid of, Saotome," he protested. Barry just laughed. He could remember a time when the girl he loved seemed to be drifting away and sympathized with the half-blind young man. If he got the chance later, he just might offer some advice. They jumped aside as Ryoga leaped past, cursing his namesake flapping from his trouser leg.

Nabiki came out finally and retrieved P-chan II. Still dressed in pajamas, she scratched her head and peered around at the family and assembled search party. She yawned. "Did I miss anything?" She was quite offended at the laughter.

Minutes later they were on their way.

Akari would see Ryoga got registered at Furinkan and start the rounds of the temple libraries that he and Barry had determined should be their first targets. They did have to take a side trip to the Unryu farm; a concept that even Soun could tell was not sitting well with Ryoga. Still, Ryoga shouldered his pack and followed Katsunishiki out the gate without complaint, followed by Ranma, Akane and Shampoo. Mousse trailed along accompanied by numerous complaints and soon combat could be heard in the street.

"Well, Kasumi, Nabiki; that went better than usual." Soun looked around the courtyard then peeked over the fence at the dojo. "Yes, everything spic-and-span and harmonious. It's not often we have Ranma, Shampoo, Mousse, Cologne, Ryoga and their friends over that it isn't a major disaster." He laughed almost maniacally. "I had forgotten what it was like to have peace and quiet. Why, I haven't known what to do with myself. Perhaps I should work up some projects…"

"You play Shogi or Go every day with Uncle Saotome," Nabiki pointed out. "When do you have time for work?"

"They were quite well behaved this time," Kasumi agreed. She had a frown on her face though. "Something is troubling Akane though."

"I wouldn't worry too much," drawled Nabiki. "She probably missed thumping Ranma last night. With Shampoo on the trip, she'll make up for it and be her usual chipper, maniac self."

"Nabiki," Kasumi disapproved.

"Sorry," the middle Tendo grinned. "Oh, well, I've got to get packed for the university. Tell our maniac sister when she gets back, to give me a call if she runs into trouble with the books."

"It will be good practice for her when she's running a household on her own," agreed Kasumi straightening her skirt and turning toward the house. "I hope you remember to call me sister, should you need advice on laundry or cooking." Nabiki smiled and grimaced.

"Not if I can help it." Nabiki retorted as they filed into the main room to finish breakfast. Kasumi opened the shoji to the garden.

"Oh, my!" Nabiki and Soun glanced at Kasumi then out toward the garden.

"Oooh!" groaned Soun. He began to weep.

"You spoke too soon, Daddy." Nabiki got up and left the table to pack. She had no intention of being sucked into this.

A Japanese ornamental garden is, if properly done, a balm to the soul and an aid to meditation and inner peace, quite simply, a joy to behold. Soun had worked many years perfecting his garden with its quiet little pond. While not perfect, it was very good; and even Ranma and Genma's frequent combats and dunkings had not disturbed it much. Soun and his family members and guests had enjoyed his little garden over the years.

Last night, Katsunishiki had enjoyed it as well.

"I think you've found your project, Father," Kasumi said shrugging. She followed Nabiki out of the room. She had far too much to do around the house to add this to her list. That work was going to get heavier anyway, when father started on the pond. She hoped the koi were all right, though.

Soun's garden and pond now more closely resembled a pig wallow. Soun sank to his knees in dejection.


	18. Visiting

**Guest Ki: Chapter 17**

_**Visiting**_

Barry, tired from the all-nighter he had pulled, thought he could get some sleep on the train. The initial problem was getting there.

Mousse, of course, was not fond of the idea of _his_ Shampoo going off into the wilds with Saotome. It took considerable convincing and no little violence to shoo him off in the direction of the Nekohanten. In the process, they relieved him of a kilometer of chain, a few dozen throwing knives, a couple of handfuls of explosive eggs, a double-ended naginata and that damn potty seat he seemed so fond of. The trio finally shouldered their packs and headed down the street toward the station.

Ryoga and Akari went their way at the gate. Barry had not been able to pull him aside to apprise him of the new situation and the Unryu farm was literally in the opposite direction. As they waved their good-byes, Ryoga turned a corner he shouldn't have, but was quickly run down and redirected by Akari. Somehow Barry was sure Ryoga would soon be lost again. Akari was a lovely girl, but there were a lot of problems they'd have to overcome to build a successful relationship. He sincerely believed that Ryoga's wandering was the least of those problems.

Barry took pains to stay between the two girls. Sometimes literally. No need to tempt fate. This resulted in Shampoo hanging on one arm and Akane, the other. Had it been Ranma, he would ordinarily have been hit, kicked, malleted or punted by now. Barry didn't elicit the same responses except under special circumstances; for example, a few extremely Ranma-esque insults. But Akane had changed in one particular way since Barry's arrival. She now considered herself to be part of the competition for Ranma. Barry found himself in an unenviable position.

"You realize you're just making it harder for Ranma to walk, don't you?" Akane sniped.

"Pervert-girl let go anytime!"

"I'm only holding on to steady him from your unbalancing influence!"

"Shampoo? Akane? Play nice or I'll make sure you both have something better to do!"

Akane face-faulted, but Shampoo grinned wickedly. "What?" she asked innocently, from beneath fluttering eyelashes.

"Not that!" he shouted, flustered.

"Ranma Saotome." The name was uttered as one would a curse. With loathing, as if some unspeakable slimy thing had been hauled from under a rock to create a foul stench. There were few of Ranma's enemies who would not wish him all the agonies of the netherworld, but this had the special edge unique to a particular individual.

"Hiya, Kuno," Barry said with false cheerfulness as he turned with the two girls. He had been so busy playing referee that he had not been paying even normal attention to his surroundings. As his eyes swept Ranma's oft-times adversary, he did a double take. Kuno? Dressed in a three-piece suit and without his 'toy sword'? The world must be ending. "Hey, nice duds, man," he added after he recovered. "What's the occasion?"

"I am not here to discuss my sartorial excellence with you, Saotome," the young man replied, affronted. "Indeed, what advice you might offer would be…"

Barry cut him off. He sought for Ranma's memories of how Kuno had been dealt with in the past. It was unlikely the kendoist would attack without his preferred weapon and with that in mind, his only other interest was two particular young ladies, both present, sort of, and neither of them a Chinese Amazon. "Never said I was an expert, freshman," Barry drawled.

"How dare you!" the young man snarled. "I graduated…"

"An' now yer a freshman, ain't ya? Or didn't ya make the cut for college?"

Kuno glared at him for a moment his lips working silently. "I have delayed my attendance in the halls of academia for personal reasons," he explained coldly. "But that bears little on my present concerns. Saotome!" He seemed convulsed by an inner struggle. "What are you to Akane Tendo?" the fruitcake shouted, pointing dramatically at the dark-haired girl beside Barry.

"I dunno. Akane, tell me," Barry said, looking sideways at the girl, "what do I look like?" Akane drew back blankly, wondering what he was up to. She had been concentrating on Kuno, almost hoping he'd make a grab for her and give her an excuse to try her new skills.

"Huh?" was her best response.

"No! No!" exclaimed Kuno. "Not… _Arrgh_! Saotome, I would smite thee had I the means at hand!" He turned his glare briefly at Shampoo who was having a bad case of giggles at his expense before refocusing on the pigtailed figure. "You spent weeks alone in the woods with Akane Tendo; deny it not! You mean to tell me that she is still unsullied?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact," Barry answered, eyes glinting dangerously. He knew just how hard it was from day to day for Ranma to control himself in order to keep Akane safe. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Akane go pale at the accusation. "Not everyone lives down to your standards, ronin-Kuno." Barry switched completely over to ki-sense to have a full hemisphere of awareness. This conversation was disintegrating. Sword or no sword, it looked like violence was going to be committed by someone.

"OHOhohohohohoho, ho-ho! I doubt he had much to tempt him, brother, dear." Kodachi arrived to stick her nose in the confrontation.

"Like you'd know, you fruitcake," muttered Akane.

"Oh, Ranma, I've been waiting for weeks and weeks and weeks to see you!" Barry recoiled. The girl's advent on the scene had stopped the march toward mayhem but was hardly a welcome interruption. The voice he recognized. Her ki signature was horrifying.

He switched back to normal vision to see Kodachi dressed in an attractive, form-fitting, black silk pants suit advancing toward him with an armload of black roses. To the eye she was delightful; slender, a striking face made more so by artful makeup, though far too sophisticated for someone only seventeen. To ki senses, however, she was a maelstrom of pain and hunger. Her ki was centered, though how he could not imagine. Its aura, though not perceptible to the naked eye, seemed to leak into her surroundings like a poisonous gas. Where its influence met another object the object became, at least temporarily, warped and chaotic from near contact. No wonder everyone felt creepy when she was around. She practically projected madness like a bio-weapon.

Barry shook his head in dismay. "My god Kodachi!" he exclaimed, though in a whisper. "Who or what has done this to you?"

The Black Rose heard him and halted. She looked down the length of her body and brought out a small mirror with a flick of her wrist. She patted her hair.

"Everything seems to be in place. Oh, Ranma!" she exclaimed suddenly. "You were simply having your little fun. Here! I have gifts for you and all your little friends." She flung the armful of roses with a simple economical swing of the arm.

He had been shocked the night before; that other influences could mask or confuse his ki-vision as it had near the docks. Now, Kodachi unintentionally had hidden the telltale signature of chemicals with her own ki. As they left her influence, he became aware of something nasty on the bouquet, but couldn't tell what. Barry, caught momentarily off guard, moved to intercept the roses. Neurotoxin of some type, he realized as some of the thorns scratched him. Clinically, he noted that ki-sight was not perfect.

He just had time to warn the others. "Something on the thorns! Don't touch!" His muscles locked and he dropped like a plank.

Akane moved in and threw a carefully calculated blow that rocked Kodachi sidewise. Shampoo moved in hands blurring. Kodachi hit the sidewalk with a new hairstyle. Akane's eyebrow perked up.

"Isn't that what you did to me? The amnesia shiatsu hairdo thingy?" she asked. Shampoo nodded keeping her eyes on the downed Kodachi. "By the way, why haven't you tried that again?"

"Special Amazon memory block technique." The Amazon glanced sidewise at Akane. "Only work once. Now Akane remember Ranma, can no use again." She smirked at the sprawled girl. "Should have done long time ago on hyena-girl."

Akane snickered at Shampoo's description of Kodachi — hyena-girl. With the enhanced perceptions she had gained from her training she now realized that Shampoo had not even needed Amiguriken to perform the maneuver.

"I guess we better take Ranma with us," she said, "And for yourinformation, Tatewaki Kuno, it is none of your business whether Ranma and I were doing anything! He is my fiancé…"

"Shampoo no think stick-boy hear pervert-girl."

Akane glared at Shampoo. She waved her hand before Kuno's eyes. There was no response. She noted a single scratch, as if from a thorn, on his neck. With a single finger, she gave bokken-boy a gentle shove. He fell backwards like a board and rattled on the sidewalk before coming to rest.

Akane cocked her head to one side then turned back to the Amazon. "Let's carry Ranma," she said, relieving the Blue Thunder of a shoe and using it to clear away Kodachi's flora. "No telling when he'll come out of it."

"Okay." Shampoo followed Akane's lead. She helped her strip off Barry's pack, which they dropped heavily in his lap. Then, linking hands under Ranma's back and legs, they stood up and carted him away. The looks they got at the station were interesting to say the least.

Japanese mass transit is popular, _very_ popular. They did not get seats right away and had to prop Barry up for the first three stops. In that time period, each girl absently fended off a dozen pinches and gropes. In that same period, since he was stiffened in a crouched position, Barry received a couple gropes of his own from a few female passengers, as well as two pummelings from matronly women who decided he was trying to look under girls' skirts. He could not avoid any of this and worse could feel it all due to the Black Rose's latest paralysis formula.

Desperately, he sought some solution. The first intimation his escorts had, was the sound of music playing from some unseen speaker. Akane looked around wondering where the radio was. She stared at the crouched boy in sudden understanding. "Barry!" she whispered warningly. A large woman who was still standing turned and looked affronted.

"What did you call me, girl?" she inquired frowning. "Did you call me '_beraboo_'? (Blockhead)

Before Akane could answer, Shampoo leaned across and smiled sweetly at the woman. "She no call you blockhead. She call boy blockhead! See?" She rapped Barry on the skull, producing a clopping sound. The music also stopped momentarily. The woman turned away again.

"Akane?" Shampoo whispered. "Where music come from?" Akane pointed to their fellow traveler. "How? Why?" Shampoo stared at Barry as if she were looking for an off switch.

"I think Ranma was trying for telepathy or something," she answered not being able to go into the details and therefore explain what had really been attempted. "He did this up in the woods, too."

"Wish airen play other music," she sighed. "This boring."

Barry wished he could groan. They didn't realize that he could still feel. He had an itchy nose yet could not gather sufficient control to even sneeze. He sought around the broadcast bands, finally coming up with an oldie that matched his message.

'Fee-lings… Nothing more than, fee-lings…'

"It getting worse," commented the Amazon. Barry tried again.

"When we're apart, it hurts me so-o…"

"Come on, Ranma," complained Akane, not getting it at all. "Let's have something with some beat if you're going to do that!"

"No! Shampoo want love song. Just not sappy love song!"

'God! They can be so dense,' Barry thought. Still, while he was searching for another musical hint, he accessed a station running what was called 'bubblegum' music over here. He hoped they'd be ready when they ran into Kodachi again. He suspected they'd have to be.

* * *

"Curse you, Sasuke! Why is my sister not in custody yet?" Kuno was slowly recovering from the paralytic he had encountered earlier. He scratched gingerly at the lump beneath the bandage on his head. "You should have captured her two weeks ago!"

"I am very sorry, Master Kuno. I can't understand how she manages to avoid my traps. I've nearly used up the roman-ji designations for my attempts." He considered a moment. "Perhaps I should have utilized hiragana instead?"

"Indeed!" Kuno glared at the little ninja. "As if that would have made a difference in the quality of your planning." He looked about the great central hall. It had been built not long after the Meji Restoration and was a mix of traditional and European architecture and furnishings. He had always been proud of its size and grandeur, but lately his pride had been ashes and all he felt was confusion.

"Sasuke, do you know where Saotome, Akane Tendo and that Chinese girl have gone?" Kuno stared out over the hall seemingly disassociated from his query. "They seemed to have left on a long trip and expected to do quite a bit of it on foot." Sasuke sprang immediately to the fore.

"Perhaps they are seeking the Kuonji girl?" he stammered. "The cook from the resort. Ranma has always had a soft spot for…"

"Do not speak to me of that demon's womanizing ways!" shouted the young man, tearing at his hair. "And he daredto call _me_ ronin! As if I could not enroll in any institution of higher learning I desired."

"Master!" Sasuke stood as tall as he could and, with shaking voice, spoke as if reciting a script. "You asked me to remind you that Saotome is not a demon, but simply a skilled martial artist that you disagree with; and that magic is not possible to a reasoning mind."

Kuno's face grew red with rage, which only slowly subsided with deep cleansing breaths. Finally, he said, "Thank you, Sasuke. Keep reminding me of that. It is in accordance with Dr. Hashibara's instructions. If I am to rebuild the Kuno reputation to match our financial status, I must indeed strive to be reasonable."

"I am happy to say whatever you like, Master."

Kuno shot Sasuke a suspicious look. "Your meaning escapes me."

"Everything escapes you, brother dear."

Kodachi Kuno slunk down the main staircase. Sasuke tried to fade into the woodwork as she shimmied up to her brother and regarded him covertly from behind a fan. She seemed to like the hairstyle Shampoo had given her and it complimented her new gown.

"My twisted sister," he bowed. "You look well despite being laid low by a common Chinese kitchen girl."

"Indeed?" she murmured. "The incident you mention seems to escape me." She swayed past her brother and said as she passed, "Did you enjoy my new paralytic, Tachi?"

"I always enjoy experiencing new tortures at your hands, sister," Kuno replied dryly. "It is an exceptional condition to desire to relieve an itch yet be unable to so much as shift position to accommodate act to need. Are you planning on joining us for dinner?" She sashayed to the door leading toward the dining room.

"Would you sit at table with me if I did?"

"Provided you did not touch any food served at my place."

"OHOHOHOHOHOHohohohohoho," Kodachi laughed and hid disarmingly behind her fan. Sasuke fell to his knees holding his ears and tripped a hidden switch.

A two hundred year old harquebus swung and explosively discharged in Kodachi's direction. Nets festooned with sticky strands spread to envelop the woman.

She was no longer there. The nets struck instead a rack bearing samurai armor from the Tokugawa Shogunate and plastered it wetly to a wall. Kodachi finished her aerial flip and landed lightly on her feet.

"Why, Sasuke, I'm impressed. You've been so inventive in entertaining me since I returned home." She tossed him a single black rose, which he caught automatically. Sasuke did a good imitation of a plank.

"You didn't imagine I would be taken off guard by your attempts to institutionalize me, did you?" she said, silkily.

Kuno shuddered. "Now that Sasuke is _hors de combat_, who shall serve us, mad one?" Kuno looked with displeasure at his still-standing sister.

"I expect I will, brother dear," she answered merrily.

"Then I shall break my fast elsewhere."

"Poor, dear brother," Kodachi said with poisonous pleasure, "once again you dine alone. Has Akane Tendo fled to the arms of another?"

"Be silent, sister."

"Can you not find the pigtailed goddess I hear you moan for in your sleep?"

"Dachi!" Kuno's eyes narrowed and in his personal torment he struck as keenly as he could. "Do you remember the foul sorcerer who beckons to you? Or does his name escape you as easily as did your defeat earlier today?"

"Fear not, brother dear," she gloated back. "It will take considerably more than chemically augmented hypnosis to make me forget my Ranma-darling."

Tatewaki Kuno's jaw clenched in rage. As one sibling stamped out, the other's shrill mad laughter echoed through the enormous empty halls of the House of Kuno.

* * *

And somewhere south and west of Tokyo:

"Ryoga? Ry-OOOO-Ga! Where are you?" A huge pig commiserated with its owner as she wept tears of frustration.

* * *

And somewhere far north of Tokyo:

"Is Ranma better now?"

"I'm fine, Shampoo. Now are ya checkin' the edges? We want to find where Ukyo went off the road." Barry caught her hand and restrained it from its southward path.

Shampoo snuggled up against the lithely muscular form of Ranma Saotome as they marched down the road from the resort. That Ranma's spirit was in hiding or gone, replaced by the spirit of a happily married, American horse trainer was a fact of which she was unaware.

On the other side of the young man was a dark-haired beauty glaring daggers at them both. Had Ranma Saotome been present instead of Barry Barlowe, serious pummeling would have ensued long before. Akane was in a bit of a quandary. She was having difficulty competing with Shampoo over Barry, yet refusal to compete risked giving the Amazon the impression she had a clear field with Ranma.

Barry was beginning to reach the end of what he believed to be an abnormally long fuse. Ranma's body was as hormone-laden as that of any teenage boy. Barry's mind and habits of late, unlike Ranma's, had not been disciplined to abstinence from... certain activities. He had been married almost ten years and now he had a pretty young woman playing sex kitten. He had few options he could exercise to make her stop. All he could do was chant his wife's name under his breath over and over again like a mantra to remind him of where his loyalties lay… (Bad choice of phrase, that.) …uh, what they were.

Akane gradually stopped competing with the Amazon; her knowledge that this was not, in fact, Ranma interfered with her competitive spirit. Barry didn't want her duplicating Shampoo's tactics (God, no!), but would have appreciated it if her rival were kept more distracted by Akane's barbs. Shampoo was less likely to grope if her mind was busy countering Akane's insults.

"We not there yet," she answered pouting as she removed her hand from his grip. "Remember old man say she on road still at bend. Bend coming up soon. Then we search." She snuggled again. "Till then…" (BAM!)

Akane launched Barry ahead to where the bend began. She stepped back, smirked at the fuming Shampoo and set off merrily along the road. The Amazon was forced to follow muttering under her breath.

Barry picked himself up off the road. That had been a painful but welcome interruption. He could understand why Ranma put up with Akane's violence. It helped him avoid embarrassment and all sorts of other complications. Akane reached him first.

"Thanks, tomboy," he muttered. She gave him a look that said he was crazy. "If a cold shower is unavailable depend on Akane to provide." The look she gave him said instantly that she had taken his words totally the wrong way. 'Damn!' Now she was going to mope along imagining he had accused her of being totally un-sexy and there was no way to correct the misunderstanding with Shampoo coming up.

"Okay," he said defeated for the moment. "Now let's set up our search pattern."

"No need," said Shampoo matter-of-factly. "Only one place spatula-girl get off road without crawling through bushes." She pointed. "There; trail on left thirty meter down road."

"Why didn't ya tell us on the way up?" snarled Barry frazzled by how the trip had gone thus far.

"Not hear before how far people see spatula-girl come down road. Not know what best place to look. Maybe spatula-girl go all the way down get on train, get lost later! How Shampoo know how spatula-girl think!" She started crying. Akane glared daggers at him.

Barry had no idea whether this was an act or serious emotion. What he did know was that he had jumped the gun and let his temper get the better of him. This wasn't his day. If it had been up to him, he would have taken a moment to assure Akane what he meant earlier. If it were up to him, he would hold the sobbing girl till the tears subsided. If it were up to him, Ranma would be here instead of him. Both choices would be out of character for Ranma and dangerous given the girls' opposing goals. After searching for an appropriate response, he settled for hovering an arm's length away and trying to comfort long distance.

"Aw, c'mon, Shampoo! I-I didn't mean it. I'm just worried 'bout Ucchan… C'mon, don't cry! Shampoo-OO!" She turned and lunged into a glomp anyway, forcing him to push her away or accept it passively. As Akane's face went dark again, he wiggled his eyebrows rapidly and mouthed 'HELP!' at her.

Akane's face twisted alarmingly giving Barry a bad scare before he realized she was trying not to laugh. "Shampoo," Akane asked in a conversational tone. "What would Cologne say if she saw you crying like an ordinary girl?"

"She say, 'Good job get Ranma hold Shampoo', pervert-girl."

"Grrr!"

"On that note let's get moving down the trail," Barry suggested. "We've got to keep moving. C'mon keep moving. Akane, let's keep moving!"

Once they began tracking, Shampoo's pride in her skill kept the distractions at a minimum. Barry found that between Ranma's experience and his own training from scouting that he could pick up some of the signs once Shampoo pointed out what to look for. Akane, unfortunately, felt like a fifth wheel.

They quickly found where Ukyo had spent her first night. At one point, her trail passed only fifty meters below the road that led to the town. Her track wandered drunkenly but tended to spiral counter-clockwise. They began using a strange technique that neither Barry or Ranma had ever seen before; as one tracker followed the immediate trail, the other would range out ahead trying to cut the trail as much as a hundred meters further on, leapfrogging large sections of meandering tracks. Even for three hard-trained martial artists, it was exhausting work. On the plus side, by day's end, Akane was beginning to pick up the rudiments of tracking.

Akane offered to cook, soliciting severe criticism from Shampoo. Barry felt the need to support Akane in this instance, but reminded her of the camp rules they had set at the lake. She managed to produce a savory chowder that even Shampoo admitted was better than merely edible.

After dinner, Barry made Shampoo sleep in the tent, claiming that she would cause all sorts of trouble if it rained and she turned cat. He also hoped this would reduce the chance of having her crawl in with him. As they settled down, he found he couldn't sleep, so he sat cross-legged and called forth his ki to investigate further the medium that defined him and might be the key to restoring his host.

Mere seconds later, a pinpoint of light danced between his open palms. This was the simplest manifestation. He had found that ki was undetectable to the unaided eye. Ki manifestations, either as an aura or a point source, were detectable only through how they, in turn, affected available electromagnetic or alternate energy forms.

When Ranma or Ryoga, or Barry in this instance, performed their trademark ki-blasts, they spun the manifestation of ki into a ball that interacted with electromagnetic energy, hence the visible aspect. Typically, as they fired it off, they formed a 'similar charge' at the surface of their hands, repelling the ki and aiming it as best they could in the direction they wanted it to go. Barry had been certain they did not lose the ki 'projected' this way and had originally thought they were firing balls of plasma. Even the new techniques hadn't really shaken that impression.

Ranma's disappearance had shaken him. If ki techniques didn't lose ki then Ranma wasn't gone. Hidden, maybe, but not gone. But Barry was also trained in scientific method. The answer might be other than what he expected. After all; Barry was here, Ranma might be 'gone' somewhere else. If so, their quest was not a search, so much as a recovery operation, requiring methods of locating, contacting and reattaching Ranma to his body. But the key to it all, still seemed to be ki. He focused, hoping to achieve better understanding.

With a flick, he sent the baseball-size globe of energy into the night sky. Barry felt for his ki focused in his hand and altered it slightly, yang to yin, to become attractive to the energy he had released. High in the night sky, a dimming star suddenly swelled and raced toward him. He changed his ki again and repulsed the sphere, which went crackling off among the trees. Dissatisfied, he repeated the experiment until he had the sphere of energy moving back and forth in the air like an insane yo-yo.

He became aware of the two young women watching him covetously and not because he wore Ranma's body.

"You did say you would teach me some ki-techniques," Akane reminded him. They both flinched. Ranma had promised…

"But I…" The problem was that Ranma had not decided what to teach Akane. Barry did not want to step on Ranma's toes or set up a situation where the young man was put in competition with himself. Especially since this was a field where, because of his special nature in this world, Barry just might excel Ranma. He blinked a thought forming.

"All right," he said distantly. He looked over to where Shampoo lay on her bedroll in the tent. "You interested, too?" He flinched as he felt Akane look daggers at him.

Shampoo sighed. "Shampoo no can do ki-techniques. Shampoo only use ki in body and etheric way. Okay for self-power; help jump, help hit harder, faster, help heal fast. But Grandmother say Shampoo never fight like airen with ki."

Barry frowned. That was surprising. He couldn't imagine how that could come to pass. Ki was… ki; at least in terms of himself. Of course, he also had no idea what she meant by etheric either. Still, as a girl, she should actually find it much easier to manipulate her ki. It was harder for a girl to project yang ki than it was for a male but that didn't matter so much with respect to emotion driven techniques like the Mouko Takabisha or the Shishi Houkudan.

"It's the same gag as that crying earlier," hissed Akane, kneeling down beside him. "Don't pay any attention to her."

Shampoo sniffed derisively but did not move from the tent.

"Okay," Barry said feeling very much in the middle. "Lotus position, Akane. Cleansing breaths, re-laaaaaax! Breeeee-eathe. That's right. Cup your hands in front of you and bring them together. Imagine there is something in the hollow between your hands. Feel it roll gently as you move your hands a little up and down… left and right… feel that something begin to grow like a flower opening from a bud…"

Shampoo watched with increasing jealousy as Akane slowly became entranced by the murmur of Ranma's voice. Was it her imagination or did Ranma sound more mature and better spoken as he taught? And he had offered to teach her, something he had never done before. She wondered how Ranma would differ in teaching technique from her grandmother. She had to admit she liked listening to his voice better… With a yawn, she drifted off to sleep.

Every time Akane began to give into her frustration Barry would sense it, call a break and discuss what she had done and how she might improve. It was so very different from how Ranma taught her at the lake that the lack of progress was beginning to aggravate her.

"By the way," Barry whispered conversationally. "Shampoo's asleep, so I want to apologize for how I sounded back there on the road." Akane sat there blinking, trying to make what he was saying fit in with the ki training she was attempting. She had forgotten the incident, shoved it aside as she had so many of Ranma's insults. His words had no meaning to her. "What I said about the 'cold shower'?" Remembering, she flushed anew in anger at the unjust words. As she sought for the proper response, he took the wind out of her sails. "What I meant was that you knew how to get me back on track and you had your priorities straight," he chuckled quietly. "You're a very special lady, Akane, and don't you ever forget it."

In a way, it was a tiny epiphany for her. She had been sure he meant that she was horrible enough to… But he really meant… Did that mean Ranma…?

As she pondered, he shifted on his seat and was suddenly all business again. "Now most of the ki techniques you're familiar with are fueled by emotion. But emotion can be undirected and distracting. And dangerous, by the way, if what Ranma told me was right. The Mouko Takabisha uses focused confidence or, if it amuses you, arrogance which Ranma has in abundance. Ryoga uses depression for his Shishi Houkudan, which I can't believe is very healthy for him. Ranma and Ryoga's ki-techniques are powered by one particular layer or aspect of their aura. What I see when I'm using my ki-vision, are seven distinct and complicated layers that are separate from yet give support to, the others…" Barry drifted off, thoughtful. "If we ever have time to sit down and study…" He paused again. Study…

"I'm confused." Akane grumbled impatiently.

"Right!" Barry agreed, coming back to the matter at hand. He had the glimmerings of an idea, but wasn't ready to voice it, yet. "So let's ignore all that and simply help you feel your own aura and ki for now."

They kept it up for an hour, till both were yawning like mad.

"I'm just not getting it," Akane whined, depressed.

"Okay," Barry yawned, jaw cracking. "Give me your hands a second."

"What?"

"Your hands." He reached out, captured them and turned them palm up with his own hands beneath. "Now, calming breaths…"

She started to and it turned into a yawn, but finally she got a rhythm going. She felt her eyelids droop as the calm murmur soothed her. Almost, she dropped off to sleep.

There was a tiny spark of light between her hands. She stared awed, almost forgetting to breathe. She suddenly realized that Barry wasn't even there. He was rolled up in his sleeping bag as if nothing was happening. She felt like kicking him. Darn it! Wasn't someone going to wake up and notice this? Anybody? She was so-o-o tired…!

* * *

"Pervert-girl sleep funny!"

Akane awoke with a snort. She had fallen asleep in the lotus position and had folded over like some strange origami. She was horrendously tired and stiff and her legs were asleep. She had rarely felt so miserable in her life. She groaned and looked daggers at the chipper Shampoo who was preparing breakfast.

Suddenly she jerked upright, alert and wondering. Had she really done it? She tried to settle back in a relaxed posture but suddenly had a muscle cramp from being in one position too long. She groaned again in real pain now and tried to straighten her legs.

Barry was beginning to wake up. He suddenly felt breathless for some reason. Something was blocking his…!

"PHYAMPU! GEFOFF!" He thrashed sending the Amazon flying away from the lip-lock she had initiated. "Don't do that! I couldn't breathe!"

Shampoo managed (barely) to look hurt, a difficult proposition when she was also openly gloating at Akane who looked as if someone had turned her into the human pretzel. Barry wiped his mouth with the back of a hand as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing.

"What happened to you, tomboy?"

"GRRR! Why'd you let her kiss you?" she snarled at him.

"I was asleep?"

"That's no excuse! What if she… What if she…"

"Yes?" He was a little puzzled by where this was going. Shampoo was apparently not at fault for Akane's condition. As for the kiss, he didn't know what Akane was upset about. Shampoo was a lousy, definitely inexperienced, kisser. Oh, she knew all the visual cues that women use to gain a man's attention, but it was obvious from that single contact that she was far less experienced than most women her age. Only practice would cure that; with an unresponsive Ranma as her target she was unlikely to improve anytime soon.

"Well… you know!" Akane finished, blushing.

Barry raised an eyebrow. Maybe it was too early yet, but he wasn't connecting. He held out a hand and helped her to slowly straighten up and grimaced when she couldn't.

"Down on yer stomach," he commanded. "Over there on the bedroll."

Hissing in pain, she complied. Beginning at the nape of her neck, he began to knead the muscles down along her spine. "How'd ya get in this mess, Akane? I thought ya was headin' off ta bed."

"I got it!" she grunted as he hit a particularly sore spot. "I saw the spark! HHHhhhah!"

"Sorry." He probed more gently at the knot behind her shoulder. "That's great. It should be easier…" A pair of legs planted themselves with some authority just in front of them. Barry looked up.

"What you do?" Shampoo looked belligerent.

"I'm massaging her muscles, Shampoo. I think she fell asleep practicin' callin' out her ki." Shampoo continued to stand there glaring. "Shampoo, ya ain't my wife! And if my wife was gonna complain because I was helpin' someone hurtin', I'd give 'er an earful! So back off!

(SPLOOSH!)

"Oh, that was mature!" Barry was a petite redhead once more. "I have half a mind to return the favor."

"Won't!" Shampoo said smugly, turning away with a saucy swing of her hips. She knew Ranma feared her cat form.

Barry didn't though. It was a true effort not to get up and dump the remaining cold water in the canteen over her head. Teeth grinding, Barry got back to the business of working out the knots and soothing the strained muscles in Akane's body.

They broke camp after a hurried breakfast and started out again. Barry remained in girl-type, which seemed to discourage Shampoo from overt attentions. Once again her pride in her skills overcame her desire to flirt and torment and they followed the tortuous path of the missing girl. They stopped briefly for a midday meal and Barry listened to Shampoo explaining why it was more reasonable that she return to boy-type. She had several good reasons.

Barry didn't change though. She had far less trouble with either girl, AS a girl. Her pack wasn't that heavy, after all. At the rate they were going she believed they were gaining a day on Ukyo for each day they were on the trail. Provided she didn't run into civilization and rescue herself, they'd catch up with her in just a couple more days.

* * *

Ryoga trudged through the woods. He hadn't meant to get lost; but there you were. He never meant to get lost. As he walked along he absently ran his hand over his bamboo umbrella. He could feel the ki flow from his body to the innocent looking tool.

He had been amused by Barry's theory that their ki techniques were not, literally, ki techniques at all. Perhaps Barry was correct with respect to Ranma's techniques, but Ryoga's own were quite different. Perhaps that was why he had been so hesitant to allow Barry to read him and offer advice.

His umbrella, for example. A lot of people suspected he lined the thing with steel plate. The reality was quite different. He soaked it in the energy of his body, his own ki. The result was a weapon that in his hands weighed no more than one or two kilograms but, in terms of inertia, was equivalent to over one hundred kilograms with respect to anything and anyone else.

Most weapons he had contempt for. If disarmed, your own sword, gun, club, what-have-you could be turned against its owner. His was a truly personalized weapon that only he could use. His bandannas and belt were much the same. Out of his hands, they were useless bits of cloth and leather. Unlike the umbrella, he charged them as needed, however.

He was so involved in his musing that he didn't see the obstacle until he had tripped over it. He hit the ground hard and rolled, bringing the umbrella up defensively. No one attacked. He sat up and looked around. A glint in the leaves allowed him to discover his attacker, a length of shiny steel bound with leather strips. Curious now, he pulled on it, but found it was tangled in the brush and roots of the trees he had passed between.

When he finally freed it he found he was looking at one of a mega-spatula like Ukyo Kuonji's. Whistling, he spun it like a baton and examined it for damage. He had been on the receiving end of one of these more than a few times. To his eye, it was straight and true and only a little dirty. He figured it was made of stainless steel to be so unaffected by the elements. A meter and a half in length and the paddle nearly a square meter in surface area, it was a heavy and powerful weapon.

If he found himself back in Nerima, he'd stop in at Ucchan's and see if it was hers. He slid it onto his pack where he stowed his umbrella and set off again. Briefly he wondered if Ukyo had some trick for lightening the heft of her weapon. Oh, well. If she did, it would be a technique sealed to her okonomiyaki_-_style martial arts.

Whistling tunelessly, he wandered on, intent on bringing his umbrella back up to the standards he expected of his main weapon.

A few hours later he came to a clearing. Looking up at the sky, he determined that there were still a few hours till nightfall, but the place was so perfect he decided to pitch camp early and make a hot meal. He made a fire and set up a hefty crossbar of green wood to hang his pots from. From his pack, he drew out a thermos. Opening its pop-top, he sipped briefly at the water inside.

He made a face. The water was only tepid. He doubted it would change him back in an emergency. He emptied that thermos and another into a pot, put a lid on it, and checked what he had for cooking.

Into a second pot, he poured cold water from his water sack and when it was boiling, dropped in two bouillon cubes and a handful of noodles. He refilled his thermoses and set that pot aside to cool.

He wondered where he was. It didn't matter really. He'd ask when he ran into someone. When his beef noodle soup was ready, he poured himself a mug and leaned back to think and eat. He had a lot on his mind lately. Akari, of course. She had tried to change herself for him once before, when she attempted to learn to hate pigs. He had tried more recently to learn to like pig farming. Neither had worked. What came next was anyone's guess.

Maybe he could finish his schooling. His house was on the border of the Furinkan district. Ranma might be willing to help him get to classes like he had at the all-boys school. If Barry was around for a while, he might see about his style of ki attacks. They looked interesting and it wouldn't do to let Ranma think he was gaining ground on his former rival. He had too swelled a head as it was.

Movement in the underbrush caught his attention. It was noisy whatever it was. He stood up quickly but silently. It was either clumsy or big. When in doubt you worked with the worst case. It charged out of the bushes and rushed aggressively to the center of the clearing. Wild looking, in tattered clothes, it appeared to be part of the forest come to life. Its wild cry echoed in the long shadows of the oncoming night.

"_Where the hell am I_?"

Ryoga couldn't help a snort of surprise at the words he had so often screamed at the sky himself. The figure turned snarling and feral. It had heard him. As he set himself for possible combat something familiar made him look again.

"Ukyo? Is that you?"

Tattered, starving, Ukyo took three staggering steps toward Ryoga, staring madly as if seeing a ghost. He caught her as she swooned. She wasn't totally unconscious, however. He heard her mutter savagely, "Of all the people in the world, I find the one guy who's more lost than me!"

"You're welcome," he replied sarcastically. He picked her up and gently moved her over to the fire. "Want some soup?"

She had nothing further to say.

* * *

Ranma looked up at the roof of the riding arena for the second time in five minutes. His thoughts were a whirl of panic, embarrassment, anger and frustration. Buddy, the horse, nuzzled him again. Two jumps, a twist and a stagger-step had been followed by a half spin. Panicked by the cats, Ranma had been unable to adjust. The result had been Barry's body biting the dust again.

"You don' look too goot," Bob said riding by. Ranma groaned and slowly staggered to his feet. Flipping the reins back over the horse's head, he prepared to mount again. He hissed as the first attempt to get his foot in the stirrup failed by several handspans.

"Barry!" Bob's voice snapped with command. "That's enough for today. You jus' get t'rown again, you get on him now."

Barry's employer rode over to the phone and used the intercom to call his daughter to come retrieve Buddy and take him down. Then, he made a phone call. "Yah! You come pick him up before he really hurts himself. He won't stop trying…" Bob laughed as he hung up.

Alexia walked into the arena and took Buddy from him. "Bob, I can take care of…"

"Oh, shut up, Barry," Alexia said acidly. A tall, blond girl, Barry's memories revealed an almost Nabiki-like personality. "Anyone can see you're hurt. It isn't like this is a life and death battle." She took the reins back over the horse's head and prepared to lead him away. "Even Daddy had to take it easy after a horse threw him into a wall a few years ago. You don't have to play macho for anyone here."

"As your employer, I insist you go down and wait for your ride, Barry," Bob added. "She'll be here soon. Take tomorrow off if you need to."

Ranma grumbled and nodded. It felt like a defeat. "You haven't heard the last of me, Buddy," he told the horse as he turned away. He moved to leave the arena, stopping as some cats plumped down in the entrance. "Uh… Alexia?" He hoped his voice didn't sound funny. "Why don't you go ahead of me? I'm going to be taking it slow, anyway."

"All right." She led the way, with Barry trailing a good twenty meters back. As he expected, the cats moved quickly out of the way of the large animal. He followed, evaluating Barry's body in terms of condition, strength, speed and ki ability. Slowly, he lurched down the hill toward the barn.

Conditioning and strength were quite acceptable. Despite Barry's own opinion of himself, they verged on the exceptional. Like Ryoga, Barry's body had been developed along the lines of power and endurance. There was definitely room for improvement in the speed department though. Barry had never competed or experienced training to enhance that facet of his abilities. Horses were not, in his opinion, adequate tests of a warrior's speed.

Stiffly he settled down on the rock beside the main entrance. There were no cats in sight, for which he was grateful. If only this body had the healing abilities… Wait!

The healing ability hadn't been natural to him either. He had acquired it through the patient training of a monk at one of the temples he and his old man had stayed at early on. It had been a mind-game to the six year old, a game of meditation and exclusion, until he found his center and…

Ranma grinned tightly. No time like the present. Besides, until he figured out how he got here, he had nothing better to do.


	19. Roughing It

**Guest Ki: Chapter 18**

_**Roughing It**_

There were amazing advantages to being a girl, Barry reminded hereslf. Ice cream tasted better, the sense of touch was heightened and reaction time was superior. But the _best_ reason was that Shampoo didn't molest Ranma-girl the way she did Ranma-boy. That was an important criterion, after all. The sooner they got back to civilization and their quest for Ranma the better! The longer they searched for Ukyo, the longer it would be before they could find a way to wake up or bring back Ranma and the longer it would be for Barry to return to his wife and son. Ranma lived his life in interesting times and Barry was _sick of it. _

He missed his wife terribly. Shampoo, presently scouting ahead, only sharpened his desire to return to her. The Amazon was, in Barry's present opinion, an obnoxiously over-sexed, exotic little brat aping what she believed to be womanly characteristics, a little girl playing dress-up with the wrong role model. It was with difficulty that he refrained enlightening her on this observation. But he was now a she and the violet-haired, violent girl had reduced her verbal seductions and innuendoes to a more tolerable level.

Akane, who followed behind Barry, was also a problem though for different reasons. When Ranma first met Akane, he had seen her fire and her enthusiasm for the Art in the sparring match they had when he first arrived. Ranma had been heart-broken at her rejection of him as a boy, and most of his actions since then had been attempts to get her to value him for himself. Had he been raised in a more normal atmosphere, he might have understood his feelings sooner. Only lately had Ranma and Akane begun to show one another how they really felt.

But Barry Barlowe, of the gaijin spirit from another dimension, had gotten in the way, and due to the Cat-Fist and unusual stresses, Ranma seemed to be missing from his own body. Akane was well aware of the circumstances, and while she provisionally trusted Ranma's Guest, his presence in her fiancé's place translated into a sullen withdrawal that gave her Amazon rival a free field, which Shampoo gleefully exploited. Barry was afraid Akane would talk herself out of Ranma. That would be a disaster for his host and the girl. He wasn't about to let that happen. Well, presently she wasn't about to let that happen.

"This way, airen!"

Whoops! Ukyo had taken a hard jog to the left this time. Shampoo waited for them to catch up and sped off again. As the better tracker, she cut the trails and they carried her pack, which was fair enough. At the last camp, they had been near a small pool in the forest and Shampoo had offered Barry a bar of soap she was carrying.

"Is waterproof soap. Let airen be man even if wet and keep Shampoo from turning cat so not make Ranma go Nekoken." She leaned against the redhead and rubbed the side of her breast against an available arm.

Barry jerked away. "You mean I've been jumpin' every time you got near cold water for nothing?" she screeched, vexed, glad for an excuse to bawl the little minx out. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"So sorry," she said, chipper, not sounding sorry at all. "Want soap?"

"I'll pass. You just make sure you use enough of that stuff that you don't go c-c-ca-cat!" Barry was quite pleased with her acting.

Shampoo had pouted and turned away, missing the curiosity in Barry's eyes. Ranma's memories of any cat were colored by his ailurophobia. Barry, not afraid of cats at all, was a little curious as to what Shampoo-cat really looked like. He suspected that Ranma's memories of a purple and white fanged monster were somewhat inaccurate.

This night rain threatened. They quickly set up the tent and got their equipment under cover. It was tight but the three had enough room to sleep packed elbow to elbow. Shampoo insisted, over Akane's objections, that she wanted Ranma in the middle and insinuated it was to protect her from 'pervert-girl'. They quickly built a fire and Shampoo cooked a hurried dinner. Barry suspected that Shampoo squirreled away some hot water for the evening's entertainment. As the rain began to fall, the three girls wedged themselves into their bedrolls.

The rain was very soothing but Barry could not sleep. Even without Shampoo's warm body pressing against her back, (Akane had jammed herself against her pack with her knees partly drawn up, keeping some distance) she avoided the dreams that had so often come. In the occasional flash of lightning, she saw that Akane could not sleep either. Her eyes were open but not focused on anything in particular and tracks of tears glistened in the uncertain light. She watched Akane become aware of her scrutiny and close her eyes, the only privacy she had in the tent's confines. Not much later, she became aware of a slow, steady shift in Shampoo's posture.

Something warm seemed to soothe the base of her skull near the pigtail. His skull, rather. Shampoo _had _gotten some hot water. He saw Akane's eyes open and then close to slits as she watched the Amazon's strategy. Muscles jumped along her jaw. Barry read the distinct possibility of murder being committed. He doubted Shampoo actually expected to accomplish anything with this stunt aside from having a male Ranma to sleep beside. After all, they were all fully dressed; but he felt the need to act before Akane did.

With a sigh he shifted, letting an arm slip through the tent slit and out into the rain. Hair reddened, a human form shifted, shrank and Shampoo grimaced and sighed in frustration. She waited to see if Ranma woke up and after a significant period of time, reached out to shift the Ranma's arm away from the tent opening. Again warm water trickled past an ear and Barry felt the Jusenkyo curse release.

He pretended to come partly awake this time, muttering about a leak in the tent and turned, stretching, arching his back. Coincidentally, this sent both arms out the flap and turned the male profile decidedly (and disappointingly from Shampoo's viewpoint) into the familiar female outline of Ranma girl-type.

Shampoo flopped down in disgust as Barry turned her head towards Akane and winked. A sudden snort was the dark-haired girl's only break of control. Barry suspected that the rest of the night should be without incident. She was wrong.

Shampoo was on her knees suddenly. Above the loud pounding of the rain a different rumble could be heard. It was not an alarming sound to Barry. He had grown up in the gently rolling hills of the eastern U.S. and streams during rain like this, often roared like a fury as they carried away the run-off. Shampoo's tension was not immediately comprehensible to her. Akane's eyes came open and she silently listened to the sound, which was growing steadily louder.

"Airen! Must go! Now!" Shampoo suddenly said. She ducked out of the tent like a ghost. Alarmed, Barry grabbed Akane by the arm and yanked her out of the shelter.

"Avalanche!" they shouted, almost in unison.

Under their feet, they could feel the tremble of the mountain. Dodging a slide, especially one as big as this seemed, was not going to be easy in the dark. Barry switched to the ki-vision, which had served him so well at Himamashi's Bar. She reached out and latched onto Shampoo, not wishing to be separated while the path to safety was unclear.

Unfortunately to her ki-vision there was no path to safety. The organized ghostly images of ki emitted by the trees uphill was rapidly being replaced by a wall bright, loose energy as the avalanche chewed up the life it encountered. It looked like the entire mountain face was falling towards them. The small rise on which they pitched the tent was no barrier to this monster. It was however, an indication of a feature Barry might use to their advantage. Barry searched under the earth and found the rise was the result of a deeply anchored spur of rock jutting out of the mountain. Weighing as much as a small city, its peak should be a strong enough anchor for the refuge she contemplated. She gathered her companions, holding them close.

"I'm gonna try something new! Cross yer fingers!"

"How many fingers Shampoo have to cross?" Shampoo screamed back. She was frankly terrified. Dying this way was not a warrior's death; she would never be recalled to her family in the ancestral rites. She would probably end up as some yearning spirit molesting passers-by on the rare occasions anyone ventured to this mountainside. Wonderful! With all this water, her special soap wouldn't hold up either and she'd end up a female version of the ghost cat, Mao Mu Lin.

They could all see the moving line of destruction now, mud and rock smashing and pushing over trees that had stood for centuries. Akane watched Barry set herself and focus intently, her aura gleaming like phosphorous in the downpour. She watched as a plane of energy seemed to thrust up from within the little rise they stood upon and guessed it must be some form of the shield Ranma had devised as armor, anchored to the immovable rock far below. The dozen heartbeats before the slide reached them seemed an eternity. Akane clung tightly to the redhead's waist and wished over and over again that the real Ranma were there.

The front struck. A tearing groan escaped the redhead's throat as irresistible force met immovable object. Each rock, boulder and tree was keenly felt as it glanced aside or shattered against the ki-based obstruction. Akane and Shampoo stared across her back at the maelstrom that surged about them. Beneath their feet, wet earth was churned to a sucking torrent as turbulence turned the dirt to liquid mud.

Barry felt her shield slip on the hidden spur. Desperately she reshaped the shield in an attempt to reduce the force she had to withstand. When Akane's feet started to slip, she anchored the girl to the shield itself. Before she could do the same to Shampoo, the Amazon slipped and was torn away by a wildly rotating tree branch.

Barry was so deep in her concentration that she felt nothing except resolve. A hand snapped out as a ribbon of light arced after the vanished girl targeted on the ki of her life force. At the same time, the shield was released from the mountain's roots and modified yet again to skip and slide like a surfboard upon the surface of the debris-field. Barry had done this once before to escape Ryoga's ki-blast but had been unable to duplicate until now.

The ribbon found its target and snapped back. A limp, muddy cat hurtled to waiting arms. "Hold her, Akane!" Barry deposited the cat in the other girl's arms, and scooped them both into a cradle hold, curling her body around them, even as she molded the shield one last time. Within a ball of force, three intelligent beings were swept down the mountain in the tailing edges of the massive slide.

* * *

Near the mountain's upper reaches, an irritable Ukyo Kuonji harangued an equally irritated Ryoga Hibiki about the weather, their surroundings and his conduct. "Did you hear that?" she shouted. "It sounded like an explosion!" Ryoga was singularly unresponsive. If it didn't kill him or dump his tent, he was willing to sleep through almost anything. Earlier that day, Ukyo stumbled into his campsite after wandering lost for days. He found her singularly ungrateful for her rescue, though of course she wasn't 'out of the woods' yet.

"Gazzzz! Jus' a avalanche… Happens alla time in mountains." He mumbled. "Turn off the light an' go ta sleep."

"Avalanche?" she screeched, shocked. "You jackass! Wake up and do something!" She grabbed him by the shoulders and pounded him up and down on his bedroll. Shadows danced in the tent in response to her efforts.

"Come off it, Ukyo!" he complained sleepily. "What do you expect me to do? Go outside and ask it to stop so you can get your beauty sleep?"

"You can go out and see if we're in any danger of joining the downhill plunge, dammit!" she snarled.

Ryoga propped himself on an elbow and listened to the beating of the rain. He thought about Jusenkyo. "Nope! Not me!" He tucked back under his covers and pulled them over his head. "You want to check, you go. OhhhHOOOooo!" His jaws cracked with a mighty yawn.

Ukyo found beating on Ryoga with her bare hands, martial artist or not, was very unrewarding. "Jackass!" she muttered. The rumble died away. Now only the beating rain and the occasional crack of thunder disturbed the night.

The one person more lost than she was. Ukyo slumped dejectedly, leaving the lamp burning. She scratched her arm and winced at the rough sound her nails made on the cloth of Ryoga's spare clothes. She hated the feel of them against her skin. Ryoga had hesitantly loaned her some clothes to use while hers were washed by nature's laundry service. He had refused to budge from the tent however and she had been forced to dress outside, just ahead of the oncoming storm.

On top of that, she felt like a tent! She was a tall, slender girl, but Ryoga was a taller, broad-shouldered man. The clothes bagged everywhere. She hated to think what she looked like. Why couldn't he wear silk or cotton like Ranma did?

She itched more vigorously and threw herself back on the spare blanket. With a single move, she snapped the light off. "Damn Ryoga!" she muttered. "If we end up dying in the middle of the night, I'll kill him!"

* * *

"Watch it, Akane!" Small delicate hands reached out and steadied the taller girl as they advanced along the cliff's edge. A rock under her foot broke away from the trail they were using, making her sway perilously for a moment.

"You watch it!" she snapped, nettled. "I'm not made out of glass!" She moved forward more carefully though, testing the footing before trusting her weight. "That storm must have loosened more than just the mud slide last night."

"I don't want to do that again, I'll tell you!" The helping hand returned and brushed red hair from Barry's eyes. Using both hands, she checked the knot in the shirt looped around her back. Barry cringed self-consciously at the sight she must present to any observer. Still, it was necessary.

Hung in the folds of the silk material, Shampoo-cat swung gently against the girl's back. She had been unconscious when dragged back from the slide's grip the night before and had drifted in and out of consciousness ever since. Akane had tried explaining what they were up to but there was no guarantee the concussed cat had understood. Shampoo had been told that Ranma would be carrying her in a sling made out of the only fabric available, his shirt.

This left Barry to 'hang loose' while Shampoo hung behind. Ranma supposedly could ignore the cat's presence if she didn't move too much, or so Barry and Akane told her. Barry was beginning to worry about her health, although a _ki_-scan had not revealed any serious problem. She didn't necessarily have the skill to identify all problems, she admitted silently.

"I sure wish we could have found some of our stuff!" she whined.

"Hey," Akane chastised her. "You kept us alive! I can be satisfied with that." Her stomach growled. "Well, at least till dinner time, I think."

"I still miss breakfast," Barry commented. "And tell me again why it had to be my shirt? You at least got a bra for decency's sake."

Akane stopped and turned her head.

"You want my bra?" she said dangerously.

"Um… No, that's okay," Barry replied absently. "It wouldn't fit anyway."

The other girl had started on, but stopped at the last words. Her head snapped around and she silently mouthed a stream of uncomplimentary remarks, ending with 'I wish you would stop playing Ranma, you Barry-baka!'

Barry rolled her eyes hopelessly. She was beginning to forget how to be civil. But until this was over…

They finally got off the ridge and moved back onto the undamaged face of the mountain. They moved swiftly uphill under the dripping branches.

"Tell me again, why we are going up the mountain?"

"Ukyo was sorta headin' that way, Akane," answered Barry. She flinched as Shampoo moved, hoping she didn't act too excited when she came all the way awake. "Besides, when we reach the top we should be able to see that town in the next valley… if we're right about our location." Barry carried Shampoo because of the two of them she had the better balance. She didn't want Akane exhausting herself or getting caught off-balance if Shampoo started moving about. These trails were treacherous.

"At least the rain stopped," Akane said. She tried for a bright, encouraging tone and glared when Barry didn't match her enthusiasm. The sun was high now approaching noon, and periodically the redhead's stomach announced itself. It did so now and Akane's glare grew stormier. "How did… uh, either of you survive those ten years, if your stomachs announced you to every prospective dinner?"

Barry blinked and ransacked Ranma's memories.

"Most of what we ate wasn't in condition to run," he answered.

"Roadkill?" Akane asked, horrified and nauseated.

"No… Well, at least not usually. We, ah… stole other people's food."

"Oh, that's right. As a matter of fact, doesn't that explain about five or six fiancées besides Ukyo and Shampoo?"

"No need to get nasty about it," she grumbled. "Or do I need to remind you about Picolet Chardin?"

"Point to you," Akane admitted.

They fell silent again as they approached the lower reaches of the summit. The wind made conversation difficult anyway. It was not a big mountain but had features many larger peaks did not. They skirted the boundaries of the slide staying well back from the edge. They hit a region of dense underbrush and chose to push on through.

Barry was trying to ignore the fact that Shampoo, recovered, bored, and looking for a chance to get closer to Ranma, had chosen to poke her head out of the sling and lean it against her bare back. Akane, still leading the way, pointed out a break in the trees. Eager for easier going, they altered course and headed for the clearing.

Breaking through the trees, Akane stopped short and Barry could have sworn she had uttered a Kasumi-like "Oh, my!" She pushed alongside to see what had captured Akane's attention.

"Whoa!"

* * *

Ukyo woke suddenly, realizing the rain had stopped sometime during the night. She lay in her bedding listening to the wind. Blinking, she sat up and winced once again as the fabric of Ryoga's clothing abraded her skin. She glanced sourly at the huddle of blankets from which deep snoring sounds issued.

She crouched out of the tent and smiled briefly at the sun, already well above the neighboring peaks. Her smile froze as she found that the avalanche had started only twenty meters away, where a section of their ledge had broken away as part of a fifty-meter wide swath torn from the mountainside. That close! She shivered. The idea of being swept down the mountain, her remains never to be identified or even discovered out here…

She found she was scratching more irritably than ever. Was she allergic to something about Ryoga's clothes? She looked for the branch where she had hung her tattered but still serviceable clothes the night before. There was no chance they'd be dry but she was ready to endure that. Wasn't it just to the left of the tent as she looked at the entrance? Well, wasn'tit!

"Ryoga!" she bellowed ducking into the tent. "Ry-O-Ga! My clothes are gone! Where are my clothes?" She grabbed him as she had the night before, slamming him up and down on the ground.

"Gzzzzz! G'way! Ba-Hyaaaahhwnnn, (smack!) night… Gahzzzzz!"

"Jackass!"

She exited the tent hissing her displeasure and began a detailed search of the area immediately around the tent. She was careful to keep this landmark in plain view. The search was meticulous, detailed, exhaustive... and futile. Along the way, she got rid of the pants. She decided Ryoga's tunic was long enough, barely, for decency's sake. At least her legs wouldn't itch! Her hands and knees were getting muddy. She used the trousers as a pad between herself and the soaked earth when she searched under the bushes. She was far too irritated to consider that skin was easier to clean than cloth.

Grumpily, she finally gave up. Her clothing must have blown away in this infernal wind. They better get to civilization soon, or she'd be ready to kill the first person that looked cross-eyed at her. Which meant Ryoga was in serious trouble. As she came around the front of the shelter, she found that individual nursing a small fire and beginning to boil water, probably for coffee or tea.

"So! Are you awake or just faking it?" she sniped stalking up. "How can you stand to wear this stuff!" she exclaimed whipping the soggy trousers at him. "It's like wearing knitted breadcrumbs!"

Ryoga jerked away surprised, but not fast enough. The cloth slurped around his head like a hungry octopus and the lost-boy did a disappearing act.

"Ahhh, Ryoga!" Ukyo jerked back as her fellow camper seemed to dissolve. She cautiously approached the pile of clothing. "Oh my god, oh my god…"

The clothing moved. She flinched away with a curse. All this time and she hadn't known Ryoga had a Jusenkyo curse. It was the only explanation she could think of. She returned and carefully pushed aside the clothing. A very irritated black pot-bellied pig glared up from the depths of Ryoga's clothes, a familiar bandanna adorning its neck.

"You're kidding!" she exclaimed involuntarily. "Ryoga, why didn't you tell me you were P-chan?"

"Wrooee roo!" the pig sighed. It looked over at the hot water with longing. Ukyo now saw that there were several pop-top thermoses lined up. They would be perfect to keep water warm for extended periods, simple enough for a small, intelligent animal to open if necessary. Thoughtfully, she tested the heating water. If Ranma was any guide, it was just hot enough for the change.

Seconds later, Ryoga snatched at some of his clothing and covered himself. "Can I have some privacy?" he asked, tight-lipped.

"How much privacy did Akane have?" she asked saccharin-sweetly.

"It… It wasn't like that!" he stammered. "I never looked at her when s-she was…"

"Bare naked?" Ukyo suggested. "You pervert!" she snarled, grabbing him by the throat, "You even slept in her bed!" She shook him violently and Ryoga had to choose between his life and his modesty. He held onto the clothing covering his privates and made choking sounds.

"I wish I had my spatula," she continued her verbal and physical abuse, "I'd give you such a beating…!"

"U… (Gaak!) …kyo! If you… (erk!) …went to Akane's… (glah!) …house you'd find… (wheeze!) …P-Chan wait… (urk!) …ing there!"

She stopped shaking him and let up a little on his throat. "How did you manage that little trick?"

Ryoga sighed. The cat was definitely out of the bag here, so he might as well explain. He chose not to tell her about Barry, though. He had no idea what she would think of Ranma carting around some gaijin wherever he went. He told her everything else including his dangerous and embarrassing near-visit to the veterinarian's office.

She released him and moved to a sitting position, her knees tucked up into the extra space Ryoga's tunic provided. As he finished his story, she stared at him, beginning to snicker. She still hadn't permitted him the opportunity to get dressed so he clutched his shirt to himself, protectively. He hoped her slight show of humorous appreciation might mean he could do so now.

"Heh-heh, heh! Can I get dressed now?"

"Go right ahead," she replied looking him in the eye.

He swallowed and reddened. "C'mon, Ukyo! They've forgiven me!"

"That's nice," she said, not budging. "Ranma and Akane are way too forgiving for their own good! I'm a harder case, thank you!"

"Ukyo! Um… If you go in my tent, you'll find something of yours that I found while I was wandering around."

"Really?" Ukyo was suspicious. "Why didn't you tell me about this before?"

"I forgot! Okay?"

"What is this something of mine you 'found'?"

"You have to go and see it." Ryoga's eyes narrowed and he smiled. He was pretty sure Ukyo would take the bait, and he could get his pants on in seconds. "It's under my umbrella."

With a sigh, Ukyo rose to her feet and walked slowly over to the tent. She knew exactly what his strategy was. Deciding she couldn't sit there all day and torture Ryoga if they were to stand any chance of getting anywhere, she mentally bowed to the inevitable and ducked into the tent. She heard a strangled exclamation from the lost boy and looked back over her shoulder.

"Ukyo, yourclothesarebyyourbed!" he said in a muffled voice. She noticed he was turned half away and one hand had gone up to hold his nose. Scowling she took note of herself and realized she had managed to moon her host as she ducked into the tent. She roughly jerked her hem down, face flaming. Then she interpreted what he had said.

"My… my clothes? Are in the tent?

"Yeah!" came his muffled voice. "When the rain stopped, the wind was getting worse; I figured you'd want them. They're on your side of the tent."

"You jackass! Do you know how long I spent looking for those?" she screeched. "You _jackass_!" She dove into the tent.

Ryoga dove for his pants. Ukyo could drive anyone nuts! Ranma called her 'cute', but then Ranma put up with being put into low-earth-orbit by Akane. He struggled to his feet, yanking the trousers up and fastening them. 'Well,' he amended, 'her butt is cute!'

Ukyo patted over the dim interior on her side of the tent before she realized she had covered her clothes with the blanket when she got up that morning. She shivered as she felt how clammy they were. Putting off changing for a moment, she located Ryoga's umbrella. She might as well find out what he had been hinting at.

"Damn it, Ryoga! What do you do to this thing to get it so _heavy_!" She didn't expect an answer and continued to lug the weapon aside. Beneath, she saw a gleam of metal. She realized what it was the moment her hand touched it. Like an old friend, the huge spatula seemed to slide out from under Ryoga's equipment and into her arms.

"My… (Sniff!) …spatula! (Sob!)"

She erupted out of the tent, spatula in one hand. Ryoga was caught totally off guard. Ukyo, unarmed, was one thing. With her spatula, she could do serious damage if she landed a blow. He dropped the shirt he was preparing to don and tried to both get out of the way and to block any blow she might launch. It was only after the fact that he realized she wasn't trying to hit him.

"Oh, thank you, _thank you_, THANK YOU, Ryoga!"

She caught him around the neck like she'd been practicing the Amazon glomp all her life. The weight of the spatula set them off balance and Ryoga had to close his arms around her while he stabilized them both. He was still completely unprepared for the extremely enthusiastic kiss she froze him in his tracks with. Of course, it was at that precise instant Akane pushed through the brush at the edge of the clearing.

Ukyo heard the "Oh, my!" and realized they had observers. Her eyes snapped over to verify, cheeks flaming as she realized what this might look like. Awareness of the breeze along the bare flesh of her legs, thighs and hips, and the tickle along the skin clear up to the small of her back, confirmed that it must look much worse than what it really was.

Her eyes registered a muddy, bedraggled Akane Tendo, eyes huge and hands over her mouth, followed by a topless girl-type Ranma, eyes also huge, with a familiar looking cat poking her head over the redhead's shoulder, its eyes like saucers. She unlocked her arms from around Ryoga's neck and tried to push away. She might as well have been in the grip of a statue. She pushed harder, to no avail. With her struggles, the tunic was rising even higher.

"Ummm…" she offered in a choked, embarrassed voice, "It's… It's not… It's not what it looks like?"

"Uh-huh. And you can explain everything," returned the wide-eyed Ranma dryly. To Barry, it looked like a late good morning kiss between two passionate lovers just leaving their nest. He even recalled a few similar ones with Gwen.

"Yeah, that's right," she replied weakly, trying to pull the hem of the tunic down where Ryoga's locked hands held it.

"What is it then?" whispered Akane from behind her hands.

"Mrrauw?" Shampoo seconded from beside Ranma's head.


	20. Lost Ki's

**Guest Ki: Chapter 19**

_**Lost Ki's**_

Barry's head snapped over at the unexpected sound. She had grown accustomed to Shampoo's weight and occasional movement. Internally, she groaned. If she were Ranma, ailurophobia would now kick in. She quickly sucked in a breath and clinically watched Shampoo's ears go back in horrified expectation. "_Ahhhhhhhhhh_!" Her passage by Akane briefly countered the wind off the ridge. "Cat! _Cat!_ CAT! Get it _off_!"

The scream jolted Ryoga to the realization he was holding a warm feminine body in his arms. He jerked back and had a glimpse of Ukyo's lower body as the tunic slid back into place. Then Ranma churned past, breasts bobbing, Shampoo hanging almost resignedly from a loop of cloth tied around her torso. The combination of kiss, proximity and visual assault proved too much for him and he went down like a falling tree, blood streaming from nostrils.

"I… I… can't _stand_ it! Get it _o-o-off_!"

Barry liked cats. He liked their independence; their 'on my terms' attitude and their sleek power. Ranma reminded him of a cat, though he never would have told the boy that. She was using the extreme over-the-top activity to try to find a way to stop this mad flight without pretending Nekoken or hurting Shampoo. She leaped over Ryoga's tent.

If she simply fell under the circumstances, Ranma would only get up and run again. She had to convincingly knock herself out somehow. Running into a tree might do it but the rebound would probably land her on her back. Wait a minute! A low-hanging branch… She could shield her throat with ki and use the branch to perform a mid-air somersault with her jaw as the pivot. Convincing, spectacular and Shampoo would be padded from impact by her back when she landed. She found an appropriate limb and went into her finale.

"_Ahhhhhhhhhh_… GLA-ack!" As she spun around the limb, she noted that an impact on her male body back home would probably have crushed the throat. As the line of her body assumed a slight upward vertical angle, she relaxed her throat, arched her back a little and slid off the branch. Momentum carried her twisting body past to the forest floor. She was perfectly lined up. Her forward momentum would bring her in for what would seem a belly flop but would actually be an artful landing starting at her toes and rocking up the length of her tensed body to dissipate itself against the muscles of thigh, abdomen and chest. Barry had done this once in a stage play (in a much simpler, stiff-bodied fall) to simulate a body comically reacting to an unexpected blow.

It was only as Barry was rolling down off her thighs, arms still outspread dramatically, that she remembered _her_ breasts were a trifle more sensitive than his. (Squish!) "_Erk_!" She fainted.

* * *

Shampoo sighed and curled her tail tighter about her front feet. It would take a while for Ukyo's clothes to dry and for water to boil. Ukyo had dumped all the hot water on 'P-chan'. Till then she was stuck in cat form and exiled from Ranma's presence. She looked sadly at Akane kneeling with the girl's head in her lap, speaking too softly for even her sensitive ears to hear.

It was promising though. Somehow Ranma had managed to rescue her from the churning mudslide even though she had turned cat from the abrading action of earth, stone and too much water. And she had carried her nemesis in a sling on her back for hours, careful of the cat-cursed girl's injuries, slight though they were. It was perhaps a sign that Ranma's fear of cats was fading. She had to admit, though, the incident she had just experienced was easily as bad as any in her memory.

Akane knelt, pillowing Barry's head in her lap, whispering imprecations at the stupidity of the performance she had pulled off. Ranma was notindestructible! She winced at the bruising evident on the redhead's breasts. Barry was going to get an earful at the earliest safe opportunity.

The atmosphere was positively blue around Ryoga where he sat by the fire and watched the water come to a boil. He couldn't believe this had happened to him. Not that his luck was particularly good at the best of times, but he had imagined that somewhere there were limits. Now everyone would think he was a no-good, two-timing bastard like Ranma. Not that Ranma was really a no-good, two-timing bastard. Ryoga knew better than anyone, the perceptions that were involved. Now the perceptions would definitely be against him. He winced as Ukyo came close to the fire to check her clothes. He had… kissed her in a semi-clothed state. Well actually, she had kissed him and she had explained several times why, and claimed it really meant nothing. The trouble was… he had actually enjoyed it.

'Oh, kami! What am I going to do?'

Ukyo was unconcerned about the kiss she gave Ryoga; unaware he considered it a breach of honor. She hadn't realized how out of balance she had felt without her main weapon. Her eyes still teared at the memory of reclaiming it. No, the kiss was spontaneous, a breaking of her controls. Heck! She might even have kissed Kuno if… well, maybe not Kuno.

Ryoga was kind of cute with those serious green eyes and those fangs. She shivered a bit. The kiss had become more than she had intended it to be, as had other reactions she had become aware of in herself and Ryoga. Why the hell did she have to be attracted to 'taken' men? Oh well, one for the memories. It was one more than she had from Ranma, anyway.

Her only purpose for a decade had been to hunt down the people who ruined her life and to make them pay. As a child, she hadn't realized Ranma's perception had been distorted by Genma's training. She knew she was a girl. She knew he was a boy. Her father told her he had arranged for she and Ranma to be together forever. Genma had not, apparently, mentioned that fact to the boy. When the elder Saotome took off with the family yatai, her father blamed her. She reminded herself to look up her father again, some time soon. In the past year, she realized he was as much to blame for her decade of agony as Genma.

The spatula spun as Ukyo reveled in the feeling of power and complete­ness it gave her. After checking her clothes, she moved into standard kata of her peculiar brand of ninjitsu ala' okonomiyaki. The great weapon sang through the mountain air, the wind a welcome challenge to her skills. The sound of its passage heterodyned as it spun and shifted almost with her thoughts. She struck out and a wrist thick limb dropped as if cut by a fine samurai blade. There was no perceptible delay caused by the strike and she moved on to more advanced maneuvers.

Barry regained consciousness and sat up suddenly, jarring her bosom painfully.

"AH-heh-hah, Ow! Owie!" She winced, hands coming up and hovering, undecided whether to soothe or avoid. Finally, she gingerly folded her arms gently across the abused glands. "Why don't they armor-plate these things," she moaned, rocking.

"Serves you right!" came a furious whisper.

"Akane, what was I supposed ta do?" she rasped back.

"Moron!"

"Ya really don't want ta get into an inventive insult contest with a guy twice yer age, sweetheart," Barry whispered, wincing. "Don't go there right now. Okay? Oooh!"

"Idiot! Just another good example of why the powers that be don't normally give men women's bodies," Akane muttered.

"You gonna pull my learner's permit?" retorted Barry to that nonsensical observation.

"If you were physically available, I'd beat you to within an inch of your life," she hissed. "Be more careful with Ranma's body!"

"Which one?"

"Barry." Her tone was flat and deadly.

"All right!" Barry looked down the length of her body distastefully. "Say, couldn't you guys have at least covered me up with… my… shirt…" Akane held up a shredded and tattered rag. Her finale had panicked Shampoo, with predictable results. "My… shirt?" Akane nodded.

"Don't worry, Barry," she said quietly, with a kind of 'keep-your-chin-up-now' delivery. "I'm sure it was all part of your plan to make everyone think Ranma's still here."

"Now I can see the relationship between you two."

"What? With whom?"

"Nabiki. That was definitely something Nabiki would have said." She sighed. "At least we got Ukyo back and we can get down ta business." They suspended the verbal sparing as that individual noticed Ranma was awake and wandered over.

"Hi, Ucchan," Barry said, hoping she was greeting this 'cute' fiancée in proper Ranma style. "Sorry I didn't check with you on the way past there." She laughed a bit shamefaced at the spectacle she had presented. "How ya feelin'?"

"I feel great! Uhhh… I mean…"

"S' okay, Ucchan," Barry said blandly. Ranma's memories of absurd circumstances made for generous allowances. "None o' my business anyway."

Ukyo stiffened, misunderstanding the words and the tone.

"What?" Barry noticed her defensiveness.

"It was _not_ what it looked like!"

"C'mon, Ucchan, when is it ever?"

"Ranma," she whined angrily.

"Gotta warn ya though, I think Ryoga is spoken for… Ow!" Akane slapped her with the remains of the shirt.

"Ranma!" Ukyo looked like she was about to explode. Her spatula quivered and Barry decided she was pushing things too far.

"Sorry, Ucchan. I'm just glad ta see ya in one piece, ya know? Everyone's worried about ya."

Ukyo subsided, lip quivering. Ranma cared. He still cared about her.

"Let's get ya home first. Then we'll sort out the relationships, okay?" (CLANG!)

Ukyo stalked away muttering. Ranma was still an insensitive lout, too.

"Barry, did you know that in some ways you and Ranma are very much alike?" Akane said quietly.

"_Owie_… Really?" Barry tried to stop the ringing in her ears.

After the water boiled, Ryoga struck camp and allowed himself to be led down the mountain. Shampoo went first garbed in Ryoga's spares, followed by Ukyo in her relatively clean but comfortable rags. Next came Ryoga, followed by a shirtless (but male) Ranma who was surreptitiously examining the lost boy's umbrella where it hung on his pack. Akane brought up the rear, glad of her isolation, as well as the distance between Shampoo and Barry created by their marching order.

Barry was the only one concerned with entering town. He was all too aware of how easy it was to 'go girl' now, but there wasn't a spare shirt for him. The prospect of wandering around town as a topless girl did not suit him at all. He couldn't avoid it unless he abrogated his responsibility with the finances. He didn't know what Ryoga carried but the rest of them would have to depend on the money he carried in the belt pouch he had worn since the beginning of their journey. Akane had carried the bulk of their funds. That was lost with the packs in the landslide.

As near as he could work it out, one hundred ten yen was worth a dollar in his home universe. He was having trouble trying to imagine how they would stretch the money to cover five tickets back to Nerima. The last thing he wanted was another pick-up job like Himamashi's had been. Time was wasting and they already missed a week and a half of school. That work would have to be made up before serious efforts could be made on more esoteric research.

As they walked through the edges of town, he continued to ruminate on his problems. It was very frustrating, so many little things to deal with. The really important one needed to be approached like a thief would his unsuspecting target. Suddenly, everyone else jumped aside as a van sped by, its tires hitting the edge of a puddle.

(SPLOOSH!)

"_Ahhh_!"

And of course, you had to make sure you didn't get distracted. The girls took her money and went on ahead, while Ryoga uncapped a thermos to revert girl to boy.

"You're a lot of trouble sometimes, Ranma," Ryoga declared.

"Betcha wouldn't feel that way if you were on the receivin' end, Ryoga!" Barry shuddered as he resumed male form. "I'm almost glad that happened though. I've been trying to get you aside since the fight at Himamashi's."

"Barry?" asked Ryoga cautiously. "If it's about ki techniques, I don't think now is a good time."

"No, though what you've done with your umbrella is fascinating," Barry replied. His face fell as he sighed. "It's a bit more serious, I'm afraid." He related what had happened at the bar in as few words as possible.

"Poor Akane," were Ryoga's first words, "and Nekoken is on all the time?"

"I'm afraid so. We don't know whether Ranma's in here somewhere, hiding from the Nekoken, or if..." Barry looked back up toward the mountain.

"Good thing we had it up there,though," Barry sighed, finally. "Without Nekoken, I don't think I would have the control or power to have done what I did. We'd a been dead in that avalanche if it'd been just me!" He grimaced. "But we gotta find a cure, or a solution to the damn…" Barry shook his head."Things just keep on getting in the way. The priorities…" With another sigh, Barry got back under control. "We had to find Ukyo. Ranma would put everything aside if any of his friends were in danger."

"Well that's over, at least," offered Ryoga. "Maybe we can beat the address ofwherever Genma stole the Nekoken manual from out of him? They might know something…" Barry nodded thoughtfully. "But if that doesn't work, what will you do?"

"I'm in a unique situation, Ryoga," Barry said slowly. "I can see ki and manipulate it to some degree." He met the other's eyes. "But we've both heard of masters that could do amazing things with ki as well. Somewhere, someone must have dealt with this or something like it before," Barry nodded to himself. "And whether they succeeded or failed, if we could find out what they tried and experienced, it might give me a clue where to begin!" Almost excited he stopped their progress with an arm across Ryoga's chest. "Do you think the high school…?" Barry started to suggest hopefully.

"Not a chance," Ryoga replied immediately. "I got lost in the library there, once. Since I had nothing better to do, I did a lot of reading. They're okay if you want scientific, historical or technical stuff, but what you're looking for won't be found outside of a major university or, more likely, a temple library or a good family dojo like the Tendo's." He grimaced. "And that's IF they let you see it. Most of that will be written in Chinese, Sanskrit or Urdu, or archaic Japanese."

"Oh, man!" Barry rubbed his own temples. "I suppose you know someone who knows Chinese, Sanskrit and Urdu?" he asked, half sarcastically.

"Well… I do, some…"

Barry spent a few minutes absorbing that.

"Where do you pick up this stuff?" Barry demanded.

Ryoga rubbed his head, amused. "It must be a survival trait. I can ask 'Where am I?' in about forty different languages and dialects; not that it does me any good." He shrugged as if this was no big deal. "I can get by in most languages on this side of the world."

Hmmm… Barry thought. There were many temples, shrines and dojo in the Tokyo area. Barry had the feeling that Ryoga was right that what he was looking for would be kept under lock and key. Still, Ryoga could translate the older languages… "Ryoga? If someone helped you get around, could you cover the temples around Tokyo?" Ryoga's long bangs bobbed as he nodded his head once. "And maybe we ought to get you back into school, too," Barry continued. "It'd be a great cover for the 'research' you would be doing." Barry punched lightly him in the arm in a friendly fashion. "Two birds with one stone; you could finish school and improve yourself while helping us at the same time."

Ryoga blinked in surprise. Going to school, again? He scowled. "Feh, Like school would help me hold down a job." He snorted, "Who would hire me? Who would want to keep me after I missed a few weeks work." He gazed off into the clouds. "I'm a Hibiki, cursed to wander."

"Remind me sometime to discuss your future in international business," Barry broke into his musings. "You can't believe how hard good linguists are to find, or what a big company will pay and do to get one where they need him to be."

Ryoga shrugged. "If you say so. But don't misunderstand. I'll be doing it because Akane needs Ranma. I owe her and nothing will stop me from repaying my debt to her…"

(SPLOOSH!) Cold water descended from somewhere above.

"Squeeee!"

"Dammit!" Barry screeched. "Don't you people have laws about doin' that? And quit gawkin'! A man yer age gotta seen tits before, dammit! Pervert!"

* * *

Ryoga and Ranma finally tracked the girls to a small clothing shop at the edge of the market district. They were involved in a heated discussion over a simple Chinese-style silk dress.

"It not even silk!"

"Ten thousand yen? That's robbery! It's not worth one thousand," growled Akane, agreeing with her closest rival for a change.

"What's up?" Barry asked.

"Shop vender robber-baron, big time!" complained Shampoo. She glanced at Ranma and looked puzzled. "Why you wear pig-boy's shirt?"

"Never mind," Barry replied testily.

"This is top quality…" screamed the shop vender.

"Polyester," Ryoga finished for him. "That's not what the tag says, though. One hundred percent silk?" He glared at the shopkeeper.

"That what Shampoo say! Should know. Is Chinese… _am_ Chinese!" she corrected herself. "Wear silk all time. This not silk."

They all glared at the shopkeeper now. Nervously, the shopkeeper looked from one to the other of the young, muscular youths. "Perhaps we can make a deal…"

At the train station, Ryoga pulled out his wallet and paid for everyone's tickets back to Nerima. He was the only one with significant luggage. All three girls had new clothes, courtesy of the shop vender who had become very reasonable after their discovery of his mislabeled stock. They chatted almost companionably, provided Barry kept out of sight.

Barry replaced Ryoga's shirt with a green polo shirt similar to ones he had worn at the riding academy. The cotton was far more familiar against his skin than silk, and the denser fabric would hide certain salient features that became noticeable under damp conditions.

"Ya know," he commented to the other young man, "I've got enough ta get us all back home, Ryoga. Ya didn't need…"

"I know," the other replied, "but Ranma's not the only one with a lot to atone for." He walked with Barry behind the girls to the platform. "Barry? About school… Can I count on you to help me get there and back again?"

"Sure. And we can help ya get ta the market for food or do shopping for ya when ya need it, P-chan."

"Great!" The taller man looked to one side, then back with a scowl. "Why did you call me P-chan?" he asked. "It's not like I have reason to worry anymore."

"Part of the act, Ryoga," Barry replied with a hint of mischief. "Besides, if it doesn't mean anything, you won't mind if I do it, will you?"

Ryoga scowled at him and looked away again. "Here comes our train," he said tightly.

Barry snickered.

"Ryoga, I just thought of something," Barry said suddenly. "You only went a few days last year. Aren't you gonna hafta repeat?"

"Probably not," the lost boy replied absently, as he handed over his ticket and boarded the train behind Shampoo. "My testing last year placed me in my senior year anyway, except for math. I just wanted to be with Akane."

"Oh," Barry nodded, offering his ticket and following. "That's good. It could have been damn inconvenient if we were in separate classes."

Ryoga looked at him with an evil grin. "Did _you_ pass?" he asked innocently.

Barry started to answer, then looked perplexed. 'Had Ranma passed?' He couldn't find a pertinent memory. Apparently, Ranma was indifferent on this subject. He looked for Akane. "Hey, tomboy!" he yelled.

The girl turned around annoyed. "What do you want?"

"Did I pass?"

"What?" Akane's face told him she was ready to go overboard with the possible choices for misunderstanding.

"Did I pass? At Furinken; am I a senior?" he quickly elaborated. Her hand rose to her face and she groaned. Around her, other passengers chuckled at her face-fault and the obvious implication.

"I should let you suffer," she yelled back at him, red-faced and embarrassed.

"C'mon… Did I pass?"

"Yes, you passed. You're a senior," she snarled before turning back to the other girls in a huff. "_Honestly_!"

Barry made a warding off gesture and sighed as Ukyo and Shampoo reacted with Akane, in solidarity for once. Strange, Barry thought. These girls were deadly rivals for Ranma's attention, but seemed almost like friends at the moment. He found a seat next to Ryoga as the train pulled out of the station. Now that _that_ was settled…

"Ryoga, about your umbrella…"

* * *

Ranma sat gingerly on the large stone beside the customer entrance to the barn. Unpleasantly surprised at how slow Barry's body recovered from its injuries, he was trying to do something about it. Unfortunately, he didn't have the ki senses Barry and he had developed at the lake. He had to resort to the mental exercises that old monk had taught him as a game a month or so before his dad tried to teach him the Nekoken. He shuddered.

Cats! This place was crawling with cats. Dozens and dozens of cats! The horses he didn't mind, but the cats… He tried to regain his focus and slowed his breathing again, meditating, searching for the center that increased the healing process. It wasn't easy. Barry hadn't been lying when he said that he had never heard of ki. His focus became more profound. The difficulty was avoiding sleep while ridding yourself from external stimuli. His breathing and heart rate dropped, while the actual volume of blood remained constant. He lost all sense of his surroundings and of time.

"Barry?"

It didn't register at first. He was aware that someone was standing before him. There was other movement as well and something warm seemed to be resting on his lap and against his side. He decided he better see what was up. He had made some progress, but still had far to go. He opened his eyes.

The first thing he saw was a woman with long brown hair held back by a hair ribbon in much the style Ukyo wore. She also wore a pink, sleeveless scoop neck T-shirt, blue jeans and tennis shoes. She had hazel eyes, a slightly crooked nose and a smile that made something inside him lurch in a disturbingly familiar way. Suddenly he knew who she was.

"Uh… Hi, Gwen."

"Are you all right?" Her voice spoke of concern and she reached out, caressing his cheek. He tingled where she touched. Swallowing, he dropped his eyes. He had been running his hand over the soft something in his lap, which was rumbling in a comforting manner. He now saw that it was a cat.

"No!" his voice came out an agonized whine. A cat? It must have crawled in his lap while he was meditating.

Gwen, fortunately, misunderstood the reason for his strange voice. She assumed he had tried to get up and that it had been too painful. She reached down and scooped the cat out of his lap and then held out her hands. "Come on. Let me help you up."

Ranma reached out almost desperately for her hands. 'Yes! Get me away from these cats,' he thought but did not voice. With her assistance, he hobbled over to the car and climbed in the passenger side. He was relieved when she shut the door. Safe! Then a cat jumped up on the car and walked right up the windshield and onto the roof.

"Hang on," Gwen said in disgust. She got out, chased the cat off the roof checked once again under the car for more, climbing back in only when she was satisfied. "Idiots," she muttered. She looked quizzically at him when he jerked at the word. "Not you, dear, the cats." After she started the car, she glanced at him again fondly. "I love you." It was said simply, with experience and deep layers of meaning.

"I love you, too," he muttered. 'What did I say? Did I just say…'

"Good," she replied, throatily, running a finger along his leg. He jumped and groaned, half in pain, half in… something else. "Oh, I'm sorry! I'll behave myself." She put the car in gear and pulled slowly out of the parking lot. "We'll stop by the hospital first; then get you home. You are not going to work tomorrow." Her frown was fierce and left no room for argument.

When she pulled out in to the street, he nearly shouted in shock. What did she think she was doing? She was driving down the _right _side! He was in a car with a crazy woman and this body did not have, even in the best of circum­stances, the speed or skills to escape this danger. He whined in protest and felt his fingers dig into the armrest of the door. A car came toward them on the opposite side of the road. His heart climbed back down into his chest. Apparently, Americans drove on the right. Barry's wife glanced over in concern and promised to drive more carefully.

"I love you," she said again.

"I love… you…" He cursed inside. Even prepared, he had only slowed it down. What was with Barry, anyway? Even Ranma's most basic kata didn't command _this_ level of response. He-l-l-lo… Akane? _Akane_! Ranma shriveled inside. What the hell was going on? He had just told this strange woman… _again_… But he… Akane… The cats… Sinking deeper into his seat, Ranma Saotome, age seventeen, of Nerima, sweated, his mind whirling from the four-fold assault from his desires and phobias and Barry's responses and memories. He had a bad feeling about this.


	21. Learning Curves

**Guest Ki: Chapter 20**

_**Learning Curves**_

Near the end of the trip, Shampoo came over and grabbed Ryoga by the ear. "Need talk with airen, pig-boy. Go sit with pervert-girl and spatula-girl." She gave the ear a good twist and Ryoga was given the choice of starting World War III, or accepting. Holding his ear, grumbling about overbearing females, he retreated to where Akane and Ukyo gossiped with one another. Fortunately, they didn't hear him. Shampoo turned to the young man she believed to be Ranma. "Why airen take pervert-girl to woods?"

"Training," he admitted. It was part of the truth. If Ranma had had other plans, Barry wasn't going to dredge them up for Shampoo's benefit. "Akane's father is the other half of the Anything-Goes school. Akane is his heir and needs to be taught the full set of forms. Ya hafta admit my life is hectic, Shampoo. If somethin' happens ta me and Pops, the school dies with us."

"You finish, you come with Shampoo, yes?" she asked a bit breathlessly, as if there weren't a brain in her skull. Barry decided to play a card he had held since returning to the dojo. Nabiki had even given him a good deal on it.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?" Invisible neon signs seemed to flash, 'BIMBO!' 'BIMBO!'

"I know yer not a brainless doll, Shampoo," he said irritably. "Quit actin' like one." The Amazon looked at him doubtfully. "Nabiki has a nice computer, doesn't she?"

"What mercenary-girl have do with airen and Shampoo?" She didn't like where the conversation was going. She tried to steer it back to relationships — hers and Ranma's.

"She has a friend that showed her how to call up keystrokes that were made on her computer. She checked it right after ya left her room." He let her mull over that. "I always wondered why yer Japanese never improved either." He glared at her. "Care to tell me why ya been actin' like a bimbo all this time?" Shampoo blushed and became very interested in the condition of the floor near her toes. Her hair obscured her face making her look innocent and fragile. Barry got annoyed. "If yer gonna act like that, go back and sit with the girls."

Shampoo's hands came up to cover her face and her shoulders shook silently. Barry tried not to let his concern show. It was probably another act. This 'little flower of China' was as lethal as an entire Special Forces team. He gritted teeth. She was also a young woman with her own set of doubts and fears trying to do her best in an unfriendly world.

"Shampoo, we all have our little secrets," he said steeling himself. "But I wonder if I ever knew who ya were. I mean sure, yer a great martial artist, ya have purple hair (all over, he had noted at the bar), yer dad's nice but awfully quiet and yer great-grandmother is a ghoul who can be pretty nice or pretty damn scary."

Shampoo remained silent.

"But who is Xian Pu?" he asked pronouncing her name as Ranma had heard it said in her dialect. "She seems ta be someone who's willin' ta kill my friends if she disagrees with them. She seems ta be a brainless twit who acts like a pervert magnet. She seems ta be a girl who's willin' ta use magic and poisons and potions ta force me to do somethin' without carin' whether _**I** _want it or not." She glanced at him from under her bangs. "A friend just wouldn't do that kind of thing."

"Shampoo not want be friend! Want..."

"It's the same thing. Maybe more so," he said more gently. "If a guy can't trust a girl ta be truthful with him, he's not gonna treat her seriously."

"What about girl trust in boy?" Shampoo demanded, eyes flashing.

"That's right," Barry said smiling, "It's exactly the same thing."

She frowned and seemed about to speak several times. Finally she huffed, disconcerted. "Why you no ask before?"

"I notice yer still not answerin' now." She looked stubborn, for which he was thankful. A stubborn, cranky Shampoo was much easier, if not safer, to deal with. "Think about it. I said it before, I'd like ta be yer friend." He looked her straight in the eye. "I'll add this… Ain't no chance I'll ever be anythin' else, unless that comes first."

"It not that easy."

"Sure it is." He grinned. "Friends help one another."

"Huh!" she vocalized disdainfully. "Know how airen want Shampoo help!"

She glanced back to where Akane whispered to Ukyo. Ryoga seemed to be taking a nap. Of course, he might have heard something racy instead. Barry had overheard enough girl-talk from his wife's friends and still blushed in memory of some of the things discussed. Akane looked tired but happier than she had for a while. The Amazon turned her gaze back to the pigtailed boy and glared knowingly.

"What?" he asked. He understood her dislike of her rival. What did that have to do with their discussion? Shampoo continued to glare at him, but the intensity faded as he continued to look confused.

"All right, what Ranma mean?"

"Well, for example," he said considering, "maybe I could look inta why ya can't do ki-blasts? Maybe I could find…" Shampoo had gone white and the intensity of her glare had returned full force.

"Stupid Ranma!" she hissed, tearing. "If G-great-grandmother not know, how you th-think you do better? Shampoo no do ki attacks. Astral too weak." Her fists clenched and for a moment, he thought she would hit him. "Is just other reason why Shampoo need Ranma for husband!"

"Say again?"

Shampoo suddenly dropped her face into her hands again, her shoulders shaking with quiet sobs. "Is shameful thing," he caught between gasps.

He looked back toward Ryoga and the girls. They hadn't noticed anything, but Ukyo was smiling slyly at a reviving Ryoga. She said something at which Akane blushed. Ryoga boggled and fainted again. Barry shook his head. Maybe he'd get out of this one without a pounding. He patted the Amazon on the shoulder and cursed when the movement almost turned into a caress.

"Shampoo from old-old family. Ling-Ling, Lung-Lung and Shampoo last of line. All other gone. None do ki attack; is… imper-fection in way made. If airen strong, maybe make up for Shampoo. Maybe Shampoo children have ki-strength of husband, line no end."

"A real Amazon princess?" Barry laughed softly and held up his hands when she glared. "Hey, I'm flattered. I thought you gals were a matriarchy?"

"Yes. But Matriarch chosen for strength, skills… Chosen by tests for life as leader. Is great honor, great responsibility, too. Shampoo family always part of leadership…"

"Till now." Barry said. Shampoo hung her head in shame. Barry was thinking rapidly. He couldn't believe that every member of the present generation had this problem. His curiosity was twitching like mad. He reached over suddenly and took her hands. He had found with Akane and Ryoga that touch improved the clarity of the ki-sense.

"Wha—!" Her soft sighing query warned him he had made a mistake. He glanced up and saw her eyes huge, fixed on his face full of hope and hunger. He hated to do it, but…

"Aw, jeez! Never mind! Why you gals hafta take everythin' so seriously!" He used the armrest as leverage and flipped out of his seat into the aisle. Muttering, he stomped to the back of the car passing Ryoga, Ukyo and Akane in the process.

"What's wrong?" asked Ranma's fiancée.

"Shampoo has a real problem," he grunted, continuing past.

"The bimbo always has a problem," snickered Ukyo. Akane's lips twitched.

Barry stopped and glared. "Yer all gonna eat those words," he quietly informed them. "Appearances can be decievin'."

* * *

He moved further back; glad they were on a late train. The packed crowds of rush hour would have been unbearable. Besides, it would have caused a fuss if he'd just vanished into thin air on a crowded train. Using the masking of the 'quiet thief technique' designed by Ranma's father, he snuck back hoping Shampoo would, out of pity or convenience, return to her seat with the other girls and let Ryoga escape.

"Is it just me or is Ranma acting strange, Akane?"

"Well he's been a bit off since the Ramen Noodle Wrestling," Akane admitted nervously.

"The what?" Ukyo stared at her companion. "What's that?"

"You don't want to know," said Ryoga in a strangled tone as he revived once more. "I sure don't want to talk about it!"

Ukyo looked at Akane and an eyebrow twitched up. "This must be good."

Akane tried unsuccessfully not to blush.

Ukyo's face suddenly tightened. "Did you and Ranma…?" she began.

"What? _No_!" Akane choked. 'Would they have?' she wondered. "No, it's just that… you don't wear very much when you wrestle in a pool of ramen…"

Ukyo frowned, trying to understand. "Wait a minute… You don't wear very… What kind…" She found herself caught between her own glare, Akane's blush and Ryoga's pale face, again. "Maybe you better start from the beginning."

Barry grinned, wondering how Ukyo would take this story. It didn't really matter, though. Mega-spat or not, Akane was in little danger from the okonomiyaki chef anymore. He passed silently to where Shampoo sat slumped and depressed in her seat. He was determined to discover the truth about her inability to do ki. Besides, maybe there was some way to tweak this for Ranma's benefit.

Barry moved on to come up beside Shampoo. He turned his ki sense on the girl and tried to make sense out of what he saw. Like Ranma's girl-type, she had a decidedly 'yin' color to her aura, which was strong and clear, very balanced. He tried to find the exact area, which Ranma, as a girl, used to produce the ki attacks, but failed. Was it missing?

He backed away puzzled. Maybe if he were in girl-type? He looked out the window, but for a change, the night was clear. Then he noticed a fellow passenger had brought aboard a nice cold soft drink at their previous stop. He sauntered over.

"Could I buy that off ya?" The man looked around unsure as to where the voice had come from. "Oh, sorry." The passenger jerked as a good-looking young man seemed to materialize before his eyes. "Um… Could I buy that off ya?" He stared for a moment before offering the cup with a trembling hand. "Thanks!" The young man handed him several fifty-yen coins. Then, popping the plastic lid off, the young man stuck his fingers into the drink. Suddenly, young dark-haired man became young red-haired woman. She winked at him and faded out of sight.

Barry chuckled and wondered what the poor guy would do with this story. Probably nothing. It was too weird for anyone to believe, if they hadn't met up with Jusenkyo, Ranma Saotome or the totally weird martial artists that hung around him. Girl now, she snuck back to Shampoo.

As she examined their respective auras, she overheard Akane and Ukyo in the seats further back.

"How small did you say that thing was?" Ukyo said, her eyes wide. Akane held up her hand.

"Each piece was about as big as the palm of my hand. Too bad the ramen stained it. Once you got used to it…"

"Ranma's not the only one who's acting different," Ukyo said eyeing Akane speculatively. "I can't believe… I mean the Ranma I know would never have let you…"

"I was challenged, Ukyo. Ranma was smart enough to butt out this time."

Barry grinned. Had Ranma known how positively insane it would turn out he would have stuck his foot in it for sure.

"I'm just surprised he didn't… you know, go girl, dye his hair, get a mask…"

Akane grinned. "_Warm_ ramen, remember? Just to make sure though, I asked Himamashi-san if he wanted Ranma and Ryoga to act as crowd control." Ryoga looked aghast at her words. "I didn't tell them, of course; but I felt if Ranma thought he could officially protect me from all those perverts around the ramen pool, he'd stay male and out of my way." Barry chuckled to himself. Akane had manipulated them magnificently.

"Poor Ranma," Ukyo chuckled. She glanced at the pained looked on Ryoga's face. "And poor Ry-chan," she added, patting him on the cheek. Ryoga blushed but surprisingly didn't jerk away.

Barry pulled his attention back to the sulking Amazon, locating in Shampoo the lines and focus, which Ranma used to project attacks when in girl form. They were oddly distorted, in some way fuzzy and out of focus where they should have been clear and strong. It was damned odd. As it involved the aspect of her aura connected to emotions and perceptions, he wondered why she wasn't as nutty as Kodachi with a ki structure like this.

Ukyo turned back to Akane.

"So, who challenged you?"

Three rows away, Shampoo stiffened and drew up her feet, curling into a tight ball. 'Obviously,' Barry thought, 'I'm not the only jug with big ears… God!'

Her new position caused the lines of ki to shift as well. All the fuzzy ends to her emotional ki lines suddenly lined up as if the demarcation were a sword strike across her body. He looked closer. Her ki was, in some indescribable way, restricted. The end effect was similar in some ways to the 'ribbon of light'. Regardless of whoever or whatever had done this, it was part of Shampoo's aura now, living leech-like off the Amazon's own ki.

"I… she…" Akane struggled with herself. She had beaten Shampoo and she was proud of her victory. But somehow, her competition with Shampoo had changed. She did not want to shame the other girl and suspected that Ukyo's response would be noisy and biting. Ukyo's time spent in boys' schools and in male situations had made her sense of humor as coarse as any man's in some ways. She decided to sidetrack a little.

"Understand, Ukyo, the training Ranma gave me was very intense…"

"C'mon, Akane! Who'd you beat?" Ukyo smirked, expecting some stupid embarrassing thing like a cross-dresser or an irate animated tanooki.

"I even learned the Kachu Tenshin Amiguriken…"

"You what!" Ukyo was no longer smiling. "But you'd have to be…" She suddenly realized who Akane's challenger had to be.

"And I was very lucky," Akane added. As Ukyo tried to grasp the idea that klutzy Akane was now good enough to challenge Shampoo, the latter suddenly unfolded and stood up, almost hitting the stealthed Barry in the nose.

"No need make excuses, Akane," Shampoo said. "You beat Shampoo in ramen fight. Fight good, use good strategy." Then she grinned wickedly. "Not work next time."

"No, it wouldn't." Akane smiled. "Next time, I'm going to have to be much better, if I don't want my head handed to me on a platter."

"Pig-boy, Ranma say nothing happen in woods; you there all time. Is true?" she demanded.

"Heh, heh-heh, ummm… yes?"

"Ryoga!" exclaimed Akane exasperated. Ryoga was a worse liar than Ranma, if that was believable. She hoped she could explain this without destroying the train.

"Akane," Ukyo and Shampoo said almost in unison.

"Look! It was all just a misunderstanding," Ryoga said, sweating at the looks caused by his lost wits. "I mean, it looked really bad when I found them together in the sleeping bag…"

"What!"

"Airen no want pervert-girl!" Shampoo snapped.

"Airen no want bimbo," snarled Akane right back. "But that's not an issue here. Nothing happened, more's the pity." She gauged her available avenues of escape. She didn't see Barry around and she might have to take on both girls at once for a time.

"Evil woman try steal…" Akane's words brought Shampoo up short. "What you mean 'nothing happen'?"

"Nothing happened. I tried to swim a mountain lake. I was freezing to death. Ranma was asleep. And you _know_ how he sleeps!"

They looked at one another and nodded.

"Like log."

"Ranchan'd sleep through the end of the world, if food or martial arts weren't involved.

"I did get warm, though," Akane added introspectively. She found herself sighing in unison with Shampoo.

"Know feeling. So warm…"

"If Ranchan didn't sleep with his window open…" growled Ukyo, darkly.

"Maybe airen glad invite wife in?" suggested the Amazon with an arch look. The other girls groaned and rolled their eyes. This was typical Shampoo. "This body give much pleasure. Ranma so… big." She swayed suggestively.

Ryoga grabbed his sore nose and bolted, saying something that sounded like, '_Way_ too much information!' Shampoo folded gracefully into the empty seat.

Akane found herself growling and mangling the armrest with her hand. Then Ukyo put her two-yen in. "Big what, compared to whom?" she demanded.

Shampoo went livid and jumped back to her feet. "You say Shampoo with other men? Is lie! You take back, spatula-girl!" Akane suddenly got it. Shampoo was baiting them again. "Ranma plenty big enough!"

"Most men are, I suppose,"Akane said slowly, eyeing the huffing Chinese girl. "Do you have to lie like that? It's why people don't respect you."

"Shampoo know! Shampoo compare airen with Joketsuzoku training film." The other girls looked at one another and back at Shampoo.

"Training films?" wondered Ukyo.

"Training films for what?" added Akane. "And don't you dare claim it's an ancient Chinese Amazon secret, Shampoo. Movies haven't been around that long."

Barry groaned softly. Ranma was quite normal — she should know. What Shampoo was talking about and how she had obtained her comparisons with Ranma, Barry didn't want to know. Like Ryoga had said when he nearly ran her down, '_way_ too much information.' She tried to ignore them as she observed and compared all three girls' ki with her own aura. All were strong, bright and centered, with Shampoo being the brightest, except for the blockage.

Shampoo sighed, deflating, and slumped into her seat once more. "IsAmazon husband-hunting technique!" She held up her clenched hand. One finger jumped up (no, not that one).

"One — Study culture of husband. Two — Learn how make husband desire wife. Three — Take husband back Amazon village. Four — Teach husband why Amazon way make happy. And five — Show husband why accepting Amazon way better than alternative."

Akane and Ukyo exchanged glances. "Seems reasonable," they admitted, almost in unison. "Actually, if you were husband-hunting outside your culture, you might have to do it that way," Akane added.

"What's this about films, though?" asked Ukyo.

"Use film, western culture. How woman catch, pleasure man." She named about six films, only one of which, 'Shall We Dance', was known to the other girls.

"That one's a little out of date," commented Akane.

"Hard understand, anyway. Why wife stay home, worry if husband sad, no ask why, no do something make happy?" She shook her head. "Not Amazon way."

"Hold on, Shampoo," Ukyo countered. "That still doesn't answer our question about how you decided Ranchan's a stud?"

"Three film show technique what… catch outsider male," Shampoo replied uncomfortably. She named them again.

Barry felt some familiarity with the names, but wasn't sure from where. He had done all he could to examine and compare the girls' ki. His next action would be to check with Cologne. There was an outside chance that what had been done was for some obscure nonsensical Amazon training. If so, he wouldn't get in the way, though privately he'd have some words with the little mummy.

"Film show how man like woman," Shampoo seemed to stumble a bit and looked embarrassed. "How do… sex…" Her audience's eyes went round. "Some Shampoo no _want_ know. No do! Shampoo not want share airen, not want be share by airen." She eyed Ukyo and Akane as their hands clapped to their mouths to stifle 'Eeep's'. "Why you 'eeep'?"

"Oh, kami!" Akane whispered. Ukyo was beginning to shake, half from embarrassment, half from laughter. "No wonder you act the way you do."

They weren't the only ones going 'Eeep'. Barry had suddenly realized why one of the films was familiar, at least by reputation. He had never heard of a film named 'Vixen of Kyoto' in his own world, but Ranma's friends Hiroshi and Daisuke had enthused over the extremely pornographic offering not long afterRanma had first arrived in Nerima. The film coincidentally featured a… performer that remarkably resembled Ranma's girl-type, and it was one of the reasons Ranma initially resisted revealing his alternate identity.

"Shampoo…" A distressed Akane rubbed her temples as she tried to explain to an increasingly irate Amazon. "That kind of film is made for perverts. I…I mean… nobody watches those things or acts like that as a husband and wife."

"How you know?" Shampoo growled, poking a finger aggressively at Akane. "How you know how husband, wife act?"

"N-no. But I have my memories of how my mother and father acted. I know they loved each other," She flushed.

"You see only public face. In bedroom, maybe different…"

"Akane's right, Shampoo." Barry faded into supportthe short-haired girlin her argument. Regardless of his intent, there was an immediate combined shriek of surprise; and he was struck by mallet, a huge spatula and bonbori simultaneously. "That… hurt."

"Barry!"

"Ranchan!"

"Airen! Shampoo sorry." The Amazon frowned at Akane, who was still frozen in shock. "You call airen 'blockhead' again?"

"Oh, umm… You know how I am, Shampoo."

"Violent, pervert-girl, kitchen-destroyer," muttered the Amazon.

"Hey!"

"R-r-r-right…" Barry twitched an eyebrow at Akane before refocusing on Shampoo. "Whatever. But she is right, Shampoo. That kind of film is made for guys who don't want a permanent relationship. If that's what yer workin' from, no wonder ya act like a bimbo."

"Is wrong?" The query came out in a tiny voice.

"You betcha," he replied. "Where did you guys get this stuff, anyway?" he had a sudden horrible thought. "Not Jani-san, I hope."

"No, aunt catch husband by self, no ask special training."

"Good."Barry tuened away. "By the way, Akane, when we get in, I wanna wander over to the Nekohanten before we go home." He sensed a sudden shift in intensity in the other girls. "This ain't about fiancées, okay?"

"Can I tag along?" asked Ukyo. "I'm… not sure… I mean I want to besure I make it back home, if you know what I mean."

"Suits me. Ryoga's, Shampoo's, Ucchan's, then the Tendo's."

"Ranma," Shampoo's troubled voice interrupted the planning. "What type man, Amazon Husband Hunting training get Amazon?"

Barry considered. "Hiroshi, Daisuke, Kuno, Mikado, Happosai…"

"Eeuw!" Shampoo's face twisted memorably. "Shampoo need talk to Grandmother!"

* * *

The train pulled up to their station and the group disembarked. Barry finally had to take a grip on Ryoga's pack to keep the traumatized young man from wandering away. He was flinching whenever any of the girls came within arm's reach.

"Ya know ya girls should really watch what ya say around sensitive guys like Ryoga," the redhead warned them. "I don't want ta hafta carry him home." Ryoga's grateful look vanished at the mischievous look on her face. "People might get the wrong idea." Ryoga quivered in rage as she batted her eyes.

A mallet, a huge spatula and a bonborismashed down. Ryoga smiled at the girls. "Heh-heh! Had that coming!" He slung the unconscious redhead on top of his pack, shifted a few times to account for the balance and followed the others off the platform. It was several minutes before Barry was in condition to irritate anyone again.

"Oooh…"

Ryoga dropped back a bit to allow for some privacy to talk with Barry.

"Ryoga?"

Ryoga growled in reply. "Do you have to act like that? I mean Ranma's a jerk sometimes, but I don't think you need to carry the act that far."

"Sorry, P-chan."

Ryoga snarled and looked ready to murder the redhead. "I never thought I'd be glad to help Ranma and Akane get together." He trudged on intent on the form literally slumped across his shoulders. "Areyou planning on having Akanetake me tothe local shrine, tomorrow?"

"It wouldn't be a bad start." Barry shifted, pushed up and looked around. "Ryoga, where are we?" She slid off the pack and looked around some more.

"Oh, shit," muttered Ryoga. He had lost track of where they were! He glanced around desperately but saw nothing familiar. A faint green distortion began to form around his fists, slide up his arms... A small slender hand smacked him across the nose causing him to yelp.

"Stop that!" As Ryoga used two hands to shield his face from further insult, Barry nodded confidently. "We need to go that way." Barry pointed. They double-timed off in the direction indicated, Barry gripping Ryoga's sleeve. The girls had stopped and were just beginning to look around for the lost pair. They waved as they came into view and everyone returned to their course toward Ryoga's house. It was getting late and tomorrow was going to be something of a trial for them all.

Tomorrow was going to be their first day back at school.

Tomorrow, Barry would start to discover just how weird Ranma's life really was.


	22. School's In Session

**Guest Ki: Chapter 21**

_**School's in Session**_

They came over the wall and launched themselves up to the dojo roof. They ran silently and easily across the tiles and leaped to the nearest wing of the house. From there they went more silently still, not wanting to wake the sleepers in the rooms below. The quiet familiarity of the Tendo property did nothing to soothe either of the individuals who now stood above the room belonging to Akane Tendo.

To the one, the familiarity was forced, wrong. To the other it was confirmation that nightmares were not always banished by the waking of the dreamer. The taller form put a hand out to lightly brush the other's shoulder.

"Akane, I think we should talk, so we're on the same page tomorrow."

"I don't feel like talking." She shuddered at the familiar voice with the slightly alien manner of phrasing. When Barry wasn't trying to act like Ranma, the difference was worse than jarring. "I just want to climb into my own bed, pull the cover over my head and pray this nightmare goes away." She felt his nod through her hand.

"Why aren't you?"

"I've never tried to get in through my own bedroom window before, Barry-baka," she replied blushing. "Ranma does it all the time." She blushed again at what that remark seemed to infer.

"Akane, relax. I know all about you and Ranma. More than I need to know." He hesitated then offered, "Hear me out a minute and I'll show you how to do it."

"All right." She turned toward him. "What is it you want?"

"To go _home_!"

Akane shivered at the longing in his voice.

"Sorry." He drew in a breath. "Like I told you, We've got a plan." Barry took a deep breath.

"But until we get Ranma back, and we _will_ get him back, you and I are going to have to pretend that I'm him." He watched her draw back distastefully. "Don't get the wrong idea, tomboy; I am not in the mood for a brawl right now. I mean, in the way everyone will be expecting you guys to be. We sort of winged it on that trip with Shampoo, but on a day-by-day basis, we've got to get this solid, or the other fiancées will think you've dropped out of the running." He paused as Akane sighed heavily. "What?"

Akane shook her head back and forth. "I just don't feel I can… I mean how can I hit you…"

"You did fine on the trip back there." He glared at her, daring her to argue.

"Well, I just couldn't leave Shampoo think…" she offered timidly.

"Exactly!" He grinned. She shuddered and looked away. "Now what?"

"When you're not 'in character', Barry, I don't think anyone would recognize you as Ranma."

"That's good. That'll help us keep track of our goals, ne?" He sighed and looked at the night sky so familiar to him; his home was nearly on the same latitude as Tokyo. "Every once in a while, I'll push buttons and you just let yourself act naturally."

Her face darkened. "You mean like my cooking." Barry heard her teeth grind. Unkindly, he laughed at her distress, almost pushing one of those fore-mentioned buttons.

"You have to admit, some of your mistakes have been spectacular." He grinned in an oddly Ranma-ish fashion and muttered about eggs and microwaves. "Actually, what I'd like ta do is get them all ta sit down and eat one of your meals now, wait for the compliments to start… then keel over like I've dropped dead!"

"Don't you _dare_!" Her raised voice started a dog barking and both fell silent, listening for movement below. "Don't you dare do anything like that. Don't… Do you think… they might like my…?"

Barry snorted. "Girls! Always fishin' for compliments!" He relented. "If Ranma were here he'd tell you, 'Read the recipe, read the labels, kick yer anger out to the dojo and, fer kami's sake, don't improvise till ya've been cookin' as long as Kasumi has'." Barry watched sadly as tears trickled down her cheeks and changed subjects. "Uhhh… Let's see about getting you into your room." He looked into the dark shadows beyond the roof's edge and grumbled, "I never did this with Gwen. Well, I never jumped rooftops with Gwen, either."

"Just get on with it!" she growled. She watched as his left hand met the edge of the roof, and his body tumbled out of sight. After a minute, he seemed to roll back up onto the roof tiles again. "Well?"

"I just made sure your window was open and checked for stray Kodachi's." He cracked his knuckles. "Nothing this time."

"Heaven help us all, if there were more than one Black Rose," Akane agreed. It would have been unpleasant had that individual been borrowing her room as she had when Akane was at Makiko's.

"Right. Now see the tile I used? If you think of it as a gymnastics bar; just grab hold and let yourself loop into your room."

"Barry," Akane sounded aggrieved. "I want to do it like Ranma does it."

"How about if that waits till daylight? I don't think you want to land on your head or sleep on broken glass, if you miss tonight."

"Ranma would have made me do it."

"Ranma is a far better judge of what you can and cannot do. Go to bed!"

"You sound like my father," she grumped.

"Your father? I'm certainly old enough." Barry grinned and shrugged. "Get on with you, girl."

She was stubborn though, a trait Ranma, always eager for a challenge, found appealing. She sought for an excuse to avoid taking his advice. "You really think we'll get Ranma back?"

"Hey! I can't leave till he does…"

"What? Is there some kind of link?" She looked alarmed and hopeful.

"Not that I know of, just a sense of responsibility. I want to make sure you kids are all right before I get on my way again."

"Back to your home and your wife," she stated. "Oh, my!"

"What?"

"Barry, what if Ranma is in your body?"

"That could make things… interesting."

"You're telling me. Grrr!" Akane suddenly glowed.

"_Easy_! You are way too sensitive, tomboy."

"Easy for you to… Oh, that's right. It's your wife," she finished lamely, appalled by her thoughts. "Do you think…?"

"Personally, after being in his hip pocket this long, I'd trust Ranma to come up with something. The biggest danger is that he'll manage to convince Gwen I've gone nuts and get me committed." He shrugged. "I really doubt Ranma will just jump into bed with my wife." He shrugged again. "Let's concentrate on what we need to do on our end of it to get him back."

"You want me to take Ryoga around to the local shrines, I know," Akane said. After an uncomfortable silence, she added. "How are we going to explain what we're doing?

"I don't know yet." He yawned uncontrollably. "But while we get caught up with schoolwork, we're going to have to dredge up everything we can find about possessions, auras, out-of-body experiences and anything on magic that we can pry out of the Amazons. That last is not going to be easy. Meanwhile, I'll keep poking around in here looking for clues" He yawned again and gestured helplessly. "With my talent with ki, once we have the translations of what you guys find, it should be easy to check them for authenticity and gather the info on how we can both get back to where we belong."

"Why don't I just go to the shrines myself; or you go, for that matter?"

"Can you read all those languages? Ranma's talent in that field is… limited. Ryoga, though, is one heck of a linguist." He hesitated as she yawned herself then, admitting with her body that she too was at her physical limits.

"Where are you sleeping tonight?" she asked as she recovered.

Barry froze, startled. The sudden change of subject threw him. To tell the truth, he hadn't really thought about it. "Well, the Saotome house is repaired and they do keep a room ready for Ranma." He checked his words at the uncontrolled, stricken look that flashed across her face. She was distressed, but couldn't properly explain why. "Why don't you just pass me up a blanket, though?" he finished. "It would be normal for Ranma to sleep right here, if the weather was decent. He's done it often enough."

Her face cleared a little at his words. She turned, took a breath and, before he could offer to spot her swing into the darkened room, was gone. Moments later he sensed her presence at the window and swung down far enough to retrieve the blanket she offered.

"Goodnight, Akane." The darker shadow in the window seemed to nod, but did not answer. He didn't speak any of the facetious additions so often added to that leave-taking. Neither of them had slept well nor had pleasant dreams, since their own personal disasters happened. He sought a reasonably comfortable spot on the tiles and tried, even though it was painful, to recapture a glimpse of his wife and son in his dreams.

* * *

Reflected light off a neighbor's window brought Barry awake, its reddish glare painful after the few hours of sleep he had managed. He sat up and unconsciously moved through a set of tai chi forms to loosen stiff muscles and begin the process of waking up. As he sat, meditating on the sight of the great red sun as it rose past the complex skyline to the east, he heard the faint movements of someone awake in the house below.

It almost had to be Kasumi. For most of two years, Kasumi had been a substitute mother for Ranma, helping the boy, who was often a girl, over some very rough times in her own particular way. The eldest Tendo danced to a natural cycle like ripples on a pond, regular, gentle… disturbed somewhat by the stones chance cast into her depths, but quickly returning to her serenity. It was not that she didn't have a temper; all of the Tendo girls had tempers, though they expressed them in different ways.

It had never happened to Ranma, but Happosai, early on, had received her wrath after a glomp and discovered his food to be bland, his sake and silky darlings suddenly missing and the furnishings of his room disturbingly and subtly out of place and orientation. Threats would not move her. It had made the old man so uncomfortable that he no longer disturbed her, unless he was in a particularly peckish mood.

After a moment, Barry rose to his feet and made his way to the edge of the house. He almost leaned over the edge to peer in and check on Akane. Reflecting, he realized it was unnecessary and if she were awake, might be misinterpreted. He utilized his ki sense, located her, noted the breathing and heart rate that indicated sleep and turned away. It was interesting and disquieting that the track of tears was also visible to the inner eye.

His feet landed softly on the first story roof and then onto the ground by the main entryway. Removing his shoes, he padded down the hall and around the corner to the main room. Expecting to find Kasumi busy in the kitchen, he jumped back as her head suddenly peeked around the corner.

"Ranma!"

"Shhh… Let's not wake anybody else yet. I thought ya might like a heads up on two extra mouths ta feed. How are you, Kasumi?"

"Worried about you and Akane," came the straight, frank answer. "Where did you sleep last night? You weren't in the spare room."

He pointed up to the roof. "On the roof. Drat! I left the blanket up there. Oh, well, I'll bring it down before breakfast, 'Sumi. Speaking of which, do ya need any help? With breakfast, I mean."

"Thank you, Ranma, that would be nice."

Ranma was a competent cook, easily able to assist Kasumi. This had been the result of his father's indifference to creating, yet desire for consuming, good food. Besides, it had cut down on the times they'd had to run away when the elder Saotome would give into his greed and steal something. Barry suspected that it had cut down on the number of fiancées as well. Barry let Ranma's body go through almost reflexive maneuvers in the kitchen while catching up on the home front.

Nabiki was at the university majoring in business and accounting, which she planned to augment with another degree in corporate law. The middle Tendo had many complaints about the size of her room and the habits of her fellow freshman, a political science major named Suka Asimoto. A neighbor had a new daughter, very cute, reminding her of Akane as a baby. Pantyhose Taro had stopped by looking for Happosai, but had been surprisingly restrained when Kasumi informed him that he had been gone for at least a week. Uncle Saotome had been over several times to play Shogi. But, in Kasumi's opinion, it had been too quiet around the house lately and her father had been growing reclusive. Now that Ranma and Akane were back, things would be more interesting and perhaps he would feel better.

Barry grinned. Taro was one of Ranma's most dangerous opponents, but even he behaved around Kasumi.

"Oh, Miss Hinako stopped by Friday with Akane's homework. She said she would visit your parents as well."

"Still hoping to catch Father Tendo, eh?"

"Well… Actually, I think she's going to be your homeroom teacher again," Kasumi replied, frowning. "You were supposed to have Mr. Hasegawa, but I understand he suddenly decided to take a sabbatical."

"Poor jerk." Barry considered this. Mr. Hasegawa would have been perfect to use as a study guide for some of the information he needed, a true academic, if rather distractible, with a passion for folklore and the arcane.

"Who's replacing him as history instructor?"

"A Mrs. Morisato," Kasumi replied. "I haven't met her yet. She's to take over the junior class in Miss Hinako's place."

Hmmm… No help, there; a new instructor and, knowing the Pineapple Fruitcake, at least as dangerous as the ki-vampire. Have to wait and see… Wait a minute…

"Ranma?" Kasumi's look made Barry feel distinctly uncomfortable. "Is everything… I mean you and Akane…" She wrung her hands faintly, looking distressed. "When she left she had such high hopes, but when I saw her before you went looking for Ukyo…"

Barry sighed. Actually, things had gone very well between Ranma and Akane. Unfortunately, things had not finished well for Ranma. "It's been pretty strange, Kasumi." He didn't think he could lie to her, not and live with himself. But he was reluctant to tell her what had really happened. "Ryoga showed up after he left here. Akane found out about P-chan."

"Oh, my!" Kasumi looked like she was about to cry. "W-what about P-p-chan?"

Somehow, Kasumi's absolutely rotten attempt at dissembling made him feel better. He wagged a chiding finger at her and smiled when she looked away embarrassed. "Hey! It was a good thing in the long run. Ryoga would have been found out eventually. Akane worked out her anger and everyone made up." He passed her some seasoning. "We even got a lot of training done. Akane's getting really good."

"Actually," Kasumi broke in, determined not to remain distracted, "I was asking about how you and Akane are doing?" She added the seasoning and returned it. "When you came back, Akane looked like someone died."

"No one and nothing died, Kasumi. Things are just a lot more complicated than we'd like them." He snorted. "Like that's anything new." He thought a moment more. "Say, with Nabiki gone, who is gonna keep the house accounts?"

"I was hoping Akane would," Kasumi said a little tightly "She has to learn sometime if she's inheriting the dojo." Her face lightened when Barry nodded.

"Yeah, she's good at math, and hopefully I can keep the extra expenses down this year with Ryoga behaving himself. Now if only I could convince Shampoo to use doors." He took the prepared plate of fruit and pickled vegetables and slid it into the refrigerator to keep while Kasumi moved on to the actual cooking.

"What about the other girls?" Kasumi asked reproachfully. "You really need to make things clear…"

"Kasumi," Barry sighed, "Shampoo will turn into a raving homicidal lunatic if I 'make things clear'. Kodachi _is_ a raving homicidal lunatic! Ukyo… I need to sound her out on the adoption thing. She's kinda fragile right now." He couldn't look Kasumi in the eyes. "I don't want to set her off and maybe make it worse."

"But if you don't do something, you two will never…"

"Never say never, 'Sumi."

He glided to the kitchen door and listened carefully. He extended his ki sense throughout the house. Akane was still quiescent in her room and Soun was only beginning to stir. His search found two objects with wires that he traced back to Nabiki's room, but she had taken her eavesdropping equipment with her and the devices were detached and unpowered.

"What's wrong, Ranma?" Kasumi's voice was full of concern.

"Just paranoid. Akane and I are real tired of folks pushin' at us. We're friends of sorts, though ya wouldn't know it ta look at us. Our plans just don't include marriage yet." He grinned at her, while inside Barry felt himself shrivel. 'Why in hell did I have to get in the way!' he thought. 'Damn, damn, damn!' He sensed movement then and added, "I think yer dad is up."

"Yes. He'll do a workout in the dojo first and take a bath." She glanced at him pointedly. "Why don't you go get one while he's out there, so you're ready for school?"

"But…"

"Go get a bath!" she said sternly. "And don't forget about that blanket." She smiled. "Remember, you'll need to stop by your parent's house for your books."

"Oh, jeez! I promised to help Ryoga get ta school, too." He shot out the door of the kitchen and dodged past Soun on the stairs. Ignoring the older man's exclamation of surprise, he pounded on Akane's door. "Hey, tomboy! Get ready for school!"

Akane's wretched sleep changed into a wretched foggy wakefulness. Ranma's voice and the pounding on her door urged her up, and she slowly dragged on her running clothes for her morning exercise. As she began her warm-up exercises in the yard, a wet-haired Ranma skidded to a halt and informed her of the morning's schedule, including the fact that he had to pick up Ranma's books at the Saotome's. He hopped on one foot, pulling on the other slipper and added they'd be stopping after school at the Nekohanten to see if Cologne had returned.

Then he was gone.

She almost went back to bed. Every night since Himamashi's, she tried to tell herself that this was a bad dream and that Ranma was not gone and that everything would be better when she woke up. Every morning she woke up, half convinced that it wasa bad dream, only to have some remark of Barry's smash over her like a bucket of cold water. If only Ranma had been captured by some ninja cult, or imprisoned by some stupid matrimonially-inclined princess…

But there was no direct action she could take to rescue him (or herself) from the worry and doubt she felt. She clenched her fists and chanted to herself: 'From now on, we search for Ranma! From now on…" She jogged out the main gate and looked at the familiar streets, wondering what life would have been like without Ranma. That thought was like a spark. No matter what else, Ranma had happened. Nothing would ever be the same. She took three steps and leaped to a rooftop. Her morning jog was replaced by a Ranma-style obstacle course above the streets of Nerima.

Barry jumped lightly down and glided up the walkway to the Saotome front door. Ranma had thought long and hard about how he would treat his mother, now that she knew about his curse and he didn't have to hide anymore. Barry intended to follow his lead. He had stopped at an early opening baker's and a flower shop before coming here. He knocked and waited for an answer.

"Who is it? Ranma!"

"Mornin', Momma."

As expected, Nodoka answered the door. She embraced her son and pulled him gladly into the house. "Aren't you going to hug me back?" she asked almost shyly. He blushed. Ranma's mother was an extremely attractive woman about the same age as Barry's wife. He felt like he was taking advantage of the situation.

"Ummm… I didn't want to break anything." He waved the packages he held in each of his hands and cursed at how lame his words sounded.

"How sweet." She held out her cheek for a kiss in lieu of the hug. He winced as he played his role and she giggled. "Where did you go? When did you get back? Did you find Ukyo? What did she think about the offer to adopt her?"

"Whoa, Momma! I can only answer one question at a time," he smiled, speaking in a low voice.

"Dear," came a deep disembodied voice from further back in the house, "I think I'll visit Tendo today after I… (ahem!) …check out some of these jobs from the paper." Barry recognized Genma's voice and glanced quickly at Nodoka. Her face had resolved into a disappointed blandness that reflected her lack of faith in her husband. It tore his heart to see it. He glided in to pay respects to Ranma's father.

Genma sat sipping a cup of coffee, a paper open before him in much the same way Soun did in the morning. Barry was unimpressed. Ranma didn't read the paper often, but he knew what sections Genma liked. He had one of them, in fact. Barry felt claws of ki form in annoyance. Genma started as a square section out of the center of the paper suddenly shredded like confetti. He found himself looking into the scowling features of his only child.

"What jobs would they be, Pops? Taking up professional sports?"

"Ranma!" Genma boggled at the young man before jamming his glasses back against the bridge of his nose. "So, what the Master said was true."

He sweated, as Ranma's scowl became deeper. "The freak? He didn't leave Himamashi's without fixin' it, did he?"

"Oh, he's still there! They called you per an agreement you made. Happosai was in the background complaining quite loudly. You put the fear of the gods into him, son." He swallowed. "But at what cost to yourself?"

Trying to conceal nervousness, Barry straightened up. Genma Saotome had, after all, trained Ranma for ten years. If anyone were likely to notice any changes, it would be this man. He was also the one individual that he would never trust with the secret of Ranma's disappearance.

"This…" The bald martial artist indicated the shredded paper. "This could only have been done with the Nekoken." Suddenly he launched himself across the table, catching Barry about the waist, and trying to drag him into a submission hold. "Oh, son! Can it be true?" He sobbed in hypocritical theatrics. "Have you finally overcome the madness, the horror, the inhumanity after all these years?"

"Get off me!" Barry broke the hold and slammed Genma face down into the table. He turned an apologetic face to Ranma's mother. "Sorry, Momma, but I don't have time fer this. Where did Miss Hinako put my stuff?" He dodged another grab at his ankles.

"I put it all with your bag upstairs in your room, dear."

Barry felt Genma get a grip and let Ranma's reflexes flow more strongly. He reversed the hold and spun 'Pops' out the front door to land in a heap.

"Thanks, Momma!" He leaped up the stairs in two strides grabbed his bookbag and descended in a glide down the banister. Genma was just rising from his sprawl on the stoop, so he decided to use him as a stepping-stone.

"Isn't it a little early for school, dear?" Nodoka asked.

Barry turned, keeping Genma underfoot where he could keep track of him. "I'm helpin' Ryoga get ta school, Momma. He has a little trouble with directions."

"I see."

"Momma, we've got a lot of schoolwork to catch up and we've got a project that may take some time." Barry braced himself. Nodoka was weird in some ways, so he had to make sure that his actions were not misunderstood. "I'll need to stay at the Tendo's until we're done. I'm sorry if…"

"You have my full permission to court Akane—_urf! _Barry bounced hard on Genma's back.

"Butt out, old man!"

"Ranma, you should be more respectful of your father," Nodoka said sharply. "Address him as 'Honored Father'."

"Yes, Momma. Sorry, Momma." He looked down. "Butt out, Honored Father."

"Much better," Nodoka said approvingly.

"I'm not courtin' Akane, at least, not right now. We're in our senior year and we really oughta be decidin' about college and things like that. We're gonna be busy…"

"Ranma, in the name of your family's honor, I demand that you set a date—_urf_!" Barry bounced again.

"Honored Father," Barry said with extreme sarcasm. "You have no right to talk to me about honor. It was because of me that Ukyo went into a depression and wandered around out of her head for a month. Ukyo could have died. We were just lucky Ryoga found her. If she had run into the avalanche like we did, she would have. If she had gone a few more days up in those mountains without food or shelter she'd be in the hospital now." Genma grunted under his feet. A glance at Nodoka's face showed that it had gone white. "I don't even know if I want to tell her about the adoption idea right now."

"You were in an avalanche?" Nodoka quavered.

"I'm all right, Momma," he said gently, hopping off Genma. Barry looked at Nodoka and tried to see her as a raving lunatic ready to cut off her son's head if he wasn't 'manly'. He suspected that Genma had exaggerated that threat as he had exaggerated many things. "Some new ki techniques got us out of trouble."

He glanced at the clock on the wall. "Oh, jeez! I'm late! Tell ya all about it later!" He leaped away. Groaning, Genma rose to his feet and hobbled into the house. As he passed Nodoka, who was still staring after her son, she spoke.

"Dearest?" Something in the tone made Genma sweat.

"Yes, dear?" She pivoted slowly toward him, her smile never changing as her eyes caught his.

"You mentioned something about the 'madness, horror, and inhumanity' of the Nekoken and how Ranma managed to overcome it after 'all these years'." Genma stepped back swallowing. "Dearest, just what is the Nekoken?"

"Ummm…" A cold wind seemed to blow up Genma's spine.

Barry had banged on Ryoga's door only twice when it popped open.

"Why hello, Ranma."

"Akari? When did you get here?"

"This morning. I called last night and talked to Ryoga."

"I… see…" This was one determined lady. "Katsunishiki with ya?"

"Of course!"

They finally got to school. The sudden appearance of Furinken's two most notorious students would have brought out the gawkers anyway. But there was more, much more. The possibilities had just about hit maximum and Ranma and Akane weren't even through the gate yet.

Barry grinned and ribbed Ryoga again about how it looked like the girl-magnet moniker would have to be transferred from Ranma to him.

"What a reputation you'll have, man," he whispered. "Nabiki, Ukyo, Akari…"

"Will you shut up?" Ryoga swung a backhand.

"Ranma!"

"Oh, hell!" Barry flinched and glanced back at Akane and Akari who were sending glares his way. "You'd think that once a guy proved himself ta be straight…"

"Maybe Ranma has," Ryoga smirked at him, "but Barry Barlowe still has some proving to do."

"It's probably the eyes," Barry said matter-of-factly.

"What?" Ryoga tried to equate 'eyes' with Barry proving himself.

"The girls probably like your eyes, Ryoga." Ryoga looked like he was about to have apoplexy.

"Nihau!"

"Hi, Shampoo." Barry did a double-take. "Shampoo?"

"You like?" She twirled in place, showing off her Furinken uniform.

"It must be the eyes," Ryoga said, enjoying Barry's discomfort.

"Shut up, P-chan!" He massaged his temples and tried to figure out how he could work this into his overloaded schedule. He glanced back at Akane, who was doing a good imitation of a volcano preparing to blow.

"Grandmother send greetings. Come back early. Shampoo tell how airen help Shampoo learn correct Japanese custom. Grandmother say maybe Shampoo try Japanese edu-cation also." She suddenly snuggled up against him. "Shampoo want thank airen much-much. Want see how much?"

Ryoga snickered and turned back to Akari to give her a solemn goodbye. As Barry mentally and physically backpedaled, he saw Konatsu bowing to Ukyo and assuring her he would return with the grill at lunchtime.

"Ah, ummm… Shampoo, this is not the right way to go about…" He flinched away from a glomp. "Remember what I told you!"

"Shampoo remember," she said brightly. "Just want airen remember what could have been." The pink tip of her tongue showed between even, white teeth as she purred at him. He shuddered and Shampoo immediately apologized, thinking his ailurophobia had caused him to misinterpret her actions.

"Yeah, right," he replied unsteadily. He flinched again as Akane stomped up.

"What are you doing here, Shampoo!" she demanded.

"Go school, learn speak Japanese better." She smirked. "What you do here, pervert-girl?"

As Akane struggled for control, chimes called students to their homerooms. Barry reached out and took both girls by the arms, leading them toward the doors. He nervously tried to insert conversation into the rising potential for violence he sensed.

"Hey, at least Kuno won't be buggin' us this year," he offered as his captives boggled at him. "Since we don't have to fight our way to class, we shouldn't have much bucket duty either."

"Bucket duty?" Shampoo asked startled. "What bucket duty?"

Surprisingly, it worked. Barry slowly began detailing customs and actions that Shampoo should be aware of at Furinken. Deciding that identifying a common enemy might get Akane and Shampoo to tone down the animosity, he mentioned the principal. "He's the Pineapple Fruitcake in my book," he said darkly. "What ever ya do, Amazon, watch yer hair around him! He's a nut about long hair."

Akane nodded. "Sometimes I think he'd be happier if everyone was shaved bald." Shampoo's eyes went round.

"Why he do that?" she demanded then hesitated. "Is crazy man with tree on head?" They nodded. "How he become honored position?"

"Money," suggested Akane.

"Who knows, Shampoo," Barry said. "He was away for several years. Maybe before he left he wasn't as strange. Maybe he actually deserved respect once."

"He crazy big-time now!"

"How would the Amazons deal with something like this?" asked Akane when Shampoo voiced her disapproval. The purple-haired girl looked startled.

"Not know. Grandmother know." She looked thoughtful. "Elders chosen for life by very dangerous, very difficult tests. Must prove good enough to make decisions. Must later deserve honor of Matriarch."

"You don't know?" Akane demanded, focusing on the other girl's first statement. "I thought you of all people would know your own laws."

"Akane know all Japan laws?" came back the saccharin inquiry.

Akane, caught out, blushed. "No. I'm sorry. That was unfair of me."

"It okay," Shampoo said simply.

They came to the homeroom door and Barry waved them in ahead of him. Hiroshi and Daisuke watched like starving men at a smorgasbord as the girls passed by.

"Don't do it, Dai," Barry warned.

Daisuke jerked his hand away from Shampoo's backside. "You wouldn't hit me would you, Ranma?"

"Not me! Shampoo's another matter." They turned and looked at Shampoo who smiled at them evilly. "The uniform don't change a thing. Never touch an Amazon unless she asks ya to." He grinned at Ranma's friends. "And if she asks ya, ask yerself _why_ she's askin' ya."

"Boy ask if want touch Shampoo?" Daisuke turned as the Amazon came back their way. He looked like he wanted to melt.

"Uhhh… Another thing, Shampoo, I think most of the guys in the school want to date ya. Ya can fight to defend yerself, but no killin' and no permanent injury. Try for painful and embarrassin'."

"Okay. Is like training challenge." She smiled evilly at Daisuke and walked away again.

"She wouldn't really have…" Hiroshi muttered as he watched the seductive sway of her hips.

"Ya really don't wanna know, man." Barry watched appreciatively. "She does that well though, don't she?" He coughed as he caught Akane's glower. Hiroshi nodded then turned in his direction.

"Hey, Ranma! I hope you know who's in homeroom this year…"

"Jeez! That's right," Barry exclaimed smacking a fist into his palm. "_Kami_! If Shampoo's still got her 'kiss of death' goin' against Hinako… Thanks, guys!" He hurried after the Amazon.

"Man, he's nervous-like." Daisuke commented.

"Oh, well. He'll find out soon enough." Hiroshi agreed.

Barry, Akane, Ryoga, Ukyo and Shampoo stood at the front of the room as Miss Hinako called the class to order.

"Great! Vampire-teacher is homeroom monitor," Shampoo grumbled in a whisper to the pigtailed young man beside her.

"Shhh!" he returned. "Ya ain't still plannin' on killin' her, are you?"

"Great-grandmother say must forgive. Not fair."

"Will you two be quiet? I don't want drained my first day back," growled Akane softly. She gulped as Hinako frowned their way.

"Mr. Saotome? I want you to take this seat in the middle here. Miss Tendo?" Hinako smiled at a student she honestly liked. "Please sit to Ranma's right. I've been saving these seats especially with you in mind." Akane glanced at Ranma, then Shampoo and took her seat. Hinako sucked noisily at a lollipop while Shampoo began to worry. Frowning she made several marks in a ledger. She turned to Ukyo.

"Are you all right, Miss Kuonji?" she asked gently. "I spoke with Miss Konatsu while you were gone." Ukyo nodded and gave her a little smile. "Please sit in front of Ranma." Ukyo nodded and took her seat, while Barry tried hard not to snort at the 'Miss Konatsu' error common in Nerima.

"Mr. Hibiki?"

"Y-yes, ma'am?" He sweated as she frowned at him.

"Where were you last year?"

Ryoga gulped. "I, uh… get lost real easy."

"Your test scores show that you can place as a senior, but your math work is below acceptable standards. I suggest you find a tutor among your fellow students or arrange for a professional tutor," she said gravely. "Sit in front of Miss Kuonji and try not to get lost anymore." He sat.

Then she turned to focus on the Amazon. "You are a new student?"

Shampoo nodded. "Am Shampoo," she told the little girl. "From China," she added.

Hinako looked at her more closely. "Oh, don't worry, dear, I remember you," Hinako smirked, slurping on her sucker.

Shampoo gulped. "Am sorry; Great-grandmother say Shampoo must forgive teacher."

"You do that! We don't want you to be delinquent, after all," Hinako caroled. She nodded as Shampoo, remembering the warning, cringed a little. "I don't have you in my little book here though." Shampoo opened her book bag and pulled out a set of documents. Hinako took them and scanned them in a manner entirely at odds with her appearance. "Oh… I see! Sham-chan, you should have taken these to the office before you came to class."

Shampoo winced at the 'cute' name Hinako gave her. Then looked askance as she heard a crunch. Miss Hinako looked sorrowfully at her lollipop stick. "Rats!" she muttered. "Does anyone want to show Sham-chan where the office…" Her eyebrows hit her hairline at the hormonal roar that came from the male section of the class. "Did I hear some ba-a-ad delinquents?"

To Shampoo, the little teacher sounded like a kitten growling, but the boys in the class sunk back shaken and pale. Ranma sat in his seat shaking his head at his classmates' manners.

"I'll show Shampoo the way myself! So there! _Nyah_!"

She grabbed Shampoo's hand and tugged her skipping out of the room. "Be back, so don't be bad, all you students, you!"

Akane grinned maniacally at the look on Shampoo's face as she left in Hinako's wake. Everyone started to talk, the boys about Shampoo, the girls about where Ranma and Akane had been the last two weeks.

Suddenly, Hinako's head popped back in the room. The silence was deafening. "Since English is first period, please read chapters fifteen and sixteen of Melville's classic, 'Moby Dick', while I'm gone. _Bai-bai_!"

Grumbling, they found the books, the chapters and began to try to pick out the meaning of the words. Barry simply stuck his head on his hand and looked over Akane's shoulder to get a general idea about what part of Melville's book it was. He had already read it... several times. Besides, Ranma would have shown little interest in English fictional literature.

Barry chuckled a little to himself. Ranma's life had been one of constant striving for personal physical excellence. He actually was a closet geek in a way, provided that the learning involved could be applied to improving his martial arts. It was one of the reasons he broke his 'no-fiction' rule with the Dragonball-Z manga and animé. Their energy techniques were so similar to his own kitechniques that he thought he might be inspired by the show. Of course, the entertainment value of the show had nothing to do with it. _Not_!

Shampoo returned to class, loaded down with a ton of books and papers and practically waddled to her desk. As Miss Hinako had not yet returned, the class grew less and less interested in the 'White Whale' and more so in gossip.

Akane tried to ignore the growing noise and grumbled her way through the indicated work, speaking the words to herself to make sure she understood their meaning. Barry knew that if she needed to, she could make herself clearly understood in any English-speaking land. She was one of Miss Hinako's best students in this subject.

Ukyo worked through her chapters with far less confidence. She was an entrepreneur, not a linguist.

As Barry expected, Ryoga was reading through at a reasonable pace, only occasionally mouthing an unfamiliar word. Barry suspected this would have been the case had they been reading Chinese, Urdu, Sanskrit or Egyptian hieroglyphics.

The sudden dead silence behind him made him turn to see what had gotten everyone's attention.

Shampoo had stowed away her study material and had read the two, admittedly short, chapters. She had decided to start reviewing the previous material in the book and her visible methods had shocked the rest of the class. She was tearing through the book, not with her bare hands, but scanning at a rate of about five pages per minute. Barry gaped. He was a natural speed-reader himself. But English was notShampoo's native language, and this was far beyond his speed. If she was really grasping the content of what she read, what it implied about Shampoo was more than a little intimidating.

Shampoo noticed his regard and faltered.

"Is wrong?" she asked worried.

He shook his head and carefully closed his mouth. "Ah… Let me think about it, Shampoo. Are you… really reading that fast?" He felt a bit of relief when she shook her head.

"No, Ranma. Just take pictures with mind. Read when dream tonight. Is Amazon learning technique." Barry stared at her and boggled again.

"Why don't they have us read something new?" complained Ukyo, not noticing the reduction of noise or Shampoo's statement. "What does 'terraqueous' mean?"

"What's a quahog?" Akane muttered. She glanced over at Barry, wondering if he might have a clue, scowled when she found him turned around facing Shampoo and then caught Shampoo's speed demonstration. She gaped.

Barry pulled his gaze away from Shampoo-the-martial-arts-speed-reader. He was peripherally aware that someone was sitting down in the empty desk beside him, but even with the information about Shampoo's computer skills, this demonstration had captured his attention. He wondered if this was part of a trap to entice Ranma into trying to learn some new technique from the old ghoul. If so, it was one that had him shaken as well!

"I think it's a fish of some kind that you can eat," Ryoga said to no one in particular. "They talk about 'crabs' and 'mackerel', too, and I know what they are."

Barry shook his head again dazed by the possibilities. He overheard Ryoga's answer and absently confirmed his guess. "A quahog's a big clam that lives on tidal flats on North America's East Coast. Ugly lookin' thing." He flinched as the entire room suddenly focused on Ranma Saotome. He sweated. Playing a dumb jock was going to be harder than he thought. "What!" he demanded defensively, with a scowl. If only he could learn Shampoo's reading technique, or better, get Ryoga to learn it, they could probably crack his and Ranma's location problems in a tenth the time.

With snickers, the class returned to their gossip and complaining, leaving Shampoo to her Amazon thing and Ranma to his shooting-off-his-mouth-again thing. Shampoo smiled slightly, coyly, and continued her reading.

"It is always such a pity to throw pearls of wisdom before a swinish audience," murmured a voice in his ear. His reaction to that familiar, dangerous voice caused his muscles to lock and shake for an instant, vibrating his desk audibly. Shampoo, Ryoga, Ukyo and Akane all turned from their reading to see why he had made such an odd sound.

"_Aiya_!"

"Damn!"

"Whoa!"

"What are you doing here?"

The object of their regard ignored them all.

"I've been waiting for you for weeks, Ranma-darling!" she said, resting her head on her hands on the back of her chair. Kodachi Kuno garbed in the green and white of Furinkan High School gazed at her lodestar with an entirely pleased expression glinting in her violet eyes.

* * *

Ranma lay tucked into bed, pillows under his knees and behind his back, when Gwen came in with some tea. He found himself flinching slightly, every time she appeared. Barry and Gwen lived with their six-year-old son in an apartment they had set up in the basement of her mother's house, partly from economics and partly so Gwen could look after her mother, who was terminally ill.

When they had reached home, their son, Brendan, had wrapped around his knees the minute he arrived. It had been with difficulty that he and Gwen convinced him that Daddy wasn't up to playing that day.

"You usually don't like tea, but here it is," she said. Ranma gawked at the huge, liter-sized mug, then nodded. America was sure different. He had nearly panicked when Gwen had pulled out onto the right side of the road. In Japan, cars drove on the left. The countryside was beautiful, another surprise. He had always thought America was some sort of over-industrialized garbage pit.

Gwen had suggested a hot shower to wash the dirt from his body and apply some therapeutic heat to sore muscles. Ranma understood the western concept of a shower and the idea appealed to him. A good soak in a furo would have been even more welcome, but Barry's memories revealed that most American tubs were little more than long hipbaths. He had been shocked at the shower situation; he nearly jumped out of his skin when Gwen had stepped into the oversized stall with him to wash his back.

But now he was finally getting comfortable. He did have rather more tea than he needed… He sipped and almost choked. _This_ was tea? It was sweet for one thing… Alarms went off as Gwen sat down on the bed next to him.

"Are you feeling better, luv?" He shivered at the word. Normally, she called her husband 'sweetheart'. What was she up to?

She held out a prescription bottle. He vaguely remembered the doctor at the emergency room suggesting that he take one every four hours as needed for the pain. He had almost laughed. He had endured far worse than this from his own father. "You see this?" she asked.

"What about it?"

"I want you to take one and try to get some sleep."

"Huh?" Ranma glanced from her to the pills. "No way!"

"Yes, way," she asserted firmly. "You need to get some sleep and these will help you relax."

"Don't wanna," he said right back. He wouldn't be able to center this body and kick in the healing techniques unless he was conscious. He remembered what he and Barry were setting up to do when he got thrown into this. "Do we have any books on ki or…" What was that word Barry had used…ah! "…or parapsychology around?"

Gwen looked at him blankly.

He smiled tightly. She continued to give him a long, evaluating look.

"You are taking this medicine."

"Heh-heh! No, I'm not."

Suddenly, she got a soft, longing look on her face. To his extreme discomfort, she leaned very close. "Won't you take it for me?" she cooed at him. She moved closer still. Barry's body began to react to the display of affection. It was _deja vu_ in a weird, slant-wise, sort of way. He and Barry had taken off for the wilds in fear of Barry's inadvertent use of Ranma's martial arts training and reflexes. Now he felt disaster looming as the result of Barry's _marital_ arts training, ten years of marriage to this woman, in fact, with another eight before that exclusively dating her.

Ranma sought desperately for control. He tried not to remember what he had seen in the shower and what this body had thought about it. He considered making a break for it. He was dead meat if he didn't find a way back home, and _soon_!

He reached out and took the bottle from her fingers. Quickly, he uncapped it, coincidentally destroying the childproof lock. He flipped the pill in his mouth, chugged a gulp of the hot tea and swallowed painfully. She smiled, patted his cheek, winked and retreated. Things slowly went black from there.


	23. Recipe for Change

**Guest Ki: Chapter 22**

_**Recipe for Change**_

"You transferred?" It wasn't really a question. Barry wondered how he could have been so distracted as to miss Kodachi's entrance to the room and her approach.

"Of course, Ranma-darling. Why whither away in that drearyCatholic school, when the center of my universe is within my reach? Ohohohohohoho…" Her soft laughter caused the hairs to rise on the heads of nearby students. Barry, buffered by Ranma's experience, groaned. The entrance of Miss Hinako interrupted further dangerous discussion.

"Anybody bad while I was gone?" Everyone sat silently. Barry sweated. He felt like an animal in a trap. He was surrounded on all sides by Ranma's fiancées, official or not. Barry wondered if the Saotomes were related to someone named Murphy. "All right. Shampoo? Could you come to the front of the class and introduce yourself?"

The purple-haired girl bounced to the front, to the enjoyment of the males in the class. She turned, performed a sketchy bow and smiled cheerfully.

"Am Xian Pu from Bayan Har Shan in China. You say Shampoo and Bayan Kala Mountains. Am Joketsuzoku, woman warrior. Shampoo's people live in Matriarchy, where woman make rule because tired of dumb-boy mistakes."

The girls in the class giggled at this and looked aside at favorite targets. "Am strong martial artist, like sports, like music, no much like Japanese fashions, sorry!" She dipped a curtsy and continued. "Know many boys want date. No can do. Amazon choose mate, unless lose to outsider male." She looked pointedly at Ranma and ignored Akane's low growl. "Am done." She bounced another sketchy bow and returned to her seat.

"Thank you, Shampoo. Now, if everyone would please open their books to the beginning of chapter fourteen."

As Kodachi tried to pass him a note, Barry took a page from Ranma's book and slowly and methodically began to beat his head on the desk.

They met the new history teacher just before lunch. When she walked in, even Akane, did a double take. She didn't really look like Kasumi Tendo, but… Mrs. Morisato smiled gently at the rowdy class and cleared her throat. That simply, she had everyone's attention.

Barry felt himself straighten in his chair and noticed that everyone else in the room was also unconsciously attempting to present their best behavior and appearance. He gave Mrs. Morisato a second look, definitely a Kasumi-type. She seemed to be a beautiful woman in her mid-twenties with hair that was sort-of brown with gleaming golden highlights. When you met her eyes you immediately felt as if you were the focus of every good thing in creation. He wondered whatever had possessed the Fruitcake to hire her. It was not his style of control.

After she was certain of everyone's attention, she moved to the board and pulled down a map of Japan. "I see we have some new students in the class. You may call me Mrs. Morisato. This is my first teaching position and I'm very happy to be here with all of you." She beamed at them and even Kodachi found herself smiling back. "For the new students' benefit, we're studying some of the earliest origins of the Japanese people and culture this semester; long before the samurai dominated the social and political structures of the islands. Before, properly speaking, there existed a Japan at all." Her head tilted to one side and Barry half expected a Kasumi-like 'Oh, my!' to come out of her mouth. "If you don't mind, I'll call roll from Miss Hinako's latest chart and make sure I know who everyone is."

There was of course, no objection. Barry blushed when he almost forgot to rise when she called Ranma's name. It didn't seem right, somehow. He wasn't sure what to make of this new instructor, but she would definitely bear watching. He grinned suddenly. Also, he definitely had to get Mrs. Morisato and Kasumi together in one room. Their joint cheerfulness and optimism would probably subdue Happosai, Herb or Taro, and you never knew when something like that might prove a bonus.

* * *

Lunchtime.

Barry sat quivering at one corner of a square of females determined to feed him. Unfortunately, he didn't trust any of them today.

Kodachi's was almost certain to be drugged, though her preferences tended more to local and general anesthesia, than to mind-altering drugs. He really didn't want to antagonize her too much, either. While no longer much of a direct threat to Akane, she was sneaky and very good at attacking an opponent's weaknesses. She also had no code of honor to inhibit the direction of attacks.

Shampoo's food would taste good, he was sure. She also had to be watched though, because it was well within her honor system to drug him into compliance with the airen thing. He also needed to avoid antagonizing her, especially since he was going to need at least partial Amazon cooperation for his ki research.

Akane had obviously madelunch while he was out checking on Ranma's mom and picking up Ryoga. If she followed camp rules, he was fine, but there was no way to guarantee she had.

So he sat there and pondered just what he was going to do about the situation.

"All right, I give. What's in it, 'Dachi?"

She blushed at the familiar shortening of her name. "Rice, pickles, octopus…"

"No! I mean what's _in_ it? Paralytic, hypnotic, soporific…"

"Ranma-darling, you wound me," she said pouting. "Here, I'll even taste it for you, if you don't trust me."

"Feh! I know you dose yourself with antidotes all the time."

"Shampoo always nice-nice," offered that individual. "Try Moo Go Gai Pan, Ranma!"

"You better try mine, Ranma," Akane said coolly, "At least, if you know what's good for you." She gave him a cool, calculating look when he glanced her way.

"Oh, really? Did you bring a stomach pump for desert, Tendo?" The Black Rose appeared amused at her own wit.

"What did you say?" Akane slowly rose to her feet.

"Ranma, you lucky dog," Hiroshi commented, slapping him on the shoulder. "Three gorgeous girls fighting for your attention…"

"Yeah," sighed Daisuke, looking longingly at Shampoo who frowned back.

For a brief, irrational moment, Barry was tempted to feed the offered meals to the two. Then he realized that whatever Kodachi and Shampoo decided was an appropriate dose for Ranma, it might well kill them. He wasn't that desperate yet.

"Hey, Ranma," Hiroshi interrupted his attempt at an escape plan. "After you finish eating, Dai an' me wanted your opinion on something."

"Yeah!" enthused Daisuke. "This could make us some real money."

"Uh-huh. Why do I have a bad feelin' 'bout this?" Barry queried, fixing them both with an icy glare. "Oh, well, let's get it over with." He turned back to the girls who were now all on their feet.

"Bimbo!"

"Servant!"

"Tramp!"

"Girls!" They jerked at his tone. "Remember, Hinako's standin' only twenty meters away. Yer really settin' yerselves up for a ki-draining." Akane and Shampoo subsided, but Kodachi rolled her eyes.

"Surely, Ranma-sama, you would protect me," she smirked.

They stared at her.

"Right. This is what we're going to do. Shampoo, try Kodachi's. Kodachi, try Shampoo's. Akane, if ya didn't follow camp rules, try some of yer own, carefully." He turned toward Ranma's two friends and added over his shoulder. "Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back."

"All right, you two. What's up?"

"It's great, Ranma!"

"You'll never believe it! We managed to get our hands on an actual copy of 'Vixen of Kyoto!" Dai ran the back of his hand over his face, reflexively.

Barry restrained a shudder. That… that _film_…

"It is _hot_!"

"Yeah! You've got to see this! Eeep!" Daisuke cringed as a ripple of energy visibly flickered about the shoulders of his pigtailed friend.

"Sorry, Dai." He licked his lips. What were these two up to? "This the movie with… the performer who looks somethin' like my girl-type, right?"

"Oh, your girl-type is way cuter," Hiroshi assured him.

"Definitely!" agreed Daisuke.

"Oh, man… I don't want ta hear anymore!" He turned away in disgust then reversed himself. "Why would Iwant ta see something' like that? What were you guys thinkin' of? Holdin' a private showin' with me servin' refreshments and gettin' my butt pinched, while a bunch of you losers drool in your seats?" They gulped at the look on his face. "Well have fun, but do it without me!" He stalked away; hoping his opposition to the idea would make them drop it. Now to stop by Ucchan's grill and get something to tide him over what was sure to be a disaster.

"But…" Hiroshi stared after Ranma.

"You know, that wasn't a bad idea," muttered Daisuke. "Wish we'd thought of that."

"Too late now," sighed his friend. He felt a muscle in his arm. "Are we losers, Dai?"

"By Ranma's standards? Definitely." They looked at one another. "What are we gonna do about it?" They looked at one another's less than impressive physiques.

"Let's bulk up."

"No time like the present."

"To the weight-room!" they cried.

Barry patted his stomach and waved to Ucchan as he walked back to the tree. He had told her of the trouble and she had had pity on him. He was still upset about Hiroshi and Daisuke. He slowed, taking a couple of deep cleansing breaths for control. His third breath caught in his throat.

Shampoo was flat on her back. Kodachi had her face in her hands and sat quietly to one side. Akane had a peculiar, red-faced, cross-eyed expression that did not bode well for her lunch either. He sighed and knelt before her first.

"You okay?"

"Too much pepper sauce," she choked out.

"Everything considered, that's pretty good, Akane," he said gently. She glared. "It was a weird morning. You'll get it next time."

He moved over to Shampoo, touching her arm. He quickly withdrew his hand as she shivered and faintly arched her back.

"Yo, Shampoo?" She writhed faintly before becoming still again. It looked like she… He dropped into ki-vision and verified that the wheels of energy that defined her sensory system, especially her pleasure centers, were three or four times as bright as they should be. Scowling he turned to Kodachi. "What about you, Kodachi?"

"A delicate and surprisingly powerful derivation of an unidentified valley orchid." She dropped her hands and gazed lovingly into his face. Her eyes seemed to glow. "Quite delightful, I must say, and gender specific. I'll have to see about importing some. Ooohohoho." She wrapped steely arms around his neck before he could retreat. A growl from behind them made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

"Kodachi," he asked quietly, trying to ignore the Akane threat. "What was in your lunch and what did it do to Shampoo?"

"A compound derived from my roses, of course," she answered languidly. "A little different, this time, since we were going to be in public. Shampoo thought to deprive you of the lunch I prepared for…"

"She ate the whole thing?"

"Shampoo was redefining unladylike," Akane said in disgust.

Barry tried to restrain a grin. It would be so-o-o easy to honk off everyone conscious by exclaiming 'a girl after my own heart!' He turned his attention back to Kodachi. "The antidote, Kodachi?"

"She's not in any pain," Kodachi observed, trying to maneuver him to a prone position with subtle leverage.

"If ya actually managed to get me down," he murmured, more serious now, as he thought of the possible consequences, "Hinako would have us both drained before ya did anything."

"That's if I didn't get to you firstRanma!" Barry rolled his eyes toward Akane and froze. She looked damn serious and had her mallet out. Kodachi gazed briefly at her without a hint of concern.

"Damn! I would speak to my father about that little girl, if I thought it would do any good." She sighed and released him to fumble in her purse. "Here."

"Thank you." He looked at the small vial. "Ya drink it, right?"

"It is usually easiest that way," Kodachi murmured, blushing.

Barry scanned it cautiously with his ki-sense before administering about half the contents of the vial. After a minute, as Shampoo sighed and relaxed, he gave her half of what was left, watching the course of the antidote through the Amazon's body.

Shampoo blinked up at Ranma and shuddered. She really wanted him, but she felt disturbingly weak… She sat up suddenly and put a hand to her head as the world spun around in a pleasant manner. With Akane and her new training behind that mallet, Shampoo would have to be careful. Even Ranma was not invulnerable.

"Shampoo?"

"Ranma," she breathed with longing, starting to reach for him. She stopped when Akane twitched.

"Do you have the antidote for the stuff Kodachi got?"

"No." She wobbled and pouted as Barry frowned. "No need, only last hour or so." She smiled and pointed to him. "Want give Ranma big hug, but no want pervert-girl to hit." She wobbled some more and giggled. "Feel drunk. Hey, hyena-girl! You get hangover from this?" She pointed to herself and toppled over.

"No, you meatball head," Kodachi sniffed disdainfully. The sniff turned into a snicker, which continued until Kodachi was almost in tears. Barry heard her say something about a 'reenee' and 'maxied mini-moon', which made no sense at all to him. Akane was visibly irritated and sweating, holding her mallet warily before her.

"Can I hit them?" she asked, as Shampoo crawled over to Kodachi and giggled about 'in your dreams'. Actually, she was quite upset that her two biggest, personal villains obviously watched and enjoyed the same animé she did.

"Akane," came the dry reply, "you hit 'em now, they might get entirely the wrong idea."

* * *

Ryoga Hibiki stood off to one side and watched for a change. He could tell that something stupid was happening with Ranma's fiancées. However, for once, he was out of it. He only kept an eye on Akane out of habit and no longer felt the need to rush to her defense. She could very nearly defend him now. Not that he needed it, of course. He wasn't the one with demons, mystic princes and what-have-you coming to visit all the time.

His thoughts were interrupted as Akari handed him another morsel from the meal he was picking at. He accepted it with a smile and basked briefly in the smile he received in return. Akari was such a nice girl and somehow that was the trouble. Even watching her compete against Jani-san in the Ramen Noodle Wrestling hadn't changed his basic image of her as fragile and in need of protection. And he felt so… _clumsy_ around her... afraid of what he might do to break her fragile heart.

In fact, across the lawn was one of the stones in his life that could easily kick up and do the damage. Ukyo Kuonji flipped okonomiyaki and chattered easily with her customers. The image was at odds with that kiss in the woods. He felt himself blush and strove to concentrate on Akari's words.

"…so sad when I watch Ranma over there, trying to get his life together," she was saying. "Anyone can tell that he loves Akane, but the other girls won't take the hint."

Ryoga ruffled a little at that statement. He could have told Akari that the young man over there was really only pretending to be Ranma, but it wasn't his secret. Still he probably ought to keep an eye on Barry. Married or not, Akane was pretty and if Barry were stuck here for a while… He felt his fist clench. No stranger was going to assault Akane while Ryoga Hibiki was around! Why he'd…

"...but then, I suppose if you've never been in love, it's hard to see it in someone else." Akari sighed and laid a possessive hand on his arm.

He gulped and as was usually the case in something important, started to say one thing, only to have it fly off in another direction. "Akari… Heh-heh, heh! Um… Do you…" He intended to ask her if she loved him. Something he really wanted to know and had been trying to get up the courage to ask. Instead he finished, "…ever, you know, I mean, meet any special guys?" She looked at him in surprise.

"You mean besides you?" she asked. Ryoga blushed and looked at his toes. "When I was very small I had a special friend who lived on the next farm over. I think they were regular farmers, because Mommy and Daddy used to buy a lot of food from them, and sometimes his daddy and mine would shout at one another when the pigs got out." She shook her head wryly. "Sometimes, we'd play right under their feet while they were shouting. It didn't matter. He and Daddy were friends. Then we had an earthquake and he didn't come anymore. The farm was sold and the new people… well, they were nice, but it wasn't the same."

Ryoga put an arm around Akari and hugged her comfortingly. Almost everyone born in Japan has lost family or friends to the forces of nature within living memory. "What was his name?" he asked.

"Ryoga, we were children. He called me 'Ari' and I called him 'Kenna'. I don't remember if I was ever told his real name."

Somewhere in Nerima, a colorfully dressed individual sneezed. "Can I take your order, please?" he asked the next customer in a voice pitched high from habit.

* * *

Ukyo though nearly thirty meters away, had, with that peculiar sense developed from years of self-sufficiency, known Ryoga was looking at her. She too remembered a certain kiss and blushed again. It was quite annoying. All you had to do was look at the way Akari leaned into him, and the fact he didn't pull away blushing, and you knew this man was taken. She held no illusions that he felt anything for her, aside from the weird friendship that most of Ranma's friends and rivals developed about one another. It wasn't like they had shared that much over the past year. Well there was that onsen race… and Ranma and Akane had thought they were an item at the Cave of Lost Love. Then there was the time…

She blushed, thinking about that kiss again. As she poured the last of the batter on the grill, she looked around, only to discover that there were no more customers. Oh, well. She had gotten her own lunch in a lull earlier; now what to do with a large okonomiyaki? She threw on some toppings she knew wouldn't keep on a warm day, gave it a flourish and wandered over toward her rescuer while she waited for her grill to cool.

"Hey, Ryoga, Akari…"

"Uh… Hi, Ukyo."

"Ukyo-sama." Akari sketched a bow. Something about Ukyo made her nervous, but she didn't know what. She thought she was quite nice and Katsunishiki, whom she trusted to warn her of threats, seemed to like her, too.

"I had some batter left over and some toppings, not pork. Want a free 'yaki?"

"Um… No thanks, Ukyo; Akari made a huge lunch for me," Ryoga said.

"Thank you, no, Ukyo-sama, I ate too much already." Akari blushed. Ukyo was so nice. It was a shame about Ranma.

Katsunishiki snuffled and bumped against Ukyo's legs hopefully.

"Oh, ho!" laughed the 'yaki chef. "I have a customer." She glanced smiling at Akari. "May I?"

"Oh, dear," Akari giggled, embarrassed. "He's such a… well, he is a pig. If you don't mind?"

"I always enjoy watching someone enjoy good food." The huge sumo pig managed her treat in three bites. "Wow! Ranma has some competition!" They all laughed at that. "You know, Ryoga, I want to apologize," Ukyo said as the pig snuffled in the grass for crumbs. "I used to really lay into you about being a directionless jerk." Akari gasped, shocked. Ukyo bowed to her as well. "Sorry, but I did. I guess it is true; you gotta walk a mile in the other guys shoes an' all." She grinned and cocked her head back toward Akari. "You got one of the best, girl. Better hang on tight." She flipped her ponytail and walked away to stow her equipment for later.

"I will," Akari said to Ukyo's back. "I will."

And in the middle of the first class after lunch...

"I don't often do this, you understand, but I do apologize," offered the Black Rose, now of Furinkan High.

Shampoo just laid her head flat on her desk, ignoring calculus in lieu of damage control. "Ranma?" she croaked, temples throbbing.

"What, Shampoo?" he whispered over his shoulder.

"Not know high school so dangerous. Be more careful next time."

"I have some aspirin," offered Akane, taking pity.

* * *

The last class of the day was chemistry.

The instructor looked over the five newcomers and grumbling, set up two more equipment stations in the lab.

"We're working with partners here, students." He glanced over to where Shampoo was whispering to Kodachi about that animé. "Miss Pu? Since you seem to get along with Miss Kuno, you are now her lab partner."

"But…" Shampoo and Kodachi both protested at once, looking Ranma's way.

"This is my partner," called out Ukyo, latching onto a male arm. She did notwant paired with Akane. She blushed to her toes. Her actions had surprised even her. 'I am not chasing Ranma, I am notchasing Ranma…' she chanted. 'I can't believe I reached out and grabbed…' She looked up at 'Ranma'.

"Ryoga?"

"Very well, then Miss Tendo will pair up with Mr. Saotome."

Akane ground her teeth and sighed. It really didn't matter who she was paired up with, but it was ironic that she'd be paired with Ranma only when it really wasn't Ranma.

"Oh, hell!" muttered Barry. "What was I thinkin'?"

"What is it, Ba—…ka," she finished after a false start.

"Never mind."

"Tell me, Barry-baka," she whispered. "And stop playing Ra— …_you_ know! I don't need this," she added more introspectively.

"Sorry, Akane," he replied mournfully. "I just realized. This is _Chemistry_!"

"Well, duh-uh!" she growled. "What did you think it was?"

"You don't understand. I stink at Chemistry." His voice was clearly audible to the tables immediately around them.

"So?" she said louder and with an edge. Unnoticed by them, the other students were taking cover. Even Shampoo noticed and slid off her chair with a groan.

"So," he growled, irritated by her lack of comprehension, "Chemistry is like cookin', tomboy! Ya think yer up to it?"

(BAM!)

Barry exited the lab rather more quickly than he had entered it.

* * *

Akane ignored him as they walked toward the Nekohanten after school. Shampoo had followed Kodachi home with the invitation to see some of the latest releases of their newfound, common interest: 'Sailor Moon'. Akane would have died rather than admit it, but she would have killed to see the tapes herself. Between Ranma's absence, Barry's gaff in chemistry and the deprivation of her one entertainment interest, she was definitely in a bad mood.

When Mousse met them at the door, he immediately attacked 'that vile Saotome'. Actually, he attacked Akane; but since he wasn't wearing his glasses and Akane was pissed and needed to work out some frustration, and Barry wanted some privacy to talk to Cologne, they let him keep his illusions.

"Granny?" Barry poked his head into the kitchen. Cologne turned, her eyebrows quirking up as she followed the sounds of combat outside.

"Hello, son-in-law."

"Hey, Granny, what's the business with Shampoo usin' a love potion on the first day of school? I mean, isn't that like poachin' or something?"

"Now, now, all's fair in love and war, son-in-law," she graveled, chuckling at him. "And Amazon love often qualifies as war."

"Well, tell Shampoo when she gets back to watch out for guerrilla action from Kodachi's corner, okay? She's not tough like Shampoo, but she's probably as sneaky as you are." Cologne frowned.

"She's not with you? Then who is playing with Mousse?"

"Akane needed a little workout and I can't really imitate his style, so…"

"So. She's that much better from your little trip and Mousse isn't wearing his glasses again." She sighed, looking old. "She's planning on challenging Shampoo soon, as well?"

"I'd rather she didn't." Barry looked at the little mummy and tried to tie the conflicting feelings Ranma had for the Matriarch together. "But I'm not here about that. This is… Amazon business. And it's about somethin' I found out about Shampoo while on the rescue mission. I meant to tell ya when we got in the other night, but…"

Cologne held up a tiny hand. "Matters about Amazon women and Amazon business are not discussed with men, son-in-law."

(Sploosh!)

Barry put down the glass and smirked, tossing back her damp red bangs. "You was sayin'?"

"You're still a man, Ranma."

Barry flashed a Ranma-smile. "I could hug you for sayin' so, Granny, but that ain't gonna stop me from talkin'."

"Oh, very well." They both winced at a loud crash that shook the building.

"Anyway, I know about Shampoo's… condition."

"Condition?" Cologne shifted uneasily. "What condition?"

"Oh c'mon, Granny," Barry challenged. "Ya mean with a century or two experience on me, ya haven't a clue what's wrong with yer granddaughter?"

Cologne paled. Had that silly girl gone and… But Mousse would have been acting… Was there someone else and…

"She admitted it while we were chasin' Ukyo."

"She did?" Cologne boggled. Shampoo admitting to _that_? Still, if Ranma had suspected, the boy could be devilishly persuasive when he wanted to be. "How long…"

"How should I know?" Barry grumped. Cologne was acting like the end of the world was nigh. Weird! "But the more I thought about it, the madder I got!" she shrilled. This time they both ignored the yells and impacts, as the fight outside carried over the roof of the Nekohanten. "If this is some kind of Amazon training… Well, I think it just sucks!"

"But, but, but…" Training? What were they talking about here? "Stop!" Cologne held up her hand again. "I think we're talking at cross purposes and if I find out you did this deliberately, you scamp, I swear I'll curse you with jock-itch till you agree to marry Shampoo."

Barry subsided confused and replayed the conversation internally. With a long braying snort, she faced Cologne with a manic, I-can't-believe-you-thought-that expression. Cologne must have thought Shampoo had gotten pregnant!

"Sorry (heh!), honored Elder." Body shaking and hissing with snickers, Barry waited for Cologne's next move.

"Are you through?" Cologne asked exasperated. The sounds outside had subsided. "Now what is this really about?"

"I was showin' Akane some beginning ki stuff and Shampoo looked… Well, I offered ta show her too, an' she told me that you had told her she couldn't do the ki fighting techniques like Ryoga an' I use."

Cologne sighed. "She really shouldn't have…"

"That's beside the point." Barry hurried on, wanting to finish before Shampoo returned or Akane dragged duck-boy in. "On the way back, I was checkin' things out with a new technique I've got — I call it ki-vision — and I saw why Shampoo can't do the techniques. She's got a block all across that part of her aura. I woulda said somethin' then, but I thought it might be some Amazon trainin' thing to make her use her martial arts skills…" She wound down as she saw Cologne pale even worse than when she suspected Shampoo of fooling around. "But I guess not," she trailed off lamely.

"A block? Assuming that what you detected is real… How could this have happened?" the little Matriarch whispered. "Yes… and her sisters, too…"

Barry heard the front door open and shut. She looked out to see a customer looking around. Barry scratched her head. The old ghoul was really out of it. She hadn't budged from where she was mumbling over Barry's revelation. Sighing, she decided to fill in the gap left by Mousse and Shampoo's absence and Cologne's inner turmoil.

"Nekohanten! Can I help you?"

The older gentleman smiled at the pretty redhead before him. His smile broadened as he recalled she had worked here before almost two years ago. Ranma's memories remembered him as a nice, non-hentai, salary man who liked Cantonese Duck and green tea. She got him water, tableware and the tea and then waited for the order.

"I doubt if you remember, but I rather like the Cantonese Duck…"

Akane and Shampoo chose that moment to stomp in shouting insults at one another, nose to nose. Akane was snarling something in Japanese about Mousse attacking her and Shampoo was shrieking something back in Chinese that didn't sound too complimentary. Apparently, at some point during or just after Akane's fight with Mousse, Shampoo turned up and had not been happy about Akane playing with Mousse. Shampoo was carrying the bemused and unresisting Master of Hidden Weapons under an arm. As she reached the table Barry stood beside, she plopped the 'ducked' boy on the table and turned back to Akane.

"Um…" Barry tried to interrupt, but was ignored. She swallowed. This nice old guy apparently didn't have a clue that a major military action was about to commence. He stared at the duck before him with a peculiar expression on his face.

(BANG!) Something exploded at floor level between the two girls, causing them to scream and jump apart. Barry turned toward the kitchen to see Cologne looking out impassively, a string of firecrackers in one hand.

"It's not a Happodarikin; but then, it was short notice," she said blandly. The girls blinked at her, turned and looked at one another and began to frown again. The next interruption was even less expected.

"Excuse me," the salary man interjected timidly. "I think this duck is a bit raw."

Shampoo suddenly giggled. "You no know how true words you say!"

Barry relaxed with a sigh of relief as Akane joined in. Laughter was definitely preferable to the alternative. Suddenly a thought transfixed her.

"Akane! Tell me ya didn't… Ya didn't beat…" If she had a brain in her head she would've thought of this earlier. Damn!

"I haven't had to deal with these people for the last two years without learning _something_, Ranma!" Akane giggled. "Mousse knocked the cap off of a fire hydrant. The only thing I did was spend fifteen hundred _yen_ to buy him off the poultry man who caught him."

"Poor Mousse!" Barry agreed. "Where's his clothes?"

"Down a storm drain, I think."

"Then he's raw, all right."

"Maybe we say Akane beat Mousse," offered Shampoo gliding up. "Ranma beat Shampoo, we have double wedding, everyone happy."

"In your dreams," Akane mocked, "meatball-head." Shampoo purpled again, then laughed wickedly.

"You jealous because Akane look like Mercury-girl but no can swim!" As Akane reddened, Shampoo added, "I no know hammer-sensei, but…"

"I am not!" Akane wailed.

"Shampoo," Cologne barked. "Order up!" A plate and bowl came sailing, to be deftly caught by the Amazon and served to the customer. The matriarch pogo-ed over and smiled ingratiatingly at him. "Please forgive the noise and confusion… Consider your meal to be on the house."

"That's quite all right." The salary man looked over his meal approvingly. "I have three daughters at home myself. Between them and their friends…" He shuddered and dug in.

"Shampoo. Kitchen." Cologne turned to Akane who glowered. "Dear, why don't you go up to the family quarters? There's a small TV there and I think it's about time for that show you girls were talking about. I need to talk with Ranma for a few more minutes."

"Thank you, Cologne," Akane said. She hesitated at the door and looked pointedly at the redhead. "Don't surprise me, baka."

Barry shrugged. "I'll try not ta; but you know me…"

Shampoo glanced at the direction Akane was going, then at the clock on the wall. Her brows suddenly furrowed in dismay. Running to the foot of the steps she called up after Akane.

"Perv… Akane tape show? Use one have green sticky-dot on side. Is already cued. Can do?"

"It would be nice to get a please for something like this," Akane's voice echoed down the stairwell.

"Amazon no say 'please'. Just see need and do," Shampoo explained.

"Oh… In that case, of course."

"Oh, dear…" Cologne muttered as she glanced Shampoo's way and shook her head.

"What's wrong, Granny?"

"Nothing to do with you, Ranma." She shook herself again and turned to the redhead. Shampoo glided over to stand beside Cologne. They turned back to the stairwell as a sudden commotion shook the building again. Faintly, an irate Akane could be heard.

"I am not Shampoo, Mousse! Wear your glasses!"

This was followed by a series of thumps and Mousse appeared, making familiar contact between each step and his backside on the way down. He stood, trying to recover his dignity and wishing the stairs had been carpeted.

"Jeez, Mousse! When ya gonna learn. Girls don't like bein' grabbed like that."

"Ranma Saotome!" Mousse seemed to struggle with a bad taste in his mouth. "Do you have any idea how I felt when I finally realized I was fighting Akane Tendo?" He snarled. "I have no desire to be dealt the same card as yourself, Saotome. Had I been defeated, honor would have required I marry Akane. Between her cooking and that mallet, I wouldn't last a month!" he screamed, grabbing Barry by the shoulders.

"Mallet, bonbori, what's the difference? Akane knew better, Mousse," she replied, grimacing at his grip. "An' watch where ya got yer thumbs, huh?" Mousse jerked his hands away in time to be sent to the floor by an iron pan with some English to it. Shampoo tossed the dented pan aside and sighed.

"If being pervert, Mousse, do with real girl, okay?"

"Are you offering" he asked dazedly. (WACK!)

"Mousse, don't forget your place," Cologne drew back her staff and sighed. "In fact, watch the restaurant while I speak with Ranma and Shampoo here."

Grumbling, yet unwilling to take more damage, Mousse retreated.

Cologne turned to Shampoo and laid a hand on her arm. "I'm afraid that if what Ranma told me is correct, I have failed you terribly, child." Shampoo blinked and darted a look at Ranma. "Failed you and quite probably your sisters, as well," the matriarch added.

"How you fail Shampoo?" Shampoo then switched back to the language native to her village. ""You have raised me like your own daughter, great-grandmother. I cannot see how you could ever fail me.""

""A mother is the protector of her children until they can defend themselves,"" Cologne said. ""You told Ranma of your lack in using ki and Ranma was not satisfied to hear it. He looked within and says he found that the lack was a blockage forced on you, not the fault of your birth.""

Shampoo stepped away, a hand to her mouth in shock. Trembling, she looked to Ranma. "Is… is true?"

"If yer talkin' about yer ki-block? Yeah, it's there all right. I didn't tell ya cause I wanted ta talk ta Granny 'bout it first." Shampoo still trembled, but she started to get red in the face. "Uh, you okay, Shampoo?" Her eyes suddenly dropped to her toes and the trembling grew worse. "Shampoo?"

She suddenly straightened and gave an inarticulate screech toward the ceiling. ""Evil Magician! Shampoo will find you and make you _pay_!"" she screamed again. "Magician, you I _kill_!"

There was a clatter from the kitchen and a thump from upstairs. Akane and Mousse appeared almost simultaneously, ready for action.

"What's going on?"

"Shampoo! If Saotome's harmed you, I'll…"

"I ain't harmed nobody!" Barry replied, disgusted at being the object of suspicion. "I'm just tryin' ta help, dammit!"

"Akane! You remember Shampoo say about ki?"

"You, um… can't do it?" Akane replied slowly.

"Ranma find some evil person _make_ Shampoo this way! When Shampoo find evil one… grrr!"

Akane looked appalled. She turned and grabbed the red-haired girl by the throat. "You _are_ going to help her." It wasn't a question.

"Gaak! Sure, Akane!" she choked. "S'not like I have… (wheeze) …anythin' better ta do. Lego already!" Akane released her like a hot poker.

"Better to do?" she murmured eyes going large and moist as her face paled. "Ranma…"

"Hey! Yer right, Akane," Barry said to cover a possible gaff and trying to play Ranma to the hilt. "It is our duty as martial artists, after all." 'How the hell am I gonna turn this to our advantage anyway?' he thought. 'Honor can be awfully inconvenient, sometimes.'


	24. Selecting Ingredients

**Guest Ki: Chapter 23**

_**Selecting Ingredients**_

"…our duty as martial artists…"

Akane licked her lips. Not again! She tried to find fault with his assessment, but the idea that someone would try to cripple Shampoo this way was enraging. If she were on the receiving end, wouldn't she want…? But _when _were they ever going to do the researchto get Ranma back with all these interuptions?

Akane, in facing Barry, faced away from the Amazons. To give Akane a chance to compose herself, Barry gently broke free of her grasp and walked past the Chinese, forcing them to turn away from the Tendo girl. "Anyway, let me show ya what I found, Cologne, so ya can see fer yerself." She looked at the trembling Shampoo and pointed to the floor.

"Hate ta ask ya right now, but could you sit down there and curl up with yer head on yer knees and yer hands wrapped around yer legs?"

Mystified, Shampoo did so. Barry walked behind her crouching and peering till she found the right angle. Then she stiffened and motioned for Cologne to join her. "If ya look along this angle with yer ki senses, you can see it easy."

Cologne joined her and Shampoo sweated as the two 'examined' her. Cologne, for her part, held out a hand and moved it back and forth over her granddaughter's body as if feeling for something.

"I'm amazed you noticed this, Ranma, but once it is pointed out, it is obvious."

"Partly luck and partly curiosity," agreed the pigtailed girl.

"This is beyond my abilities to correct, unfortunately." Cologne was strongly driven to turn around and observe Akane. Something about the way she was acting bothered her, but Shampoo's problem was at the moment the more important situation. She jerked at Shampoo's inarticulate protest and the beginnings of what looked like a reassuring gesture from the redhead.

"Don't be concerned, Ranma. While I cannot help Shampoo, I am certain there are others in our tribe who can. I admit though, that it will place us under obligations that could weaken our family's power on the Council."

Barry held Cologne's eyes and nodded, both to give Akane more time, and to give Cologne time to consider what Barry felt was an important fact: that the Matriarch was in a bind. "Cologne, have ya considered how an enemy could _get_ close enough to hurt Shampoo like this?" She watched for a reaction but saw nothing. It was hard to believe that the old woman could be so blind.

"Almost any enemy would find ending the Ama line of the Joketsuzoku a worthwhile thing, Ranma," Cologne explained confidently. "We mountain people tend to hold grudges, petty things really, but there you have it." She cackled and hopped up on her staff, pogo-ing around, circling the redhead, trying to gain a glimpse of Akane as well. That girl was now turned toward the Chinese and her face held only curiosity.

"Shampoo has been in several…'police actions', western nations would call them, little brush wars and battles, which neither side acknowledges unless they are prepared for a full conflict. Any one of those conflicts could have been used as cover to attack Shampoo in this manner." To her eye, Ranma was gently shaking her head. "There are perhaps a dozen adversaries in our region that have the history and motive, and might have the means…" she huffed at Ranma's continued nonverbal dissent, "You don't agree?"

Barry looked at her, eyes lidded. "Trust is the greatest opportunity for betrayal."

"Where did that come from?" asked Mousse, eyes narrowing slightly.

Barry smirked. "Who better than Ranma Saotome as a living example of it?" When they looked confused she added, slightly irritated by their obtuseness, "Ya know. Pops? The Nekoken?" She started out brightly. "'Sure Pops! I'll get in there with the k-kitties. Yeah, they'll like the fish sausage, Pops; an' ya say they'll teach me ta be a c-c-cat like them? Then can we go back ta m-m—!'" To Barry's shock, as she recited long ago events her voice began to shake and her eyes became damp.

Barry fought for control, snarling at what Genma had done. A tear escaped, to trickle down the redhead's cheek, and Barry cursed silently. He hadn't meant to access the disturbing memories on _that_ level; he had meant to make a point. He was nearly making a scene. He took a deep breath and refocused.

"Th-think about how the blocked points line up _only_ when Shampoo is all curled up, Cologne. Maybe like she'd be if somebody did it when she was carried around like she was as a baby?" Barry finally stuffed Ranma's memories back in their closet and faced Cologne who stood as still as a stone. "The block's been there a good while. Still, I'm pretty sure it wasn't until after Shampoo… ya know, um… became… uh…"

"A cat?" offered Mousse.

"No, moron!" Barry snapped. Damn! She didn't think it'd be this embarrassing to talk about. "Had the… monthly thing."

"Her period?" Cologne suggested.

"Yeah, uh… that." What the hell was it about guys and bodily functions, anyway? "You guys have a growin' up ceremony, maybe? And maybe, part of the ceremony has the girl curl up or carried…"

"Stop!" Cologne held up her hand again. "This is not for outsider speculation. You will not speak of this further. I must ask you to respect our wish not to discuss this with anyone else at all." All of the Chinese had gone stiff at Barry's speculation and she could tell in flashing, neon lights that she had hit a particularly sensitive nerve.

"Okay by me. Akane?" She glanced at the dark-haired girl.

"I won't tell anyone. It's too private. I don't gossip, anyway." Barry nodded at Akane's words and turned back to Cologne.

"I wouldn't go flyin' off the handle, ya understand. I could be wrong. But if I'm right, then maybe ya might wanna fix the problem on the sly an' surprise somebody?"

Shampoo's eyes had gone hard and bright. Mousse remained inscrutable but his body language indicated aggressive readiness.

"Understand, son-in-law, I can not dissolve the bonds between you and Shampoo over this, if you had that in mind" Cologne's face was hard and unyielding, but she was wringing her hands. "We Amazons have survived for three thousand years by seeing the long goal and the 'big picture'. While it would be personally advantageous for Shampoo to have this deficiency corrected…"

"Granny, understand where _I'm_ comin' from," Barry interrupted, eyes narrowing. "The 'big picture', so far as I'm concerned, is a fantasy. Worse, it's an insult." Suddenly hostile blue eyes met reddish-brown set in the ancient, wrinkled sockets. "It means some jerk thinks what I want or need is unimportant compared ta some personal plan o' theirs." The blue eyes grew harder. "Any time I hear someone say 'big picture', it only means that they feel they have the right ta tromp all over me. An' mosta the time, it's nothin' more than a scam.

"Shampoo?" At the inquiry, eyes wet with tears blinked at Barry. "I'm researchin' ki. I got my own agenda and I'm not changin' it. Ryoga, Akane and I are gonna be pesterin' anybody we can find that knows anything about ki or has authentic documents on what it can do." Barry took a deep breath. "If I find somethin' that'll help ya, I'll help ya, no strings attached, because I think it's the right thing ta do." She glanced back to the Matriarch again.

"Would be nice ta get some help from yer corner but, if yer gonna get pissy, there's no point." She turned and caught Akane by the arm. "C'mon, Akane, we got about two weeks o' homework to catch up on before we can reallyget a move on this." They started to leave.

"Wait a moment, Ranma," Cologne recovered and was beside them at the door. "Perhaps a century of dealing with faithless politicians has soured me. I assumed that a condition for help would be releasing you from your obligation to Shampoo. Yet, you speak of helping her despite this objection…?"

"Granny, ya know what I think of yer Amazon obligation. I'll help Shampoo in spite of it, because she's a friend. But I'd help her even if she was an enemy. What was done was wrong. Someone, probably someone with a 'big picture' that's different than yours, by the way, decided ta mess around and make Shampoo less than what she should be." She cracked her knuckles. "If I ever catch up with 'em, they'll wish they was never born."

Shampoo looked at Barry with a frown on her face. She huffed. Barry suspected that friendship, at least with outsiders, might be an alien notion to the warrior women.

"What'sa matter, Shampoo, didn't ya realize what ya were? Whyd'ya think I said what I said on the train?" Shampoo shook her head and glanced at her grandmother.

"Don't worry about it, Shampoo, I'll explain later," Cologne assured her. "For now, consider Akane an ally and we are working under an extended truce."

"Yes, Grandmother."

"Ranma, I can't let you just 'experiment' on Shampoo. Before I agree to this, I want you to promise not to do anything without telling me just what you're up to." Cologne was looking strangely at the purple-haired girl as she spoke.

"You feel up to lettin' us read some of those ancient Amazon scrolls?"

Cologne hesitated. "The scrolls we need are at the village, boy. If you're right, and I don't consider that more than an outside possibility, understand, " she added, "then my asking for those particular treatises is going to warn someone we're on to them."

"You're right there, unless…" Barry thought furiously, but Akane beat her to the punch.

"Unless you can come up with a 'catch-Ranma' scheme that needs that particular information!" finished Akane, lips quirking in a smile. Then she frowned furiously. "Wait a minute! I can't believe I just suggested you try something underhanded on Ranma again!"

"It seems to be that kind of day," observed Cologne dryly. "I'll think on this and get back to you. It's not that simple. Whatever you may imagine, I'm not here win Ranma for Shampoo, after all."

Akane and Barry exchanged glances. "Yeah, right." The latter smirked.

"Like I said," Cologne returned indifferently. "But even I must account in most particular detail when I access the arcane of the Joketsuzoku."

Barry snapped her fingers, suddenly. "Hey, Granny, maybe ya don't have to get that particular scroll." She had a faraway look on her face.

"What do you mean, Saotome," growled Mousse. "Do you imagine you can cure my darling Shampoo of this foul obstruction without the scroll that shows the method?"

Barry smiled, snapped her hands together and then apart. Suddenly, ribbons of light seemed to spin off to envelop and bind the startled master of hidden weapons. To the uninformed, it would seem that Ranma had taken a page from the male Amazon's book, and was calling chains and ropes out of thin air.

"Hey, Mousse, I didn't learn how ta do this with a scroll."

Mousse glowered, immobilized, obviously impressed, but unwilling to yield a centimeter to his long-time adversary. Cologne shook her head in disbelief. This was the technique he used on Happosai at Himamashi's. Sometimes it was disgusting how adept Ranma was.

"Very well done, Ranma. Interesting… Very interesting. I can see the bonds, but I can't touch them or, with my own awareness, distinguish them from Mousse." Cologne poked at a bond with her staff and Mousse responded with a yelp. "How did you manage that?"

"Conditional similarity. Can you move, Mousse?"

"No, dammit! Get me out of this, Saotome," he growled, tipping precariously from Cologne's push. They ignored him as he crashed to the floor.

"Shampoo told us about the barrier you used to thwart the avalanche. Have you any other techniques?" she inquired, expecting the positive answer. He was just too smug. He was obviously coming into his power. Fortunately, Ranma was still something of a child in this respect; he liked to show off.

"What do you think?" she smirked. Cologne smiled tightly. Now would come the demonstrations. But Ranma stood there, smirking, not giving a nibble. Cologne pursed her lips, waiting but any new techniques remained hidden.

"What kind of help would you need?" the old woman asked in resignation. While it was obvious that Ranma held a good hand, he wasn't going to reveal any more of it right now.

"Mosta my stuff is self-taught. But everything comes from my usin' my ki-vision to check on what I'm doin'."

"Would you describe it for me please, Ranma?" Cologne reached out, grabbed hold of Mousse and pulled him in front of the women.

"Hey?"

"Quiet, Mr. Part-time," Cologne growled. "You keep saying ki-vision. What do you mean?" She tapped her head. "My ki sense is more like a sense of touch and frankly that's better than most people have. Use your ki sense on duck-boy here and tell me what you 'see'.

"Excuse me?"

"Just shut up and lie still, Mousse." Barry pointed to him. "With my eyes, I see a tall, slender-lookin' guy with thick glasses, long dark hair and white robes with a diamond pattern on them. With my inner eye, the glasses, the robes, his hidden weapons, everything is separate from Mousse. I guess it's a little like looking through stained glass windows one on top of the other." Mousse flushed and almost tried to cover himself. Barry tried to come up with a word Ranma would use to describe the associations. "Anyway, each has… levels? Layers? Maybe more like colors, like a rainbow. If ya think like that, Mousse's body and all the physical things might be said to be violet or blue. Not really the colors but like them, in that they are closest to the body and are the tightest and strongest. The heavier, the denser things are the more like purple they are.

"But Mousse is much more than his body." Barry ignored a snicker from Shampoo. "There is a strong sense of green, on top of and through — that's not what I mean but as close as I can get — the blues and purples. It affects them sometimes. I think it's tied to hormones or emotions maybe; at least it gets real disturbed when Mousse looks at Shampoo."

"_Saotome_!" Barry ignored him, but Shampoo smiled.

"The next is sort of yellow, maybe, if this was really a color. This is where Shampoo is tied up and limited, by the way. It is, also, where most of the ki techniques seem ta come from."

"Above that are two distinct levels I might as well call orange and red," Barry said, watching the matriarch for reactions. "The orange must have something ta do with the mind. Your orange areas are absolutely swirlin', like leaves in a cyclone, right now. The red… I don't know. Beyond that might be others; it feels like there's something there, but I can't quite see it."

"What you're describing by the color red is probably the layer that represents the soul, boy." Cologne looked wistful; then a flood of conflicting emotions seemed to race across her face before she composed herself. "If you had any idea how hard people try to achieve this degree of sensitivity, and how tenuous it normally is, and of course, you simply turn it on and off at will." She shook herself and sighed deeply.

"It's probably from not thinkin' about it too much," Barry said offhandedly. "Martial arts is like that; think about it too much and lose it."

"No wonder you can do it well then, Saoto... _Ow_!" Shampoo lightly kicked Mousse in the side.

"Don't knock it, Mousse," Barry said. Bending over, she touched the bonds and they vanished. Mousse made a half-hearted swipe at her before rising to his feet.

"Mousse, think about this for a while. If ya solve it, I'll show ya how to do it. I gave your bonds to you and made them yours." She turned back to Cologne. "I don't read Chinese. Could Shampoo or Wonder-duck here translate for me?"

"Wonder-duck!" screamed Mousse at his patience's end. "Die, Saotome!" He leaped at Barry, who laughed and grabbed the kettle from the stove. She blew him a kiss, further enraging him, then dodged outside. Splashing sounds were heard and Ranma's male tones were now in evidence.

"Hey, Mousse, put this back before we work out, okay?" The kettle took the Amazon between the eyes, slowing him. With a distracted air, he launched the kettle to land lightly on the stove. "Show me what you've got in yer spare duds, man," laughed the unseen martial artist. Mousse leaped in pursuit.

Akane and Shampoo, for entirely different reasons, sighed in exasperation and muttered, "Boys!"

"Cologne, though Shampoo and I are rivals," Akane said slowly. "I just want you to know that anything we do that can help her, we'll bring straight to you." She started to bow, Japanese style, but stopped at Shampoo's loud 'ahem'. She looked at her and Shampoo stood up straight and stared back, her bearing proud. Akane duplicated her posture and gazed at Cologne. "I think I'll be leaving now."

"Tell Ranma not to worry about having a translator, all right, girl?"

Akane turned and walked out. Behind her, Cologne was giving her granddaughter a strange look again. "If you are considering _that_ course of action, it will make things more difficult," she admonished the girl. Shampoo traded looks with her elder. "They are merely allies in this."

Shampoo shrugged and smiled. "We see…" she replied enigmatically.

* * *

Mousse was predictable after you got used to the sight of all those weapons popping out of nowhere. Chains and ropes were defeated through attacks that moved opposite of the action, leaving them limp and useless. The weighted and hooked heads were avoided like any projectile weapon. The swords, clubs and other hand-held weapons were dodged by analyzing the patterns of movement and avoiding, deflecting or trapping the weapon, as needed. You didn't even need to hit him, just wait for his supplies to run out.

Outside of his weapons, Mousse was a slightly above average black belt in a form similar to Hun Gar Wushu.

Mousse suddenly found himself pumping a dry well. "Damn! If I hadn't lost my regular suit…" He faced off against Ranma barehanded.

"C'mon, Mousse," Barry said. "I apologize fer tweakin' yer bill back there…"

"Grrr!"

"Hey, Mousse, if ya actually managed ta kill me, what would that do ta Shampoo's chances?" He waited while the naked eyes of his adversary, who had lost his glasses moments before, blinked and tried to locate him. Then he deliberately walked up into easy range.

"Damn you, Saotome!"

"Ya know, everybody keeps offering ta send me to hell," Barry sighed. "D'ya ever think I might already be there?" Mousse didn't answer; instead, turned and looked back up the street toward the Nekohanten. Not that he could see anything. Barry noticed the glasses hanging by one arm from a nearby tree. "Here, Mousse." He offered the spectacles to the near-blind man.

"What? Oh, thanks." Now that he was out of sight of the other Amazons, he seemed less tense, less angry.

"Were you really takin' lessons from my old man, Mousse?"

Mousse jerked and looked guilty. "Uhhh… yes."

"Why? If I remember right, ya can't win her by beating her since yer an Amazon, yerself."

Mousse looked embarrassed. "Actually, I hoped to gain enough speed and insight into your style, to try to beat you again. Your father is astonishingly easy to manipulate where food is concerned. He never questioned my story that I planned to challenge Shampoo." Mousse suddenly gave a deep sigh. "Unfortunately, Shampoo challenged me to a match right after I got up in the morning and I used some of the techniques I had been taught. Cologne decided to forbid me to take any more training from 'Saotome'."

"What about lessons from a Tendo?"

"What was that?" Mousse choked out. "From a… You Japanese… You could assume your wife's family name…"

"What? _No_!" He grabbed hold of Mousse before that worthy could blab all over the neighborhood that Ranma had or was marrying Akane. "That's not what I meant!" Mousse struggled ineffectively against his hold. "I meant that maybe Akane could be convinced to continue your training."

"Are you crazy?" Mousse demanded. "What benefit do you gain from such an act? I'm trying to kill you, you know!"

"It's just a thought. I'm still puttin' things together." Barry turned away, thinking. Mousse had good potential for ki use. The hidden weapons technique demanded it. He could probably learn the techniques necessary to heal Shampoo as well as Barry could, once he got jump-started. Barry looked at him closely with ki-vision. "Hmmm… You could just be what the doctor's ordered."

"You are up to something, again." They turned and saw Akane walking up. Barry tried to look innocent. "You boys done with your game?"

"Heck, Akane, you had more fun than I did. He ran out of toys too soon!"

"Well, excuse me!"

"Baka! No, I'll use Ukyo's favorite — _jackass_! Not you, Mousse," she added apologetically. "Now what are you up to?" she said looking pointedly at Barry.

"Nothin'. Yet." He grinned, she sighed in exasperation and Mousse looked on in confusion. "Don't we have homework ta catch up on?"

"Are you changing the subject on me?" demanded Akane as they strode off. Mousse gazed after them and decided to pick up on the 'Tendo training' idea later, when Akane looked less irritable. He slowly began to move back toward the restaurant, gathering used weapons as he went.

Kasumi greeted them as they divested themselves of their shoes. "Welcome home, Ranma. Welcome home, Akane. How was school?"

Akane stopped and looked distant. "About what could be expected," she said finally. Barry looked at the ceiling and groaned. Kasumi looked distressed.

"Ah, it's nothin' ta worry about, 'Sumi," he offered. "Kodachi and Shampoo both transferred in and decided they would join forces and rule the world. Bwa, ha, hahahaha! (thunk!) Ow!"

Akane lowered her book bag. "You are not reassuring."

"That was so un-cute!" he said rubbing his head. He managed to dodge the next swing. "Biida!" He fled up the stairs, Akane on his heels.

"Dinner will be in about half an hour, you two," she called after them. "There's plenty of time for a bath," she added hopefully. Kasumi shook her head. She wrinkled her nose at the aroma left behind by two active bodies. Akane she didn't worry about. Ranma tended to get distracted, though.

Akane cornered Barry in the guestroom.

"Do you have to do that?" she hissed, flinging down her bag in disgust. Barry straightened and seemed to slump. He leaned back against a wall and Akane shuddered as familiar features took on an altogether alien cast.

"The alternative is this, Akane," he said. Even his voice sounded different, deeper. "I don't think anyone would mistake me for Ranma."

"I know," she said sighing. "It just makes me so angry that you can pull it off at all." She looked like she wanted to say more, but turned away instead. "I guess we'll do homework after dinner."

"Why not get a start now?" he asked puzzled. He hadn't dropped back into Ranma's character, but apparently some things were universal. She turned, made eye contact, then held her nose. He stiffened and his nose twitched once.

"Uhhh… After you?" he asked, embarrassed.

"Oh, no… After you!" she replied, archly. "You're the one who's polluting the atmosphere in here."

"Awww…" His exhalation was fueled by irritation. "That was so…"

"Don't say it!" She held up her book bag again.

"…accurate a description of the current environmental conditions."

There was a lo-o-ong, pregnant silence. "You are strange, Barry."

"So Gwen's told me," he answered dryly.

* * *

Dinner was a typical Kasumi work of art. Her dim sum was excellent, as usual. Kasumi would make a perfect wife for someone, if only she met some one. Barry thought about the long-missing Dr. Tofu. What a wimp! He should have found some way to deal with his over-enthusiasm if he'd had any feelings for Kasumi. Instead, he had just suddenly packed and left, leaving Kasumi confused and more than a little hurt. Somehow Kasumi remained sweet and forgiving despite these setbacks and continued to mother the household impartially.

Barry sat at his place and tried to eat at Ranma's frantic pace. It was discouraging in a way. He could taste the food, but it was over so fast. At least he didn't have to deal with Genma and his stealing. Nodoka had put a stop to that the moment she had become aware of it. He complimented Kasumi on the meal and inquired if he and Akane could help her in the kitchen.

She smiled at his offer. "That's very nice of you, Ranma, but you two have homework to catch up on. You needn't worry. I'm used to it."

Soun started to weep, silently, his paper in his lap. Akane and Barry looked at him then at Kasumi. "Father has a project he has to do and he's unhappy about it," the latter explained. Barry looked back at Soun. He was crying harder.

"Ya keep that up, Father Tendo, an' we'll stick ya in the koi pond as a fountain," he joked.

"WAAhhh, hah, hah, haaahh, hoooo!" howled the older man. "K-k-koi p-p-pond… Uh-uh-uh—! WAAAAAHHHhhhhhhhhh!"

Barry and Akane stood up together and opened the shoji onto the garden. Barry tried to make light of it, but had a hard time doing so. "Wow! The deep impact theory is right and the next dinosaur-killer asteroid landed in the Tendo garden. Who'da thought… (wack!) Ow!"

"WAAAAAHHhhhh! K-k-k-koi p-p-pond…"

Barry rubbed his head, moved further away from Akane and probed the remains of the pond with his _ki_-vision. "Well, wadja know. Carp _are_ hard ta kill!"

"They're still alive?" blurted Akane, who was moving in for another cathartic shot. "Kasumi, do we have anything to put the fish in? We have to save them!" They found the old hipbath and Barry straightened the dent it had gotten from roughhousing between a certain cursed panda and girl. Filling it with water, Barry and Akane waded in and retrieved fish the Amiguriken way. The sixteen that had survived the Armageddon, which the sumo pig had visited on them, swam vigorously in the clean water of the bath.

"Well, Father," said Kasumi cheerily. "Isn't that nice? The koi are all right, after all. Now there's no excuse for delaying the project, is there?"

"C'mon, Tendo," Barry said slapping her hands together to strip the water off them. "I'll help ya drain what's left of the pond. Maybe this weekend I can drag Ryoga back here and get some extra muscle to reset the stones."

Soun seemed to be recovering somewhat as she spoke, but went into tears again at the mention of Ryoga. "Nooooo! Every time he comes here something is destroyed! I will not have him…"

"Daddy, get used to it. He's a friend," sighed Akane. "Besides, half the time he comes here, he doesn't even know how he gets here." She patted him on the shoulder. "He is strong and, since Akari was here for him… well…" she hesitated, "He's always tried to act responsibly in the past, except for the P-chan thing."

"If he doesn't now, I know a certain dark-haired tomboy who'll make him feel responsible," chuckled Barry. She ducked a swing, jumped over a leg sweep and into the muddy water. "Where do we dump this stuff anyway?"

"On the gardens would best, I suppose," Kasumi decided.

Barry grinned. The Ranma responses seemed to whisper; training...

"Akane, wanna race?"

* * *

Draining the pond was done, baths were gotten again, homework was done — well, at least three days' worth — and Barry and Akane were in their respective rooms to sleep. Barry lay on the futon, his eyes on the ceiling and pondered what his life had become.

Somewhere out there, his wife and son were waiting for him. They might not realize it, if Ranma had managed to switch places with him, but they were there and he wanted them. He loved them. He felt responsible for at least part of the circumstances that had trapped him here away from them. He had always prided himself on his self-control. It was very bitter to realize he had never had a glimmer of an idea what self-control really meant.

He turned on his side, trying to get comfortable. It was funny, but for him at least, the sex changing that Ranma flipped back and forth through on a daily basis was something Barry mostly treated as a change of costume. Every once in a while, it was disquietingly more, however. At least he didn't have anyone sincerely confused about what Ranma was… well, aside from Kuno.

Barry had looked at herself whilein girl-type in a mirror for the first time this evening, in the middle of her bath. He could understand Kuno's problem. Ranma's girl-form was traditionally pretty as opposed to Hollywood-model pretty. Her muscular development was the long, lean muscle type that she shared with boy-Ranma; but Barry thought that a lot of the appeal came from the way Ranma had decided to play her. Whether girl or boy, Ranma had a wicked sense of humor and enjoyed attention. He might play the macho male, but he also played the 'cute, ditzy girl' to the hilt. In a way, he put everything he despised about women into that role. The absent martial artist found Akane's no-holds-barred aggressiveness much more attractive. Had Shampoo taken a similar role, she might have actually gotten somewhere back when Akane had been pushing Ranma away.

He twisted over on his other side, grumbling softly to himself. What really bothered him was this martial arts business. He constantly had to check-rein the potentially lethal abilities that Ranma possessed. It was like working with a top competition horse. There are distinct limitations placed on the horse by the rider's inexperience. A horse, trained and capable of performing at the highest level of the equestrian arts, can be endangered by an inept rider attempting to execute them. A top racehorse cannot run as fast or safely with an amateur jockey. Barry's only advantage here was the very thing that may have trapped Ranma away from his body, the Nekoken. The increased reaction time it bestowed gave him a little more leeway in dealing with Ranma's lethal skills, allowing him to let out a little more rein and balance more easily in the saddle.

Ki… There was nothing in his philosophy that argued against it, but the reality had struck like a bomb and opened new possibilities like a bird taking flight for the first time. The power and control it made possible were very seductive. He hoped if… _when_ he returned, he retained this talent. He was hopeful that he could, as it was one area where he seemed capable of improving and developing while in Ranma's body. He wondered what Ranma would think of how he'd used the shield in the avalanche first as an anchor and a shield, then as a weird surfboard. They had been discovering how to use the ki-vision to detect injuries and medical conditions and, if the business with the Amazons proved out, were beginning to learn how to use ki to heal.

He sat up then, body vibrating with adrenaline. He couldn't sleep. His mind and body were not exhausted enough. He also had an idea that might be of benefit to Ranma when he returned, or to Akane if he did not.

He ghosted out of the guestroom and down to the kitchen. Kasumi kept a cupboard stocked with tablets and paper for school. He poked around and found a fat, spiral-bound notebook. Perfect! He left a note on the counter for Kasumi to let her know he was taking it and returned to his room.

He would leave a written record for Ranma, just in case, so events that affected him could be accounted for when he returned. This would be especially important when it came to martial arts and, though Ranma would not admit it, relationships. Turning on the light — reading with ki-vision was chancy — he began to put down what had happened since Himamashi's.

_**Journal: Ranma's Guest - Monday, 2 September 1991 - Day 9**_

_Ranma, I hope that this record will help you pick up your life after my inadvertent interference. Akane, of course, realized _immediately_ that something was wrong. When we finally got some privacy, I explained the situation as best I could. She was pretty devastated. She loves you, you baka. I hope you realize how special she is._

_I made the freak clean up and repair Himamashi's. I bluffed, of course. I'm pretty sure Happosai could clean my clock right now, despite the fact that the Nekoken is on all the time. Yeah, I know! If you don't have it when you get back, it'll probably be because you're suppressing it. I think that, if you could get over your fear of certain furry creatures, it would be on full-time for you, as well. _

_Smell and hearing are marginally improved; reaction is the big gain, thank God! People would really get suspicious if you became an incompetent martial artist. I'm a little concerned about how your body will react to your female side's fertile period, considering what happened at the lake. I'll update you on this in particular and lock myself in a closet if it proves to be dangerous._

_To the news: Ukyo was missing almost the entire time we were at the lake. She has developed a directional malfunction similar to Ryoga's. While she was lost she even developed amnesia..._

Half an hour later, he decided he had written about as much as he needed to for now. He turned out the light and tried to get some sleep again. It was not forthcoming. He rolled to a new position and looked out the window at the lights of the city in the distance. Tokyo was enormous. He had been to New York, which he felt was comparable in size and population density. Yet despite the proximity, the night was astonishingly quiet. Japan was certainly different.

In more ways than one he thought, stiffening. A feline form was briefly silhouetted against the lights. As far as he knew, New York did not have cats that would transform with hot water into pretty naked girls; the play 'Cats' being no exception. She held a plastic bag in her mouth, which he assumed contained hot water. This could get interesting.

Akane rolled to a sitting position on her bed and blinked wearily. P-chan II 'bweed' inquiringly as she rose to her feet and stepped into her slippers. She just couldn't sleep. When they had been tracking Ukyo, she had been able to flop onto her bedroll and deal with the dreams and stagger to her feet again. Tears rolled down her face, the remains of her latest nightmare only just shredding away. Deciding she'd like to clean up, she left her room and padded down to the bathroom. P-chan II followed her out.

It was disconcerting just how similar in habits the pig was to Ryoga. She did not let it sleep on her bed, though, just in case Ryoga had second thoughts and decided to slip in some night. As she returned to her room, the pig suddenly darted forward to scrape at the door to the guestroom with a hoof. She stood there in her slippers and pajamas for almost a minute before walking over and lightly tapping. The pig grew more insistent, almost growling. Puzzled, she opened the door. In the light from the window, she saw P-chan II charge at a familiar pink-white feline. With a screech, the cat dodged the other animal and fled to the window. Giving Akane a reproachful look, it vanished into the night.

"_Honestly_!" she demanded, closing the window to avoid a repeat of the invasion. "I offer to help her and she shows up like this? Is she still acting on bimbo mode?"

"Who knows, Akane," Barry answered, sitting up. "Maybe she actually had something to say for a change. I'm glad you turned up with Mr. P here, though." He scratched the little piglet behind the ears. "I really didn't want to deal with Shampoo, in either form, right now." He watched her staring out into the night, the light from the window turning her form into an ethereal silhouette that…

"Uh, Akane? Could you move out of the window, please?" He turned away as she pivoted to stare at him.

"Why?"

"Because those pajamas are damn near transparent when the light's behind you like that."

"Barry," she growled.

"Give me a break, Akane," he growled right back.

"An arm or a leg?" she asked sweetly, but stepped to one side.

"I'm a married man, Akane; I've seen it before. Heck, I saw it _all_ up at Himamashi's, fer cryin' out loud!"

Akane slowly subsided. She slumped against the wall beside the window and slid to a sitting position. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too. It'd be a hell of a lot more satisfying to yell at Ranma, I'm sure."

"That Shampoo!" Akane said suddenly. "Barry, is Shampoo really blocked from using her ki?"

"Yup. The astral lines, if that's what they are, are all tied up. She's less likely to project than you are to swim."

"Thanks." He could tell she was glaring at him.

"Look at it this way, Akane. This might be the first break we've got in getting Ranma back."

"Oh? How?"

He smiled in the dark. "Who else has the largest, most tested, arcane library in the region? We may not have full access yet, but I think I can come up with ways to convince them to let us get the information we need."

"I hope so. I feel so helpless."

"Can't sleep, huh?" Barry nodded. "Me, too. _God_, I miss Gwen and Brendan!"

"What are they like?" Akane asked quietly.

"Brendan's a little ball of fire, very active, very athletic, not afraid of anything. He's blond, blue-eyed and about yo tall," Barry held his hand above the floor. "His hair will probably darken as he grows up, mine did and so did Gwen's. He's _very_ stubborn and, according to testing, he's smart, well above genius level. He's a handful!"

"And your wife?"

"Taller than you, though a proportionately a little heavier when she was your age. Brown hair she wears like Ukyo. Hazel eyes. A smile I'd die for right now. Her nose is longer than yours, and slightly crooked. She's got a temper and has given me a figurative kick in the pants a time or two, when I got out of line. She's never hit me though and I've never hit her. We tell each other 'I love you' at least twice a day, and…"

Akane sighed, thoughtful. "My mom and dad were like that," she said. "I wish…"

"It wasn't like that in the beginning, Akane. It doesn't just happen. It takes a lot of work." He waved at her to gain her attention. "As for the hitting, you can change anytime after he gets back, sweetheart." He rose to his feet and rummaged through Ranma's clothes pulling out his gi. "I can't sleep. I'm going to work out in the dojo."

"Can I join you?"

"Suits me. Gonna put me through the wall again?"

"Worth trying." Her voice held a poorly concealed glee.

"Thought so. Just remember, 'you break it, you fix it'. Camp rules."

"Sounds fair."

"One other thing, you need to watch yer defense better. If I was playing fer keeps, I'd be buryin' ya right now instead of rubbin' my own bruises."

"Oh, really?" Her voice was a challenge.

"Really. I'd be a poor guest if I let my host's girlfriend get herself killed because she wasn't watchin' for the lethal stuff."

"A girlfriend, am I?" Akane liked the sound of that.

"Well… One of them, anyway."

"Barry!"

* * *

Ranma woke with a start. Something was making the bed bounce up and down painfully.

"Daddy!" (glomp!)

"(Owie!) Hi, Brendan." Barry's son snuggled in against his side. "Isn't it a little early yet?"

"Brendan…" A sleepy voice that buzzed against the skin of his elbow made him flinch. "It's… 5:35 in the morning. Why are you out of bed?" Gwen, veiled in her long hair, pushed up onto one elbow.

Brendan giggled. "Tomorrow's my birthday. Anyway, doesn't Daddy go to work today?"

"Daddy isn't going anywhere today," she replied firmly. She turned to her husband and ran a hand across her face to push the hair back. "At least, not to work. You know the rules, kiddo. Bedtime is from 8:30PM until 6:00AM. You have twenty-five more minutes to keep the covers pulled up over your head. You are a crabby little monster when you don't get your sleep."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

Ranma realized this could go on a while. He intervened. "Brendan, you realize someone else will get really crabby if you don't go back to bed?"

"Who?"

"Mommy," they said in unison.

"'If Mommy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy'…" quoted Gwen.

"Awww!" Brendan stomped back to bed.

After he left, Gwen looked at Ranma for long seconds. "Well, I'm not going to get back to sleep," she said finally. "Mind if I turn on the lamp and read?" She reached for the small lamp beside the bed that he was beginning to realize he shared with this woman. He shifted nervously and nodded.

"Go ahead. He'll be back as soon as the clock in his room reads 6:00, won't he?"

"He's your son."

'If only she knew,' Ranma thought. Then he recalled the question he had asked the night before. "Uh… _Do_ we have any books on parapsychology, ah… martial arts, _Qui Gong_, that sort of thing?"

Gwen stopped propping her pillows up and looked at him, curiously. "You asked that last night, too. You know what we have around the house, your science fiction, history and engineering books, my romances and religion books, Mom's Bible-study books. If your Dungeon and Dragons material is still around, it's packed in the attic at your mother's. What are you looking for anyway?"

"Umm, well…" He stumbled mentally, looking for some way to continue this line of conversation. "Uh… Buddy pitched me off so fast yesterday, I thought it might be a good thing to look into martial arts to get better balance…"

"Really? When are you going to find time for that? You work over sixty hours a week, and don't get paid overtime because it's considered two separate jobs, barn manager and instructor." She suddenly stopped speaking, her eyes narrowing. "Bob isn't trying to talk you into taking yoga lessons, again, is he?"

A light burst on Ranma's thoughts. Of course! Bob was a yogi. It was a different line of training, but very well might have relevant information. He wondered if he could get away with going to work after all. He might just be able to…

"Uhhh…" He barely moved. Ranma was shocked. His healing abilities had never permitted him to get to this state before. If he had to face opponents like this, he'd be dead for sure. He just hoped the craziness that shadowed him in Nerima wouldn't follow him here.

"Maybe you better take another shower," Gwen suggested. "I'll wash your back again…"

"Um, I think that would be too painful, right now. Give me a rain-check on that, okay?" Ranma suggested. He was fortunate that he was in pain. It helped hide his nervousness. "I'll…_erk_! …get that shower."

He stumbled into the bathroom and stepped into the large shower stall there. His seeking hand found the knob and turned. Cold water blasted out of the showerhead. "No-o-o! Cold," he whispered. Ranma heard the door to the bathroom open. It had to be Gwen and she would see…

"You sure you don't want some company?"

"No! I'm… I'm fine…"

Ranma looked down at the borrowed body and sighed. Knees wobbled, but the body was definitely male. The curse hadn't followed him. Slowly he adjusted the temperature of the water to a steaming hot and turned his back into it. He'd have to be careful.

It'd be awfully easy to get used to this.


	25. Dojo Rules

**Guest Ki: Chapter 24**

_**Dojo Rules**_

School preparations began frantically the next morning. The sparring had done its work, almost too well. They both slept in until Kasumi personally rousted them out of their respective rooms. Akane called to check on Ryoga and Ukyo, while Barry was sprinting through a quick shower.

He skidded out in time to be reassured that their directionally challenged friends were taken care of. The morning proceeded from there at a more sedate pace. Akane prepared for her morning run, Kasumi prepared breakfast and Soun stomped in from the dojo to deliver his first demon head of the day.

"Ranma, what have you done to the dojo!"

"Back soon," Akane said ignoring him. She was over the wall in a flash for her new morning 'jog'.

"Good morning, Father," said Kasumi, smiling. "Would you like your paper now?"

Soun looked back to Ranma who was writing something furiously in a spiral binder. Ignored at all points, he deflated and sat down, accepting the newspaper from his oldest daughter. He sipped the cup of coffee she set at his place — Kasumi was serving a more western breakfast this morning — and repeated his question in a more reasonable manner. "Ranma, I was out at the dojo this morning and noticed that the wall had a huge hole in it. We are still somewhat strapped financially since the wedding and this could prove an expensive repair. Would you care to comment?" Ranma glanced his way.

"Akane promised ta fix it after school."

"Akane?" said Soun. Then he smiled proudly. "She put you through the wall again, eh?" His frown came back. "When were you sparring?"

"About 2:00 A.M. Shampoo stopped by, P-chan chased her off and we couldn't get back to sleep." Barry yawned. "Rules were no lights, no battle yells and damage fixed by whoever who broke it."

"Oh! That's quite practical and considerate," Soun decided. He beamed again. His daughter was apparently on a par with Genma's son! Her mother would have been so proud. He retreated to his paper and Barry rose and went to the kitchen to help Kasumi.

"You don't have to do that, Ranma," Kasumi said.

Maybe not, 'Sumi, but maybe I want to." Barry passed ingredients and later loaded up dishes, ala Amazon-waitressing. Barry was unconcerned about being out of character here. Ranma did little things for Kasumi all the time. The protest and sidestepping were just part of the game.

Akane came back at that point, saw breakfast was being set on the table and hurried back to get a bath. After she arrived, breakfast went at its usual pace. Barry ate like a famished wolf, finishing in seconds and glancing around for more.

"He's not here, you know," Akane said dryly. He looked at her blankly and caught a few scraps from the edge of his mouth with his tongue. "Your father?"

"Huh? Oh! Sorry 'bout that." He nodded to Kasumi. "It was good, though."

"How anyone could manage to taste…" Akane began.

"Akane, I was wonderin'," said the pigtailed boy, "I'm tryin' ta stop by Mom's before school and thought we could make it part of that morning run o' yours. Ya know, turn it inta trainin'. It can't be more than twenty minutes away at a good pace, and joggin' just ain't gonna hack it, ya know."

Akane glanced at him sideways. Barry was in for a show. "That sounds great, Ranma," she said. "But if you want to see Aunt Nodoka today, you better get moving." She tapped her wristwatch.

"Right!" He shifted his weight, began to leap up and seemed to vanish, eliciting a gasp from Kasumi and an oath from Soun.

"Show-off," Akane accused as she looked in the direction she believed he had gone. "_Honestly_!"

Soun, feathers ruffled somewhat by the event, snapped his paper open again. From behind its defenses, he commented to his youngest daughter on earlier events. "I understand you two were up late sparring?"

Akane grimaced. "We were. Sorry about the dojo. We'll fix it."

"It was rather obvious. The hole in the wall you made must have really hurt."

"Not really," she replied. "But watch the floor over by the weight set. I think Ranma cracked a beam and I don't know how well he was able to support it last night. He'll fix it after school."

Soun digested this information.

"Do you mean to say Ranma threw you into the floor hard enough tocrack a support beam?" Soun began quietly enough, but by the end he was showing signs of going demon head again.

"No, Daddy," Akane replied, sipping the tea at her place. "I threw him into the floor."

Soun subsided and frowned puzzled. "If you…" Soun didn't quite get it. The pieces weren't all in place for him, and it was a bit confusing to hear second-hand. He also hadn't finished his coffee yet. "I thought you were following the 'you broke…"

"That's right, Daddy. Ranma broke the floor, Ranma fixes the floor." Akane explained. "I broke the wall, he broke the floor. We fix what we break. It's only fair." She glanced at her watch and rose to her feet. "Oops, got to go." She caught up her own books, sighed when she saw Barry had forgotten his bento and gathered that in. She gave her father a peck on the cheek before leaving. "Love you, Daddy."

Soun sat there pondering how strange it was sometimes. Then it occurred to him how Akane 'broke' the wall… "rrrrrRRRRRRAANMA!" (Demonhead)

Kasumi t'ched and sighed, "Father, father, father…"

* * *

"Pops! I gotta… whoa! Eeep! Ki-yah…get to school!" Genma ambushed Barry as he watered Nodoka's garden. Already a slightly dicey situation, both had gone to their cursed forms within seconds of the initial attack. "You jerk! Now I'm gonna be soggy all morning!"

"Growf! Grrr, grrr, wuff!" Genma whipped out a sign that declared, A martial artist must be prepared for discomfort in the pursuit of his Art. Barry kicked the sign into Genma's face.

"Ya mean like that, old man?"

"Dearest," Nodoka stuck her head out the window, "I don't mind you playing with Ranma, but if you damage my plantings I will be most annoyed."

Barry promptly moved in close and got a grip on the panda's out-flung arm as he tried to knock her into last week. A twist and a boosted throw, and panda-Pops flew over the fence and into the alley. "Weren't you listening? She _said_ don't hurt the garden, old man." Crashing sounds emanated from beyond the wall at Genma's impact.

"Ranma, what have I told you about being respectful to your father?" Nodoka chided, gently.

"Growf! Urf, grouw, growf!" agreed said panda, sticking a banana peel-bedecked head back over the fence. Angrily he batted at flies before holding up a sign. This is all your fault, boy!

"Oh, dear. Next Tuesday, could you toss him the other way? The garbage hasn't been picked up yet." Nodoka looked at her husband with a sigh of resignation. "And panda fur is so hard on the drains."

"No problem, Mom." Ranma picked up the hose and turned it on the black and white face, the power of the stream causing the panda's lips to flap and billow from the attack. The banana peel went flying. "That better?"

She leaped to the fence top as Genma dropped out of sight, continuing the attack. "Take that, 'honored father'!" From beyond came strangled protests and muffled roars.

"Oh, my!" Nodoka looked at the clock on the wall in the house then stuck her head out. "Ranma! You're going to be late!"

"Nuts!" Barry contemplated the sloshy, sagging panda in the alleyway. She had allowed her dislike of Genma to distract her. With a sudden smirk, she sent loops of hose to wrap about the disgruntled figure; a twist and smooth jerk brought Genma back into the yard and left him spinning like a top. "You get to finish watering the garden, 'honored father'. First honest work you'll have done in weeks." Tossing the hose down she raced into the house, grabbed her bags and gave Nodoka a passing peck on the cheek, as Ranma's memories dictated was expected.

"Wait, Ranma! The kettle…"

"No time, Momma! I'll get it at school!"

Nodoka came back to the garden and watched her transformed husband slowly spin to a stop. Staggering, he took three hopping steps sideways and sat down hard. Breathing heavily, he held his black and white head between his hands to stop the spinning.

"Dearest? What did I say about the garden?"

Genma looked up at his wife then looked around. Sticking out from under his left hip was a plant he couldn't identify. He swallowed and glanced, cringing, at his wife. All she was doing was standing there, her arms crossed and frowning slightly, but he would rather have been standing before Soun doing a full demon-head projection. Jumping to his feet, he set about watering and repairing minor deficiencies in his wife's garden.

* * *

He, or rather she, was late by two minutes.

"Good morning, Ranma," Mrs. Morisato said as she skidded through the door. "You know where the buckets are."

"Yes, ma'am." Barry answered. "Could I stop at the nurse's office for some hot water first?"

"Of course. But hurry!"

Barry barreled away, wondering. As far as he knew, this was the first time Mrs. Morisato had seen him in his cursed form, yet she had not reacted at all. She must have seen photos of Ranma in her briefing when she was hired. Yeah, that was it. Still, she was much calmer than any other person who had run across the curse for the first time. Barry skidded to a halt and the nurse, after a single glance, held out the kettle.

Male again, he blazed back to class, got the buckets and took up position in the hall. To pass the time, he juggled the buckets, working out patterns and movements in an attempt to expand his understanding of Ranma's skills. This kind of thing was becoming a constant waking habit. Another habit was the constant scanning of the surroundings with ki-vision.

"Don't try it, Fruitcake." Still juggling, he turned around and faced the principal of Furinkan.

"Dee buckets ain't fo' jugglin', Ranma! Day fo' hangin' on de ends o' yo' arms. Yo don' wannabe de-lin-quent, do ya?"

"Deez buckets day gonna land on de principal's head, day will, if de principal, he ain't a good kahuna!" Barry mocked.

Kuno growled. It was obviously going to be another one of those years. Maybe he could fail the little bastard and torture him again next year? Hmmm… Would it be worth it? Probably not. All the people that fought with Ranma would be gone. Now, where in Nerima could he find some uninformed but skilled underclassmen?

Not having a clear advantage, he sneered at Ranma and edged past. "Yo one bad keiki, Ranma. I'll see yo at de assembly Friday. We see who laugh den!"

"Whatever." Barry continued to juggle and wondered what Kuno would do if they ever got a transfer student from Hawaii. Probably warp the poor idiot for life. Either that or go into a depression when he found out what a real Hawaiian thought of his garb, attitude, and affected speech.

So next Friday was an assembly, hmmm?

* * *

Classes went smoothly until just before the final bell. Miss Hinako was doing roll again, in case someone left early. Barry had left, in spirit if not in body, and Shampoo stared in fascination at his bobbing pigtail. Barry was still operating with his ki-vision, if not in a conscious manner. Shampoo reached to tug at his pigtail. Barry unconsciously dodged. She tried again, faster. Same result. Curious and becoming excited, she tried to trap that bobbing, weaving object.

Akane answered the call for her name and turned toward Barry. Ranma's name had been called early on and he had answered with the muffled snort that Akane recognized. The baka was falling asleep. She turned to deliver a scathing comment and saw Shampoo snatching at the deceptively bobbing braid of hair on the back of his head. Class dismissal suddenly became exciting.

"Shampoo! What do you think…" she began, outraged yet intrigued by the interplay.

Barry woke with a snort, the braid still for a moment.

Shampoo excitedly grabbed the braid. And having gained this advantage, she put it to good use, yanking him over backwards and trying to kiss him to his tonsils. "MmmRGF, FAMPU!"

"Happo-go-en-satsu!" piped a shrill, childish voice. "Delinquents," the voice added in similar, but mature, tones.

* * *

"What were you two thinking?" Akane growled, while supporting two totally wiped out individuals on the way home from school. "Miss Hinako won't put up with that!"

"Ranma?" Shampoo groaned. The only good thing about this was that her left arm, flung across Akane's shoulders, rested across the back of Ranma's neck and his right arm, flung across Akane's shoulders dangled his hand over her shoulder to occasionally brush against the side of her breast. "Ranma," she repeated, "Japanese high school worse than warrior training. Vampire-teacher scary."

"I'm tryin' ta sleep over here," he mumbled in return.

Akane dropped him. "Grow up," she said in disgust. "And as for _you_, you hussy, I thought we agreed the Amazon training you had was flawed?"

"So sorry," Shampoo giggled weakly, obviously not sorry at all.

"_Honestly_!"

Mousse dropped off a rooftop and joined them. He stood there, silent and enigmatic, mysterious, if you didn't realize that he was trying to figure out who was who without his glasses. With one chance in three to glomp the right girl, and three chances of three that he'd get punched out regardless, this could be a difficult choice. If one must endure pain, it should at least be rewarded with pleasure as well.

Finally deciding that the two figures standing so close together must be the hated Saotome and his lovely Shampoo, he pointed dramatically.

"Ranma, prepare to meet the righteous wrath…"

"Is Shampoo, Mousse."

"Wa—! Sorry! Ranma prepare…"

"Mousse, use your glasses. I'm Akane and I'm not in the mood to play."

Mousse took a step back in consternation. Akane and Shampoo were… It didn't make sense. Finally, he put on his hated specs.

"What happened to you?" he exclaimed at the totally drained looking figures before him.

"Was wonderful…" drawled Shampoo lazily as if sated from passion.

"What?" Mousse grabbed the sides of his head. Did this mean…? "Saotome, prepare to _die_!" So enraged was the young man that he didn't even wait to use his weapons, but went after his foe with his bare hands. To his surprise, he succeeded.

"Mousse!"

"Gaak!"

"Aiya! No hurt airen!"

(Bam! Crunch! Wham! Punt-punt! Wham!)

Akane and Shampoo looked at one another across Mousse's prone form.

"If anyone asks, _you_ beat him, understand?" Akane said tensely. "Do you have to tease the poor guy that way?"

"Am sorry. Mousse too-too easy."

"I'm the only one in shape to walk home, Shampoo," Akane shouted. "I am not carrying all of you!"

* * *

"What happened to you?" Cologne stood in the kitchen door of the Nekohanten and watched Akane Tendo, carrying a duck and a cat and dragging a red-haired girl by her pigtail, walk through the front door. Akane's face looked as stormy as the kamikaze of legend. After meeting her eyes, the Matriarch composed herself and nodded understandingly. "I understand; I don't _want_ to know."

"…The monk related his experience to his abbot, who had it set down as a cautionary tale. The monk had nearly drowned crossing the swollen stream. In the sickness that followed, his spirit left his body and crossed a great divide where he lived another life. Great chariots floated in the sky and men communicated over great distances at will. The air was choked with poison and…"

Barry nodded and listened to the translation Mousse was giving of a copy of an ancient Shaolin chronicle. It was marginally similar to his own case and had, as part of the chronicle, a method of recalling the astral self and a ceremony of binding that insured that the victim of these astral travels would not float away again. The Amazons were understandably interested in the binding, and he was interested, though he couldn't show it, in the recall of the astral self.

"Why do I have to translate this for you, Saotome," muttered Mousse.

"Aw, c'mon, Mousse. Ya know yer doing this for Shampoo." Barry barely contained a yawn. Duck-boy recovered from his pounding far faster than he or Shampoo did from the ki-draining. "Stop whining."

"To think that an outsider like you has been blessed with a gift from the gods themselves is too much to bear!" Mousse snarled, clenching his fists.

"Yeah, yeah!" Barry was unimpressed. "The real problem is that you wanna be upstairs watching that animé with Akane an' Shampoo." Mousse reddened and stuttered. "Never woulda taken you for a senshi-fan though."

"Ran-ma!"

(bap!) "Ow!"

"Just shut up and translate, Mr. Part-time," Cologne said in passing. She paused as laughter came faintly from upstairs. She pogo-ed swiftly over to the steps.

"Shampoo, study first! Then you can watch your show. Tape it!"

"Yes, Grandmother," came the faint reply.

"Children," muttered the old woman. She turned back to Ranma and Mousse. "I'm almost surprised at how studious you are, boy."

Barry eyed her suspiciously. "You know about me and martial arts…"

"Indeed!" Apparently, Cologne was not suspicious. "When are you getting your homework caught up, by the way?"

"After dinner. Akane helps."

"Hmmm. Since you've discovered that Shampoo has been playing dumb, does her intelligence… detract from her appeal?"

"No, why should it?" Barry knew that Cologne was trying to assess Shampoo's chances for Ranma. The problem was to maintain the status quo. And with Akane going and openly declaring she wanted him…

"Some men are suspicious of intelligent women," continued the Matriarch.

Barry smiled easily. "Cologne, a guy's suspicious of _any _woman if he has reason ta think that the gal ain't actin' in his best interests. It's one a the reasons yer both at the top a my list."

"Hmmph!" The matriarch was unimpressed. "Shampoo could probably help you far better than Akane could. She really didn't need to go to school here."

"Not surprised at all after I saw her tearing through 'Moby Dick' yesterday. Which reminds me… Any chance I could learn that delayed study technique? Ya know 'read now, study later'?"

"Perhaps we could talk about it sometime," Cologne said too easily.

"Can we have some service out here?" someone yelled from out in the restaurant.

"I'm coming!" Cologne's look was one of disgust. She pogo-ed away.

Mousse glanced at Barry with an amused look. "You know how expensive her techniques can be?"

"Pity. Shall we get back to the chronicles of Shanghai Soon or whatever his name is?"

"That's Hsi Shang Tsu! And I hope you're remembering the information far better than the name, Saotome."

* * *

The shadows outside were getting long when Akane and Shampoo came down the stairs to the kitchen. Barry was arguing possible alternate meanings of the chronicle and Mousse defending a single interpretation. Apparently, the writers of the piece had some reason to couch it all in symbolism and the literary clichés of the time. Mousse was beginning to fall back on 'I'm Chinese so I should know what I'm talking about' with respect to the passage. Barry wasn't contradicting him so much as trying to get a feel for whether a different interpretation might be more reasonable. Akane glanced down at her watch and jerked in shock.

"We're going to be late for dinner!" To punctuate her exclamation, Barry's stomach growled like a wild thing.

"Comin'!" He turned to Mousse. "Never fall back on authority in an argument, Mousse. It tells anyone listenin' that yer not thinkin'. Even authority had to have somereason for doin' somethin' a particular way." He pointed to the debated passage in the scroll. "Even if they don't say so. Give the reason, not the authority. And if ya don't know, find out, okay? It might be the break we're lookin' for."

Mousse frowned, but had nothing further to say. As they moved to leave, Cologne intercepted them. "Perhaps you would like to stay for dinner some night," she offered. "It could give you more time for research, and Shampoo and Akane can do homework."

Barry looked at her and half smiled. "Whose treat?"

"Scamp!" Cologne laughed. "Ours, of course."

"Akane, too?"

"Considering how little she eats compared to you, we'll hardly notice her. Why not!"

"How about tomorrow, then? I seem ta remember Wednesday being a slow day around here."

"Good choice." Cologne hopped away leaving them to depart without further interruption. As they left, Akane could be heard to wonder whether the Nekohanten could survive such a drain on their resources. Ranma said something uncomplimentary, and the voices faded in a full-blown argument.

""Is this truly a wise course?"" Mousse asked in their village language in the comparative silence that followed.

""You know who is most likely to have been involved, Mousse."" Shampoo walked up beside him and stood almost touching. ""It is a terrible thing, the betrayal of trust within a family."" The fading light dropped mysterious shadows across their features.

"I'm happy you two have time to stand around," snapped Cologne moving swiftly past. "Get to work, children; it's the dinner rush! Be inscrutable on your own time."

* * *

Barry and Akane arrived home in time to receive a brief lecture on promptness from Kasumi before being sent to the showers, literally. After dinner came a bout of carpentry, a siege of homework and finally some peace and quiet to do a little sparring before bedtime. Besides, they both knew Ranma would have kept up Akane's training.

"Might as well," grumbled Akane standing up from where she had smashed her obligatory set of concrete blocks. "Besides," she rationalized, "we're not sleeping otherwise."

She took her position across from Barry and set herself, scowling in what he privately thought of as Akane's Demon Mask. So predictable. That thought sparked a series of related subjects and he straightened up again. "Time out, Akane." He tapped palm and fingers together in a 'T' shape.

Since Ranma was known to attack during time-outs, Akane did no such thing. She attacked. Barry yelped and dodged, tumbling to another stance at right angles to her original attack. "I really meant 'Time out!" he yelled, crossly.

"What?" Suspicious, she didn't lower her guard.

"You really give yourself away that way, Akane." He pointed to her face and his. "Your face could scare a gargoyle when you do that."

"Well, excuse me!" she said, hotly. "I thought we're supposed to intimidate our opponents."

"Now, Akane, you have to admit that there are times you don't want to do that. But I've never seen you _not_ try to scare 'em ta death first." Hetapped his chin,considering. There was so much Ranma had planned to cover. "Ya waste time gettin' set, too. Let me show ya."

He crouched and, during the next ten seconds, let his face twist into a horrible snarl. She looked doubtful. Whimsically, he then crossed his eyes, stuck his tongue out and his thumbs in his ears, wiggling his fingers.

Akane coughed in surprise, then sat down trying to choke off laughter.

"Sorry, but everyone gotta laugh sometimes," he said. "Seriously, though, the time it takes ta set up and the effect it has on yer opponent can be detrimental. Some opponents aren't going to let you get set.

"Your point is?"

Barry raised his hand with the thumb and index fingers sticking out. "Bang!" he said loudly.

A spark leaped from the end of his finger to scorch Akane's gi. "Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!" he continued.

"Hey!" She stumbled back looking betrayed, and slapped at the scorch marks on her clean gi. "Do you have to ruin my clothes to make a point?"

"If I were an armed enemy, you would now be dead, Akane," he said quietly. "All your hopes and dreams, and the dreams anyone had involving you, would be dead with you." Akane looked down at the pattern of marks on her gi. Five marks just over her heart that a hand could cover. "Now let's see if you can do better.

"But we don't have guns in Japan," she said protesting. "It's not like America. That wasn't fair!"

"You don't have _legal_ guns in Japan, you mean. There's no point arguing America's gun problem. I'm sure some people over here think your martial arts training is a bit unfair, too." He stared her down. "They're the ones who'll use a gun as an equalizer and get some innocent bystander killed as they let fly."

"But we were talking about facial expressions!" she fairly screamed at him.

"Bang!" he said again. She saw his arm come down and dodged, but the spark tagged her shoulder solidly. "A forty-five-caliber would've ripped your arm off. Smaller than forty-caliber …and you might be conscious and alive enough to make me regret it."

"What does this have to do with facial expressions?"

Barry sighed. He raised his other hand up and gripped an invisible body by the throat. "You have to make a gun-armed opponent want to hold his fire. Hostage situation. An out-of-luck salaryman has flipped his wig and tried to rob a bank in desperation. He got the gun from some idiot yakuza or maybe it's one his grandfather never turned in at the end of the war." The 'gun hand' came up and pointed toward an imaginary head. "Now what do you do?"

She scowled.

"Bang!" he said simply, making her start and open her mouth to complain.

"Wait a minute…"

He cut her off. "Akane, you _scared_ me."

"_I _scared _you_?" Tones of disbelief and outrage were in evidence.

"Okay. You scared the imaginary hostage taker. C'mon, Juliet! You can do better." He set himself again as the panicky gunman.

"Please!" Akane said suddenly, her eyes huge her voice trembling. "Please, don't hurt me." She moved closer. "I… I don't want to…"

As she closed on him, he pivoted slowly away. As she got within striking range, he turned his finger toward her and she flashed into action. She took his 'gun hand' past his shoulder and used the leverage to throw him heavily to the floor, which gave off a resounding boom.

After catching his breath, he smiled at the triumphant girl. "Much better. But not always the best technique." She scowled again and he ducked in imaginary terror.

"Baka! I'll be the 'gunman' and you show me how much better you can do this."

"Okay." He watched her set herself again about six meters away. "Ready?" She nodded. He turned and walked quickly and quietly out of the dojo.

"Barry?" She was left alone and feeling ridiculous in the center of the dojo. "Barry? What are you up to?" She spun around trying to watch all the windows at once. "Barry, this isn't funny! What is the point of all this?" She stomped to the door and poked her head out. "Barry?"

"BOO!" Fingers poked her ribs. "Gotcha!"

"YAAAH!" (Mallet!)

"Ow!" He reached up and peeled Akane's extra-large-size meat tenderizer off his skull. "Mousse taught you to hide that thing, didn't he?" he asked painfully.

"What did you do that for?" she demanded, ignoring his question.

"Another application of the Saotome special technique — run away until you can win." Barry smirked painfully. "Worked pretty good, didn't it?"

"Why you…" Her anger was replaced by something else. "Why didn't Ranma teach me this stuff? Why didn't my dad?"

"I'm sure they know it. Most of this is from Ranma's memories. I think he believed you already knew this. As for your dad…" Barry shrugged. "Maybe he didn't want to think of his 'little girl' in a situation like that. I don't really blame him." He watched her face register his assessment. "It's easier for a stranger to see some things than it is for a loving parent, Akane."

They re-entered the dojo. "Another thing I catch you doing in Ranma's memories, though not as much since he trained you, is that you go on the defensive as soon as you're attacked." He turned and launched a series of probing attacks her way. "You rarely counter aggressively until you get mad or scared." He intensified the attacks, forcing her back. "All the martial arts are arts of 'gentleness'. It's hard to develop fully, if you're thrashing around in a frenzy." She grabbed an arm, kicked at his weight-bearing leg and swung him into a hip throw. He landed and rolled, attacking again almost immediately.

"I do not thrash around in a frenzy!" She blocked two punches, slid a kick aside and brought her knee up. He slipped the knee, landed a punch on her ribs, and received a glancing blow as her other leg arced around in a heel strike. She used the momentum of her failed knee strike and his punch against her ribs to flip away.

"Really?" He cartwheeled into contact again, striking but not connecting with multiple kicks from his right leg as he came upright. "Why do you think you used to miss Ranma when you two sparred? Your attacks were rough, telegraphed and had so much power in them that it threw you off balance. And those poor idiots every morning — thrash, crunch, pow... _Ow_!"

A back-fist slipped his defense and hit his forehead. He barely blocked the subsequent elbow strike that tried to slip under his arms. Barry counterattacked with a leg sweep. Akane bounced back a step to regain balance, and began to circle. "I did fine against those boys!" she snapped.

"Yeah, but they mostly weren't in your league." He grimaced and swayed out of a snap kick, encouraging her into over-extension with a jerk on her ankle. "I have to admit I'd have run if forty idiots jumped out at me like that." He looked her in the eyes. "I think Ranma would have, too."

"Really?" Akane asked, surprised.

"Akane, sometimes you have more guts than common sense." He went airborne then and began using the force of resistance to his blows to keep him elevated. "That's my opinion, not his, by the way." Akane slipped away, forcing Barry to the floor again, where she struck a single calculated blow to the upper stomach, sending him skidding out the dojo entry.

"It wasn't like that." She said more easily as he flipped back in. "They started out in individual challenges, then small groups." By unspoken consent, they met at the dojo center and crossed wrists like fencers in en garde. Barry moved and reached in, not with a blow, but to tweak her nose. "Oooh! Keep serious! After a couple of weeks they started joining up into larger groups. I just kept getting madder." Barry's blow slipped in from the set position, but only slapped gently against her cheek. "Barry, if you don't stop that and do it right, I'm going to hurt you! By the time they had all joined the Let's beat Akane Club, I was so angry…" Her blow beat Barry's this time and rocked him backwards.

"Anger again, you see?" He said rubbing his cheek. "You might see Ranma get determined, but he rarely actually _loses it_ in a fight. He keeps his anger controlled. You don't."

She stepped back and glared at him. "Then why did Ranma do all those things up at the lake? They weren't designed to make me feel happy!"

"No. They were designed to get you past your feelings of inadequacy. You didn't believe that you could be better. He made sure you attained your goals and felt as if you earned every bit of your new skill. Your anger helped you there, but left your actual forms rough and sloppy."

"I did not feel inadequate! I was the best in Nerima till he came…"

"And a distant fourth among the people who chased him here and settled down, with others wandering in and out who were uniformly competent enough to ignore you." He watched her quiver in rage and mortification.

"Anger again. You still feel inadequate, Akane." He paused to let her anger grow before his next verbal attack. "What you are, though, is good, very good. Right now, you're nearly on par with Ryoga or Shampoo. You might well become strong enough and fast enough to give Ranma or Taro a run for their money. Just keep in mind there is always someone, somewhere who's better than you are." He smirked. "At least, temporarily."

They did one last set and Akane went skidding across the floor in a loose sprawl. She shook her head and rolled automatically to her feet. "That… hurt."

Barry glared at her. "What did I tell you yesterday about that? You've been winning partly because I won't use lethal techniques. You left yourself open because you forgot how your defense could be used as a pivot for that crescent kick. Mutsabetsu Kakuto, tomboy! _Anything _can be used to your advantage, or used by your opponent for theirs." He paused. Anything goes?It was evolving art form. It sought advantage through what was available and possible to create the new and unexpected. He continued less forcefully. "Attacks must strike and withdraw quickly, defenses must be strong but yielding and gentle to frustrate and misdirect your opponent's blows. We are going to be spending more time on that," He nodded thoughtfully before catching her eyes with his,"but not right now."

Akane limped over, puzzled at his emphasis. "Why not?"

"We're gonna concentrate on ki techniques. Ranma and I thought they'd be the key to sending me home. They should also be the key to getting him back." He smiled at her. "And you're the only one I can completely trust to help make it happen."

She stared at him for a long time. She finally licked her lips and spoke. "Barry, I'm only calling up a little spark. I can't even project ki, yet! Why do I…"

"Feeling inadequate again?"

Her jaw snapped shut, and she glared. "It's not the same."

"It is the same. You have comparable ki structures to Ranma's girl-form. Mousse and Ryoga also show structures that indicate they could learn far more than they know now. Tatewaki does it, though he doesn't realize it. Are you saying you can't do what the Blue Blunder does without realizing?"

He smirked at her and Akane boiled. Then she looked past her anger and realized that Barry was pushing buttons the same way Ranma had. "Let's get started, then."

"Good girl." Barry smiled. "Better than I expected. The key to the techniques is the ki-vision. I think I can show you how it works. Once you have that, you can essentially watch how your body uses ki and flex those areas that you feel need development." He watched her closely. "Think you're up to me messing with your aura? I don't think I'll need to physically touch you, but it may get uncomfortable."

"Barry, I want Ranma back. I've been around you enough that I think I trust you. Do what you have to do."

Barry bowed low to her in profound respect and gratitude for her trust. "We will get Ranma back," he said when he met her eyes.

"Let's do it."


	26. Making the Call

**Guest Ki: Chapter 25**

_**Making the Call**_

"Akane…"

She opened her eyes. A callused, muscular yet delicate hand was inches from her face. At the other end of the arm a face, framed by red hair with a humorous, resigned look, smiled back at her and rolled its eyes. "What's wrong?" she asked. "I'm not going to hit you, you know."

"I know that," Akane said a bit defensively.

"You should have seen your face." Barry scrunched up her face, as if dreading a coming blow. It might have been comical except for the serious expression.

"Barry, don't go there. I'm nervous, okay?

They were kneeling, knees almost touching, in the center of the dojo. Barry had returned to Ranma's girl-type in the hope that Akane would be less defensive toward her this way. Barry would also have access to a living blueprint to compare what Akane was doing to achieve the ki-vision. But even given the concessions, Akane was not comfortable.

"Okay, Akane. Just understand I'm not going to do much more than observe. I'll only interfere or help you if you ask me to. There is no need to get it all tonight." The redhead waited until Akane nodded again and closed her eyes.

"Now, center yourself, Akane. Feel for that sense of being that separates you from everything else." Barry deliberately made her voice low and melodious. Kuno would have loved it. "Breathe… That's it, let everything become distant." To Akane, Barry's voice did seem far away. "Feel for your center and focus, then let the focus flow out again, like waves chasing up the sands of a beach. The waves don't care how high they reach yet strive anyway; without care, tranquil and eternal." The occasional murmur of Barry's voice began to work with the flow of her disassociated state.

Akane had suggested Barry's verbal images. Despite her ineptness at swimming, she loved the sea and found it very relaxing. She felt the beat of her heart, sensed the flow of blood through her limbs and body. She let the beat of her heart match the ebb and flow of the tides of her awareness, breathing and existing, floating… "Good, Akane," came the whisper, rippling her harmony before fading again.

"Hands, Akane, let it flow and surge, call out the spark like we've done before." Again came that slight ripple, quickly dispersed. She felt very comfortable like this. Yet the words left a resonant curiosity and she strove to direct the flow of her awareness to dance and whisper in a corner of her being. "Good now, center again." She drifted to her center, a feather on the waves. "Become more aware of the waves. Feel how the waves expand from the center, actually, from several centers. Check them out, Akane. Drift from one to another, to another…"

"Careful of that one, Akane," Barry's voice came in more firmly. "You don't strike me as _that_ kind of girl."

"Hmmm?" Akane had gotten used to Barry's voice, letting the ripples of the disturbance be absorbed by her larger consciousness. "What is it?"

"Sexual energy, pleasure centers, some other things, too."

"Oh." No, she thought distantly, she didn't want to go there. She wondered briefly how Barry knew what they were though.

"If you can, look for the tighter, brighter realities and try to see them as pieces of a puzzle. Don't touch anything at this point just observe."

"Barry, what am I looking at or for?" The turmoil of her uncertainty threatened to disturb the regular even beat of her perception.

"Hard to say. You're the one doing the looking. Getting the basics to the ki-sight aren't difficult – it's partly a matter of perspective and maybe partly luck. Try to look or feel for something that's active and fairly dense or tight. That should be your heart; then orient yourself from there."

Akane shifted and searched, seeking for that familiar starting point. She'd had it at the start. She could not orient. She felt her floating sensation begin to recede in frustration.

"Just relax, Akane, I'm going to try something."

"Barry, no. I…"

"Relax. I'm not going to do anything with the aura and I won't invade your space. I can tell you're close." Akane relaxed again at the thought that she was at least on the right track. "Just relax and I'll be right back."

Faint tremors, like distant earthquakes disturbed this new reality, but they faded. Akane worked to relax the tension and anxiety that so often plagued her. The imagery of water didn't seem like such a good idea now. Water and floating carried an undercurrent of failure. She sought within her memories of some moment when she felt utterly at peace. Her thoughts turned to her mother, and the warmth and love they shared. Her heart rate dropped and her breathing became deeper, fuller. The safety of her mother's loving arms. It had been so long, though.

Her awareness spread out like a soft silky blanket. She skirted the edges of consciousness resting in the memory of those arms. But that memory suggested a closer more recent memory. Resting in the strong arms of a certain young man, knowing that he would let no force that walked the earth harm her…

She drifted, savoring the memory. It was only with difficulty that she kept on the right side of consciousness. The tremors returned, and something cool disturbed her perception. Faintly she distinguished a pattern of sensations that flared near to the center of the new awareness. Cool…

"Akane, let's see what this feels like to you."

The coolness became stronger, more defined, then flared, along with a new sensation that swept like a sudden storm and awakened other sensations down into her center. The silken blanket of her reverie snapped like a flag in a gale its motion directing her-! "Relax… breathe… That was a little taste of ice cream, by the way. Try to bring into focus the sensation and the memory of the sensation. Let it orient you. Distinguish where your center is, relate it to the taste that began at your lips…"

Akane suddenly gasped and shook herself, almost jerking to her feet.

"You okay, there?" Akane blinked and looked toward the voice. She sank back down to her knees and groaned as her joints protested. "Next time," Barry promised, "we'll try a prone position. Provided you can stay awake, it might be easier to orient…"

"I saw it." Her voice was awed. "Up till you gave me the ice cream, it was like… I was spread out, not really aware of where I was – just being. I don't really know how to describe it. I could tell when I was further away from my center, but not really what anything was. Then you had me taste the ice cream. Yes!" She pumped her arms skyward then looked at Barry. She smiled grimly and held out her hand. "You better not have eaten it all."

"Who? Me?" Barry laughed then and held out a bowl of slightly soupy chocolate ice cream. "There's more in the kitchen."

Akane looked at her critically but quickly spooned the ice cream away. "It's not that I don't trust you, you understand," she said, shaking the spoon at her. "It's just that I'm used to Ranma's stomach getting the better of him."

Barry nodded and suddenly yawned. "I think sleep deprivation is getting the better of me. Let's call it a night."

"I'd like to spar one more time, Barry." Akane requested, putting aside the empty bowl. She looked at him hopefully and the redhead groaned and sighed.

"You are a glutton for punishment, girl." Barry yawned again and took up a position near the center of the dojo. "Win, lose or draw, no more tonight."

Akane began the attack with a punch and spin kick combo that Barry dodged, then ducked, retaliating with a leaping crescent that Akane passed with delicate precision over her head. They traded blows with little consequence for about thirty seconds. Then, as Barry was stifling a yawn that broke through, despite the flow and heat of combat, it happened.

Akane slid past a blow but ignored it, attempting to gain a lock on Barry's forward leg in preparation of an anchored blow of her own. She had found this to be a particularly effective way of reducing Ranma's mobility, when it worked. But this time, the out-stretched arm curled around her head in a headlock and strong fingers suddenly dug into her chin. She and Barry realized at the same moment what the next move would logically be. She immediately aborted her attack, throwing everything she had into an effort to turn with the jerk of that hand which, if successful, would snap her neck like a twig. Barry strove desperately to open those gripping fingers and interrupt the flow of response that had brought them to this instant.

Akane hit the floor with a limp, heavy sound that brought Barry's heart to her throat. "Akane! _Akane_? Please be all right! Akane?"

She probed with ki-vision at the other girl's neck, perceiving the bruised muscle instantly but not finding evidence of damage to bone or nerve. The flow of ki seemed to continue uninterrupted through and about her body. After a moment, Barry decided not to run for the ambulance but kept up the probing and repeated verbal inquiries, praying for a response.

"That one hurt," suddenly came a hesitant reply. "What did you do that for?"

Barry knelt there beside her and burst into tears of relief. Akane slowly pushed herself up and felt her bruised neck and watched the redhead for a while. Barry tried to tell her how sorry she was, tried to apologize, but the thought of how close she had come to killing Ranma's fiancée kept giving her the horrors. Akane finally brought a hand back and slapped. (CRACK!) Barry rocked sideways and the delicate pink skin reddened. She gulped and subsided.

"I… know it sounds silly, but thanks, I needed that."

"Ri-i-ight," Akane said quietly. "What happened, Barry?"

"Um… Okay… Akane, it's like I tried to tell you," Barry said in gulping tones as she tried to keep her newly regained control. "I am not Ranma. I haven't lived martial arts all my life. I'm like an inexperienced rider on a superbly trained horse. Unless I pay two hundred percent of my attention to what is happening, the horse will do what it was trained to do, what it _has to do_ to win in any given situation. That is why Ranma spent all that time in the woods. He was training me how _not_ to use his body." Barry took a deep breath, held it and then continued. "Ranma was afraid that you'd get aggressive and I'd react to how you act and hurt or even killyou without meaning to. But no one can, in the time we had, gain the experience and especially the discretion that Ranma developed for himself."

Akane looked stormy for a moment, then considered. If a stranger were treated the way she treated Ranma… She shook her head sadly. 'What a waste.'

"There are lots of paths to chose from; but since I've only rarely traveled some of those pathways, I often don't know what's at the end of them. I don't know, until just before I strike or grip or… whatever, that this move can do X, Y and Z, killing my opponent. When that happens and I hesitate while I look for a different path, you clobber me. If I didn't look, though, or if I'm not paying attention…" She waved the offending hand and gulped back a sob, shuddering. "I shouldn't have let you talk me into sparring with you when I was this tired. I didn't pay enough attention and…and…" Barry curled into a ball and banged her head on the floor in an agony of remorse and relief.

"Stop that!" Akane grabbed the pigtail and hauled the smaller girl upright. "I left myself open, dammit! If a sore neck is what it takes to make me take sparring more seriously, then it was worth it."

"Akane, I nearly…"

"…Broke my neck. I know!" She forced Barry to look her in the eye. "And if it was a serious fight against Shampoo or someone of her skill, I'd be dead. So now I'm better informed and more prepared from my experience." Barry nodded, but miserably. "Barry, at the level in the Art Ranma or even I have achieved, there is always a certain amount of danger. I accept that for my Art. I can see you wouldn't deliberately hurt me. In a way, I'm glad it happened. I just didn't understand what you meant before, about how you used Ranma's skills. We'll just have to make adjustments. From now on, whenever we spar and I go for a move you could counter dangerously, call a break. We'll go over it nice and slow, so I know how to counter it. Then we'll test it faster, and move on to full speed."

"But, Akane…"

"Barry, I don't want a gap like this in my education. I don't want to put Ranma through another Jusendo because I wasn't good enough. You will help me with this."

"Yes, Akane," Barry sighed resignedly. Jusendo and the flames that roared in Ranma's memories. Never that.

"But we also won't push you past where you're comfortable again." She rubbed her neck thoughtfully. Barry sighed and stared at the floor feeling empty. "And stop moping around like that, for kami's sake! If Aunt Nodoka saw you, you know what she'd do."

* * *

The next morning, Soun noticed the bruised and stiff neck of his youngest daughter. The demon head was predictable, but the snarling defense Akane put up was not. Soun quickly retreated behind his paper and left them alone.

"How is your neck?" Barry asked Akane quietly.

"Stiff," she admitted. "Would have been worse if Ranma hadn't shown me his quick healing trick at the lake. How are you feeling?"

"Dead. I kept dreaming about that…" He leaned over for more privacy and whispered in her ear. "Except I didn't stop in time. And when I rolled you over, you had Gwen's face." Akane shuddered and winced, putting a hand back to her neck.

"Here is your breakfast," Kasumi said brightly.

"Thanks, Kasumi."

"Thank you, oneechan."

"Oh, Ranma?" Kasumi nodded to him from her place at the table. "I forgot yesterday when you came in so late. Ryoga called. He said he and Akari found something of interest, but he wouldn't say anything more. I hope it wasn't important."

"Nothing we can't take care of today, Kasumi, I'm sure," Barry replied smiling. "It's just a project we've undertaken cooperatively in studying ki techniques."

"Really?" Soun lowered his paper cautiously and regarded them. "Whose school will benefit from this?"

"Uh, both, I guess." He looked puzzled as Soun frowned.

"This is not exactly a wise course of action, Ranma," the Tendo patriarch suggested. "What you're creating here, are new techniques that should be sealed to our school. It's dangerous to let someone as unstable as the Hibiki boy have access to this information." Akane and Barry exchanged glances.

"Father Tendo," Barry said with great formality. "Ryoga is a master linguist. Without his help we wouldn't _have_ access to certain kinds of information. It would not be honorable to use his abilities then deny him the opportunity to benefit from the results."

"You mean… _you_ can't read Chinese." Soun retorted.

"Partly," Barry admitted. "But he's a martial artist and knows what I'm looking for. He's a friend, also, and no matter how pissed off at him I was over Akane, I want him in on this."

Soun seemed to ignore him. "Kasumi can read Chinese."

Barry nodded. "That's not a bad idea, Tendo. Kasumi?"

"Yes, Ranma?" That individual put down her bowl and folded her hands in her lap.

"Do ya have time to visit any of the local shrines or bookstores where they might have old texts on work with auras and ki?"

Kasumi looked thoughtful. "I could check with old Mr. Sakitanaga. Tofu bought most of his old books from him."

"That would be great. Do you know any other languages besides Chinese?" Barry hadn't previously considered the old bookstores. They might need to work up some cash, though, so that Kasumi could actually buy the books.

"Not really. Most of Tofu's outside texts were written in Chinese, so there was no need. Would it help you if I learned another language?"

"Kasumi…" Both Akane and Barry sighed at the offer.

"Kasumi," Akane said, "I don't really think you need to do that, at least not unless you wanted to."

"You are really special, 'Sumi," added Barry. Her smile reminded Barry of someone else, though. "You know, I think I know someone you ought to meet."

Kasumi's eyes twinkled and her smile deepened. "Are you trying to play matchmaker, Ranma?" Barry coughed. That was not what he meant. Akane grinned. She knew what Barry intended.

"Kasumi! He means you should meet Mrs. Morisato, the new history teacher. We think you'd like her."

"She's… she's not anything like Miss Hinako, is she?" quavered Soun.

"She's happily married, for one thing," Barry chuckled as Soun sighed in relief. "Akane overheard some girls talking to her about that." Barry caught the faint discontent that flickered on Kasumi's face. "I really think you should talk to her, Kasumi. Who knows, maybe she can help you." Kasumi's startled look was missed when Soun decided to probe what was for him an important, never-to-be-put-off question.

"You two seem to be getting along so well…"

Akane glanced at her watch and grimaced. "Ranma, you're late again." Wind seemed to gust as Barry took to his heels. "Bye, Daddy, I'm stopping by the Nekohanten. Shampoo worked out a math problem that I was stuck on, and I want to see how she did it." She stopped at the kitchen counter and sighed. "And he forgot his lunch again, too."

* * *

Barry felt a sense of _déjà vu _as he dropped from the rooftops to the mezzanine in front of the gates of the high school. At least three-dozen boys faced off against Shampoo, Akane and Ryoga. Behind them, Akari looked ready to send in Katsunishiki as backup. Barry wandered in annoyed. It was almost a shame to help these idiots avoid the natural extinction such stupidity should deserve.

"All right! Cool it, everybody," he yelled as Ryoga, a hard look on his face, began to move forward aggressively. "Just hold it!" He watched the martial artists' faces then turned toward the male students who stood in their block before the gates. "Are you guys doin' what I think yer doin'?"

"It's not fair, Saotome," several shouted together. They argued briefly among themselves before sending out a spokesman.

"Ranma Saotome, it is not fair that you keep the four cutest girls in Furinkan to yourself!" Barry looked quizzically at the Kuno-wannabe that stood before him. After a moment, he recalled the name — Kogara Daibunmasatsu. Appropriate.

"Blah, blah… Like I make 'em hang around, Kogara."

"Well we've heard about Amazons, Ranma, so we'll take Shampoo from you!" There was a chorus of growls from the rest of the pack.

"Are you planning on fightin' me? Or Shampoo?"

"She said it herself; if she loses to an outsider male, she must date him!"

"That's not what she meant, you dorks!" Barry growled. "Ya don't know anything about the Joketsuzoku."

"We know enough."

"Do you?" He turned back to look at Shampoo. "Hey, Amazon, Kogara here finds you fascinatin'. If he wanted to win your hand, as an outsider, what must he do?"

Shampoo stood tall and proud. "If Shampoo challenge stick-boy, and stick-boy win, Shampoo his if he also beat Airen. If Shampoo not challenge, then stick-boy must beat Airen first, then Shampoo." Crossing her arms, she raised her head as if the issue was not worth considering. "

"Well, Kogara, are ya up to it?" Barry smirked and examined the bokken he held for line and quality. "I mean, martial arts is my life, so no matter what I feel, I can't and won't throw it." His eyes narrowed and he smiled nastily. "Can you take me, Kogara?"

The young man reached to his belt and suddenly became aware of where Ranma had gotten the bokken. He blanched and backed away nervously. New captain of the Kendo Club he might be, but he was nowhere near as dense as Tatewaki Kuno. "It's not fair!" he complained, but with less enthusiasm.

"Why doncha losers try askin' 'em if they'd like a date? Give them flowers and candy or somethin'? Do ya idiots hafta make advances that give girls the idea yer more interested in gang rape than romance?" Suddenly a totally evil look flashed across Ranma's face. Akane and Ryoga who knew who was behind that face blanched in turn. There were whole volumes of Barry Barlowe they didn't understand or know about. This could get interesting.

"Tell ya what. Maybe ya need to learn a little more about the girls' side of things." He rubbed his hands together. "Now I'm not Kuno, but maybe it's time someone lays some new ground rules." He laughed nastily again, and the assembled young men all quickly found reasons to be elsewhere. He heard mutters of Nyanniichuan and chuckled to think they might believe he would consider cursing them the way he was.

"What are you up to, Ranma?" Ryoga growled suspiciously.

"Yes, what are you planning, _Ranma_?" Akane chimed in.

"I'm not plannin' anything! I was just thinkin'; last night, we talked about how those idiots was houndin' ya that year?It's too bad I can't pull a Kuno and declare it was 'Amazon Culture Month'?" Shampoo immediately laughed in glee, while Akane and Ryoga looked mystified. "I bet Granny would let us have a copy of Amazon rules ta use. Huh, Shampoo?"The violettressed Amazonnodded enthusiastically.

Akane groaned, while Ryoga still looked uncertain about the concept. She moved closer to Barry to hear what he was saying to Shampoo, now.

"Remember, Amazon," Barry was saying. "No killin'. This won't stop some of the losers from tryin' anyway, but they ain't worth the trouble. No maimin' either, unless ya wanna be deported faster than a bullet train."

"What then?" Shampoo complained. "They no expect Amazon let stupid boys play that game!"

"No, no, Shampoo. No killin', no maimin', but painful and embarrassin' leaves a wide field to exploit. The more embarrassin' it is, the less likely they'll be to try again."

Shampoo's face became a study in amused and anticipatory mayhem.

* * *

During lunch, Ryoga showed them his notes on a three-scroll set he and Akari found at a shrine in west Tokyo.

A woman had been injured and spoke in a foreign language for many years, acting as if she were another person. The presiding physician had also been a mystic and had detailed differences and similarities between the two individuals in terms of ki, as well as recording a phonetic account of her story in what was reputed to be her native language. The language was not one with which Ryoga was familiar, at least not in the form it was presented.

The mystic claimed that two women had apparently undergone very similar traumas and that somehow their entire beings from the astral through the spiritual plane had been switched.

"And?" Barry asked excitedly. It felt right. Maybe…

"The scroll didn't say," Ryoga replied. "They certainly didn't get the original woman back in what I read." He shrugged. "Maybe there's another story somewhere that tells what happened."

"Arrgh!" Barry rubbed his temples and tried to contain his frustration. He saw that Akane was feeling similarly. "Thanks, Ryoga. Keep on pluggin'. Are you up to tryin' some new ki techniques?"

Ryoga swallowed. "Can we do it long distance? It really creeps me out, what you tried at the lake."

"Akane's been havin' some success with ki-vision. I didn't have to do anything like that." Ryoga turned to Akane for confirmation.

"The only thing he did to me was feed me some ice cream."

Ryoga got a very odd expression on his face. "Ice cream? Does ice cream has an effect on ki?" He asked turning to Barry. Akane blinked uncertainly.

"Chocolate ice cream," added Barry biting his lip and nodding. "We haven't tried vanilla, yet, but you know how yin and yang work, ...P-chan."

Ryoga nodded in agreement before frowning. "What does chocolate or vanilla ice cream have to do with yin or yang?" he asked, trying to imagine the relationship. Hmmm. Dark and light.The subtle difference in taste.

Ryoga looked very disturbed yet excited. Ice cream affected ki! Akane was starting to lose it, so Barry anticipated her. Mysteriously he leaned forward, as if to drop pearls of hidden lore into Ryoga's eagerly awaiting waiting ears. "Nothing. They're just good flavors, that and fudge ripple which I like in particular."

"Nothing? Good flavors?" Ryoga's face went red realizing he'd been conned. "And _don't_ call me '_P-chan_'!"

* * *

As a result, that evening there were three martial artists for the late night workout. Barry cautioned Akari not to let Katsunishiki visit the koi pond. Soun would have a fit if he even knew they were there. Akane faced off against Ryoga for the first time since the lake.

"This is really difficult for me, you know," Ryoga said, circling.

"Tough Ryoga," said Akane smugly. "You better fight back, too."

"At least yer neck is better," commented Barry from the sidelines. Akari knelt politely, curious as to why Ryoga would be sparring with Akane instead of Ranma.

Ryoga started off. Using near-Amiguriken speed, the sudden opening of the ki-laden umbrella generated a shockwave that cracked like thunder. Akane was already moving over it in a soaring leap. The pattern of strikes she selected rained down on Ryoga like a hailstorm. Startled, he swept his umbrella in a crossing blow that drove her back.

She flipped to her feet and darted in, ducking the umbrella and coming up in a punishing open-hand strike that rocked his head back. He began to block with more vigor as the strikes began to annoy him and he began to view Akane more as an opponent and not a girl he was fond of. He got a sly look and suddenly seemed to drop away, curling into a back flip that spun Akane into a wall with the backlash of his right leg. The solid boom made Akari gasp, but Akane bounced off and laughed, roaring back in without a pause. She managed to disarm him, breaking his hold on his umbrella, and curled in to strike at his diaphragm with her elbow.

'It's like hitting a rock,' she thought, slipping the arms that tried to close on her. She rolled between his legs and struck out with both feet, flipping off her hands and rolling sideways when that didn't connect. The impact of his foot vibrated like a drum through the floor as he struck at where he had expected her to be. She swept and caught him off-balance. He turned his fall into a roll and leaped ricocheting off a support beam and picked up the pace.

"Don't worry, Akari," Barry told the surprised girl. "She nearly threw me through the floor the other day, and Ryoga is as close as it comes to indestructible."

"But Akane isn't, is she?" Akari returned with concern.

"No, but she's gotten much faster. What's funny is that she and Ryoga have very similar styles of fighting in terms of the basic philosophy." Ryoga then went airborne as if to disprove his words. "Uh-oh! He's gonna pay for that."

(BAM!)

Ryoga seemed to vanish and dust, bits of broken tile and a few loose boards fell down from the ceiling. They all ran over and peered up at the hole in the _dojo_ roof.

"Are you all right, Ryoga?" Akane called up.

"I can't believe you put me through the roof!" came back the aggrieved tones. "Ranma, yes! But me?"

"Quit being such a baby. Oh, and Ryoga, since you broke it…"

"Well, that's not quite fair, Akane," Barry chimed in. "Ya didn't tell him what the rules were in advance, after all." They heard footsteps cross the dojo roof and the light thump of Ryoga's landing outside.

"What rules?" Akari asked.

"Since ya didn't warn him," Barry continued, "ya can't really make him fix it."

"You mean I have to fix it?" Akane was now the aggrieved one.

"Ya didn't warn him, Akane."

"What's the deal?" asked Ryoga as he stepped back in, none the worse for wear except for some dirt acquired in his passage.

"That's really unfair!" grumbled Akane.

"We have a policy we use when sparring. Under our rules, if the impact of yer body against some part of the dojo breaks the dojo, yer responsible ta fix the dojo. But she didn't warn ya."

Ryoga considered that. Then he smiled perkily at Akane, who glowered and muttered. "I guess I lucked out," he chuckled. Akane ground her teeth.

"Not quite, pork chop," Barry rejoined. "There is a project we need ta do this weekend. Though it doesn't have anything to do with the dojo." Ryoga looked blank. Akari, no slouch, remembered his earlier warning about not letting Katsunishiki near the koi pond and became nervous.

"It's supposed to stay dry over the weekend and I was wonderin' if you and Akari could help me do a little landscaping?"

"Uh, I guess. But I thought we were all going to hit the shrines and temples this weekend?"

"I am so sorry for not having controlled…" Akari broke in, face flaming from embarrassment and chagrin. She had a very good idea of what must have happened without even looking. Barry cut her off easily.

"Akari, it's not really a big deal. Really! This kinda stuff follows me around all the time. People and animals don't act normal around me. With anyone else, 'Shiki woulda left it alone." Ryoga nodded in easy agreement. Apparently, the pig had damaged something when they were here last. He didn't have any idea how badly damaged the sumo pig had left it.

"Let's get down to business with the ki thing." Barry brought out some large cushions and plopped them down. "Experience is a wonderful thing, doncha know." Akane nodded and rubbed her legs.

"I think we should try the lotus position," Ryoga suggested. "It was designed for meditation, after all."

Ryoga and Akane settled down, each moving swiftly into the centering exercises of breathing to stabilize their metabolisms. Barry noted that Ryoga reached his center very quickly, while Akane took quite a bit longer.

"Could I try as well?" asked Akari. Barry shrugged.

"No reason why not." He went and got another cushion. Soon Akari was seated in the lotus position on the other side of Ryoga. Her centering was much, much slower in coming, as she had only a sketchy idea of what was needed.

Once Akane was centered and oriented, she rapidly began identifying the controlling areas of her ki, tracing and lightly touching lines and identifying reactions in her body. When she realized that she was dealing with purely physical reactions, she began to hunt around for others she knew had to be there. She began assigning colors to different influences and her world opened up further. Finally, she could clearly see how her aura and her body lined up.

She decided to experiment and recalled the procedure to call up the ki spark in her hands. Observing, she slowly relaxed the way she had before and saw golden threads seem to spin into being. Once she identified those, she had little difficulty in observing similar strands, unconnected to the work she was doing, but with a similar nature. She tried to make them brighter and smiled to herself at how easily this could be done.

"Akane, very carefully refocus yourself," came Barry's droning voice. "Look for your ki. Don't experiment yet. By the way, in case you didn't know, you're accessing what should be your astral levels which are the core of projective ki techniques."

Regretfully, she reduced the power she was calling out and refocused on finding and mapping her ki structure.

Outside her awareness, Ryoga finished slapping out a fire on his pants leg. He was wide-eyed, alarmed and holding his complaints only because Barry had clamped a hand over his mouth when he had been jolted out of his meditation by pain. Akari also jumped to her feet, eyes round. Akane, in calling up her ki and channeling it through her hands, had formed a ball of energy that scorched the floor and caught Ryoga's cushion and pants leg on fire. A meter or two away, Barry finished stamping out the cushion. Satisfied that all fires were under control for now, he tossed the pillow back to Ryoga and indicated the spooked martial artist should take a seat a little further way from the dark-haired girl.

"What did she…?" Ryoga stuttered in a whisper.

"I'm not sure, but you notice she instinctively protected herself from it. Soun is gonna kill me for scorching the floor, though." Barry, looking back at his student in ki, at first missed the look Ryoga gave him. Turning back, he frowned at the lost-boy's look of disbelief and chuckled. "What?"

"Was she getting ready to Mouko Takabisha or something? You didn't tell me…"

"Nah, nothin' like that! She wasn't trying to do anything but explore how far she could push her 'handlight'."

"Her what?"

"Hey, I don't have formal training, piggy. When you meditate and simply call your ki into your hands, I call it a 'handlight'."

"That was… that was a fireball three freaking meters across, dammit!"

"I have no idea how she did that and I was watching! That's why I grabbed you and made you shut up. I didn't want to inhibit her style." Barry grinned lopsidedly and looked back at the girl who sat unaware in a circle of smoking floorboards. "She may be a natural at this. I'll investigate that again when we have less combustible surroundings." Absently, they nodded as Akari excused herself and went out to check on her pig.

"Why don't you try again? Think about the Bakusai Tenketsu; you identify some point in a rock that you want to shatter as the breaking point. I think it might be related somehow to identifying resonant frequencies in a glass. Have you heard of how a singer can break a glass with their voice?"

"Yeah. I don't know. It doesn't feel that way, somehow."

"That's only an analogy. What if a rock has a resonant ki frequency? When I do that ribbon trick, I 'convince' my target's ki to accept my ribbon. The ribbon has to be also a part of the object; otherwise, it either ignores it or interferes with it."

Ryoga looked doubtful but settled down with several nervous glances at Akane. Resuming the lotus position, he slowly eased back toward a trance state. Barry went to check on Akane again.

"Hey, Akane, how is it going?" Barry kept his voice soft, slurring the hard sounds to minimize the distraction.

"Nice. I see so many things. Can you tell me what these are?" Though she didn't move, Barry clearly felt her indicate something.

"I'd have to be a little intrusive, Akane. Wouldn't you rather just investigate for yourself? You're doing great right now, you'll probably manage fine without me." He sighed with relief when she readily accepted the out he gave her. "Just don't try to project ki till we can work with your eyes open, okay?"

He wandered back over to Ryoga. "Feelin' smooth, P-chan?"

"Don't call me 'P-chan'," Ryoga muttered abstractedly. "I'm fine, but all I see is the inside of my eyelids." Barry gave him the once over and shook his head. He circled him, looking at him from several angles. "Do you have to do that?"

"Well, it worked with Shampoo…"

Ryoga's eyes snapped open and he looked at Barry suspiciously. Barry was somehow not surprised that Ryoga maintained his inner balance even with his eyes open. "What worked with Shampoo?"

Barry suddenly found himself in a mild case of conflict of interest.

"Nothing you need worry about, Ryoga," he began.

"I'm worrying. I strongly suggest you relieve my fears," Ryoga returned flatly. "If you mess up Ranma and Akane's lives for them…"

Barry felt a chill pass over him. He thought he could take Ryoga, but he'd have to open up a lot more than he liked and could actually injure him. Though he had started out with a serious case of distrust and dislike for the other man, it had become tempered over time to a weird acceptance and understanding. Ryoga was, in an odd way, noble in his acceptance of his loss of Akane and in his continued defense of her. He was beginning to understand why Ranma thought of him as a friend. Ryoga's words, however, gave him an easy out. "Why not ask Akane about it. She knows about this deal with Shampoo, she was there." He shrugged and raised his hands. "But we sorta can't talk about it. Like Ranma couldn't say anything about P-chan."

"Don't think I won't ask," the other man replied, closing his eyes again. "Why are you circling me, though?"

"Tryin' ta work out just what you're doing, and I swear it scares me."

Ryoga's eyes blinked open again. "Now what do you mean by that?"

Barry snickered. "Do you realize you meditate in an entirely different way from anyone else I've come across?" Barry paused a moment, trying to find some way of explaining the phenomenon. "I have to admit though, you're the one person who'd get lost this way."

Ryoga regarded Barry for several seconds and shook his head. "I will be damn glad when this is over. You can be so irritating. Tell me what you mean, right now, or I swear I'm going to forget myself and beat the crap out of you." There wasn't the heat behind his words this time, and it was obvious he was speaking a set formula to 'Ranma'.

"Most people relax their physical bodies," Barry began, "and balance the chemical and hormonal processes with a reasonably healthy diet, exercise, and careful control of their emotions. Then they find their astral levels and slowly open up from there till they are in touch with and utilizing all five known levels of ki: body, humors, astral, mental and spiritual." Barry rubbed his chin, noting absently that he needed to shave. "Understand, I only just learned the terminology, but it seems apt. That's how, uh… I do it, that's how Shampoo and Akane do it, and I'm pretty sure that's how Cologne does it."

Ryoga nodded and waited for the explanation to conclude.

"You, on the other hand, actually turn around and dive back into your humors, emotional and hormonal balances, linking back to them from your astral levels. Start working up a Shishi Houkudan for me. Um… that is, if you don't have to fire it off once you start it."

"I better go outside for this." Ryoga rose to his feet. "Where's Akari?

Barry looked around. The girl was nowhere in the dojo. "I dunno. Look outside for Katsunishiki."

* * *

Outside, the night air was cool and the sumo pig conspicuous by his absence. They circled together (Remember, this is Ryoga, he gets lost in his own house!) but the pair was not around the dojo, or this side of the house.

"_Akari_!" Ryoga's call cut through the night and set neighborhood dogs to barking, but there was no answering hail from the farm girl. They exchanged concerned glances. Barry used the ki-vision to augment his tracking in the dark. Plants trampled by the heavy animal gave off a whispery and garbled ki signature. Finally they found where girl and pig walked off behind the house.

They followed the trail around to the koi pond.

"Where are we, anyway?" Ryoga asked, looking around. He obviously didn't recognize where they were, which didn't really surprise Barry. "It looks like a construction site."

"Well, sorta." Barry now had a good idea what happened. Akari had, for whatever reason, decided to walk the grounds and immediately realized what the 'construction' was. "Oh, hell!"

"What?"

"This is Tendo's garden, Ryoga. That hole used to be Soun's koi pond." He watched Ryoga's face. It showed puzzled concern.

"Why did he do this? It used to look really nice…"

"Ryoga! You are sodense sometimes!" Barry snapped. "Sorry. To clarify, this is Soun's garden and koipond _after_ Katsunishiki used it as a wallow."

Ryoga's face fell. "Katsunishiki did… Akari saw… Oh. No!" Ryoga's hands clenched. "Akari…! She's so sensitive. If she saw this… and now she's gone, wandering lost and alone out there, blaming herself." Barry observed Ryoga's ki paths, clinically, as the angst built up, sheathing Ryoga in greenish luminance. As he suspected, Ryoga fed his ki projection abilities back down through his emotions and began a weird feedback loop that built up power like a capacitor. "It's not fair," Ryoga whispered. "She's so sweet. It's just not…" He trailed off muttering. Barry flinched as he suddenly realized where he was all headed.

"No, Ryoga!" Barry physically grabbed Ryoga by the shoulders but the green luminance of his aura pinged and burned against him. "C'mon, she just probably stepped out to take a walk, for cryin' out loud - Get control of yerself…!" Barry sought desperately for some strategy to handle this. Ryoga's heavy ki would explode like a bomb then crash back down like a pile driver. He had to be stopped. How did Ranma… "Aw, nuts!"

Blanching, he splashed through the wetness in the remains of the pond and leaped back to the Lost Boy. Cringing internally, he glomped Ryoga ala Shampoo and, using as sultry a voice as possible, said, "Ryoga, honey if you break the Tendo's house I'll do something we both will regret."

Ryoga's aura guttered out like a snuffed candle. Eyes met and locked.

"Ewww!" "Yuck!" They were suddenly at opposite sides of the former pond.

"What were you thinking?" Ryoga snapped.

Barry snarled right back, "I was trying to keep you from blowing up the house!"

"What happened to you two? What's going on?" broke in Akane, jogging over from the dojo. "Was that lightshow I saw Ryoga? What's going on? Where's Akari?"

"Akari…"

"Don't you start!" Barry huffed. "Pig boy here was losing control of himself…"

"Why are you a girl?" Akane asked frowning, apparently ignoring what he'd said.

"Well… I…" Barry crimsoned. Damn! How did Ranma pull this kind of thing off?

"He was gonna kiss me or something," accused Ryoga.

"Was not!" Barry shot back. "I was distracting you. And it worked! Hah!"

Akane looked peeved. "Why didn't you push him in the pond? Cursing him would have done as well."

Barry glanced startled at the muddy water. "Didn't think of that…"

* * *

Ranma hobbled out of the bathroom to dress for today's visit to one of the largest museums and libraries in the eastern U.S. He convinced Gwen that, even if she wouldn't let him go to work, he could manage a ride to the library for some research and reading material. A family outing was finally planned, as Brendan wanted to see the dinosaurs and both Brendan's and Barry's birthdays fell over the next week. Gwen still was not happy about it, and eyed him with a look reminiscent of one of Akane's just prior to a boost into the stratosphere.

"I'm driving," she said in a way that brooked no argument. "I'll take Brendan around and leave you to your… whatever it is you're doing."

"Thanks, Gwen," he said with real sincerity.

"I love you," she said, smiling suddenly and darting in for a quick kiss.

"I love you, t—!" He caught himself, but Gwen appeared not to notice. When she left the room, he walked over to a wall and slammed his head against it a few times.

"What are you pounding on?" came her distant voice.

"Nothing, dear," he answered, mentally kicking himself for the 'dear'.

'And I thought Barry was having a rough time trying to deal with my life,' thought Ranma. 'It's not enough that he can't do ki techniques, his body has… _habits_!' He shuddered. Slowly, he pulled out a T-shirt of red cotton, black jeans and tennis shoes. Barry had nothing resembling his silk shirts and apparently nothing similar to his fighting… Hold it! Jogging pants would do. The tennis shoes were old enough to be comfortable without being useless. After dressing, he bounced up and down a few times to judge his balance and conditioning.

He got another shock. Barry, from the response of his calf muscles, didn't know how to jump right, another drawback. He sure wasn't a martial artist! At least, not Ranma's kind. He had a lot of training to do to feel comfortable. He doubted Barry would mind much. Speaking of which…

He sat back down on the made-up bed and began to work toward centering himself. If he just had half an hour, he might be able to get the healing abilities boosted and get rid of some of this cursed stiffness. Of course, he'd have to continue to fake it, or find some other reason to avoid Gwen's amorous advances towards her husband. Slowly he dropped into the floating awareness…

"Watcha doing, Dad?" (BOUNCE!)

Brendan landed on the bed with a thump, almost sending Ranma off the other side on the rebound. Sucking in air in an effort to control the renewed pain, he rose to his feet and smiled tightly at the boy. "I _was_ resting, Brendan." A few breaths and he managed to get his equanimity restored. "I'm hurt, remember?" He slowly sat back down on the bed.

"Where does it hurt?"

Ranma jerked upright quickly to put himself at a safe distance from probing fingers, but apparently Brendan had not been intent on probing for himself. He smiled again. Brendan reminded him more than a little of himself at that age. Tomorrow, the boy would be turning seven. At the same age, Ranma had already experienced the hell of Nekoken.

He reached out and tousled the boy's hair. At least Barry seemed to be trying his best to make a family of the three of them. This was a child who wouldn't have to worry about his father walking out, taking him from his mother to endure a decade of torture in pursuit of martial arts perfection.

Brendan grabbed the interloping arm and began to wrestle. "Hey! Watch it, I'm injured!" Ranma grinned though. 'Did all boys do this?' he wondered.

"Can I watch a tape? Can I, Dad?"

"Uh, which tape would that be?" he answered, hedging.

"_Turtles_!" Brendan bounced on the bed, went airborne and landed running. He was out into the living area in a flash and the sounds of plastic cassettes banging against one another drifted to the displaced martial artist.

'Turtles?' Ranma shook his head. 'Who the hell would want to watch a videotape of turtles? They were slow and, well… they were slow.' He hobbled out to see what was so fascinating about turtles. He wouldn't put it past Barry to have a son interested in National Geographic films, but…

Half an hour later, he was stretched out, wincing, in a recliner with a boy sitting in his lap giving a blow-by-blow description of the action on the TV. The wincing was due mostly to the fact that, in particularly active sections, Brendan's body would jerk in sympathetic response. Ranma found it quite a workout. The concept of… giant talking turtles doing martial arts, eating pizza, and generally having a good time while practicing ninjitsu in an entirely ludicrous manner, was unnerving. Americans must be even crazier than he thought.

"What are you two watching?" Gwen poked her head around the corner from the kitchen and called down to the basement where they were. "Never mind, I can hear it all the way up here. Brendan, are you being good?"

"Yes, Mom!"

"Remember! No playing Turtles in the house!"

"Yes, Mom!"

"Breakfast will be ready in just a few minutes, Barry. Can you make it up the steps all right? Or shall I bring it down?"

"I'll be up, just call when it's ready."

"Do you want any tea this morning?"

Ranma considered briefly. "Yes, but not so much and no sugar, please."

"Okay."

"I wanna watch Turtles," Brendan chimed in suddenly. Ranma looked down at the boy and tried to decide what Barry would say.

"Brendan," came Gwen's voice, "Dinosaurs at the museum, Turtles later."

"Turtles after breakfast, then dinosaurs?" Brendan countered.

"Dinosaurs after breakfast with Turtles after dinosaurs, or no Turtles at all. Take it or leave it."

"Okay," Brendan sighed and hit the pause button he activated when his mother called down. 'Cowabunga!' cheered from the screen.

'Cowabunga?' Ranma shook his head in faint perplexity. 'What kind of battle cry was that?' And what about that negotiating? He wondered if Mrs. Tendo had ever done something similar with Nabiki. It wouldn't surprise him.

Breakfast was bacon, eggs and toast. The good thing was there was a lot of it. The bacon was greasier than Kasumi would have made it, but there were no pickles. The thought of pickles caused a faint gag reflex that Ranma was quick to conceal. He experimented again, with the same response. Apparently (and heretically), Barry didn't like pickles. Without the sugar, the tea was different but acceptable.

Gwen's mother sat in her chair at the end of the table. Terminally ill with kidney failure, too frail and old to be considered for a transplant, she had good days and bad days. Her breakfast was somewhat different from everyone else's due to a restricted diet. Ranma watched her nervously; almost afraid she might expire before his eyes.

Barry's memories were only intermittently accessible to him, but he suddenly had an image of a short and hefty woman, bubbling with energy and life, eyes twinkling with humor and wisdom, making everyone feel comfortable and welcome in her home. Uncomfortable with the image of looming death, his throat tightened as he looked across at her, only to meet, within the sunken folds of skin, the twinkling eyes that showed that even this drawn out agony was not enough to quell the strong, loving spirit within. She smiled faintly at his look and nodded. Her speech was no longer a certain thing these days, but sometimes a look said more than words.

The drive to the library was uneventful. Ranma looked out the window at the wide streets and wooded avenues. The city was pretty and spread pretty far out. Unlike Nerima, he would have a hard time justifying roof-hopping here, except as exercise. The streets were not quite as clean as Tokyo's or in as good repair, but it was evident that the population density was much lower.

The building that housed the library was enormous, covering several city blocks. Built and named for an entrepreneur from the turn of the century, it had the massive opulence Ranma was familiar with from government buildings back home. Gwen left him at the card catalogs and walked off with Brendan to 'see the dinosaurs'. He looked around him with some trepidation. How was he supposed to find what he was looking for in here? He looked around for a librarian.

An older woman behind a desk explained in bored, clipped tones how to use the card catalog. As she did so, Ranma realized Barry already knew and, after a bit of second-hand review, moved back to the stacks. As he sat down gingerly to read some of his selections, he realized he finally had the ideal moment to get that healing technique kicked in. He settled back and centered himself.

An hour later, he sighed in relief. He would probably have to do this periodically, if he were here for any length of time. Barry's body had developed its own balances and resisted the modification. Still, the stiffness was finally leaving and the throbbing pain in the small of his back was much reduced.

The first book he reviewed was total junk. It couched things in mystical and dramatic terms, but it was obvious the author was parroting a version of auras and ki that he modified for his own purposes and without personal experience. The second was similar. The third sounded right, but only went into basics. A check for other books by the author revealed no other titles under his name. A fourth…

It was frustrating. He went through over a dozen books, discovering, in many cases within the first chapter or so, evidence that the author was either misinformed or deliberately disingenuous. All of these works were contemporary, of course. Needing to think, he wandered over to a selection of atlases, remembering how Barry had checked one and claimed he was in a different universe.

But what if he had been wrong…

If Barry had been mistaken, Ranma could call home. He trembled. If he could call home and get hold of Akane and Barry, he'd also have backup to convince Gwen of what had happened. He could be safe…

He found an atlas for Japan and flipped to the page showing Tokyo and its surroundings. He looked in the index for Nerima. It was there. Hurriedly, he flipped to the page and ran his finger down the rows and columns. There it was… or was it?

Nerima Ward was not quite right in appearance. He tried to justify his memory of the ward's layout with the map. He soon determined the truth. It _was_ different. His Nerima was closer to the sea, than the Nerima of this Tokyo, and had more canals. His finger wandered over the street designations. He found the street Furinkan should be on, but it was outside the ward. He traced back looking for the street that the Tendo dojo was on. He found what should be it, but the street name was different by a single symbol. He tried to decide where to go from here.

Barry refused to determine if he had a counterpart in Ranma's universe. He had not wanted to create repercussions that might harm his opposite. Ranma suspected he had not wanted the distraction that the existence of an alternate universe's Gwen would cause him. Of course, she would not have had any useful experience to alleviate the problem, but Ranma's case might be different. If he existed here, maybe he could help _himself _so to speak.

Checking with the librarian, he was directed to another desk to turn a twenty-dollar bill into quarters. Change jingling, he located a pay phone and dialed the Tendo home number. A recorded voice stated the required amount of money for five minutes of time. He deposited and waited for the overseas call to go through. A connection was made, and faintly a woman's voice came on the line. For a brief terrifying moment, he thought he had forgotten how to speak Japanese.

"_Moshi, moshi, Tendo-san no-otaku desu-ka_?"

"_Iie, chigaimasu_."

Hurriedly, he asked to check the number, only to have the phone number confirmed. In this universe at least, it was not assigned to the Tendo's. He called Tokyo area information and requested the number of the Tendo residence in the Nerima district. The operator could not locate the listing.

Remembering that the streets that seemed familiar were not in that district, he suggested a search of nearby wards for Tendo Soun or the School of Mutsabetsu Kakuto. After a long wait, the operator returned to inform him that these persons and businesses could not be located.

"_Domo sumimasen_," Ranma said, sick at heart.

"_Iie, Do itashimashite_."

He hung up. Damn! He hadn't really believed Barry, or at least had thought the man was mistaken in this regard. He turned with the remainder of the change, intending to return to the stacks. His stomach growled and he belatedly realized that it was nearing lunchtime. Normally this was a welcome event, but the butterflies in his stomach warred with his hunger. Then he stopped, truly alarmed by what he saw before him — Gwen, a puzzled look on her face and a quiet, curious Brendan in hand.

"Whom were you talking to, dear?"


	27. Feng Shui

**Guest Ki: Chapter 26**

_**Feng Shui**_

_**Journal: Ranma's Guest — Wednesday, 04 September, 1991 – Day 11**_

_Akane has pushed for and is making incredible strides in ki-techniques. I think it may have something to do with the learning curve. You pushed her so hard at the lake, then the subsequent events have kept her keyed up, looking for some way to help you. She's still working on overdrive. The work you did with her, and the pointers I've given her have set her on the path to ki-vision like we have. If Cologne is correct, we're statistical impossibilities. If my guess is right, we're just the first persons with this gift to honestly try to promote it in others. _

_Before I go any farther, I have to let you know: We were sparringthe othernight and I was too tired. I almost killed Akane. I'm not talking about, 'Ha Ha! I could've killed her!' She got inside a punch and I got her in a headlock as she was getting ready to let me have it. I nearly killed her. I'm sorry. She ended up with a sore neck and finally believes what we'd been telling her, so maybe it was worth it._

_Who the hell am I kidding? It won't happen again, though. She's insisted on learning and finding counters for every dangerous move in your arsenal we come across. She says she accepts the risks involved, and I hope she's right. She's certainly better qualified than I to make this decision._

_To the ki-techniques: Akane can now see her own ki. Apparently, it is partly a matter of self-awareness and orientation. Ice cream (chocolate, by the way) was the key to her ki. A faint, unexpected taste of chocolate ice cream while she was meditating helped her orient what she was experiencing and begin to recognize what went where. _

Barry shook his head considering what had happened next. Reluctantly, he recounted the next evening's series of events. He finished with:

_Akari noticed the koi pond and made herself scarce. Ryoga nearly lit off a whopper of a Shishi Houkudan. Akane saw it with the ki-vision and came running. I spent three hours tracking Akari, and another hour calming her down and talking her out of stupid useless gestures. Katsunishiki may normally be affectionate, but when she's upset, he's dangerous. She's back at Ryoga's house for now, but I think she's going to go home after she helps repair the garden. She suffered a 'loss of face' I think you folks call it. I can understand the embarrassment, but this seems to go further. I hope Akane can explain this to me._

_We will get you back._

* * *

Barry rushed through the morning, running on adrenaline. Soun had not yet noticed the circle of scorched floor or had decided he didn't want to know. He remembered his lunch this time and charged out to visit Nodoka before making sure Akari hadn't changed her mind about helping Ryoga get to school.

Genma lasted ten seconds at the front door and Barry spent fifteen minutes using a wire to hook panda fur out of the bathroom drains. He promised to spend some time the following day to talk to Nodoka and roared out of the house, spending five seconds in a rematch with Genma before taking to the rooftops. He met Ryoga and Akari on the way to school. Akari refused to meet his eyes. Katsunishiki was moody but finally, after a few minutes of steady scratching and sneaking him some tidbits, he became more relaxed. Akari, responding to her charge, also relaxed and brightened up slightly. Ryoga, who looked like he'd enjoy another depression blast, gave Barry a thankful glance.

Akane met them at the school gates. She pulled the suddenly downcast Akari aside and talked to her intensely and quietly, waving them on when the late bell rang. Ryoga and Barry continued on in, directing curious looks at several young men who seemed to be suffering from severe 'wedgies'. The sleeves of their shirts were tied together in front of them and the waistbands of their underwear were caught on their foreheads. Apparently, Shampoo had taken the concept of "painful and embarrassing" to heart. They hurried off to class, sliding into their seats with plenty of time to spare.

Barry glanced back at Shampoo who bore an entirely too-too innocent look on her face. Catching her eye, he gave her a thumbs-up and turned his focus front and center as light footsteps approached.

"Mr. Saotome, where is Miss Tendo?" Miss Hinako stood beside Ranma's desk and glared at him.

Barry sighed and tried to think of an excuse. Coming up dry, he tried the truth. "She stopped to talk to a friend of ours who is feeling very depressed today. Girl-girl talk, I guess." A loud thump interrupted his explanation. Tatewaki Kuno looked like a bug on a windshield against the plate glass of the third floor window. As he slid out of sight, Barry turned back to the ki-vampire more brightly. "Of course, it's possible that she was further delayed by a certain pervert we both know."

Hinako nodded with a faintly amused look on her face and moments later Akane made her entrance. She marched up to Miss Hinako, bowed in apology and began to stammer an excuse. She stopped, shocked, when Miss Hinako waved her silent and turned to the class. "Class, Miss Tendo was late. Based on what we saw a moment ago, do you feel she has sufficient cause to be late?"

"_Yes_!"

"Take your seat, Akane."

Akane started at the enthusiasm of the response even from Shampoo and Kodachi. She bowed, looked embarrassed and took her seat. Melville's account took it from there.

* * *

Lunchtime came and Akari made another appearance to bring Ryoga a meal. Before she could leave, however, Mrs. Morisato intercepted her. Her smile and manner was disarming to both human and beast. She soon had Akari involved in an earnest conversation, which Ryoga joined occasionally. At times, Akari seemed quite upset, but the new 'nice-nice teacher' always seemed to defuse the problem in the discussion. Suddenly, she hugged the older woman and broke into tears.

Barry again wondered where Principle Kuno had found the discretion, common sense and inspiration to hire this woman. Considering the Pineapple Fruitcake's normal state of mind, he must have been crazy! Barry, meanwhile, was overseeing the girls and their perpetual quest to impress Ranma's stomach.

His bento came from Kasumi today and was obviously safe. Shampoo, based on his ki-vision, seemed to have behaved for a change, as well. Kodachi... Though he couldn't sense anything wrong, she may have worked out a way to combine substances that wouldn't be detectable, unless they were all mixed together. He really didn't want to look too closely at her motives when she was giving the appearance, at least, of good behavior. He decided to try dilution as a solution to the problem.

"How about a picnic?" he suggested. The others looked at him. "If we each share some of what we've got, we'll have a feast. Interested?"

Kodachi looked wistful. "Did Kasumi prepare the food this time?"

"Yes," grated Akane. She did not take the obvious slight about her cooking with good grace.

Kodachi laughed at her glower, though not her horrible grating cackle. "Tendo, it's amazing that the two of you are sisters. Kasumi's food is divine!" She nodded to Ranma graciously. "Truce. I accept. Kasumi is a veritable goddess of the kitchen."

"Okay by Shampoo! Just glad nice-sister not in restaurant business."

"I'm going to see if Ukyo would like ta pitch in too, okay?"

Having gone so far as to concede to the picnic concept to begin with, they were not antagonistic to the other girl's inclusion. It was possible that her recent distance from Ranma also helped and they no longer perceived her as a rival.

"Hey, Ucchan."

"Hey, Ranchan. They tryin' to poison you again?"

"Nah! Behaving themselves for a change. I've pretty much checked everything out and decided to declare a picnic. Want in?"

"Might be a nice change. Don't mind if I do." She flipped a 'yaki and considered. "You sure I'm not gonna get poisoned?"

"I think I can guarantee it." He tapped his forehead and smiled.

* * *

Finally, the weekend came. The ornamental garden and koi pond at the Tendo residence was about to receive a complete makeover. The work began early Saturday and as dawn lit the yard, a voice called out of the shadows, "We're he-ere!"

Soon teenagers were clustered about the former koi pond, debating the opening moves they would make. Akane wanted a bigger pond, maybe with an ornamental bridge. Ryoga wanted a smaller pond or one with strategically placed rocks to create a more pleasing appearance. Akari remained silent. Katsunishiki had been left at the Unryu farm to avoid any problems with Soun.

Barry ignored them for now. He had several photographs taken over the years, of the garden and it's plantings. He was drawing now, and occasionally walking over and measuring the placement of the heavier rocks and structures. Trained as an artist and an engineer, he was principally concerned with determining if the garden could be restored to its original condition.

Sheets of paper littered the table, held down by cups of tea and plates of half-eaten food. Kasumi examined some of the drawings with an interest that made Barry very nervous, but he could think of no reason to prevent her from doing so. At this point, they were really waiting for the appearance of Soun Tendo. He would have the final say about whatever they did. Soun was praying at the house shrine, understandable considering the reverence with which he viewed this garden.

Barry finally had what he felt was a satisfactory set of drawings, when he felt the presence of the Tendo patriarch. He came out onto the veranda with the air of a general preparing for war. Silently Barry handed him the drawings and watched Soun look them over without a hint of suspicion about how Ranma acquired the skill to create them.

"Huh! This will make a good beginning." Barry thought privately that his _Shogun_ act was ridiculous. Soun sat down, accepting a cup of tea from Kasumi with a nod. "Yes. Attention everyone!"

The others subsided and turned to face him.

"I believe we should start by leveling and smoothing the grounds," he said confidently. "Once that is done, we can determine how best to adjust the pattern of the rocks. The pond will be last, as it will need to reflect the surroundings in a peaceful and contemplative manner."

"Very good, Father," Kasumi complimented him. "You remembered mother's methods most accurately." Soun winced and face-faulted, only regaining his air of authority with difficulty. "Would you like a cake?" she added.

"Ummm," he eyed the cakes and gave in, "Yes, please." The others quickly returned to their wrangling.

Barry sighed. They were all well intentioned, but now that authority had left the building, so to speak, he feared nothing would be accomplished. He was willing to set things right. It was unfair for Soun to endure the loss of his garden. But he was unwilling to lose to useless brangling the time and resources needed to restore Ranma and himself. A glance at Akane warned him that she was reaching her limits as well. They needed some authority that could unite them all and guide them toward their goal. Ranma might have done it, with numerous false starts. He had doubts that he could, but it looked as though he was going to have to try.

He had just opened his mouth to bellow for attention, when a soft voice called out from the gate. "Hello?" The tones caught everyone's attention. Heads turned. A face peeked in at the gate.

"Mrs. Morisato?" Barry inquired instead.

"May we come in?" she asked, her bright smile lighting up the compound.

Soun, surprised and perhaps entranced by the face, nodded numbly. Barry doubted he would have been so permissive had he known who else was coming.

A short, fit man and a dark-haired girl about Akane's age followed Mrs. Morisato but, to Soun's horror, Miss Hinako was also there, bringing up the rear. She waved merrily to him as he sagged, his morning instantly shot to hell.

"I was speaking with Akari the other day," Mrs. Morisato was saying, "and thought I could offer some help. Besides, Miya wanted me to meet the family of her star pupil." She smiled at Akane, who did a 'who, me?' with some credibility.

Kasumi smiled and stepped forward bowing politely to Mrs. Morisato in particular. Barry felt very strange as these two women met. For a moment, Kasumi and the teacher seemed more like sisters than Kasumi and Akane. Subtly there was a shift, something he couldn't quite put his finger on, then Kasumi stepped back, clearly deferring to her guest. Mrs. Morisato smiled gently and introduced the short man as her husband, Keiichi. Barry looked with interest at the man who had earned this woman's respect and love, and re-evaluated him upward. He might be physically unimposing, but it had to be a special man to win Mrs. Morisato. Meanwhile, the dark-haired girl stepped over to Akane and introduced herself.

"Ohayogozaimasu! I'm Sakurida, Baradandya's sister."

"Baradandya?" Akane was taken aback. Sakurida as a name was not too odd but who was... "Oh! You mean Mrs. Morisato?"

"We're not too peculiar, are we?" Sakurida asked mournfully. "I mean we are gaijin, but..."

"Oh, no, that's not important at all!" Akane protested. "I just never heard your sister's given name before." She took the other girl's hands in her own and smiled. "Please, be welcome."

Barry walked over. He didn't mind the visit, but they'd never get this pond done at this rate, and he didn't think the koi would do well in the hipbath for another week. He smiled and nodded greeting to Sakurida and raised an eyebrow towards Akane. "Are we gonna do this, or what?"

"Ranma, don't be rude!" Akane snapped.

"Hey, I'm just pointin' out the time factor, tomboy," he said bluntly. Akane shook her head angrily and then nodded, her sense of propriety and hospitality at war with the need to get this out of the way and find Ranma.

Sakurida grinned and put her two bits in. "We are really here to help!"

"Huh?" They gawked at the girl.

"Bara spoke with Akari yesterday and learned of the problem." She grinned mischievously. "She's good about things like that." She jerked a finger at herself. "As for me? I'm just about the best engineering student that's ever come out of Nekomi Tech."

Barry gave her a thorough look-over that brought an irritated blush to her cheeks, turned and looked at Ms. Hinako and Mr. and Mrs. Morisato. "Ain't none of ya look like yer dressed or suited for manual labor," he observed. "And we've got too many cooks in the kitchen as it is."

"Are you saying we should butt out?" Sakurida said bluntly.

Barry shook his head. "Nah. I appreciate the offer of help and I really like yer sister. Yer blessed to have someone so special, so close to ya." Sakurida smiled suddenly, completely reversing the sullen, angry expression in a heartbeat. "It's just that we have so much we have to get done and things keep gettin' in the way. We have to get the koi pond and garden done today. The work Akane and I need to do, as well as the homework we have to make up, is too important." He watched Sakurida's eyes and decided that in her own way she had qualities similar to her sister. "Oh! And I am absolutely _not_ looking for another fiancée. I got too many as it is." The expression on the girl's face turned quizzical, not understanding his point. "I gather yer sister hasn't said anything about me?"

"Not really." Sakurida frowned and glanced toward where her sister and brother-in-law talked to Kasumi. Miss Hinako had seated herself near Soun and looked as if he were a particularly sweet lollipop. Soun edged away while attempting to look as if he were merely getting more comfortable. "Is there something we should know?"

Barry sighed. "Might as well get it over with."

He walked into the house and came out with the teakettle and a pitcher of water. Whistling shrilly, he gained everyone's attention. He absently noted Kasumi's frown of concern as well as Ryoga's resigned look. In a surprising show of solidarity, the lost-boy joined him beside the activators of their Jusenkyo curses.

"I just wanna make sure everyone is up to speed on the situation here," he began. "Ryoga and I are cursed to change forms when splashed with cold water. Since we're dealin' with plants and a pond, I figure it's gotta happen sometime. I turn into a girl and Ryoga turns into a pig like Akane's P-chan." He picked up the pitcher of water and poured it over his head. The transformation was rapid.

When Ryoga reached for the water, Barry tossed the rest in the grass and grinned at him. "I don't see why you have to put on a show, Ryoga. If I'm not proof enough..."

"That was so cool!" Barry jerked, as Sakurida was suddenly nose-to-nose with her. "Jusenkyo, right? I've never seen one before. You're both affected? You know, the Jusenkyo phenomena is not precisely a curse."

"Saki," Mr. Morisato laughed and placed a hand on her shoulder, "they're not science experiments."

"Awww, Kei!" She looked mournful again.

"Come on, take a look at these drawings Ranma made before we came." The girl nodded regretfully and wandered over to her sister. Akane followed, as did Barry, after transforming back to male again.

"The way I see it, the main boulders haven't moved at all," he said to Akane's back. "All we have to do is get them repositioned by measurement to recreate the consistent..."

"Consistency isn't everything," Akane interjected automatically. "Predictability..."

"Has its place, Akane," Mrs. Morisato finished for her. "Predictability is not perhaps the best word under the circumstances. But the methodical, proven method allows you the ability to break away when a better path or method becomes apparent."

"Don't fix it if it ain't broke, and look before you leap?" Barry interpreted.

"Something like that." the teacher agreed.

"But something new could be so much better!" complained Akane. Sakurida was nodding enthusiastically. It wasn't entirely clear whom she was agreeing with. She wasn't looking at Akane, Barry or her sister, but was pouring over the drawings on the table, making minute notations.

"Akane!" Soun injected with a worried frown on his face. Miss Hinako had, during the discussion, managed to close the gap between them. "Your mother arranged the setting of many of those stones."

"Mr. Tendo?" Mr. Morisato injected. "I'm sure they'll do all right. I mean, your daughters carry their mother as a part of them, don't they?"

Soun looked at him for a long silent moment, then burst into tears. "My poor garden!"

"Dad!" Akane was incensed.

Barry looked at Mr. Morisato and Ryoga and shrugged. He walked over to where Sakurida was pouring over a drawing and took hold of an edge. He froze when she growled at him. "I'm using this!"

"Well, I drew it to begin with! I'm just getting some of the measurements I jotted." He looked more closely at the symbology she was adding. "What is that?"

She looked defensive. "It's just standard blueprint..."

"Excuse me, but the hell it is!" Barry twitched the drawing out of her hand as she gasped. He looked it over, critically observing her changes and looking up at the garden. He didn't see the glower and the rising shoulders. He didn't notice the faint glow that began to play at the ends of her hair. "Huh! I don't understand the terminology at all, but it feels right." He turned back to the angry girl and pointed to position changes on three boulders, in particular a rotational change on a rock that probably weighed two or three tons. "Nice drafting hand. Why the changes though? It looks very good, but ya really should check with Soun before ya go and switch things around. It's his garden after all."

The glow disappeared. She blinked, even as the 'discussion' between Akane and Soun was escalating. "This notation has gotta be you personal shorthand, huh?" Barry went on. "That is so cool!I can almost put a name toemotions and thedegrees of light and shadow yet you express it in a simple squiggle! Really elegant." He grinned suddenly and leaped over to Soun. "Hey, Father Tendo, take a look at this."

Sakurida stood there gaping, a blush spreading across her cheeks. Her sister slid up beside her and touched her shoulder. "Sister, he really doesn't need another fiancée."

The dark-haired girl shook herself and sighed. Smiling she turned and wrinkled her nose. "I know. It's just nice to be treated like an intelligent person for a change. Even if he is rude." She looked at Barry's back and pursed her lips. "I wonder what oneechan would think of..."

Baradandya Morisato giggled but looked pained. "Let's hope she's too busy to want to put her finger in this pie."

Barry and Akane stood together with Soun, examining the altered drawings. Both excitedly pointed to marks here and there on the diagrams. Soun suddenly pointed to one mark and raised his voice in acrimony. "Why is that stone marked out? It's a wonderful stone. I carried it here myself."

"It doesn't belong," Sakurida broke in. "It feels like it should be somewhere else."

Soun jerked and peered at her uneasily. All of the teenagers picked up on his guilty expression. There was a moment of reflection.

"Father, you didn't…" Kasumi's voice was reproachful.

Soun hung his head. "It was back when Genma and I were traveling with the Master," he groaned. "He... I..." Soun groaned in frustration.

"We will talk about this later," Kasumi said almost frostily.

"Perhaps you could return the stone," suggested Baradandya. "I'm sure, that with such a special stone and such unusual circumstances, you could return it to its proper place."

Soun walked over to the stone and hefted it. It was a darker stone than the others and weighed about forty kilograms. "I suppose I could put it in a pack and go on a training journey. I haven't done that in a while." Then his face fell. "It's been so long since I cooked for myself..."

"Certainly, I can go with you, father," Kasumi said. "After all, Akane is getting much better with her cooking, so perhaps we should see how she handles a few days of bridal training."

Akane choked and looked skittishly at Barry. He was obviously clueless. Silently she cursed to herself. 'Of course, we'd be left alone when it really isn't us!' The thought brought a blush to her cheeks. If Ranma had been here, there might have been all sorts of opportunities...

Kasumi and Soun only caught the blush and took it for anticipation rather than the regretful longing that it was. Kasumi sighed pensively. They had to grow up sometime and Ranma was showing a bit more responsibility. She didn't approve of sex before marriage, but acknowledged it sometimes happened. Perhaps she would warn Ranma discretely before she left.

It would be nice to get out of the house for a while. It would be a vacation, provided Soun didn't get angry crowds chasing them in Happosai's example. She nodded approvingly as Soun placed the rock on the porch and returned to where Ranma and Akane debated the positioning of boulders with Sakurida. The discussion was more animated and much more polite.

Ryoga's strength was very necessary for repositioning the largest boulder. The plan was to leave it in place but give it a half-turn clockwise. As expected, it did not get done without complications. As the two men stood and strained while standing on the crusty bottom of the old pond, a dark stain spread across the parched-looking impression.

The pond had been drained, yes. It was not moisture-free, however. As Ryoga's hundred kilos and Ranma's eighty-two kilos bore down on a heavy, limber pole, that moisture pooled and puddled unnoticed about their feet. Cold water soaked through their shoes. Suddenly, the pole was being bent not by two young men, but by the forty-eight kilos of girl-type Ranma. A little black pig scrabbled as it fell into the now billowing clothes. The pole snapped straight.

"_Ahhh_!" Barry was launched. It wasn't far, but was unexpected. "Look out, Akari!"

"What?" Akari froze, startled. "Oof!"

Ryoga, scrabbling out of the giant divot, saw Barry straddling Akari, apparently pinning her to the ground. That Barry was in girl-type didn't matter. Ryoga lunged and bit.

"Are ya all ri-_iiiee_!" Barry finished with a high-pitched scream. "Dammit, Ryoga!" The latter dropped off and let loose with a series of vitriolic squeals and trotter shaking that needed little translation.

"Ranma wasn't getting fresh, Ryoga," Akari broke in weakly. "I was simply in the way."

"If we didn't have this other project, pork rind, I'd run tests on ya ta see if the curse didn't affect yer brain. Where do ya get the idea I'm gonna molest Akari? Jeez!" Barry reached down to pick him up, just missing a snap of toothy little jaws. Barry drew back and commented sarcastically, "Oh? Ya wanna get changed and dressed out here in fronta everyone?"

Ryoga-pig visibly blushed and shook his head. Akane retrieved Ryoga's clothes from the pond and handed them to Barry, and the two departed for the bathroom where Ryoga could change, both ways, in peace. The newcomers stared after them in shock.

"That was interesting," commented Mr. Morisato.

Sakurida slipped over to Akane. "You don't think I could talk him into letting me investigate how the curse works on him, do you?"

Akane looked at her suspiciously. "Are you sure you're not trying to be another fiancée?" Sakurida looked as innocent as she could. "Trust me, he really can't afford another one. Health reasons."

Sakurida looked into Akane's eyes and gulped. "Promise, cross my heart?" Akane relaxed. Sakurida seemed sincere.

"You'd have to ask him. He's pretty sensitive about it, though it's not as bad as it used to be." Even as she spoke, she became pensive again. She really wished Ranma were here for Sakurida to ask. Still, Barry would probably be able to field her questions if he had to. She looked up to see him returning, toweling his hair.

"Ryoga'll be a while. He has to wring his clothes out." He wandered over to the edge of the pool and looked down at the damp puddle. "Hey, Kasumi, d' we have galoshes or rubber boots for this?"

"I'll check, Ranma." She hurried off.

Mr. Morisato stripped off his shirt and wandered over, swinging his arms to loosen muscles. Barry nodded thoughtfully. He was in much better shape than Barry expected. He might be an asset after all. "Maybe with a longer lever arm the two of us could shift it, Ranma."

Barry shrugged. "I wish I could oblige, Mr. Morisato. 'Give me a long enough lever and a point to rest it on and I could move the world' and all. I have a point, but a longer lever would have to be way thicker because of the flexibility."

"Good point," came the reply. "Call me Keiichi, by the way. Otherwise, I feel like I should look around for my father." He grinned cheerfully. "Maybe we can rig a block and tackle?"

"Wouldn't the rope slip off ?" Barryasked. "The rock is conical, how would you secure it?"

"Make some wedges. After the rope's tight, pound them in around the sides." Keiichi slid his hands together at right angles. "Maybe tighten the rope further with an iron bar."

"Set it up like a come-along?" Barry nodded thoughtfully. "The torsion might weaken the rope. Let's try it with the wedges. We can get extreme later. I think we have a block and tackle in the tool shed. I don't know what its lift ratio is."

They turned to the others and stopped. Kasumi had returned with several sets of boots. Ryoga had returned with her, wearing reasonably dry clothes. Mrs. Morisato, Kasumi, Akane, Ryoga and Akari were staring at them as if they were speaking a foreign language. Sakurida looked thoughtful. Barry shook his head and wandered over to the tool shed to hunt for the block and tackle.

Ryoga sat down and looked over the selection of boots Kasumi had provided. Keiichi sat down beside him and sought for a pair of his own.

"You getting in on the fun, too, Mr. Morisato?"

"Call me Keiichi, please. Yeah, might as well. If we have a water problem, I'll take care of it." He found a pair of boots and pulled them on. "I may not be a martial artist, but I hope I'm good for something."

"I'm sure you'll do fine, Mr. Mor… Keiichi," Ryoga corrected himself. "We're martial artists. What do you do to keep you busy?"

"I work as an engine designer for…" he named a well-known automotive manufacturer, "They call me an Experimental Propulsion Design Consultant. Go figure." He laughed and gazed over at his wife, whose answering smile was brilliant. "I also tutor a few college students in engineering."

"Wow." Ryoga blinked and held up his hand as if protecting it from the glare. "I think I'm blinded." He smiled back at the little man who chuckled and rubbed the back of his head in an embarrassed manner. "I'd say you're a lucky man."

"You have no idea, Ryoga."

"Hey, I found it!" Barry trotted back over, a set of heavy wooden blocks swinging by a thumb-thick rope. "I guess we can get started now."

The work progressed apace. The block and tackle worked, with Keiichi, Akane and Akari heaving on the rope and Ryoga and Barry, protected by boots, wedging the boulder around. The smaller boulders quickly followed under the supervision of Sakurida and Soun. After the last stone was turned and positioned, Kasumi and Baradandya called them to lunch.

Afterward, Keiichi, Akane, Akari and a quickly 'girl-ed' Barry worked to reshape the pond. Sakurida danced around the edges, making suggestions and taking notes. It wasn't long before the pond was satisfactory, and the grading and replanting was begun. By dinnertime, they were finished and the carefully raked earth around the pond was seeded and covered with straw to protect it. With luck, the grass would 'take' well enough to last the winter months ahead.

* * *

Akane poked her head into the kitchen. Both Kasumi and Mrs. Morisato were preparing dinner. She saw something that struck her with a sense of _déjà vu_. The two swayed and danced about the confines of the room to an unheard rhythm and tune. Akane remembered such a dance from her past, when Kasumi and their mother worked to prepare a meal for the family. She turned and almost bumped into Sakurida who leaned over past her and shook her head.

"It's almost eerie." She shook her head again and smiled at Akane. "It must be great to have Kasumi for your sister." She pulled her aside and whispered to her conspiratorially. "You're real lucky to have such a fiancée, too!"

Akane sighed pensively. "I guess..."

The other girl tilted her head. "What's wrong, Akane? Does this have something to do with the multiple fiancée thing I've heard about?"

"Not really, though that's bad enough. I can't talk about it."

"Is it because you don't know me well enough?" Sakurida had a tight, but not hostile, look on her face that Akane had trouble interpreting.

"Sakurida, I haven't even talked to my own sisters about it." She sighed. "I think… I hope Ranma loves me. I believe that Ranma let the engagements go on till now, so that he could find some honorable solution..."

"Excuse me! But how honorable is it to get involved with more than one girl to begin with?"

Akane almost laughed at her. Sakurida's tone could have been her own as recently as a few months ago. She gave a quick and honest synopsis of the past two years, portraying her own actions with a bluntness that caught her by surprise. Sakurida nodded from time to time as she listened, occasionally prompting for more detail. Kasumi called them to dinner as she finished.

Soun was in heaven, Miss Hinako not withstanding. Kasumi's meals were good by anyone's standards, but with the Morisato woman assisting, they had reached new levels of excellence. His garden was miraculously restored, and he had hopes of reintroducing his koi to the pond on Sunday. The fact that he had somehow to get that one rock back up Mt. Fuji was a minor detail. Besides, Kasumi had said she would go along. To tell the truth he had been feeling vaguely guilty about that stone for years.

He made polite conversation with Miss Hinako, unintentionally further endearing himself in her eyes. Beyond Hinako, Mrs. Morisato's sister leaned across the table and made polite, sparkling conversation with Ranma and Akane. Across from Soun, the Morisatos spent as much time gazing into each other's eyes as they did proposing or answering conversation directed at them. Soun didn't care and, in fact, was greatly encouraged by this. His eyes flickered occasionally to Ranma who watched the two with an amused, almost benevolent expression and occasionally teased them about their awareness of one another. Akane looked pensive, but then she often did. And come Monday, Ranma and Akane would be alone in the house for most of the week.

He chuckled. All sorts of possibilities could arise. He frowned. He better find some way to keep Genma away or he might spoil everything. Perhaps he could convince him to come along. He had helped steal the thing after all.

After dinner, their guests prepared to leave. Barry's eyebrows rose when he saw the heavy motorcycle and sidecar parked out front. Keiichi Morisato grinned and strapped on his helmet. Sakurida followed suit. They suddenly realized that Baradandya was not outside yet.

"I'll get her for you, Kei," Barry said and flashed into the house. He checked the kitchen thinking she might just do an extra lick to polish things up. Kasumi would have. Then felt something outside the main room, toward the garden. He couldn't quite hear anything, but the only way he could describe it was singing. He stepped through the shoji.

Baradandya Morisato stepped lightly and surely about the garden, her bare feet as light as feathers on the raked earth. As he watched, the song came more clearly, yet still untranslatable. She moved in a pattern that brought her back before the door as she pirouetted. She winked at Barry and smiled as she finished and then faced the garden and bowed solemnly. Pivoting smoothly, she smiled and tilted her head to one side. "Some problems need help that only a fresh viewpoint and new skills can provide. I think it will be a beautiful garden, don't you?" Then she flowed past him, into the house to retrieve her shoes, before moving on to the gate. After a shocked second, he followed. 'What did she mean by that remark?'

"Hey, um... Mrs. Morisato. Uh..." She turned as she accepted her helmet from her husband.

"Yes?"

"Uh, how... how did you all fit on the motorcycle?" he finished lamely.

"Oh, I walked, Ranma," Miss Hinako chirped, cutting in. "I wouldn't mind being escorted home by a tall, strong martial artist, though," she added, looking meaningfully at Soun, who paled and licked suddenly dry lips.

Barry looked at Soun and at Hinako's increasingly hurt gaze and dodged in. "Miss Hinako, if ya don't mind, I'll walk ya home. I need some more work on my English, so maybe you can help?" He could tell that they were both relieved by the intervention.

"Thank you, Ranma. If you don't mind, Akane?" Akane shook her head and Hinako took his arm.

Keiichi pumped the starter and the motorcycle's engine purred into deep-throated life. They waved and the vehicle swung smoothly out into the street and accelerated away.

"Mrs. Morisato is a lucky woman, don't you think?" Hinako asked quietly as Barry escorted her away. Barry shrugged.

"I suppose it's the viewpoint. I would have said Kei's a lucky guy." Barry reflected. "Miss Hinako, how in hell did Principal Kuno find the sanity to hire her?"

"You mean as opposed to me?" She asked tightly.

"I know why he hired you," Barry retorted. "It worked for a while, too." They sighed in unison, acknowledging past errors. They walked a few blocks in silence. Barry decided to pop in a question he didn't think she'd normally answer. "Did Happosai really have to teach you your ki trick when you were a little kid?"

She nodded absently. "I would have died. It saved my life, but I have to recharge periodically or the condition returns. I sometimes wonder why I bother." She sniffled, the emotionality of her little-girl phase affecting her.

"Whoa! Stop right there!" Barry said sternly. "If you're gonna go on like that, let's go find Mrs. Morisato and have her talk some sense inta ya." He snorted, deliberately not looking at her. ""A good English teacher you are,"" Barry said in that language, deliberately mangling it. ""Better than you think,"" he added more colloquially. "It could be worse. Take Ryoga for example. Anytime he hits cold water or vice versa, he's a walking barbecue banquet. Same with Mousse, Shampoo's friend from China, he turns into a duck."

She snorted and walked on forcing him to follow. "I aged normally till I was ten and then seemed to freeze. For a while, people thought I was only late developing. The doctors didn't know about Happosai, and wouldn't have understood anyway. I only had to drain ki about six or seven times a year, and I learned to do that at night to family members asleep in their beds."

'Ouch!' thought Barry. The vampire tag was a little too apt. He was sure, as well, things being what they were, that Hinako knew what they called her behind her back.

"Then in high school, some boys got nasty and I used the Happo-go-en-satsu on them. For twenty minutes, no one could figure out where the pretty girl came from, or why those boys were so weak." She sighed. "I had always been the wall-flower, the weird little girl from Room 203. I had never thought of myself as anything else. I found I liked the attention, needed it. I began to use the ki-drain more often, to go on dates." She laughed bitterly. "I was a fifteen-minute Cinderella, always vanishing before they found out my secret identity. Imagine if your Jusenkyo curse required you to find hot water every twenty minutes. When my parents finally found out what was going on, they disowned me."

"That wasn't fair!"

"Life isn't fair, Mr. Saotome, and lies will break any relationship," she said, tossing her hair back. "I was lying to them." She shook her finger under his nose. "Remember that about Akane...

"Fortunately, I had qualified for scholarships and managed to make money on the side, modeling children's clothing."

"How did you make it through college?" he asked puzzled.

"I went in disguise," she answered cryptically. When he looked disbelieving she added, "I passed myself off as a midget, Ranma. A little padding and makeup does wonders on occasion. Turn here." They went down a narrow side street. Barry boggled then snapped his jaw shut.

"Yeah... uh... I guess that would work." He watched her, her bouncy cheerfulness strangely missing. "You've had a hard life, Miss Hinako, but look at it this way. Yer comin' up in the world."

"How do you imagine that?"

"Ya got Mrs. Morisato as a colleague and, I think, a friend. Akane an' I both like ya; we're not peers, I know, but it's somethin'..."

"I wish Soun liked me."

Barry nodded. "I don't think he dislikes ya, Miss Hinako, but understand, Father Tendo and his dead wife had a relationship not too different from the Morisato's. He loves her still and it's been… What? — Seven, maybe eight, years? I don't know if that wound will ever heal."

"And it doesn't help that he sees anything physical between us as child molestation. Yes, Soun is a good man." She sighed. "I wish I could be normal..."

"What about that tsubo thing? I mean it's pretty embarrassin' but in a month or so your powers would be locked away..."

"And I'd be dead six months after that." She smiled at his shocked look. "I didn't think Happi would mention that eventuality." Her focus snapped to one side. Barry turned and looked, half expecting some enemy. Ki-vision had already snapped to the alert but found nothing. The only possible cover was the vending machines. Oh...

"You need a recharge?" he asked. She nod-nodded and fished into her purse. "My treat, tonight," he insisted. "Watcha want?"

"That's very nice of you, Mr. Saotome! You wouldn't be trying to butter me up for school would you?" she added eyes wide and guileless.

"Arrgh!" Barry exclaimed clutching his chest and staggering. "I'm found out!"

"A caffeine-free soda, please." She said, ignoring his mock dismay. "Oh, and that candy bar, there! ...And the jelly roll..."


	28. Food for Thought

**Guest Ki: Chapter 27**

_**Food for Thought**_

"Gwen..."

Barry muttered and rolled over in his sleep. In his dream state, he looked into Gwen's eyes from a distance of mere inches, yet somehow, when he reached for her, she was just beyond his grasp. She looked worried, maybe even frightened, and when she spoke he couldn't make out her words. "Gwen, wait! I'll find some way." He reached again, only to have her straining fingers brush past the tips of his. He slammed his fists down in frustration on the hard surface on which he seemed to be laying and a dull booming sound came back like the beat of a huge drum. "_Gwen_!"

Akane Tendo jerked awake at what seemed like a roll of thunder. While the sparring helped, she still slept poorly and intermittently, sometimes awaking at the slightest noise, to stare for hours at the dark ceiling of her room. "Oh, Ranma," she sighed. It didn't help that someone was walking around wearing his face and acting, at least superficially, like him. She longed to see his face and know that _his _spiritdanced behind those eyes.

After helping her father deposit the koi back in the pond, she and Barry had raced over to Ryoga's to check out the latest accounts of ki and spiritual projection. Akari had greeted them with the news that she had to return for a week or so to the Unryu farm. This meant a double trip, to the farm to escort Akari home to pick up Katsunishiki. Back to escort Ryoga home, then Akari would return again with Katsunishiki as her guardian. It also meant that Akane would have to be Ryoga's escort this week to the shrines and that Shampoo would have 'quality time' with Barry, whom the Amazon thought was Ranma.

She heard that dull, booming sound again. Felt it, too. She turned her gaze to the window but the clear night sky showed only a few stars in the distant glare of Tokyo's lights.

On top of that, she didn't entirely trust Ryoga yet. With Ranma gone, it was possible that he might think he could try for a relationship again. She knew she could trust him not to hurt her, even provided he was able now, but she didn't trust him not to hurt himself or Akari, by pursuing a relationship that had never existed. She thought about the latest information Ryoga had found on astral projection.

It was an account of a seer who had used her skills to spy upon the preparations of Kubla Khan in the great invasion attempt centuries before. One item that had been stressed had brought dryness to all their throats. 'Before the rising sun, the priestess was forced to return, least the silver thread of life become frayed or broken. When she said she could not attempt to stride the outer planes for many days, the Emperor himself demanded an explanation. He was told that a dead spy did not see anything and that more than a few hours of such wandering inevitably separated body and spirit forever.'

After staring at one another for five or ten minutes in stunned, frightened silence, Barry licked his lips and postulated that this account might not apply, as he felt more than just the astral body seemed to be projected. Ryoga countered derisively that that fact might seal Ranma's fate more certainly. They had nearly come to blows, before Akane pointed out that there was nothing they could have done when it happened, even had they known how.

Akari sat off to one side looking puzzled. They had never bothered to explain to her what was going on, and they talked around the subject well enough to avoid letting her in on the secret. For her part, she was not curious about their efforts. She had a very traditional viewpoint about their research; it was something that Ryoga wanted or needed to do, but was not within her area of interest. Therefore, she busied herself cleaning house and serving them drinks or snacks when they wanted them, but otherwise stayed out of the way. Akane almost envied her ignorance.

The dull, booming sound shook the house again, waking P-chan II who moved to the door and snuffled uneasily. Reluctantly, she swung out of bed and slid her feet into slippers. Maybe she could let him out and see where the noise was coming from. She stepped into the hall, and after listening for a moment, walked downstairs with the pig.

The night was clear. That was odd. She heard the booming sound again and realized it originated from inside the house. Faintly she heard a strangled yell. Leaving P-chan to his own devices, she raced back into the house and up the stairs, taking them three and four at a time. As she passed, she heard stirring in Kasumi's room and knew her big sister was becoming aware of the noise. The dull booming came from the guestroom. She raced over and snatched open the door.

Barry lay on his back, covered from waist to ankles by the blanket. Even as she entered, his arms strained upwards for long seconds, stretching till his back arched off the ground. Then they fell back heavily against the wooden floor on each side of his futon with the booming sound she had heard before. She heard him moan his wife's name in his sleep. Akane winced as Kasumi's voice sounded out in the hall. That last _boom_ had been with the door open. The other members of the household were stirring. Better wake up Barry, before he had to explain who or what 'Gwen' was and why he was talking in his sleep. She knelt beside him leaned forward and whispered in his ear. "Barry!"

He moaned, almost yelling "_Gwen_!" His arms started to clear the floor again.

"Barry!" she said, shaking him now, "Wake up! You're having a bad… _Eeep_!"

The arms closed on her like a vise as he muttered his wife's name over and over again. Her hands were trapped against his chest. At this range, she could see the tracks of tears from his eyes. She squirmed, becoming alarmed and very conscious that both Kasumi's and her father's voices could be heard in the hall. Maybe if she stayed very quiet, they would settle back to sleep and she could escape without further embarrassment. Barry had quieted down, now that he was holding something. Maybe... Barry rolled, muttering softly, swinging a leg across her and half pinning her to the floor. It was the final straw. Legs and arms trapped, she used her extensive martial arts skills to find the quickest, most direct path out of this situation. She leaned her head forward and bit his shoulder. Hard!

With an almost apologetic and anti-climactic yelp, he released her and rolled away. Footsteps pounded in the hall and the door was snatched open. Akane had barely enough time to roll to her knees again and look up, masking her fright with anger.

"Akane! What are you..." Soun began to bellow, before it occurred to him he was hoping that maybe... "Ah, well, what's done is done! We'll discuss when to hold the ceremony in the morning."

"Dad!"

"Father, aren't you being a bit abrupt?" Kasumi cut in, while observing Akane and Ranma with a critical eye. "It's probably not what it looks like."

"It never is," muttered Barry, rubbing his shoulder. "What's everyone doing in my room?"

You were having a bad dream," Akane cut in quickly. "Was it about Jusendo again?" She added.

Barry was still disoriented, but nodded in what he hoped was an acceptable manner. "_Jusendo_…" Ranma's memories about that incident had often plagued him. Having Gwen feature in Akane's role did not suit him at all. Used to controlling his dreams when in his own body, he had not yet mastered that skill in Ranma's. It could have been, in part, due to the fact that these dreams were memories of actual events, and therefore potentially possible to recur.

Kasumi shook her head and rolled her eyes. Taking Soun by the arm, she led him out of the room.

"Barry," Akane whispered.

"Nice catch, tomboy," came his reply. "Was I really having a nightmare?"

"You were calling out your wife's name and pounding the floor hard enough to shake the house," she said. "When I tried to wake you, you grabbed me."

"I what?" he hissed. "Aw, jeez, Akane! Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, but you had me pinned to the floor. I hate to think what Daddy would have done had he seen that!" She shuddered and looked contrite. "I had to bite you to make you let go."

He stared at her for silent seconds and gingerly touched his shoulder again. "Well, now I know why this hurts."

"I'm sorry!" she almost wailed.

"I'm not. I don't think I'm ready to try cross-dimensional bigamy, thank you." He rotated the shoulder and scanned with ki-vision. "Oooh! That's gonna leave a mark!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Let's not get into that again. Tell ya what. I saw a broom handle in the tool shed. How about we keep it by the door so if you need to wake me up again, you can do it from a safe distance?"

Akane huffed considering, then nodded. "Sounds good to me. Goodnight, Barry."

"Goodnight, Akane." He watched her edge out and shut the door, before falling back on his mattress. He wondered how many more surprises this situation was prepared to throw at them. Oh, well. It could wait for morning. They could all wait till morning. Sometimes, these things had a life of their own.

* * *

Monday started too early, but then every morning did these days. Barry found Akane ready for her morning run early, a fact that puzzled him until she reminded him about the idea of running to Ranma's parents together before preparing for school. He shrugged and walked outside with her.

Akane took off like a shot, hurling herself over the wall and onto the rooftops with swift sure leaps that left him, temporarily at least, in the dust. Gritting his teeth he rushed after her, only slowly closing. It took them twelve minutes and thirty-two seconds to reach the Saotome house and drop panting into the yard.

"You've been doing this every day, haven't you?" panted Barry, accusingly. He had not quite caught her by the time they hit the yard.

"Better believe it," Akane shot back. "Ranma's in for a surprise when he gets back." She grinned evilly. "I'd love to try that onsen race now!"

"Over-muscled, un-cute, macho chick," Barry said with deliberate cadence. He could almost hear the blood vessels pop as her heart rate and blood pressure soared. "Incoming panda, at your four o'clock and high."

Genma soared over her head brandishing a sign that read, How dare you insult your fiancée!'

Akane fielded a hind paw, threw the panda flat and both moved in with a fine exhibition of tsubo disabling techniques. Soon, Genma lay on his back, twitching spasmodically. Leaving him for the moment, they moved to the house, knocked on the door and were greeted by Ranma's mother.

"Akane, how nice to have you visit. Please come in." Nodoka led the way to the main room. "Ranma, there's tea ready in the kitchen. Will you get it?"

"Hello, Auntie Nodoka," Akane answered her meekly. "We decided we should visit you together." Barry, coming in from the kitchen, frowned. Akane's tone had made it sound a little too cozy.

"Yeah! Akane does her joggin' around this time anyway, so I figured makin' her come all this way might help work off her spare tire," he said, dropping down to begin serving the tea. "Ow!" Both women reacted, Akane punching him and Nodoka using a heavy book that she had at her place to chastise him. He winced and glared at them both.

"That was unconscionably rude, Ranma," Nodoka exclaimed. "Even if Akane were an unwelcome visitor, that sort of remark is beyond propriety!"

"What spare tire, _Ranma_," Akane said with saccharin sweetness. "The one around your hips or your head, Mr. I-got-here-second!"

He grinned and stuck his tongue out at her. "You got a head start. See if that happens tomorrow!"

"Oooh!"

They returned to the Tendo's for breakfast and a quick bath each. Then at high speed, but without appreciable effort, they made it to Ryoga's house. When their knock went unanswered, Barry showed Akane how ki-vision could be used as an aid to picking locks. Letting themselves in, they heard a muffled thumping sound from deeper in the house. Ryoga managed to lock himself in a closet.

Carefully making no inflammatory comments, Barry helped Ryoga find the bathroom, the kitchen and then his own room to change for school. Unlike Ranma, Ryoga actually had uniforms hanging in his closet. Shouldering his pack, which included his books, umbrella and basic survival gear in case he got lost, Ryoga strode through the door and into the closet again.

They still managed to get to school on time, picking up Mousse and Shampoo on the way. Mousse had a new scroll, which he had translated and wanted to give to Ranma to review during a study period or lunch. As they hit the gates, it was evident that there were still five male students who were either stupid or desperate enough to persist in attempting to attack Shampoo. She waved Mousse off and went to work.

Thirty seconds later, five male students were hanging by their underwear from various trees. A permanent marker had been used to inscribe the symbols for 'hentai' prominently on each buttock. Mousse shuddered and looked away. Actually, he felt much better than he had for a while. Shampoo had never attempted to humiliate him that way.

* * *

The day went surprisingly smoothly until gym class.

"Hey, Ranma," Daisuke called out as he lathered his hair up after soccer. Daisuke and Hiroshi usually bracketed Ranma in the shower, as he could trust them not to try to trigger his curse. "I heard that Mrs. Morisato and her sister were over at the Tendo's this weekend."

"You heard right."

"Lucky dog! I saw her when Mrs. Morisato started," remarked Hiroshi, rinsing on the other side. "Tall, white-blond hair, really short dress and a body to kill for!"

Barry stopped his rinse and peered at Ranma's friend. "Who are you kidding? She was Akane's height, but thinner, long black hair and blue eyes. She came across as a brainier, younger, more aggressive version of her sister. Her name is Sakurida. I didn't catch the family name."

"Younger?" exclaimed Dai. "How much younger?"

"I thought Mrs. Morisato's sister was older?" said Hiro.

Barry considered and then shrugged. "Sakurida is about our age, by the way. I didn't ask, but maybe she has an older sister as well." He rinsed off and reached for a towel. "Thankfully, they never ran into Pops while I was growing up or with my luck, I'd probably be stuck with another fiancée."

"If she's anything like her sister, that would be luck," sighed Dai. "Not the kind you're likely to…"

Barry suddenly noticed that Dai was staring at him. He looked down. He was still male. What?

"What's that mark on your shoulder?"

"Huh?" Barry glanced down, following the boy's eyes.

"Are those teeth marks? Oh, _man_!" remarked Hiroshi, almost reverently.

'Shit!' thought Barry. 'Think fast!' A distraction presented itself.

(SPLOOSH!)

"Ha-ha-ha!" Kogara wrapped in just his towel, grinned nastily. In his hands was an empty wash bucket, recently containing about five liters of cold water.

"You trying for Kuno-clone status, Kogara?" Barry said quietly, her higher pitched, feminine voice barely controlling the rage that lit up the blue eyes like arc lamps.

"What do you mean?" Kogara paused his oggling, slightly put off by Ranma's total lack of obvious emotional distress. Hiroshi and Daisuke backed away quietly.

"You splash me with cold water while I'm naked, laugh and you're still standing in arm's reach?" Barry elucidated.

Kogara proved he was not as dumb as a stump. He snatched a sprayer from the wall and turned a stream of hot water on the redhead. Barry felt his body expand and reshape. He sucked in a deep breath and continued to hold Kogara's eyes. The latter stood there, shaken but making no move to escape.

"Good boy," Barry said, wringing out his towel. "Not as stupid, and ya got the guts ta stick around. Please don't do that again." He turned away, ignoring his adversary and began to strip the water off his body with sweeping strokes of his hands. He completely forgot about Hiroshi, Daisuke and 'the Bite'.

No one made any further comment as they changed about Ranma's feminine attributes. Nor did they say anything aboutthat Bite, which was unfortunate. Lunch was only two periods away and rumors runs fast. Four interested parties began to hear and ask and prepare their positions.

* * *

Barry noticed something wrong by the frigid demeanors and frosty looks from Shampoo and Kodachi. Akane wasn't much better, though she felt distressed rather than angry. Ahead of him, Ukyo turned around and gave him an indecipherable look, part amusement, part worry and part anger. He wasn't sure what was going on, but figured he better be on guard. He was walking on eggshells as he went out to meet the girls at lunch. Kodachi and Shampoo seemed to be joining up against Akane who had set her back to a tree to prevent being flanked. He looked around for Ukyo. She was flipping okonomiyaki, but her stance held a set stillness that betrayed her awareness of the tension. It was unclear which side she would come down on. He wondered what had sparked it this time.

"You have bite?" Shampoo demanded.

Barry boggled. Then he laughed. His snickers infuriated all three girls and the only thing that saved him was the fact they were unwilling to join together.

Kodachi gained control of herself first. "Ranma-darling," she drawled with elaborate smoothness, "I've heard some rather disgusting rumors concerning yourself and a certain… person." She shot a poisonous look at Akane.

"We want know if true!" demanded Shampoo.

"What's the rumor mill grinding today?" Barry asked, amused. Those idiot _hentai_ at gym! They saw what they wanted to see, of course.

"The _hoi polloi_ have offered that you and that Tendo creature you board with have, have… I blush to even think it."

Akane growled. Barry looked sideways at her and debated playing dumb and asking Kodachi ever so innocently, 'Whatever do you mean?' He decided Akane wouldn't put up with it.

"No."

"No, what?" asked Shampoo trying to work out grammatically just what he was answering 'no' to. "No mark on airen neck?"

"Oh, there's a mark." He opened his bento and began diving through it. Somehow there would be a misunderstanding; that was obviously norm in Ranma's life. He might as well get some nourishment while he waited for the fun to begin. Akane had done a good job this time. She was showing improvement in more than martial arts lately.

"What is mark?" demanded Shampoo glowering.

"I say let's see for ourselves," said Kodachi making a lunge for his collar.

Barry dodged her easily. Mousse could have seen her coming. He hadn't anticipated Akane swinging in from the side to put the Black Rose down with a subtle tsubo strike and deflect Shampoo's initial probing attack. Akane responded almost eagerly, moving in with grim determination.

"Whoa! _Whoa_! Hinako's doin' lunch, fer kami's sake! She sees you two rumbling… I said '_stop_'!"He pushed between them, hurling them both back.

"Shampoo see where wind blows." Eyes tearing, she turned and began to run, only to be brought up short by a firm grip on her arm. He ducked and blocked as she actually lashed out at him and maintained the grip.

"Akane, let's get this over with," Barry said over his shoulder. "The rumors'll die if these two realize what happened.

"Is mark?" Shampoo demanded again sullenly. "Is Akane bite?"

"Is bite, yes," he told her, "It wasn't from any 'throes of passion', though." He released her arm and knelt beside Kodachi. "Yo, Rosie! Time for wakey-wakey." He pressed several spots on Kodachi's neck and sent a surge of ki to places he wanted to stay clear of.

"Ohhh… What happened?"

Barry glanced at Akane. "I think your passionate nature caused you to faint, Kodachi. Now, why don't we talk about this over lunch, without any fighting that'll get us _ki_-drained by Miss Hinako?"

Kodachi jerked upright and felt her head astonished. "I feel remarkably well. Oh, yes, the mark." She glared at him. "I think you should talk fast."

Barry turned to Shampoo. "Ya still have nightmares about Phoenix Mountain and Jusendo?" The Amazon went still.

"Mousse tell you?" she asked furious. "Shampoo not even tell Grandmother."

"Just a good guess. I can't imagine going through what you did and _not_ having nightmares about it." He turned to Kodachi. "It was the nearest thing to hell you can imagine and, if things had gone differently, Shampoo, Ryoga, Akane, Mousse and a lot of other people besides yours truly, would be crispy snacks for the worms in China." Kodachi's eyes grew round.

Shampoo shuddered and nodded. "Airen fight Saffron, Phoenix Lord. Is kami, but Ranma win. Shampoo caught by mind control, but Ranma free. All dead if airen fail."

"Kami don't exist," insisted Kodachi.

"That's open for debate," offered Barry. "_He_ thought he was; and he could fly and throw fire around like water." He frowned reflectively. "And it was Mousse that freed you with that mirror…"

"How did you-!" Kodachi's eyes grew wider. Mad as she was, she trusted in Ranma's basic decency to buffer possible retaliation to her actions. As she looked into Barry's eyes, he let leak through the bleak grimness and horror that Ranma had felt in Saffron's destruction. She fell silent.

"Is there a problem over here?"

Barry looked up. He had thought Miss Hinako was on lunch patrol, but it was Mrs. Morisato that gazed back at him. Something about the way she held herself indicated an awareness of the tension in the air. Barry felt that if necessary, she could deal with almost anything that came up.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Morisato," he said carefully. "I'm afraid a rumor about me got out of hand and it upset some people all out of proportion."

"Perhaps you should enlighten those most concerned?" she suggested. "I'm sure this can be dealt with without further trouble."

Barry watched Ukyo, mega-spat in hand, edge closer. He groaned. "_Sensei_, in my experience, that doesn't happen to me."

"_Honestly_!" Akane burst out. "He had a nightmare! I tried to wake him. He grabbed me while he was still asleep and I got scared and bit him! All right?"

"That must have been a terrible dream," Mrs. Morisato said into the silence that followed. "Would you like to talk about it?"

"Not really."

Mrs. Morisato looked taken aback. "Very well. I must respect that."

"Mrs. Morisato," Barry said, reaching out to her, "I'm not rejecting your offer; but do ya mind if I talk to ya about it some other time and place?"

The teacher straightened and smiled. "Anytime." She looked across the yard and frowned. "Oh, my! I think I need to talk to those three; they're intimidating Mr. Gosunkugi again." She hurried off.

Barry shook himself. Mrs. Morisato was a mystery to him. He turned back to find Kodachi glaring at Akane.

"Do you really expect us to believe such a tale, Tendo?"

"Just because you would take advantage of a situation, Kuno…"

"Ohohohohoho! A manly man, such as Ranma, could not resist such an opportunity." She looked Akane up and down. "Little as there is."

"Why you…" Akane and Kodachi each took a single step forward to renew hostilities. Barry stepped between just in time to be nailed from both sides, as Akane struck with a straight punch and Kodachi pulled a club from somewhere and lashed out sidearm. The two glanced startled at his twitching form before locking eyes and glaring at each other again.

"Children!"

Startled, the two combatants looked up to see Mrs. Morisato gazing at them reproachfully. They stepped back, abashed. Even Kodachi's face twisted in unfamiliar regret.

"I'm sorry," Akane said in a small voice.

"My foul temper… I apologize for my unseemly actions here," Kodachi murmured.

They glanced up and were rewarded by Mrs. Morisato's frown's disappearance. She said more gently, "I can think of someone else you should both be apologizing to." She glanced down and was mildly surprised to see the boy in question struggling to rise to his feet.

"S'all right, I'm used to it," he grated. Shampoo caught him under the arms and helped him rise. Akane and Kodachi winced at the crackling sound that came as his ligaments snapped back into place. He leaned to one side then the other and more popping could be heard, each retort a slap at the two girls who had put him there.

Mrs. Morisato frowned again. "If I could, I'd talk to both of your parents about such antisocial behavior. All you succeeded in doing is harming the very person you're concerned about. I don't want to see this happen again."

Barry groaned to himself. To this crew, that just meant be sure of your target before letting fly, and no witnesses around.

"Kodachi, I suggest you accept Ranma and Akane's contention that nothing happened. Especially since Shampoo seems able to corroborate the contention of the bad dreams. I think, considering what is involved, that if they had, um…_done it_, Akane would certainly not deny it, as it would provide validity to her claim." Mrs. Morisato's cheeks flamed as she spoke.

As Kodachi apologized again, ceding the argument, he wondered if Baradandya Morisato was subconsciously reviewing certain recreations common to herself and her husband. The exasperated look she shot him took him by surprise. He bowed slightly in apology and received a look he could only interpret as '_Men!_'

"Lunch is nearly over," the teacher reminded them. "I suggest you all use the time left to finish your lunches and return to class."

"Yes, ma'am," they chorused.

For a change, they all ate their own food. Akane chewed mechanically contemplating what had happened. She had almost finished her bento, when it struck her that this time she had finally done it completely right. Her face lit up, she turned to comment to Barry, who in Ranma's absence, could at least offer some constructive criticism (i.e. praise) and stopped. Barry was nowhere to be seen. "Oooh! That… that…" She was going to give Barry a piece of her mind when she caught up with him.

* * *

"Who were you talking to dear?"

Alarm bells were going off all over the place, but disturbed the current inhabitants of the library not at all. Ranma swallowed convulsively. How do you explain to someone that you were calling long distance to Japan in an attempt to find someone who probably didn't exist here?

"I was going to call… Mom's to… (Think! _Think!_) …check about Brandon's birthday, but when I got on the line there was this guy talking in a foreign language; Japanese, I think. At least, I think I caught 'Domo arigato' and 'Nihongo-ga-dekimasu-ka'."

"And that tells you this person was speaking in Japanese?" Gwen looked definitely disbelieving. "What does it mean?"

"Eeep!" '_Think fast_, Barry's bod! Have you ever read Japanese or a book with Japanese in it?' An answer came back quickly. "Oh," he said more confidently, "didn't you read _Shogun_? 'Domo arigato' is short for 'domo arigato gosaimasu', which is 'thank you very much'; and 'nihongo-ga…'"

"Never mind," Gwen waved him silent and shook her head. "I came looking for you because it's time for lunch. I was thinking buffet. How does that sound to you?"

Barry's memories kicked in. A long table filled with food… all-you-can-eat-type food! Many varieties. His eyes widened and almost teared. So emotionally stirred was Barry's 'house-sitter', that he did not even protest the unconsciously prompted, "I love you!" that popped out. His stomach growled audibly.

"I'll take that as a yes," Barry's wife said smiling. Barry had seemed reticent since the accident and the unprompted declaration soothed her hurt feelings. "Come on, Brendan," she said when that party wanted to head back to the dinosaurs. "Time for buffet."

"Can't we have pizza?" the youngster whined.

"Not this time, short stuff," said Ranma firmly. "I'll show you how a martial artist _really_ eats!"

"I can't believe you did that!"

They sat in the car following the buffet. Ranma had been distinctly _Ranma_. (Buuuurp!) "It was good." He patted a straining stomach. "Ya have to admit it was a balanced meal."

"If you're a weight-lifter!" Gwen exclaimed in return. "You ate enough for three, maybe four, people!"

"I was hungry," Ranma answered reproachfully. "It _was_ all you can eat."

Brendan's eyes were huge. "You ate the dinner and six plates of fruit and vegetables from the buffet! And so fast! That was neat!"

"I wish you'd warn me before you do something like this," groaned Barry's wife. "You do realize he's going to try to pig out next time we go, just to 'be like Daddy,' don't you?"

"He'll only try it once, unless he really needs it," Ranma observed.

"Great. You can clean it up!" she retorted, disgusted. "I just hope I don't have to clean up after _you_!"

They drove slowly back to the mother-in-law's house. Barry heaved himself out of the car and winced. The damage from the fall from the horse was almost healed, but enough remained that the meal was a strain on the small of his back. He walked uncomfortably into the house.

Maybe he had overdone it. He settled himself into the recliner and watched as Brendan cued up the videotape again, rewinding it of course, so he could see it from the beginning.

"Brendan, clean up this room!" came Gwen's voice. The boy looked longingly at the lead-in coming up on the screen.

"Get going," Ranma said, taking the remote from his fingers. "I won't watch till you're back.

He switched the VCR off and began searching channels. He had no idea what he was looking for, but serious effort would have to wait until this meal digested. He was becoming aware that Barry's body was not used to gorging in the manner _he_ was used to. It was just a little uncomfortable. Gwen came through, sighed at him in exasperation and let a hand stroke lingeringly across his cheek.

That was another situation that might cause problems. If Barry hadn't been injured, last night might have gotten interesting. Barry and Gwen were… _affectionate_. Ranma was not Hiroshi or Daisuke. He might be slandering them, but he suspected his _hentai_ friends would, had they been in his position, considered it a learning experience. After all, what Gwen didn't know wouldn't hurt her, right?

Ranma was not of that opinion. More, he knew Barry was not of that opinion. He remembered how Barry had 'ducked', as Ranma in his inebriated state decided he was going to kiss Akane. Ranma's guest had attempted to provide him with some semblance of privacy and tried to avoid sharing what he felt should be a private experience between them. Ranma was grateful to him for that, even if it hadn't worked out.

He found that he had cycled through the available channels and took stock. He hadn't seen anything on eastern religions and philosophies, no martial arts, or even any _animé_, for that matter. He was beginning to get the hang of flipping through Barry's memories. And those memories told him that the eastern philosophies were not held in high regard in this region. In part, this was due to the exploitative and irrational actions of high profile personalities, who claimed these philosophies as their 'inspiration', when obviously the only thing that inspired them were drugs and bed-hopping. It helped explain the failure of Ranma's own efforts at the library. Most of those books were either sponsored by these maniacs or written by them. Ten thousand year old Atlanteans, indeed!

"I'm back!" caroled Brendan, leaping up the side of the recliner to land with a thump on Ranma's over-full stomach. He twitched the remote out of Ranma's spasming hand and turned on the VCR again.

He slid off Ranma's lap as that individual came to an abrupt decision and, in typical Ranma fashion, acted without delay or unnecessary movement. The recliner folded in. Ranma stood up and staggered across the room to the door of the bathroom, where he fell down in worship to the porcelain god. After several long, painful moments, he wiped his mouth.

"I warned you," faintly came the almost smug voice of Barry's wife.

Ranma groaned. He had to get out of here!

* * *

Barry, Akane, Ryoga and Shampoo walked toward the Nekohanten after school. As they walked, Barry muttered over the account Mousse had provided at the beginning of the day. Akane glowered at him from the side, still irritated by the fact that she hadn't been complimented in a timely manner over a meal where she had soloed and done well. Shampoo skipped along. She planned to ask her Grandmother to let her translate this evening's offering. Ryoga pondered something, ponderously.

Ryoga was not, by any standard, stupid. At times he might seem slow on the uptake, but on the whole, it was preoccupation, not lack of intellect, that was his downfall. Periodically, Barry or Akane would reach out and steer him back on course. Ryoga was considering a concept that Barry proposed at the end of lunch, that Ryoga's curse of directionlessness was due, at least in part, to the over-focused manner in which he automatically fell when not distracted by a companion.

Barry had suggested that this would permit a Hibiki to marry and manage some sort of family life during a child's formative years, as the companion would, at least temporarily, offset the curse through attention. As the children of such a union grew, they would become more demanding of the companion's time, thus leaving less time to offset the Hibiki wandering sense. He had other theories about why a wife might 'catch' the Hibiki curse, but those Ryoga shot down.

"Wadja mean it's not contagious?" Barry demanded. "Ya said yerself that yer mom got lost when ya were six! How'd that happen if she didn't catch it?"

"My mom is a Hibiki fourth cousin!" snapped Ryoga. "She always got lost all the time! My dad claimed they just wound up in the same place so often, it was inevitable that they married." He shouldered his pack uncomfortably. "So how does that fit your theory?"

Barry snickered. "I can see it now — two hearts, lost and weary, crying out from the dark street on which they find themselves. '_Where the hell am I_?' they scream to an uncaring sky. But the call is heard, eyes meet, lips part to say softly, '_You? Again_?'" He dodged a swing as Ryoga made an inarticulate complaint. "'_It must be… destiny_,'" he added, clutching his chest dramatically.

Ryoga had chased him across half the school grounds, the pursuit only ending when Akane intercepted Barry-baka for her own reasons, something about the quality of Barry's lunch.

Ryoga had not been able to shake the words from his mind though. Had Barry actually come up with the true source of the Hibiki curse? It fit Ukyo's problem sort of, too. She had become so focused on her perceived misdeeds that she systematically lost track of her surroundings. Guilt had been her driving emotion; anger and depression were his, he had to admit. If he gave up the obsessive emotions, could he break the curse, insofar as it affected him? If so, that meant that all Ukyo would have to do was give up her guilt and feeling of rejection to escape her private bit of hell. He'd have to talk to her about it at lunch tomorrow. Maybe together they could work out the answer to their mutual problem.

"She's real nice, Ryoga."

Ryoga frowned. He had, of course been floating in the clouds of his own thoughts. He had no idea whom Barry was speaking about, certainly not Ukyo.

"Who?"

"Akari, dummy! The reason Akane's takin' you to the temple today."

"Oh." Ryoga frowned, deciding more than a grunt would be required here. "She's a very nice girl."

"Hard to believe you two have been livin' together under the same roof."

Barry's words sank in, along with several possible interpretations. Ryoga, naturally, chose the worst. "What do you mean by that?" he demanded. He stopped, fists clenched and glowering, while everyone skipped out of range.

"Nothin', man; nothin' at all! Really!" Barry held up his hands and Ryoga slowly subsided.

"You better not have," he growled. "I don't deserve her. I haven't touched her."

"No matter how much she wanted ya to?" inquired Barry.

"Will you shut up?" Ryoga nearly screamed. Then his shoulders slumped. Realization that he hadn't even thought about Akari since she left and guilt over the fact he had been thinking about Ukyo suddenly overwhelmed him. "What am I gonna do?"

"Ryoga, if yer that incompatible…" began Barry.

"I said, 'shut up', Ranma," Ryoga growled. A familiar green aura began to flicker about his shoulders.

Barry glanced around. Ryoga was leaking angst and depression all over the place. However, the busy streets were no place to let him build into a depression blast. He needed something to distract him and help him work off the emotional dumps he had lost himself in. There was one tried and true method he could use. Oh, well…

"Ya know, piggy, that's a real unhealthy habit you have," he observed.

"Don't call me that!" Ryoga growled.

"Whatever! No need ta put yer tail in a coil," Barry added.

"What did you say?"

"I can't believe he said that," groaned Akane quietly.

"No need ta go off yer feed."

"That does it! Prepare to _die_, Ranma!" bellowed Ryoga. He slid out of his pack, leaving his umbrella behind. "Ki-yah!" He unleashed a powerful straight punch, but Barry wasn't there. A series of high-speed strikes, blocks and evasions moved them down the sidewalk toward a building undergoing renovation. Used to such activities, the residents of Nerima stepped aside to let the combatants through. Barry broke contact again with three swift back flips, the last taking him up the scaffolding to the second floor level. Ryoga snarled and followed him.

"What they do now?" asked an exasperated Shampoo.

"I think they're _playing_," grumbled Akane. It wasn't like Barry to pick a fight. Ranma, yes; but that was different. So what was he 'playing' at?

It may have started out as playing on his part, but Barry was becoming concerned. Ryoga was cutting his margin of error right to the nub, even sloppy as he was with rage. Scaffolding and workers survived the hide-and-seek through the structure before the two made contact again, the force of the blows echoing in the afternoon traffic. The battle dodged between cars and bicycles, and traveled back onto the sidewalk, where a boy with a water pistol brought it to an abrupt end.

"Awww, jeez!"

"Squeeee!"

The boy looked at the pair, then at his squirt gun and tentatively fired it off at a playmate. She promptly chased him down the street yelling threats.

Barry sighed, partly in relief. She glanced at the little black pig Ryoga had become and grinned slightly. On the ki level, he seemed to have worked off his depression for now. "Feelin' better?" she asked. She offered a hand to Ryoga, intending to carry him back across the street. The hand received toothy attention. "Ow! Dammit, Ryoga!"

"Squeeee, hee, hee, hee…"

"Jerk!" Barry exclaimed. "How much are you gonna laugh when I leave you here on the street?" Ryoga-pig frowned then looked up and down the street. "Hey, a block down, one of Shampoo's competitors has a special today, Szechwan pork and fried rice." Feigning indifference, Ryoga walked up to his redheaded adversary and leapt up into her arms. "I thought you'd see it my way. Feeling better?" Barry picked up Ryoga's clothes and started back across the street. The porcine martial artist nodded absently. Sometimes a good rousing fight, especially if you can claim at least a moral victory, can be cathartic. Across the street again, she bundled the clothes into his pack and then heaved the whole thing up on one shoulder, umbrella and all.

"How do you do that," Akane asked her softly. "Besides Ryoga and… You're the only one who can just heave his stuff around like that."

Barry glanced at Akane, then at Ryoga. Snickering slightly, she said, "Let's just say that it's not a matter of strength, Akane."

Akane grimaced, but let matters rest, which was just as well. Barry had considered proclaiming some outrageous remark such as, '_Only Ryoga's true soul-mate could lift his umbrella_!' Then she remembered it was all too likely to be taken seriously around here. The last thing she wanted was to give Ranma back his body, only to find he had picked up Ryoga as another fiancé. _Yuck_!

* * *

Ranma crawled gratefully into bed and let Gwen pack a heating pad against his back. Though now only a little impaired, he spent the remainder of the day convincing Gwen that he was still an invalid. In place of the tea, so 'off' to his sense of taste, was a mug of cola, a surprisingly affordable item here in the States. He browsed a science fiction novel by A.E. van Vogt in the hopes that some memories of Barry's really _had_ indicated a heavily psychic slant that fit in with his experience. Gwen left him alone for a while to see to her mother and finish the dinner dishes.

Van Vogt was interesting, but not what he was looking for. He tried Andre Norton next, then Anne McCaffrey. They were all interesting and even seemed to have sources of insight to his problem, but none gave more than a light touch to the mechanics by which their characters performed their magic or psi-powers or whatever. One of the closest, most frustrating experiences he had, was in reading the critical chapter in Edgar Rice Burroughs's book, '_Princess of Mars_' where the hero was transported, or translated, to Barsoom. Almost to a 'T', it fit what happened to Barry and himself, except for their lack of reference. It _felt_ right, though. He lay there on his side thinking furiously. Maybe he needed to develop some reference that would take him back. Some set of memories, or if Burroughs's account was taken literally enough, some_thing_ that was so necessary to him, that life itself was unimportant.

Akane. He had so often come to her rescue. Wasn't she important enough to bring him back? To be honest, as much as he liked everyone back home, she was the _only_ thing, …well, besides martial arts, that he would really regret losing. It was worth trying. He turned more on his back and tried to put himself into a trance state. He focused on Akane, her dark eyes, her soft, sweet-smelling hair, her smile... Especially that drop-dead, beautiful smile that left him breathless every time he saw it. He remembered the hard-soft feel of her body in his arms, the beat of her heart…

"I'm climbing into bed, love. Brace yourself."

Gwen's words shattered the floating sense of unreality he had been building. He almost wept as the vision, the waking dream of Akane, fled into the dimness of the shadows. He gritted his teeth and tensed as Gwen arranged herself so her body lightly wrapped about his from behind.

As she stroked his hair, he felt Barry's body respond to her warmth and closeness. Then he was fighting a desperate battle to keep the body passive to the presence at his back. He whined faintly, a sound generated by frustration and desperation. Gwen murmured an apology, to which Ranma offered a strained if unintelligible reply. He dared not think of Akane, least the combination of his desire and Barry's body's patterned behavior lead to areas he really did not want to investigate.

Concentrating on the sound of a single clapping hand, he settled down to guard against himself. He would not be able to seek Akane tonight.


	29. Relationships

**Guest Ki: Chapter 28**

_**Relationships**_

"Cologne, this Nyanniichuan curse… Is there any history of personality changes from it?" asked Barry nervously as she waited for the kettle to boil on the stove in the kitchen of the Nekohanten. The treatise they had been studying the last two evenings dealt with relationships between and interactions with the ki of a master attempting to influence the ki of an opponent. Something about the session had called to mind some of the influences Jusenkyo seemed to have on its victims. Now that the session was over, Barry's mind was darting all over the place, seeking out answers to questions. He tried to restrain himself but sometimes…

The Matriarch shrugged and stirred a pot on the stove, moving swiftly to season another, and then adjusting the flame beneath a third. "Most of the victims of Nyanniichuan have been animals, Ranma," she said. "Musk Dynasty and all that, or by accident. Few humans ever visited Jusenkyo willingly." She tasted the contents of a pot and added, "At least not until modern times and transportation made it easier to reach." She nodded, satisfied with the result. "Prior to that, it was rather difficult to interrogate a being that is unfamiliar with the uses of spoken language."

"That's true enough." Barry sighed and fidgeted. "Do any records exist as to who the girl was who drowned there?"

"No written records, certainly," came the reply. "Also, don't take the Jusenkyo guide's history of the springs too much to heart. I think his story is that Nyanniichuan is 1500 years old. Amazon tradition dates it much older."

"He lied to us?" Barry felt incensed. What a rip!

"No, he's telling the truth as he knows it. A lot of written records have been lost during the present government's various cultural revolutions, and the official party line assigned the springs to a particular imperial dynasty." She sighed, and looked distant. "Shampoo's grandmother, my daughter, died during one of those bits of nonsense." She shook her head. "I must be getting old; woolgathering like this." She sighed regretfully, apparently not noticing Barry's flinch.

"It's okay," Barry softly replied. He'd read some horrific things about Mao's 'reformations' but Cologne had lived through it. After a moment, he realized Ranma wouldn't necessarily brood over old blood. "Ahhh… What's the real story behind Jusenkyo, then?" Barry asked returning to that subject. "And I notice you didn't really answer me about the girl who drowned to make Nyanniichuan."

Cologne grinned and smirked. "I didn't, did I?"

Barry glared and checked the kettle. It wouldn't be long now. Ryoga was sitting not far away, waiting for the water to heat enough. Akane offered Ryoga a cracker, in a way that suggested to Barry that she still was responding to his pig form on autopilot. Shampoo bustled in and out, serving early customers. The glint of light off her hair, caught his curiosity bug. Before she could restrain herself she asked, "Shampoo? What color is your hair?"

Shampoo looked at her as if her 'Airen' were mad. "Is violet."

"Shampoo, please try to use proper grammar," Barry grumbled. Inside she was kicking herself. Was impulsiveness part of Nyannichuan? Stop it!

"Okay. My hair it… My hair is violet." She smiled smugly.

"That couldn't be its natural color," the redhead countered flatly, "though it's a damn good job." She turned to Cologne. "It's a dye that's ingested, isn't it?"

Both Amazons stopped dead. Cologne turned back to the redhead. "Very good, Ranma. As a matter of fact, it is. How did you deduce that?"

"It's not like I ain't never seen Shampoo in the altogether, Granny," Barry replied uncomfortably. "She's purple above and below, but the hair is soft, not dry and scratchy the way dyed hair is." She heard Akane growl softly. "The hair on her head is soft, I mean," she added hurriedly. "I don't know nothin' about any other hair!"

"Idiot," muttered Akane. Ryoga bwee-ed in agreement, though one hoof was raised to his snout in reaction to the comment.

Barry hurried on. "I wondered if Shampoo had a different hair color than most of the Amazons, since black hair doesn't take coloring well. If she had red or blond hair, that could explain this…" She pointed to her red hair. "…and maybe why ya won't talk about Nyanniichuan's first guest."

"You're free to speculate as you wish, boy," Cologne said indifferently. "Just remember your mother is also a redhead. Rare in Japan, but there you are."

The water was hot enough, so Barry transformed back and carried Ryoga to the bathroom along with his pack. Soon, the lost-boy and Akane were out the door. The former thumped Barry companionably on the shoulder and the latter warned him quietly to get his curiosity under control. They linked arms, very much like a girl with her date. Barry stared after them sourly; knowing that Ranma would probably be looking for some way to follow them, just in case.

"Mousse," shouted Cologne. That individual stuck his head into the kitchen. "Come in and translate for son-in-law, here."

"Grandmother?" whined Shampoo. "Can't I…"

"I want a translation, not a seduction, girl," she growled. "After we've corrected our 'problem', it may be another matter."

"Not fair!" Shampoo said, stomping off into the restaurant.

"What do you think, Mousse?" Barry asked as the man adjusted his glasses and gingerly rolled open a scroll.

"Hmmm? About Jusenkyo, Nyanniichuan, hair color, dyes or what?"

Barry blinked then decided the hell with it. "All of it."

"You are really strange, lately, Saotome."

He considered. "I don't know most of what you're asking about. We Joketsuzoku tend to leave the history in the hands of the women and the elders." He considered. "I was taught that Jusenkyo is around two thousand years old, however; and that the characteristics of most of the pools were set when it was made. Part of the trouble with Phoenix Mountain is over who actually owns the pools and the water there. Considering the origins of Saffron and Jusendo, I would say we 'usurped' their water." He smiled wryly. "Of course they only use it once every millennia or so. We could claim squatter's rights, I suppose."

"What about Nyanniichuan?"

"What are you worried about, anyway?" Mousse asked pointedly. "You don't like your looks? You wish it had given you different hair color? Or are you starting to get the hots for guys?"

"_Mousse_," Barry growled. "No, but I do act differently as a girl unless I concentrate on being what I really am."

"You're confused, Saotome," Mousse said shaking his head. "You're fighting the instincts of your assumed form. Look at me. When I'm a duck, I'm a _duck!_. If I focused on being a man while I was a duck, I could never fly or swim properly." He smirked at his foe. "Maybe the girl drowned in Nyanniichuan was a nymphomaniac?" Barry snarled. "All right, maybe she was just a natural flirt and when you relax, you pick up a little on that tendency," Mousse postulated. "Maybe that's why the Musk were able to pull off dumping animals in it for wives. I don't think a tiger, a bear or a wolf would be very happy with their husbands without a little outside help."

"Yer makin' me really uncomfortable, Mousse."

"You asked," Mousse retorted, chuckling to himself, removing his specs and cleaning them on the edge of his sleeve.

"Too bad yer pool didn't fix yer vision. It must be hell to fly when yer not sure of yer landing." Barry shook his head. "Betcha you could learn this ki-vision," Barry mused. Mousse froze as if solidly struck by a bonbori.

"You can teach that?" Mousse said in a small, strangled voice.

"Akane's startin' ta pick it up. Ryoga's at least getting an idea," Barry grinned at Mousse's expression. He tapped on the scroll. "Now about this new business… 'A sorceress of the Wa disciplined her followers by locking away their ability to desire one another…' I think I know how that could be done, and if yer third paragraph is sayin' what I think it's sayin, they use an emission of ki that adapts to the host body…"

"I suppose so," Mousse agreed half-heartedly. He frowned. "But why would you teach me?" he demanded, "Why would you give away such an advantage?" Then he cursed under his breath. "Damn it! Even if you are crazy enough to teach me, I promised Cologne I wouldn't train under you. "Mousse clenched his fist in frustration.

"Learn from Akane, then. Like I said; she's picking up on this pretty quickly." Barry shot back. "Besides, I'd kinda like someone on yer side of the aisle able to back me up when we get down to business, on this anyway." Barry frowned and turned his eyes back toward Shampoo as she bustled by the doorway. "I dunno, but we may need all the help we can get for this one."

Mousse stared at his rival and foe for a pregnant moment. "I'd give my life for Shampoo."

Barry shrugged. Mousse had proven that in the past. The more the merrier. Obligation might help, too. "Hey! Maybe we'll get lucky and we'll come across a book that says 'do A, B and C to achieve X, Y and Z and remove the block'."

Mousse snorted. "Like we'd be that lucky!" After cleaning his glasses on the sleeve of his robe he began to debate Barry on the meaning of the ancient writings.

* * *

Akane was supposed to meet him at 9:30 in the dojo. Soun and Kasumi left that morning, the rock in a heavy pack on Soun's back. Kasumi looked quite happy to have an excuse to get out of the house. Barry wondered if she would ever admit to having 'cabin fever'.

Barry, while checking for electronic surveillance, discovered that Ranma's father was a wavering ki presence manning a video camera and tripod just behind the dojo. Leaving him alone for the moment, he ran through a series of warm-up exercises to pass the time. Akane was now ten minutes late.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Akane bustled in. "Ryoga got lost in the men's room at a bathhouse near the temple and I couldn't convince anyone that I was serious about him needing to be led back out." She wrung her hands as Barry boggled at the possible ways that could be misunderstood.

"Uh…right. Never mind, I don't want to know."

"You don't believe me?" she demanded, reddening.

"Oh, I believe ya all right, I just don't want ta any time tryin' ta _misunderstand_ ya."

She frowned at him, trying to figure out whether that was insulting or not.

"Akane, let's see how yer ki-vision's coming along." He jerked his head at the far wall. Akane blinked and looked around suspiciously, using her ki-vision.

"Is that" she cut off her query quickly least she apprise the uninvited watcher of their awareness. Seeing the dully-glowing form behind the wall, she whispered, "Is that… Uncle Saotome?"

"Yup!" Barry did a series of back flips interspersed with aerial cartwheels. "Watcha…wanna do…'bout him?"

"Oooh! I can't believe he's spying on us, hoping that we'll… That he'll catch us doing…" She stamped her foot. "Honestly!" she muttered.

"Do some warm-ups or something while we talk," Barry whispered. "Do we let him film a boring, uneventful evening? Or do we bust his butt?"

Akane gave it about three seconds of consideration and broke into an evil grin. "Bust his butt!"

"Okay, stand back." Barry stood still with his hands close together and concentrated.

On the other side of the wall, Genma crouched, eyeing the images in the viewfinder. He had agreed to go on the trip with Soun and actually traveled part way with him. Then he slipped away and returned to spy on his son and his son's fiancée. He hoped to get proof of some kind that the two were more intimate than they let on and force an early wedding. Even a single kiss would do, and with the kind of action that happened in a sparring match, it would be easy to lift a few frames for misinterpretation. If nothing happened tonight… Well, he had drilled a hole into the ceiling of every bedroom in the house, so if they were even more enthusiastic… sneaky old Genma would wow the two of them with his home movies!

Behind the dojo, Genma frowned. He wished they'd hurry up and do something. Akane was still doing warm-ups and Ranma was… What was he doing?

Barry stood straight, his hands now over his head. Akane stepped back nervously. Rotating slowly on his hands was a _ki_-ball as wide as he was tall.

"Barry," she whispered. "If you let that thing loose, you'll wipe out the neighborhood!"

"Nah! It just looks impressive," he whispered back. "Watch." He leaned back, winding up and then with a smooth motion, threw the ball toward the wall Genma hid behind. "Seishinteki Zenmetsu!" he shouted as he released it.

Genma jerked upright. 'Spiritual Annihilation'? What the hell was that? His head ducked down again in time to see the ball of energy grow large in his viewfinder. He hurriedly backed away toward the boundary wall. He hadn't seen such a huge ki-ball since the Hibiki boy blew the side off a mountain. And with a name like 'Spiritual Annihilation… "_Ahhhhhhhhhh_!" The ball seemed to seep through the dojo wall energy crackling hungrily. He dodged to the side and stumbled as it turned and came after him. He backed rapidly away and dodged around the building. '_Ha_! It's too slow moving to be effective.' His face fell again as the ball sank part way into the wall of the compound, paused and changed direction again, homing in on him. "Hey!" He shouted, alarmed and backed swiftly and nervously around the front of the training hall. "Ranma!" he bellowed. "What is this thing?"

"Pops?" He focused on his son's voice and his face froze. Ranma looked uncharacteristically mournful. Almost as if someone died… or was going to! "Pops! You… you were back behind the wall?"

"Yes! What is this thing?" He dodged a sweeping pass of the globe, which crackled and turned sharper as it neared him. He moved to set a tree between himself and the ball, and cursed when it moved right through the planting continuing to pursue him.

"Honored Father…" Genma couldn't believe his ears, '_honored Father'_? "You must have been too close, I'm sorry!" Ranma fell to his knees, near weeping. Genma was getting freaked out. "There is no way to stop it now. I will remember you." Ranma's head fell, masking his face in shadow, his eyes hidden by his bangs.

"Ranma!" Genma backed out of sight with the ball following him at about ten kilometers an hour. "How do you stop this thing?" He leaped over the house. He turned and looked back at the building, only to see the ball sublimate through the walls and continue to pursue.

"I learned it from one of the forbidden scrolls Ryoga turned up. It was designed to act as a goad to sinful men to repent." Barry let his voice catch with concern. "When it catches you, it'll burn you until you are purified of spirit. Those who are beyond redemption… No! It's too horrible! I didn't mean to set it on you Pops! I'm sorry!"

"Sorry, hell! How do you stop it?"

"Only a pure spirit is said to be safe. Wait! There was mention of holy ground. Maybe, if you went someplace really holy, it would be confused by the over-all spiritual purity!"

"Now that's more like it, boy! Me for the nearest temple!" He started to dart away but Barry grabbed his arm and swung him out of the way of another pass, just coincidentally planting him partway into a wall.

"That might not be enough. Head for Mount Fuji! It's the biggest, holiest place around."

"Thanks, boy!" With tears in his eyes, Genma tore off in the wake of Soun and Kasumi.

Barry and Akane exchanged glances.

"To repeat the unnecessary: 'What a maroon!'" Barry added in english, after Genma disappeared. He turned to an astonished Akane who trembled with suppressed emotion and raised an eyebrow.

"HAHAHhaha-ha!" Akane howled with laughter. She staggered forward and fell against Barry still laughing and used him as a prop until her diaphragm began to spasm. Barry laughed with her for a while, though he was a little nervous about being in such close proximity to her. He was startled though, when he realized that somewhere along the way, the laughter had changed to tears.

"(Sob!) I wish… Ranma could have… seen that! (Waaaah!)"

Barry patted her back and felt helpless. "Well you'll just have to tell him, tomboy." Barry tried to be comforting. "That is, if he doesn't remember it on his own once he's back."

She continued to weep for some time. Barry held her for a while, stroking the back of her head reassuringly. His nose twitched. Damn! Akane smelled good! He had never smelled a perfume like this, but noticed in the past week or so, that some of the girls he brushed by in the halls wore it. Why would Akane...? He shook himself. It wasn't his business. And it wasn't good for Akane to go on like this for too long. He tried to snap her out of it. "Ya know, Akane, if we hadn't gotten rid of Genma we'd be in big trouble by now." She sniffled, dragged her face out of his chest and looked up at him.

"Thanks, Barry."

"No problem, sweetheart. I'm honored in your trust." Barry opened his arms and let her step away. "Let's go see if my static-charge ball left the camcorder in one piece."

"Okay."

As they walked outside, Barry pushed aside the memory of the scent and related what had happened that afternoon. Akane looked thoughtful at his theory about Nyanniichuan being made with an Amazon and the idea that Shampoo might be blond. When Barry snickered about blondes, she forced him to explain about blond jokes.

Barry noticed that she didn't seem to find the concept amusing. Even when he made note that both Picolet Chardin and Mikado were both blondes and therefore fair game for the concept, she failed to react. She only looked doubtful about the idea of teaching Mousse the ki-vision.

He was beginning to worry about her state of mind. He knew that he was a slap in her face every time she saw him. He wondered how he would feel had the roles been reversed and Akane had been thrown into his world, into Gwen's body. He shuddered. How the hell did she manage to make it through any single day?

The camcorder seemed alright, though the tape showed only static. After returning and sparring as a warm up, Barry sat Akane down to go through her ki exercises. It was soon evident she was having trouble dropping into the meditative state required for access to the new technique. "Talk to me, Akane," he demanded quietly.

"I don't want to talk to you!" Her voice was intense, agonized and grieving. He apparently hadn't brought her completely out of the earlier funk.

"But we're in this together," He pointed out. "In fact, Ranma may need us both to get him back home."

"It's going so slow! By the time we learn enough to bring him back, I could be a grandmother!" she shouted at him.

"Not without some help," he retorted. She went white even as he recognized his mistake. "Whoa! I'm sorry! I'm sorry; that was uncalled for. I knew what you meant."

She subsided, though her complexion was now flushed with anger.

Barry dropped the Ranma mask completely, in an attempt to put her more at ease. "You have the ki-vision now, Akane; even if you're not completely comfortable with it yet. Ranma told me it made ki manipulation so much easier to understand that if he's had it when Ryoga learned the Shi Shi Hokudan, he would have never wasted his time trying to imitated him. He would have come to that fight with two or three techniques instead of just an imitation with another emotion. It's that powerful a tool."

Barry settled and continued. "Before I came here, I relied on the same five senses we all use. Before I was stuck in Ranma's head, sharing his experiences, I wasn't even aware of ki. Ranma opened that door for me and because of peculiar circumstances; I discovered a room he hadn't opened before.

"Now, I have to concentrate to shut ki-vision off. Maybe it's because I'm alien to this place and this body, or maybe its due to the Nekoken being on all the time. Maybe it's because Ranma when he trained you at the lake, needed to know your limits and push you past them. He probably could have trained you without ki-vision, Akane, but he wanted the very best result in the least amount of time. Never mind why," Barry added hurriedly. No need to remind her of the pain Ranma had felt at her rejection. "Ranma kept me focused on ki-vision the whole time!

"Ki vision may be the most perfect sense anyone can possess, but it may be too perfect! With it, you can literally understand everything there is to know about anything you want to observe. Unfortunately, absorbing all that information about even simple things is too much for anyone to do. Still, I'd like to think I got pretty good at it."

His almost arrogant statement both reassured and ticked off the girl before him. "Okay, so how will this help get him back?" she demanded.

Barry swallowed uncomfortably. "Ranma was principally concerned in making sure I wasn't a threat to anyone else – you know how uncontrolled I was – than in getting rid of me, especially after we discovered ki-vision." He shifted on his knees. "The only thing I know for sure is that he didn't want the Amazons or any of his other rivals to know what had happened or what we were trying to do; send me back where I belong – his way!"

Akane huffed. "Ranma always was sooo paranoid!" She stilled as Barry glared at her.

"I admit his first assessment of anyone he meets always deals with threat. But, how often has his paranoia been far off the mark, tomboy?"

"Even about me?"

He watched her fists clench yet her spirit seemed lighter, less depressed. He side stepped the question. "Hey! With that father of his, who wouldn't be paranoid?" Barry added on a lighter note. "Now, simple things first; watch me do Ranma's tricks and try to duplicate how the ki works in your own body. Go with instinct. If you try to understand and control every little bit you'll never get it." Barry stood and walked to the fire bucket. Immersing his arms, he became she and returned to kneel before Akane. "I'll start with the shield."

"Why not the Mouko Takabisha?" Akane asked abruptly.

"It's funny, but I don't want you learning that from Ranma. You already have a better way of calling out energy like that." She chuckled. "If you can do it again, We're going to be learning from you."

"What are you talking about?" She frowned. Barry had to be making fun of her. Barry pointed to a singed-looking circle in the middle of the dojo. Akane shook her head. She had seen that, but assumed Barry or Ryoga caused it.

"The night Ryoga was here, you decided to play around a little while you were practicing, and I told you not experiment?"

Akane's forehead scrunched a little. "I did that?"

"Uh-huh!" Barry smiled lopsidedly. "I really don't want to try that again, unless we're someplace that's fireproof or easily replaceable." She tossed her pigtail and set herself. "Now, watch how the shield works…"

* * *

Akane tucked herself into bed and stared at the ceiling. Working with Barry was so different than working with Ranma. He was more patient and totally unconcerned that she might be better than he was at something, even supportive. Ranma was usually furious when someone seemed to surpass him, especially in martial arts. Barry also tended to think ahead to the consequences of actions. Ranma tended to improvise on the fly. Which didn't mean Barry didn't make mistakes; they were just wildly different from the ones Ranma would have made.

Akane had asked Barry about that.

"Hey, I haven't spent _my_ entire life trying to be the best martial artist in the world, Akane," she had replied, still in girl form. "I am also more than twice Ranma's age; and that does make a difference in our outlook and approach. Ranma and I, though, both believe the student is a reflection of the teacher." The shoulders shrugged causing her breasts to bob. "Ranma might be ticked if you surpass him, but he'll be proud, too. Don't worry so much, Akane. Besides, you'd rather have him ticked and returned than otherwise, right?"

She had to agree with that. Then she had broached the subject pg training Mousse in this new technique. "After all, he's trying to kill Ranma."

"Over Shampoo. Look, Akane, I have eyes. Shampoo likes Mousse, but Amazon law is in the way." She demonstrated the shield for the umpteenth time that evening. "Besides, she does like Ranma. She's trying very hard to win him, and Amazon Law very clearly points the way, there. Hmmm… Amazon Law…"

Akane growled and again tried to imitate the shield, briefly freezing herself in a globe of force that didn't even allow her to speak. She released the effect in disgust.

"Hey, you almost got it there," encouraged Barry. They set up to try again. "What's worse for Shampoo, is that over the past two years, she's come to like and admire her rivals. Did you catch that bit with Cologne, where she was confused about what friends were? I'm willing to bet that she's desperate for friendship and that such a relationship is considered unnatural outside of her tribe."

"That's horrible!" Akane had exclaimed. Then a thoughtful look had crossed her face. "I wish we… I feel like Shampoo and I are starting to be friends…"

"You probably are." Barry watched as she finally put up a plane of energy that should be impervious to physical and _ki_ attacks. "Rules are one thing, Akane, but this…" She struck with punches, kicks and then finally a few light energy attacks. "This is a matter of the heart." The redhead stepped back and nodded approvingly. "She's an awfully nice person under all that Amazon bull-crap. She deserves better than the cards she's been dealt."

"I almost feel like I'm betraying her," Akane had said, "or she's betraying me."

"With Ranma?" Barry snorted indelicately. "Watch out, Akane."

Barry stepped back a few meters. Suddenly ribbons were whipping through the shield Akane hastily threw up to wrap tightly around the girl. Akane flopped to the floor like a netted fish.

"Eeek!" Akane writhed but was unable to free herself.

"Damn! I really thought you had it that time," Barry had commented. "Oh, well… Try this: Get yourself out, Akane."

"I'm trying!"

"Akane, once those things hit you, they are yours. Your ki feeds them; therefore, you can command them. If you do it right, we found you can even get an energy boost from absorbing them."

Akane struggled and glared some more.

"Maybe I should let you sleep out here in the dojo, chubby cheeks."

"How dare you! My cheeks are _not_ chubby!" she snarled. "And how you could tell, with me face down on the floor…"

"Oh, those weren't the cheeks I was talking about."

Suddenly, Akane found herself on her feet with her hands around Barry's neck. "Good girl," the redhead gargled, "that did it. Ranma's teaching techniques definitely have their place," she added when Akane released her in shock.

Akane shifted in her bed, clenching her hands. She had been so angry she had literally forgotten that the bonds were there; and then, they hadn't been. Barry had been almost nonchalant, but Akane knew Barry had been in nearly as much danger as Akane the night Barry had put her in the headlock. She had to get her anger under control. Barry picked up the conversation about Shampoo while Akane was still stuttering an apology.

"The way I see it is, once you have the experience, we'll set you up teaching Mousse. That'll firm up your own skills and Mousse will have an obligation to you, which means he'll try to avoid killing me or rather, Ranma."

"That won't change a thing with Shampoo, though, not in the long run," Akane sighed.

"Maybe not with Mousse, either, if he gets desperate. Damn! It's wiggling around right at the edge of my mind! We're missing something."

They had walked through the walkway to the bathroom where Barry dunked her hand into the furo. "That was kind of pointless," he commented, indicating the rinsing station, "I'm just going to go girl again. Anyway, I want Mousse to be there to help Shampoo in case anything goes wrong when we unlock her."

Akane suddenly grinned. "I've got you pegged now, Barry. You're an incurable romantic, aren't you?"

"Can I help it that I'd like to see everyone else have the same deal that I've got?" He grinned mischievously, and seated himself on the edge of the furo. "Man, I wish I hadn't gotten into the mix. Just think of the wasted opportunity here. Three or four days alone in this big house..." He grinned at her and waggled his eyebrows.

Akane twitched. She wasn't sure if it helped or not, Barry dropping the mimicry of Ranma again to allow his own personality to show through. Still… He believed in romance and true love. She blushed right to her toes at his comment about time alone with Ranma.

Though he usually dodged and twisted at any direct attempts to learn what Ranma's thoughts were about her, he wasn't as adept when he referred to her rivals. She knew solidly that Kodachi was 'in the running' only in her own twisted mind. Barry, acting on Ranma's behalf, brought up the possibility of adopting Ukyo into the Saotome clan, making Ranma's best friend his adopted sister. You don't marry sisters! Ranma planned to train Akane even before the incident on the island. If Ranma were choosing Shampoo, there would be no need to improve Akane's skills to be competitive with the Amazon. She may have been slow on the uptake with the Ryoga/P-chan thing, but now that most of the clutter was out of the way, she thought she saw how the ground lay...

* * *

"Oh, kami!" she suddenly exclaimed. She bolted out of bed and into the hall.

"What?" Barry looked as if he expected Ghengis Khan's hordes pouring up the steps.

"Ithought ofsomething we're missing!" She had both hands over her mouth.

"We're missing something?" Barry asked irritably. Was Barry as naïve as he seemed sometimes? It would fit in, to a degree, with his romantic streak.

"Shampoo! If she finds out we're alone, there's no way she won't think we've planned it, and… _you know_!" she squeaked in embarrassment.

"Come on, Akane! She got over that bit at the lake, she'll get over this."

"We had Ryoga at the lake."

"We had Ranma at the lake, too. Damnation! Maybe you're right. If we don't handle this right, we're might be in deep shit." He hissed in frustration, rubbing his head.

"It's late, but maybe not too late. Why don't I call her for a sleep-over?"

Barry rolled his eyes. "Shampoo? You know Mousse would have a fit!"

"So invite him along!"

"Want me to call Ukyo and Ryoga, too?" he asked sarcastically. "Remember what you said up at the lake about rumors?"

"What?" Akane was puzzled. Rumors? Oh, Ryoga...

"Something about having to deal with people asking about two girls, two guys and a pig in real questionable circumstances, and that was just the three of us." Barry looked appalled. "You bring everybody in, and we'll have Hiroshi and Daisuke trying to find some place to set up video cameras to watch the fun with... let's see… four girls, three guys, a pig, a duck, a cat… Oh, and a mad florist, because by that time Kodachi will have heard of it and butted in!"

"It's not like we'll be doing anything!" Akane had protested.

"You know that and I know that, but would the rest of the school believe it? Hell, would you believe it, had it been Ranma at say, Ukyo's? Or would you yank out your mallet and nail him before he said, 'Akane! It's not what it looks like!'"

Akane winced and looked terribly guilty.

"We need a chaperone," he grinned. "It's the best we can do, under the circumstances." He reached for the phone and dialed.

"Hello, Mom?" It was not long thereafter that Nodoka was over chaperoning.

* * *

It was Thursday: Barry had Akane cook without hovering, reminding her that she needed to keep her anger and frustration under control. Cooking was, according to Ranma's houseguest, as much a gentle art as martial arts were supposed to be. You didn't hear Kasumi screaming and thrashing around her kitchen. He had also removed any knife larger than a paring knife from her choice of weapons and stipulated that any preparation be done by counting 'one — place knife on food, two — slice with knife, don't lift, and three — raise knife from board. Four — _Don't_ abuse Kasumi's cutting boards…'

Akane decided to try a stir-fry from her mother's cookbook. Barry made her promise not to improvise; reminding her that her mother's cookbook was like the script of a master playwright. Shakespeare was not Shakespeare if no one bothered to follow the script. She had immediately broken up, leaving him staring until Ranma's memories replayed the _Romeo and Juliet_ incident. Nodoka, seated at the table already, watched the by-play with a smile and sipped her tea.

Rolling his eyes, he restated his case. She promised not to improvise. He also suggested that she sing to help relax in her work. She immediately concentrated and turned on her personal ki-driven radio. Shaking his head he had left her bouncing in time to some popular tune by a group called Rock-apella or something. Unusual group, no instruments and they could actually sing. Too bad they weren't around back home as far as he knew. He bounded up the steps and took out his journal.

_**Journal: Ranma's Guest — Thursday, 12 September 1991 – Day 19**_

_Well, Ranma, I suddenly realized that, in one week, it's my anniversary. What are _you_ doing tonight? That's rather petty of me, I know, but Gwen and I would have been celebrating our tenth. I hope you've managed to let her know what's happened without putting me in the loony bin or compromising our honor. Akane is making great strides and is going to be a real handful for you. Don't get any hentai thoughts about that remark. She's a rock… Damn, that doesn't translate too well. She's faithful to you as a samurai is supposed to be to his overlord. Sometime, I'm going to have to put down some advice for you about the facts of life. You two will both be much happier if _one_ of you knows what you're getting into; and as near as I can tell, your dad doesn't know much beyond stick it in, pull it out. It really makes me wonder why Nodoka lets him stay in the same house with her. What a jackass!_

_I digress. Akane is downstairs cooking. Sounds scary, huh? She's come along though. Now that her anger is getting under control (usually), she's much more reliable. She actually made a lunch Monday that was good! Tuesday was a bit of a gag, and Wednesday, because the day before had been bad, was a disaster. If you're wondering where Kasumi is, she went with Soun to return that extra boulder he apparently stole…(read previous entry)… _

_All alone in the house? Don't worry, your mom is here, subtly trying to encourage us to... _you_ know. So, we invited the entire gang, for a series of sleepover study groups. It saves running over to Ryoga's house, and your mom is kept busy watching Ranma get chased because of something perverted that I didn't do, but got blamed for. Costs are kept down by making everyone fix what they break. We felt it was all kind of necessary. Everyone at school will assume we're chaperoned. Those who know us well enough to know Nodoka, also know that Ryoga and Mousse will interfere in anything perverted. It's been weird, but it worked. Ukyo is disgusted. She never had time to watch animé, but Akane and Shampoo tape and watch _that show _for viewing after homework. Now, I think Ukyo is hooked and she doesn't even have a TV or VCR, yet._

_Ukyo looks like she might be getting back in the mix. It's possible that she's picking up on the fact that Akane simply can't treat me the way she treats you. Emotionally, I mean. Ukyo strikes me as pretty perceptive and she may think that something has soured the relationship between you two, leaving her some hope. I have no idea how to prevent this, but it's a work in progress. Shampoo and Kodachi are about the same, except that Shampoo is actually beginning to pick up grammatical Japanese. Too-too scary!_

_Ki techniques: I scared the hell out of your dad with something I called the 'Spiritual Annihilator'. It's a big ball of charged static electricity aligned to a person's ki signature. It's impressive as hell, but won't do more than make every hair on his body stand on end if it caught him. Picture him in panda-form with every hair at right angles to his body! Nothing new, but I had it chase him up Mt. Fuji after Soun and Kasumi. He was prowling around here with a video camera, even had holes drilled into the ceiling in Akane's room and the spare room. Would have been useless anyway, but rather annoying to be spied on like that. Akane learned our ki-radio. You won't have to put up with that anymore since she can do it for herself. She also has a more effective version of the Mouko Takabisha. I'm practicing it myself; and hope it will also become part of your arsenal. Don't fuss at her! She needs your support to continue to grow, and she is your student as well as someone you love. I hope you read this before you sound off in your usual 'I'm better' mode, because you'll kill that love if you don't consider her achievements to be as valuable and creditable as your own. It occurs to me suddenly, that you actually competed with her over chest size in girl form! You're a guy! Why the hell did it matter whose boobs were bigger? She's also working at something I can't predict how it will turn out. She thinks she can so narrowly focus the ki-vision that it can act like a pointer for an individual over long distances, sort of like a homing beacon. I'm not discouraging her. It should be interesting…_

_Someone's entered the compound. I'll get back to this later._

"We're home!" caroled Kasumi, slipping the sturdy walking shoes from her feet at the entryway. "Mmmmm! Something smells good." Beside her Soun wearily discarded his own footgear. Though he normally went barefoot, he quickly discovered that his feet had grown soft from being housebound. He resolved to rectify the matter …after he returned. Just now, all he wanted was to sit down, have some supper and rest his swollen, aching feet.

"Afternoon, Kasumi!" Barry skipped down the steps. "Uh, did Pops catch up with ya?"

"Why, yes," answered Soun, gingerly stepping into the hallway. "I had thought… but he returned quickly enough, he probably…" Soun eyed Barry thoughtfully. "He was around here Monday, wasn't he?"

"Only long enough to see my newest move," Barry said grinning. "Then he decided that Fuji was a much better choice of venue."

"So that's why he's sneaking in the back door. Saotome, you coward! I thought I…" Soun saw Genma inch backward out of the kitchen and around the corner, obviously more concerned by what he found in there than anything his friend might say or do. He turned and almost ran into Soun. His face was more strained than it had been with that huge ki-ball chasing him.

"Genma," Soun barked. "What's wrong?"

"Akane… kitchen… must get away!" Genma's voice was redolent with terror.

Barry stifled a grin as the three all went still with dread. Kasumi's hand trailed up to her mouth. "She's in my kitchen ...alone?" Akane's oldest sister whispered.

"Relax, 'Sumi. She's been practicin'. I haven't heard any the usual screamin' or 'kill the cuttin'-board practice'. I can't guarantee that she's gotten all the proportions or ingredients right, but ya know she's been gettin' better in that department."

"Still," ventured Ranma's father. "Perhaps it would be wisest if the rest of us went out for dinner." He suddenly noticed Nodoka and froze.

"I don't think that's necessary," an icy voice came from the kitchen. "I accidentally made enough for everybody." Akane stood there, hands on hips, a wooden spoon in one hand and an aggravated expression clouding her face.

"Akane, doesn't stir-fry need to be watched rather closely?" suggested Barry with a bit of irritation in his voice. She darted back into the kitchen. He turned back to the others.

"That solves the quantity problem. Tell ya what. I taste. If I keel over, ya can go out for dinner. If it's edible, ya stay and ya offer her some deserved compliments." His eyes narrowed. "Deal?"

Kasumi brightened with his words and the fact that Nodoka seemed unconcerned. "Provided you help clean the kitchen, Ranma, certainly," she offered, sweeping in to sit with expectation at the table. The fathers, with simultaneous looks of despair, joined her.

Barry set the table, refusing Kasumi's offer to help, intending to make her feel like a guest, for a change. He could tell that Genma's mouth was getting dry, so he slid into the kitchen to get more tea and saw Akane furiously tossing the stir-fry around the shallow cook pan, her shoulders tense and her stance like she was about to fight. He sighed. Now that her family was home, she was trying too hard again.

He sang softly words from a popular tune he had come to like: "_What are you doing? What are you looking for? Are they the same thing?" _

As he had hoped, the song was less startling than words, catching her attention and bringing her back to focus. "Relax! They're out there waiting. Don't overcook it." He held up the pot of tea and added, "On and moving, or off the flame, tomboy." She jerked it away from the burner.

"I just want it to be…"

"Heh! I used to have trouble that way with tests in school. I'd try so hard, I'd drive the information I studied right out of my mind. It's not the end of the world, Akane. If it's edible, and I trust ya enough that I know it should be _that _at least, they'll be happy. We'll let you earn yer black belt in cooking in easy stages."

Akane sighed. "I'll never…"

"Never say never," Barry told her. "Never give up; never say 'this is the end'. It's always a new beginning or a new path. Mistakes eliminate bad choices," he chuckled, "provided we survive them."

Akane cringed and looked at the food in the pan. "You think I…"

"If I thought it was lethal, I wouldn't do this." Lifting the wooden spoon from the counter, he flipped a mouthful of her concoction into his mouth. For Akane, time seemed to slow down. He chewed first one side then the other, a faint frown creasing his brow. He swallowed. He stood there still looking distant.

"Is it bad?" she asked in a tiny voice.

"It's not Kasumi; but it's on par with my wife's," he whispered. "It'll pass."

Akane suddenly beamed, then swung into despair, then smiled again, if sadly. Barry sighed. You didn't need to be a mind reader to understand what she was thinking. "Go out and make your family proud, Akane. You can freak out Ranma when he gets back."

She straightened and nodded. Barry left the kitchen ahead of her with the tea. Akane moved out more confidently, face calm for the moment. The mask slipped a little at the open fear on Genma's face and her father's sudden nervous smile. Steeling herself, she began to serve, noticing that Kasumi and Nodoka at least seemed unconcerned. Barry politely poured the tea.

Then they sat down. Akane looked at everyone else at the table. They were watching the pigtailed martial artist, who deliberately hesitated, fiddled as if delaying the inevitable and then dug in at full Ranma speed. Genma paled.

"Son, have a care…"

"Ith fi', Pops! Tlide ith ina kitchthen!" he mumbled around his mouthful.

Kasumi paused, with her chopsticks in her mouth, then smiled. "Very good, Akane. You should be proud."

Soun tasted his serving and burst into tears. "Her cooking is cured! O, _gods_…!" He began to weep copiously. Nodoka nodded her approval to Akane and then excused herself for a moment.

"Ain'tcha gonna try yours, Pops?" Barry asked Ranma's dad as Nodoka excused herself. "By the way, glad ta see ya back in one unburned piece. It didn't catch ya then?"

Genma began to tremble, but restrained himself until his wife was safely out of hearing before suddenly bursting into tears. They stared at him astonished. "Oh I'm so sorry, son!" he blubbered. He suddenly had Barry in a headlock. "How I've abused you all these years! (Sob!)"

Barry struggled till he had forced Genma's arms down around his waist. "Pops! What's wrong with you?" He grunted as the man's powerful arms crushed in, cutting off his air. "PO-ops!"

"It caught me in the foothills. I thought I had lost it and sat down to rest a moment; I'm not as young as I used to be," he sobbed. "It came right through a house and _caught _me!"

"Oh, man!" Barry had thought that, like the ki-ribbons, once someone stopped considering it, it would fade away, the effect being largely psychosomatic in origin. Genma must have managed to talk himself into believing it would catch him, so of course it did.

"I burned! It was horrible! I was forced to remember every evil deed in my past. Every sin I ever committed or caused to happen through my stupidity, greed and sloth." He sobbed into Barry's shirt. "The dozen or so fiancées that have yet to appear weigh heavily on my soul! Natsume and Kurumi! I admit it! It's all my fault!"

"Jeez, Pops; calm down! It was fake, already," he shouted, wrenching at the arms. "It was just a big ball of static electricity that I tagged to yer ki! All it could do was shock ya a little. Ya were creepin' me out, sneakin' around with that video camera…"

"…really did read that page in the neko…" Genma stopped wailing and looked up into the face of Ranma. "It was fake?"

"Ya really are too easy, Pops."

"It was just a ball of… _RRAANNMMAA_!"

"Aw, shit!" Barry felt Genma's arms tighten, and powered up and over the table. There was no way he was going to let Genma's tantrum ruin Akane's dinner. They rolled out the door, across the yard and into the rebuilt _koi_ pond. "Pops! Watch it! We just got this fixed," screeched the higher pitched girl-type voice.

The Tendos ate their meal in relative peace, if you can call front row seats at a battle between a redhead girl and a panda peaceful. It was standard fare at the Tendo's; and to Soun, Ranma seemed to be keeping Genma away from the more fragile plantings. Interesting… He had always known Genma was imaginative. Apparently, it worked to his disadvantage this time, causing him to believe he had undergone some sort of conversion, confessing all those misdeeds. So, there were at least a dozen more girls who might or might not try to become Ranma's fiancée; that was about what he had expected. Natsume and Kurumi, the two girls who had claimed to be his own daughters and challenged Akane for the dojo... Now, that was interesting! How could they be Genma's fault? The only way they could be Genma's fault was if...? Wait a minute! The missing martial artist father...? Genma!

"Ranma, son! Let me help you, boy!" Soun charged out into the garden, leaving a boggling Akane and a calm Kasumi to finish their meal. Akane began to bang her head on the tabletop.

"Now, now, Akane-chan. It is very good," Kasumi said cheerfully. "I'm proud of you. Uncle Saotome is simply missing out on a treat. I knew you could do it, Akane." Akane stared at her older sister. "And won't Auntie Nodoka be surprised to learn she has two new daughters to train!"

Suddenly, Akane got the most horrible, nasty, evil grin. For Genma, it was truly going to be payback time!

Kasumi edged nervously away from her leering sister. Akane and Ranma had both been acting so strange lately. Perhaps the strain of the past two years was catching up with them. It would be a shame after all they'd been through.

Nodoka returned and looked disapprovingly at the squabble in the garden.

Akane recovered, glanced at Nodoka and smiled cheerfully at Kasumi. "Thank you, oneechan. That's a wonderful idea." She walked to the open shoji and leaned out.

"Ranma! Why don't you come and tell Auntie Nodoka about your 'Spiritual Annihilator' technique? I'm sure she'll find it interesting."

The fight froze into a tableau. Barry blinked at her. He had caught Genma's reference, but Ranma would hardly want those two maniacs back, honor or not! Soun grinned as evilly as Akane had. It was plain at that moment, had Akane been dipped in the pool of the drowned man, who she would resemble. Genma, evident even through the fur, went white as a sheet and fainted. Barry rose to her feet and considered the comatose panda.

"Sorry, Mr. Tendo; I'll understand if ya want us..."

"No, no, boy!" Soun actually laughed. "It's only what you'd expect from Genma. It's always a joy when one of his deeds comes back to haunt him." Soun glanced at the redhead. "With the exception of the fiancée mess, of course." He looked back at Genma and sighed happily. "I can't entirely blame him, really. Happosai was a terrible influence."

"Mom's gonna have to know, though," sighed Barry quietly to Soun. He'd hate to think of what his own mother would have thought had his father done something like this. Of course his mother wasn't a _Genji_ fan like Nodoka was.

"This is on Genma's head, Ranma," Soun decided, quietly. "It's only fair that he tell his wife of his responsibilities."

)Oh, thank you, Tendo, thank you!( Genma-panda was suddenly conscious and kissing Soun's feet while waving one of his signs. The latter stumbled back and looked annoyed. Panda slobber, and his feet were still sore.

"I should have known you were faking it, you reprobate!" A strong delicate fist suddenly grabbed the grinning panda and Genma went eye to eye with Barry. "Ya did it again, old man. Ya coulda cleared this up back when they showed up, but ya had ta put us all through that whole mess." Barry's quiet voice was filled with disgust for Genma. "You listen to me real good. Ya'd better look real hard for yer sense o' honor. Ya better make amends. I'd hate ta have ta disown my own father and leave him out in the cold in his old age... or _worse_." Genma was suddenly dealing with the expression on his son's face that already cowed Happosai.

)You wouldn't...( The sign swiveled up, only to be shredded by the subtle claws of the Nekoken. The remains fluttered to the ground.

"I ain't talkin' seppuku, neither. Maybe ya can't fix everything, but I would like to have a father I can admire, not just honor." With a heave, Barry set the panda on his feet. "Now get to the bath and change back. I expect ya to be at that table with Mom in five minutes, as a human, and enjoying the meal Akane fixed."

Genma-panda shivered, looked back at the table, his wife and Akane and shivered again. Disconsolately, he shuffled off to the bath.

"Well... I guess I better get cleaned up and changed, too." Barry looked down at her body and the wet, muddy clothes. She looked up at Akane and sighed. That girl's face was unreadable. "Sorry, Akane." The redhead also shuffled around to the _dojo _entrance to the bathroom.

Dinner was finally eaten, though not without further surprises.

_**Journal: Ranma's Guest/ Thursday, 12 September 1991-amended**._

_Well, Ranma, it seems you have half-sisters. Apparently my ki-ball caught up with your dad, and in typical Genma cussedness, he decided that the only reason he survived was through a conversion. I almost wish I hadn't told him the truth. He blurted out some stuff. You still have some extra fiancées wandering around, and those two girls, who claimed to be Soun's daughters, are actually your dad's. I really don't know what to think of that, myself, and am sure you are only going to experience more hell because of it. Somehow though, I think your mother would be up to the new challenge of civilizing those two. After the initial _fratching_ (Sorry, English and slang at that, but I can't think of a better word) I think they'll love your mom and may try to steal her from you. Akane did a great job with a stir-fry, though I did have to remind her to stay un-distracted. _

_Soun's trip up Mt. Fuji was not uneventful. You… we are not the only ones to get caught in these messes. First, they had to deal with the park rangers in the preserve. These people are always looking out for people who try to steal things from the mountain and the group Kasumi and Tendo encountered was carrying clubs. If you believe Papa Tendo, big clubs! Then Taro blundered by raising havoc chasing Happosai, though Soun didn't see him. That dispersed the rangers, who thoughtfully decided that fighting monsters wasn't in their job description. When Soun placed the stone back where it belonged, a kami appeared. The kami was smacking Soun around for taking the stone in the first place, but desisted when Kasumi asked him not to. According to oneechan, the kami first wanted something from her (You can guess what!), but said something about her being under the protection of a greater spirit. It was going to beat up Soun some more, but desisted when Kasumi physically stepped in the way. It, of course, vowed revenge if Tendo or any of his blood wandered its way again. If it was me, personally, I'd do something about this now. No need for your grandkids to get zapped by a grumpy _leprechaun_ because of something Soun did. _

_Anyway, the park police, now that Taro was gone, caught up with them and threatened to beat Soun for stealing; until Kasumi bawled them out for being so mean. She admitted that her father might have been wild in his youth, but assured them that he was an upstanding citizen of Nerima now, and would never consider stealing anything from the mountain. They were properly chastened, you can imagine. A ferocious Kasumi may not be dangerous to the body, but the soul shrivels under her disapproval. _

_Akane beat me in sparring by the way, fair and square this time, not because I was trying to not hurt her. _

_The gang showed up then, (notice they came after dinner?) and though the family's back, stuck around for the ki training. Mousse is quite promising. He finally figured out what I meant about the ki ribbons. I'm trying to get Ryoga to stop using depression as a source for his ki techniques. It's powerful, but the more we read about how emotions and projected techniques are related, the more I worry. _

_I've started Akane on ping-pong-ing her ki attack, altering the signature to attract or repel the blast. Note in point: As we found out at the lake, we normally repel the ki blast from us. It can be dodged. If we align the ki signature of the blast to the target, the target will be hit, provided the target does not take the blast out of our control and send it back at us. Like the ribbon, once you start aligning it to someone else's ki they share its control. If they expect it to hit, or cling or whatever, it will. If they decide it shouldn't, you can be on the receiving end of a very dangerous backlash, so watch it!_

_Akane seems to have reached a plateau in her regular training. It's probably due to my inability to really teach her the Art the way you could. Her ki techniques are still expanding, though. Please, please, PLEASE, be nice to her and listen if she needs to get you up to speed on some of these things. I don't know whether things I learn will transfer, but ki techniques continue to improve for both of us._

_We will get you back._


	30. Right to Assembly

**Guest Ki: Chapter 29**

_**Right to Assembly**_

Barry's morning schedule was thrown off at the Saotome's by Genma's truly disgusting attempt to bribe him into keeping his mouth shut. Arms wrapped around Ranma's left leg, he was a heavy burden indeed to drag to the front door. Open aggression defused by the pitiful whining and pleas, Barry finally turned and acknowledged the man's existence.

"Pops, let me make sure I understand you. You want to me to take five hundred yen to keep my mouth shut around Mom?"

The senior Saotome shivered but nodded, as he flinched from the look he had seen in his son's eyes. "Your mother will kill me!" Genma groveled and his eyes darted from side to side. He intercepted his son at the gate after having spent an obviously extremely uncomfortable night wondering what to do about the latest revelations.

"Maybe. Considering what you've done, you deserve it." Barry glanced at his watch. "Look, I can't waste time on this right now; I'm gonna be late for school. Pull yerself together. Mom is no slouch, she probably already knows that something is up."

"We kept our curses from her for almost two years…"

"Ha!" Barry scoffed. "You'd like ta think that, wouldn't ya?" He crouched down to come eye level with Genma.

"As I understand it, she never visited the Tendo's in the ten years since we walked out on her. Then boom! She's around all the time. Now ask yerself; why was she so determined to look after Ranko? Why did Mr. Panda _always_ getAkane's screwed up dinners? How many times did we barely change in time and not get caught?" Barry took a breath. "I think she was a lot more aware than you think she was."

"But why?" Genma was flummoxed. Taken as a whole it did seem unlikely.

"Keep guessin', old man. I hope it keeps ya warm on cold nights." Barry jumped over Genma to greet Ranma's mother before beginning the daily routine. Ranma's father continued to be a sore spot for him... at least partially because he superficially reminded Barry of his own father, and it really roasted him to watch him do this to Nodoka.

Barry should have realized that Principal Kuno had really meant something by the remark about the assembly.

"Over here, Ranchan!" From somewhere in the crowd, Ukyo's voice rang out.

Barry pushed between the milling students and saw that the girls arranged to save a seat for him near the front. They were standing, waving at him to make sure they had his attention. Ryoga, clueless as usual, was standing beside Ukyo looking around. If he read the lost-boy's lips correctly, he had just asked her whom they were waving at. The twist and bob of Ukyo's head clearly said 'Jackass!' He gathered himself and leaped. There was a quick shuffle as they tried to fight for position without seeming to, ending with him ensconced between Shampoo and Kodachi.

He was _thrilled _— not! The only bonus to the situation was that Akane was beside Shampoo and, due to their tentative friendship, would avoid open combat. Ukyo was beside Kodachi. Ucchan knew Ranma's opinion of the Black Rose all too well. If Kodachi didn't try to drug him, everything would be fine.

On the stage, folding chairs waited for speakers. The podium at the front was off center and a line with a ring hung down from the shadows above the lights. Obviously Principal Kuno was up to no good. Miss Hinako and Mrs. Morisato came out on stage then, the former moving to the podium and its microphone, while Mrs. Morisato sat down at one end of the row of chairs.

Hinako vanished behind the podium. Laughter came from the back rows. Barry could tell what was happening. The tiny teacher was jumping up and down behind the podium trying to grab hold of the microphone and bring it down where she could use it. Finally, she walked stiff-legged back to the chairs and snagged one, dragging it over to use as a stepping stool.

"You realize," she said from the chair's seat, "I could do this another way." She held out a coin. There was immediate silence.

"That's better," she declared, giggling. "All right, children, this assembly is called for the duly elected class officers to set policy for their departments and say a few words about how they feel their administration will affect all of you this coming school year." She waved her hand to silence the noisy speculation that broke out. "But first a word from the head of our scholastic family, Principal Kuno." She jumped off the chair and dragged it back to its place amid jeers and groans.

"Aloha, Eve-ry-bo-dy! Dis is gwona be a special year, yes it is! Lotsa fun t'ings fo' all you keiki an' wahini." He strummed his ukulele and danced a weird, knee-flapping, crab-like moonwalk, before leaping back to the microphone.

"Yo, Principal Kuno! Yer tree's flappin' in the breeze, man!" Barry called out.

The Hawaiian Fruitcake frowned. "You betta watch yo step, keiki! My tree is jus' fine where it is!" He patted his head.

"That's not the one I meant!" Barry bellowed back, making sure he was heard in the entire auditorium.

"Wa…?" Kuno looked down; then, tight-lipped, adjusted his clothing amidst the laughter of the room.

Barry sat back again, satisfied in the result. Arms folded to prevent the girls on either side from snuggling into him, he waited to see what Kuno would come up with. Based on Ranma's past experience, it would be calculated to infuriate the entire student body.

"Urrr!" Kuno growled around the mike, which he placed in his teeth while he was preoccupied. Finally he was ready to start again. "Firs' tings, first! Startin' in the spring semester, we be havin' mandatory surfing as part of the gymnastics curriculum. De pool, she be getting' one big face lift ova de winter and be a full, honest to injun, wave pool in time fo' de classes."

Barry yawned. Ranma would probably enjoy this, so there had to be some catch involved. He just didn't see what it was right off. He bided his time, sure that something unpleasant, or simply downright ridiculous, was coming.

"As part of de Biology department's 'Living Planet' experiments, de pool will be also a fully-stocked salt water aquarium to add to de fun…"

"That means a coral reef, sharks, stone fish, maybe a giant Pacific octopus or giant squid, poisonous sea snakes…" muttered Barry to himself, appalled. "Baka!"

"What you say, Ranma?" asked Shampoo.

"I didn't realize you could follow Daddy's twisted mind, darling," Kodachi said happily from her spot. "I have to admit, I've even seen the purchase orders with many of the items you mentioned."

"That's just great," Barry scowled. This meant extensive entries in the journal that Ranma might simply ignore. He'd have to put all sorts of danger signals around this one.

"De band is too lame. We be getting ukuleles jus' like dis one fo' de band and have some real fun! De theatre be performing de classic 'South Pacific' for de fall presentation..."

People of musical and theatrical talent groaned and began throwing wads of paper.

"... an' now, I proudly introduce the brand spankin' new school uniforms!" He jerked on the string and a framework dropped down. "Cabana sets for de keiki an' de pu-uas for de wahini! All in de new Furinkan colors: turquoise an' orange." There was a moment of irreverent silence. Cabana sets would of course turn the guys into kahuna-clones. The pu-uas...

A pu-ua is like a sarong that wraps around the waist and is worn with a matching breastband. At least that's what was shown. Barry knew the breastband was a modern contrivance. At least, they weren't grass skirts and leis. Shampoo probably wouldn't mind as she didn't use a bra, anyway, but most of the other girls were beginning to get upset. For some reason, he could hear comments mixed in with mentions of a certain pigtailed martial artist. Barry was eyeing the offering. No way was he wearing that suit! Its colors were almost deadly to the eye. He didn't think there was any girl in the school who would look good in those colors, either.

"There be a dance scheduled for the end of the year. A real luau, yeah! We have Hawaiian pig roast an' fire-walkin' an…"

Down the row, Ryoga shuddered. How the hell was he supposed to surf? The mention of the pig-roast didn't help either. He had nearly been one, too often. He felt a pat on his arm and looked over. His heart nearly stopped. Ukyo was, was...

Ukyo smiled at Ryoga reassuringly. She had missed out on sitting next to Ranma because of concern that Ryoga would get lost when trouble happened, as it inevitably did when Principal Kuno was involved. Kodachi wasn't much of a threat, provided she kept her damn drugs out of it, and Ranma had shown a clear ability to detect that kind of action these days. Ryoga needed her more than her fiancé did right now. She tried to imagine how a pig would surf and how it would be graded. The pork roast comment probably didn't help either. Poor Ryoga! She had an idea how he felt.

Ryoga smiled tremulously. Ukyo certainly earned Ranma's nickname for her. Ukyo looked away, a blush on her cheeks. Damn! Ryoga could be cute. His smile was actually better some ways than Ranma's.

"Oh! By an' by, de costume fo' de dance is traditional luau gear only." Kuno yanked his string again and a grass skirt dropped down.

Barry sighed, surged to his feet and jumped up onto the arms of his seat. "You Pineapple Wacko!" he said loudly but calmly into the silence his move caused. "No one's gonna put up with this nonsense, so why push it? What's with you? Isn't 'South Pacific' a show about American sailors during the War?" There was a sudden surge in sound; most of the students hadn't known that. "I hope yer not intendin' that that silly skirt is all the students are supposed to wear to the dance." More noise, higher pitched, added to the grumble. Suddenly, Principal Kuno was being seen as a pervert; even Hinako was frowning.

"There be de traditional leis," Kuno began with a leer, holding one up for inspection. "You can hide a lot among de flowers."

"The girls ain't gonna put up with yer nonsense, man," reiterated Barry. Behind him, he heard Hiroshi and Daisuke muttering to one another.

"Shampoo in a grass skirt, a lei and a smile... Oh, _man_!" They were immediately pummeled by several girls, while Shampoo turned around and asked, "Pervert-boys know what 'wedgie' mean?" They swallowed and subsided. Barry couldn't help bringing one hand up to his face and rubbing his forehead in aggravation.

"Oh! I almost forget! De keiki an' wahini who don't have de approved haircuts as ordered in last year's rule book, dey must wear one o' deez fine headpieces, yah!" He held in one hand a miniature palm tree, much like his own. In the other he held a pineapple.

It was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Get him!"

The auditorium's occupants rose up to teach the goofball a lesson in rational thought. Miss Hinako looked at the throng, gulped and leaped to the front of the stage. Mrs. Morisato rose and followed in support. The two women looked woefully inadequate to dealing with the riotous mass of humanity.

"Stop right there! Stay back now! Rioting is delinquent and delinquents must be punished!" The students ignored her. "Happo-go-ju-en-satsu!"

The fiancées and, because of Ukyo's hand, Ryoga ducked while the first rank of students went sleepy-by. "Where's Ranma?" exclaimed Kodachi.

(KA-BLAM!)

"_AAALLLOOO-HHHAAAaaa_...!"

"Never mind."

The two teachers whirled around at the sound of the new threat, only to see Ranma, leaning calmly against the podium, with an air of innocence. There was no sign of Principal Kuno anywhere.

"Uh... I think the principal has stepped out for a moment," he said brightly.

The students, the focus of their anger removed, milled uncertainly about. Miss Hinako, tall and lusciously curved, straightened and looked suspicious. "Mr. Saotome," she drawled, "you aren't being delinquent, are you?"

Barry boggled a little at Hinako-adult. She was nearly six feet tall. Only a model's figure allowed her to transform yet remain decently (if skimpily) covered. "Ummm... Of course not, teach! Actually, I'm helpin' out!"

"Really..." She glanced back briefly to see Mrs. Morisato moving up behind her. "And how is that?"

"Well, ya don't want the students ta be delinquent, right?"

"Right."

"And anything that riles up the students ta act delinquent, IS delinquent, right?"

Miss Hinako put away her coin and smiled. She could see where this was going. Besides, Ranma had been very nice lately. She really didn't want to drain him. "Right," she replied.

Barry walked over to the items the principal had used as visual aids and looked back at the two teachers. "I thought I'd just get rid of all this delinquent inspirin' stuff and everybody would be happy."

They nodded silently. Mrs. Morisato smiled. "By all means, Mr. Saotome."

Barry grinned and launched the visual aids through the same hole Kuno had made when he punted him off the stage. The auditorium swelled with cheers, to which he bowed solemnly, before grinning and bouncing back to his seat.

Outside, at the top of a tree, hung a battered cabana-clad form. A lone flip-flop hung from a foot and a tiny palm tree's fronds swayed in the breeze. Caught by the seat of his shorts, Principal Kuno stared at the ground far below and sweated. Gingerly, he tried to grab the branch that held him.

"Dat one bad keiki, yah!" he grumbled. His efforts were shortly rewarded and he swung free and stood on a lower branch, looking like a cross between Tarzan and a beach bum. "De big kahuna RULES!" he bellowed, punching at the sky.

At that moment, the visual aids rained down, punching him out of the tree.

"AAAooo!" (WUMP!) Kuno was introduced to the ground. "Wipe out... owie!"

Miss Hinako stepped up to the microphone and spoke with tones that thrilled every male in the audience. "If everyone could be seated? Oh, and please catch your friends if they seem to be drifting around, would you?" Her eyes widened and she quickly caught the microphone from the stand. Suddenly she shrank to her pre-teen version.

"This gets to be annoying," she commented in a weird heterodyne as she shrank. "All right, all you boys and girls, now that the principal's part is over, we get to let you take over. Will all duly elected officers take the stage?"

Here and there, students rose and advanced on the stage using the stairs to the left and right hand sides. Barry recognized Sayuri, one of Akane's friends, and Kogara. A young man he thought was named Hiroko stepped up, as well as three other students he didn't remember the names of. After they sat down, there were two seats still vacant, one in the center of the line and one at the far end. Miss Hinako looked along the line, then back out to the audience. She shaded her eyes against the glare of the lights.

"Will Ranma Saotome please step up here?"

Barry jerked. What did she want, now? With a sigh, he rose to his feet and launched himself up to the stage. Miss Hinako squeaked, as he seemed to appear out of the lights. He caught her arm to steady her and apologized softly.

"Well... All right, but please use the normal way, next time? You're almost as bad as Shampoo was about doors!"

"Wadja want, Miss H?"

She stared at him, blankly then giggled. "Don't tell me that no one told you?"

"Told me what?" He was confused, but a feeling of dread began to prickle at his short hairs. She motioned him down and whispered hurriedly in his ear.

Only Kodachi seemed unaffected among the fiancées. She examined her makeup in a small compact and touched up her lipstick. The other girls watched Ranma and Miss Hinako with mounting curiosity. Ryoga just yawned. Barry was as adept at getting into trouble as Ranma. This was same old, same old to him.

"They did _what_?"

Three girls and a boy jumped. They watched the pigtailed boy straighten in shock and take a step back. Miss Hinako giggled again, nodded and handed him the microphone. Twirling away, she skipped to her chair and took her seat with an air of expectation. Ranma looked at the mike, the audience, the students and faculty on the stage and shook his head ruefully. Someone was going to pay for this.

He raised the mike to his face. "Excuse me, everybody. There will be a slight delay in the program." He turned on his heel and stalked back to the line of chairs.

"What going on, Akane," asked Shampoo. When she was perturbed her grammar tended to revert.

"How should I know?" They looked over to where Kodachi was sitting, a smug smile on her face. "Uh-oh!"

Ukyo and Ryoga had come to the same conclusion. "This looks bad," the former said. "I'm not sure what's coming, but if 'Rosie' knows and looks happy...?" She shuddered. They watched as Ranma spoke briefly with Hinako, then with each of the other students on the stage, all the while taking notes on a small pad he had borrowed from Mrs. Morisato. When he was finished, he tore off the notes, handed back the pad and stepped up to the microphone.

"I am," he said, "continuously surprised by Furinkan High. When I came here, it was from a trainin' trip that lasted ten years. Durin' that time, I worked ta perfect my Art, but sorta skipped the people skills. The last two years have been, uh... educational." He was interrupted by a ripple of laughter.

"Anyway, I tend ta miss a lota school, what with one thing or another, curses, trainin' trips, kidnappings, challenges, fiancée trouble... You know, what's normal for me!" There was another wave of laughter and a few groans. "Apparently, I missed more than a couple o' weeks homework, this time. I'm kinda curious, whatever possessed you people ta think I'd make a good Student Council President?"

Out in the audience, Kodachi could not restrain herself. She burst into laughter and everyone within a dozen yards of her wished they were back in their classrooms, tied to their chairs with steel hooks being dragged across the blackboards.

"The last person ta hold this title abused the office more than a bit," Barry went on, noting the laughter and assessing that Kodachi had a hand in this. "I don't plan to, save for one tiny little matter, which I'll get to after the other class officers who unlike myself had time to prepare for this moment, have had their say."

Akane, Shampoo, Ukyo and Ryoga gaped at Barry/Ranma. Kodachi laughed again and said in a satisfied tone, "At last, my darling is taking responsibilities that fit his abilities and stature."

Akane was appalled. '_Kami_! Not _another _delay!'

Ryoga grimaced. Barry's experience might make him an effective council officer, but it would highlight areas where Ranma and Barry were very different. He had noticed that Ranma's guest had Ranma's mannerisms down pat, and even shared basic philosophical values; but different things were important to the men. And that was where Barry's act was going to fall apart.

Ukyo frowned. Were her classmates nuts? She thought Ranma was probably the nicest man and the strongest martial artist in the world. But elect him to a post of responsibility?

"First I'd like to introduce Kogara Daibunmasatsu, our kendo team captain and Activities Director." Barry looked back at that individual, who sat stiffly in his seat. "Daibunmasatsu-san?" He waved him to the microphone.

Kogara walked stiffly past Barry and seemed surprised that the other man did not criticize, belittle or otherwise attempt to make him look foolish. Gaining confidence, he stepped to the podium and began his report.

Barry sat down next to Sayuri and leaned over to ask her some questions. It was obvious he was keeping his attention on Kogara however. She looked surprised and answered back succinctly. He straightened and sat, leaning back insolently, looking more like a king on a throne than a student. Barry grinned to himself. The effect was quite deliberate. When it came time for him to speak, he wanted his audience defensive and bothered.

One by one, the officers were introduced politely and thanked by Barry after they finished. Finally, everyone had spoken, and it was his turn again.

"I'm going toss out an idea that some of ya are gonna hate like fury. When I returned from this last trip, I found that Shampoo was being... _annoyed_, the same way Akane was when I first arrived at Furinkan.Ya may not know it, but I still haven't forgotten or forgiven that bit of nonsense." He shifted. "Here's the idea: We're more than halfway through September. So, starting the first school day of October and running through to the last school day of that month, we're gonna have Amazon Culture Month." There was immediate uproar from the audience. Barry patiently waited out the student's cacophony.

Shampoo sat stunned in her seat. Ranma had said something of the sort when those boys first annoyed her, but she never thought he do anything about it. She glanced at Akane and was surprised by what she did not see. Akane looked thoughtful, not jealous or angry. In fact, the other girl met her eye directly and gave her a smile. Shocked to her core, she looked up at Ranma who seemed to be lounging insolently on the podium. Every atom of her was suddenly shocked, angered and appalled by his body language. Shampoo realized that, among other solutions, he might provoke the student body to recall his election. How typical of Ranma to avoid responsibility!

The noise finally calmed down enough to where Barry could speak again. He nodded to his audience, projecting a sort of condescending approval.

"What Amazon Month would involve would be we students at Furinkan living, as a community, under the same rules Shampoo and her people live under at home. Some of you guys want to get to know Shampoo? Here's yer chance. You gals think the guys have all the breaks? Here's your chance. Let's see what happens if, for one month, we play the game by different rules.

"Shampoo? Could you come up here?" Trembling, Shampoo rose to her feet. He wanted her to go up there? "Make no mistake, guys," Ranma was saying, "Don't think that Shampoo is some bimbo because she talks and acts differently. She's a class act." He waved her up.

Flushing at the rare compliment and summoning every ounce of courage her ancestors could bequeath her, she leaped up to the stage beside Ranma. "What you want I do, Ranma," she asked in a small voice.

"Easy, Amazon. I want two things. One — I want an honest assessment, based on the two years you've been here, of what the major differences are between your people and mine. Two — If they go for it, I want Granny ta get me a Joketsuzoku rulebook that we can use as a guide for this thing. Can do?"

"Yes," she answered a little breathlessly. She opened her mouth to tell him what he needed to know, but he indicated the audience. She stared appalled. "You want _me_..." she squeaked.

"Shampoo, yer heir to a long, proud tradition of leadership. Consider it a test run." She swallowed as he smiled. "You can do it, I have faith in you," he added.

Shampoo turned to the audience, which went silent. Her chin came up. Her eyes flashed. She smiled as she felt her audience's mood. "I am Xian Pu, of the Joketsuzoku of the Bayan Hara Shan. I train to be a leader of my people and wish to speak of the laws and ways my people use to live in harmony with one another. Among my people, the woman takes the dominant role. Though we bear the children, men teach and rear them, and care for the house and family belongings." She took a breath. "The reasons we do this are very old. Centuries ago, women, abused by men, learned the arts of war and drove the men from them, only allowing such men as were strong, to stay among them long enough to sire children for their people's future.

"We marry and are faithful to our husbands under laws that have existed for more than a thousand year." She grimaced and lost a little of her fluency temporarily. "You know us from Shampoo chasing Ranma. This very unusual and special problem; I cannot explain all right now." She bobbed in apology, changing from a dramatic, exotic warrior to nervous teenager and back again in a heartbeat. "Among Joketsuzoku, women, by custom, choose who we date. Women make... all the moves. Men try to attract women by quality of home and craftsmanship of tools and furnishings. Dating not done like Japan. We only... not long ago, get movie, TV, still new. Only few meeting place like restaurant. Usually, if woman interested in man and they go out, it woman's treat. Boys not respected as much, but more approachable. If man defeat woman inside of tribe it mean nothing, but often impress woman and influence decision to marry."

Barry broke in. "That's where I made my mistake. I should have gotten adopted by the tribe, then when I beat Shampoo she would have said, 'What you do that for, you goof!', smacked me around a little and gotten on with her life."

"You goof!" Shampoo smacked him. "You say try Amazon way. Man no interrupt woman in important talk! You get your turn later!"

There was a ripple of laughter.

"If try ways of Joketsuzoku, understand. No mean can date Shampoo." She sighed, glared at Ranma, then clarified: "It does not mean you may hope to date me. Woman set pace, but woman must say how far can go and what she mean. Cannot hide, play tease. It more honest. Besides, man could not tease to save his life!" She laughed with her audience.

Then a guy in the audience stood up and challenged, "What about Saotome? You can just go girl, and this doesn't even affect you!"

Barry stepped forward to answer, only to be waved back by Shampoo.

"Under Joketsuzoku law, Ranma is man no matter what form he be in…he is in," she declared. "He born man, he treated as man; even if he become woman because of water." She looked out at the anonymous figure. "I have curse. I turn into cat. If you don't like cat and know me, and hurt me with stone or kick like bad people do sometime, you claim you only hurt cat? Amazon law try see heart of matter. You try. Maybe you no like, but maybe see what hidden in heart." She scanned the audience then nodded to herself. "Thank you for listening." She stepped back and bowed slightly in the Japanese style to Ranma, then leaped off the stage to a scattered applause that grew loud.

"Thank you Xian Pu." Barry focused his attention on the assembly as a whole. "Well folks, watcha think? Gals, do you have what it takes to be an Amazon? I understand you don't have to be a warrior, even if they have the highest profile. Guys, can you restrain your egos for thirty days to see how the girls' hand plays? I figure it's gotta take guts to try this. Ya up to it?" He looked around and nodded to Sayuri. "Sayuri tells me, if I can get her the information by the middle of next week, it can be printed in the paper before the start of October. So let's put it to a hand vote. How many want to try Amazon Month? Raise your hands." His hand rose. He stepped into the shadows to actually see the hands in the audience.

A veritable sea of hands met his gaze. Down front, the fiancées were united, including Kodachi, in support of the idea. Even as he watched, more hands came up, if reluctantly. He suddenly realized that he was seeing the other side effect of the cultural phenomena of 'the nail that stands up will be hammered down'. The nail that refuses to be hammered down sets the level for all the other nails. Ranma's leadership created the possibility of change. He swallowed, trying to keep as calm a face as he could. Amazon Month. He had a feeling he just might regret this one.

Akane slumped in her seat, her hand high. She couldn't believe she was doing this. She was voting to play by Amazon rules for... for the bimbo! 'Well,' she thought, glancing sidewise at the Amazon, 'she isn't really a bimbo. And she is a nice girl, if you weren't scared to death that she would use some trick, magic or drug to steal your fiancé.' Besides, it would get 'Ranma' off the hook so they could research!

Barry seemed to finish counting the votes.

Shampoo sat, hand high, her eyes darting to either side of her. Akane? Ukyo? Kodachi? She didn't dare look elsewhere for fear of disappointment. That the other fiancées supported her was incomprehensible to her. Weren't they enemies? Honorable and respected enemies perhaps; but they seemed willing to support her in this. She didn't know how to take this. Ranma moved to the front of the stage and his face shadowed and unlit, gazed out over the audience. He stepped back a wry smile on his face. Would he smile if...? He opened his mouth to speak.

"It seems that, come October," Barry said formally, "I will greet you all as fellow Japanese Amazons." He stopped as Shampoo gave forth a single, purely teenage-girl yelp of joy. He chuckled to himself. She didn't know half of it, yet. Now for step two. "I think that a male council president would be ludicrous during that month, and I don't know much Amazon law aside from 'kiss of death' and 'kiss of marriage'." He tilted his head to one side. "Considering that we only have one student here who is an expert, I think it would be wise to consider her for the position."

"Point of order!" called Kogara from behind him.

Barry turned, frowning. He motioned the kendoist to the microphone.

Expectinga verbal or physical attack, Kogara took the podium slowly. "Within our present slate of rules, Mr. Saotome, we need at least two candidates for any position." He glared at Barry defiantly. "Those candidates must be offered from the floor." Barry simply grinned back.

"Okay, _Mr._ Daibunmasatsu." He borrowed the microphone and turned to the audience. "He has a valid point. Though I hadn't thought of it in terms of the constitutional angle."

Ukyo frowned. Something wasn't quite right here.

" Hey, Ranma!" bellowed Ryoga beside her, making her jump. "Since when did you care about government?" Ryoga grimaced. The idiot was going to give himself away at this rate. He was sure Ukyo was getting suspicious.

Barry blinked and thought fast. Damn! He had been slipping! Thank God for Ryoga!

"Hey, it sounded right, didn't it?" he asked defensively. The audience laughed and Ukyo smiled and snorted. Ryoga laughed nervously, not a bad recovery. Hopefully, Barry would be more careful now.

Kogara hung his head in disgust from his position at the podium. This was what beat his own bid for Council President? What a moron!

"Hey, Kogara! Wake up!"

Kogara jerked up to scowl at Ranma, who smirked at him infuriatingly. "What, Saotome?"

"Since ya came up with the idea, do ya have someone in mind? Or ya just gonna stand there?"

"It's inappropriate for an officer to propose a candidate."

"Okay, I guess that leaves me out, too." Barry cupped his hands and bellowed. "Okay, folks! We need a candidate for temporary Council President for the month of October. For this special occasion, please offer girl's names only!"

Akane jumped to her feet. "I nominate Shampoo!" She looked over at her astonished rival and saw Kodachi half out of her seat. Kodachi eyed her and half smiled.

"Much as it pains me to agree with my rival, I must second the nomination," Kodachi drawled. "Shampoo is obviously the only choice, under the circumstances." She lounged back down into her seat.

"Shampoo has been nominated and seconded," Sayuri said, stepping up to the microphone in her capacity as Council Secretary. "We need at least one other nominee."

"I nominate Akane!" Ukyo had jumped to her feet. Even if she was only nominally still in the game and Akane was her rival, she'd rather have Akane as Council President than Shampoo. The bimbo acted like she was royalty, sometimes. At least Akane knew she was just another student. Besides, Akane was the only girl popular enough in the school to compete with 'Miss Kitty'. Several shouts of 'Seconded!' sealed her fate.

"Jeez, Ukyo," complained Akane in a hiss, "don't do me any favors!"

Shampoo glanced at Akane and grinned. "Look like rematch?" she asked brightly.

'Oh, damn!' the short-haired girl thought, 'This is another Ramen Noodle contest.' "At least we don't have to change our clothes this time," she replied aloud.

"Or take them off," Shampoo added, innocently.

"Shampoo!" Akane found herself blushing. 'Damn!'

From behind them Daisuke drooled in recollection. "Shampoo..." he moaned. He did not respond, until too late, to the numerous glares and lethal looks directed at his perverted reaction.

Barry was disgusted. All his plans for nothing and Akane and Shampoo were in competition again. There was no way he could see that this could end except in more resentment and higher tension between the two. Wonderful!

"Are there any other nominations?" he asked hopefully. Akane leaned over and spoke in a quiet voice to Shampoo. Shampoo turned to her, nodded and turned forward again.

In the stone cold silence that followed, Akane and Shampoo rose to their feet and launched themselves onto the stage in unison, flipping, twisting leaps that landed them simultaneously. They took a long step into the light and turned, facing one another.

To Barry, this looked disturbingly like preparation for combat. He called them to stand beside him, hoping he could put off the hostilities until after Assembly was over. "Each candidate will give a short speech, following which we will hold the vote," he said grimly. "The candidates will wait in separate rooms while the vote is going on and will return after the vote is counted. There will be no combat. Understood?" he added threateningly, glowering at both.

They nodded, frowning at him. He was left with the impression that he missed a cue of some kind, but the audience relaxed. Fallout from high-level martial arts combat could be dangerous. The rumors of Akane's victory over the Amazon, accompanied by the way the two had moved to the stage, told everyone that the competition between these two had moved to a new level. They were glad for Ranma's intervention if it meant they had time to get out of the way.

He searched in his pockets for some change but came up empty. He glanced back at Hinako, holding his hand up like she did when doing her ki-move. She grinned and tossed him a fifty-yen piece.

"Call the toss in the air, Shampoo," he said. "Akane, you say whether the winner goes first or second. The coin arced into the lights.

"Heads!" said Shampoo.

At the same time, Akane said, "First!"

Barry let the coin hit the stage; he wanted no part of the outcome. It bounced, tumbled and rolled to a stop. They all looked.

"Heads?" he asked them to confirm.

"Heads," they said in unison nodding. Akane stepped back and Shampoo took the podium, once more.

"It funny how much easier is when competing for something," she said. "I not take long. I already say... said most of what needed be said. I was born and trained to be warrior and leader. Among Joketsuzoku, leader must convince as well as lead. Sometimes, leader must know when someone else have good idea and step aside to let other lead, support them. This is that way. I am stranger to you, maybe Akane better for this. I promise to help if you choose Akane during 'Amazon Month'. Think she make good Amazon maybe. Thank you." Shampoo stepped away from the mike and Barry felt the hair rise on the back of his neck. Was she campaigning for herself or Akane?

That girl stepped up and took her place at the podium.

"I don't think I need to take much longer than Shampoo did," she began. "You all know me. I'm the one Ranma usually has to pull out of one scrape or another, if he didn't get me into it. I've developed my skills lately and the next stupid 'Mystic Prince of Who-the-Heck-Cares' that tries anything, is going to pull back a bloody stump!" The audience shifted uneasily. It was not a good thing for Akane to be angry. "I am very proud of my skill in martial arts and consider myself a warrior." Akane said this proudly, her head high. "But a warrior isn't necessarily a good leader. My listening skills, if I'm part of the problem, aren't the best. I think Shampoo would be a better choice for Class President during Amazon Month. Thank you." She stepped back from the microphone, bowed and returned to stand behind Barry.

That individual looked from Akane to Shampoo, all warning bells going off at once. Each had essentially told the listening students to vote for the other girl. Each seemed calm and unconcerned about the election, almost meek. He sighed, expecting the worst. "Akane, you use the..."

"We'll wait in the girl's dressing room while they vote, Ranma," Akane cut him off. "We won't be fighting _that_ way, today."

They walked off the stage together, leaving him mystified. Barry turned back to the audience, hand behind his head. "If it helps, guys," Barry offered, "I didn't understand that either."

"It's probably because you're a guy, Ranma," Ukyo shouted.

"Thanks, Ucchan." He spread his arms, going serious. "All right! This is how we're going to do it. I want everyone voting for Shampoo to move to yer left. Everyone voting for Akane move to yer right. Fill up all the rows. I don't want any spaces. We'll count filled rows then whatever partial row is left. If ya don't want to decide either way, come down front here in the center."

He turned to the other students on the stage. "Go ahead and vote if ya like. I'm not gonna bring 'em back in till everybody reshuffles."

Sayuri immediately rose and moved over to Akane's side, finding Yuka in the crowd and starting to chat. Hiroshi seemed to be dithering in the center. Barry saw Ukyo come over to him, frown at something on the floor, then swing her big spatula free. Soon, Daisuke was hurtling over to the Shampoo side while Ukyo went towards Akane's. Kodachi was already over in Shampoo's corner. Barry noticed that Kogara was keeping his seat. He shrugged. Like Kuno, Kogara was of the opinion that women were mothers, lovers or ornaments. He just had a different way of expressing it. A surprisingly small number of students were deciding not to decide. Slowly, the rows were filled and the auditorium grew silent.

Kogara came to the front and checked Barry's count. Barry marked down the filled rows, then started on the filled seats. Akane had fourteen filled rows and twenty-five filled seats totaling 445 votes. Shampoo also had fourteen filled rows, and fifty, fifty-one, fifty-three… fifty-five, fifty-six votes. What a squeaker! And what a relief!

"Kodachi," bellowed Ukyo, "that sumo wrestler does not count as two votes!"

"Can't blame me for trying!" came the unrepentant reply.

Barry groaned. A tie? How did these things happen? He looked at Kogara.

"You sure that you don't want to vote?" he asked him. Kogara smiled thinly.

"I disapprove of the whole idea, Saotome," Kogara replied. "I'm not getting involved."

Barry walked down to the front. "Anyone down here want to change their mind?" The fifty-odd students looked at one another. Gosunkugi sighed and wandered toward Akane's side. At the same time, an anonymous girl went to Shampoo's side. Barry saw a side door open up.

"Kodachi! What do you think you're doing?" he barked.

"Looking to see if any students left early, Ranma-darling. They do sometimes..."

"That is the street door, 'Dachi. You wouldn't be trying to slip in some ringers, are you?"

"Honestly, Ranma," she huffed. "One would think you didn't trust me!" She scowled at the laughter that followed briefly.

"Where's Ryoga?" He looked around, specifically scanning for the young man. "Lost again? Crap!" Barry counted one last time with a sense of futility. 446 for each side, 52 abstaining, probably several absent. "Let me guess, the President acts as a tie-breaker?"

Kogara nodded. "You got it right in one," he snickered. "I wouldn't want to be in your shoes, Saotome."

"Thank you, very much," he muttered.


	31. The Vote

**Guest Ki: Chapter 30**

_**The Vote**_

Everyone returned to their original seats, or a reasonable facsimile thereof, and the officers returned to the stage. It was left to Barry to get the girls. The three returned silently, Akane and Shampoo flanking Barry as he took the microphone once more.

"Akane. Shampoo. As usual, nothing is simple." They turned their eyes from the audience to Barry. "Everybody voted and it came back a straight, dead even tie, both of ya gettin' 446 votes. I'm told it's now up to me."

Akane blanched and Shampoo looked troubled, glancing at Akane, then back at Barry. The auditorium was silent. "For Amazon Month, to hold the office of Student Council President, I choose... Shampoo."

There was a loud sigh in the audience. Whispers began. "He chose... He chose Shampoo over Akane!"

Barry gritted his teeth and plunged onward. "Because she's an Amazon warrior and has been trained in the ways we hope to emulate, Shampoo's the best choice. I hope ya all can support her during that time, as Akane and I will." He turned to look at Shampoo directly. "Is there anything more you'd like to say, Shampoo?" The Amazon nodded. She took the microphone, then reached over and dragged Akane with her to stand in front of the podium.

"This is first lesson Joketsuzoku learn. There are winners and losers," she began. Akane stiffened but did not pull away. "But far more important is family. Akane is my sister in Furinkan Joketsuzoku. She is family. I owe her respect, honor and support. In family are no winners or losers, only students and teachers." She smiled. "Who really teacher here? I not know. Maybe in time, I learn." She stepped back, relinquishing the podium again.

'I think I may have won one, for a change,' thought Barry, trying to look relaxed. He sure hoped Akane understood his reasoning, or he'd be in a lot of pain at lunchtime.

"Point of order called!"

'What now?" Barry snapped.

"We've never had a chance to question or speak with the current Student Council President," someone called out.

"That's fine," retorted Barry. "I don't recall agreeing to run."

"Come on, Saotome," shouted someone else. "You owe us!"

"Since when?" Barry replied. "I owe certain people various bits and pieces of my honor, but I don't recall the entire Furinkan student body bein' in that group." Various students took up the call threatening to overwhelm him by volume.

Barry was a little irate at their brass and upset at some of his mistakes, earlier. He should have realized how differently these people reacted to challenges. How else could everyone conform to a standard, yet show appreciation for the rebels among them? Ranma was a leader whether he liked it or not. Fortunately, unlike Tatewaki Kuno, he didn't abuse the privilege.

"Come on, Ranma," shouted another. "You've been here two years and all we know about you is rumor. You're high profile now. Tell us!"

An echoing wave of agreement swept the room. "Yeah," someone else yelled. "We have to duck and cover every time some idiot comes after you and Nabiki was too expensive! You owe us!"

Barry paused. That had some validity. None of these people asked to have their lives turned upside down by the martial artists who followed Ranma here. "So you really think you've earned answers from me?" he asked seriously. He jerked as he felt hands touch his arms. Akane and Shampoo came up beside him again.

"They need understand, Ranma," Shampoo said. "You ask them to understand Shampoo, but they not know Ranma."

"Keep it simple, though," Akane warned with a growl.

Barry nodded and frowned. What would Ranma tell them - aside from go ta hell! The conversation had been picked up by the mike and whispered out to the students. They waited for his response.

"All right," Barry assented reluctantly. He grinned, not a pleasant expression, but one designed to intimidate an opponent. "Heh, heh, heh!" His chuckle carried across the auditorium. It presaged a cold wind that brought immediate silence. "I think everyone realizes by now that I'm Ranma Saotome of the Saotome School of the Mutsabetsu Kakuto Ryu, and before anyone makes any crude jokes, ask yerself if ya _really_ wanna grapple with me — in either form." He waited while they quieted down. "That's not a threat by the way, just a statement of fact. I and a few others in this audience are trained to do a terrific amount of damage in a short time with our hands and some select weapons. We do this, not because we want to hurt anyone, but because we need to control our own lives. We believe in freedom and responsibility. Which means, you're free to do what you like, provided you're willing to take the rap for what ya do." The silence in the auditorium was profound. "Freedom and responsibility. Ranma Saotome ain't gonna force ya to jump through hoops or demand ya kowtow to me. I know what I am. I hope ya look inside yerselves and figure out who ya are and who ya can be." He laughed again and leaned on the podium. It had not been the speech he had been planning, but circumstances change quickly on the battlefield. "So... Ya say wanna getta know me?" There was a swell of agreement.

"Here are the ground rules: No hentai stuff. Don't bother to ask about the fiancées; that's between them and me. I'm tellin ya this so ya don't waste yer time." He grinned. "If I don't like a question, I won't answer it. First question?"

"You have some nerve brushing off hentai questions, Ranma," Yuka shouted from the audience. "When you consider all the times you've run scams on people using your girl side!" Yuka always had been a little hostile to Ranma.

"I deserve that," he replied. "But then, I never ran a scam unless I stood to gain either a cure for my curse or protection for someone else..." He frowned and muttered to himself, "... except maybe for ice cream."

"Did you ever _do it_ as a girl?" Surprisingly, a girl asked this.

"Do what?" Barry decided to play dumb. It was just possible...

"Have sex. With a guy or a girl, I mean."

"Nope. Oh, we… Hell! What did I say about hentai questions? None of yer business. No matter what I answer to that, yer gonna believe what ya wanna believe. Next question?"

"How many times have you rescued your fiancées?" Another girl asked this. "How many each?"

Barry scrunched up his face in amusement. "That's sorta borderline... Do ya mind if I take off my shoes so I have some extra help countin'?" A nervous laugh rippled through the audience. "Seriously, though... I don't know. I don't keep track. If I did, I'm sure they'd tell me how often I got them into the mess in the first place."

Laughter again sounded, louder. Barry cringed a little. Ranma was rarely this outspoken except to very close friends, Ukyo and Akane mostly, and Kasumi, and more recently Hiroshi and Daisuke when they weren't slobbering over some pillow book or worse. He hoped to be honest, yet keep enough of Ranma private to maintain his integrity.

"Why do you change into a girl?" A guy this time. Barry gave a brief summary of the Jusenkyo incident, leaving out particulars as to why Ranma had been there, or whether he should have known better. He considered mentioning some of the others who had similar curses, but decided against it. Shampoo had already admitted her curse, but he wasn't prepared yet for the flurry of speculation that would happen once Ryoga's curse was common knowledge.

"Why did you become a martial artist?" It sounded like Hiroshi asked that one. Maybe Ranma's friends were trying to help him out.

"I wasn't exactly asked. I've been training since I could walk and for the last ten years did almost nothing but train under my father, Genma Saotome."

"So... If you had to do it again, would you?"

"Yes!" Barry surprised himself at the vehemence of his response. He flushed then continued. "There are a lot of things that I'd rather not have experienced at the time, but without them, I wouldn't be standing here today. I'd be dead and so would several other people." The crowd grew silent again. "That's not to say I have no regrets."

"Do you really turn into a girl? Or do you just look like one?"

"No, Daisuke, I will not date you." Barry said. Laughter followed. 'Jeez, don't do me any favors, Daisuke!' he thought and continued, "Does it really matter? If I got hit by a car and ended up crippled for life, I'd still be me."

"But it does matter!" exclaimed one girl. "I mean you came into the locker rooms those times..." She flushed in embarrassment.

"Oh, I get it." He pondered. "Look, there's this tribe over in China, not far from Jusenkyo; the Musk Dynasty. They believed they could inherit the strength and abilities of animals by droppin' critters into Nyanniichuan and marryin' the result. The two I met claimed to have a wolf and a tiger respectively as their mothers." There was an awkward embarrassed murmur about that concept. "So, what do _you_ think?" He asked pointedly, staring at the girl.

"You mean you have… the monthly thing and…" she squeaked.

Barry banged his head on the podium in frustration. When he looked up, he noticed Akane had gone as pale as a ghost, but Shampoo simply nodded. What a stupid question!

"Next question! Make this the last, please."

"You said that, during Amazon month, you'll be treated as a guy," someone asked speculatively. "If the girls initiate the dating, does that mean any girl could ask you for a date?"

Barry blinked. It was something he hadn't considered. Not that he'd accept any. He glanced at Shampoo, their in-house authority. She smiled amused and reached for the microphone to answer for him.

"If Ranma attached to one woman, other womans... women must respect. Law say one man, one woman is quieter way? So if Ranma not choose, then must consider all." She smiled. It was obvious whom she thought he should choose. Yet there was a certain amount of satisfaction to be gained from his utterly appalled look.

Barry banged his head on the podium again. "Why do these things happen to me?"

* * *

Akane walked quietly home between Barry and Ryoga. Ukyo had found the lost-boy, 'pigged', in one of the girl's bathrooms, hiding behind a commode. As near as he could tell, no one had noticed him, but he was suffering from considerable blood loss, simply from what he had heard and his own overactive imagination. They found his clothes in the puddle of one of the infamous water buckets, but whether he had tripped over the thing or had it flung on him by someone, he didn't know.

They stopped by the Nekohanten to give Shampoo an escort and support for when she told Cologne the news about Amazon Month and her appointment as Temporary Council President. The Amazon was not certain how her grandmother would react to the situation. After all, she was supposed to be in training to help govern her own people, not a bunch of foreigners. Cologne met them at the door.

"I'm sorry, Ranma," she said, "We won't be able to work on ki matters today. We have a client we're catering for, as well as normal restaurant operations. Is something wrong, Shampoo?" she asked, interrupting herself.

"Shampoo has something to tell ya, Granny." Barry leaned against the doorframe looking smug.

"It better not have anything to do with… (WHAP!) Ow!" barked Mousse as Cologne silenced him with a strike of her staff.

"Back to work, Mr. Part-time," she growled, waving him away.

"School honor Shampoo and Joketsuzoku by having Amazon Month, to begin first school day of October," Shampoo said in a small voice. "Want copy of village laws to... use as source for rules about how students should behave."

Cologne blinked. "That's... interesting... An honor indeed! It probably won't work though. You need to have a Council of Elders with authority to stabilize the younger…"

Barry broke in. "That's what Shampoo said. So we talked ta Miss Hinako, Mrs. Morisato and old Mrs. Satamiya, and they requested that we ask ya if ya would consent ta guide them in setting up some sort of Elder's Council."

Cologne froze with her mouth open, and then snapped it shut. "You had more than a little to do with this, didn't you, Ranma?"

"While we look for Spatula-girl, they make him Council President," Shampoo explained. "He only find out today at Council..."

"Assembly, Shampoo. It's called Assembly," injected Ryoga.

"Yes, Assembly. Ranma is Student Council President. He go... went up in front and tell all student how angry he is when boys attack Shampoo and Akane for date. Say maybe they need know how it feel on other side of fence. Call for vote. Furinkan students say, yes, want Amazon Day!"

Cologne made a face. "I see... Hmmm… Council President under these circumstances would probably be equivalent to Mayor... You realize, Ranma, that technically your office should be held by a woman?"

Barry nodded.

"So... you're going to be going to school in girl-type during the month of October?"

"Hell, _no_!" he grinned smuggly. "We elected an interim, or temporary, President for the Amazon Month. A girl in fact." He grinned and glanced toward Shampoo and Akane.

"I see..." She considered her granddaughter with hooded eyes. "You understand, Shampoo, that the Japanese are a very insular people. We are gaijin after all. You've said yourself that Akane..."

"Oh, I'm not Council President, Cologne," Akane said. She grinned and pointed at Shampoo, who cringed.

"Shampoo is Student Council President?" Cologne was shocked.

"Akane nominate Shampoo, Ukyo nominate Akane," Shampoo exclaimed. "Class vote. Is tie, Ranma must choose! He choose... me," she finished in a small voice.

"He _what_?" They looked up at the voice. Mousse was standing there pale as a ghost. Barry realized he must have heard only part of the discussion and set himself for an all-out attack.

Shampoo leapt between them and slung a glass of water across Mousse's snarling face. Acting quickly, she bundled up the duck in his robes and headed for the kitchen. "Ranma. You and Akane go now. I explain to Mousse. I call if problem." She was more relaxed now; her familiarity with Cologne told her that her success was an accolade, not a misdeed.

"Later, Amazon."

"I'll tape our show, Shampoo!" Akane called as she headed out the door.

Cologne watched Shampoo smile in real pleasure. That damn animé again! Teenagers! Go figure. "When you're finished with duck-boy, get back here, Shampoo. You're going to be handling the Nekohanten alone while Mousse is with me, catering."

Ryoga waved absently and walked out as well. Shampoo chased him back out of the kitchen where he rejoined Ranma and Akane outside.

Cologne heard the muffled assent, and then a splash of water followed by a yell. Then Shampoo's voice rang out loud and strident as she berated Mousse and explained the realities of the situation.

The old woman grinned. Poor Mousse! She moved about the kitchen setting up the dishes for the catering. Talk about food for thought! Something had changed in the equation. She wasn't certain just what it was, yet, but she was patient.

* * *

Barry sighed slightly as he ate. Kasumi's cooking was good! He caught a dirty look from Akane, and grinned apologetically. "Gimme a break, Akane! Kasumi's been cookin' longer." He challenged her suddenly with a mischievous grin. "Or are you claiming you don't like her cookin' anymore?"

"Oooh! You know that's not what I meant!"

"Yeah?" He went back to eating as she sat there stiffly, affronted by his words. "It really is good, Kasumi," he added.

"Thank you, Ranma." Kasumi smiled and breathed in deeply. "I really should get out more. The challenge of cooking on the road was stimulating."

Soun nodded. "It's too bad your mother wouldn't come on the road with us..." His mouth went dry, as both girls looked at him... hard.

"I always thought you snuck out, like Uncle Saotome does still," Akane said frostily.

"I didn't think mother liked Happosai very much. Wouldn't it have caused problems?" Kasumi said more gently.

"I seem to remember something about sake, ten-meter chains and express trains," Akane added.

Soun big-sweated. So did Barry. That sounded so... _kinky_! He knew it just _had_ to be something far more innocent. Akane noticed his look.

"That was _not _what it sounded like," Akane said defensively. Kasumi covered her mouth with one hand. "Mom used to get Happosai drunk and tie him up... I mean tie him _to_ trains with a ten-meter chain."

Barry thought about that, his brow wrinkling, his mouth twitching. He started to speak several times, but thought better of it, while Akane began to reach a boiling point. He knew he had better offer some kind of comment soon, but... the possibilities!

"Yoo-hoo! Anybody home?" They all turned and looked. Nabiki stood at the entrance to the main room. "Hi! You miss me?" Soun's paper dropped to the tabletop as he leaped to his feet to engulf his middle daughter in a hug.

She looked good; almost too good. Her elegant woman's business suit and artful makeup made her look much older than her eighteen years. In one hand, a valise replaced the book bag she had carried to Furinkan for so long.

"I thought we wouldn't be seeing you till the semester break," Soun said tearfully, now holding her at arm's length. "My little girl's all grown up!"

"Oh, Daddy!"

Somehow, Barry was not surprised that Kasumi had more food in the kitchen for the unexpected arrival. Nabiki sat down and chatted with her sisters over dinner. The conversation was very predictable. Kasumi asked if there was anyone special in Nabiki's life, and Akane asked for advice in handling the family accounts. Barry kept out of it, but noticed Nabiki glancing his way frequently.

Ranma didn't trust Nabiki, but had a grudging respect for her. Barry didn't trust her either, but sort of liked her. Nabiki had been too vocal about leaving home to just drop back in without a reason. He dropped himself into a lull in the conversation.

"Why are ya back, Nabs?" he asked. "If it's yer bettin' operation, I'll warn ya things have been slow." He watched her carefully, but she gave nothing away.

"Oh, I was just getting a little homesick. Besides, it's boring without someone like Ranma around to spice things up."

"Yeah... Right," Barry retorted sarcastically. "Well, it's been pretty boring around here, so I can't see..."

"That depends. Did you have Assembly yet?"

"Just today. Why?"

"When did you find out about your new responsibilities?"

"Oh, hell!" Both Barry and Akane glared at the middle Tendo. "You knew?"

"Of course!" came the answer. "It's my business to know." She shifted a little under the combined regard.

"What is Nabiki talking about," asked Soun. Then his face paled. "Not another fiancée!"

"No!" Barry jerked up alarmed at his words before relaxing. "It seems that while we were off lookin' for Ukyo, I was elected Council President." His face twisted, as Soun's eyes grew large. It was obvious what he thought.

"That's wonderful! Why didn't you tell me! Don't tell me you haven't told your mother yet! This is a great honor...!"

"Can it, Tendo," Barry snapped. "Honor or not, I'm a martial artist, not some damn bureaucrat!"

"So, you managed to slough the job off on somebody else," suggested Nabiki, sipping her tea. She smiled confidently.

Barry spoke quietly, "I hope you didn't bet on that." She froze, looking distraught.

"Well you did, in a way," Akane remarked. "Shampoo will be acting-President during Amazon Month..."

"What!" The exclamation came from all three of the other participants at dinner. Explanations followed.

"Why did you choose that bimbo over my baby?" sobbed Soun.

"Jeez! That 'bimbo' IS an Amazon! Akane ain't. Shampoo is better qualified." Barry shook his head in disgust. "And she ain't no bimbo!" He nodded toward Nabiki. "Thanks for the tip on that, by the way."

"Do you have any indication just how smart she is?" Nabiki asked quietly, remembering the computer incident.

"Let's put it this way… She pushes Akane in Calculus. She pushes Kodachi in Chemistry. She'd push me in History, if it weren't for the completely ridiculous misinformation the PRC throws into their education system. English, there is no comparison; she's the best in the class, maybe even better'n Hinako. She's even solid enough to be able to do regional accents pretty well." His lips twitched.

Akane snickered. "You ought to hear her do Australian! The blank stare, the cute little 'I-am-brainless' voice and, 'Ello, Mate! T'row some mo' shrimp on de barbi, eh? Barry and Akane chuckled. "She's better than Ryoga, though he knows more languages," Akane added.

"You almost sound like friends, Akane," Nabiki frowned. She was trying to see how these developments could be used.

"Well I think it's sweet," injected Kasumi smiling. "I always thought she was a nice girl behind all that Amazon duty."

"But that duty still drives her," Akane added sadly.

Soun wept. ""My daughter is friends with her worst enemy!"

"She's my rival, not my enemy," snapped Akane.

While Soun threatened to drown dinner in tears, Barry turned back to Nabiki and studied her in greater detail. Nabiki was acting out of character. Something was wrong here. It struck him then that Nabiki hadn't been a big fan of makeup before. Of course, it could be that she was making some sort of transition between high school girl and university woman; but frankly, it looked odd. Ki-vision had many uses, but you still had to focus the right way to comprehend what you were seeing. Why was she using base?

Nabiki had good clear skin. Frankly, she was as lovely as her sisters. She didn't need base like that. It was more appropriate to a matron or an actress... Hmm… Acting. Why would she need to act around family? Or perhaps hide something that would otherwise be visible? Ki-vision dropped from assessing her well controlled emotional lines to study her physical health. Though he didn't 'look' at her, he gave Nabiki a thorough examination. He grumbled to himself as he did so.

Emotionally she was sneaky. She had no regrets but wanted something. He knew that. He tuned in to the hormonal/chemical portion of her ki worried she might be sick like her mother had been. He wasn't sure what Mrs. Tendo had died from but Nabiki wouldn't want the fuss or pity.

She was healthy enough that way though there was something about her blood. Maybe he was being too specific. Ranma would've assessed her like a warrior in a battle, checking bones, ki strength, intent, injuries-

His discovery shook him. His face went red and his aura flickered visibly across his head and shoulders. The other people at the table went silent, staring at him.

"Um... What's wrong, Ranma?" Akane asked, edging away nervously.

Barry fought for self control. Slowly, the aura died and he refocused. "Akane!" She jerked as if he had shot her. "Special training after dinner." He glanced at Nabiki. "Feel free to stop in, Nabs. Akane's improved a lot and you might want to re-evaluate yer sheets on her against the other fiancées, if it comes to a fight."

"Okay." Nabiki studied him cautiously. Ranma had been acting weird ever since the wedding. Maybe she should check with her contacts at Furinkan before pushing her latest ploy. It was very important to her. Yes, Saturday was soon enough. "I'll be there."

Barry stood up. If it had been his sister... The aura flickered again. He controlled it with difficulty. "I'll meet ya in the dojo, Akane."

"What? What about homework?" Akane knew she had missed something. Barry normally took care of business in an orderly fashion. She suspected she'd never get Ranma to do the same.

"Later. We've got the weekend." He stomped out.

"Lover-boy seems mighty uptight these days," suggested Nabiki. "Is he still mad at me?"

"I don't know, Nabiki," Kasumi said, as Akane continued to stare after the departed pigtailed form. "He has been very intense about this ki training he and Akane have been doing, but he's been far more polite since they came back."

"Ranma? Polite?" Nabiki was obviously an unbeliever. "What ki training?" she asked her younger sister suddenly.

"Nabiki, back off," Akane suggested on the heels of her query. "Whatever you want, now's… just not a good time." Ranma might have still been angry with Nabiki, but only she knew they weren't dealing with Ranma. What was Barry's problem? "We can show you the ki techniques in the morning..."

"Come on, sis! Ranma wouldn't hurt a fly if it didn't bite him first." Nabiki smiled. "I'll take my chances." She smiled lazily. "As to what I want… You know I'm going to ask anyway."

Akane looked doubtful, but nodded and rose to her feet. Nabiki took her time finishing her cup of tea before following Akane out to the dojo. She saw Ranma working one of the practice dummies. It didn't last long. After several strikes, Ranma gave one of those odd flares of energy and the post was suddenly shredded. Her throat went dry. Akane she could understand obliterating things, but Ranma... He gave them a brief nod before gliding into the dojo. Hesitantly wondering if maybe she should have taken Akane's advice, she followed her sister in.

Ranma was sitting in a lotus position in the dojo's center. Only a few of the lights were on, leaving him mostly in shadow. Though his eyes were closed, he gave Nabiki the odd feeling that he was watching her. Akane crossed her path, throwing Nabiki out of step. When her sister reached to turn on the lights, Ranma stopped her with a word.

"Ranma, what's wrong?" Akane asked, looking nervous rather than enraged. Nabiki's short hairs quivered with warning.

"Time to practice yer ki-vision again, tomboy. I want ya ta focus on my arms. Close yer eyes, just use the ki-vision but don't focus _only_ on intent or fighting spirit."

Nabiki glanced aside at her sister and watched her close her eyes and take a few deep, cleansing breaths. She seemed to go very still and then slowly her brows came down in a frown.

"Your arms look different tonight. What have you done?"

"Now look with yer eyes." Ranma held up his arms where they could see them. The girls gasped in unison. His lower arms were covered with fine cuts and reddish marks that would normally become whopper bruises. Nabiki wondered with a sickish feeling just what the point of this exercise was. Ranma had apparently destroyed the practice dummy outside to cause himself deliberate injury.

"I heal fast, so don't worry. Take a close look." Ranma spoke softly now, almost hypnotically. "Use yer ki-vision to follow the lines of injury and see the lines that encourage healin'. Remember what ya learned at the lake about healin' yerself."

"I just want you to know I'm really angry with you!" growled Akane. "There was no need..."

"Now look at Nabiki." Nabiki stiffened, suddenly comprehending where this had been leading. She started to lift her hands to hide her face then shrugged and smiled a bitter smile. At Akane's shocked look, she pirouetted like a runway model.

Nabiki was covered with bruises under the makeup. The bruising extended down her arms and over her torso. If Akane understood what she was seeing, her sister had three cracked ribs as well. Her legs were also bruised but not as badly. Her face went hard. Now she understood why Barry had almost lost control. She was producing a sizable aura herself.

"How. did. this. happen?" Akane heard her voice asking. "Did someone... _rape_ you?"

"Almost," Nabiki admitted coolly. "I was going to talk to you about... well, not directly about this, but about how I wanted to pay Nikki back for his 'ungentlemanly behavior'.

"Nikki..." Ranma almost purred. "I think yer gonna have to modify yer revenge a bit, Nabs." The popping of tendons shifting across bone sounded in the quiet room as his hands curled from fists into claws.

"I agree," Akane said quietly.

"Stop that!" snapped Nabiki. "You're both glowing, dammit! This concerns my honor! I demand to handle it _my_ way!"

Barry felt Akane's aura dissipate. His focus turned to Ranma's fiancée. She gazed narrowly at her sister. Nabiki focused her entire attention on him.

"He could still try this again, dammit!" Barry growled, discomfitted by the sudden loss of support. "It's yer ball game, but I think he needs a little reminder that getting physical will be a _lethal _mistake."

"Lethal?" Nabiki looked startled. "That's not like you, Ranma. I don't normally butt into other people's business..." Barry snorted. "Really!" she continued, "I just profit from what others would do anyway... but you've been acting so strange, lately. Are you all right?" For once her look was open.

"No, I'm not," he answered her honestly. "But that can't be helped right now. Akane knows the problem and we're working together to correct it."

"Can you be a little more specific?" Nabiki asked quietly.

"No."

"Nabiki, why don't we pay a visit to this Nikki guy?" Akane suggested. "I'm sure that between us, Ranma and I can convince him you have family that's capable of harming him if he harms you."

Nabiki shook her head. "That would mess up the revenge I have planned." She knelt down on the floor, not bothering to hide her stiffness. "Here's the deal. Next month, the university is having a martial arts competition. It's open to all high school seniors in Japan, and the winner of each form gets a physical education scholarship to the university."

"You want us in that competition," Barry declared, flatly.

"You got it. Neither of you competes in interscholastic martial arts, so, except in certain circles, you're unknown. Nikki is my... competitor in the enabling field."

"Is that what you call organized crime?"

"Be nice, Ranma," snapped Akane. "Go on, Nabiki."

"Anyway, Nikki discovered that I'm better than he is — no surprise there — and tried to discourage me personally. I have to admit he tried to hire me first, but the offer wasn't acceptable." Nabiki buffed her nails against the lapel of her suit. "I have my sights set much higher than mistress to a yen-chasing yakuza, thank you. It was only after I turned him down that he decided to show me how much stronger a man is than a woman. I eventually taught him how painful it can be to be a man. I left before he could reply to my argument." Barry flinched and Akane looked savagely happy.

"To get to the point, Nikki has backed what he believes to be the best martial artists among the high school seniors. He also has his finances distributed fairly well in case of accidents, but he's depending on at least three of his team winning the finals. I thought I could get you two to enter one or two events and beat some of his people. If it plays right, I will ruin him financially." Her eyes narrowed in anticipation. "His customers will not be pleased when he can't meet his responsibilities, and the reputation he'll gain will destroy him in financial circles."

"Jeez, Nabiki," Barry said shocked. "I was just gonna put him in the hospital. You're gonna ruin his life!" He was honestly shaken. "Wouldn't it be more merciful just to kill him?"

"I'm not feeling merciful."

"You are one hell of a scary lady." Barry observed.

Nabiki blushed. "Why thank you, Ranma. Remember that if you ever make my sister miserable."

"Nabiki!" Akane snapped.

"Sorry..."

"No, yer not. Point taken, though." Barry thought about the plan. "Nabiki, we're gonna hafta talk about this. You have no idea how complicated things are right now..."

"My ears are open," Nabiki observed.

"Our lips are sealed," Barry retorted. "We may have only a limited period of time to resolve the problem I mentioned earlier. Every day, with the craziness that happens around here, we get interrupted, distracted and led away from our solution. We just can't spare the time."

"This problem you're being so cagey about. What is the worst-case scenario?" Nabiki asked.

Barry glared. Hadn't he just said he wouldn't talk about it?

Akane sobbed. It came deep and unexpected, and she quickly controlled it, but it was unmistakable. Nabiki looked at her in horror and gave Barry a long measuring look. "I hope you're thinking about what I said before," came her hard voice.

"There is nothing you can do to me, Nabiki Tendo, that could be worse than the worst-case scenario you asked about," Barry grated. His expression chilled Nabiki to the bone. He turned to the still form kneeling beside him. "Akane, let's spar."

Nabiki, deeply troubled, got out of the way and watched. She understood that Ranma was actually doing something other than dodging these days, but the reality shook her. As the martial artists engaged, the impacts rattled like machine gun fire and pounded like a huge drum. Periodically, both participants' auras flared as they performed almost incomprehensible maneuvers and techniques. The vibration shook the floor. It was terrifying to Nabiki. Yet she stood her ground. She knew these two would not hurt her; they had just revealed how much they cared that she was hurt. But the controlled violence went far beyond what she had ever experienced, except for those brief intense conflicts Ranma had been careful to exclude Akane from.

At one point, Akane headed for the floor in a bone-crushing throw, but her aura flared out like a rocket's exhaust and she skidded across the polished wood instead of striking it dead on. Then Ranma headed for the ceiling, propelled by a thrusting leg as he tried to take advantage of the moment. Curling into a ball, he ricocheted about the rafters and returned to the attack, forcing Akane back. As they met toe to toe, the auras flared up again, visible at their interface, sparking blue and red, seeming to be a physical barrier between them. Suddenly, Ranma thrust his arm straight through Akane's glittering wall to reach for her throat. She squawked, apparently surprised, but took his extended arm in a hold Nabiki thought might break it. Then, they froze.

"How the hell did you do that?" Akane demanded gasping. She released the young man and slumped down, winded.

"I... forced my ki to mimic your ki. Yer shields don't hinder you so they let me through." Nabiki had no idea what he was talking about but Akane seemed to.

"That's dirty! Never mind. If it can be done... I got you though, that hold would have broken your arm."

"Point taken. There was a way I could have used that as a feint, though, and done ya some real damage."

"Oh, really? Prove it!"

"Excuse me." Nabiki found her voice. They broke off their discussion and looked at her. "I... I'll get back to you in the morning." She rose unsteadily to her feet. She looked like she wanted to speak several times, but finally gave up and wove on trembling legs toward the house. Things had changed.

"I wonder if the use of ki in battle can affect spectators?" suggested Barry, watching her go. "I hope she's all right."

"I think she is," Akane answered. "Sorry about losing it like that."

"You only beat me to it by a couple of blinks," he admitted. "I don't know what Nabiki would have done if Ranma had started blubbering all over her shoes. God! How I hate this! If we're stuck like this...!"

Akane dropped her eyes. "I'm not ready to talk about that."

"Same here." He shuddered and backed away. "Do you want to spar some more, or study?"

"Spar," the answer came. "We'll study later when the gang is here."

* * *

Study meant more than just schoolwork, though it included that. Study had become a catch phrase for the ki-research. The sleep-overs had somehow led to Mousse's interpreting at the dojo instead of the Nekohanten and Ryoga consulting with the Amazons on his finds. They had also discovered, that 'studying' when you were in turmoil, often obscured insights into the words of the scrolls and what they meant, in terms of practical application. Sparring exhausted the body and helped defuse the turmoil. The scrolls often seemed to talk about one thing logically, but actually meant something entirely different if considered from a ki-perspective. A sort of Rorschach blot record that stimulated ki-vision only if read aloud and with results that were substantial yet outside the bounds of the five normal senses.

Analogies abounded in the notes. A long dead monk described the beginning of a ki reserve-building trance as 'butterflies dancing merrily across the soles of my feet and ants marching in ordered rows to my center'; and that was one of the more understandable ones. Sometimes the only way to discover what was meant was to experiment, seeking to duplicate the sensations through stimulation of their own ki, a sometimes hazardous proposition. These experiments were a sideline of the sparring sessions that Ryoga, Shampoo, Ukyo, Mousse and, sometimes, Kodachi were beginning to participate in.

Kodachi probably got the least out of the sessions. Not only was she the least trusted of the crew, but also her ki signature was so unlike anyone else's that it was difficult to instruct her. Barry mostly used the periods she was there to try to encourage her ki into something approaching normal. In a sense, Kodachi was getting exactly what she wanted, attention from Ranma. The others were clued in on what was being attempted and put up with the Black Rose's obvious glee at getting that attention, if sometimes with very strained tempers.

Shampoo, of course, was not getting anything out of this yet. She took a strange satisfaction in Mousse's progress, however. Akane had taken up training the near blind Amazon and felt they were near a breakthrough in achieving ki-vision. He already could duplicate the ki-ribbons and even without utilizing that technique, could contact items that belonged to him from a distance of several meters and encourage their ki to return themselves to him. The latter was something no one else could do, and it wasn't from lack of trying.

That evening, everyone showed up, even Konatsu, puzzled about what was keeping Ukyo out so late. With the end of the business day, everyone came over to train, 'study' and kibitz. Nabiki took one look at the gathering and ran to hook up to one of the hidden cameras she installed, only to learn that it wasn't functioning. Frustrated, she resorted to hiding in the bushes, certain that nearly everyone in the room knew she was there anyway.

Barry found that sparring with Shampoo was about what he imagined from Ranma's memories. She was every bit as fast or faster than Akane was now, and sneakier, her attacks and feints being much more subtle. Provided they kept ki techniques out of it, Barry had the slight edge Nekoken gave him in reaction time and the experience of Ranma's bouts with Akane. So far, Barry had avoided losing to the Amazon, but wondered if Shampoo realized how narrow the advantage he held was.

Akane huffed the first couple of times she was beaten, and started getting sneakier herself. The two girls drew one another out, ambushed one another and fought with unrestricted and enthusiastic glee. The present scorecard had Shampoo ahead on total victories, but Akane wasn't losing ground anymore.

Ukyo was very put out to learn how far Akane had surpassed her in her absence. She tended to pair up with Ryoga, however, perhaps more comfortable with Ryoga's combined weapon and unarmed styles. Ryoga finally, somehow, achieved ki-vision and was trying to instruct Ukyo. Barry wondered how this would sit with Akari when she returned. While the lost-boy never openly signaled an attraction, occasionally something would show through; and Ukyo didn't look like she was running away very hard. Barry felt that a long-growing attachment was starting to surface, and soon Ryoga would truly understand Ranma's dilemma, caught between honor and emotion. He felt sorry for the young man. It really did seem that fate was out to do him as much dirt as possible.

Kodachi was beginning to explore the possibilities of unarmed combat. She did not like to be hit with bare hands, which was interesting, as she was perfectly willing to endure damage from weapon attacks without flinching. It was just another facet of the endlessly weird pattern of her personality. When she was not working with martial arts rhythmic gymnastics, it was not unusual to find her stopping in to practice tai chi with Kasumi.

Friendship among the principal six was difficult to define. While such relationships obviously existed, the conflicts of duty and honor were apparent, too. They all tried to focus on the common ground, the ki techniques. Provided they dealt with one another on an intellectual basis, they usually managed to ignore the rest.

"Mousse, what do you think you're doing?" Barry stared hard at the robed Chinese. Mousse turned in his general direction, a double-headed pole arm in his hand.

"What?" The Master of Hidden Weapons had just begun a spirited argument with Ryoga. That is, he made a disparaging remark, which Ryoga interpreted as being directed at Akane, which resulted in the lost-boy taking said matter up with Mousse.

Akane, who knew exactly what Mousse was talking about, stopped Ryoga in his tracks by punting him harmlessly through the north wall, but not before Mousse reached into some sort of pocket in space to draw out the weapon.

"Put the weapon away, Mousse," Barry suggested. "Besides, aren't ya tryin' to learn the unarmed style?"

"All right," Mousse grumbled. "But I didn't start it." He tucked the pole arm away into that pocket again and stood watching the hole Ryoga disappeared through.

"Never said ya did!" Barry, too, watched the hole and watched beyond as well, in case Ryoga became disoriented. Mousse used so little ki in accessing these pockets that opened and closed at his will, it was hard for Barry to claim it was a ki technique. It seemed to be yet another incomprehensible aspect of the world he now resided in.

"Akane!" snarled Ukyo. "What did you do that for?"

Akane stared at her and raised an eyebrow. Barry felt the tension crackle. "Akane! Stop that!" he snapped. She turned and frowned. "Ukyo! Behave yerself! Akane didn't hurt the big lug, she just kept him from attacking Mousse needlessly."

"She put him through the wall!"

"I'm fine, Ukyo!" Ryoga interrupted her by sticking his head through the wall. He glanced at Barry. "I broke it, I fix it?"

"Yup!"

"Damn!"

Barry turned away and watched as Mousse settled down again, shifting his robes into a more comfortable position, much as his duck-form settled its ruffled feathers. Akane was working with Mousse using sensory specification. It wasn't going as well as they had hoped. Mousse was excellent at meditation, maybe too good. He could put himself in seconds into a state where he would be totally unaware if you broke his arm. Mousse was not food-oriented. They would have to find some other stimulation to spark his ability.

Shampoo watched, curious at their efforts. Being presently a non-operator at ki herself, she didn't try to contribute normally, but this night, Akane's growing frustration prompted her to insert herself into the situation.

"Why does Akane want Mousse to taste ice cream?" she asked Barry.

"Well," he answered carefully, "it has a very definite taste and the cold is another sharp change his system can track. The lips and tongue are very sensitive to things like that."

"Must it be cold?" Shampoo was doing much better in grammar these days, Barry noted. She watched Mousse carefully as he tried to balance between awareness and centeredness.

Barry considered. "No… I suppose not. But cold is such a drastic change and you can go pretty cold without doing physical damage." Barry winced and thought back along his own words. He had to be careful. His own grammar was getting too good again. Fortunately, the Amazon didn't seem to be paying attention. He looked over to where Nabiki was hidden. He had to be extra careful.

"So, it is the surprise of stimulus which is best?"

"Sorta. For Akane and Ryoga, it wasn't so much the surprise as the change, the... I don't know... distraction. The trouble is, Mousse is pretty near un-distractible when he's like this."

Shampoo considered a while longer. "Is it very important that Mousse have this ki-vision?"

"Shampoo," Barry replied carefully. "When we work on ya, it's gonna be like we're in an operatin' room. A buncha doctors all around the patient, each one ready to back up the other if somethin' goes wrong." He chewed his lip. "I want at least one person you can absolutely depend on if somethin' goes wrong, and that's Mousse all over." He laughed nervously. "A course, we don't even know if the work needed is complicated or difficult, but..." He sighed exasperated. "Besides it's a damn shame he can't see well, and I betcha ki-vision would make up fer that, too!"

Shampoo nodded absently. "I see...

"Airen..." She used the term for husband again, drawing a flinch from Ranma's 'guest'. "...please forgive if what I do seem wrong. But I can do what you want."

"Nothin' ta forgive, Shampoo," he answered, with a shrug. "If you think you can do it, do what you have to."

He wondered what he had gotten Mousse into as she waved Akane aside. Scowling, Akane stepped back and traded glances with Barry who shrugged. Shampoo seemed very formal as she strode forward to where Mousse sat in a modified lotus position, apparently unconcerned by his surroundings. Shampoo knelt down in front of the bespectacled man and composed herself, taking a few moments to limber herself up.

Barry started to get nervous. She wasn't going to hit him, was she? Or use some tsubo technique to bypass his barriers? She placed both of her hands lightly on his shoulders as those that could watched with both ki and normal sight. There was no reaction. Had he been aware, Mousse probably would have reacted with a typical, always unsuccessful, attempt to kiss or embrace her.

Then Shampoo swayed forward and planted a firm, full kiss on the man's lips. The kiss lingered; it caressed; it said hello and goodbye without words. It promised and denied. Mousse's whole awareness went off like a bomb, as he knew instantly those particular lips he had sought so long. Yet, he was so far within his meditation that he had no immediate muscular control to respond. His ki flashed so intensely that, had it been a visual effect rather than what it was, the watchers would have been blinded.

As soon as Shampoo felt his lips begin to move in concert with her own, she darted away like a startled deer. Barry thought he saw a similar spark within her that flared and was suppressed, no doubt by those intrusive ki-blocks.

Mousse gasped and convulsively grasped for her, far too late. In wonder he sat there and touched his lips as if remembering some dream, then looked at her blushing face and knew it was not. Trembling, he removed his glasses as if they were now an impediment to his sight rather than an aid. For long moments, the two Amazons gazed at each other, even as the four around them tried to find words to express what they sensed and saw.

"I so sorry, Mousse," Shampoo said in a quiet, broken, little voice. Then she was gone, out the doors of the dojo and into the night.

Mousse sat where he was, tears streaming down his face. Shampoo's stimulus had indeed awakened his ki-vision. He had seen her soul in all its multicolored splendor, shining as nothing else had ever shone for him. He felt arms cross his shoulders as Ranma and Akane came to his support.

"Mousse... Mousse! Damn! Are you all right?" The Master of Hidden Weapons heard the concern in Ranma's voice and knew it to be genuine.

He answered as truthfully as he could under the circumstances, as truth deserved truth. "Ranma," he sobbed softly, "I wish I were dead."

Outside, Nabiki was stunned. None of them were acting normally. Not one! She wondered if she had stumbled into some alternate universe. She'd been gone, what? Three weeks? And the world had changed in her absence. More than anything, she needed to reach her contacts to find out what had happened.

Cautiously, she retreated from her hiding place. She heard them giving what comfort they could to Mousse, and overheard Akane say that she would look for Shampoo and make sure she was all right. Akane? Concerned for Shampoo? Suddenly, she had sympathy for Ryoga. 'This must be similar,' she thought, 'To what he must feel, turning up in odd places.'

* * *

Ranma Saotome looked at the shirt and slacks combination that Gwen had demanded he wear and frowned. He didn't understand why he had to dress this way. The hard-soled shoes still sat beside the bed. He looked at them with distaste. Sure it was Brendan's birthday today, but the seven-year-old sure didn't care!

He sighed. He wasn't getting much sleep. When he did fall asleep, he often woke to find himself wrapped around Gwen. So far, he had avoided _doing it_. Gwen was easily as affectionate as Shampoo and actually more difficult to avoid or ignore. His excuse of pain from the injury from the fall was going to get very thin before long.

"How do I look?" Ranma turned at the words.

Gwen smiled and turned, showing off her dress. Ranma grumbled inwardly. She was fine for Barry. He could feel the body's reactions. But, kami! How he wished it were Akane waiting for compliments. The vision of her, just days ago... He tried to smile winningly.

"You look fine, dear," he said. "Really nice." 'For a thirty-something-year-old woman who had never done martial arts,' he added internally.

Gwen smiled and danced over to him, planting a quick kiss on his lips. She was obviously disappointed at the lack of response but Ranma just couldn't bring himself to play the role that far. "Let's go to your mom's. Brendan is beside himself."

Ranma shuddered. English was rich with words that could mean several different things. Two Brendans? Ouch!

The drive was short. Barry's mom lived four houses away, in a country setting. It was still close enough to walk; but for some reason, Americans seemed to feel they needed to take their cars everywhere. He shrugged and winced. If it weren't for the seatbelt, the boy would be bouncing off the windshield. He thought about his own childhood. He couldn't even remember celebrating a birthday before coming to the Tendo's. His people culturally didn't make that much of birthdays, but it had been Akane who had made sure the event was noted and some special consideration had been offered. That thought made him wince again. As he recalled, he hadn't been very gracious about it. They walked along the sidewalk to the front of the house where Ranma got a nasty shock.

"Hi, Barry!" Ranma almost jumped out of his skin. Was that his cursed form...?

Memories sparked and he managed a stiff, but fairly natural hug for Shannon, one of Barry's older sisters. Though blond instead of red-haired, the resemblance was astonishing. Twins, moreover, the other named Shelly. Both married, one to a doctor and the other just out of a divorce and dating another doctor. Barry's older brother and another sister lived out of state. Ranma sighed. If only he had been part of a big family like this... He was knocked out of his thoughts by Shannon's next comment.

"Going swimming?"

"Um..." He didn't want to go... Oh, yeah... He didn't go 'girl' here!

"I brought our suits," inserted Gwen, waving the articles in the air. "He's going swimming. Maybe it'll help your back," she added sulkily. Ranma winced, and wondered for the millionth time if he should tell Gwen what had happened. This situation couldn't go on forever. Eventually, he would have to tell her, and it would either lead to divorce on one hand or betrayal on the other.

He hesitated because he had no way to evaluate Gwen, except the off-hand remarks Barry had made from time to time. They were not exactly promising in outlook, but Barry often used sarcasm. What was the truth? Was Gwen strong enough to take the truth and flexible enough to believe it? Once more he decided to put off the moment and live in the present. It had worked okay for the last two years... 'HA!'

He sat beside the pool watching Barry's son play in the water. Despite the knowledge that he wouldn't go 'girl', he was very nervous while going topless. Akane had finally beaten into him the necessity of feminine modesty and the idea of flashing boobs to Barry's family didn't appeal. The shock of meeting Barry's sisters had been nothing compared to meeting Barry's mother.

If Nodoka lived another twenty years, she might look like Barry's mother. Though not Asian, she was elegant, pleasant and still beautiful, with a love of Japanese art and furnishings. An offhand comment betrayed the fact that she was also familiar with the _Tale of Genji_, a bit of information that Barry would be shocked to learn. A picture revealed that Barry's father, long deceased, closely resembled Genma in appearance. The big difference in that regard, had been his standing in the community, and the almost-universal respect he had earned.

He sipped a long, cool drink of cola from his glass. The stuff was disgustingly cheap in America, and was probably the main reason Barry was a little overweight despite his intense work schedule. A two-liter bottle cost about twenty percent of what it would back home.

"Hey! Aren't you coming in?" Gwen waved from the pool. Dressed in a relatively modest bikini, she was very feminine and, of course, very stimulating to Barry. Ranma was half-afraid to get in the water. He sighed and walked over to the edge.

"Why should I," he demanded, smiling. "I don't feel like the effort of swimming."

"So you're saying you're lazy?" she said pouting. "Floating doesn't take any effort," she suggested.

"Come on, Dad!" Brendan yelled. He raced by on his way to the diving board, giving Ranma a solid shove. "Get in!"

"Brendan! _No_!" Gwen yelled. Ranma swung his arms, tried to twist and gritted his teeth as the remains of the injury protested. A foot slipped on the side of the pool. Fatalistically, he folded his arms and gave up the struggle. Water fountained.

He surged to the surface and patted himself automatically. No breasts. Barry was not hirsute, but the feel of the wet hair under his fingers reassured him as well. He looked around for Brendan who was being scolded by his mother. "It's all right, Gwen," he protested at Brendan's long face. "You wanted me in. Well, I'm in! Are you happy now?"

Gwen frowned at Brendan who muttered 'I'm sorry!' She turned to the wet, male figure and drifted close. She wrapped her arms around his chest and snuggled.

"Now I am," she murmured.

"Eeep!" He didn't dare protest. She was being very careful.

"After you're feeling better, maybe we can talk your mom into letting us use the pool after dark. No kids, no noise... No lights." Gwen snuggled closer, if possible. "No suits..." she breathed in his ear.

He sank, semiconscious at the idea. Reluctantly, Gwen released him and he gained a more comfortable, two or three yards of space.

"Don't you love me anymore?" she quavered when he resurfaced.

"We're in public, dammit!"

"No, we're in _family_. My husband doesn't love me anymore!" she restated, covering her face with her hands, shoulders shaking.

Ranma was appalled. What set this off? Worse, what could he do to correct it, short of things he really didn't want to deal with? Ranma racked Barry's memories for some solution. He almost missed the hint of a smile behind the hands. "Why you..." He dove forward, tickling exposed ribs and getting a shriek from his victim. Now, he understood; it was a game and she was inviting him to play. Barry always said he married his best friend. This was one of the perks that came with it. She tickled back and he let himself sink into the role of friend. They laughed like children and were quickly joined by Brendan in the wet fun.

Still laughing, they exited the pool and changed, a process that sobered Ranma immediately, as they shared a changing room. He kept his eyes front and managed the act in record time despite the pain, leaving before he got any ideas, or she did.

Dinner was plentiful and good. Shannon cooked lasagna, Barry's favorite, and a cheesecake that was rich and heavy enough to sink the _Yamato_. Brendan got his gifts and they sang _Happy Birthday_. Brendan got a Nintendo game station and some games, as well as clothes and a big water pistol that looked capable of throwing a quart of water in seconds. Ranma looked at it and grinned. He had seen a few of those, back in Japan, and thought they would be a boon in battling someone who was cursed. Only Taro was more effective as a fighter when cursed among the regular visitors, and only Mousse, among the visiting regulars. Maybe hot water?

Ranma helped Brendan set up the Nintendo when they got home. It was hard not to show familiarity with the device. Soon, the two were deep in the land of video gaming, watching the fat, little Italian plumber battle unlikely monsters.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" Gwen said in disgust. The game didn't interest her at all and she wanted attention from her husband.

Ranma froze. Akane! Gwen was right, though unintentionally. He should be concentrating on getting back, not playing with some child's toy. He flushed in shame and longing. The feeling, the caring, they had here was so seductive. Shannon had mentioned that her divorced husband admitted marrying into the family for just that reason. His own early life had been less than pleasant and he had been drawn to them. Nor had they been less than enthusiastic in welcoming him; but, despite that, it had not worked and he had been the one to initiate the split. If Ranma wanted this for himself, he had better get back home and work to build it. This wasn't his, but something like it could be. He had to hope so.

Ranma shuddered as he stood, his face drawn and pale. His life had been filled with demands and approval based on performance. Barry's life had been filled with demands, but performance was a side effect of the caring between individuals. You did well because you cared, not because you were required to.

It was a taste of heaven. How did it feel to experience this and then lose it? He shuddered again and flinched as Gwen placed a gentle hand on his arm. He smiled weakly. She thought he was in pain again, which would help him later that evening. Duty had played such a significant role in his life. Once he returned, perhaps it was time to see how love did. He had to try. Somehow, he would succeed. He was Ranma Saotome and he would do it, or die trying.


	32. Sword Dance

**Guest Ki: Chapter 31**

_**Sword Dance**_

Barry and Akane were up early the following morning. Nabiki was a late riser when possible, so the morning was a good time to discuss matters. Besides, Japan had half-day school on every other Saturday, and today was one of those days. Barry scanned the dojo for electronics, both passive and active. He found only one, a voice-activated pocket tape recorder taped to a rafter. Knowing it was expensive, he only spoke a single phrase into it before replacing it unharmed, but carefully turned off.

"Nice try, Nabiki!"

"What are we going to do," Akane whined despondently. "Why can't everyone just leave us alone so we can get Ranma back?"

Barry shrugged. "What can I say? I'd like to help Nabiki, but-"

"Its not like I _want_ a martial arts scholarship!" she grumped, ignoring him. "Acting's nice…"

Barry grimaced and looked alarmed. "Why would you want to do that?"

The protest in his voice overrode Akane's focus. "What's wrong with being an actress?"

Barry tried to return to the subject at hand. "I'd think 'Romeo and Juliet would have answered that - Never mind! We need to figure out what to tell Nabiki to get out of this plan she has. Any ideas?"

"What did that have to do with acting?" Akane grumbled, aggravated.

"Sweetheart, that's a bad habit you have of getting side-tracked."

The short-haired girl snorted. "Be that way!" She sighed. "Ideas? Not really. I hoped you had come up with something."

"RRRrrrr… I'm older, not all-knowing!" He groaned. "She's your sister. What kind of thing would satisfy or distract her?"

Akane gave a helpless shrug. "Neither of us have access to that much money."

"Ouch!" Ranma's guest gave her a scandalized glare. "At least _I_ only _thought_ that!"

They stood silently for a few moments in contemplation. Akane broke the silence first.

"So… What's wrong with being an actress?"

"Not that again!"

"Well we're not getting anywhere on the _real_ problem!" She stomped her foot as she shouted at him.

Barry rolled his eyes. "Let's just say I have my reasons."

Akane glared at him. "You've acted. You said you were good." She smirked. "Couldn't cut it?"

Barry glared. This was new. This anger. He took a deep cleansing breath. "Didn't want it, tomboy." The 'tomboy' was delivered like a slap. "My priorities were different!"

"Tomboy!" Akane snarled.

All the frustration of their interrupted research and training powered their aura into visible levels. Their eyes flashed. Fists clenched. Nabiki stood blinking in the doorway. They stared dumbly at her before postponing the argument by silent mutual consent.

Seeing that she was now observed, Nabiki shrugged and stepped forward. "Do you need to be so loud so early? Some of us need our beauty sleep... And don't you _dare_ say that!" Nabiki pointed warningly at Barry whose grimly pressed lips had twitched in a sudden smile at her words. "What are you shouting about anyway?" Her expression betrayed no knowledge of the hidden tape recorder.

"What else? The competition, of course." Barry said, glibly.

"Are you in, then?" Nabiki drawled. Ranma? Glib? What is he hiding?

Akane and Barry exchanged a single glance. "Let's just say we're not out. I… We really want to pay Nikki back properly," growled Akane. "Nobody touches my sister and gets away with it!"

"Ranma?" Nabiki turned back to Barry. She had obviously taken Akane's remark as a conditional yes. It only needed a little encouragement.

"You're looking for commitment? From _me_?" he replied. At her glare he made a 'deflect-evil' sign. "We need some more time to work out the details, Nabiki. Ask us again this afternoon." He turned to Akane.

"Your mother's?" Akane asked. He nodded. "Later, sister."

Nabiki blinked. Had they learned teleportation or something? Where did they go? She shrugged. Akane was improving, so maybe Ranma had taught her his camouflage trick. She started to go for the ladder to retrieve her hidden recorder, and then stopped. What if they hadn't left? After a moment, she decided to wait until they were supposed to be in school. No need to hurry at this point. Mind always beat matter.

She sighed ruefully. It was funny though. It used to be that she compared men to the founders of Japan's industrial giants, like Honda, Mitsubishi and Matsushita, or the great industrial leaders of America's age of growth: Carnegie, Rockefeller and DuPont. More and more she found herself comparing her dates to Ranma as well. "At this rate", she muttered to herself, "I'll end up with standards so high, I'll never marry." Oh, well… She had had her chance with Ranma and let it pass by. At least her sister would be happy, she hoped.

* * *

The morning passed uneventfully, in general. It was only when they were leaving that they had a little trouble from Kuno, of all people.

"Fair Akane, I have come to speak once more of the proposition I laid at your feet but short weeks ago."

"What proposition would that be, Kuno," Akane asked cautiously. What ever it was couldn't have been important; but then that was true of most of Kuno's pronouncements. That did not preclude them being painful, embarrassing or annoying by degrees, however.

"My sister did interrupt us at that time… Perhaps I did not make myself clear," He preened in his elegant western suit which, Akane had to admit, made him more presentable. "I would be honored if you, Akane and the pig-tailed girl would deign to visit me…"

"Hey, ronin-san! How ya doin'?" Hated tones interrupted his invitation as 'the Saotome' made his appearance.

"Avaunt, demon!" His hand flung out in a dismissive warding gesture. "I have no business with you!" he exclaimed in addition and as usual, to no avail. "Would that I had the means to banish you to her benefit! Why must you trouble me, Saotome! What have I done to be so cursed?"

"Well… Try, siccing the entire male population on Akane when we were freshmen, constantly trying to molest her or the pigtailed girl, being a general jerk…"

"Besides that!" yelled Kuno, waving his arms.

Barry and Akane froze, then snickered. Did he just say…?

"I dunno, Kuno. Tell ya what! How 'bout I make a list, and if ya can un-bury yerself from the mountains of paper in a set period of time we'll let ya know," Barry said with a straight face.

Kuno seemed to actually consider that for a moment. He glanced harshly at Ranma. "Methinks you mock me…"

"Master Kuno! Please," Sasuke seemed to appear, though Barry knew he had been lurking behind the tall kendoist. "Let me speak with them. You know what Dr. Hashibara said about getting upset?"

Kuno waved at him dismissively. "Very well. Do what you must," he said impatiently. Sasuke turned to Akane and Ranma and motioned them a few steps away.

"My master is currently attempting to deal with the results of several years of ingesting Mistress Kodachi's special mixtures and the resulting… results," he said giggling inanely. "Unfortunately, his current specialist just does not accept the reality of Jusenkyo curses…"

"Hell, Sasuke! _Kuno_ doesn't accept the reality of Jusenkyo curses!" Barry barked. He lowered his voice as the mentioned individual glared their way.

"What does that have to do with us?" Akane asked, honestly puzzled.

"Master Kuno has become… marginally aware of the situation," Sasuke explained. "At least to the degree that he knows that if Ranma is splashed with cold water, his pig-tailed goddess appears." Sasuke wrung his hands nervously. "Needless to say, this lack of common ground interferes with Master Kuno's rehabilitation."

"Okay," Barry nodded. "I can see that. You figure I can pop over to the doc's, do the 'girl thing' and let Blue Blunder over there get on with his life?"

"Exactly!" the little ninja almost caroled. "Could you? Please? Pretty pl—!"

"Jeez! Get hold of yerself!" Barry held up a hand. "Yeah, why not! It'll only take what, five or ten minutes?" As Sasuke nod-nodded, Barry frowned. "Why was he comin' on to Akane, then? She's not cursed."

Sasuke suddenly got very evasive. "Um… perhaps it was merely a part of his mania up to this point! You know how he's always been taken with you, Miss Tendo…"

"Sasuke!" they growled in unison and he flinched under their combined glare.

"Umm… Heh, heh, heh!" Sasuke looked like he wanted to be anywhere but where he was. "Perhaps this is not the best time to ask this..."

"Sasuke!" He cringed. "What is it he wants?"

"To be honest, it wasn't really his idea... Not that he wouldn't fantasize..."

"Sasuke!"

He fell to the ground and hid his head under his arms. "It is the esteemed doctor's opinion that if Master Kuno could choose between the two loves of his life, he could resolve much of his turmoil and aid his eventual recovery!" came the muffled voice.

"That was anticlimactic," complained Barry. "Not that it would do him any good; he can chose whomever, but no is still no."

"Exactly why was this so difficult to say, Sasuke?" asked Akane. The little ninja huddled more abjectly. "He's still hiding something, Ranma," she advised.

"I wonder if Ukyo knows a recipe for ninja okonomiyaki?" Barry said thoughtfully.

"With Konatsu around, it's possible," suggested Akane. "Of course, Konatsu's sweet. Maybe we can modify her crossdresser recipe? With Tsubasa coming around like he does, she's sure to have that one..." she continued clinically.

"One million..." whispered Sasuke, shivering.

"Oh? I'm sure she doesn't have that many recipes," Akane smirked.

"One million yen… each."

That got their attention. One million yen was over ten thousand American dollars. "One million yen? For what?" Barry asked quietly. He leaned over and picked Sasuke up by the scruff of his neck. Sasuke was fairly shaking himself apart, now, but remained silent. After a moment, Barry turned and looked around. "Where's Ukyo..."

"Dr. Hashibara, (gulp!)" If Sasuke were a deciduous tree, his leaves would have shaken off by now. "...wishestoobserveMasterKuno'sperformancewithbothhislovesto determinewhichoneheshouldchoose!"

"Excuse me?" Barry looked at Akane and then back at the quivering Sasuke. "Did you understand that?"

"Did you mean _performance_ the way I think you did?" the now glowing, dark-haired girl demanded.

Barry growled. "He certainly wasn't talking about acting." Akane growled at being reminded of the morning argument.

In a very short time thereafter, two forms spiraled skyward courtesy of almost simultaneously planted punts.

"Nice form," commented Ukyo, walking up with Ryoga. "Was that Kuno? Who was that with him?"

"Sasuke!" growled Barry. He glanced at Akane. "Good loft ya got there. I can see yer not out of practice." She glared.

"Ranma kick little ninja?" asked Shampoo who joined them. "Ranma not kick very high. Maybe need more practice. Get soft doing ki technique all time!" Shampoo was a bit put out that Barry tended to avoid sparring with her.

Barry huffed. "What happened to yer grammar, Shampoo?" he demanded. "And I'm not going soft. It ain't Sasuke's fault he's tied to the resident moron! I felt sorry for the little dork."

"Was my brother here?" asked Kodachi, breaking away from a group of girls. It was surprising how popular she was sometimes. Barry had to admit she had plenty of charisma and could be a pleasant conversationalist. It was a pity she was nutty as a fruitcake. And that aura! Still, he was working on that...

"Uh... Yeah, Kodachi. He and Sasuke just left." said Barry.

She looked downwind. "Ah, I see... Oh, well... I had hoped to have a few words with Sasuke..."

"Sorry, Kodachi. He was rather embarrassed by something he said."

"Probably pertaining to Dr. Hashibara?" Her eyes darkened and an indefinable expression swept her fine-boned features. "The Romanov's had their Rasputin, and the Kuno's have their Dr. Hashibara!" she said cryptically to most of their listeners.

Barry understood the reference immediately. "So Dr. Hashibara has the approval of Principal Kuno and yer brother?" he asked the Black Rose.

"He's the chief psychologist of the psychiatric division of Kuno Industries," she said bitterly.

"Really..." Barry grumbled to himself. Just how much influence did this Hashibara guy have? It would have to wait. He'd make notes for Ranma and talk to Akane about it later, just in case. Maybe, he should buttonhole Sasuke as well...

Akane had been looking around at their friends and rivals. Ukyo, Shampoo, Kodachi, Ryoga… An idea was forming. She smiled gleefully. Maybe there was a way for them to help Nabiki in her revenge and avoid being directly involved! "Hey, guys. Did you hear about the martial arts competition?" Kodachi turned away to where Akane began explaining to Shampoo and Ukyo about the martial arts competition at Nabiki's university.

"Shampoo not... Er..." She glanced over at Barry. "I am not really interested in competing, Akane. I know how good I am. Already have degree from University of Beijing in Psychology and Political Science. Why I need..." She growled again at her own grammar. "Why do I need a scholarship to a Japanese university? It is not practical."

"I suppose I could compete in woman's kendo," Ukyo said thoughtfully. "I wonder if it's really to be kendo, or naginata?" She shrugged. "I think I could hold my own, especially if we train with that in mind." She shook her head. "I don't know what I'd do with a degree if I got one."

"They have degrees in International Cuisine, I think," offered Barry while staring off into space. There was so much going on; it was hard to stay focused. How were they going to deal with Nabiki's plans? "You always dreamed of owning a chain of restaurants, Ucchan," he added.

"Damn!" she exclaimed. "I never thought of that! It 'd be a lot easier to get financial backers with a degree and a successful business." She turned to Akane. "I'm in!"

"Is Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics involved?" asked Kodachi. "Not that I need a scholarship, but it's good to keep one's hand in."

There was a sudden pained silence in the crowd. They all looked at Kodachi, then at Barry, who still mused over competing strategies and objectives. He became aware of their scrutiny and flinched nervously. "What?"

"Kodachi is interested in the martial arts rhythmic gymnastics portion of the competition, Ranma," Akane said sweetly, as if to a two-year old. Barry barely controlled a blanch.

He turned to the Black Rose shifted gears and smiled. What did Akane think she was doing? "You know, it'd be interesting to see Kodachi compete, Akane. Uhh… After all, we know she's good, but how would she stack up to nation-wide competition without the... um, pre-event elimination?"

Kodachi eyed him narrowly. "Your attempts at subtlety are limited by the understanding of your audience, Ranma. Don't throw pearls before swine."

"Hey!" exclaimed Ryoga, who hadn't really been listening. He frowned at the younger Kuno. "Did she just..." His face reddened, and Kodachi stepped back and surreptitiously slid a ribbon out from somewhere.

"No, Rychan," Ukyo tried to calm him. "Remember, she went to St. Hebereke's? It's just a saying!"

Ryoga, Akane and Barry face-faulted. 'Rychan?' Ukyo didn't seem to notice her slip. She was busy glaring at Kodachi. "Put away the ribbon, sister, or I'll make you eat it!"

"Seriously though," Barry slipped between the two girls. "You are good, Kodachi. You don't need to cheat." He cocked his head. "You can't get much applause for standing up before an audience and hearing some judge declare a forfeit."

"Winning is everything!" Kodachi stormed at him. Again he heard the bitterness. "You of all people should understand that, Ranma! What do I need with applause from the unwashed? I am the Black Rose!" She left with a twist and an angry flounce, but there was the hint of tears. Barry barely restrained himself from reaching after her.

"What a fruitcake!" sneered Ukyo.

Ryoga and Akane looked worriedly at Barry, who stood with a confused look on his face. He turned to Akane. "Did I miss something?"

Barry sat in the guestroom after school. He had decided to set down his thoughts before they became further jumbled by events.

_**Journal: Ranma's Guest — Saturday, 14 September 1991 - Day 21**_

_I'd almost rather have been sucked into a soap opera. I turn into a girl, get hit on (even by guys who know I'm not really a girl), am expected to fight monsters (I haven't yet, but I'm expected to), and deal with multiple fiancées that I'm not really affianced to but need to act like I am. _

_I didn't realize that Akane was interested in acting as a career. I strongly disapprove. But I think you and she are going to have to deal with this yourselves. I have my reasons for not liking acting as a career, but maybe Japanese theater and films are not as intrinsically perverted as Hollywood is. Tell her to look before she leaps, okay? _

_Tatewaki and his sister are seriously warped. I pity Sasuke. I sympathize with his loyalty. Sasuke put forth the idea that Dr. Hashibara, Tatewaki's shrink, needs to have the Jusenkyo phenomena demonstrated for him, as he is 'treating' Kuno's psychosis and related aberrations, one of which is the 'nonsensical' idea that people can change sex or species when splashed with water. _

_I'm real interested in meeting Dr. Hashibara, who, if I understood Sasuke right, also wanted Akane and the pigtailed girl to compete in an orgy with Tatewaki under the good doctor's discerning eye. There was no discussion as to whether the doctor planned to participate, but he was to 'aid' Tatewaki in determining which one of his loves he should focus on. You could imagine our reply. (Pow! Wheeee!) _

_Understanding that she had missed her brother, Kodachi made a further comment that mentioned Dr. Hashibara, likening him to Rasputin. Rasputin was a sort of a village hermit originally who captured the attention of the last Russian dynasty, the Romanov's. Though sometimes called the Mad Monk, he had never taken vows in any church, save the devil's if some stories were to be believed, for he had a truly unholy influence over some of the imperial family. Some sources claim his advice helped to bring about the Romanov's fall to the Communists. This man may be a serious threat to you and what you hold dear. A lot depends on whether he is a fool or a sly conniver. Jusenkyo could be a powerful tool to someone seeking personal power. Of course, Kodachi may have her own reasons for saying what she said. She is sneaky._

_Now that I think of it, I wonder how many PRC agents have Jusenkyo curses? I'd ask Cologne, but she might have to kill me for knowing too much. You can decide whether I'm joking about that for yourself._

_On top of all that, there's this Martial arts Competition that Nabiki plans to use as her vehicle of revenge and profit. (Never, NEVER forget the profit!) Akane got the bright idea of bringing your friends in on it. The idea was that Nabiki got her winners while we're left free to concentrate on getting you back. Only one problem: _

"Ranma!" Kasumi's voice came faintly from somewhere below.

"Comin' Kasumi!" He closed the notebook and hopped to his feet. He'd finish his entry later. Hiding it carefully, he slipped down the steps. He slowed. Having Kasumi waiting for him and wringing her hands was not a good sign. "Uh... What's wrong, 'Sumi?"

"It's another fiancée!" she whispered, glancing over her shoulder.

Barry groaned and turned toward the wall. He should have known he would run into one of these. Fiancées plagued Ranma like fleas did a dog. Kasumi grabbed him by the pigtail before he could start hammering his head against the vertical surface.

"Stop that! It doesn't help," she exclaimed quietly.

"Have you tried it?" he asked smiling slightly.

"Yes!" came her short and unexpected reply. She didn't elaborate. "They are waiting in the main room. I've offered them tea and have some cakes baking." She looked almost grim for Kasumi. "I do not want any fights in my house, Ranma." Kasumi was wringing the edge of her apron. "You should see the size of the sword she's carrying!"

Barry took in the worry lines on her forehead and then spread his awareness to the room where the guests waited. A rangy older man sat beside a young, very fit woman. The two seemed to be in a quiet but heated discussion. Not far from them, Nabiki sat sipping tea and probably trying to figure the possible ways to take advantage of the situation. Beside the new fiancée was a curved sword nearly two meters long, a no-dachi. Its age was evident in the ki that sang through the metal. He watched as the girl broke off her discussion and placed her hand down on the hilt while looking about suspiciously. He was fairly certain that the girl did not sense him directly, but rather sensed the response to his observation in her sword.

A second critical examination of the girl revealed a build similar to Ukyo's, rangy and slightly broad-shouldered from the musculature needed to wield her chosen weapon. Her hair was pulled back in a long braid, and a set of single-edged knives was carried in bandoleers across her chest under the kimono she wore for the occasion.

"How much damage would another fiancée cause, Kasumi?" he asked quietly. "I've just managed to get my balance with three and a wannabe." Kasumi huffed silently but made no comment. "Let's deal with it now. Call Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi for me, and since it's such a nice day, let's move it out to the garden."

"Oh, dear," Kasumi exclaimed suddenly. "And it's been doing so well, too."

"Hey! I'll guard it with my life..."

"Don't you dare!" Kasumi went ferocious. "We haven't gotten this far for you to do something that stupid!"

Barry grinned, gave her a thumbs-up and entered the room. Kasumi hurried off to make the requested calls, hoping that Ranma knew what he was doing this time. The guests rose and they spent a few requisite moments bowing and introducing themselves to one another.

"I am Hotaru Mirotomanya of the Unlimited School of Steak House Martial Arts. This is my daughter, Nagasameru. Many years ago, Genma Saotome..."

"...Offered to give his son, Ranma, to you as an heir to your school."

The man was startled, but nodded. "For a Kobe' Steak dinner…"

Barry clutched his chest. "That much? Jeez! The old man musta been on a roll that day!" He shook himself. "At least that's better than a fish, a bowl of rice and two pickles!"

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, thought so! Sold for food, again! To you and a couple dozen other folks that I know of..."

"Excuse me?"

The girl looked at her father sullenly and gave Ranma the once-over. She did not seem to be impressed. Barry felt an uncomfortable desire to try to impress her, but managed to contain it. She possessed the longer Japanese face with a delicate, straight nose and a firm chin. Her hair was black and fine and her eyes were dark, verging towards gray. She was, also, at least two or three fingers taller than he was.

"So you're Ranma?" she said almost insultingly. His eyebrow involuntarily rose. He was really having trouble here. He was sure that Ranma would have been in the middle of a challenge by now and he didn't care how good she was with that thing. He knew he could take her. Skills aside, her aura revealed she had no idea how to use her ki beyond an instinctive level. The only unusual thing about her was the strange response that flowed between her and her sword. He took a couple of deep breaths as Akane walked in. Well, stomped in, actually. Her aura wasn't visible but it could be felt and both he and Nagasameru felt it.

Akane met the new girl's eyes and glared. "Another stupid delay," she muttered. "Why the hell..."

Barry was actually relieved. This distracted him from having to deal with his own rising ire and affronted male stupidity. "Ah... Mirotomanya-san, I must explain that there are some obstacles to your intent. My father has not always acted in an …honorable fashion."

"What Ranma means, is that _I_ have the principal claim and, after me, my sisters, as the Saotome's arranged to have our families united before we were born," Akane announced bluntly.

"Hey," remarked Nabiki, "leave me out of it!" She eyed the girl and her sword. "Or at least let me choose the weapons... like account ledgers at twenty paces!"

Nagasameru stared at the middle Tendo in disbelief, before turning back to the more obvious threat. The girls eyed one another critically. Barry felt the tension rise. He noticed how the taller girl's knuckles whitened as she shifted her grip on the hilt of the huge blade. He sensed the change Akane made in her stance, which indicated aggressive attack rather than a more cautious approach.

"Excuse me, but I thought only men were subject to testosterone jags," he injected sarcastically. He stepped into easy range of both and set himself. "Kasumi asked specifically that we are not to play in the house," he told the startled rivals. "You know, the nice girl that offered you tea?" he added to their guests. "She's in there..." He was interrupted by the very noisy entrance of two more of the girls in Ranma's life, Kodachi and Shampoo.

"No one shall take my Ranma-darling from me," declared Kodachi, ribbon twirling.

"Shampoo no take back seat to anyone!" snarled the Amazon, rather theatrically Barry thought. "You new fiancée? I, Amazon warrior! You want airen, you go through Shampoo!"

"What? What?" gargled Hotaru, eyes snapping from one beautiful, dangerous girl to the other.

"Get in line!" growled Akane. "I saw him, and her, first!"

"Sorry, I'm late," caroled Ukyo, sliding in from the garden door. "Is this the new girl? I don't know who you are, but you're not getting my Ranchan!"

Beautiful timing. Now to guide the action...

"As you can see, Mirotomanya-san," he said in a friendly manner. "It's not quite as easy as it may have seemed when you decided to come here."

"What? What?" repeated the dazed father. "Who?

"Definitely more appropriate than 'what'. These are some of the other fiancées my father has bound me to. The girl with the ribbon is Kodachi Kuno of Kuno Industries. Actually, she's the only girl I _can't_ blame on my dad. Ukyo, over there with the monster spatula, is of the Kuonji's of Kyoto. She may be in a related martial art form to your own, and is definitely related in terms of how she became a fiancée. The purple-haired girl with the big clubs, bonbori, by the way, is Xian Pu of the Chinese Joketsuzoku, and Akane, who was a bit rude when she came in, is the youngest daughter of the Tendo house."

"Rude?" Akane stopped glaring at Nagasameru and turned her attention to Barry. "Rude? I have yet another of your father's little surprises barge into my house, talking about dragging you off, and I'm supposed to be polite?"

"Excuse _me_!" said Nagasameru gratingly, unconsciously echoing her father. "I haven't talked about dragging anyone off!"

"You not going to either," said Shampoo sweetly.

"Listen, bimbo," snarled the girl, looking down on Shampoo. "Don't you try to..."

"The cakes are ready," caroled Kasumi. Kodachi immediately captured one from the plate, giving Kasumi a surprisingly sincere smile, her ribbon on idle.

"Who you call bimbo!" Shampoo was outraged. "Hick country girl with big knife think Shampoo know nothing because Japanese not good?"

"How many fiancées do you have?" Mirotomanya-san asked dazedly of Barry.

So far, so good! Go for stage two.

"Not a clue. Have to beat it outa Pops some day." He stepped between Shampoo and Nagasameru, as they seemed about to open hostilities. Shampoo, clearing for action, accidentally backhanded him out the door and into the koi pond with predictable results... exactly as planned.

"Shampoo!" the other fiancées chorused in protest.

"I sorry," replied the embarrassed Amazon.

"I make it fourteen so far, including your daughter," Nabiki piped in from her seat below the action. "I'm running a pool to see how many show up before he gets married and makes it all moot. Want in?" At the man's glazed look, she added, "The pot's getting bigger all the time. I may actually have submit paperwork to the government if it gets much larger."

"Does that include you, Nabiki?" Barry asked in interest, rejoining them, wringing some of the water out of her shirt. Nabiki's comment was an added bonus.

"Well, I was, for a while there."

"What are you?" asked the shaken man, suddenly realizing that the tall dark-haired young man was now a much shorter, red-haired female...

"He's Ranchan, and I've known him since he was six," snapped Ukyo.

"He's Ranma Saotome," answered Kodachi haughtily, "the best martial artist I've ever seen."

"He beat Shampoo!" acknowledged Shampoo. " I best warrior of Joketsuzoku. By law, Ranma is airen."

"He is my fiancé by agreement of our families before we were born," declared Akane. "He's my fiancé! No matter what he looks like." Barry's eyebrow rose. That last sounded familiar. Was she taking a page from Ranma's declaration to the Golden Pair?

"Ranma? Why did...?" A new voice suddenly broke in. "Goodness!" Nodoka walked in, followed by a suddenly nervous Genma. "What's going on?" She eyed the tall Nagasameru and her choice of weapon with interest.

"Oh, kami! Is _she_...?" Mirotomanya-san quavered.

"Nah, that's my Mom!" Barry went over to peck her on the cheek. "Though I can see why ya might think she's one of the girls here!"

"Why, Ranma!" Nodoka blushed. "How sweet! Who is this?"

Barry looked pained. "Momma... This is Mirotomanya Hotaru-san and his daughter, Nagasameru-san. She's..." she grimaced and shrugged.

"_Another_ one?" Nodoka sighed. Her face hardening, she turned back to her husband, who inconveniently vanished in the meantime. "Where did he go?"

"The man in the white gi?" asked Nagasameru, who broke off staring at the changed boy to answer. "Father, wasn't he the man who gave us directions here?"

"I'm surprised he showed up," smirked Barry in Ranma fashion.

Nodoka looked her 'son' over in distaste then glanced at Akane.

"Not this time," Akane said grinning at Barry. Shampoo looked like she wished she had the Jusenkyo curse of the invisible woman.

Mirotomanya-san leaned in close to Barry, taking in the lighter frame, the prominent front — made more so by Barry being in a cotton shirt rather than silk today — and the reduced height.

"You are...?"

"Ranma Saotome," answered the feminine form. "I can't really say I'm sorry this time, though." As the man stared, she added, "Ever hear of Jusenkyo?" Mirotomanya's eyes rolled back and he went down in a strange mimicry of Soun Tendo's first reaction to Ranma's condition. Barry managed to catch him just before he hit the floor. Soun walked in at that point and took in the situation.

"Ummm... Is something wrong?"

Mirotomanya came to and saw his daughter kneeling in wary watch beside him. Just out of arm's reach was assembled the 'loyal opposition', who knelt in a beautiful display of potential mayhem. This did not include the Saotome boy... ah, girl who sat in a loose masculine cross-legged sprawl. His... her mother was quietly chiding her for her lack of feminine modesty. Mirotomanya jerked upright.

"Nagasameru!" He jerked unsteadily to his feet. "I apologize for disturbing you and your house... I... Nagasameru, the car! We really must be going." He almost ran out the door.

His daughter lingered. "Thank you."

Barry snorted. "I should be thankin' you, fer not addin' ta the mess!" he said. "I hope yer boyfriend appreciates ya."

"Well... Let's just say, I appreciate Shinzoo a lot more now. Could I ask a question?"

"Ask away."

"How do you...?"

Barry summarized the Jusenkyo situation, climaxing it with some applied hot tea to change back to male. Nagasameru poked him in the chest then smiled lazily, causing both Akane and Shampoo to growl slightly and Kodachi to frown.

Ukyo snickered. "Having second thoughts?" she asked the girl.

"Ucchan!" Barry rolled his eyes at her and glared.

"You walked into Shampoo's swing, didn't you?" Nagasameru asked. "Just so she could knock you into the pond."

"Ya caught me out." He felt Shampoo jerk in surprise and caught her angry frown out of one eye.

"Thought so, I just didn't understand why before." She smiled slowly and smirked. "Well, If I decide my life is boring, I know where to come," Nagasameru said, rising to her feet. "I better go join my father before he comes back with talismans, a Shinto priest, a Buddhist priest, a Polynesian witch doctor..."

"He's a little nervous around magic?"

"You have _no_ idea." She picked up one of the cakes that Kasumi had prepared and bit into it in an enthusiastic, almost boyish manner. "Mmmmm… Now I'm sorry I've got to go," she complained. She eyed the other girls and smiled. "Whichever one of you wins, could you invite me to the wedding?"

"I think we can manage that," injected Nodoka. "You have been most gracious."

The farewell was short but formal and Ranma's latest fiancée was gone.

Barry exhaled explosively. "Yes! We dodged the bullet!"

There were general cheers.

"Ranma!" Nodoka chided. "She seemed a nice girl."

"That was a big sword, Momma!"

"It's not how large it is, but how skillfully it is wielded," Ranma's mother said blithely. She blushed in the dead silence that followed. "Oh, my! That didn't come out quite the way I meant it."

With the threat to Ranma dismissed, almost everyone decided to stay for lunch. Ukyo alone bowed out, sighting her business as an excuse. Nabiki followed her out, discussing finances and investment. Ranma, sent out for supplies, caught a glimpse of them in animated discussion as he zoomed out.

* * *

Nodoka stayed for dinner as well. Barry suspected it as a silent rebuke to her husband who would have to find his own dinner that evening. Escorting her home, he got 'girled' when he jumped in front of the splash caused by a car in a puddle. She turned to find Nodoka meters away and looking embarrassed.

Shaking water from her arms, she grinned at Ranma's mom. "I thought you could still move pretty fast."

"Oh, dear."

"I'm proud of ya, Mom." Barry said. "Set a date and we'll go jumpin' rooftops some evening."

Nodoka blushed and laughed. "Perhaps I will sometime. It would bring back some happy memories..."

"Pops has gotta be friggin' nuts!" Barry complained to her, making her blush. It was a very companionable trip to the Saotome house and hot water.

* * *

Barry arrived back at the Tendo's, only to be waved down by Nabiki at the front gate.

"Hey! What's up, Nabs?"

"I just wanted to compliment you on how well you handled the new fiancée today," she drawled watching him closely. "Almost masterful."

"Lucky, you mean," he replied. "Good thing Nagasameru's dad was afraid of magic."

"That was a plus," she agreed. "But you managed to get all of the fiancées together in one room, organized to cooperate with one another, to keep you out of trouble. That's what I meant by masterful."

"Heh! We're practically in each others laps all week long with Kodachi and Shampoo at Furinkan, and the ki trainin' we're all doing," he said, looking down and rubbing the back of his head. "I guess it was either cooperate or kill one another off!"

"Amazing," Nabiki drawled. "That's pretty much the way my contacts here described it. But you got between and set ground rules. Amazon Month is a good example. How did you get my sister to go along?"

"Huh?" Ranma looked puzzled. "Akane?"

"She's been fighting her love for Ranma for two years. She finally admitted it to herself. But now she's got you."

Nabiki moved slightly into what Barry recognized as a stance for a static defense. Nabiki? "You tell the other girls that and see how long the peace lasts," he pointed out to her.

She ignored him. "I don't know who you are, but you're not Ranma."

Barry's stomach flip-flopped. His mouth felt dry. It would be Nabiki to pull this. He tried to bluff his way out. "Nabs... You feelin' all right?"

"Nice recovery. All right... What did I do the day you arrived? Be very specific." Nabiki's arms were folded. But despite appearances, she was well balanced and prepared to defend herself.

"Let's see... You poked me in the tits, complained about me being a girl and sulked a lot."Nabiki looked shaken."Later, you and Kasumi nearly raced one another to see who could slough me off on Akane before the other."

"You're good, but..." Nabiki rallied.

"Nabs! Drop it!" Barry growled. "If I'm actin' funny, it's partly due to circumstances you helped put in motion."

"If that's true, I'll never forgive myself," the middle Tendo said quietly. "But you are an impostor. Ranma would never do things the way you did."

"What about Zakonari? You know, the other guy after the Ramen Takeout Race?" Barry protested.

"I do not consider using half the ramen we won, and all that disgusting groveling Daddy did, to be an adequate solution."

"Nabiki! Even I have to learn from my mistakes!"

"True. And Ranma always has... except for a few blind spots that you don't seem to have." She smirked grimly. "Ukyo agreed."

"I... see." Ki-vision flowed out in a rush and Barry quickly found Ukyo in Nabiki's room. She crouched, sitting very still on the bed, holding a set of headphones to her ears. A look closer to home revealed the transmitter and its power source that Nabiki wore tucked in her bra.

"Very gutsy, Nabiki," he said quietly. Two problems, not one, and no easy way out. "Let's say you're right. Are you saying that Akane, who loves Ranma, would put up with the situation for no good reason?"

"She might if she thought it would protect the rest of us, and if she had no hope for herself," Nabiki shot back. "It would tear her apart but she'd try."

"Yeah, she probably would," mused Barry thoughtfully. "So would Kasumi, I think, if it was needed." He stiffened. Ukyo was exiting Nabiki's bedroom. "Nabiki, I gotta run. We're not ready to include the Amazons in this and I'm bettin' Ucchan's headed for the Nekohanten."

Nabiki stiffened at the sudden confirmation his words lent her arguments, bringing her arms up to deflect an expected attack, but Ranma's guest stepped out of range.

"Trust yer sister, Nabs. Tell her, 'Barry said to _tell all_'." He vanished.

Nabiki stood there for long moments, heart pounding. She had been sure she was going to be attacked. To be honest, she wasn't sure that payment wasn't merely delayed. She snapped her fingers. If this Barry person was chasing Ukyo, she could call the Nekohanten by phone! She hurried into the house only to bump into Akane.

Akane saw the look on her face and the emotions playing openly across it. "You figured it out?" she asked quietly.

Nabiki hesitated. She looked at her sister, who suddenly seemed so vulnerable, like she had when their mother had died. "Akane, who or what is Barry? And what happened to Ranma?"

"We're not sure, Nabiki. That's one of the reasons for the ki-training. We're trying to find a way to get Ranma back. Barry's harder to explain, but I don't think he's any happier to be in this situation than I am."

"Who else knows about this?" Nabiki demanded, moving closer to the phone.

"Only Ryoga," she said. "Ranma was worried Cologne would take advantage of the situation. Barry's talked about telling Ukyo and Kasumi, but..."

"Oh, brother..." Nabiki slumped against a wall. She thought about what might be happening in the night. "Ukyo's on her way to the Nekohanten for help. I think I blew it."

"Barry?" Akane asked, looking around.

"He went after her."

* * *

Barry dodged a vicious swing of the mega-spat. "Watch it, Ucchan!" he shouted. "This isn't a suit! You cut me, you cut Ranma!"

"That's right, monster! Use Ranchan as a shield," she snarled. "I know he'd understand. He's better off dead than possessed." A subtle flip of a wrist sent three spat-urikins his way, but Barry slipped aside. His object was to herd her away from the Nekohanten until he could explain. "Get out of my way, if you don't want hurt!"

She bulled straight ahead and he met her, catching her main weapon as she swung, and using it as a bumper to drive her back against a chimney. She struck with her feet and knees as she wrenched at her weapon.

"Ucchan, we need to talk," Ranma's voice said.

Sobbing, she released her mega-spatula and, taking a double handful of her throwing weapons, used them to slash like claws. Her opponent was forced to jump back or be disemboweled. As she gained space, she hurled them hard and fast and gasped as her spatula spun like a propeller, sending her lethal projectiles clattering in the gutters. She leaped forward into close combat again unwilling to give him the opportunity to use her main weapon on her. She struck four successive blows, all blocked, then discovered she held her spatula again.

She swung around, desperately searching for her opponent, and found him, standing easily, one roof over.

"Who are you!" she screamed. In the streets nearby, dogs began to wake to the fact that something unusual was going on, bringing lights on in quiet houses with their urgent warnings.

"Barry Barlowe."

Ukyo's face twisted as she mouthed the unfamiliar name. "Barry? Barlowe?"

"Were you expecting Micklepoop, the Zombie King? Get real!"

"What happened to Ranma?"

"I wish I knew. I fell off one horse and found myself saddled with another," Barry said sadly.

"What! You think this is funny?"

Barry suddenly was leaning and dodging, as more spat-urikins zipped past. Something needed to be done to diminish his threat in Ukyo's eyes. Suddenly, he was plucking the buzzing projectiles out of the air.

Ukyo had not been static in her attack. She used the rain of weapons as cover for her move past the young man. She gained one rooftop, then another, then bounced off a firm male chest and slid along the tiles of the rooftop on the rebound. A hand gripped her wrist, stopping the gut-wrenching chill of an impending fall, and pulled her to her feet. At the other end of the hand was the false Ranma. Ukyo's eyes bugged as he presented her with a bouquet of spatulas she had thrown.

Cursing, she slapped them aside. "You're just toying with me!"

Barry found himself under assault from her mega-spatula again and sighed. At least she hadn't brought any flour bombs, or Konatsu. She probably hadn't felt Nabiki's theory held much water. He stood his ground as Ukyo got wilder and wilder in her growing fear and anger. Barry, as Barry, would have been mincemeat long before this. If he had needed to deal with this when he first came here, Ukyo would have been seriously hurt as Ranma's training responded to the aggression rather than the person. Now, he tried to find some way to reach her, not merely to stop her violence but to try to ease her pain and fear. It was a violent mirror of Akane's emotions and every second brought greater doubt and greater self-loathing for putting her through this.

Ukyo suddenly felt buffeted, as if the wind had become alive and sentient. She felt her mega-spatula torn from her hands and dove for her throwing spats in the twin bandoleers. She came up empty. Ten meters away, the false Ranma dropped her weapons to the rooftop.

"Ukyo, please... Let's talk."

She turned and ran. Barry cursed and followed, heart lurching as she took terrible risks to cut down the distance between herself and the supposed sanctuary of the Nekohanten. When he caught up with her, she turned and tore into him with such desperate violence that he couldn't break off and both fell from a fortunately low roof into the alley below. Barry took the brunt of the impact, which only allowed her to get in a quick solid strike that brought a hot flash of pain along his ribs.

Desperate now himself, he slammed her against the wall and pinned her there as he tried to regain his breath. He positioned himself slightly sideways, one leg bent and hooking across her legs to prevent her from kicking, and her arms caught at the elbows to keep her from punching or clawing him with her fingernails. Stymied in every other way, she snapped at him with her teeth, wrenching at her restraints and crying wordlessly.

Barry was sickened. It was obvious what Ukyo thought. Her mind wasn't prepared to accept the truth. He tried to catch his breath. The tremble in her limbs was not simply fear, but was the result of Ukyo surpassing her physical limits. It was obvious she expected the worst.

Ukyo screamed, as the body that held her helpless suddenly seemed to vanish. She bounced painfully on her hands and knees as her thrashing propelled her from the alley wall to the pavement. She blinked back tears and lurched to her feet seeking her assailant once more, but of Barry Barlowe there was no sign.

"Ukyo, I'm sorry. Do what you have to do. I won't chase you anymore. I won't hurt someone Ranma cares for," the voice whispered in the still air of the alley. The cacophony of barking dogs that had followed their running battle began to die away. In the silence that followed, Ukyo fell back to her knees and wept, unaware of her surroundings. A scuffle and a yelp brought her head up, as a shadowy figure moved into the semi-light, an aggressive gesture sending a pair of other shadows scurrying away. Her spatula and a handful of the smaller spat-urikins clattered on the street near her feet. "Be well, Ukyo Kuonji." The shadow was gone again.

Painfully, Ukyo gathered her property and leaped for the roof edge, so near exhaustion that she almost didn't get enough height to pull herself up. She lay there, recovering, listening for some sign that she was not alone. Rising painfully to her feet, she leapt to the next roof, then the next, gathering speed. The Nekohanten was now only four blocks away, on the rise by the walkway over the canal. Barry watched her go sick at heart. It looked like they'd be dealing with the Chinese a lot sooner than he'd hoped. He turned back to the Tendo dojo. No sense in making them search for him.

* * *

He found Nabiki and Akane by the koi pond and dropped down beside them.

"Ukyo?" Akane asked quietly.

"I had to let her go."

"Had to?" Nabiki asked, disbelief evident in her tone and posture. Barry shuddered.

"She wouldn't listen. I would have had to drag her here by force," he said, feeling suddenly dirty. "I couldn't do that to Ukyo."

"Why not?" Nabiki pressed, but stopped when Barry turned away. She would have sworn he was about to get sick.

"We'll deal with the Chinese when they come. I'm going to bed."

* * *

Barry spent a restless night; his dreams plagued with imagery he rejected and waking moments filled with nausea over the way the confrontation with Ukyo had gone. He avoided Akane, though he was aware of her presence at least once through the night, on his way to 'worship the porcelain god'. Toward dawn, he slept finally, exhausted, only to awaken at the feel of cold steel at his throat.

Ukyo stood over him, her mega-spat firmly positioned to crush or cut his throat at the slightest wrong move. Her eyes were bloodshot, her hair tousled and dirty. Her grip on her weapon was strong and sure.

"Ukyo... You look as bad as I feel."

"You wanted to talk. Now's your chance," she said bluntly.

"Remember when Ranma went on the training trip?" he began. "It was to deal with me. Somehow, I got thrown in Ranma's body and started taking over at inconvenient times." Barry swallowed, very aware of the edge of the spatula. He quickly summarized the time up to finding Ukyo, dealing with the need to research and hunt for a way to return the young man to his body and life here, and the frustration in being interrupted by Ranma-esque situations. He spoke as honestly as he could, describing who and what he was and what he longed for. Barry couldn't tell if he reached her or not. The pressure at his throat remained constant.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Ukyo growled. "Why the act around Shampoo?"

"C'mon, Ucchan!" he said hoarsely as she pressed down a little.

"You don't have the right to call me that!"

"Ukyo... Shampoo was there! They're always drugging him or using magic. I didn't want to be carted off because they found me easier to deal with!"

"What's going on?" Akane walked in, clad in her pajamas. "Ukyo, be careful!"

"Ya gotta admit this is better 'n finding Shampoo in here, tomboy," Barry choked out. "Not so hard, Ukyo!"

"Barry, shut up!" Akane snapped. "Ukyo, you kill him and we'll never get Ranma back."

"It's only just dawn, dammit!" groaned Nabiki, padding in, in her bunny slippers and pajamas. "You kept me up all night!" She shook her finger at Barry in admonishment.

"If you set your damn bugs to wake you up every time I move, it serves you right!" Barry grumbled back at her, relieved as the okonomiyaki chef let up a little.

"You were listening in?" Ukyo demanded of her ally.

"Of course," Nabiki replied, yawning and rubbing the back of her head. "He told you some things I didn't know, but it's basically the same story I got from Akane last night." She stretched and turned her torso side to side to limber up. Suddenly, she looked sharply at Ukyo. "I gather you didn't talk to Shampoo or Cologne then."

"Do you trust him?" demanded Ukyo.

"Do I trust anyone?" countered Nabiki.

There was a long pregnant pause.

"Why is everyone in Ranma's room again?" Soun demanded. "Oh, hello, Ukyo. Are you angry at Ranma for some reason?"

Ukyo glared and then lifted her spatula, reversing and grounding it on the floor with a thump. "You could say that, Tendo-san," she growled.


	33. Trial Run

**Guest Ki: Chapter 32**

_**Trial Run**_

The doorbell at the Hibiki residence rang shrilly in the morning light. _Brrringg_!

"I'm coming!"

Ryoga was not a late riser. But most days he just barely managed to find the kitchen and make himself some breakfast. He was mumbling around some toastas hetried to orient himself. Normally, his dog, Shirokuro, would help him find the door, but he had let her out an hour ago to take care of some canine business and she had not yet returned. He put his hand to the wall.

Akari had helped him arrange furniture in an attempt to make it easier to find his way around the house. She treated it like a problem in maze logic, moving furniture away from the wall so he could keep one hand in contact as he traveled. Gritting his teeth, he began to search for the door.

"The bathroom?" he said startled. "Oh, well, since I'm here..."

_Brrringg_! the doorbell reminded him.

"I'm coming!" Ryoga moved along. "My bedroom… Wish I'd found that last night."

"The attic? I didn't know we had a... What's this?" He reached into a box. "My old stuffed bear! I wondered what happened to..."

_Brrringg_!

"_Coming_, dammit!" He hurried along the wall. "Here's a door. Mom and Dad's room." He pushed on past. "The kitchen. Didn't I just...? Oh, two doors!" This was a great revelation to the young man; his kitchen had two doors. He opened a door and stared down some dark steps. "Basement, I think..."

_Brrringg_! _Brrringg_! the doorbell insisted.

"Coming! Jeez, I hope this is..."

It was. Shirokuro pranced into the house, leaving him looking at...

"Oh! Hi, Buh-buh… uh... Ranma." Ranma was red-haired, drenched, grumpy and followed by Akane, Ukyo and Nabiki. Which was why Ryoga quickly corrected the name he was about to call the pigtailed person.

Ukyo looked at him in disgust. "Never mind the act, pork butt!" she snorted at him. "I know all about your dirty little secret!"

Ryoga blanched and retreated. They followed him in. "Were you waiting long?"

"Nah!" said Barry. "Your dog was ringing the bell when we came up." Once in the house, she stripped off the dripping shirt, only to have Ryoga turn away, a finger to his nose. "Ryoga! You know who and what I am!" she exclaimed in disgust. "Can I borrow some clothes? If ya got any of yer old stuff... " Ukyo smacked him. "Ow!"

"Can the Ranma act in private, Barry-baka!" she growled. "How Akane ever put up with it..."

"Ukyo..." Barry's eyes flashed then went dark. She turned away from the 'cute' fiancée. "Nabiki and Ukyo figured it out last night, Ryoga. They're part of the team now."

"We'll be the judge of that," snapped Ukyo. She turned her glare on Ryoga. "So this is the 'Get Back Ranma' Club?" He flinched. "How could you let me go all this time without telling me?" She screamed into his face. "I trusted you!" Ryoga started to stutter a reply.

"Leave him alone, Ukyo," Akane said in a weary voice. "And stop beating on Barry. You've been abusing him all morning; and frankly, I'm getting tired of it."

"Really," sneered Ukyo. "So says the girl with the mallet!"

Akane flinched. "Does my stupidity excuse yours?" she replied rallying.

Ukyo spun with a snarl, only to stop dead as Barry was suddenly there, Ranma's girl-type, naked from the waist up carrying her sodden shirt had a woebegone expression on her face. Ukyo stepped back doubtfully.

"Don't fight Akane, Ukyo. You'll lose," she said. The sad expression turned thoughtful. "That's a pretty good name, though. Maybe we should use it?"

"Ba-ka! I was being sarcastic! So far as I'm concerned you're nothing but a –"

"Ukyo! He's explained – "

"I can take it, Akane," Barry sighed, depressed again. "It's only fair after what I did to her." The temporary redhead suddenly leaned back as her space was invaded. Ryoga went nose-to-nose with Barry.

"Just what did you do to Ukyo," he growled. Barry didn't answer, but did catch her balance. Ryoga's fists clenched and his aura sprang into visibility, green and wrathful. His violence was interrupted.

"Are you planning to beat him to death with that teddy bear?"

Ryoga started and half-turned away from his target. Nabiki pointed to his hand. He looked down. The stuffed bear seemed to smile at him mockingly. He glanced up and Nabiki smiled and swayed her hips ever so slightly. Barry forgotten, his eyes widened and he froze, cursing his weakness, his skin burning with the blush his memory inspired. 'Don't you... _want_ it?'

"It's... Heh-heh! It's the _dog's _toy!" He tossed his old beloved bear in Shirokuro's general direction. It bounced off her head and dropped to the floor. She stared at it, clueless.

"I see she's quite attached to it," giggled his tormentor, keeping a lock on his eyes.

He winced as strong fingers clamped on his ear. "Ryoga, you jackass," Ukyo growled, yanking him around. "Stop ogling Nabiki!"

"Were you ogling me, Ryoga?" the latter asked innocently.

"No, of course not!" He winced, reaching up to catch Ukyo's hand before his ear came off. "I wouldn't do such a thing!"

"Too bad," Akane's sister sighed dramatically. "Don't you think so, Ukyo?"

"Huh?" They stared at her, frozen in mid-struggle for Ryoga's ear.

"I mean, Ukyo, you wouldn't mind being ogled by a cute guy like Ryoga, would you?" She smiled at them both and looked them over. They jumped apart as if their mutual contact burned, and Nabiki snickered wickedly.

"_Nabiki_!" they shouted in unison. They glanced at one another, then at the still-quiet Barry. Suddenly realizing they had been sidetracked, they refocused on Akane's sister.

"Did I say something?" she asked, eyebrows raised. She swayed closer to Ryoga. "You two act like you've got a secret," she sing-songed.

Ryoga's eyes bulged. "Nabiki Tendo," he roared, "I... I..."

"Have a dirty mind," she finished for him. "Must be the neighborhood. You should have seen the expression on your neighbor's face when she saw four pretty girls march up to your door."

"Oh, no!" he groaned. "Not Mrs. Nabunichi?"

"So, you get a reputation," Nabiki shrugged.

"I don't _want_ a reputation!" he shouted, purpling. He glanced over at Ukyo for support and saw that she and Akane were encouraging Shirokuro to play tug-of-war with his old bear. He winced.

"Nabiki, stop tormenting Ryoga," sighed Barry. "We've got work to do." She turned to Ryoga and jerked her head toward the kitchen. It produced side affects in exposed anatomy and Ryoga.

Ryoga grabbed his nose and grimaced. "Do you have to bounce those things in my direction?"

Barry looked down and sighed. "Sorry. Ya got hot water, P-chan?"

Ryoga, who was about to comment on Barry's mood, frowned. "Do you have to do that?"

"What?"

"Don't call me P-chan!" he thundered.

"Okay, pork... Never mind. Sorry, Ryoga." Barry shuffled off to the kitchen.

"Yeah, right," the lost boy growled sarcastically.

"Really! It's reflex, Ryoga," Barry said from the kitchen. The voice changed in mid-sentence. "I didn't even know I was doing it." A bare-chested male Ranma wandered back out of the kitchen.

"Oh, really." Ryoga didn't hide his doubt.

"Really," said Barry innocently. "That un-cute tomboy over there..." (WACK!) A book bounced off Barry's face. "...does it all the time."

Akane had a hand to her mouth, surprised by her own actions, her anger fading to embarrassment. "I...I..."

"S'okay, Akane. I shouldn't have done that." He tossed the book softly back and rubbed between his eyes.

"Barry, what did you do to Ukyo?" Ryoga was torn between the pain the two felt. Obviously, whatever Barry had done hadn't really harmed the 'cute' fiancée. He watched the face go still and closed again.

"Not my story to tell. Sorry."

Ryoga turned toward Ukyo and winced again. Shirokuro was shaking the stuffing out of his bear. Akane sighed and moved away, dissatisfied by the entertainment.

"Drop it Ryoga," she warned. "Have you turned up anything new on our search?"

Ryoga answered absently. "Not much," he admitted. He looked between Ukyo and Akane, and decided whatever Barry had done wasn't as bad as Barry seemed to think it was.

"What precisely are you trying to accomplish here?" Nabiki inquired.

"Bring Ranma back," Akane flatly stated. "And keep anyone who might take advantage of the situation in the dark."

"Hey!" Ukyo protested.

"We were mainly worried about the Chinese contingent, Ukyo."

"Sure you were!" Ukyo snapped.

Akane interrupted Ukyo. "Barry and Ranma had decided that the best solution to Barry was to visit temples, shrines and libraries and see if anyone had ever had this happen before, and what was done about it," She glanced at the very subdued Barry, then at her sister and the chef.

Barry cut in, wearily. "Then Ranma and I stumbled on ki-vision. It wasn't long before Akane arrived at the lake. It's a method of visualizing the energy signature of all existing things." The pig-tailed figure's focus became distant. "It's much more reliable than the instinct Ranma developed as a 'danger sense'. And it allows you to be more interactive with external ki sources because you can see how your own ki influences them. With a little work you can stimulate those sources by ki alone."

"Stimulate?" Ukyo asked suspiciously.

For some reason, Barry looked terribly embarrassed at the question.

"Um, I... yeah," he floundered weakly. "Ahhh… Anway, there are three types of ki techniques from a practical point of view: The most commonly used methods are designed to strengthen your body and increase your reaction time. I call those 'Empowering Ki Techniques'. Then Ryoga here uses a lot of what I call 'Resonant Ki Techniques'. His iron cloth techniques and the Bakusai Tenketsu all depend on using your ki to get the attention of ki in another object, then convince the ki to do what you want. These first two methods don't put much of a drain on the body's resources and probably account for 90 of all ki techniques used by any martial arts discipline. That's Ranma's assessment, not mine, by the way."

"Get on with it," Ukyo warned. "How is that supposed to get Ranma back?"

"The last type of ki technique is the Projective Ki Technique," Barry hurried on. "The Shi Shi Hokudan, the Moko Takabishi, Soun's Demon Head and the Hiru Shoten Hai all involve projective ki to one degree or another or are a combination of projective and resonant ki techniques. Ranma thought it was more likely that a Projective Technique was more likely to be the key to getting me home; of 'projecting' me back into my body. As a side benefit, he discovered how to create simple ki-objects like swords, staffs and ribbons of projective ki…" He glanced up at Ukyo and saw increasing skepticism and anger.

"But what plan did Ranma suggest for sending you back?" Ukyo gritted.

"We never quite got worked that out."

"What the hell _were_ you doing, then?" Ukyo squawked.

"I'm sorry, Ukyo," Barry said tightly. "He was teaching me not to take someone's head off accidentally when they screamed at me like you're doing." He met her suspicious glare solidly, forced her to blink then looked away and continued, "After he decided I was reasonably safe to be around, we started trying to separate us. That's where we got into the projective ki business.

"At Himamashi's we fought against Happosai together. Ranma was drunk. The old fart was crazy. Because I wasn't running things, I wasn't as affected as Ranma was, but we both agreed that Happi had to be stopped. As parts of Ranma's control shut down, I took over for him. I think by the time Ranma saw the cat-aura in the mirror I was in control of most of the action. I was so focused on Happosai…" He shook his head. "It was like hearing a door slam. I went a little crazy then, and Akane splashing me with water was all that kept me from killing the little wart." He reached out and plucked one of Ukyo's spatulas out of her bandoleers then rubbed his fingers across it before holding it up. "Now, Nekoken, or something very like it, is on full time."

Nabiki looked closely at the blade of the tool, then the metal shavings on the tabletop. The spatula now bore the familiar kanji of 'Ucchan's' stenciled through the stainless steel. "So why aren't you all freaked out?"

"I like cats." Barry admitted.

Ukyo snatched the spatula and ran her fingers over the metal and swallowed deeply. What it implied about Barry, and what he could have done to here, she wasn't prepared to accept yet. "If you're in neko full-time, can Ranma even get back?" she demanded. "He might just sense the cat and go back into hiding." Her voice was much more gracious.

"We thought of that," Barry admitted. "One of the first things we considered – but I don't know how to shut it off – still don't."

"Okay, what if you got out first?" the chef proposed. "You might just take the nekoken with you or at least let it go back to normal."

"A body isn't a suit of clothes, Ukyo," Barry objected. "Maybe if I knew how I got here to begin with – but it's not something I've ever tried to do." Barry raised a finger to halt her imaginative progress and his expression took on a slightly more positive cast. "But thanks to Ryoga here that may soon change."

"But… You mean there _is_ a way you can leave Ranchan's body?" Ukyo squeaked. "Why haven't you tried it? Maybe all he needs is a chance? You might be blocking his return. Oh, maybe not deliberately, but it could be, couldn't it?"

"Hold on! Ryoga just found the scroll last week. We didn't know what we had till last 'Study Session'."

"And…?"

Barry looked troubled. "I'd hate to raise false hopes."

"Are you afraid to try?" she added in saccharin tones.

"Of course I'm afraid, Ukyo." He drummed his fingers on the tabletop. "If I screw up badly enough, Ranma and I are both dead, afterall." The drumming reminded him of hoof beats in the academy back home. Finally, in the lengthening silence, he smirked slightly. "I guess there's nothing stopping us from checking it out, ne?"

They cleared Ryoga's dining room table. Barry insisted on certain preparations which he promised to explain. After some preparation, Barry, in Ranma's girl-type, lay down on the table.

"Ya got the hot and cold water there? Good. Akane, Ryoga, you watch on with ki vision. Even if it doesn't work this time, we might get something for the next try."

"Don't you expect this to work?" Ukyo growled.

"Few attempts meet success on the first try, Ukyo" Barry said calmly. "Akane, summarize for Ukyo what our experience has been concerning this technique."

"Ukyo, we've all heard or read the stories about holy men sending their spirits to warn the righteous of danger. Then there are the stories where magicians have used something similar to harm their enemies or help their friends. Barry says where he's from they call it astral projection." Akane's voice had become crisp as she summarized.

"When we found it," Ryoga offered quietly, "It was sort of by accident."

"It looked like an afterthought scribed on the bottom of a chronicle like we're talking about, from a little shrine over in Shinjuku," Akane continued. "The story was about a former abbot who went out of his body to visit the home of the gods. The scroll claimed to be historical and Ryoga spent six evenings copying down the high points."

"Toward the end, I was so tired, I didn't realize I had copied down a few verses of poetry tacked to the end of the story."

"The poem, when read, evokes a burst of emotional responses, under the right circumstances," Barry said. "Akane was practicing her ki-vision while listening to Ryoga and I hash over what he'd found. Ryoga was still dead tired and simply kept reading when he got to the end of the narrative."

"I found myself looking over my own shoulder," Akane finished quietly. At Ukyo and Nabiki's shocked looks she added, "It was only for a moment. Then I was back in my body."

"I think we may have stumbled on a teaching method used in this temple," Barry suggested. "The storyhelps you getin the right frame of mind and the poem triggers the technique. But if you're using ki-vision when the trigger is read, you're already close to what's needed."

Ryoga chipped in, "The monks let me copy the scroll. I don't think anyone there knew what it was. Maybe somebody died before they could pass on the method of teaching the technique. Now as far as they know, it's just a story."

Akane looked at Barry fretfully. "This will be the first time Barry's deliberately tried it,"

Ukyo was frowning at Ryoga's notes and the poem.

"Then what's all this for and why are you a girl?" demanded the 'cute' fiancée.

"I just thought we should cover all bases," Barry said. "If Ranma doesn't come around right away, tripping the curse might act as a wake-up call." Barry pointed down her female form. "If there's a chance I might take the Nekoken with me, let's set it up that Ranma comes back male. . If the nekoken is still active, when I'm clear of the body, one of you splash him with hot water. The change should snap him out of it." Barry settled herself as comfortably as possible on the flat surface. "If it looks like I'm taking Jusenkyo with me, I'll slide back in to let Ranma change back to male." She grinned and winked at Ryoga. "Wouldn't want Ranma to wind up dating material for Kuno or what's his name — Mikado!"

"Eeuw!" all the girls chorused. Ryoga shuddered.

"I'm ready with the hot water," Ryoga said holding a pitcher thick with condensation.

"'Excuse me. Ukyo, you apply the water." Barry made a face at Ryoga and shook her head. "Partly to test if the curse is still active afterward, part to act as backup in case we're wrong and I should have started out male, after all."

Everyone moved into position. Akane stood on Barry's right, Ryoga, his left, Nabiki took up a station at the table's foot and Ukyo at the head. Barry nodded to Ryoga who positioned the poem where Barry could read it. "Be careful with the ki-vision at this stage," Barry joked. "Heck of a thing if we all projected and got mixed up in getting back to our bodies." The redhead took a deep breath. As she released it she muttered the poem to herself, allowing the restraints on her ki-vision to fall away. As the syllables rang in her ears, Barry felt her ki begin to react to the poem's triggers.

"He's pulling back into his chakras," Akane said clinically, eyes closed.

"How dangerous is this, Akane?" Nabiki asked cooly.

"I wouldn't think it was too dangerous," she said distantly. "But the scroll talked about warding from outside influences. So I suppose there's some risk."

Ukyo snorted.

"Too bad it didn't say anything about how the warding was done. I got a couple of good luckofuda from the monks hanging around, but I don't know what good they'll be." Ryoga frowned. His chakras are pulling together.Is this how it happened to you, Akane?."

"I don't know. It was very fast for me," Akane replied. "This doesn't… feel right."

Nabiki looked troubled. Around Ranma, what could go wrong often did. "Just what are you saying?"

"We don't think this is working," Ryoga stated. "Besides, If Ranma were still in there with Barry, he'd of found a way to let us know, or we'd see a doubled ki signature like Ranma said they had together." He flinched from Ukyo who looked ready to launch a tantrum at him and licked his lips. "Barry's out, Ukyo. Splash Ranma with the hot water."

Water splashed. The body before them remained female.

"Oh shit! There's something's wrong, isn't there?" exclaimed Nabiki.

Ukyo splashed some water on her own arm, testing it and yelped. "It's hot. What's going on?" She liberally poured the water over Ranma's body, which remained female.

Akane suddenly reached out and touched the body in several places. "Ranma's not breathing, there's no heartbeat... I think he's dying!"

"_Barry_!"screamed four voices.

Barry floated above, watching. Working entirely from the ki-awareness he's learned, he didn't 'see' the flare of Jusenkyo as Ukyo applied the hot water. Drifting like smoke, he watched as people began to panic. The colors of their concern were evident. Ranma's body, strangely, was nearly invisible. He couldn't make out its form to tell if this were working or not, and he couldn't hear them, of course. He drifted over, letting his aura faintly overlap Akane's. Her grief and fear were immediately evident. Something was definitely wrong.

He returned to the table but couldn't find anything he could lock onto. If Ranma's body was still there, he was shut out. He reached back to Akane, then to Ukyo and Ryoga. He couldn't reach them. He even tried Nabiki in desperation, but to no avail. As ghostly as Ranma's body was to his senses, it was getting more so by the minute. With a shock, he realized that the problem was on his end. He was beginning to sublimate in some way. He groped for the body in panic and hesitated. Where was Ranma?

"Get out of the way," Nabiki said crossly. "You'd think a bunch of martial artists would know some CPR!" She thumped Ranma on the chest and told Akane how to breathe for the body.

Barry watched the shadowy perception of the body grow more definite, but still too tenuous to attach to. It looked like they were both dying then. What a stupid way to go! Poor Ukyo, she hadn't really recovered from her wandering yet. This might destroy her. She would blame herself for Ranma's death, and maybe his own as well. There wasn't anyway he could reach them... or was there?

Ki radio. Yes, he used it as a speaker to try to talk to them separately at first. He focused. There was something else they could do, if he could just get through.

"It's not working," Akane yelled.

"Keep doing it!" snarled Nabiki.

Ukyo stood back in shock. This couldn't be happening. She only wanted Ranma back. This just wasn't fair...

"ssssssss...Rrrrrrmmmmmm." The odd sounds seemed to come from midair.

"What was that?" snapped Nabiki, still pumping rhythmically at the redhead's chest. She wished absently that they'd thought to have Barry put a shirt on.

Ryoga closed his eyes. "Barry's still with us, but he's real faint," he reported. "I think he's trying to talk to us like he did at the lake."

"zzzzzzshshhock! Hrt!" they heard faintly. "SHSHSHSshshaw-kkkT! HAH-rt!"

"English, if he's doing what I think he's doing," Ryoga muttered, running through his vocabulary. "Shock hurt? Shock heart?" He snapped his fingers. "Don't hospitals use some kind of electric thing to restart hearts?"

"Difibulator," remarked Nabiki, grunting with her efforts. "We don't have one."

"Yes, we do," exclaimed Ryoga. He pushed Nabiki aside and placed his large hands just under the body's breasts. Akane jumped back and Ukyo boggled at the sight of Ryoga groping Ranma. Then, the body convulsed as power rocked through the fine-boned frame.

Akane went back to mouth to mouth, while Ryoga listened for a heartbeat.

"Again!" Power surged and Ranma's body arched into a bow before slamming back to the tabletop. A leg cracked and the table twisted sideways sending the body, Ryoga and Akane sliding to the floor.

"No! No," shouted Ukyo despairingly. She stopped dead. The sprawled form suddenly convulsed again, shifting to male and beginning to cough.

"Ranma? Barry?" There was no answer.

"His heart is beating," said Nabiki, her ear to his chest.

"We can see that with ki-vision, Nabiki," Ryoga said, pulling himself out from under the remains of the table.

Akane was holding the body's shoulders. "His ki is real fuzzy, I think it hurt him doing this."

"Who?" Ukyo demanded.

"Barry," came the whisper. "Sorry, Ukyo... Akane."

The breathing became deeper and more even.

"I think he's passed out," someone observed.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Barry thrashed awake, throwing off a quilt and coming to his feet in a rush, to stand panting in a strange room. He patted his front, then looked around for a mirror. There were none. He looked at his arms and clothes, the futon on the floor and then nodded. The room seemed chilly to him. Shivering, he wrapped the quilt about his shoulders and moved over to the door. Ranma's guest looked out on a room that was an absolute mess. Akane and Ukyo were standing in the center of the room yelling at each other while Ryoga sat disconsolately on the floor. Nabiki had found a neutral corner and was staying carefully in it.

"Why is it my fault that Ranma's missing?" snarled Akane.

"He was with you last! If you hadn't got involved in that perverted wrestling match, none of this would have happened," bellowed Ukyo.

Akane punched a hole in the wall in exasperation. "I didn't have a choice. I was challenged!" She poked a finger at Ukyo and countered, "That doesn't excuse your pushing Barry into almost getting them both killed."

"Yeah, right," Ukyo sneered. "I doubt your resident demon was really risking anything!"

"I don't believe this," muttered Ryoga.

"I do," spoke quietly Barry quietly as he stepped into the room. "They haven't actually attacked one another, have they?"

"Why do you have to believe he's evil?" countered Akane. "If you judge him by everything else he's done, he couldn't be!"

"Who wouldn't be tempted to keep Ranma's youth, power and skill?" Ukyo pointed out, smashing a lamp with her spatula.

"Someone whose heart is elsewhere, Ukyo." Barry flinched as the girls turned on him with almost savage expressions on their faces. For a moment, he was sure they were both going to grind him into paste, in the heat of their rage and frustration. Akane stood down first and looked guilty. Ukyo was slower to cool. "Her name is Gwen, Ukyo, and she is my wife, my lover and my best friend," he added. "I want to be with her, but not at Ranma's expense."

"Yeah, right. You're a such paragon of virtue," Ukyo sneered.

He chuckled and his tongue moistened his lips. "I doubt Gwen would agree," he replied finally. Ukyo lowered her spatula, sudden doubt in her eyes and body language.

Akane asked, "Are you… Is Ranma alright?"

"I guess." Barry looked around. "Real neighborly, girls; you've managed to destroy Ryoga's house for him." Akane and Ukyo looked blankly at him then turned their regard to their surroundings, suddenly becoming aware of the devastation.

"Ahhh… Oops?" Ukyo groaned, paling.

"Ryoga, I'm sorry!" wailed Akane.

Ryoga rose wearily to his feet. He looked around at the slashed and bashed walls and splintered furniture. Even some of the tatami were shredded. He met Barry's eyes. "Really, it's all right," he said resignedly. "I mean, I've damaged the dojo and both your places often enough. I guess it's only fair..."

"Girls?" They looked at Barry. "Dojo rules." Akane and Ukyo traded looks and nodded. It was so automatic by now, that the latter forgot to question his authority.

"'Dojo rules'?" Nabiki asked.

"You break it, you fix it." Barry explained as the two girls began to straighten the room up and tally the damage. "Actually, in the dojo we use it to punish failure. It's not the person who throws you through the wall who broke it, but the one who got thrown."

"And collateral damage?"

"'You broke it, you fix it'," he grinned.

It took some time, but finally everything was assigned except one piece, a dark porcelain vase with a fanciful scene of a mountain and a tree in white. Cracked into six or seven pieces, it was still identifiable.

"Did you do it? I didn't do it," said Ukyo.

"Not me," Akane said doubtfully. "And Barry gets to fix the table."

Barry had already checked the table. A good solid dowel, some glue and it would be fine. "Whose is it, then?" he asked.

"I suppose that would be mine," Nabiki said grudgingly. "I knocked it over when I was avoiding the discussion." She looked at the shards and sighed. "Do you know where I can get you a new one, Ryoga?"

"Not really," he said, looking over the remains. "I picked it up somewhere. It was in pieces already, Nabiki. You can see where I glued it back together. I just thought my mom would like it." He sighed.

Nabiki hung her head. She hated to get her hands dirty, but... "'I broke it, I fix it'," she sighed. "I'll take it with me and glue it together back at school."

"You don't have to," Ryoga said.

"Yes, I do." She smiled and looked him over. "Besides, it's for your mom. I can appreciate that."

Ryoga suddenly smiled shyly at Nabiki. He dealt with Nabiki, the schemer, for so long that he didn't know how to deal with her when she was behaving in an honest, humane manner. The fact that she was also a smart, pretty young woman thundered home again and made him blush.

Nabiki was no fool. She might not seriously consider Ryoga as husband material, but she was very aware that this cute, very strong man was looking at her favorably. Used to men showing physical interest only to have it replaced by wariness and distrust, having the opposite happen was very flattering.

Ukyo was very aware of the change in atmosphere and frowned. She broke their line of sight and presented a startled Ryoga with a list of the damages that were her responsibility. "You will send me the bill for this? I don't like owing anything to anyone." Ryoga jerked back as if he'd been slapped and stared at her.

Ukyo absorbed the hurt look and reviewed what she had just said. She suddenly realized what that sounded like, especially with regard to her behavior of the past hour and considering what she reallyowed him. "I'm sorry, Rych—!" She trembled, eyes huge, then broke like a startled deer. The door banged as she left at high speed.

Barry started after her, only to be stopped by a shake of the head from Akane who slipped out the door to track and, if necessary, redirect Ukyo back to Ucchan's. Ryoga and Nabiki stayed frozen in place.

"Ukyo," whispered Ryoga.

"Will be fine. Trust Akane," Barry said.

"I'm missing something, aren't I?" murmured Akane's sister. Ryoga looked hard at her, suspicious, and she sighed. The mood was broken. "Barry, are you up to giving me an escort back to the university this evening?"

Barry glanced at her puzzled, cocked his head and answered, "I should be. Why?"

"In retrospect," Nabiki qualified, "I was thinking Ranko might express some displeasure with Nikki's actions. Having an out-of-town 'cousin' do the deed should dissuade Nikki from any future stupidities but keep him from looking closer to home, if he does get suspicious of my interest in the competition."

Barry grinned savagely. "I _really_ dislike perverts!"

Ryoga looked them both over and frowned. "What exactly are you planning, and why? You just found out about Barry and you're scheming with him already?"

"Barry's just helping me out a little, Ryoga," Nabiki said easily. Ryoga, suspicious, glazed over a little, in what Nabiki had come to recognize as an indication of use of the ki-vision. She sighed, exasperated as the hair literally rose on the back of his neck.

"What the hell happened to you, Nabiki?" he growled. "This has to do with that Nikki character?"

"Ryoga…" Nabiki frowned and then smiled wryly. "I get my revenge, my way; Okay?. Speaking of which: I believe my sister has been talking to you guys about an upcoming martial arts tournament it my school? Nikki thinks he's got the inside story on who's going to win. With a little help, I can… refute him." She gave him a lazy look. "You do want to help me refute him?"

"My pleasure." Ryoga met her eyes squarely and they smiled. Nabiki, flattered anew at this unusual attention, blushed. Ryoga turned to Barry, fire in his eyes. "I'm in. Nobody beats up girls when Ryoga Hibiki is around!" He struck a righteous pose, thumb jabbing at himself.

"Now if only my sister and her 'boyfriend' were more cooperative," Nabiki gave Barry a long look."

"Hey! You know what the deal is now!" Barry retorted.

"Just kidding," Nabiki smirked. "Still, you might reconsider. As I said before, the winner of each martial arts style receives a sports scholarship to the university. It's not a full scholarship, but it's very good. The events are karate, jujitsu, kendo, Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics, sumo and kyudo. As a bonus,everyone entering the competition hasaccess to the university grounds and equipment, subject to the needs and discretion of the faculty." She smiled at the calculating look that crossed Barry's face. "Even better, winnersget _full access_ just as if they were already students."

She glanced at Barry expectantly. "Nabiki, just how big is the university library and how extensive are their cultural and religious departments?"

"Ah, ha hah," Nabiki smirked. "The devil's in the details. I would have to say they're among the most extensive in Japan. Do I have your attention, now? Hmmm...?"

* * *

Ukyo ran blindly for a while before slowing and stopping at a relatively quiet little garden bordered by an ornamental wall. She looked through the stone fence-work at the even clipped lawn with its carefully shaped shrubs. She was on the outside looking in again. How could she be such a fool? She turned, angry and savage, as she felt someone land lightly not far away. It was Akane. Ukyo slumped. She tried to summon the anger and suspicion she felt earlier and failed. She turned and looked through the fence again. So cool, peaceful and inviting, but no more hers than Ranma or Ryoga. When would she learn?

"Ukyo..."

"I'm all right, Akane. I can find my way home from here."

"I'm sorry we didn't tell you before this."

Ukyo snorted, then sighed. "You guys were right, you know," she said finally. "The more people who know; the greater the chance that someone will say something at the wrong time."

"I guess." Akane didn't sound like she believed it.

They sat down not far apart against the wall of the garden. The silence grew oppressive to Ukyo after a while and she looked crossly at Akane. "Hey, you know that, regardless of what Barry is, Ranma will find some way to come back. He always has," she added harshly, "especially for you."

"Will he, Ukyo?" Akane replied hollowly. "I pushed him away for two years. I took out my fears on him and painted him with labels he didn't deserve. I blamed him for my lack of skill, for Kuno, Shampoo, Kodachi, you..." She took a ragged breath. "When I went to the lake, I had... expectations. You have no idea, Ukyo, no idea what his note to me implied."

"So there was a note?" Ukyo queried, her eyebrow rising. She blushed, remembering what she had attempted, only to end up with a blank note tablet.

"What was in it?"

"He told me where to meet him and that he was worried that the others might try to hurt me if they found out about my going. He said he chose the spot because it gave us the greatest advantage in a fight against the cursed and those opponents who depended on weapons."

"Me, in other words."

Akane nodded. "And Kuno, Ryoga and Kodachi. Mousse..."

Ukyo smiled slightly, her mood lightening. Perhaps, Ranma didn't feel so harshly toward her. "And…"

"I didn't know what to think. I mean it sounded good. Or bad, depending on how you looked at it. He just signed his name and added that I should burn the message when I was done reading it. Then I sat there and wished I hadn't, because I really wanted to figure out what he meant."

"He did write the note on the kitchen pad?" Ukyo prompted.

"Yes, and erased something where you would expect a closure to be. I _really_ wanted to find out what he wrote."

"And?"

Akane looked down and blushed.

"He finally chose," breathed Ukyo. "I don't know whether to laugh, cry, cheer or curse," she said.

"I…I don't really know that he... Ukyo, he diderase it, and Barry was around when he wrote it. They told me that sometimes emotions and memories would cross over to one another." Ukyo looked frankly skeptical. "When I got there, Ryoga had already arrived, I found out about Barry and thenabout Ryoga and P-chan."

Ukyo groaned despite herself. "You were the un-cute, macho chick at her worst?"

"Y-yes," Akane gulped. "It was pretty horrible. I was going to pack up and leave, but Ranma wouldn't let me. He said he owed it to my father at least to train me in the full school of Mutsabetsu Kakuto. I can't say we covered everything, but I'm probably as good as Ranma was just before you turned up."

And that had been plenty good. More than enough to match Ukyo, who had only maintained her skill in the Arts while waiting for Akane to alienate Ranma. "Bloody hell!" Ukyo exclaimed. How had Ranma done that? It should have taken years. "Still, it was what you always wanted."

"Was it?" Akane said quietly. "I thought so before; but I'd trade it all to have him back." She trembled in memory. "Then that night at Himamashi's... After the competition… We finally, almost kissed."

"What?" Ukyo was aghast. "You mean you've _never_ kissed him? I thought you'd at least… I mean when you guys faked being married… How did you never…?"

"By being a _stupid _un-cute macho chick, Ukyo," she said bitterly. "So _close_! Maybe he was drunk, or maybe having me say at the fight that I wanted him finally pushed the right button. Then Happosai went on his rampage and after that… it was too late." Bitter tears forced their way along the corners of her eyes. She blinked rapidly. "Too damn late!" She tucked her head against her knees and burst into sobs, disconsolate, rocking herself, the emotions she held within finally pouring out. After a moment, she felt an arm reach across her shoulder and hug her tightly and comfortingly.

At that moment, it could have been Kuno and it wouldn't have mattered. But it was Ukyo, and Akane hugged her friend and rival close and sobbed. Ukyo hugged back, all the while cursing her own stubbornness in ever imagining Akane had truly wanted out of that engagement. All the signs had been there had she bothered to look, Akane's jealousy, Ranma's constant defense of his fiancée against any and all odds, the exchanged glances. Whenever one of them was in trouble, the willingness to sacrifice everything... The list went on. And even if she had come to love him, at the time it had merely been a way out of an impossible revenge against a reluctant but unbeatable foe.

As Ukyo rocked Akane, tears running down her own face, she wondered if anyone would ever be there for her like that. She snorted again, blinking back the unwelcome saltiness. She had to stop thinking her prince would someday come. Cute or not, was she only one of the dwarves or the fairy godmothers? Advancing the story, but only to achieve happiness through the joy of others? Life wouldn't be so cruel!

She didn't believe it for a minute. So, they sat, each mourning their shattered dreams and prayed it would somehow turn out all right.

* * *

Barry looked up from putting the quilt away as the door opened and Akane and Ukyo returned. His body temperature was back to normal. He noticed the stains on the front of Ukyo's uniform and Akane's light yellow blouse. He glanced sharply up at their faces, which were too clean, and their eyes, which were red. He nodded. Even before he came here, he wouldn't have missed the signs of grief. "I'm sorry."

Ryoga was offering Nabiki a box he'd found — actually, Shirokuro found the box — and got more details from Nabiki about the courses offered at the university. He missed their quiet entrance. Turning at Barry's words he looked blankly in their direction. Alone most of his life, he was a bit more obtuse about emotional states, but even he could tell that Akane and Ukyo must have come to some sort of truce. Their body language indicated mutual support for each other, something Barry missed.

"It's all right, Barry," Akane said. "You tried."

"Don't be so quick to forgive, Akane," Ukyo advised her. "Barry-baka, what happened and why?"

"Ukyo, are you familiar with the concept that a person's aura is comprised of multiple levels or layers?" Ukyo nodded. "The layers being Body, Health, Astral, Mind and Soul?"

"I've heard something like that…"

"Somehow, I think I managed to pull at least two other layers out with me when I went. Without the health aura-layer, the body couldn't regulate itself and began to shut down."

The girls seemed to freeze. They looked at one another and at the room, then back at Barry.

"You mean our little emergency back there and our… squabble was due to _your_ mistake?" Ukyo said flatly.

"Yes." Barry knew he was going to get pounded for this. He just didn't have the energy to put a good face on a bad situation.

"That's all you can say?" asked Akane quietly. "'Yes'?"

"Ummm, I've never done this before?" Barry offered. It didn't look like that would work. "Do you mind if we minimize further damage to Ryoga's house? I'll go outside and…"

"Oh, no, you don't," snapped Ukyo. "We're going to do this from the top, and do it right, this time!"

"Ukyo!" Akane gasped. The okonomiyaki chef held up her hand, keeping steely eyes on the young man before them.

"I'd love to, Ukyo, but I don't know how. I don't know why it happened to begin…"

"Ah-ha!" she shouted, pointing at him. "I told you! Didn't I tell you, Akane?"

"Come on, Ukyo, I saw your faces when you came in," Barry scowled. "I could have ignored this whole thing, let you go on believing that your pushiness had nearly killed Ranma and myself…"

"Which makes me wonder what your motivation is," Ukyo flung back acidly.

"Ukyo!" Barry turned and banged his head against the wall.

"Stop that," Ukyo exclaimed. "Listen, baka," she snarled as he paused, resting his forehead against his chosen target. "You will not do your Ranma act when you're around me, unless we're out in public. Do you understand?"

"It may surprise you, Ukyo," Barry said bitingly, "but Ranma and I have a few things in common."

He lifted his head and gave the wall one last meaningful thump, only to have it aided by the impact of her spatula against the back of his head. After a moment to deal with the pain, he yanked his face out of the hole and glared at the girl, who seemed to be waiting for another opportunity to smash him.

"Uh, Barry?" Akane spoke quietly to gain his attention.

"What?"

"Dojo rules," she added politely. He looked at her, then back at the wall.

"Aw, shit!" (Whang!)

"And watch your mouth!" Ukyo snarled.

Barry eyed her. "Yes, dear!" Ukyo swung again, only to have the heavy weapon caught just behind the paddle. She gave a single jerk in an attempt to free it and gazed coolly across her weapon at Barry, who held the other end in one hand. "Don't push it, Kuonji," he warned.

"You over your little guilt trip?" she asked sweetly. Barry glared, then glanced at Akane. She met his eyes, then avoided them, gazing innocently at the ceiling.

"Gee, thanks, hammer-girl," he said sarcastically.

"Don't push your luck, Barry-baka," Akane snapped, her eyes flashing as they locked with his again.

Barry raised an eyebrow and sighed. So, that's the way it was going to be.

"I hate to interrupt, but we have a train to catch in about an hour," Nabiki stepped between the glaring eyes, showing more guts, or less common sense, than usual. "I really don't feel like going all sweaty."

"We?" Akane and Ukyo said together.

"I've invited Barry to give Nikki a foretaste of the hell that will be his life. And by the way; you'll be taking the women's karate and kyudo divisions."

"Nabiki," Akane began, then continued, outraged, "I'll be _what_!"

"Besides, you don't have a convenient disguise, little sis." Nabiki added as she began packing the shards of the vase she needed to repair in the box. "Barry will go as Ranko and deal Nikki some pain - insurance against him being stupid again." She carefully placed the last shard in the box and arranged newspaper around it. "Then we'll all gang up on him and ruin his life." She sighed contentedly.

Barry examined the packing job, as Akane sputtered and Ukyo gave him a hard look. He shook the box back and forth slightly and, hearing the pieces slide, shook his head. He took the box from her and began to repack it. Nabiki glared at the implied criticism.

"How long will this take?" Akane squawked. "We can't afford to lose the time it takes to get involved!"

"Going as Ranko might not hack it either, Nabiki," he said as he stuffed twice the packing in the box's bottom and before laying the shards in again. "Ranma's fairly notorious these days and, while they may not associate Nabiki Tendo with Ranma, all it will take is a splash of water at the competition to let the cat out of the bag."

"I thought we were getting the others to help Nabiki instead! Why…?" Akane was nearly incoherent.

"There's an easy answer for that," Nabiki suggested. "Ranma's used wigs before."

"Winners get access to the university libraries, Akane," Ryoga explained, leaning away from her aura. Ukyo nodded, understanding finallyand turned to Nabiki.

"Ranma's lost wigs before, screwing everything up," she retorted remembering at least one whopper of a situation in particular.

"Hey, red hair takes dye," offered Barry.

"But I've heard it makes the hair stiff and dry," complained Akane still off balance from the change of plans and the possible side benefits. "I like Ranma's hair!"

The look her sister shot her was followed by smirks from everyone except Ryoga, who missed it entirely. Barry moistened his lips. "I'm sure you can discuss that with Ranma when he returns, Akane," he said sagely.

"Or maybe when _she_ does," Ukyo said looking up with a smirk.

"I said when he came," Nabiki nodded. "He's half a girl…"

Akane got it. Her face flamed anew. "I am not a pervert," she wailed.

* * *

Barry and Akane faced off in the infamous empty lot behind Ryoga's house.

"I am _not_ a pervert!" Akane hissed.

Barry smacked his head. "Relax, Akane. You know they're just teasing you." They set themselves and began the initial series of attacks and responses as Barry explored the possible damage to Ranma's body and reflexes caused by the separation. "They wouldn't tease you like that if they weren't confident in you and Ranma." Blows were delivered and countered at an increasingly dizzy pace, as on the ground or airborne, gravity and inertia seemed to play increasingly diminished roles.

Nabiki had returned to the Tendo's to pack. Their audience was Ryoga, who nodded appreciatively and Ukyo, who fumed at the sight. Ukyo remembered too well, how Barry stopped her best attacks repeatedly the previous evening. Watching Akane spar with him on such a high level was so opposed to her memories that she found herself jealous and angered anew. Besides, how _dare_ Akane improve so drastically in such a short time?

"Was training all they were doing out there in the woods?" she sniped grumpily. She smirked to see Ryoga falter.

"Ukyo, I was there before Akane arrived," he replied meeting her eyes. "We told Akane about Barry right away, and that was the first time she heard of him. Ranma was definitely still in his body at that point." Ryoga shuddered. "I know!"

"How did she get so good so fast?" Ukyo complained as she watched them continue to attack through aerial flips that were followed by a series of detonations against the ground. Their hang-time was definitely going beyond that of a NBA-star's drive for the hoop.

"I told you that Akane found out about P-chan?"

"Yeah, yeah. And she told me about how bitchy she was."

"Well, this time I think Ranma really believed her when she said it was over. Akane was ranting on about betrayal of trust. Then Ranma suddenly hit her. Just hauled off, knocked her down and told her that he'd be betraying her father's trust in him if he didn't teach her the whole school of Anything-Goes." Ryoga shuddered in memory. "He judged her limits and used everything he had to push her past them. Then he showed her how to put herself back together again and try for more." He paused, silently following the progress of combat until suddenly a crater appeared in the ground. Akane froze and covered briefly to shield against the shrapnel. "Dammit! He did figure out my Bakusai Tenketsu!"

"What are you trying to say, Ryoga?" Ukyo growled.

"Ukyo..." Then more quietly, "Ucchan…" Ukyo blushed at the use of the diminutive usually reserved for Ranma's lips. "I've always said that, 'because of Ranma, I'd seen hell'. I had no idea what I was talking about. Iwatched Ranma give Akane a guided tour through a corner of that place and he didn't do it because he hated her! The training should have killed her, but Ranma was always there, taking her abuse and pushing her harder, making her strong, so she'd be safe when he was gone."

"I don't understand. Where was he planning to go?" Ukyo scowled. Ranma not protecting Akane? Her heart sank. Why did that sound so wrong?

"I think Ranma was planning to die." Ryoga sighed. "Akane's broken it off before, but never like this. He was acting like he did at Jusendo; when he thought she was dead."

"You're crazy!" Ukyo snapped. "Even if he was losing Akane, he still had me or even the bimbo!"

"But Ranma loves Akane, Ukyo," Ryoga said sadly. "And she loves him." Ryoga sighed melancholy. "So he tried to give her everything she felt she lacked. When they made up…" He frowned suddenly, distracted by the familiarity of a pattern that was developing. "He wouldn't!"

"What?" Ukyo shot back with a frown, trying to come to grips with the idea that Ranma had centered his whole being on her rival.

Wind roared suddenly and the sparring pair was lost in the swirling dust kicked up by a Hiru Shoten Hai. "Dammit, Barry!" Ryoga leaped to his feet, seeking Akane with his ki-vision. He barely dodged the blast that came rocketing down from thirty or forty meters in the air.

Akane launched a series of ki blasts downward, the recoil slowing her to manageable levels. She still grunted as she hit the ground and rolled. "Dammit, Barry!" she shouted, unconsciously mimicking Ryoga. "Hiru Shoten Hai? You jerk! Look what you've done to my skirt!" Her just-above-the-knee skirt was now a mini, and a tattered one at that. She was also missing a sleeve from her blouse and flinched as her shoes finally plopped down at different sides of the lot with solid thumps.

"You were getting complacent," retorted Barry. He was near one of the shoes, so he picked it up and sailed it at her. "You also need to dress better for fights. That must have been flimsy material."

"I was getting ready knock you through the fence! And the material of my dress was fine, baka!" She yanked her shoe on, winced and took it off, dumping a handful of dirt out of it. "Oooh!"

"At least you don't have to worry about something like that in the competition, tomboy," Barry smirked.

"Neither will your opponents, baka," Akane growled. "I don't think ki techniques will play well in traditional styles." She smirked and retrieved her other shoe and emptied it.

Barry looked discomfited. "Say, that's right." Ranma usually dealt with unconventional and unrestricted styles. "Uh… Well, you don't really need me…" He felt a hand latch firmly on his pigtail.

"This is for your benefit, too, Barry-baka," Ukyo said, beginning to drag him off.

"Jujitsutechniques arepart of Mutsabetsu Kakuto, Barry," Akane said confidently. "I'm sure you'll get the hang of it – with some training from your father and mine."

"And remember, Ranma Saotome doesn't lose," Ryoga smirked. "Or so I've heard."

"What did I just step in?" muttered Ranma's guest.


	34. Second Thoughts

**Guest Ki: Chapter 33**

_**Second Thoughts**_

Barry collapsed onto the futon a few hours before dawn. She slept on the train but that had been fitfull as she had to be watchful for perverts who might take advantage of an unescorted girl. No one tried. Exhausted, she ended up nose down on the mattress, green hair swirling about her face. The dye job had not gone well. They had been trying for a dark blond but the dye hadn't cooperated.

She felt the light vibration of footfalls coming toward her. As wiped out as she was, she still had to check. It should be one of the girls, either Kasumi or Akane, or less likely, Ukyo, Shampoo or Kodachi. But Happosai had made a tremendous impression on Barry. She wasn't likely to let her guard down if he was even in the same hemisphere. The approaching being was female however and, as the door to the spare room swung quietly open, Barry recognized Akane with _ki_-vision.

"Hey, Akane," she murmured.

"Green hair, Barry?" Akane asked quietly. "Were you trying for some character out of animé?"

"Nah! Dye didn't work right. My persuasion did, though."

"Good."

"Akane, what are you doing up?" Barry asked. "If I fall asleep, it's just 'Ranma, go do bucket duty'. If you do it as well, it's 'Akane, what's wrong? Is Ranma keeping you up nights?'"

Akane scowled. "That didn't sound very..."

"True though," Barry muttered into the mattress. "I mean, what they'll say; not whether it's true. God, I'm tired."

"I just wanted you to know that Ryoga and I worked with Shampoo, Ukyo… and Kodachi."

Barry raised her head almost three centimeters in surprise. "She stuck around?" At Akane's nod, she let her head sink back into the mattress, but her brain was going at mach-three. "What happened?"

"Oh, she was grumpy you weren't here. Made disparaging remarks." Akane shrugged. "She wants in on the tournament and wanted you to train her. Ryoga got angry and informed her that _he_ trained Ranma in Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics."

"That's true enough," Barry said. "And?"

"She challenged Ryoga and lost." Akane seemed a bit upset.

"Good for him!" Barry applauded weakly. "What's the problem?"

"Kodachi said that maybe she should take Amazon Month more seriously."

Barry painfully turned her head and peered with one eye at Akane, kneeling beside the futon in green pajamas. Amazon Month? More seriously?

"She didn't..."

"Well, maybe she was joking," offered Akane. "But, that's not all of the problem."

"Poor Ryoga," Barry snickered weakly. She rolled over painfully and sat up. "Akari, Ukyo, Nabiki and now Kodachi. He's gettin' as bad as Ranma!" She glanced at Akane. "You weren't finished, were you?"

"Part of the reason she lost was that she got dizzy when the match went too long. She avoided Ryoga and scored on him a few times. You know how Ryoga is. It didn't faze him at all. He scored a few of his own." Akane shifted off her shins and dropped to a sitting position with her legs curled up beside her. "Then she got dizzy and he wrapped her up like a visiting gift in his ribbon."

"She's faking it, maybe?" Barry drummed her fingers, then glanced sidewise at Akane. "Does Kodachi look thinner to you, lately?"

"How should I know, Barry," Akane said crossly.

"Because you girls watch the other girls all the time," Barry said. "You dress to impress them at least as much as the guys. Gwen admitted as much to me."

Akane 's fist clenched, then she sighed. "Yes, I'd say Kodachi's five or ten kilos lighter than she was at the beginning of school."

"That much?" Barry chewed her lip. "Worse than you, and you have cause. I wonder what's going on? She doesn't strike me as a girl who would go on a dieting binge." She thought some more. "She was really upset about something with Kuno the other day, too. I wonder if they're connected?"

"Can you find out?" Akane asked.

"Akane, if I do anything more with the Black Rose, she'll be sending out wedding invitations. She's saner – I've been nudging her ki in self defense... Damn!"

"What?" Akane startled back to a kneeling position.

"Sanity. Sasuke admitted that Kuno is seeing a shrink. Kodachi mentioned a Doctor Hashi-something..." She smacked herself on the side of her head. "I bet this has something to do with that. You know Kuno moved out of the mansion?"

Akane shook her head negatively.

"I really should talk to you more about this stuff, but I have Ranma's reflexive reaction to imminent pain."

"What are you talking about?" Akane looked puzzled.

"If Ranma told you Kodachi informed him that there was no one at home and she was feeling lonely, what would you do?"

Akane's hand clenched again and she flushed. "I'd... I'd...

"See what I mean. Ranma wouldn't buy trouble mentioning something like that to you."

The shorthaired girl unclenched her fist and sighed. She reached out and picked up a strand of the loose green hair as it fell across the mattress. It felt as dry as she suspected. Barry flinched a little and rolled an eye open to see what she was doing. "Think Kuno will recognize me?"

"Probably," Akane snorted. "Then he'll declare the 'foul sorcerer Saotome' is attempting to hide the pigtailed goddess from him!"

They laughed together at that.

"Seriously, though," Barry said returning to an earlier subject. "Get some sleep."

"I had a strong workout, Barry," Akane replied. "I got some sleep."

"Don't try to lie _to _ki-vision, Akane."

"Damn."

"We will get him back," Barry said. 'And I'll get back to Gwen,' Ranma's guest added to himself.

* * *

Kodachi still had her pride and her wits. She noticed immediately when Ranma and her rivals started watching her more closely. No one trained in the Kuno household's daily routines would miss the covert observation. At first she was alarmed. She knew her weakness and weakness was dangerous, especially to a lone huntress such as herself. Weakness would always be exploited by your enemies.

When Ukyo, the okonomiyaki chef, bet her lunch that she could solve a math problem before Kodachi, she felt the probing for weakness. She triumphed, though, winning lunch and winning a reprieve, as well, from the day when her stockpiled supplies ran out.

Shampoo challenged her to a gymnastics routine the next day. The Amazon pushed her hard, but gymnastics was not quite the same as martial arts and Kodachi's form was considered marginally better. Shampoo frowned, acknowledged her defeat, then asked what Kodachi considered a proper forfeit. Dinner was thus resolved. It was interesting as well, to listen to Ranma and Mousse discussing ki techniques in the kitchen at the Nekohanten. She hadn't realized till then that _her_ Ranma had been spending so much time at the Nekohanten.

She was mollified by how little time Shampoo actually spent with the young man and was startled when Shampoo invited her up to the living quarters to watch a (to her) tiny TV. Tendo was there also. They sat at opposite ends of a slightly shabby couch, very aware of one another, as fuku-clad girls declared for truth and love, and battled incredibly ridiculous villains. Though familiar with the show — she had tremendous sympathy with Hotaru — she paid scant attention, more concerned with why her rival was there, until the chief villainess of the day moved onto the screen cackling with evil glee.

The laugh was, to Akane, reminiscent of Kodachi herself, but to Kodachi it had had some other meaning. As Shampoo arranged for some treats and retreated again, complaining that it was busier than normal, the Black Rose avidly cheered on the super-powered teenagers. Kodachi lost herself in the show and ate the treats with an absorbed speed Ranma would have been proud of. At the show's end, she looked down at the empty plate, over at Akane and, in a saccharin tone, asked what Akane thought of the snacks.

Akane, who didn't eat a single one, tried to hide her astonishment. All she succeeded in doing was make Kodachi suspicious. Shampoo reentered, noticed that the show was over and muttered about her luck, only brightening when Akane informed her that she managed to tape it without commercials. Kodachi nonchalantly asked to rerun the tape of the show while she was eating her winnings. Then Shampoo and Akane witnessed a near repeat of Kodachi's earlier display of Ranma-esque eating. Shampoo swallowed, entranced by the action, which was very neat, precise… and ravenous.

"Hyena-girl be sick you eat that fast," she suggested.

Kodachi paused, then slowed down. "I wouldn't worry about me, Shampoo," she said smoothly. "Tendo here seemed to enjoy your little snacks earlier. I swear she finished the entire plate herself!"

Shampoo glanced surprised at Akane, to see that girl barely restraining a purple-faced denial. She smiled slightly. "Pervert-girl stay heavy and slow, she act that way!" She grinned as Akane looked like she was going to burst.

"Why do you call her 'pervert-girl' anyway?" asked Kodachi, eyeing the odd-looking faces Akane was making with some amusement.

"_Shampoo_..." grated Akane.

The Amazon ignored her. "When first come here, Akane always angry with boys. 'I _hate_ boys; I hate _boys_!' but she stick up for Ranma. Hide Ranma girl-type from Shampoo." Shampoo winced as a familiar bellow sounded from below.

"Watch yer grammar, Shampoo!"

Shampoo huffed and marched to the top of the steps. "Maybe airen need watch his grammar! It getting to be that Shampoo speak better Japanese than he does!" she shrilled back, before returning to the girls. "_Men_! Anyway, I was trying to kill Ranma, then. I only knew girl-type and she shamed me before my entire village. I give… gave 'kiss of death'."

"Your present opinion seems quite altered."

"Yes. Come here… (Sigh!) I _came_ here following Ranma. Akane was always interfering, so I threaten Akane. Ranma boy-type said I should not do..." She paused a moment, reviewing her words. "...told me to stop and then beat me again. Not mind. Ranma boy-type cute, move well and Shampoo want to get away from Mousse. Amazon law say Shampoo must marry outsider man who defeat her, so I give 'kiss of marriage'!"

"That could get inconvenient if more than one male beat you," Kodachi said suggestively.

"Rules not quite work that way. You see in paper tomorrow. Then find out girl-type and boy-type same person."

"What's your excuse these days, Tendo?" Kodachi asked, losing interest. "For annoying my darling Ranma, I mean?"

"I love him," Akane growled, locking eyes with her rival. Kodachi's reaction was unexpected.

She smiled, then laughed, "Oh...HOhohohohohohoho-ho! Finally, Tendo! It was really getting tedious watching you lie to yourself."

Akane went white. "Lie!"

"What I saw right away and you fought and tortured yourself over all this time. Simply amazing."

Akane Tendo fought down two months of fear, desperation and other things, and managed not to reach across and kill her.

"Besides, this makes the game much more interesting." Kodachi leaned back and hid her face behind her teacup as she sipped. "One always wonders in victory if the prize was worth winning if your opponent doesn't put up a fight for it."

"Why do you cheat then?" Akane asked bluntly. "In Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics, I mean."

"Because I play a different game than everyone else," the Black Rose said flatly. "Think about it." She turned to Shampoo who was following the exchange with a little difficulty from a cultural standpoint. "What about you, my violet-haired rival? Now that Akane has declared her purpose, what does that mean for you?"

Shampoo seemed to sag. "Big trouble." She sat down on the other side of the table. "Akane and I have truce right now, till after Ranma help Shampoo in… in special way. After truce is over, Akane is... obstacle."

Akane looked sadly at Shampoo. "And 'obstacles are for killing'."

"My! Life could get interesting around here," Kodachi commented, smiling.

"Guess that's one way of putting it," reflected Barry, from the stairs. "Hey, Dachi, while I'm thinkin' of it, Kasumi wondered if you'd stop in some night for dinner. I think she said something about finding you 'a very nice girl for a raving lunatic'."

Akane gasped at his words but Kodachi laughed. "And I find Kasumi a very nice girl… for a doormat!"

Akane and Shampoo growled. Kodachi was badmouthing Kasumi? Then Barry laughed. "She said you'd say that. She challenged you to a game of Go. Never thought I'd see anyone but Pops and Tendo doin' that around here."

Shampoo and Akane exchanged glances. 'What?'

"Ummm... You aren't planning on taking out Kasumi before the match, are you?" Akane asked after a moment.

"Kasumi?" said Kodachi, shocked. "Are you serious?" She was obviously astonished they could think such a thing. "You are one thing, Tendo. Your sister is a goddess placed on earth for the masses to fall at her feet and worship. The idea!"

Akane suddenly grinned. "She is special!"

"She is nice," Shampoo added.

"She can cook," Barry added, "unlike her sister!"

"_Ranma_!"

"Oops! Look at the time. Gotta run!" He seemed to vanish, followed quickly by Akane.

"They really do have a convenient way of making an exit, don't they?" suggested Kodachi.

"Hmmm?" Shampoo said.

"I mean, he could have said, 'Dear, it's time to go,' and she could have replied, 'Coming!' but that would have been obvious, don't you think?"

Shampoo scowled. "I know, Kodachi. I have eyes."

From the shadows of the stairs, other eyes watched and other ears listened. Mousse grieved for Shampoo and the decisions that faced her. Now he had ki-vision so much that had been hidden was revealed. Soon Shampoo would be healed of the blockage and soon after would come the time of decision. He hoped he would be strong enough for them both. He touched his lips; the memory of two nights before tingled there still. He would have to be.

* * *

"Oooh!" Akane snarled. "You just had to mention my cooking!"

"Most common complaint, ya gotta admit," Barry retorted, dodging.

Akane stopped attacking and smiled. Barry kept his distance and watched her carefully. Suddenly, water seemed to come out of nowhere. "Aaugh!" A few steps away, a little old lady splashed water to keep down dust on her sidewalk. Barry, green-haired and girl, glared at Akane. "Point to you," she said. Akane just laughed. "Akane?"

"That wasn't why I was smiling," she said archly. "What day is today?"

"It's Wednesday... Oh, _man_!"

"I cook tonight."

"Need some help?" asked Barry hopefully.

"Nope! Take it or leave it, and you better answer correctly."

"I am not Ranma."

"True, but that is not what I meant."

"I hate this!" Barry said grimacing.

"Hey, I'm getting better!" Akane said glowering. "If you're going to be that way..."

"Nah! That's not what I meant, Akane." Barry grimaced again and suddenly picked up speed. Akane looked puzzled and paced the shorter girl.

"What's wrong?" she said. "Aside from the usual complaints and excuses."

"Cramps..."

"Why would you...? Oh." Akane suddenly dropped behind. Barry didn't care. Time to hit the bathroom. Fast!

Dinner that night was actually pretty good. Akane and Soun looked askance at Barry who remained grumpily in girl form. Soun especially looked at the hair.

"Interesting effect, boy. Is there some reason you're... uh..."

"Just a disguise, Tendo."

"Might I ask..."

"No."

"Ranma," Kasumi asked. He regarded her defensively. "Could you pass the rice, please?"

"Oh! Sure, Kasumi."

Akane watched Barry like she was some sort of bomb waiting to go off. The former redhead helped her clean up after dinner then went meekly up to Akane's room to study. She pulled out their books, laid them out by subjects and complimented Akane once more on her cooking. Akane edged over to her bed and nervously picked up her notes from the first class. She jumped when Barry reached across and took the notebook from her hand. The green-haired girl passed her a different notebook, the correct one.

"Akane, Ranma's been through this before," she said wearily. She suddenly grabbed Akane by the shoulders and shook her. "I am not a human time bomb, dammit!"

Akane looked at her, surprise beginning to slide over to pity. "Uh, Barry?" She glanced down at the hands gripping her shoulders. "I have gym tomorrow and if I have to explain bruises..."

Barry let go like she was holding hot coals. "Ah... Heh-heh! HA, ha-ha! Oh, shit! I _hate_ this."

"Why are you staying in girl-type if, er... um..." Akane trailed off.

"Ranma usually fights with this for weeks, Akane," Barry snapped. "The girl-type cycle is mostly an elapsed-time thing. When he's been in girl-type twenty-eight days worth… Bingo! Cramps. Then it's four days elapsed time of grumpy misery."

"Are you sure about the time?" Akane asked. "I mean that's pretty regular for the way Ranma flips in and out of girl-type. How do you keep track?"

"It's just a good guess-timate, Akane," Barry grumbled. "I just want this over and done with!"

"Hold on."

Akane got to her feet and disappeared out the door. Barry tried to follow her with _ki_-vision, but was too tired for the focus needed for the range. Moments later, Akane returned with a glass of water and… pills?"

"Take these, Barry," she said wryly. "They'll help. I know!"

Barry looked at the small capsules. They didn't look like anything she'd seen before but suspected they were related to aspirin, Tylenol or Midol. She smiled at the dark-haired girl who observed her from across the room. "You're a treasure, Akane," she said flipping the pills back her throat. "Now, about that pesky white whale…"

* * *

Ranma leaned over almost without thought and let Gwen give him a peck on the cheek. He had largely given up resisting the immediate minor responses this body had to Barry's wife, concentrating on resisting the big one — _sex_!

"Now, if it hurts too much, call me, okay? I'll come and get you," Gwen told him. "Don't push yourself. You still need time to heal."

Ranma nodded. That certainly would be true if Barry had been in the body. Fortunately, his _ki_ adjustment worked fine and the body was nearly back to normal, except for surface bruising. Still, getting here at six in the morning was not his idea of a fun start to the day. He just hoped he'd get a chance to talk to Bob about the _yoga_ texts. If he could just find the right information, he was sure he could find his way back home.

As he made his way to the front of the stable, the scrabble of claws on the wooden floor gave him just enough warning to brace himself. One hundred pounds of Rotweiller hit his chest and shoved him back three steps. Black and silent, Sabina was Bob's oldest dog and the mother of the six other Rotweillers Bob kept. She was ferociously protective of the barn when no one was around, which was just what Bob wanted. Many of the animals in his care were valued at tens of thousands of dollars. She dropped to the floor and whined, recognizing his scent, but also oddly disturbed by differences in his body language. When he moved to pass her with a pat, she grabbed his pants leg and weakly resisted his attempt to move in. Ranma knelt and scratched her behind her ears and along her back.

"C'mon, girl. I know you can tell that I'm not Barry, but until I can get him back here, I've got to do his job." She whined at him then to his delight licked his face. "Hey, don't do that! I'm in enough trouble with Akane over Gwen, thank you." He stood up and flipped the switch next to the door. The first aisle-way was flooded with light. He froze, the hair on the back of his neck lifting.

Cats! Playful half-grown kittens and indolent large mousers sprawled easily on the floor. There were fewer than a dozen, but to Ranma it might as well have been a dozen full-grown tigers. He found himself panting, panic-stricken. Why did there have to be so many cats? Sabina glanced up at the man then at the cats. Sabina protected all of the animals on the property, but that didn't mean she took any guff from them. Suddenly she 'wuff'-ed and slapped her front paws against the floor. The cats scattered immediately. She looked up expectantly at her guest and watched him sag with relief. Ranma turned his gaze to her and smiled. He might just make it.

The first thing on the schedule was to water the horses. A hose, 150-feet long was used to reach five-gallon buckets in each of the thirty-five occupied stalls in the barn. Done at high speed, this usually took fifteen minutes. Then, he made a trip to the hayloft, to throw down a dozen bales of hay and bring down four hundred-pound bags of grain. First hay, the horses were fed five times each day, according to a set diet; then the grain with specific additional supplements, molasses, zinc and other strange smelling powders. By 7 AM, the animals were all munching contentedly and Ranma was free to check the equipment for weak spots and damage, and a quick trip to insure the arenas were ready for the riders that shortly would be using them. Cats blocked the most direct route, causing him to make some wide detours. Finally it was time to start cleaning stalls.

Around 9 AM, the other workers began to arrive. Sam, a man in his seventies, worked only with the heavy equipment. He drove the dump truck away filled with manure from the weekend's work and later would either be repairing equipment or puttering around doing one thing or another. Mary was a twenty-year old 'working student'. She worked at the barn for a small salary and a place to keep her own horse. She helped clean the stalls and feed the horses on a nine-to-five schedule. In Barry's opinion, she was usually a competent person to have around, the only downside being that she was tiny, even smaller than Ranma's girl-type. She simply didn't have the muscle or the leverage for the heavier work that needed done.

He called over to the house to see where Bob was.

"He's not here, Barry," Bob's wife answered. "He's evaluating a couple of horses in West Virginia for some clients."

"Oh. When will he be back?"

"Tomorrow or Wednesday, I guess," she answered nonchalantly. "He left a list of projects for you to do in the Book." 'The Book ' was the lesson schedule, a ledger much like Nabiki's old financial statement book, in which were listed appointments, cancellations and the schedule of available school horses.

Ranma clucked softly. He had three private lessons and a group lesson tonight. He stood straight and considered, looking over the horses. His temptation was to teach riding like he taught martial arts — hard, no nonsense, with an eye to precision and performance over everything else. To Ranma, there was no reason to do anything unless it was done well, his schoolwork not included.

But Barry didn't teach that way, nor did his students expect to learn that way. Most of them came because it was fun. A few of the parents literally didn't seem to understand that horses could do things on their own despite the best efforts of the rider. A memory surfaced.

_Some deer in the woods next to the arena began leaping through the undergrowth, startling the pony the eight-year old was riding. Though one of the best riders of her age group, the frightened pony took off in a straight line, stampeding with the deer along the fence._

'_Stay calm and loose,' Barry called. 'Don't be afraid. Just stay on and ride till she stops.' Barry knew that any outside attempt to control the animal would make matters worse. Mount and rider finally came to a halt and the girl swung off the pony to stand, knees shaking, at the far end of the arena. 'Nice job!' he said, walking across to where she stood._

_The mother got there first. "You idiot! Risking my daughter's life like that!" The pony shied away from the angry accusing voice._

"_Ma'am, your daughter is fine..."_

"_No thanks to you! How dare you teach my daughter where those animals could interfere? You said this pony was safe!"_

"_No, ma'am," Barry said quietly. "I said that this pony is one of the steadiest animals you will find anywhere in the region. Any pony or horse might startle when something unexpected happens."_

"_Well, this won't happen again!" She snatched her daughter's hand and dragged her away weeping, leaving Barry to catch and control the pony, which was reacting strongly to the sudden aggressive movements the woman was making._

"_Ma'am, your daughter has such potential. Please, just talk to one of the other instructors!"_

_She hadn't listened and chaos followed her departure. Bob had been philosophic. "At least the girl didn't actually fall off the horse with that mother watching. We would have been sued for sure, signed release or not."_

"_Her mother's an idiot," Barry muttered in response. _

Ranma nodded and paused, wondering if his mother had ever reacted like that to Genma's training. Of course considering the cat-fist, she might well have had cause. Maybe he should ask her someday.

"Purr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r! (rub... rub...)" A cat was winding around his leg. Another jumped up on the book and 'meowed' at him. Barry liked cats. Ranma hadn't considered it was probable the cats liked Barry as well and went out of their way to get attention from him. His eyes darted away to look for the dog, Sabina. She was elsewhere unfortunately.

Alexia, Bob's daughter, walked briskly into the stable and pushed the cat off the book. Her movement also startled the cat around Ranma's legs. He let out a ragged breath causing the girl to shoot him an annoyed look. Alexia tended to be annoyed, not in the hot, fiery way Akane had, but more like Nabiki on permanent PMS. Like Nabiki, she could be nice and was, if the situation called for it. To be fair, she was excellent at riding and training. Barry felt he had to endure her. The feeling was probably mutual, as Alexia rarely did more than pass orders along to Barry in a superior tone of voice.

"Is there a problem, Barry?" she asked.

"Just trying to decide how much I can do, I guess," he said to hide the real reason of his odd behavior.

"Still sore?" she smirked. Ranma glanced coolly at her.

"A bit," he admitted. 'Far less than you think,' he thought. "How did Buddy go?"

Alexia scowled and turned away, surprising him. Apparently, Buddy had not been cooperative with anyone after Barry and Ranma's falls. Either that or it was that time of the month, he joked to himself (and if any male has the right to joke about _that_, it's Ranma!).

"Did you see your dad's note about the projects today?" he added.

"No. Check on the floor." She wrote in the book and stalked away.

He made a point of painfully kneeling and looking around under the desk. She ignored him and started tacking up a horse, grooming and saddling it. He located the list and rose. The note indicated that, in addition to his normal routine, he was to do the following… 'Repair two stalls in the back of aisle two. Replace a stall door in aisle one. Count and stack the rough boards that were delivered behind the barn. Compact the existing hay; more will be delivered before the end of the week. Don't forget about the horses in pasture, and make sure the dogs have fresh bedding.' Ranma eyed the note with a little irritation. If he had not developed the accelerated healing, Barry's body would not have been ready for even the normal routine today. Hmmm… What would be the most important?

Horses in pasture, of course; they were part of the usual routine. Then, stack the hay. Bob hadn't specified just when it was coming, but Barry's memories said it was unwise to mix fresh and stored hay. The moisture in the one could cause heat and start a fire in the other. Following that, the stalls. If he was looking at horses, he just might bring some back with him. There were no open stalls, unless the two he mentioned were ready. As for the dogs, they technically belonged to Bob's daughters. If the girls urgently wanted new bedding, _they_ could do something about it!

He looked down at the book. Alexia had essentially stuck his group lesson with the most troublesome, least dependable horses in the school. His group of near beginners was going to get a little too much experience at this rate. "Hey, Alexia, what about my group lesson? You're working all the horses I need steady up to that time. They'll need a break."

"Teach them to ride, Barry," she said. "That's not _my_ problem."

Ranma considered his group — all girls between twelve and fifteen years old. Two steady riders, two good but flaky riders with confidence problems caused in part by weight issues, one rider new to group lessons in general and in group lessons only because she couldn't afford private ones. He looked at Alexia's schedule again and frowned.

"Alexia, none of these lessons of yours are at their regular times. Did you check this out with your dad?" he asked. Bob was fanatical about pacing the horses to avoid over-use.

"They needed to reschedule," she said, looking down her nose at Ranma.

"You know regularly scheduled lessons get first pick, Alexia," he reminded her, struggling with his temper.

"So talk to Dad about it," she snipped and walked away, leading her chosen horse out.

Ranma fumed. Kami, what a bitch she was today! It went far beyond her normal attitude. He wondered what was up.

Mary always started with the school horses. She switched Wing, the Welsh pony, out of her stall and began cleaning it. She poked her head out of the stall and eyed Barry pointedly. "She sure got an icicle stuck up where the sun don't shine," she commented. "One of the perks of being the ice princess, I guess."

Ranma shivered at the idea of sticking an icicle... then scowled. "'Talk to her dad,' huh?" Barry would have probably taken the complaint to Alexia's mother who, nominally at least, was second-in-command after Bob. Ranma hated using any authority other than his own. Alexia just crossed the wrong guy.

Alexia's first student arrived. Ranma loaded the old jeep with twelve bales of hay and an equal number of buckets of horse-feed for the horses in the pasture. Rumble-rumble, bang-bang! The noise was deafening as the old jeep went along trail behind the arena and up the steep hill to the top pastures. It had no muffler and hadn't been inspected in ten years. When that thing was running, everything in the arena came to a standstill. The noise bothered the riders more than it did the horses. Instructors couldn't effectively shout over it; the sound bouncing off the galvanized roof drowned out everything. Then, with graceful speed, he filled the pasture feed buckets, threw the hay over and rumble-banged back down the hill, in time to interrupt the second half of the lesson.

After walking in from the machine area, he moved over to the first aisle to check his list. Alexia was there, listening with a stormy expression to complaints from the student about the interrupted lesson. Ranma smiled to himself. He was going to have to be careful, but this was much more satisfying than complaining. He whistled as he worked to finish the stalls in the second aisle. If he timed it just right, and the noise carried the way he thought it would...

He almost didn't manage it because of those pesky cats. Fortunately, Sabina was around and dispersed them again. Ten minutes after Alexia's next student went up, the sound of a circular saw rang in the second aisle. The box stalls needing repair were in the back of the aisle, right next to the arena. He measured and sawed and hammered and dropped things until he saw Bob's daughter march stiffly up the aisle to where he worked. He pretended not to see her as she closed on him and started the saw just in time to drown out her first words. He had timed things to be certain there was a long rip-cut to make, one that would draw out the moment and force her to wait. She tried twice to get his attention, then reached down and yanked the power cord on the saw.

"Do you _mind_?" she snarled, frost seeming to spring into existence around her. "I'm _trying_ to teach lessons!"

"Well, _I'm_ trying to pace myself!" he snapped back. "If I re-injure my back, _you_ are going to have to stack hay, clean stalls, feed horses, teach lessons, and recondition these stalls that Bob wants horses moved into, by yourself." She glared at him. He shifted his shoulders and drew in a hissing breath through his teeth. "Ya know, I may not be able to take that group lesson tonight. Oh, well, I'm sure you can handle it."

"Damn you!" She turned on her heel and stalked away muttering. He looked in the book a few minutes later and found she reorganized the lesson schedule for certain horses. He smiled and carefully suspended repairs on the stalls. 'When training horses and people,' he thought, 'punish bad behavior and reward good.' He wondered how he could apply this to Akane. It'd be nice not to have to worry about a mallet every time he turned around. A small weight landed on his shoulder and rubbed, purring. "C-c-c-cat-t-t-t!" He couldn't get away, couldn't break for it without revealing that something was terribly wrong.

"What a cutie!" caroled Mary coming back from a trip to the manure truck. She swept the little kitten off his shoulder and twirled it around, kissing it on its nose for good measure. "What's wrong with you?" she asked, stopping and looking at Barry's strained face.

"Back spasm," Ranma lied, gritting his teeth.

"How did you do that?"

"Didn't they tell you?" He sat warily down on the nearby sawhorse and watched the kitten squirm in her arms.

"Tell me what?"

"How Buddy bucked me off."

"Oh! So that's why they're selling him!"

"What!" demanded Ranma.

"Sure. They told me to help load him when the truck came. It should be here about 12:30."

"When I take my lunch..." Ranma hissed. Barry's memories were clear:

'_We'll have you train Buddy,' Bob said. 'This is part of your training as a manager and trainer.'_

'_I'm ready,' Barry had said._

'_You'll make mistakes, but don't worry. I'll help you,' Bob assured him. 'That is part of your education.'_

To Ranma's mind, and Barry's, this was a betrayal of trust. Moments later, he was knocking on the door to the house. Paula, Bob's wife, came to the door. "I just found out about Buddy," he said without preamble. "I thought it was my job to train that horse." Ranma was furious, but had to follow Barry's more restrained patterns. Besides, Bob was the one who had final say and he was not there to beat on. Grrr! He _couldn't_ beat on him, either; he'd get Barry thrown in jail, if he didn't watch himself.

Paula watched the flare of emotions over his face and sighed. Of course, Bob would try to sneak this one past Barry and leave her to explain the results. "Too many people found out about your fall, Barry," she said, "I'm not sure how. Buddy has a reputation now as a difficult horse. Even if we trained that all out of him, if he threw anyone in this present litigious society, we could lose our whole business."

"I should have been informed," he grated. 'Were Americans that bad?' Ranma thought, immediately discovering a number of ridiculous decisions handed to irresponsible parties. "Bob made Buddy my responsibility. He shouldn't have gone behind my back like this."

"Don't forget," she warned him. "Buddy is our horse. We can do what we like with him."

"Don't forget that I can walk out of here right now, and get work elsewhere," he retorted.

She retreated somewhat. "I think you should talk to Bob. I can't do anything about Buddy. He's sold and that's that. But if you have questions about how your work and training are being handled, that's his affair."

Ranma had to be satisfied with that. "Damn it!" Ranma muttered. How the hell was he supposed to approach someone he was this pissed off at, to ask him for books a sensei would only share with his student? He sure as hell wasn't going to ask Bob to be his sensei, not with the evidence of this kind of betrayal hanging over him.

To make matters worse, he had to load Buddy on the trailer.

The rest of the day was spent in a red haze. Alexia, already wary after their clash that morning, avoided him like the plague. Even Mary was jumpy around him, and she knew he was not mad at her. He was just coming down from the bathroom, located in the covered arena viewing area, when Carla walked over from the main house, carrying a large rubber tub. He had not seen her yet today. Two years younger than her sister, she was bubbly where Alexia was serious. She also had a temper and could carry a grudge, but it took a fair amount of irritation to set her off.

"Barry, could you help me?"

Ranma paused, then shrugged to himself. He might be pissed at her father, but that was no reason to take it out on her. He intercepted her.

"Could you take this to the barn?" she asked, shoving the tub into his arms. "I just remembered I have to call Roy before he leaves work. Thanks!" She ran back the way she had come. Ranma grinned. Roy was her boyfriend and she clung to him like glue. He looked down at the smelly mess in the tub. It seemed to be some sort of gravy and… cat food? His eyes snapped up. Cats were beginning to approach from everywhere. From behind the house, from the arena, from the barn, everywhere! Dozens of cats! Everydamn cat in the whole world seemed to be converging on his location. He heard a weird cry and realized it was sounding from his own lips, "Mia! Mia!" He giggled hysterically. He was calling the damn cats to dinner! The smell hit him then; very reminiscent of the fish sausage his father had wrapped him in, just before...

His feet started working. He was never sure how he got past the cats between himself and the barn, but suddenly his footsteps were pounding up the first aisle. He turned left, then immediately right. There, a long narrow room led behind the stalls, back to the old silo where the cats were fed. A hand flicked the light-switch, but he was halfway back to the silo before he realized he had missed the switch. He turned. Cats were pouring in like a flood, eyes glowing as bits of light refracted from their retinas. He backed away, deeper into the darkness as the furry tide swirled about him and began to press against his legs, insistent 'meows' and the hissing of cats that, in their excitement, invaded a dominant cat's position. Ranma felt the backs of his knees hit some boxes and he sat down suddenly, the tub in his lap.

Immediately, the tide surged high as some cats tried to feed and others objected because their bowls on the floor were yet unfilled. Ranma giggled. This was it. Soon he would be in Nekoken for sure and, unable to transform, he would be a deadly menace to everyone who lived here. He laughed hysterically and stood up. Soon a different mind would replace his and claws of ki would dominate his attackers. Cackling, he splashed the cat food into the bowls and capered about the silo as groups of cats left him to feed at their chosen positions. Finally, the tub was empty and he bounced and skipped down the long narrow room free at last of those cats.

He stopped. The cats did not follow him. A few latecomers bounced off his shins on their way to the meal. Ranma looked down and quietly set the tub down where they could lick it clean. He looked at the tabby cat nearest him; one of the 'Darryl's', four almost identical cats, Barry's memory supplied, named after characters on a popular TV show. He reached down almost to the cat's fur, but his hand started to shake. He looked around and then stuck his head out of the doorway.

"Hey, Mary," he shouted.

"What?" the faint bellow drifted back. "I'm finished with stalls by the way."

"Great! Do we have any new kittens?"

Mary pushed her wheelbarrow outside, then turned the corner and walked over to him. "Do we have any what?"

"Kittens! You know... Little, eyes not open yet, can't move much..."

"Oh!" She thought. "You said we move hay next, and the hayloft is a good place to look."

An hour later, four tiny dark-gray forms wriggled on Ranma's palms. Not far away, the half-feral mother growled and complained, but did not approach within arm's reach. Ranma looked at the little creatures in wonder. For nearly a dozen years, they had been objects of fear for him, a source of terror and loss of identity. He looked the mother cat square in the eyes and she crouched, afraid of him. He felt a surge of joy and barely restrained himself from laughing.

"Satisfied?" a curious Mary asked, looking at the little animals. She took them from him and carried them over to a gap in the re-stacked hay that made a cozy nest. "Not that she'll keep them there," Mary said in disgust, "but it's worth a try."

Ranma wasn't listening. He was free. No girl-type... No neko... Hell with Bob! He could cut back, take martial arts lessons and breeze through the courses, reaching dan-levels in record time. He would have everything he ever wanted.

Except Akane…

"What the hell's the matter with you, now?" demanded a worried Mary.

"Got some dust in my eyes," he lied, tears coursing down his face.

'Akane,' he thought; then, '_Now_ how the hell do I get home?'


	35. It Ain't Easy Bein' Green

**Guest Ki: Chapter 34**

_**It Ain't Easy Bein' Green**_

"Um... Ta-he Sipu! Ta-he healese! Ta-he seconde healese, cu-ri-ed Ay-haba."

"'_The_ ship! _The_ hearse! _The_second hearse', Hiroshi," Miss Hinako corrected. "Try saying it while sticking your tongue out." She demonstrated on a lollipop, licking it while repeating 'the, the, the'.

Behind Hiroshi, Daisuke said something and snickered. Hiroshi went white then red. Barry didn't hear it, but Ninomiya Hinako apparently did. "Whatever did you mean, Mr. Ryuochii?" Hinako asked Daisuke. "That sounded like something a delinquent might say!" The people in the desks around Daisuke began to edge away. "Maybe you should take a bucket and stand in the hall for a while. If you think of a really, _really_ inventive way to apologize for that remark, maybe I won't ki-drain you." Trembling, Daisuke rose from his seat, staggered over to the door and left to get a bucket. Akane and Barry exchanged quick glances.

"Mr. Chukokumi, you didn't hear what that naughty boy said, did you?" Hinako asked.

"N-n-n-no, ma'am," Hiroshi stuttered.

"Mr. Saotome!" she said sharply. He glanced around wildly.

"Did you hear what Mr. Ryuochii said?" she asked sweetly, flipping her coin.

Barry boggled and looked around for Daisuke. "Was I supposed to?"

Defeated, Hinako returned to her desk. "Continue Hiroshi."

They were almost finished with the tale of Ahab and the white whale. Hiroshi stumbled through Ahab's final moments and left the epilogue to Shampoo who rattled it off with practiced ease.

"Very good, class. I'm proud of you all. Even Mr. Ryuochii did well, before acting like a pervert."

"What did he say, Ranma?" Akane asked in a whisper.

"Whatever it was, Akane, I wouldn't be doing you a service by repeating it," he whispered back. "Those two have been real stupid of late."

* * *

At least once a week since Ranma returned to school, Hiroshi and Daisuke had been trying to finagle him into helping them with a 'project'. Barry brushed them off, usually before they finished explaining, since it obviously involved either his girl-type or the other fiancées. He wasn't crazy enough to investigate further, as he really didn't want to hurt them, and didn't want any of the fiancées hauled before a judge for assault.

A good example was the time he had come across them a few days after the incident with the porn flick, groaning away in the weight room of the gym.

"_C'mon, Dai, I can take more!"_

"_I don't know, Hiro, I think you're pushing it."_

"_What are you clowns doing?" Barry heard their voices and poked his head around the door. Finding Hiroshi and Daisuke exerting themselves was odd enough to attract his attention._

"_Oh! Hi, Ranma," Hiroshi said cheerily. Reclined on the bench press, he suddenly lost control of the bar and yelped as it started to drop. Daisuke tried to catch it, but he was not centered properly, and only succeeded in deflecting it. Hiro scrunched up his face in anticipation of some real pain._

_And slowly opened his eyes again to see the bar caught by an end in Ranma's strong left hand. The martial artist shifted his grip and placed the barbell back in its cradle on the bench frame. "Thanks, Ranma," he said, a bit shamefaced. 'Ranma picked that up with one hand?' he thought._

_Barry nodded absently and checked the weights. "You're starting at forty kilos?" he asked. Daisuke nodded. _

"_I know it's a little light..."_

"_Nah! Ya gotta start somewhere," Ranma said to their astonishment. "Watcha doin' besides the weights?"_

_Barry listened as they stammered through a rough sketch of a nearly useless exercise routine. He looked at them concerned. He remembered a time when he (Barry) had tried much the same, totally unaware that he had a congenital problem that did not let him move as efficiently as other boys his age. The desire to excel needed guidance or it could do permanent damage. He just didn't have the time to do it properly. Another line or two for the book, something that Ranma would need to take note of._

"_Well, first off, just what do you want? What do you expect to be able to do when you reach your first set of goals in the training?"_

"_Impress the girls!" exclaimed Daisuke._

"_Look like I've got some muscle," Hiroshi added a bit more realistically._

_Barry laughed and looked down. "I meant, what do ya plan on doing with yer muscles? Aside from making every girl who sees ya, pant ta get closer?"_

_They laughed nervously._

"_Swimming? Weightlifting? Track? Gymnastics? Martial arts?"_

"_Well, um... I don't know, Ranma," Hiroshi began._

"_What would impress Shampoo, Ukyo or Akane?" asked Daisuke nonchalantly. Barry gave him a wry look._

"_Well, in that case, it would hafta be martial arts. You heard Shampoo the other day. Ta win an Amazon, ya hafta beat the Amazon." He eyed them critically. "You guys have yer work cut out for ya."_

"_We'll lift more weights!"_

"_We'll run more laps!"_

"_You'll kill yerselves," Barry snorted. "Ya need a sensei ta guide yer training."_

"_Yes, sensei!" they chorused._

"_I don't have time for this," Barry growled. "At least, not right now."_

"_Ranma!" they complained in frustration. _

"_When will it ever be time?" added Hiroshi._

"_I'll tell ya what," Barry said suddenly, hoping to kill two birds with one stone. "Ya hafta prove ya have the dedication to earn my respect. Every morning, before school and every evening before ya go home, I want ya doing laps around the track. Just laps! Now we do four laps in gym; so, the first week, you do four additional laps, morning and afternoon. Each week after that, ya add one lap per week till ya get ta fifteen laps. Now, I want ya ta keep accurate records of how fast ya do each lap, it'll be important to the next phase. Come to me again when you've reached ten laps and I'll show ya what comes next."_

"_What about weightlifting?" Daisuke asked looking at the equipment._

"_C'mon, Dai," Barry had snorted. "Weight-lifters move like walls, man! No flexibility. What girl wants to make love to a brick?" He was taken aback by the vehemence of their response._

"_Yes,_ _sensei!" they cheered, totally misunderstanding his point._

"_Idiots!" he muttered, though he couldn't help smiling at their enthusiasm. "Ya should be doin' this for yerselves!"_

"_But we are, Ranma," Daisuke said grinning. "Isn't the drive to impress the opposite sex a very selfish one?" He picked up a squeeze bottle of water and chugged a huge slug of liquid into his mouth._

"_You been leafing through _National Geographic_ again, lookin' for the forest chicks, Dai?" Hiroshi jibed. Daisuke lost control of his mouthful of water with predictable results. _

"_Jeez!" Barry stood there for a moment in disgust, second-hand cold water dripping from the red hair and plastering the shirt against now prominent breasts. She glared at them suspiciously. "If I thought for one minute that you two planned this..."_

_They laughed very nervously, which hadn't kept them from eyeing certain salient features with appreciative sighs._

"_I'm a _guy_, you morons!" Barry shrilled red-faced, before stalking away._

* * *

Gym class might be Ranma's favorite class, but was hardly Barry's. This was due in part to the disconcerting number of times various boys tried to spill, splash or spray cold water on him in the locker room. He finally resorted to physical punishments for such infractions to stop it.

It wasn't so bad once he got out of the locker room. Making Saotome 'go girl' was considered delinquent behavior, so it was avoided where it might be reported back to Hinako. Instead, the athletic tried to show up Ranma during warm-up or pass him on the laps. Ranma usually played rabbit to their greyhounds, keeping just out of reach of their efforts.

This semester, there were two rabbits, as he also ensured Ryoga didn't wander off during the activity. As they finished their totally unnecessary laps, Barry noticed that Hiroshi and Daisuke were up in the front third of the following runners. "Not bad, guys," Barry said slapping them on the shoulders. "If I'm not careful, yer gonna start pushin' me," he joked.

"All right!"

"Yeah!" They had exchanged high-fives.

"Dai! How did ya get away from Hinako?" Barry asked. "I didn't think we'd see ya in gym today."

"I was extremely persuasive," Daisuke said proudly. "I groveled. I screamed. I cried... and I offered her lollipops."

"Crouch of the Wounded Tiger, hmmm?" Barry commented, recalling one of Genma's less spectacular moves.

"You mean I know a martial arts move?"

"All right," interrupted the instructor with a bellow. Mr. Browner was a fit American, built like a wall with a temperament of a flea-infested bandicoot. "Let's get out there and play football." They groaned. Flag football, an American sport imported by the principal, was not on their list of favorite things to do.

"Kogara, you're captain of shirts! Saotome, you're captain of skins!"

"Sensei, you gotta be off yer rocker," Barry protested. "I ain't takin' off my shirt!"

The instructor pointed to the absolutely clear blue sky and smiled. "Shirt off, Saotome! The weather forecast said no precipitation today."

"You know water always manages to find me."

"Shirt off or sit out, Saotome!" Barry muttered, considered what Ranma might do and regretfully took his shirt off. They chose teams.

Kogara chose Ryoga, who grinned slightly at the thought of challenging Barry in a 'friendly' game. Barry looked thoughtful at this and selected a tall, fast youth, Nokoya Kaisoma, who he knew to be good at soccer and might do as a halfback. The pick went back and forth. Barry's team eventually ended up with Hiroshi and Daisuke, as well as Noitomo and Katanari Masanobi, identical twin brothers whose father worked under Mrs. Morisato's husband. Hitoshi Unryu was a third-cousin to Ryoga's Akari. Sato Dokotonabi hoped to be a manga artist someday and dabbled in jujitsu. Hikaru Gosunkugi was the last to be picked and looked the least happy about the game.

"Hey, Ryoga," Kogara said walking over to his new teammate. "Think you can take Saotome in football?"

Ryoga considered the situation. He had information they didn't about Ranma. As he remembered, football was very nearly the national sport in America, so Barry was probably familiar with it, a big advantage when united to Ranma's physical skills. Barry was just as irritating as Ranma sometimes, so it might be good to knock him around a little. Of course, anything overt was out, but you could get in a lot of good-natured roughhousing with the excuse of taking two little bandannas off a belt.

Finally, he shrugged. If Barry thought Ryoga would hold back for some reason, it was just too bad. "I'm pretty sure he knows a bit about football," he began. "He's faster than me, but I'm stronger. We're both faster than anyone else on your team, so I'm the only chance you'll have to stop him."

Kogara bridled a bit at the 'I'm the only chance...' comment, but smiled ingratiatingly and continued, "Now, I understand you have a directional problem."

"That's putting it mildly," Ryoga said bitterly.

"Not to worry."

Barry knew more about the game of football than the others on his team and decided to start out as quarterback on offense. He'd play middle linebacker on defense and try to assess the skills of Kogara's players.

Kogara's team won the coin toss, which suited Barry just fine. He set up his fastest teammates on the far left and had Nokoya kick off the ball, angling it to his right. They buttonholed Kogara's team inside their own twenty-yard line to start off the first set.

Kogara obviously knew something of the sport and had a decent throwing arm. Ryoga centered his line and worked to neutralize rushes by Ranma. After a few significant gains, Barry recognized that Kogara's offense depended on Ryoga neutralizing his rush and otherwise focused on just two of his team.

One, Asuko, was a black belt in karate and acted as the fullback. The other, Himoni, was not a martial artist but was very fast, and played wide receiver. Barry set himself as the middle linebacker and watched how Kogara set those two as the key to his offense. He had Daisuke and Hikaru cover Himoni when he was sent wide. Neither was fast enough to keep up with Himoni in a straight line, but in a staggered field they were fast enough and enough taller to interfere with his reception of Kogara's passes. Anything too short and Barry was there to intercept. When Kogara sent Asuko forward, Barry was in place to take him as soon as he came out from behind Ryoga. They steadily slowed Kogara's advance, till he was halted at mid-field.

The punt deposited the ball in Daisuke's hands, and the thunder and eager aggressive shouts of the advancing team aroused previously untouched depths of self-preservation in his soul. He made it back to mid-field before Himoni took his flags. Barry slapped him on the back. "Nice run, Daisuke! Now ya got an idea what it's like to be chased by hordes of people."

Daisuke suddenly grinned. "That wasn't half bad, Ranma. Is this why you put up with the ninja, monsters, ghosts, demons, kami and fiancées?"

"No," Barry said slowly. "Actually, that is self-preservation. Those guys aren't interested in flags unless they're made outa my hide."

"Oh!"

"Still, it looks like yer on yer way to bein' an adrenaline junkie, just like me," Barry concluded, slapping him on the shoulder again.

Hikaru Gosunkugi stood to one side shivering. They were going on offense now, which meant all sorts of opportunities for pain. At least when he was acting as… whatever it was, there wasn't much opportunity for bodily contact. Now, however…

"Hey, Gos!" He flinched. Ranma was looking at him. Why he got stuck on the same team as the despicable Saotome was beyond him. It wasn't fair! "Gosunkugi, get in the huddle! Okay, guys, here's the plan."

"You run and we'll follow," interrupted Daisuke. Gosunkugi brightened a little. Maybe he could escape pain.

"What fun would that be?" Ranma said, silencing him. "I'm gonna start with a pass. Hiroshi, you run short in an 'L' pattern. About eight steps out and five over."

"A what?" asked Hiroshi.

"An 'L', the roman-ji character? Like this." Barry demonstrated the 'L' on his hand. "Gos, you do the same but go longer, twelve steps out and six over from the opposite side."

"You're planning to throw that thing at me?" Gos said hollowly.

"I'll try to throw gently."

"Gee thanks, Saotome." It was not said sarcastically.

"I'm going to fake a quick hike and see if I can draw someone offside." He explained this idea and got evil grins from the rest of his team. "I'll go 'Hup!' and wait, then 'hup, hup!' and Hitoshi will hike the ball to me. Watch out for Ryoga, he probably knows some of those sumo-pig training moves, so just try to slow him down unless I ask you to do more. Nokoya, help Hitoshi with Ryoga."

They managed to draw Kogara himself offside with the ploy. They used the same pattern for second down and Hiroshi got good yardage before the fast Himoni took his flags. As it was, they were lucky. Ryoga went right through the two defenders like a hot knife and nearly got Barry in the backfield. The next down, Barry changed his plans and put Hiroshi, who had thrown some football with an American cousin, as quarterback and set himself on the line next to Hitoshi.

Together they stopped Ryoga, but Barry saw Kogara dart in on the hesitant Hiroshi. "Watch out!" he bellowed as the kendo captain swiped at a flag.

Hiroshi, suddenly aware of imminent danger rifled the ball long. Gos took it in the breadbasket and went down, dropping the ball in the process, the wind knocked out of him. Barry helped the tall, skinny boy stand as the rest of the team gave him a ribbing for being a wimp.

"Awww, give him a break. He's trying," Barry said. Gosunkugi was shocked again. Ranma was defending him? "Gos?" He stared at his long time nemesis. "When we pass to ya, we'll try to loft it. When ya catch it, run like hell until ya think someone's close, then drop and cover. Just hold on to that ball. Once both knees are on the ground, the ball is considered dead and nobody is allowed to touch ya, okay?"

"Uh… Thanks, Saotome."

Barry did a draw play next, with himself as quarterback. It might have worked if Ryoga had been just one step slower. Ryoga slammed right over him, stripping him of his flags and the ball, before he could hand off to Nokoya.

"Better watch out, Ranma," he said, tossing the ball up and down in one hand, a long-toothed smirk lighting his face. "This might be one you lose." Barry rose, his eyes gleaming.

"Run!" Kogara and Asuko yelled.

"From him?" Ryoga scoffed, turning to them in astonishment. Barry reached over and stripped off his flags. He handed them back to a puzzled Ryoga while his teammates groaned.

"When ya stripped the ball out of my hands, that was a fumble, Ryoga," Barry said smirking just slightly. "You guys now go on offense, but if ya had run, ya might have gotten a touchdown."

"W-what?" Ryoga shrilled. "Oh, hell! I forgot about that rule."

"Take it easy, buddy," Barry laughed. "Ya did get the ball back for yer team. It's up to them to do somethin' with it." Grinding his teeth, Ryoga started to walk to where he thought his team was. Barry caught him in two steps and turned him around. "Lighten up, Ryoga," he hissed. "It's just a game."

"Thanks, Barry," he whispered back. "You better remember that Ranma never treats _any_ competition as **'**just a game'."

"Good point," Barry sighed. "I'll try to remember that."

Kogara took advantage of field position and Ryoga's blocking to send both Himoni and Asuko as receivers. It paid off and Kogara smirked at Barry as his team scored and went up by six points. Extra points were handled by a single try from point-blank range to get into the end zone, and Barry tipped the pass just wide of Himoni's fingers.

Barry called a quick huddle before the kickoff. "I want Hiro and Dai to keep no more than two or three steps to the wide side of the field behind me after I catch the ball," he said quietly. "I could probably dodge everyone else, but with Himoni and Ryoga, they've got a good chance of getting me." They nodded, looking worried. "So, especially if Ryoga catches up with me, I'm going to lateral pass it to Daisuke. You're allowed to do that. Hiroshi, you follow Daisuke the same way. The rest of you concentrate on blocking Himoni and keep him away from the action. I'll handle Ryoga after the lateral." They pumped arms and broke the huddle, spreading wide.

Gosunkugi watched Ranma field the ball and begin to run. He ran, too, unthinking of the consequences until Kogara bore down on him with a self-satisfied smirk. Gos yelped and ducked forgetting for the moment that Ranma said that this worked when you were holding the ball. Kogara, thrusting hard with his hands to knock the skinny youth ass-over-teakettle, yelped himself as he met no resistance and tripped over Gos's back, taking them both down.

Barry danced down the field, shifting and twisting from lesser attempts to de-flag him. As he double-faked Asuko, his eyes were on Ryoga and Himoni who danced and moved laterally with him, herding him toward the sideline with Himoni on the outside. The Masanobi twins were suddenly there, blocking Himoni. Seeing his ally in trouble, Ryoga bore in before Barry could take advantage of the opening.

"Go, Dai!" Barry yelled, lateralling the ball to the young man.

Daisuke made tracks as Barry, relieved of the ball, blocked Ryoga away from Ranma's friend. After a moment, he realized that Ryoga was only resisting him, but not really trying to follow Daisuke. Puzzled, he stepped away and looked downfield, where Hiroshi moved across to block Himoni, who had nearly caught up with them, allowing Dai to score.

"What's up, Ryoga?" he asked. "Why didn't ya chase Dai?"

"According to Kogara," the tall broad-shouldered martial artist said, "all he wants me to do is stop you. That way I won't get lost."

"Oh, man, Ryoga! I'm feelin' the bruises already."

The extra point was good since Barry had Hiroshi literally run up his back to leap into the end zone, while Barry blocked Ryoga.

The kickoff was bad. Not just a bad kick, but a comedy of errors as well. A gust of wind tipped the ball slightly as Nokoya kicked it, and it skittered across the turf to bounce right into Ryoga's hands. Ryoga, shocked, looked up to see Barry barreling toward him and took off in a straight line with Barry as the guide. He slammed into Barry, ricocheted off and started toward his own end zone. Himoni caught him and turned him around just in time to run Barry over again. Barry stripped a flag as he went down and moments later, the twins, combined with Hiroshi and Daisuke, slowed him down long enough for Hitoshi Unryu to strip him of the other. By that time, though, Kogara was first-and-goal inside the ten-yard line, and most of Barry's team was nearly incapacitated. Kogara made it in, faking deep to Himoni and passing short to Asuko, who bulled in from the two-yard line before Barry could recover. Barry managed to slip Ryoga's block to prevent the extra point as Kogara tried to run it in.

Less than two minutes remained when Kogara kicked a nice booming shot down the center of the field. Using Ranma's superb reflexes, Barry only lost one flag to the initial rush and managed to cross centerfield before Ryoga and Himoni boxed him in. Their positioning did not allow a lateral and Barry had to settle for first down on the forty-two-yard line with thirty-seconds left.

"One shot, guys," Barry informed them. "Hiro, Dai, Hikaru, go long. If yer open, run like hell after ya catch it."

"Ummm... What about..." Gosunkugi began, nervously.

"Just run like hell, Hikaru. Run like hell."

On the rise above the field, the girl's gym class was returning after volleyball and stopped to watch the football game. Kodachi had seen several games before and was roughly describing the rules. The fiancées were suddenly riveted by a remark from Sayuri concerning Ranma, "Is it wise, all things considered, for Ranma to be without his shirt..."

At that, the entire gym class was focused on the martial artist, commenting on the play of the muscles beneath his skin and giving sidelong glances to the fiancées who had the potential, at least, to enjoy them. Barry's rush up field brought cheers and whistles from the crowd, and inquiries quickly determined that Ranma's team was behind and this was literally the last try.

Barry was too focused to even notice the girls. He checked his receivers, nodded and took the hike, dropping back and to the side to avoid Ryoga's initial rush. A twist avoided Kogara, but Hiro and Dai were in man-to-man coverage with Himoni and Asuko. There was no one to throw to except...

"Hey, Gos!"

Gosunkugi was scurrying down the sidelines, hoping to avoid this whole painful ordeal. He was feeling more than a little guilty. Ranma had been very civil for a change, but he really wasn't an asset in situations like this. He'd go to the end zone like Ranma wanted, then smile when they congratulated Ranma and either Hiroshi or Daisuke for having won the game. Somehow it was unthinkable, even to a sworn rival such as Gosunkugi considered himself to be, that Ranma would not pull this off.

"_Hey, Gos_!"

He turned hearing his name. He was just in the end zone; thankfully no one was near him. Ranma was dodging around like a cricket on a skillet, one flag gone and yelling... to _him_? Even as he watched, the pigtailed martial artist's arm went back and snapped forward. The ball arced high in the air, hanging for what seemed like long seconds.

"Hey, Gos! Catch this camera! It's got pictures of Akane from the ramen fight!" The last was sing-songed in a wheedling manner.

That got his full attention. His eyes snapped to Ranma who stumbled away from a late grab at a flag by Kogara. His eyes snapped up and widened as he focused on the odd shaped camera case with those pictures… He couldn't let them hit the ground. The film would be ruined if the case popped open. The spinning object grew steadily larger. His large bony hands reached out, caressing leather as the object slapped into them, and he pulled it protectively into his chest. The impact knocked him to the ground. But he didn't drop it. The world seemed to freeze in silence as he rolled to his side and sat up, the odd case cradled safely in his arms.

"_All right, GOS_!"

Suddenly, sound crashed back in on Hikaru Gosunkugi, as he was pulled smoothly to his feet, then hoisted in the air. What was going on? _His _bony form was being carried in triumph on the shoulders of Hiroshi and Daisuke? They let him slide to the ground in front of Ranma, who grinned and gave him a respectful bow as if he, Hikaru Gosunkugi, had done something... _right_?

"Great catch, Gos," Barry said. The members of both teams crowded around, congratulating the skinny youth. Girls suddenly were part of the crowd; one in particular seemed to glow as she approached Ranma.

"What was that I heard about pictures?" Akane Tendo stood, not one meter from Gosunkugi, her dark eyes flashing dangerously at Saotome.

"Chill out, Akane," Ranma replied smirking. "I was just giving the poor guy some incentive. It worked, too!"

"You claimed that had my pictures!" Akane seemed to swell large in his vision. "_Ranma_!"

Gosunkugi looked down at the football in his hands and fainted. Then the sprinklers came on.

A short, green-haired, busty, topless girl suddenly faced her classmates, as the sprinklers hissed and drenched everyone on the field. Hiroshi and Daisuke boggled at the new hair color, and water sizzled against the aura Akane was projecting. A low animal growl sounded from the males on the field, still adrenaline charged from the game.

"Ah, ha-ha-ha! Akane, I only mentioned it to help Gos! It's not like nothin' never happened up north!" She began back-pedaling, eyes wide at the possibilities. "Guys! _Guys_! Just remember, I'm a _guy_; I'm not a girl, even if I look like one right now." Barry broke and ran. With a howl, the mob was after her. She ran, legs churning, arms pumping, breasts bobbing disarmingly. "C'mon now! Leave me alone, dammit! I'm a martial artist, for Pete's sake!" She zigzagged up and over the rise, passing Kogara, laughing beside the sprinkler controls. A single thrust of an arm bounced him off the wall of the building and into the path of the oncoming mob. Kogara was messily trampled.

Down on the field, Ukyo clucked in irritation and picked up a little black pig and his clothes, while Kodachi retrieved a soggy, pink cat and her clothes.

"Actually, it has been rather quiet of late," commented Kodachi, tucking Shampoo under an arm.

"It coulda stayed quiet, thank you," grumbled Ukyo. A squeal from the pig seemed to agree, 'you said it!' "Let's get these two changed back and get to class."

"That seems a most reasonable course, Kuonji."

Around the perimeter of the school, a green-haired form yelled and complained in its flight, while pursuers, and a growing number of spectators inside the building, yelled suggestions to the leading participants.

Daisuke and Hiroshi were actually close to the front, hauling a kettle between them. "Ranma," they shouted. "Slow down! We've got hot water and your shirt with us!"

"Why the new hair color? Is there something you're not telling your best friends?" added Daisuke.

"Hiro! Dai! Speed up!" she shrilled back. "I got a tomboy chasing me!"

On the third floor, Miss Hinako and Mrs. Morisato exchanged glances. Hinako drew out a fifty-yen coin and readied for their next pass. Mrs. Morisato looked skyward for guidance.

* * *

Barry wandered over to Ukyo at lunchtime. The okonomiyaki chef seemed angrier than normal and Barry suspected that it was not because of the incident at gym.

"Hi, Ukyo."

"What is it, baka?"

"Need a shoulder to cry on?" Barry offered. Across the lawn, Ryoga sat with a dark-haired girl and a huge pig. Ukyo froze for a second, glanced over at Ryoga and then glared at Barry.

"Not yours," she said flatly. She flipped a 'yaki and swept her arm across to dazzle it with sauce, then seemed to shrug, lightning movements floating it onto a plate. "Kusinaro, your order's done!" She flipped another okonomiyaki on her grill and let it cook while she readied some more batter.

Barry took in the extra-large circle of batter beginning to sizzle and felt his taste buds grab him by the throat. "Um, who's that one for?" he asked plaintively. His stomach growled.

"The pig."

Barry frowned. "Ukyo... I mean, I say bad things about Ryoga sometimes, to keep up the act and tease him, but you really shouldn't blame..."

"Not Ryoga," she said impatiently. "The pig! Katsunishiki." She flipped the smaller pancake and crisscrossed it with two sauces and laid it aside. "I don't blame Ryoga or Akari for my stupidity," she told him. She added toppings to the sizzling disc and, after a moment, flipped it.

"It's funny," Barry said after a moment. "Of all the fiancées, you've been hurt the worst by Ranma, paid for it in years of self-denial and training, yet you're the most normal of them all."

"I'm not impressed and flattery doesn't work on me, Barry-baka," she hissed at him.

"Flattery is when you lie, or stretch the truth out of proportion for your own, or someone else's, benefit," he said quietly. "The honest truth always has power."

She shivered slightly. Barry was dangerous in totally unexpected ways. "You're a manipulative bastard, Barry."

He shrugged. "I won't argue with you, Ukyo. I have an idea I want to bounce off you. We have a unique opportunity in this martial arts competition. It's possible that the university library might have the information we need to get Ranma back." Ukyo nodded. After her initial anger at discovering the situation dissipated, she acknowledged that herself. "The trouble is, Nabiki doesn't have the time or the background to search for the information and most of the time Ryoga and Akane have is spent on the train, not research."

"Get to the point," she said impatiently, swirling sauce over the giant okonomiyaki and using her mega-spat as a plate to lift it from the grill. She reached under and shut off the gas, letting the residual heat keep her own lunch warm.

"I wondered if you'd be interested in opening a second branch of Ucchan's at the university," he said. "I know Nodoka wants to restore honor between the Saotome's and the Kuonji's. This would be a start in her eyes, and if we ran a special, as you sometimes do to attract customers, we might be able to get other people to do our work for us."

Ukyo's face was stony as she considered his idea. "What kind of special would this be?"

Barry barely restrained a sigh of relief. He had half-expected outright rejection. "October 31st is Halloween in America. If we made some connection to that and gave a discount for authentic tales of the supernatural from our own cultural heritage, with bibliographical proof, we'd have the university students hunting our information for us. Ryoga could visit from time to time to sift out the useful source material."

She snorted. "And who would run this start up franchise? I certainly don't have the time."

"Not even for Ranma?" Ukyo went still, giving him an icy stare. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I shouldn't have said that."

"Damn straight."

"If Konatsu ran the business there, I would help you here the way Ranma did when he was working off the Gambler King debts." He held up a hand as she began to object. "When we're in school, Nodoka would cover Ucchan's. She's a trained gourmet cook, Ukyo. I think you can teach her enough to cover for Konatsu, and Nabiki could find housing for Konatsu on campus."

"You've got this all figured out?"

"Let's say I've explored the available options."

Barry swallowed at her indecipherable look. "I'll get back to you."

Ukyo turned and walked away, a smile lighting her face as she approached the couple under the tree. "Nice to see you back, Akari."

Akane slid up to Barry's side. Glancing around to make sure Shampoo and Kodachi were otherwise occupied, she whispered, "What did she say?"

"I think she'll help, but she's still pretty pissed at me and upset over herself and Ryoga."

Akane shook her head sadly. "You remember that Ranma and I thought they were pretty close a couple of times?"

"Yeah. Maybe they were closer than even they thought themselves. But they wouldn't let go, so now here they are." Barry sighed. "We better find our resident Machiavellians before they come up with any new plans to drug my food or ambush me in the halls."

"Come on, Barry; Shampoo's not doing that any more."

He grinned. "It's nice not to be glomped, but I swear I can feel her twitch sometimes. I know I'm... Ranma is still in her sights."

"Ranma, Akane!" Hiroshi and Daisuke slid over. Akane glowered at them and they slid sidewise to place Ranma between them. "Heh-heh. You're not still angry with us, are you?"

"Dousing me with the hot water, then suggesting I rub against Ranma to make him change was not my idea of a good idea!"

"We're sorry. Ranma ducked when we were trying to douse him," Hiroshi quavered.

"From one of your mallets, I might add," inserted Daisuke darkly.

"We hit you by accident," Hiroshi finished, scowling at Daisuke for being so stupid as to criticize Akane while in reach. Akane, in fact, began to shift around Ranma and soon they were circling the pigtailed boy like planets around a sun.

"Yeah," Daisuke agreed, ignoring the glare. "Hinako was coming, and we didn't want Ranma to get into more trouble about perversion..."

"And you _are_ his fiancée!"

"So I was supposed to impress Miss Hinako by rubbing up against a half-naked girl?" Akane shrilled.

"It would only have been for a few seconds," Daisuke pointed out.

"Guys," Barry said warningly. He could hear Akane's molars grinding.

"I mean it turned out that way, anyway, when Hinako zapped us all!"

"Only because baka, here, grabbed me and tried to shield me with his body!"

"Her body, at that point," Hiroshi primly pointed out.

"Guys, ya ain't makin' this better," Barry said alarmed as he felt Akane's ki powering up. The shorthaired girl faked left, then spun right, around Barry, to grab two collars in hands that could shatter stone. "Akane, come on," he protested. "They're not martial artists!"

"Ummm," stammered Hiroshi. "Besides, we were coming over to tell you something."

"Yes, something important!" chimed in Daisuke.

"Something you really want to hear!" Hiroshi agreed as Daisuke bobbed his head in agreement.

"Like a couple of perverts like you have anything I want to hear," sneered Akane, twisting their collars. Barry looked around for Miss Hinako, not for Akane's sake, but for Ranma's friends.

"It has to do with the winter play," hinted Daisuke.

"Yeah! When Ranma torpedoed _South Pacific_, they had to come up with a different one."

"It has something to do with Christmas and sugar-plum kami, or something," Daisuke finished lamely, glancing at his friend for support and accurate information. Hiroshi shrugged desperately and Daisuke groaned. Neither one was doing well under pressure. Salvation came from an unexpected source.

"Are you talking about the ballet, _The Nutcracker Suite_, and the _Dance of the Sugar-Plum Fairy_?" Ranma asked in disbelief. Akane released the pair with a gasp of recognition.

"Yeah, that!" said Hiroshi in relief, loosening his collar.

"Exactly! Hot off the presses!" agreed Daisuke, who was a reporter on the high school newspaper staff.

Barry felt a shudder run through Akane's ki and glanced at her with concern. He almost gagged. She stood on tiptoe, hands clasped before her breast, eyes filled with stars. 'She has it bad!' he thought. He waved a hand in front of her face. "Yo, tomboy! Anybody home?"

Hiroshi and Daisuke knew opportunity when they saw it. They retreated rapidly, Daisuke calling out over his shoulder, "Auditions are second week of November. See you there!"

As they departed, Hiroshi nodded to Daisuke. "You were right, I'll give you that. She reacted the same way when she was offered the part in _Romeo and Juliet_."

"She's got it bad," said Daisuke. He looked over his shoulder at Ranma who was being joined by the other martial artists of their circle, still trying to get a response out of Akane. "You know, I bet Ranma has it bad, too."

"It would explain the green hair."

"He is a bit of an exhibitionist." Daisuke considered. "So is Akane! Remember the Ramen Noodle fight? _Wow!_"

"We're doing them a favor," Hiroshi said gleefully.

"Do you think Shampoo...?" Daisuke asked hesitantly.

"I ain't gonna ask her," Hiroshi retorted shuddering. "I'm not that fond of wedgies!"

Back at the star-struck Akane, Barry straightened as Ukyo, Ryoga, Shampoo and Kodachi joined them.

"Kodachi, you using paralysis powder again?" Shampoo inquired, waving her hand in front of the transfixed girl's face.

"Even my concoctions don't work this well, Shampoo," the other retorted while peering at Akane, poking her in the ribs with a finger and getting zero response.

"Sheesh!" exclaimed Ryoga. "She's under deeper than Mousse was the other night."

"Maybe pork-boy want try to wake up same way?" Shampoo suggested slyly.

"W-wh-what do you mean by that?" stammered Ryoga, his eyes darting around to see if Akari was still in earshot. His face reddened. "We're just friends, now, dammit!"

Shampoo snickered and watched Ukyo for some reaction.

"Hah, hah!" Ukyo said dryly. "So how do you plan to wake her, baka?" she asked Barry. 'If you say _with a kiss_, you're in a world of hurt,' her eyes promised.

Barry grinned at Ukyo and pursed his lips, leaning forward just enough to get her knuckles white on her mega-spatula, then whistled the opening bars of the _Dance of the Sugar-Plum Fairy_. Akane's attention flickered and she half turned toward him. Assured of her attention, he deliberately soured the notes until Akane shuddered and covered her ears.

"Barry." She fell silent as she became aware of her audience.

"Yeah, a ballet," Barry covered for her. "I knew ya were inta Shakespeare, but I never thought ya liked prancin' the way they do in that sorta thing."

"Oh, my _god_!" Akane covered her face in embarrassment. She couldn't remember the last time she zoned out like that! But next to Romeo and Juliet…

"What happen, Akane?" asked Shampoo. "You really out of it. Ask Ryoga marry you," she added.

"I did _what_?" Akane turned wide-eyed and gullible to the Amazon.

"_Shampoo_," shouted Barry and Ryoga in unison.

"Just teasing, Akane," she said with a smile. "Really! You look like girl in shoji manga." Shampoo briefly assumed Akane's blank-eyed position. "What do?"

"Grammar, Shampoo," sighed Barry. "'What did that?' It was caused because Akane here (grumble) apparently likes to act and they're putting on some ballet called _Nutcracker…_ Now what?"

Shampoo had dissolved into snickers again. "You know what English slang mean, you know this one good show for Akane!" (Snicker!)

Ryoga was grinning. Barry, well aware of possible connotations, groaned. This could get ugly. He turned to Ukyo. "Ya might wanna warn Konatsu that you'll be gone this weekend. We need ta sign up for the competition. If yer interested in that business proposition I asked ya about, we could also look around for property, or materials for a yatai, if that's what ya prefer."

"All right," she answered him, still looking puzzled by Shampoo and Ryoga's humor and Akane's growing agitation. "I'm still thinking about it, but I should be able to decide by then."

A light hand made Barry jump as Shampoo recaptured his attention. "Airen, I talk with Grandmother about competition. She say maybe Shampoo show Japanese womans... women, how Joketsuzoku fight." She smiled. "So, I in. I am in," she corrected.

"I'll have a ticket for you. Mousse or Granny planning to go?"

"Just Shampoo," she answered warmly. Barry felt his temperature rise. Either Shampoo was finally watching and copying the right performances, or his long separation from Gwen was beginning to wear on him. Besides, she smelled good.

"Uh-huh. Let's see... Akane, Ukyo, Ryoga, Shampoo and me. We have at least five of the eight events covered and…"

"Count me in, please."

"What?"

Kodachi considered her nails and smiled secretively. "I agree not to attack my opponents before the match and to use nothing but standard equipment in the competition." She smiled when everyone acted as if she'd grown a third head. "That is, provided Ryoga and you, Ranma-sama continue to train me."

"Count on it," said her lodestar.

"Sounds great!" admitted the cute fanged boy, so like Ranma in many ways.

"Kodachi become warrior!" Shampoo pumped the air and yodeled.

"Welcome aboard, Kodachi," Akane congratulated her.

For an instant, the barriers dropped and they saw Kodachi, not the Black Rose. She turned, suddenly shy, and walked quickly away. "Please, reserve me a ticket for tomorrow, my love," she threw over her shoulder at Barry.

"Was that freak-me-out-laughing, Black-Rose Kodachi?" asked Ukyo astonished. "I didn't think she knew how to say 'please'!"

"Black Rose never say 'please'," Shampoo agreed, smiling.

Akane nodded. "Maybe we're finally seeing Kodachi."


	36. Signing Up

**Guest Ki: Chapter 35**

_**Signing Up**_

The train ride to the university was uneventful. Well, mostly uneventful. Some man took one look at Barry and ran off the train screaming something about ghosts. The teenagers shrugged and put it down to the work-related stress some salarymen had to endure. Then Kodachi demonstrated that she had a unique way to deal with perverts, despite her general unfamiliarity with public transportation. When accosted, a black rose appeared from nowhere and seconds later, that man ran out of the car yelling something about spiders and crabs. Other than that, it was perfectly peaceful and everyone gave them plenty of space. Nabiki met them at the station, a bit surprised by the crowd. Eyeing Kodachi, she pulled Barry aside at first opportunity.

"What's she doing here?" she hissed.

"She's planning to compete," Barry said.

"Are you crazy?" Nabiki asked. "She could ruin the whole thing. She's notorious for her antics and if even one person comes up injured before the competition, they might throw her and everyone associated with her, out on their ears!"

"Nabiki, she promised to behave. She's in." Nabiki looked ready to throw a fit. "Nabs, ya gotta admit she's good."

"How should I know? I've never seen her compete except against Ranma," she hissed. "Besides, there are other problems."

"She _promised_, Nabiki. Ryoga and I are training her."

"Wonderful! A more lethal version of Kodachi," Nabiki grumbled.

"At least her brother isn't here. He's a good kendoist, but…"

"Saotome." Tatewaki Kuno stood before him, once again in his familiar kendo garb, armed with his bokken. Barry felt a faint thrill run through him and wondered if Ranma's body missed the workouts with Kuno. "I heard my pigtailed goddess and Akane Tendo would be here; and so, interrupted my busy schedule." He looked Ranma up and down with disgust. "I should have known you would be here as well!"

"Well, speak of the devil…"

"Dare you mock me?" Kuno suddenly drew and thrust. Barry swayed aside. Kuno's form was smoother than before, more complete and less predictable. He dodged several strikes and disrupted Kuno's pressure wave attack before it got started. Predictably, a slash struck a water fountain and Barry went girl. Kuno froze, staring. "G-g-green hair," he stuttered. Almost hypnotized, he reached out and touched it. Barry allowed him that slight liberty before stepping away.

"Just a disguise, okay?" she said, moving out of range. "Dye went wrong," she added for about the millionth time.

"It is rather dry, my love," Kuno said thoughtfully. "Still, in your attempt to escape from that demon, Saotome, I can understand your sacrifice!"

"Moron," muttered Barry. She looked around for Nabiki. This had to be her work. "Nabiki!"

"Ummm, right here," came the almost timid reply. "Sorry I didn't warn you about Blue Blunder."

"That's _Blue Thunder_ and you know it, Nabiki Tendo," Kuno grumbled. "When you called Sasuke about the competition, I was intrigued. I have not had sufficient challenge for some time. I must admit I almost enjoyed seeing Saotome for even this short time. He is more of a challenge than most, even though he flees before I can strike the finishing blow and hides behind the fairer sex such as my goddess." As he spoke, he clasped Barry's hands and drew her closer. He glomped. Kuno toppled as a foot shot up and drove under his chin, breaking his contact with the girl.

Barry glared at Nabiki. "Did it have to be _him_?"

"The only other decent kendoist I know is Kogara Daibunmasatsu. He's on Nikki's list, unfortunately." Neither noticed the two figures coming along the platform.

"Is that Ranma?"

Barry turned and boggled. "Nagasameru?"

The girl with the Godzilla-sword nodded and reached back to drag a huge young man forward. "This is my fiancé, Shinzoo." The big man bobbed a bow, looking nervous. "Are you here for the competition?"

"Yes, we are," admitted Barry. She eyed the pair and grinned. "Sumo, right?" she asked Shinzoo. "Pleased ta meetcha! Howdja hear about the competition?"

"Nabiki Tendo called us. She thought it might be nice to meet under more normal circumstances." She suddenly noticed Nabiki. "Oh, hi!"

Barry laughed. "Nothin's ever normal about _this_ gang!"

Shinzoo stared at Barry and reached out a finger to almost prod her in the chest. "Excuse me, but are you really a boy?"

"Find me some hot water and I'll show ya," answered Barry, ignoring the near invasion of her space. "You competin', too?" she asked the tall girl.

"No, I only came to be with Shinzoo." Nagasameru glanced shyly at her fiancé. "I think you know all about parents who sometimes interfere too much."

Barry snorted. "Yer singin' to the choir, 'Sama."

"Where is the knave who felled me?" shouted Kuno sitting up suddenly. "Was it you who struck the cowardly blow?" He looked accusingly at the mountainous sumo wrestler.

"Don't mind him, he's nuts," Barry told them. "Ya hafta know how to talk ta him." She turned to Kuno and brought her hands up between her breasts. "Oh, Kuno, this friendly giant did see thy plight and, with thunderous steps, drew nigh affrighting the cretin who struck thee unaware. Thus, he is thy benefactor, not thy foe. Take heart! For many here are friends where thou thought none but enemies did lie and they, if thou but open thine inner eye, may yet aid thee in thy darkest battle."

"Ranma, why you talk like stick-boy?" Shampoo wandered over. "It not bad enough he here?" She suddenly recognized Nagasameru. "Aiya! Extra fiancée come back to take Ranma!"

Barry snorted. '_Extra_ fiancée?' Suddenly, all the gang was present, preparing for action. "Hold it! Hold everything." She jumped between and refereed the potential melee. "I think you girls should meet Shinzoo..."

She turned to him and he stammered, "Tamanaki."

"Shinzoo Tamanaki, who is Nagasameru's fiancé. Congratulations, by the way," Barry added, grinning up at the huge man.

"Um, thanks." Shinzoo was obviously in trouble. "You're really..."

Akane returned with a cup of hot water and dumped it on Barry. He grew twenty centimeters and forty kilos, and Shinzoo looked like he had grown faint. He did poke Ranma in the chest then, cringed and looked at his finger.

"Don't worry, it's not catchin'," Barry informed him. "If ya get an invite to Jusenkyo in China, don't go, unless ya want yer life to get real interestin'."

"I'll try to remember that."

"Ranma, what's with the green hair?" Nagasameru asked.

Barry hung his head. "_Man_! Nabiki, we really hafta do somethin' about this. If I get wet while we're signin' up..."

"Only thing we can do is try dying it back," said Nabiki. "Otherwise the hair will just have to grow out. Why not try nice conventional black?"

"But I like..." Akane began to object. She went silent, her mouth open as everyone turned toward her. Shampoo's mouth twitched, Nabiki's brow rose and Kodachi covered her mouth with a fan. Ukyo shook her head in disgust. "I am not a pervert. I'm… I'm just used to the red hair," Akane muttered sourly, hanging her head.

Barry punched her fondly in the arm. "It'll grow back, tomboy, but the last thing we need is for Nikki to get wise to us." Akane looked up, curious. Barry hadn't said anything to her beyond a few graphic details of Nikki's punishment, which included, as a final insult, a Shampoo-style wedgie. She felt he was about to say something significant.

"Spit it out," she said. "What haven't you told us about Nikki?"

"Oh, I must have forgotten to mention the body tattoos he seemed so fond of." Barry said it nonchalantly, but the tension was obvious. "Whoa, Akane, calm down. The only one at risk here is your sister, and we talked about that, after I showed Nikki and his local muscle that Nabiki had protection of her own. We're not even sure the kid is really yakuza. He's a pretentious bastard and might be playing a role himself."

"With our luck, he is, though," Akane muttered.

"The money involved is not a yakuza-sized bankroll, Akane," Barry retorted. "He's got cash, but not that much. If he _is_ Yakuza, he's small fry working his way through a degree. Yakuza don't like publicity. If he makes too much stink, they may go after him. They certainly won't consider him enough of an asset to defend if he can't handle one little girl!"

"How do you know so much about the Yakuza?" snapped Akane.

He jerked his thumb at the university buildings visible in the distance. "They operate much like the Triad but more polite, normally. I read up on them after I dealt those kidnappers, remember? Kwan and Miki? I mean Pops and I have run into them before, but I thought I'd get a little more info—_urk_!"

Akane heaved Ranma's weight clear of the floor and let her aura flare briefly. "This is so damn like you!" Those who knew of Barry knew she was referring to a complaint common to herself and Ukyo — don't act like Ranma unless you absolutely have to. To Nagasameru and Shinzoo, it was all new and fairly alarming.

"Uh... You weren't planning on entering sumo wrestling, were you, Tendo-san?" Shinzoo attempted to jest while he observed how easily this girl held her fiancé at arm's length.

"Nah," Barry answered grinning. "We didn't think that'd be fair to you guys!" (POW! Wheeee!) "That was _so_ un-cute!"

"Don't worry," Nabiki said, patting Nagasameru and Shinzoo encouragingly on the shoulders as they cringed from a glowing Akane. "This happens all the time. You'll get used to it."

"Well struck, Akane." Tatewaki Kuno rose from where Barry had earlier knocked him cold and brushed himself off. "I always feel my heart lift when you deal with that obnoxious clod in the manner he deserves."

"Eeep!" Akane had forgotten about him. "What are you doing here, Kuno?"

"Seeking to challenge myself. When Sasuke brought me the announcement, I almost refused. Then I heard that my two beloved beauties would be there as well. How could I resist such a sword challenge?" He preened in the annoying way he had. "Besides, we were interrupted in our previous discussion. Perhaps Sasuke was less than polite?" He glanced down at her, ignoring her anger.

"Tell me, Kuno," Akane said smoldering. "What's polite about being propositioned like a common whore?" (POW! Wheeee!)

"Nice placement, Akane," Shampoo complimented her. "He should land right next to Ranma."

"Should we wait for him?" asked Ukyo, shading her eyes to see where he landed. "If our baka found water as usual, Kuno should be coming back in short order."

"I wonder..." began Nagasameru, sweating.

"Here he comes," said Kodachi with satisfaction. "I wonder what he said to gain such a speedy return trip." Everyone stood aside as Kuno crashed down and skidded into a planter. The girls fished out signs reading '6.0', '5.7', '6.0', and Kodachi's '4.2'. "Well, someone has to be the Romanian judge," she commented.

Moments later Barry, male and smelling of tea, stomped back. He looked around, marched over to the groggy Tatewaki and grabbed him by the throat.

"Don't you _ever_ grab a girl like that," he snarled at the bruised kendoist. He shook him a few times. "Do it again and you won't have a hand ta pull back! Understand?"

"No," replied the confused young man.

Barry purpled, then sighed and dropped him. "Ya ain't worth it," he growled. "Come on, Akane." He stalked away.

"Whew!" Akane walked quickly and meekly beside the man she had, moments before, sent over the horizon. "What happened?"

"I got outa the fountain ya landed me in and was squeezin' out my shirt. I never heard the bastard coming. Then, _bang_! Kuno's wrapped around me like a human octopus, with one hand on my tits and the other down my—!" Barry went white, then red and made a negating slash with one hand. "Maybe the idiot didn't know what he was doing, but I sure as hell wasn't waiting around to find out." He grinned slightly as the immediate shock of the incident gave way to humor. "Sent him back by return air express. Hope he missed everything feminine on the way in."

"We moved," Akane replied absently. She hesitated and almost turned back to beat on Kuno. The _nerve_ of that pervert!

The next stop was Nabiki's apartment. Akane was expecting a closet. Barry was half-expecting a mansion. It wasn't a mansion, but it was very spacious compared to normal housing in Tokyo.

"I got a good deal."

"Nabiki," Akane growled.

"No, really! The guy who owns this place owes me. I live here in lieu of repayment. My only expense is electricity and water." She smiled. "And my half of the groceries of course. My present roommate does the cooking and cleaning."

"What kind of reduction on her rent does that get her?" asked Ukyo, looking around. The place was easily the size of the cottage she repaired in the mountains and far better furnished.

"You wound me, Kuonji," Nabiki said. "I hate cooking and housework. She takes care of all that and I'm happy to pay the bills. She's quiet, studious, undemanding and, if she has boyfriends, doesn't bother me with them. She's an engineering student at the university. You'll meet her later, I'm sure."

"Probably as close as she could find to a Kasumi-clone," muttered Barry to Akane. Akane smiled, thinking fondly of her big sister.

"There's enough space for everyone to sleep here, if you folks stay the weekend. And if you decide to go with Ranma's idea of opening a branch of Ucchan's on campus, Konatsu could use the room over there." Nabiki pointed to a narrow door which, when opened, revealed a room four tatami in area. Ukyo nodded. It was double the size of Konatsu's room at Ucchan's.

"Now, let's do something about that hair of yours."

Minutes later Barry, girl again, was bent backwards over the sink in the apartment's spacious bathroom. Her hair was unbraided in preparation for the new dye that Nabiki brandished in one hand. With an exclamation of disgust, Shampoo snatched the bottle from Nabiki's hand.

"This very bad for hair," she admonished. "No wonder dye go wrong. See this chemical, here… and here?" She pointed to two multi-syllabic roman-ji words that made Nabiki's eyes hurt. "These cause bad hair, if water chemicals not perfect," she added with authority. She looked around and grabbed a notepad from the counter and wrote several words in roman-ji and one in Chinese. "You get these. This strip old dye without hurting hair more. This one new dye, work good; help make hair nice again. This one," she pointed to the Chinese name, "it strip out new dye, finish job to make hair nice, like before."

"Since when are you an expert?" Nabiki began outraged, but stopped when Akane shook her head and pointed to her own hair. Suddenly Nabiki recalled the hair-styling technique Shampoo used on Akane back when she first arrived. "Okay, I forgot. You _are_ an expert."

"Better than Chinese chef," Shampoo declaimed proudly.

"Then why didn't you open a hair salon instead of a restaurant?" Ukyo asked. "Some of those places just roll in yen."

"Who ever see man come to hair salon?" Shampoo asked disdainfully. Her audience laughed. That was certainly true! "Only one good thing old training say to me, 'way to man's heart through stomach'." She slapped Ranma's hard abdominals, causing her to sit upright in reflex. "True in martial arts, too," she added thoughtfully.

Barry gagged. She knew Shampoo was referring to a particularly devastating blow that directed force up into the body cavity to rupture the heart. "Did you have to say that, Amazon," he growled, running his hand through the hot water in the sink. Shampoo made an odd gesture with both hands, open fingers covering the eyes. Barry hadn't seen it before and couldn't find it in Ranma's memories.

"I'll get them, I'll get them," grumbled Nabiki. She walked over to the door of the apartment and yanked it open, startling the girl who stood, key in hand, to enter. "Whoops! Sorry, Sakurida. Why don't you come in and meet my guests?" Nabiki said. The slender girl with long, dark hair peered around Nabiki and smiled. "Sakurida Kamiko..."

"We've met," offered Akane with a hint of shock. Mrs. Morisato's sister was Nabiki's roommate?

"Hi, everybody," Sakurida said, lighting up the place with her smile. She froze as Tatewaki thrust himself forward and bowed taking her hand.

"Lo, it is as if a star of heaven were sent to earth to dwell among the strident masses, shining joy upon their simple lives! Yet, let not your scintillating presence neither fade nor be diminished by the shadows herein. Nay; let my light join with yours, for together we may shine so brightly..." He sank to his knees.

"Is this guy for real?" Sakurida asked plaintively, trying to retrieve her hand.

"He said, 'You're pretty; I'm pretty, too. We make a good couple'," Nabiki interpreted.

"...An example to all, that heaven and earth may together reflect and enlighten creation! Still thy fragrant, beating heart, for I wouldst nurture it and make it grow..."

Nabiki continued her interpretation of Kuno's monologue. "Ummm... 'You're a sweet smelling flower', I think, 'and he's a pile of—!'"

"Nabiki Tendo," shouted Kuno, jumping to his feet, "must you denigrate the poet's soul?"

"A poet, no. A pervert, well..."

"A pervert?" There was a sudden 'crinkle-pop!' and a hammer seemed to appear, imbedded in Kuno's cranium. Sakurida stepped back as he crumbled, twitching. She stopped and stared as Akane, Ukyo, Kodachi, Shampoo and Nabiki held up signs listing '6.0', '5.9', '5.5', '5.8', and '6.0' respectively. "What!" she sweated.

"Just business as usual with this crowd, Sakurida. Don't let it worry you," Barry said, leaning against the wall. "Let's just say, we're all proud of your discerning judgment and incisive action."

They met up with Ryoga and Akari outside the registrar's office to complete their group. As planned, Nabiki was not with them, since she hoped to avoid a direct connection between herself and the martial artists from Nerima. Barry, having been here before, led them in.

"Uh-oh," he said slowing. "Akane, ya see the guy with the arm in a cast?"

"That's Nikki?" The man she saw was tall and athletic-looking, with an unpleasant, self-indulged appearance to him, almost as if his looks and health came out of a bottle or from a surgeon, rather than effort and self-discipline. She instinctively disliked him. "You didn't hurt him enough," she growled.

"Easy, tomboy! Think 'big picture'," Barry cautioned. "If he comes over, make him think yer less skilled than you are. Nabiki's plan has us beat him in the pocketbook... and from the looks of him, that'll hurt him more than poundin' on him ever would."

"Didn't you tell Cologne off about using the 'big picture' scenario?" she asked suspiciously.

"Sure, but that was hers and this is ours!" He grinned impudently. His features froze. "Oh, hell! He's going after Shampoo."

Nikki moved in what was intended to be a casual glide, but was hampered by a limp. He sidled over and trapped Shampoo against a wall. He didn't touch her yet. She glanced up, wide-eyed at this intrusion of her space and frowned. Apparently, she didn't like him any better than Akane.

"Hi there, cutie," he smirked. "Are you visiting, or will we be ships that pass in the night? I've the experience to pilot you to a good port."

"This ship want steer clear of you," she answered him. "Not interested in junk with high mileage and…" She glanced over him with distaste. "...low performance!"

He flushed in rage and began to reach out with his good hand.

"Nikki!" The voice held the implacable ring of authority. The creep hesitated and turned. A short man in an impeccable suit stood in the doorway. "You do not belong here."

"I belong where I want, Daikansatsu-sensei."

"This office is open today only for martial artists who plan to compete in the upcoming exhibition, Nikki." Daikansatsu glared at the injured yakuza wannabe. "Did you ever consider that even an indifferent martial artist could severely injure you in your condition? And before you say 'this is _only_ a girl', must I speak of what happened last weekend?"

Nikki flushed and moved away from Shampoo. "Maybe we'll hook up later," he suggested.

"Rather hook up with high-voltage line! Shampoo think much more fun," she snipped, "and last longer."

"Why, you purple-haired..."

"Nikki, _out_!" roared Daikansatsu. The young man glared sourly and left. "Young idiot," the older man snorted. "No respect for anything or anyone."

He turned his attention to the new arrivals. "I apologize for Nikki's interference. Unfortunately, the days are past when someone like myself possessed the authority to cane the delinquent as deserved, on general principles." He bowed slightly. "Please, come into my office, all of you." Inside, he sat down in a plain swivel office chair and introduced himself. "My name is Toronaga Daikansatsu. I have the honor to chair the Philosophy Department. I am in charge of the registration for the martial arts competition."

Something clicked in Ranma's memories. It itched for a moment and became clear. "You are Grand Master Daikansatsu?" He used the title that inferred the man's expertise and his acknowledged training of several masters of his Art. He felt the stillness in the others behind him. "I am honored," he said bowing. "I am Ranma Saotome of the Mutsabetsu Kakuto Ryu."

"Huh!" the Grand Master snorted. "I know of Happosai and I have your application on my desk. Why should I permit a troublemaker who never competed or contributed to the Art into our tournament?"

Barry gulped.

"Just when were you going to tell me you had already applied?" hissed Akane crossly.

Behind him, the others were silent, awed perhaps by the status of the man before them. Barry considered and smiled slightly. Better give it the old BS try… "Grand Master, if you have heard of me, then you should know I defend the weak and seek to help those in need. If I have a reputation, all I can say is that any stone cast in a lake will make ripples. The larger the stone, the further away the ripples are seen. Yet the ripples are not the stone. Whether the stone is slag or granite or diamond, the ripples are the same. Disturbing serenity in some places, adding beauty in others. Whether you seek the stone, Grand Master, or remark on the ripples, the stone remains the same. Will you seek the stone?"

"Hmmm." The Grand Master gave him a long look before turning his focus to the others. "You," he said, inclining his head to Shampoo, "would be the Joketsuzoku, Xian Pu." She nodded. "Ryoga Hibiki; I met your father for lunch last week, by the way. He's looking well. Ukyo Kuonji, I stopped at Ucchan's for dinner when I was in Nerima last year. My compliments!" He smiled slightly as he turned elsewhere."With that sword, you must be Nagasameru Mirotomanya. Will you be competing in kendo, my dear?"

"My fiancé competes in sumo, honored Grand Master. I am a junior only, this year."

"I would like to invite you to demonstrate that sword of yours. The nodachi is an esteemed part of our heritage and few wield it competently these days."

"I...I would be honored."

"Shinzoo Tamanaki, we received your application for the coming semester. May I assume you will be part of our student body regardless of the outcome of the tournament?"

"Yes, Grand Master," Shinzoo bowed as he spoke.

"Ah, there you are; Akane Tendo of the Tendo Dojo. Is your father, Soun, well?" Akane gulped. The Grand Master seemed to know everything and everyone!

"Y-yes, Grand Master."

"He was very close to becoming Grand Master in kempo himself, just prior to your mother's death. Dare I hope you might aspire to his dream?"

Akane felt faint. "At one time I would not have presumed. But now, perhaps." He smiled faintly.

"Tatewaki and Kodachi Kuno." The Grand Master looked them over sternly. "I cannot, despite appearances to the contrary, forbid your entries into the competition. But you two trouble me greatly."

"Honored Grand Master?" Barry bowed, appalled at his temerity considering he might already be on thin ice. He was becomingconcerned by the roiling he saw in Kodachi's ki. For a long moment, he thought he would be totally ignored, a pointed and biting criticism of his impudence.

"Speak!"

"I have personally fought with both of the Kunos, as allies and, more often, as enemies. Tatewaki, in combat, is honorable and formidable. My problem with him and his with me, stem from matters outside the Art. Kodachi has... a different perspective. It is my belief, however, that she plans to approach this competition in good faith and honor. I support her in this."

Daikansatsu sat impassive; giving no sign that what Barry said meant anything. Finally he rose and nodded to them. "Compete in honor. If you will speak with my secretary, she will supply you with the forms," he said. It was a warning as well as a dismissal.

Barry nodded. He'd put his foot in it again, and with a Grand Master, no less!

"Saotome, stay a moment."

Barry stopped immediately and closed the door behind Akane who was the last to exit. He turned and faced the Grand Master, mind racing to determine how his intelligence network could have... Suddenly, at least part of it clicked into place.

"Ah, I see you understand how I found out about all of you," Daikansatsu said smugly.

"I'mimpressed, Grand Master. It was my entry into the competition, then?" He watched the other's face carefully. There was something familiar about him.

"In part. You might say I've been waiting for you to show up." The short, neat man steepled his fingers and looked amused. "My older brother's daughter wasonce calledNodoka Daikansatsu."

That went off like a bomb. "My mother?"

"Is my niece; yes. I am your great-uncle."

Barry wished for a chair to sit down on, though he still didn't know whether this was good luck or bad. "I am sorry, Grand Master," he said finally. "But, for whatever reason, my mother has not spoken of you."

"Good answer. Much better than that ripples on water nonsense," the older man said coarsely. "Nodoka's son. You look like her, boy; thank kami." He moved a tea set from a shelf and wordlessly they performed a simple tea ceremony. Daikansatsu nodded at a particular movement Barry made. "Martial Arts Tea Ceremony," he said softly. After they sipped their tea, Daikansatsu continued their discussion. "Your mother's branch of the family split with mine over your mother's marriage. Genma had already gained a reputation as both a brilliant martial artist and an accomplished pervert. Happosai was a bad influence."

"He still is," Barry murmured.

"Still alive? Incredible!" Daikansatsu frowned, "You do not owe him mastery, do you?"

"No, Grand Master," Barry answered. "My father taught me and after him, Ku Lon of the Joketsuzoku; but Happosai has little or nothing to do with my skills and has never been my Master."

"And you're just as happy he is not?"

"You have no idea!" Barry shuddered, remembering, through Ranma, gropes from the little pervert.

"Ranma Saotome, I have heard some truly disturbing things about you. At first, I ascribed them as products of Happosai's influence on your father and through him, on you. Yet everything I feel says otherwise. You seem much more mature than your age would indicate. Can you explain to me this dichotomy?"

Barry was thoughtful for long moments. This was really Ranma's tale. Yet here was a man of great respect, who seemed honestly to want to know about a nephew. "My... mother. What is she to you?" he asked finally. "I do not mean to insult you and I would be proud to call you 'Uncle'. Are you willing to call my mother, 'Niece'?"

"I always have. I know about your ten-year training trip and your fiancée problem. I would have trouble deciding, considering what I saw in here a few minutes ago, aside from matters of honor." He sighed lustily. "I kept track of your mother during those years. She is a strong woman of great beauty. Genma was a fool to go off like that."

"There was a time when I would have agreed with you completely," Barry replied. "But even some of the stupidest things he taught me on that trip have ended up saving the lives of those I sought to protect. If I had not known them, we would not be having this conversation." He nodded. Tell the man now what he would find out eventually if Ranma, or God forbid, Barry, ended up at this university. "I'll tell you if honor allows."

The old martial artist looked pained. "You don't really cross-dress, do you?" he asked plaintively. "Your mother seemed a bit defensive."

"No. You know of the Joketsuzoku. Have you ever heard of Jusenkyo?" Barry asked.

"The waters of the springs are supposed to be a key ingredient for sorcerers to turn people into frogs and whatnot." Daikansatsu boggled, then composed himself. "You aren't serious!"

Barry explained Jusenkyo and demonstrated the curse. Sitting on the corner of Daikansatsu's desk, she did not speak of the ki techniques or the Nekoken. Unless dire circumstances occurred, they would easily remain secret. She explained how he had acquired all the fiancées, and made it quite clear that honor kept him from taking advantage of the situation.

Suddenly, Daikansatsu sat up straight in his chair and stared intently at Barry. "You're the girl who beat up Nikkoo Darikamosu!"

"Ah, yes, I was, if you mean the Nikki who was here."

"If this was instigated by Nabiki Tendo, I _am_ disappointed in you," he said sternly, all amiability gone like smoke. "I thought you said you defended the weak. He is no martial artist."

"No, but he sureacts_Yakuza_! Nabiki ain't a martial artist either, and he hurt her, _first_. I wanted him to understand that I don't approve," Barry snapped. "Those two can battle all they want financially, but itwill stay that way!" Barry stared flatly at the small man, who regarded him with hooded eyes. "Or else."

Finally, he sighed and nodded. "I was afraid it was something like that." He sighed again, looking out the window. "Nikki has a great weight on his shoulders — the heritage of his father. He seems to need to impress people, unfortunately."

"It sure took a long time to impress him with the idea that he shouldn't hurt Nabiki anymore," Barry grumbled, shifting uncomfortably.

"Yes, that is like him." Ranma's uncle drummed his fingers against the desktop. "Ranma, Nikki _is_ Yakuza, and stupid enough not to learn from his lesson, cunning enough to be a bad enemy. Tell Nabiki Tendo to be careful."

"Is there something you haven't told me?" Barry asked quietly. She sensed the turmoil Daikansatsu carried within, though her ki-vision was oddly out of focus with respect to this 'uncle'. She reached for the pot of tea to transform back to male.

"He is my sister's daughter's son," the old man said simply.

"He's my cousin?" Barry said, voice changing in mid-sentence. "Oh, shit!"

* * *

The others had long since completed their admission forms and were waiting impatiently in the lobby. Nikki, thankfully, was nowhere in sight. Before they left the building, Barry gave them a quick synopsis of the information pertaining to Nikki. He found them totally undisturbed by the confirmation of Nikki's connections and eager to go with Nabiki's plan. Nikki had apparently impressed them all.

Ukyo had been casing the campus with an eye to her business opportunities and had come to a decision. "Ranma," she said, finally. "I'm taking you up on the offer of financial help. I want a yatai, preferably motorized to help move it, with gas grills and room to serve at least six customers." Barry nodded. He had his own ideas and planned to surprise her. "I'm pretty sure we can make it fly," she continued, "and if it takes off, we can shift to a permanent site when we know our customer base better."

"Sounds good. Nabiki?" He turned to the middle Tendo.

"Already on top of it, Ranma," she said dryly. "The grounds-keeping department has an older garden tractor with a broken axle. My contact has agreed to sell cheap. You said you could fix the axle?"

Can a fish swim? Barry grinned and replied. Shampoo grinned, recognizing the beginnings of a word game Shampoo had introduced them to, to help them with English called 'Questions Only'.

Nabiki eyes flickered between them as Shampoo offered, Are we speaking of water, or on land?

Which one is wetter? he asked. (Whack!) "Ow!"

"Stop flirting with Shampoo!" growled Ukyo, pulling back her spatula.

"I'm not flirting," Barry growled, rubbing his head.

"Point!" Shampoo broke in smugly.

"That's not a valid point! I'm being attacked!" Barry complained. Aren't I, Akane?

Is that anything new? Akane quipped. Ukyo's jaw dropped.

"It's a learning game, Ukyo. You try to answer every question with a question. You can't wait all day to work out your answer, either."

Do you get it now? Shampoo said to Ukyo smugly.

Do I care? Ukyo hazarded a possible result.

"Yeah, like that!" Barry said smiling. "Anything-Goes linguistics!"

"You're all crazy," Ukyo complained as they set off down the avenue to the Maintenance Department.

"Listen to that motor purr!"

Shampoo glanced nervously at Ranma because of the cat-related phrase but the pigtailed martial artist was oblivious. He listened, revved the throttle a few times and adjusted the choke. The engine seemed to run smoothly and little smoke was evident. Apparently, it burned its fuel efficiently.

"This isn't under load, though." Barry noted that the engine was clean, but didn't have that clean-as-a-whistle look that usually indicated inconclusive repairs and leaky seals being hidden. He had the additional advantage of being able to see faults in the metal through the faculty of ki-vision.

The older model tractor sat on blocks and its front tires. The drive axle, in two pieces, with its large back wheels, rested a short distance away. Ryoga was checking for faults in the tires and tracing the electronics. Finally, he stood straight and nodded to Barry. It looked like a good deal. Barry nodded in turn to Nabiki.

Nabiki went to work. She inquired after the mower deck, noting its absence and asked for a price break because the tractor had been broken down for parts. She decried the scuffing on the left tires caused by the drivers tending always to mow in one direction, and suggested that perhaps the tires were inadequate. They weren't, but without ki-vision, who could tell? The steering was loose, the wiring old… Nabiki was master of her own Art, and it was enthralling to watch, because she won and left her opponent feeling she did him a favor. She got the price reduced from 30,000 yen to 12,000 yen, and the man was smiling as they hauled the tractor and a sturdy old garden cart away.

In the lot behind Maintenance, Barry and Ryoga examined the broken axle. It was jagged at the broken ends and one half had a bow in it. Barry passed the curved section to Ryoga and set about trimming the spur from the broken end of the other half with Nekoken. Ryoga eyed the curved section of steel, then clasped it in his hands and bent it slightly. He eyed it again and made further minor adjustments.

"What Ryoga's doin'," Barry began, "isn't simply re-bending the bar."

"No," agreed Ryoga. "Steel develops a memory when it's bent this way, so I'm going to use a variations of Ba... uh, Ranma's shield technique and my own Bakusai Tenketsu to realign the little bits and pieces."

"Why can't he do that?" asked Ukyo of Ryoga.

"He cuts the steel; I make it straight," Ryoga said with a shrug.

"We figured out the Bakusai Tenketsu pinpoints the places where a rock's resonant frequency will shake it apart, " Barry said, trimming a little more off the end of his bar. He reached down and picked up a caliper to measure the axle's cross-section. "Forty millimeters," he commented and Akane wrote down the information. "With the chemistry and physics books from the school library, Ryoga finally made it flexible enough to use on wood, steel, glass, plastics..."

"Hard plastics, not soft ones," Ryoga corrected.

"Anyway, if ya make something vibrate enough at the right speed, it gets soft, without losing its characteristics, and a magnetic field can realign the bits and pieces."

"And tell it to remember to stay straight," Ryoga finished. He held the glowing bar out on his open palms. If you looked closely, you could see it floated in the air above his hands.

"You do all this with the Breaking Point?" Shampoo asked, sliding over. "Aiya! Grandmother really want know about this one." She watched in awe. "If do all that, can use as weapon against living thing!"

Ryoga looked uncomfortable. "It wouldn't be very effective, Shampoo. The harder something is, the easier it is to manipulate its breaking point. Living things have such a low resonant frequency that you'd have to use a lot of power."

"Or a lot of time," broke in Barry. "Somehow, I don't think an opponent is gonna stand there while ya say 'Excuse me, this may take a while'!" Barry gathered up most of the flakes of steel he had just trimmed off. "I got some short scraps of steel tubing I'm gonna weld over the break to strengthen it."

"How are you going to do that?" Ukyo asked. "You don't have any welding equipment."

Barry paused held up one finger and concentrated. Beads of sweat began to form and roll off his face. He seemed to relax slightly then and smile. Beyond his finger, the air danced and rippled. "It's a modification of the Nekoken, and not an easy one," he said tightly. "No practical application to martial arts, really." He slowly moved his finger down toward one of the flakes of steel on the ground, which hissed and puddled suddenly. "Yowtch," Barry suddenly yelped and shook his finger.

"What happened now?" Ukyo exclaimed. Akane and Shampoo leaned forward, concern on their faces.

Barry looked pained and shamefaced. "I forgot heat rises, okay?" He showed some blisters forming along the upper edge of his finger. "I'll just have to shield or something."

Akane looked aggrieved and Ukyo rubbed her temples in a way that made Barry wonder if she was developing a migraine. Shampoo thought it was funny.

Ryoga smirked and tossed the bar back to Barry. "All straight..."

"Thanks, Ryo-_ga_! _Owie_!" Barry juggled the bar before laying it down on the ground. "That's hot, too!"

"Yeah," Ryoga commented. "If you'd read your chemistry, Ranma, you'd know that work like this, on a molecular scale, releases a significant amount of heat."

"I did read that," Barry retorted. "I just forgot it."

"Are you sure you want someone whose brain is going to mush, Shampoo?" Akane attempted a jibe at her rival.

"_Akane_," growled Barry.

"Shampoo not mind... if he stay stiff elsewhere."

"_Shampoo_!" Barry complained. (Whang!) Ukyo's spatula vibrated against the palm of his hand.

"Ukyo, you are not the 'thought police'. That's enough for today," he warned.

"Why spatula-girl so angry with airen?" Shampoo asked arms crossed. "She acting like pervert-girl lately."

"I'm not happy with him, okay?" growled Ukyo, wresting her spatula back.

Barry shook his head and turned back to fitting the pieces together.

Half an hour later, Ukyo drove the tractor, in low gear, to the market square near the university where Konatsu would buy supplies for the yatai. She was sweating and breathed a sigh of relief when Barry pointed to the key and told her she could shut it off.

"Relax, Ukyo. You leap tall buildings in a single bound, you shouldn't worry about a little tractor puttering along at five kilometers an hour."

"Baka! I leap tall buildings because I don't want to step on people's toes. If you can teach this tractor to use the rooftops..."

"Sheesh! You don't want much," Barry grinned. "That would be somethin' for a manga writer." He crouched and spread out his hands as if delineating a movie marquee. "I can see it now, 'The Magical Flying Yatai'! Coming soon to a theater near you!"

"Really, Saotome, could you be serious?" Kuno demanded. "I'm still trying to understand why I'm following you on this plebian expedition."

"Really, brother dear, must you be so tiring," Kodachi said slightingly.

"I can give ya two reasons, ronin," Barry said.

"I told you not to call me that," Tatewaki said, grasping his bokken firmly. After a moment he released it again. "In truth, your reasons must be the beautiful Akane and the pigtailed girl. Would that they were free of your ensorcellment."

"Well, that's one reason," Barry admitted. Amazing, Kuno got one right! "The other has to do with the competition."

"Indeed?" Kuno gave the 'hated Saotome' a long look. "I was puzzled why you attempted to intercede for me. Not that I needed it."

"He interceded for me as well, brother dear," Kodachi reminded him archly.

Tatewaki regarded her with distaste. "Somehow," drawled Kuno, "That does not surprise me."

"I have some wonderful new concoctions..."

"Kodachi, you promised," Barry warned.

"But this is my brother," Kodachi said, disingenuously.

As the two continued to snipe, Barry began to glower. In his experience, a brother and sister should have bonds that were only surpassed by parent-child and husband-wife relationships. His glower dissipated when he considered Kuchidashi Kuno's treatment of his children. They had no example. No wonder they acted like this. "Okay, hold it!" He broke between them, well aware that both might lash out at him. "Kodachi, you wanna have me and Ryoga train ya for the competition?"

"Yes."

"Don't drug, poison or annoy yer brother. As yer sensei, I want ya to discipline yerself and treat him with respect."

"Very well. If he treats me with respect."

"_Ha_!" snorted Tatewaki. "Why should I respect a woman who refuses treatment for her obvious lack of sanityand has poisoned me for years!"

"Me!" Barry jerked his thumb at his chest.

"You imagine you can force me?" the kendoist sneered. Then his eyes narrowed. "Or do you plan to exchange places with the pigtailed girl?" he asked. "You do, somehow, I know." He trembled with agitation. "To imagine her trials, bound to one such as thou!"

Barry almost let him have it. He unclenched his fists and smiled impudently at Kuno. "No, _me_. You'll need ta train ta be at your best for the competition. Howdja like ta take me on in kendo?"

Eyes snapped around focusing on them as Kuno's jaw threatened to hit the street. "Would you?" Kuno breathed.

"Tournament rules," Barry replied. "Give me your best shot."

"The gods are kind!" Tatewaki grabbed him and embraced him in joy. "Never had I thought you of all people would turn to a path of honor and meet your fate with such face!" Suddenly Barry, almost at the end of his patience, found himself pushed out to arm's length again, seeing tears pour down Kuno's face.

"In return, I want two things. Treat your sister with respect. And I want ya ta have a long, polite talk with Akane and the pigtailed girl concernin' that psychologist of yours."

"Agreed! I had planned to speak to them myself since Sasuke so obviously failed me."

"Kuno, Sasuke didn't fail you. The proposed plan failed you." Barry managed to break his hold on his shoulders. "I don't know whose idea it was, but it was a tremendous insult."

"No doubt a misunderstanding. When shall we meet?"

"How about every night this coming week? The gang practices at the Tendo dojo. It's as good a time and place as any."

"Done!"

Kuno's presence for the rest of the expedition was something of a trial. It was very disconcerting to have the tall, solemn martial artist skipping along, smiling and singing battle hymns.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" asked Akane quietly.

"Hey! You know kendo and the other basic forms — bojuitsu, kyudo, naginata..."

"Yes."

"Why do you think I don't know them?"

"But Ranma never... He knows all the counters, though."

"It's all there. A lot of the show-off stuff Ranma does is as much practice for the other forms, as it is exercise and practice in general. Genma taught him early to always be busy training in some form or another."

"I don't like this," Akane complained.

"Life is like that, tomboy, or we wouldn't be in the situation we're in."

Nabiki, speaking with Ukyo, turned and waved to get everyone's attention. "We're going to split up now. Everyone have fun shopping. Ranma and Ukyo are coming with me and…"

"You wait, Ranma! Not going without Shampoo."

"But..."

"Surely, I am welcome as well, Ranma-darling," Kodachi said snagging him by an arm.

"Listen," Ukyo snarled, biting her words off. "We're trying to buy stuff here."

"Your point is?" Kodachi drawled, looking down her nose at Ukyo.

Nabiki tried to get the point across. "Kuno-san, any merchant who sees you will double or triple their prices."

"Why would they do that?" Kodachi looked mystified.

(SPLOOSH!)

"Eeek!"

"Aiya!"

"My goddess has returned!" (BANG! Whap! Thud!)

"Akane, why did you do that?" Ukyo snapped. Akane grinned as Barry backed away from Kuno, who was rubbing his jaw.

"This is not a date with Ukyo, this is business," she said in small words. "I am not going. You do not need to go and may cause Ranma trouble if you do." She shifted her weight and, almost, took a ready stance. "As Ranma is a girl..."

"Aw, crap! Ya mean I gotta stay this way?"

"...there is no need to fear that Ukyo will pull him into an alley and have her way with him."

"_Akane_!" Ukyo and Barry bellowed in unison.

"Besides, you catch more bees with honey than with vinegar."

Nabiki, catching on, snickered. She elbowed Barry. "You can pick up some ice cream on the way, too."

"Where is Akane going, if not with Ranma?" Shampoo demanded suspiciously.

"I am going to help Akari keep track of Ryoga."

Kodachi sniffed. "I guess we're not wanted here, Shampoo." She tilted her head toward the Amazon. "Shall we shop?"

Tatewaki looked after Akane, then his pigtailed goddess. Accustomed to his indecision and lack of focus on this matter, both turned and pointed at him. "Go with your sister," Akane ordered.

"Practice being nice like, uh... Ranma said," Barry reminded the kendoist. "And try to stay out of trouble."

"As you wish, my loves," he said, bowing and hurrying off after the Black Rose and the Amazon.


	37. Great American Burger

**Guest Ki: Chapter 36**

_**The Great American Burger**_

As Barry, Ukyo and Nabiki moved through the market, three forms followed in the shadows.

"Ohohohoho," Kodachi chuckled. "Did you see the look on that grocer's face? Priceless!"

"He ready to kiss Ranma's feet," Shampoo added, with an uncomfortable shift. "Sometime it scary how too-too good Ranma is at being girl."

"Why should the pigtailed goddess not be the epitome of femininity?" Tatewaki Kuno asked.

"Because Ranma is boy," Shampoo said.

"Of course, Saotome is a boy," Kuno snapped. "What has that to do with her?"

"Don't mind Tachi, Shampoo," Kodachi sighed. "You wouldn't believe how many times they've tried to tell him."

"Don't call me 'Tachi', you know I hate that."

"You two fight, Shampoo go. Never see such people," Shampoo snorted. She gathered herself and leapt to a roof ridge. Kodachi followed swiftly. Tatewaki sprang up, managed to catch the low-hanging edge of the roof and followed, scrabbling onto the shingles. He had a brief altercation with the roof's owner who came out and caught him by the ankle.

"Get down from there, you young idiot!"

"Let go of my ankle, varlet! I must follow the directives of my loves."

"Let your heart fly away then. But keep off my roof," the merchant replied, trying for a better grip. Kuno finally kicked free and scrambled up, seeking his sister and the 'Chinese-takeout-girl' two roofs away. He gathered himself and surged forward.

The first leap was easy, a gap of only three meters. The second was a little bit of a problem. He had to leap to a higher roof ridge, then across to his goal. The first was a minor problem for someone in good physical condition, but a leap of five meters when wearing a hakama and shod in zori is a little chancy for the even best physical specimen.

"Woooof!

The two girls stopped their clandestine observation of a certain red-haired girl and looked around. "You hear something?" asked Shampoo. They shrugged and leaped to the next roof.

Hanging by his fingertips, Tatewaki considered his options. On one hand, it wasn't that far to drop; but on the other hand, being unable to follow his sister and her companion was embarrassing. 'I used to do this. No! Dr. Hashibara said, 'We are all defined by human limitations'. I simply over-reached myself. I, Tatewaki Kuno, over-reaching?'

"Hey, you need some help?" Someone below noticed him.

"Go away," Tatewaki replied tightly.

"Can I get you a ladder?"

"I am fine. Please do not disturb me. I am thinking."

Kuno originally admitted himself to the doctor's care when he began to suspect the vile sorcerer, Ranma Saotome, and the pigtailed goddess, Ranma Saotome, were in some incomprehensible way, the same person. The concept nearly sent him into hysterics. That he, Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder and premier guardian of the Nerima Ward, would pursue a... a perverted transsexual. He thought again of the red-haired beauty that plagued his dreams and quailed. It could not be! Surely such beauty could not lend itself to such... such... Dr. Hashibara told him again and again that it was impossible for a man to change into a woman — at least without major surgery — that magic in general was utterly impossible. Therefore what Saotome was doing must be some slight of hand, a magician's trick to confuse Tatewaki's mind. The pigtailed one was simply a poor confused spirit held in thrall by his despised rival. Dr. Hashibara also said the surging power he felt in combat was merely adrenaline. A pity he wasn't here, hanging beside Tatewaki.

"Kuno!" A voice from below caused him to twist and look over his shoulder. Below, Akane Tendo, the Hibiki boy and his paramour and that enormous pig of hers stared up at him in fascination.

"Akane," he gulped. This was really embarrassing. He kicked his feet, looking for purchase. There was none. "Heh-heh!"

"Stay there." Akane leapt, using a tall wall, a roof and then a ridge, before landing lightly on the roof and walking to where he hung. "Give me your hand," she said without much enthusiasm.

"Surely, Akane, you do not expect a delicate blossom of womanhood such as yourself to have the sheer strength necessary..."

Akane got tired of his long-winded statement, reached down, grabbed his shoulder and heaved. The tough material of his kataginu held, and he found himself facing the dark-haired girl on the roof's slanting tiles. Her face held the tight, irritated expression he was familiar with. One wrong move and he'd be flying home. Nerima wasn't that far by 'air-Akane'.

He dropped to one knee. "My thanks, sweet dark-haired savior. Long had I hung above the abyss..."

"Kuno," Akane said, dodging an attempt to take her hand, "I saw you only five minutes ago. Why aren't you with Kodachi and Shampoo?"

"Alas, my sister and I were just engaging in a spirited conversation, when the gaijin girl made some complaint and left. I attempted to follow but met with a mishap."

"Oh, Kuno!" She smacked her forehead with her hand. Moments later, Ryoga was beside them.

"What's the problem, Akane?" he asked. He looked down on Kuno and smirked.

"Oh, Kuno's being stupid again," said Akane. "I think he's forgotten how to use his ki."

Ryoga glanced at Akane, then back at Kuno. The kendoist drew himself up and couldn't help but feel rather ridiculous. "Right! Well, now that you've done your good deed, I guess we can head toward the library again."

"In a moment. Kuno, where are Shampoo and your sister?"

Tatewaki started to answer 'How should I know, I was just hanging around', when movement caught his eye. Five blocks away, two lithe forms crouched at the edge of a roof. "There!"

"Well, go join them!" (BAM!)

Kuno felt himself lofted and, tumbling, caught a glimpse of Akane just recovering from the kick she had delivered to the seat of his _hakama_. As he hurtled through the air, he considered. This really should not be possible. Therefore, he must be hallucinating. It was simple, really, when you looked at it the right way. (WHAM!)

"Aiya!"

"What you said," confirmed Kodachi.

They stared at the legs and torso of what appeared to be Kodachi's brother. Either his head had crashed through the roof or... The legs kicked a few times before finding purchase on the asphalt covering the flat roof. With a jerk, Tatewaki Kuno ceased to trouble the noisy lady in the bath below and gave his sister a sour look.

"There are times, dear sister, when Dr. Hashibara's reasonable limitations go too far."

"Indeed?" Kodachi considered him. "That must be the most intelligent thing you've said in weeks." She smiled brightly and turned back to Shampoo. "What is Ranma doing now?"

"Ranma acting like brainless bimbo," Shampoo sighed. Ranma was doing a beautiful rendition of Shampoo at her worst. "Make junk dealer all hot and bothered. Get good deal, though."

"From where comes that odd screeching that grates on the ear like a shrill and strident sea bird," Kodachi complained suddenly. "No matter! They depart, let us follow." Shampoo and Kodachi leapt together, leaving Tatewaki stranded on his rooftop. Shampoo, a bottle of hair soap that is, sailed through the hole and ricocheted off Kuno's skull.

"My return to sanity sits not well, perhaps I need a vacation of a different sort." Kuno gathered himself and leapt in the wake of sibling and associate.

* * *

"God, I hate this," muttered Barry. At Nabiki's insistence, she used the girl-type to distract their targets during negotiation. The deals she got were quite remarkable, but Barry was really beginning to wonder about the body Ranma had gained from Jusenkyo.

Her cramping was mild, now that the brunt of the period had passed. During that time, Ranma girl-type had redefined PMS; now, flirting came _too_ easy. She borrowed Shampoo's bimbo act for the occasions where she actually needed to say something. The men were thrilled.

"You do this better than Ranma, some ways, sugar," Ukyo said. She was subtly pleased at the discomfort Barry showed between performances.

"Gee, thanks." She glanced at Nabiki and shook her head. "How many more places do we have to do this?"

"You know what we need as well as I do, Barry," she replied.

"All right, how many more men do we have to impress?"

"Oh, is that what you were doing?" Nabiki asked innocently.

"All I'm doing is making eye contact and smiling," Barry protested.

"And sounding like you've got the mental capacity of a five-year old," snickered Ukyo.

"Hey!"

"It must be a guy thing, Ukyo," Nabiki said. "They want easy access and no commitment."

"_Hey_!" Barry started to get red-faced. "I am not..."

"Oh, hello, Mr. Yamanochi. I understand you're refurbishing your restaurant," Nabiki said smoothly. She smiled at Barry, who recovered and bounced girlishly with a blank, brainless smile on her face. Mr. Yamanochi's eyes bounced in time to certain anatomical features not far below the girl's head. "I was wondering if we could assist you by removing old equipment you wished to dispose of."

* * *

Akane landed next to Akari and shook her head. Baka Kuno! "I think the library is over there."

"Akane? Where's Ryoga?"

"What?" She whirled around. Ryoga was nowhere to be seen. "Oh, damn! He must have jumped down on the other side of the roof."

"Katsunishiki, up!" Akari commanded. Obediently, the huge pig sat down and reared his front up off the ground. As his head rose, Akari scrambled up his bulk and stood on his forehead gazing about frantically. "Oh, Akane! I can't see him anywhere," she cried. "_Ry-oooooo-ga_!" she called, her healthy lungs and farm-bred lack of inhibitions sending echoes from nearby buildings. She whirled, still searching the gathering crowd and the lower stalls and buildings nearby. Her skirt whirled as well, and Akane suddenly glared at several young men who were showing an open interest in what Akari wore under her skirts. Akari ignored them. Turning she called out again.

* * *

Barry twitched nervously as Mr. Yama-something edged over toward her. The longer she stayed in the girl body, especially under these circumstances, the twitchier she got. Being regarded as a sex object didn't sit well with her, and it wouldn't have mattered if Mr. Yama-whoever were as handsome as Fabio, rich as Rockefeller and smooth as Don Juan. No guy was gonna...

Suddenly she turned and cupped a hand to her ear. Faintly, she heard a girl calling in a manner she was familiar with from other locales. She grinned suddenly and ducked an attempt by Mr. Yama-whatever-his-name-was to put a hand on her shoulder. "I think I just heard my cue," she said.

"Cue?" Ukyo asked.

"Ry-o-ga!" Barry said, mimicking calling, using hands for a bullhorn. "Here!" Barry's wallet smacked into Nabiki's hand. She automatically checked the contents, eyebrows rising. "See ya later!" She was gone, a single leap carrying her to the top of a nearby roof and away. Three shadows broke apart as she passed, then followed.

* * *

Akane was terribly upset. She had, in her opinion, lost Ryoga. Focusing sharply, she sent out her ki-vision to search for his familiar aura. It wouldn't matter much which form he was in, she would be able to recognize him, if he was in range. He wasn't. Her range, she found, was severely limited by the crowds about them. The combined auras of the people surrounding them caused an almost foggy limitation to her skill. In the confusion of the market, normal vision had far greater range. It wasn't _fair_! She had this neat ki trick and it didn't do her any good at all. It didn't use light, could see in darkness and through buildings, yet she didn't have enough range to find one pesky, lost boy!

"Come on, Akane! Katsunishiki will track him down," Akari said, sliding down from her perch. "'Shiki! Leg up!" Her pig stood and cocked one leg to give Akane a stepping stool to his shoulders. Akari held out a hand.

Soon, both girls rode to the back of the building Ryoga and Akane had so briefly stood upon. Katsunishiki snuffled along, but found nothing at first. Akane sat, head down, thinking furiously. She had been trying for a method of long-range location ever since she learned the ki-vision. Barry encouraged her but had no idea himself how it might be accomplished. She had tried lens; she tried different methods of focus. She could now detect most of their enemies and all of her family and friends by ki. She had even worked out what Ranma's ki must be like from his personal belongings that Barry hadn't touched. That had made her work even harder. But she just couldn't see...

Wait a minute! Ki-vision wasn't vision. She thought furiously. Had she been limiting herself? Aura emanated from a source, each aura distinctly different. She thought of Ryoga's aura, warm, innocent in many ways, but with a nasty undertone of grief and depression. Hard brilliant centers that seemed to lose themselves, chaos...

Something pulsed against her aura like a drumbeat. "Turn here, Akari!"

"What? But why?"

"Just do it!" Akane focused on Ryoga and dared to hope.

* * *

"You see a really big pig around here?" Barry asked a young shopkeeper. Behind her, Shampoo, Kodachi and Tatewaki looked on. They joined Barry after she explained what happened.

"A pig?" The shopkeeper looked down at the open, smiling face before him and felt his mouth go dry. His eyes flickered to Shampoo, then Kodachi. He licked his lips then pointed to the left. "I saw a pig and two girls go by about fifteen minutes ago." He gulped as the wattage of the redhead's smile increased by a factor of twenty.

"Thanks," the redhead said perkily.

They all turned and departed, their tall escort with his bokken and hakama giving the young shopkeeper a warning glare. He came to the door anyway, but they were already gone. He wondered if they were new students at the university. He wondered if they'd be impressed by a Biology major. He sure hoped so.

"You see pig?" asked Shampoo when they temporarily lost the trail.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," muttered the Black Rose. "Shopkeeper, I'm looking for a tall boy with green eyes and a yellow and black bandanna. No, he's not my boyfriend. No, your son cannot be my boyfriend. The person I seek is being followed by two girls on a rather large pig. No, it is not a circus act. No, I will not buy that item for eighteen hundred yen! I saw the tag. Its proper price is five hundred, and it is vulgar besides! _Peon_!"

After gaining on them for several stops, the girls and pig had suddenly started moving in an almost straight line and at an increased rate of speed. "I'll go on ahead!" explained Barry, suiting action to words.

Kodachi started to follow but Shampoo stopped her. "You never keep up! Just follow! Ranma find us on way back."

"Can someone please tell me what's going on?" asked Kuno in an irritated manner.

"'Tis simplicity itself, dear brother. Ryoga Hibiki is lost again and the fair pigtailed girl is beside herself with worry. She runs to find him." Kodachi smiled as the concept percolated through Tatewaki's head.

"_Hibiki must die_!" Kuno surged ahead with a shout in Ranma's wake.

"What you do that for?" said Shampoo with an absolutely astonished look on her face.

"Things were getting boring. Besides, if Tatewaki is chasing Ryoga, he might spend less time attacking Ranma-darling. Ranma will be encouraged to avoid his female form and that means more time for us, doesn't it?"

Shampoo smiled slyly.

* * *

Akane jerked when a weight thumped on Katsunishiki's back and two hands used her waist to steady itself.

"_Hi-YA_!" Her elbow slashed back at where she felt her attacker's throat would be. It was blocked.

"Easy, tomboy." Barry grinned at her from within Ranma's girl-type. "You're trackin' pretty fast. Katsunishiki on the trail?"

"No, I think I figured out that long-range tracking technique I was working on," she replied. "Now will you please..."

"...shut up so you can concentrate? My lips are zipped!"

They rode on for several minutes, while Akane pointed to where she thought Ryoga was. Barry scanned with normal ki-vision. Away from the crowds at the marketplace, the potential range was much greater. Suddenly, Akane felt the form behind her stiffen.

"Good girl! I got him now. Keep following, using your new technique, just to be sure. I'm outa here!"

She felt the convulsion of muscle and ki, and Barry was gone.

* * *

Ryoga stood at the banks of the stream and contemplated his reflection. Around him, huge trees stood from the ground like pillars for the sky. He looked left and right and realized he was surrounded by water. "Of course. I did it again. Fifteen minutes ago, I was enjoying a shopping trip with my friends. Now I'm lost in this primordial forest." A single tear escaped to ripple the waters of the pool. "I don't deserve a relationship with anyone. How could any girl depend on me? What can I do to earn respect? I turn into a pig! I'm just a freak!"

Barry could feel Ryoga's ki building for a massive Shishi Houkudan. Considering that he was in the middle of one of Tokyo's famous natural parks, she didn't think this would be a very good idea. It was sure to draw attention, and the authorities would have to do something about it. She had to move fast. There was an expanse of water before her, a little too wide to jump across and no time to find a bridge. Glancing around desperately, she realized the enormous trees provided what she required. Bouncing between two trunks, she gained altitude quickly and leaped. Ryoga should be close. Very close, in fact! So close that this was gonna hurt when she smacked into his near-impervious hide instead of the soft, yielding ground. "_Ry-oooooo-ga_!"

"What girl would ever put up with a loser like me?" Ryoga demanded of the sky.

(WHUMP!)

Ryoga sat down hard, as the impact of something warm and soft, with interesting curves, suddenly occupied the space within the circle of his arms. Did the gods answer his prayer? He cradled the body so he could look into the girl's perfect face...

"Whoa! Oh, hi, Ryoga!"

"_Ahhhhhhhhhh_!"

Barry winced as she was deafened by the unexpected scream. After a moment of silence, she dared hope it would not be repeated. Opening the eye closest to the lost boy's face she peered into wild, staring, green eyes. "Ahhh, ha-ha! Is something wrong, Ryoga?"

"_Ahhhhhhhhhh_!"

Barry smoothed her bangs back into place and took stock of the situation. She was cradled in his arms and he had a pretty good grip. It might be that her proximity combined with his psychological state was causing Ryoga some problems. It was definitely causing her problems, as one of those good grips was her left breast. "Ryoga," she growled after the third, unsuccessful attempt to escape his clutches. "C'mon, man, get a... No, you've got a grip, dammit! Get a nosebleed and pass out already!"

Ryoga, lost in a hell uniquely his own where he walked down an aisle beside a happily giggling, girl-type Ranma, was unresponsive.

"Ryoga, this looks really bad; and if someone sees us, both our asses will be in a ringer. Nowlet go!" She tried to free her bosom, as this was the most painful — and most embarrassing — situation.

"I have _found_ thee!"

Chills did not begin to describe the feelings that raced up and down Barry's spine.

* * *

"We're really close now," Akane said.

"Oh, I hope Ryoga is all right!" Akari trembled with emotion.

"_Get away_, _ya moron_!"

The sight that met their eyes went beyond anything Akane had ever experienced with Ranma.

"Stop it! It's not what it looks like!"

"Demonic and lustful vermin! I shall smite thee for taking such liberties with the pigtailed goddess. Cease thy despicable pawing of her creamy flesh. Only I should—! I mean…I shall surely punish your transgressions!"

Barry bounded along desperately, running on her hands, her body securely held by Ryoga's clutching arms. The lost boy, inverted, a hopeless look on his face, had no more flexibility than a stone. Only Barry's desperate maneuvers with muscle and ki kept them both from being struck by the slashing blows unleashed by the enraged kendoist.

It couldn't last.

"Surely heaven itself shall aid in smiting thee, you perverted demon!" (Swish! swish! swish! WACK!) Kuno's bokken snapped as it met the solid shield Barry threw up in desperation. "Hah!"

The weirdly inverted pillar of masculine and feminine aspects slowly began to topple. "Uhhh..." Barry had forgotten how close they were to the water. "Oh, shi—! (SPLASH!) _Blurb_!"

"Squeeee?"

"Damn! I should have thought of that sooner," Barry muttered as she fished the struggling Ryoga and his clothes out of the water.

"_Hah_! I should have known," spouted the Blue Thunder. "The Hibiki fellow is like unto Saotome, except he exchanges himself, not with a beauteous maiden, but with a pork roast." He stood, proud and heroic, just beyond the water's edge. "I suppose food is more practical as often as this one gets lost," Kuno added.

Barry grabbed Kuno by the throat and hurled him into the water. "Go soak yer head, ya microcephalic meat-for-brains!" snarled Barry.

* * *

Barry looked over the stacked cart and nodded in satisfaction. They acquired everything he needed and now it was time to put it all together. At a restaurant being renovated, they found the gas grills. At the junk dealer Barry visited earlier, they obtained some old, but sound, aircraft tubing; light, strong, structural material to build the yatai frame from. Machine screws and electrical wiring were reasonably priced. From the university administration buildings, shingles and several nice western-style, hardwood doors being replaced finished off the collection.

"Here you go, Nabiki." He counted out a thick sheaf of bills.

"Huh?" Akane looked at Barry, then Nabiki. "What's that for?"

"Akane, I couldn't have found all this stuff so quickly without Nabiki's help."

"But, I thought..."

"And to be honest, she saved the Saotome clan a bundle."

"But, what about all the stuff she put you through?"

"You were the one that splashed me. Ya shouldn't give yer sister ideas –she's impressionable. She also went to a lot of trouble. I told her what my budget was and what I was looking for, and she found it all. The deal she made with Mom was she would get one-half of the difference between what I expected to pay and what I did pay," Barry said patiently.

"She put you through hell!"

"No, actually she didn't. Those things were beyond her control."

"Akane, the man set the deal, okay?" Nabiki said.

"But, but..."

"Actually, the one strange note here was you, Akane."

"M-me?" Akane sweated.

"Yeah! All that nonsense at the park, and ya didn't once make an assumption of guilt on my part." He grinned. "And ya gotta admit, it looked plenty bad!"

Ukyo glowered and her hand twitched. She heard only snippets of what happened as she listened to Akari chew out Ryoga with a vocabulary she had to respect. Akari wasn't the little milksop she appeared to be.

"I mean," Barry said, teasing Akane as she stood with a shocked expression on her face, "if yer not careful, I'm gonna think ya don't like me any more!" (POW!) Akane's fist shot him toward Ukyo. (WHANG!) Her spatula sent him toward Akari.

(GRAB!) "Hi-YA!"

(THUD!) "_Owie_!"

"Honestly, Ranma! You'd think a girl could trust you not steal her boyfriend! I'm very disappointed in you." Akari shook her finger at his nose. "This isn't even the first time!"

Barry looked up at the circle of three faces, for a moment thinking it was a result of his concussion. He realized the girls had circled him.

"Feel better, now?" asked Akane, sweetly.

"Y-yeah!" he gasped out.

* * *

After readjusting his limbs and spine, Barry sent them all off to lunch and told them not to return until dinnertime. He planned to accomplish a lot between now and then. Ryoga started to offer his help, then turned red and couldn't speak. He turned purple at Shampoo and Kodachi's chuckles, then white at Kuno's mutter.

"Ryoga, go with Akari, fer kami sake!" Barry said. "When I'm finished here, we can have a rousing, no-holds-barred fight and ya can try ta beat the crap outa me."

"Y-you can bet on it," Ryoga stammered.

"As for you two..." Barry looked pointedly at Shampoo and Kodachi. "I'm gonna have words with you later." They had the good grace to look uncomfortable.

As the gang moved off, they heard the 'ching!' of Nekoken cutting through the tubing, which would form the frame of the yatai.

It was a beautiful day. Akari had a death grip on Ryoga's arm. Ukyo divided her attention between her future yatai and Ryoga's pale face. Akane looked at the ground and refused to do more than mutter angrily when Tatewaki spoke to her. Kodachi and Shampoo hung back from the others a bit, so finally, the Blue Thunder was forced to talk to Nabiki Tendo.

"'Tis an odd gathering we have here, is it not, Nabiki?" She glanced at Tatewaki and waited for him to further define 'odd'. "It seems that allies and enemies alike have joined together for some purpose, yet the purpose escapes me."

'You got that right,' thought Nabiki.

"That should not surprise me, I suppose," Kuno mused. "It seems I have missed much during the past two years."

Nabiki's eyebrows rose in surprise. Kuno was admitting fault? "What in particular, Kuno?"

He scowled. "The alliance between Hibiki and Saotome for one. How could I miss the signs? The pigtailed goddess enslaved by one to be used in payment by the other. Surely Saotome's bottomless stomach could only be fueled by... Why are you laughing, Nabiki?"

"Ha, ha-ha! For a moment there," she gulped, "just for a moment, you sounded so reasonable. Then you restored my sense of the ridiculous, in spades. HA, ha-ha, ho-ho!"

"I'm so happy to be of service, Tendo," he said frostily. "Especially since your own sister is held in thrall by..."

"My sister is fine, thank you," Nabiki returned icily, cutting him off, "or would be, if other people weren't interfering!"

"Indeed! I agree," Kuno said nodding.

"Idiot," Nabiki snapped. "_You_ are one of the problems."

* * *

They returned to find a major transformation had occurred. The garden cart had been rebuilt with a long frame and extended floor, already covered by wood held down with screws. Four steel posts with broad feet, extended down to the ground from inside the frame, added additional support to the two wheels of the original cart. The roof was built and shingled. Sheet metal had been cut and shaped to form long folding counters attached with rivets and piano hinges. It was fairly obvious that counters and roof were designed to fold down and in, to enclose the yatai securely when not in use. From the bottom of the counters protruded oddly curved pipes, four to a side. Each of the pipes had a small square plate welded to the end with holes in each corner. One of the pipes had a circle of smoothly finished wood attached already. They were clearly brackets for seats.

Barry was lying on the floor of the structure, carefully soldering the connections to the lines that would carry gas to the grill. He finished his work, and brushed a mixture of soap and water around the connections before turning the gas on. After a long critical look, he seemed satisfied and sat up, finally noticing his audience. "Damn! Is it that late already?" He wiped his brow. "It didn't go as fast as I hoped, but it should be all finished tomorrow."

"_Oh, my god_!" Ukyo walked around her yatai. She tried to compare it with the yatai of her youth, but found her memories were confused. This looked smaller, but... She thought her father's yatai only served six at a time, and that standing... She finally stopped and stared at Barry questioningly.

He shrugged. "I made it a little larger and gave it some seats. I noticed that some of the nicer yatai down our way have them. The grill is set to the back. I didn't like havin' the propane tanks so close to the tractor engine. When I'm done, you'll be able to park the tractor, turn around on the seat and go right to work, never settin' a foot on the ground." He walked to the back and leaned over and twisted something, pulling upward. The back metal feet retracted. He did the same in the front, then hopped out and prepared to load the remaining materials into the aisle down the center of the yatai.

"Hey, Nabiki," he said, one hand on the steering wheel. "Where do I park it?"

"There's a service area next to my apartment, Ranma," she replied.

"How much?" he asked.

"Spoil sport," she complained. "Oh, how about..."

"How about you just write it off, Nabiki," suggested her little sister. She gave Nabiki a grim look. "Despite what Ranma said, if you hadn't invited Kuno here..." She jerked her thumb at Tatewaki, who sported a swollen face, a black eye and a sullen expression.

"Kami! What happened to you, Kuno?" Barry asked. He received no answer. "Akane?" he asked next. She shook her head. "Ryoga?" The lost-boy looked nervous but didn't answer. He looked at Ukyo, Shampoo and Kodachi, but they were gazing elsewhere. He turned his gaze to Nabiki.

"Oh, no! Not me!" the middle Tendo said, understanding the unvoiced question all too well.

"But that means..."

Akari did not feel at all guilty. "He was being obnoxious, Ranma. He kept insulting poor Ryoga and waving that stick of his around. But when he hit Katsunishiki with it..."

"It was not my intention to abuse your swine," Kuno said dryly.

"Well, you haven't exactly apologized, so neither will I!" She crossed her arms, looking every bit as stubborn and stiff-necked as Kuno.

Barry chuckled and shook his head. Akari was full of surprises. Maybe she wasn't such a bad choice for Ryoga. Oh, well… Suddenly he snapped his fingers. "Hey, Ucchan!" Ukyo jerked and almost came after him for the familiarity. "How 'bout we fire this puppy up and make some okonomiyaki?" He jerked his head at one of the coolers fitted beneath the counter. "Found a freshman I could bully into getting some supplies for me. Most everything is there, and I thought ya might wanna season the grill."

Ukyo looked as if she wanted to disagree with him. Finally, she shrugged and nodded. Barry opened the yatai for business in about five minutes. Then, while Ukyo began heating the grill and making sureBarry had bought the right oil for the job, Barry picked up a three meter piece of wood, six by twenty-five centimeters (2x10). Laying it across the seat supports, he soon had some makeshift benches and the gang crowded around.

Ukyo took her time. She would oil the grill evenly, slowly bring the grill up to temperature then cool it down and wipe it thoroughly to remove the used oil. This was repeatedthree times.Then, she began preparing the batter for her first batch on the new grill.

"Check out the pedal in the corner," Barry suggested. She stepped on it and watched a chopping block swing out from under the counter. It clicked into a locking mechanism as it came level. Barry pointed out the release button and admitted he salvaged it from the doors. She chopped her cabbage and minced her onions. She began smiling as she found it easy to pull out ingredients since Barry had duplicated the order of ingredient bins that she and Konatsu were familiar with from Ucchan's. And when she complained that she didn't have a selection of her special sauces, Barry pointed to a rack set into the roof on her left. "That's what that storage is for. My friend did the best he could at the store, but he can't buy your special sauces."

Cheap, prepackaged chopsticks were in a bin on one side of the cart and paper plates in another. Barry climbed aboard and opened the other cooler and pulled out bottled water. It was not long before Ukyo was humming as she sent excellent, if plain, okonomiyaki onto waiting plates.

Tatewaki bit into his and sighed. "I would apologize for my behavior in the mountains, Ukyo Kuonji," he said unhappily. "Had I been in better control of myself, I could have returned you to Nerima and spared you the anguish of further wandering."

Kodachi stared at her brother in disbelief. So did everyone else, for that matter. They waited for the other shoe to drop. Kuno could not be apologizing; he always found some way of excusing himself. The silence grew long.

"Ummm..." Ukyo shook herself and saved a 'yaki from burning. "I have to admit, it wasn't pleasant, Kuno. But I did it to myself. You might have got me back to Nerima, only to have me wander off again."

"I should have tried," he said finally. "Mine was a sin of omission perhaps, but a sin, none the less. Is there any service that I can perform in recompense?" He met her eyes levelly, apparently honest.

Ukyo sighed. "Kuno, I just can't bring myself to owe you something until I feel I can trust you."

"But it is I who owes you."

"These things don't work that way," Ukyo said, shaking her head. "Let's just say I forgive you, and leave it at that."

"Very well," Tatewaki sighed in turn, but did not drop his eyes. "There is, perhaps, something you could do for me?" Barry saw Ukyo stiffen and wondered what had happened up in the mountains.

"What?" she asked sharply. Kuno grimaced. Barry suddenly understood.

"He wants another 'yaki, Ucchan," Barry said in a stage whisper. Barry ducked away as she slung a throwing spat in his direction.

"With squid please," confirmed Tatewaki plaintively.

* * *

"Where were you, last night?" Nabiki growled as she walked out of her apartment the next morning. Next to the yatai, Katsunishiki twitched in his sleep. Ukyo had made him an enormous okonomiyaki to finish the batter and with the things he had scrounged from the market, he was content. Barry rubbed the back of his head and blinked at her for a few seconds. "Well?" she demanded.

"I was up on the roof, Nabiki." He stretched and yawned. "I don't sleep well anyway, and I talk in my sleep, in English mostly, when I do. I didn't want to give Kodachi or Shampoo any surprises."

"Oh?"

"Let's just say that, back home, we keep a stick by the door of the guest room, in case Akane needs to poke me out of particularly noisy dreams." He yawned again. "Was there a problem?"

"Kuno woke up, saw you weren't there and noticed Akane was missing. She was in the bathroom, but he didn't think of that. So, he started yelling that the three of you were off doing something improper."

"Huh?" The men had the living room and the girls were divided up between Nabiki's and Sakurida' rooms. "He didn't! And what did he mean 'the three'... Oh."

"What do you think?" Nabiki said in disgust. "Ranma, Akane and the pigtailed girl, of course. Good thing Sakurida is almost as good as Akane with her mallet." She chuckled slightly.

"How's your apartment?" Barry asked, dreading the answer.

"It's fine, thank you for asking," Nabiki shrugged. "I don't think Akane was completely awake when she came back. Kuno was lying there, face down on the floor, and she just walked over him."

"It's situations like this that help me understand why Ranma goes out of his way to rile that guy," Barry admitted, relieved that Nabiki's apartment hadn't been damaged.

"I just wanted to warn you that he might be a bit difficult first thing this morning."

"That's right. I can't let him wreck the yatai."

Nabiki looked back toward the building, then around the lot. "Barry, can you see if anyone is close enough to listen in on us?"

Barry yawned, closed his eyes and swept across their surroundings with ki-vision. He extended the range as far as he could go, looking in particular for power sources that might be connected to recorders or microphones. It took him some time and Nabiki began to get restless. Sensing this, when he finished, he began to softly snore as if he were asleep on his feet.

Nabiki immediately hit him. "Don't even!" she said, "I'm not in the mood."

"Okay. There are two devices near the rooftop, a bunch in your apartment, and three in the dumpster. The ones in the dumpster are dying batteries. Are the ones on the roof yours?"

"They should all be mine. Okay." She fixed him with a glare. "I want to know what your plans are for fixing all this."

"My plans?"

"How soon will you be trying again? What will you be doing differently? What's your backup plan, if you can't get Ranma back?" Nabiki's voice was flat and emotionless.

"You gotta be kidding, Nabiki. I don't know! When we get more information and it feels right, I'll try again. I certainly didn't do that 'astral projection' thing right last time! And how the hell do _you_ determine when we can't get Ranma back?" Nabiki had trouble meeting his hurt look. "So far as I'm concerned, as long as there's someone here who wants him back, then it's not time to give up."

"That could take years," she warned him.

"Then it'll take years."

"What about the Saotome legacy? What about Akane? Is she going to grow old and childless, waiting for something that never comes?"

Barry stared at her. He didn't seem to breathe. He might have been engraved in stone. Tatewaki chose that unfortunate moment to roar out of the building to rail at him.

"Saotome! Lie not, you perverse fiend! What horrid dalliance did you have with…"

(POW!)

Nabiki hadn't even seen the flinch that indicated muscle in motion. It was as if someone had spliced a new frame into the picture. Scene one — Ranma at rest, arms at side. Scene two — Ranma with one arm extended. Kuno's impact with the lot's surface didn't throw up much dust as the moisture was condensing out of the air as the sun rose. After a moment, Barry looked aside at the unconscious kendoist. With a sigh, he stooped and cradled Tatewaki's head, while he touched the young man with sensitive fingers at forehead and throat. Tatewaki's eyes suddenly snapped open.

"What? How did I get...?" He surged to his feet. "How dare..."

"Kuno, I apologize for striking you in anger, not self-defense."

Kuno stared at him. Saotome? Apologizing?

Nabiki boggled and laughed. "Oh, my stocks and bonds! Everybody is acting strange this weekend." They stared at her, scandalized by the interruption. "If this keeps up, Ryoga will lose his lack of direction and Ranma will finally decide to marry... the pigtailed girl, of course!"

"Over my dead body," growled Kuno. He started for Barry, only to find himself stopped by a foot. "I suppose," Kuno demanded around the leather, "you will apologize for this, too?"

"Nope! You were attackin' me this time."

"That makes sense." Kuno slumped back to the ground.

Barry looked over him at Nabiki and shook his head. "Don't ask me about tomorrow, Nabiki. I have enough trouble with today." He paused a moment more and added, "Hold that thought about Ryoga losing his lack of direction."

* * *

It was a long day. The yatai was structurally finished by lunchtime. The others crowded around and watched him work, using ki-techniques in place of almost every tool he might have used. They insisted he take a break and come to lunch with them. When he saw where they were going, he grimaced. "You deserve a break today," Barry hummed the commercial jingle. He knew, he just knew, they were trying to be nice, but it was his least favorite of the franchises. Not only that, but it was damned expensive!

He put up with it, but watched their faces to see if they really liked this stuff. They seemed to, but the comments were more about the style of cuisine, rather than how it tasted. After they finished and returned to the cart, Barry mentioned, off-hand, that for a real treat, they should try the Great American Hamburger. He watched their expressions.

"Oh, yeah," Ryoga said suddenly, "in America, they are different. Bigger for one thing and they serve them with cheese."

"That's only part of the secret," Barry said. "The amount of fat in the meat is the main one. Don't cook it rock hard; it needs to stay juicy. Using one of the fancy varieties of lettuce, fresh tomatoes, gourmet mustard, garnishes, if ya go in for that stuff, also makes a big difference. Topping it with bacon is good too." There were visceral rumbles from Shampoo, Akane and, surprisingly, Nabiki. Ryoga had been turned off by the bacon comment. "What! You guys still hungry?"

They all looked embarrassed. Tatewaki shrugged disdainfully. "As if I would ever eat food prepared by that cretin."

"Would ya eat if the pigtailed girl made it?"

"Of course!"

Okay, tell ya what." Barry rummaged around the cart and found a small pad and a pencil. He wrote furiously, ripped the sheet free and handed it to Nabiki. Then he pulled out the sheaf of bills he still had. "Take this, and if you other guys are willin' ta pitch in, see if ya can find all these. Nabiki, get what Americans call chuck roast, fresh, and have them grind it while ya wait. How many do we have?" He counted heads. "Does Sakurida want in on this, ya think; and what about Nagasameru and Shinzoo? Or did they already go home?"

Nabiki pulled out a cell phone. "I'll check."

In the end, they had twelve interested human digestive systems. Barry suggested about half a pound of meat per, which shocked the frugal Japanese. Animal protein was not usually consumed in such quantity. He shooed them off, planning to have fun himself. Taking some water to turn girl, she retrieved three manga previously purchased when male, took the pad and pencil and got to work.

Late in the afternoon, the Nerima Martial Arts Federation — as they decided to name it — with their associate members from other neighborhoods, strolled back to where Barry, still in girl-type, worked her own personal art form. They grew quiet as they approached noticing that something was different. Shinzoo and Ryoga lugged the cooler between them.

The center panels of the large wooden office doors were set between latticework and gave the appearance of pictures in frames, which, in a sense they now were. Each panel was deeply carved in a stylized fashion that blended line and form, and held one dominant figure. It was vaguely manga-like and depicted...

"Ukyo, is that you, there?" whispered Akane pointing. The end panel depicted a smiling young woman in an okonomiyaki uniform, crouching with a huge spatula. Despite the boyish garb, her femininity was apparent in every line and shadow. Ukyo blushed. The bindings she wore suddenly felt constraining. Along the side panels, Ukyo featured in scenes of various adventures shared with Ranma and some or all of the fiancées. Ukyo blushed deeper. She hadn't remembered the gown on Toma's island to be quite so... _revealing_. Nabiki was foremost there, smiling conspiratorially from the scene.

Beside her, Nabiki snorted. "I guess if there was any question of what he thought of the opposite sex..."

Akane blushed as well. She hoped, no _prayed_, that the other side of the cart would not include anything from the Ramen Noodle Wrestling. However, all the scenes seemed oriented to adventures shared with the okonomiyaki chef.

Shampoo traced the line of a depiction of herself and shivered. The wood felt smooth as silk and had no burn marks sometimes left by tools. The image did not capture her exactly, but rather transformed her into a cartoon reminiscent of... "Aiya! Is carved like animé! Shampoo look like sailor-sensei, but more curve!"

A red head popped up from the other side of the yatai. "Hi, guys!"

"Pigtailed one," exclaimed Kuno. "Well met! But where is the demon Saotome? If he harmed thee last night..."

"Get real," Barry said crossly. "Did it ever occur ta ya that, with the same family name, we might be related?"

Kuno blinked. If the idea had ever crossed his mind, he had forgotten it. "What degree of relationship?"

"Same mother… same father…" Barry said cautiously. Maybe they could approach this in a more circular manner, since the direct approach was useless.

"Uh, Ranma," Ukyo choked out as Kuno went into mind-lock. "What is all this?" She waved her arms at the cart.

Barry looked mournful. "I just wanted it to be special for you, Ukyo. I just… _felt _like it! I wanted you to attract the college crowd, too. Students go for manga, so..."

"You did these yourself?" Kodachi asked, finding herself in a gathering at the Cave of Lost Love. "I never knew you were so multi-talented."

Barry choked. She had been so focused on this surprise for Ukyo she completely forgot that part of her audience was potentially hostile. "I, ah... hired an artist. I had the photograph when we were all at the beach and I described some scenes to him. After that, it was just me and Nekoken."

"Is very good," said Shampoo. "How you pay for this, Ranma?"

Barry big-sweated. Was Shampoo wondering if Ranma had... _ack_! "Shampoo, what do you think I am?"

"Shampoo know Ranma pose for pictures for mercenary-girl, maybe pose as artist model?"

Oh, was that all. "Shampoo, when would I have time to do that?" She flinched as Kuno suddenly knelt at her feet and grabbed one hand.

"Tell me! Tell me the name of the so-fortunate artist, that I may patronize his works!"

"And hopefully get a few good ones of me, I suppose?" Barry smirked. "Look for a gaijin named Barry Barlowe, Kuno. He might be able to help ya out, I suppose. Ya better get on it soon, though. He mentioned his stay in Japan was gonna be short."

Kuno rose and suddenly drew a cell phone from an inner pocket of his kataginu and punched in a number. "Sasuke, take down this information..."

Barry shook her head and turned away. Sitting before the last panel, she cut into wood a memory of the time Konatsu joined Ucchan. Konatsu's gentle, smiling face shone in honest pleasure for the viewer.

Shampoo was not satisfied however. "Ranma... What artist get for all this? This lot of work for money you have left."

"Well, he took his preliminary sketches with him. Maybe he just wanted pictures of some pretty girls?" Barry said, as if thinking. "Guys are like that."

"Duh-uh!" Akane said. The look she gave Barry was significant. "Do you include yourself in that, Ranma?"

"Akane, I won't touch that." She moved swiftly to finish the panel. Tatewaki was still discussing methods of finding 'Barry Barlowe, probably a foreign-exchange student' and she wanted to be done before he was.

"Well!" Ukyo huffed as she circled the yatai for the fourth or fifth time. "I'll certainly have the most distinctive yatai in the city!" She ran her hands over the circular seats that now graced the posts. Each was colored in a yin-yang symbol. "Why...?"

"Let's face it, Ukyo. You and I are both just a little bit confused," Barry said, after rising to her feet and stretching to get the kinks out. "You were raised as a boy, and I turn into a girl. Even without takin' Konatsu into consideration, I thought it was... appropriate." She looked at the cooler. "All right! Ya get everything?"

"I think so," Nabiki said. "Are you ready to cook?"

"Let's do it."

Soon the aromas of sizzling beef and bacon began to waft across the lot. Akane, Ukyo, Shampoo and Nagasameru watched with clinical interest. Barry felt she was teaching them something new and was just a little bit nervous. She'd hate to think of what Akane might do to hamburgers. Yes, she was better; yes, she was trying. But she wasn't consistent enough yet to waste good, expensive beef. Nagasameru, as the local beef expert, nodded. "You certainly know how to trap in the juices and you've got the right amount of heat on." She indicated the lids Ranma had manufactured to keep the steam of the cooking burgers contained.

"Thanks. Why does everybody here overcook beef, anyway?"

"We're used to cooking chicken, and you have to cook chicken thoroughly or it's dangerous and generally unpleasant."

"We eat fish raw."

"Fish is fish and fowl is fowl, Ranma. And before you say beef is beef, remember that every other animal we eat needs to be thoroughly cooked — pork, rabbit, mutton. Only beef is better undercooked, and even then you have to be careful. Because if someone gets sick, beef will get blamed if it's not burnt to a cinder."

"There speaks the entrepreneur," Barry said. "I gather ya put yer two-yen in about the beef?"

"Of course. I've made hamburgers, but watching you is educational. I'm always open to new ideas in cuisine concerning my specialty."

Barry lifted a cover, quickly tested and flipped two quarter-pound burgers before replacing it. She shifted the bacon slices around, flipping them over as they curled. The bacon was more like what Barry knew as Canadian bacon. Ryoga stayed upwind of the grill, though Barry could tell the sizzle had his attention. She checked the burgers again.

Order up! Barry called raucously in English. She felt safe in doing so; the new book for English was a detective novel that included a scene in a roadhouse restaurant. "Yo, Ryoga! What's yer pleasure?"

Ryoga twitched but approached. "My what?"

"Moron," Barry shrugged, getting another twitch out of the lost boy. "What toppings?"

"Ah… catsup, mustard, lettuce, onions and pickles, please."

Barry spiraled the catsup and mustard, laid down several rings of sliced onion, then crisp leaves of lettuce and placed the pickles on that, before closing the bun. "Who's next?"

"Is this place open for business?" Barry flinched at the voice behind her. She turned, and blushed at the appreciative whistle she got from one of three young men who stood there. "Are those _real _burgers?"

"_God_! I haven't had a good burger since I left the States," said another. "How much?"

"Look," said the third. "Bacon! And _American_ ketchup."

Barry found herself in the peculiar position of reacting to what she first thought was carnal interest in Ranma's girl-type, now facing the reality that these fellows were far more interested in what was on the grill. "Uh, umm... This is sorta a private party," she muttered, disconcerted.

"I'll handle this," said Nabiki, smartly. She stepped between the yatai and the men. "It is possible," she began, "that we might have a little extra. How much would you be willing to pay for an honest-to-goodness Great American Hamburger?"

"I... I'm speechless!" Nagasameru said an hour later.

All the hamburgers were gone. An auction had been held, with Nabiki as auctioneer, involving forty university students. She had auctioned whole burgers, then half and quarter burgers, to individuals who paid up to three thousand yen for one quarter of a quarter-pound burger. She flipped through the cash as the crowd moved away and smiled. Eighty-seven thousand yen... Not bad! She handed the cash to Barry. He looked at the sheaf of bills, then back at her. "Damned impressive! How do you do it?"

"Thank you. It's much the same as your martial arts, I guess. Look for opportunities to exploit, take advantage of an opponent's withdrawal, maintain contact, challenge but don't overextend..."

"If I ever try to challenge you at financial martial arts, have Akane smack me a couple of times with her mallet."

Barry counted out ten percent and handed it back to Nabiki, then divided what was left between the people Nabiki talked out of their second burger. Nine people, including Nabiki, smiled as they received eighty-seven hundred yen each. Kuno shrugged. He had eaten both of his burgers, delighting in the pigtailed girl's knowledge of authentic American cuisine.

"Well, I guess we just need to get Konatsu up here, now," said Ukyo almost sadly, running her hand over the wood of the cart.

"Don't worry, Ukyo, I'll stick around and make sure he's up to speed with the yatai," Barry began.

"Oh, no, you don't," Ukyo scolded. "This is _my_ yatai! As his employer, _I'm_ going to show him what to do." She hesitated. "Do you think Nodoka could take the lunch rush at Ucchan's?"

"If yer that set on it, I'll take tomorrow off and make sure Momma is up to speed at Ucchan's. Hmmm… Maybe I can get Pops to wait tables."

"Only if Nodoka can keep him out of my stock," Ukyo warned, alarmed.

Barry grinned evilly. "Ka-sching-ng!" She pantomimed the drawing of a katana.

"Oh. Yeah."

"Pigtailed girl!" Kuno slid over. "If I understand correctly, the weekend activities are at an end. Therefore, would you permit me to offer you and Akane Tendo transportation back to Nerima?" Tatewaki smiled suavely. "Sasuke would drive, of course." His arm swung toward the waiting stretch-limo. Sasuke stood beside it, clad in his familiar ninja gear. He smiled and waved nervously.

Barry considered the wisdom of being trapped with Kuno in such a vehicle then grinned. "Great! Thanks! C'mon, everybody; Kuno's giving us a ride! You too, Nagasameru, Shinzoo; it'll save ya part of the trip." People began to crowd in.

"I'll sit up front with Sasuke," Kodachi called. The little ninja looked at his mistress and sweated. "Don't worry, Sasuke," she said smoothly. "I just wanted to talk to you a bit."

"Excuse me," shouted Tatewaki. "I wasn't inviting... Oh, hell! Proceed. You will anyway."

"Ryoga? Akari?" Barry looked at those two and Katsunishiki.

"We'll be walking back, Ranma," Ryoga said. "Akari has to be back at the farm Monday. She'll drop me off. Could you or Akane..."

"Akane, Ryoga will need a guide Monday morning."

"Okay," Akane yelled from inside the limo.

"Sayonara, Akari! Come back up as soon as you can."

Nabiki and her roommate, Sakurida, peered into the crowded car.

"Say hello to Baradandya for me," called Sakurida, "and Keiichi, too, if you see him."

"We will," said Akane. "Nabiki, be careful!"

"Oh, I'll stay nice and low-key... at least until after the competition."

"See you in a couple of weeks."

Sasuke, shivering as Kodachi coiled comfortably next to him, drove off. From within the vehicle came a plaintive voice. "Why do I have to sit between this man mountain and the door?"

"Relax, Kuno," came a feminine reply, "It's only till we get to Nerima."


	38. Chapter 38

**Guest Ki: Chapter 37**

_**Associations**_

_**Journal: Ranma's Guest - Sunday, 22 September 1991 - Day 29**_

_We continue to study the matriarchal societies known as the _Jomon_. The more I read of this group, the more I get suspicious of another matriarchal society known as the _Joketsuzoku_. Here are key points in my study. The _Wa_ was an intermixed group of Mongoloid immigrants and a much older society listed in some texts as the _Jomoken _whom authorities believe worshipped the cave bear. It is possible that, today, this early culture is represented by the _Ainu_ who dwell on the northern island. The _Ainu_ are very Caucasian in appearance and are the reason why some Japanese have red or brown hair, instead of the more typical black hair, and light colored eyes. Descended from the _Ainu_ are the famous pearl divers known as the _Ama.

_We frequently call Shampoo 'Amazon'. What you may not realize is that the Amazons were an historical group, controlling at least four communities around the shores of the Black Sea, probably with extensive use of those seafront areas. The Greeks claimed that the Amazons cut off a breast to allow greater ease in drawing a bow. Apparently, archery played a major role in their fighting style. But the Amazons were not Greek. I think this is a case where a foreign word is translated into what sounds familiar. In place of Ama-zon, say instead _Ama-jin_ or even _Eme-jin. _Horse-people… Some of the best warriors of that time were experimenting with cavalry, why not them? The Amazons disappeared into history, intermarrying a group known as the Scythians. The Scythians, in turn, were mounted warriors like the Huns and Mongols, and have been tracked by their burial sites eastward as far as India. These graves are often occupied by woman warriors wearing armor very similar to early Japanese armor. Needless to say, the _Bayan Hara_ range where the _Joketsuzoku_ dwell is on one of the routes the Amazons and Scythians might have taken east. _

_The Amazons worshipped a goddess whom the Greeks _- _who were great borrowers, by the way _-_ named _Artemis_. Though Roman mythology links her to the moon, she was more creditably listed as a sky-goddess associated with archery. That's the 'moon-link' by the way _-_ the crescent moon is supposed to be her bow. Here's the stretch… Does this sound anything like another sky-goddess, depicted using bow and arrows, called _Amaterasu?_ There's that _Ama_ again! Since words tend to contract over time, it might mean the original name was _Amateramasu_. Say it fast _-Artemis_. Another interesting point: _Artemis_' totem animal is the bear._

_I may be crazy, but I think that the origins of the Japanese ruling family, at least, may actually be found in the so-called Greek Amazons. It might also explain why Japanese is so different from other Asian languages. If I can prove the connection, I'm going to see if I can demand recognition as a lost Amazon colony, which would negate the business _-_ I hope _-_ of you being an outsider. I already found that being beaten by an _insider_ is meaningless. Besides, this fulfills the homework assigned by Mrs. Morisato..._

_

* * *

_  
School... scrolls... study... spar... sleep...

School... scrolls... study... spar... sleep...

School... scrolls... study... spar... sleep...

Ranma's life was not often enjoyable from the inside. School was spent studying material Barry covered years before, as well as cultural information lacking in both his own and Ranma's memories. The scrolls detailed a world foreign to Barry's experience, one filled with beings that possessed the innate power to change their environment, and experiences that just shouldn't involve a middle-aged horse trainer. Yet, with his ability in ki-vision, he was the resident expert and had no choice if he ever wanted to see his wife and son again. With those who were 'in the know' about him, he was a study resource for school and a teacher of ki techniques. In sparring...

Tuesday night, Shampoo talked him into sparring with her. He managed to ride out Ranma's reflexes once again, yet still win, but had taken bruising punishment, since lately Shampoo was holding nothing back. He suspected that this was due to Akane's open declaration that she loved Ranma. Shampoo felt she had little to lose, and perhaps wondered if Ranma had a little bit of an abusive streak in him. He had to admit that Shampoo was no rougher on him than Akane, but the combined punishment was sapping his reserves.

Today, Barry staggered along beside Akane, Shampoo, Ryoga, Ukyo and Kodachi. It was a Wednesday, which meant that the gang involved, they would all eventually drift along to Ucchan's to kibitz until close and Ranma was free to go to the dojo. He felt numb. The only benefit was that, with working at Ucchan's, Akane hadn't cooked for him lately. Though she was remarkably better, overall, the continued strain of Ranma's absence was making her short-tempered and impatient, bad things for her cooking.

School was... predictable. At least; predictable for Furinkan. Most of it was fairly straightforward, except the elective Hawaiian culture class. The Japanese pushed math far harder than American schools, and they were much more serious about their cultural heritage.

There had been a furor in Mrs. Morisato's class this morning, when Barry presented his paper suggesting that Shampoo's Joketsuzoku and the Japanese were actually related cultures. He went into considerable detail, using what was known of the Jomon and the Chinese Amazons. He also suggested that the latter group was related to the Greek Amazons. Shampoo remained silent throughout most of the argument. Kogara was outraged. Almost as much as Kuno, he was very conservative in his cultural views; he simply didn't delude himself that the Tokugawa Shogunate was still in power. For many of the Japanese, Shampoo was respected as a physical threat, but dismissed as a real person; she was gaijin. The idea that 'the bimbo girl', suitable only for stimulating a man's libido, might actually represent a root culture of his own... He loudly denounced Barry's research and questioned his motives. The discussion degenerated into a shouting match, with Barry, and surprisingly, Shampoo, stuck in the middle.

Before Mrs. Morisato could react to the noise, Miss Hinako barged in. She nailed them all with her ki-draining technique and admonished them for causing Mrs. Morisato so much trouble. Adult Miss Hinako gave them all a stern look before apologizing to Mrs. Morisato and departing.

Enervated, Barry openly admitted his motives, but claimed to have developed them only after finding the evidence. Kogara's reply was a study of unintelligible grunts and moans, as he had been closer to the door when trouble started.

Mrs. Morisato listened to the muttering to which the verbal brawl had been reduced. Finally, she asked Shampoo what were her thoughts on the matter. The purple-haired girl stood shakily, smiled and rattled off what sounded like a rehearsed statement; essentially, if politely, saying it was none of their damn business, before collapsing across Barry's back. Akane shot him a dark look, while Ukyo strove to turn and see what had Akane growling despite the ki-draining.

"How dare you take advantage of the situation, cat-girl," Kodachi chided Shampoo.

"Jeez, Shampoo," Barry grumbled. "I don't mind ya shootin' me down, but I didn't think jumpin' me was allowed."

"Too bad!" the purple-tressed girl murmured and weakly kissed the back of his ear.

Mrs. Morisato had to help her back to her seat over her protests.

"Why are you so secretive?" asked Akane after school, referring to Shampoo's political non-answer about Barry's paper.

"Think about it, Tendo," Kodachi said, tossing her ponytail. "Would you be willing to drop important information where rivals and enemies could take advantage of it?" A hand lifted thoughtfully to her lips and she murmured, "Oh, my! Perhaps that _was_ what Ranma was doing, wasn't it?"

"True enough," Ukyo said thoughtfully, missing her observation. "If the baka here made a solid connection between the Amazons and the Japanese and anyone heard about it, it might make the PRC suspicious and hostile to the Amazons." She nodded to the Amazon. "I don't care how good they are. A couple of small villages can't beat a modern military force the size of China's. And if they somehow could, there are always nukes..."

"They're a pretty grumpy bunch, lately," admitted Barry thoughtfully. "The Chinese people are nice enough, but the officials are always looking for some reason to push ya around." He sighed, leafing through Ranma's memories of China and added. "Sorry, Shampoo. I opened my mouth thinking I was being pretty smart." Shampoo declined to answer and they walked on in silence for a block. "The only good thing about PRC government officials is that they're usually pretty stupid," Barry added as an after-thought.

"Why do you say that, Ranma-darling?" Kodachi inquired.

"Well, take that Workers' Party uniform of mine. Do ya know how I got it?" There was a chorus of no's. "When Shampoo, here, was chasin' me outa China, we ended up in Beijing and I saw her two blocks down, in one of those big public squares they have. They were holdin' some kind of rally, and passin' out uniforms to whoever didn't have 'em."

Shampoo smacked a hand against her forehead, clearly recalling the moment and looking embarrassed. "No, no!"

Barry grinned. "Anyway, this guy comes along, looks at me and panda-baka - we had just been splashed again - and I knew the Amazon was close. He shoves a suit at me and a suit at Pops, doesn't even notice I'm foreign or Pops is a panda, and points at the crowd of people that are linin' up. The rest was simply applyin' one of the Saotome secret techniques."

"Which one?" asked Akane.

"Saotome technique of hiding in plain sight," Barry chuckled. "Just a simple matter of protective coloration. Heh!"

Shampoo looked up and frowned at him. "Has airen been looking at pervert-boys' (Hiroshi and Daisuke) _National Geographic_?" The girls stared at him.

Barry stumbled and coughed. He hadn't been; but how to reassure anyone of that might be a problem. Oh, yeah! "Why should I?" he asked smugly. "If I want to see femininity, all I gotta do is..."

(POW!) "Look in a mirror. I know, I know," Akane muttered, letting her mallet drop, even as Ukyo slung her spatula back into its clips. Akane and Ukyo both glared after the aerially departing martial artist.

"Aiya! Why you do that for?" Shampoo exclaimed.

Kodachi looked at them archly, then laughed.

Shampoo gaped a bit, then frowned and nodded. "Never mind, Ranma have that coming. So sorry."

"You two could go into business as a special courier service, you know," suggested Kodachi.

"Ah?" Akane inquired brightly.

"Certainly! You could launch your messengers to any location in Tokyo. Of course, you'd use up a lot of messengers that way."

Akane and Ukyo looked at one another, then scowled at the other girl.

Shampoo giggled. "No can do, Kodachi! Only airen, pig-boy, and stick-boy survive it." She giggled again and started to trot off after the departed martial artist. "I find Ranma and take to Nekohanten. Great-grandmother have new scroll for him to study."

"Tell that baka I need him for dinner-rush, Sham-chan," Ukyo bellowed after the departing Amazon.

"Yes, will do!" Shampoo sprang to a rooftop and vanished.

A few streets away, she found the object of her search strolling in the direction of the Nekohanten. She dropped beside him as he waved negligently. "Ranma, you never grow out of foot-in-mouth condition."

"What was I supposed to do?" he grumbled. "Let them beat on me because they've decided I'm a pervert?"

"Airen pick his poison," Shampoo replied with a sniff.

They walked along the canal and Barry leaped up to walk the fence. Shampoo shrugged and joined him, picking her way along in a curiously dainty fashion. She watched his back for a while but, when he didn't glance back or say anything, grew impatient for some kind of attention. Besides, she had some questions she wanted answers to. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Airen," she said quietly, "Akane act funny, say she love you, but no act it."

"Act _like_ it," he corrected automatically. "We all got our problems, Shampoo. Most of us wear masks to protect who we really are. Akane's mask is a violent maniac who hates boys." He didn't stop there. "Ukyo's was the mask of the 'bishonen man', and then the 'cute fiancée'. Hers is changin' again, though. Kodachi's mask was the 'over-bred socialite', but lately it's been changin', too. Yours was the mask of the 'over-sexed bimbo'." She felt his glance and flinched, also felt the smile and was soothed. "Lately, I'd say it's become the mask of the 'competent woman', a variant of what Nabiki has used in the past."

Shampoo objected. "I thought mercenary-girl use mask of 'up-and-coming yakuza'?"

Barry snickered and almost slipped off the fence. "Yeah? Well, that too. But to get back to Akane; I sometimes wonder if something happened before I came, maybe years before I came, that poisoned her against 'boys'. She trusts men, if they're mature and familiar, but boys, even ones she's known for a while, no. It didn't help when the feeble-minded fool of Furinkan High, Kuno, decided to sic the guys in the school on her. She says it didn't happen all at once, but you can imagine what it must have been like."

"So?" Shampoo shrugged and, as he hopped a section of fence that had a loose top-rail, followed with a graceful hop of her own. "Shampoo deal with boys. It not so bad."

"You never had more than two-dozen, Shampoo, and you faced them as a much more competent warrior to begin with," Barry said shaking his head. "When I came, Akane was mobbed by as many as forty opponents every morning. Her biggest advantage was that they never trained to fight as a group. But, I get the feelin' it pushed her closer to her limits than she'd like to admit. It only made it that much harder to deal with when I showed up, engaged to her against her will, and she couldn't even lay a finger on me."

Shampoo shuddered. "Can sympathize," Shampoo said sadly. Barry almost slipped off the fence again. The Shampoo he met when he arrived could not have cared less about her rival. He pointed to the ground and back-flipped off, enjoying the flow and balance of Ranma's reflexes. Shampoo joined him and they continued on their way, side by side. "Ranma?"

"What, Shampoo?"

"What mask you wear?" she asked seriously, touching his shoulder again. Barry wished she wouldn't do that. It was a reaching out, a request for comfort and understanding that was far more alluring than her former, childish bimbo routine. Barry bit his lip and tried to decide what he would tell her.

(SPLOOSH!)

Onna-Ranma and Sham-neko, who hung by her claws from the redhead's shoulders, stared at the figure standing before them, a bucket in hand.

"Huh! huh! haw!" Pantyhose Taro relaxed back and regarded the two. "Probably the mask of the girlie-boy, pretty kitty," he guffawed. "I need to talk to you, kettle-!" he began to add, but Barry had glanced at the weight hanging from her shoulders and decided it was time to react to a cat.

"_Ahhhhhhhhhh_! _Cat_!" (ZOOOM!)

The older martial artist groaned and picked himself up from the sidewalk he had been trampled into by a runaway redhead. He took note of the footprints that marked his scaled vest and felt the caked dust of the print that decorated his face. "Hey!" he sputtered indignantly.

Barry fled up toward the Nekohanten. With any luck, Cologne would be there and brain her with her staff before she hurt Shampoo by accident. Poor Shampoo! Chasing a boy who fled in terror from her alternate form. Only a few hundred meters more...

"Dammit, femboy!" snarled Taro, clothes-lining Barry before grabbing her by the shirt. "Why the hell did you run me over? Oh!" Taro took in Barry, running with her feet off the ground and Shampoo, hanging from her shirt. "Haw! Afraid of a itty, bitty kitty, are you?" He grabbed Shampoo by the scruff of her neck and jerked her off Barry's back, ripping the cloth. Shampoo let out an anguished yowl as Taro made as if to throw her in the girl's face.

Barry reacted, all right. Fearing that Taro might hurt the Amazon, she decided that yak-brain needed a taste of the Cat-Fist. "mMMMRAORRRrrr-FSST!"

Startled, Pantyhose Taro dropped them both. Shampoo, knowing how Ranma could be in Nekoken, didn't waste any time, but lit out as fast as she could go for the Nekohanten. 'Call Akane, get her over here and get help!' She banged through the cat-door, almost tripping Mousse and dashed for the kitchen.

Beneath the sink, a showerhead with a short pull-chain, like those found in chemistry labs, jutted from the hot water line. Shampoo jerked on the chain and swelled as she transformed back to human. She leaped to her feet as Mousse hurried into the kitchen, grabbing him by the front of his robe. "Call Ucchan's! Get Akane! Monster-boy fighting Ranma in Nekoken. I right back!"

Mousse glazed as he took in Shampoo's altogether-ness. Then he gasped as what she said sank in. Ranma in neko! Not good, especially for anything that could turn into a small animal or bird. He dashed for the phone as Shampoo's shouts of 'Grandmother!' echoed from the living quarters. Briefly as he dialed, he wondered if Taro had his insurance paid up. Then he shrugged. Maybe there wouldn't be enough left of the obnoxious jerk to save.

Barry arched her back, standing side on to Taro in the classic 'See? I'm huge and I'm gonna rip you up' stance a cat takes when threatened and cornered. Stupid bull-boy! Jerk! She pranced closer, outside foot and hand crossing under inside limbs as she gathered herself to do really painful things to this obnoxious lout.

Taro backed away, nervously. As a martial artist, he was Ranma's equal (or so he believed) in human form and in monster form was nearly unbeatable, but that didn't mean he didn't listen to his hindbrain when something weird happened. Ranma acting like an aggressive cat, fit that description to a tee. "Hey, Saotome! What do you think you're doing?"

Barry's response went something like, "rrrrrrRR-KAHHHHHT!" ...as she suddenly leaped for his face. As Taro tried to punch her away, she slashed with _neko_-claws. Had Barry wanted to, she could have cut his arms off. She planned to savor the moment and didn't want Taro's death or maiming on her conscience, so she settled for inflicting about fifty shallow surface cuts. About what Taro would have received had he been stupid enough to stick his arms into that long ago pit of cats that had so traumatized Ranma.

"_Aaugh_! Get off me, dammit!" Taro roared and flung her aside. Barry twisted and landed lightly on her hands and feet, immediately orienting and stalking sidewise, circling in on her opponent. "Gods! What's the matter with you, prick-chick?" he growled, shaking his bloodied limbs. His eyes were a little wild. Ranma had not attacked him like a martial artist, but like a wild animal. "I just wanted to yank your chain and ask some questions." He reached for the thermos he carried at his belt these days and, finding it missing, glanced hurriedly around. He saw it lying on the ground, five meters away in five even cylindrical slices, water already evaporating from the warm sidewalk. As he turned to face the circling form, he saw that the canal was at least seventy meters away. As he turned, he noted a fire hydrant, much closer but still more than forty meters away. He began moving toward that, hoping he could make it before that crazy Saotome attacked again. Suddenly, the redhead stopped circling, standing on all fours between Taro and the hydrant, a sly, evil smile lighting her face. Her yowling turned into a predatory purr that chilled his spine.

"Hey! What's wrong with Ranma?"

Barry and Taro's eyes broke to the side and recognized the approach of Hiroshi, Daisuke and Kogara among others hurrying up. They stopped dead at Ranma's high-backed stance and paled.

"Damn! He's gone neko," exclaimed Hiroshi.

"What's neko?" croaked Taro, cursing himself for the way his voice sounded. He paled a little as Ranma refocused on him and growled.

"He thinks he's a cat, and he's much more dangerous," Daisuke said, eyes wide. "If I were in your shoes, I'd run like hell!"

"If you can keep out of his way till he changes back, he won't hold it against you," offered Hiroshi, helpfully. "He says he doesn't remember what happens when he's in neko." Hiroshi began to edge in between Taro and the redhead.

"What are you doing?" Taro said with a hint of shock in his voice.

Hiroshi turned his head toward him. "Ranma's my friend. I know he hates it when he does this and probably wouldn't want to hurt you. I don't think he'll attack me."

"You're nuts!" Taro said. "Gutsy, but nuts. I can handle myself."

"Just go away for a while," Hiroshi said. "I don't know what you're fighting about, but I know Ranma doesn't like to hurt people. Please come back when Ranma's normal."

Barry watched astonished as Hiroshi interfered. Damn! She almost went through him before she heard him explain himself and his logic to Pantyhose. She sighed and let her back swing down to assume a sitting position, watching Taro intently. She'd let Hiroshi defuse this, unless yak-brain decided to get rough. Her focus changed as she noticed Kogara stare at her in fascination.

"Here, kitty, kitty." What the hell?

"What are you doing, Kogara?" Dai asked, a strange expression on his face.

"Cats have a certain reputation," the kendoist said. "Maybe we can find out..."

"Are you nuts?" Hiro and Dai chorused. "Leave him alone!" Hiroshi demanded. Kogara ignored them and meowed at Barry, edging closer.

Taro stood, blood dripping from his arms and stared at these people. He smirked suddenly. He watched the play of emotion over Ranma's face and saw the flare of anger now directed at Kogara. He almost missed the flash of motion and paled in sympathy.

Kogara stood frozen as the remains of his pants went south and the 'ting!' of brass belt buckle pieces bouncing off the pavement rang in the sudden stillness. He shivered as a cool breeze caressed skin that had been covered only moments before. Ranma remained sitting and ignored them all, washing her face with strokes of her hand, which she periodically licked. Hiroshi and Daisuke sucked in ragged breaths and looked green.

Shampoo hurried up, dressed now in one of her mini-dresses, holding a bowl. "You go away, monster-boy!" she scolded. Taro, of course, bridled at her command. "Aiya!" she exclaimed looking at Kogara. "What little stick-boy do? Is wrong!" she decided. She grabbed the offensive sight of a half-naked Kogara and threw him towards the canal. The three remaining men gawked as her mini-dress rode up, revealing a fine muscular bottom, but no panties; she had been a bit rushed. She glared at them and yanked her dress down again. "What you look at?" she growled at Taro's open leer, Daisuke's glazed, bloody-nosed wince and Hiroshi's deep blush. Shampoo turned back to Ranma. Offering the bowl, she said pleasantly, "Fish? Here, kitty-kitty. Have nice fish from Shampoo?"

Barry was in a hell of a state. This... It was hard not to break into laughter and roll on the ground. She would never have expected Hiroshi to have the courage or insight to act this way. And Shampoo with Kogara, her state of dress... She whined faintly and regained control as all of her audience stepped back in fear. Rising to all fours, she rubbed against the front of Hiroshi's legs, her opinion of him much higher than before, sniffed delicately at the offered fish and began to mince after Shampoo, leaving the other three behind her.

Taro, ignoring his scratched arms, turned to Ranma's friends. "What's that all about?" he demanded jerking his thumb after Shampoo and the apparently finicky neko-Ranma following her.

Hiroshi was still in shock from neko-Ranma rubbing up against him. Daisuke eyed the bloody figure and decided that anyone who could ignore that kind of damage was worth catering to.

"Ranma was in Nekoken. It's some kind of ultimate martial art his father taught him when he was little. But he only does it if he's around cats too much."

"How the hell did that happen?"

" When he was a little kid, Mr. Saotome tied him up in fish sausage and repeatedly threw him into a pit full of starving cats."

Taro gulped. Maybe there were worse things than having Happosai as a godfather. Then, Akane Tendo raced past them and rushed up the hill toward the Nekohanten. After a moment, Taro drifted after her, leaving Ranma's friends to their own devices. He couldn't _not_ go without looking like he was afraid. And like Ranma, he would never admit to that. He slid in the door, careful not to ring the entry bell.

"I have Mousse wait with hot water inside door. When Ranma come in, he splash," Shampoo was explaining to Akane.

"Oh, Ranma!" Akane seemed aggrieved.

"Sorry, Akane," Ranma's voice was rather rueful.

Taro flinched as the front door banged open and Hiroshi and Daisuke barged in noisily. "Hey! Is Ranma all right?" bellowed Hiroshi. Taro shrugged and fell in behind them. No sense lurking when his cover was blown anyway.

"Hey, Hiroshi," Barry said warmly. The more he thought about it, the happier he was that the young man had stepped in. Ranma didn't like to hurt people, and Barry's initial impulse to mess Taro up had been a mistake. He frowned as that individual came in behind them.

"Truce, Saotome," he said, holding up his arms. Akane gasped and frowned at the pigtailed martial artist. He flinched and looked contrite. "I'm just trying to find Happosai," Taro added.

Barry nodded and walked over to the Nekohanten's first aid kit, knowing he would find it well stocked. Mousse hadn't been giving Shampoo reasons to pound him of late; but before that he could have kept a small hospital in business all by himself. He took out some antiseptic and began dabbing at the scratches glad now that stitching was not needed.

"Ow, dammit!" Taro cuffed him, and he glared.

"What? Dooes it huwt?" Barry asked sarcastically. He offered the bottle and swab to the flushing martial artist. Taro snatched them and began treating himself. "The last time I saw Happi was up north at a... sporting event. The last time I've heard about him was when you were chasing him around Mt. Fuji."

"Damn!" Taro lathered antiseptic over the shallow wounds and looked curiously as Barry scanned the injuries with ki-vision. "What did you do there?" he asked suspiciously.

"They'll heal okay," Barry said. "Just a ki-technique, Taro. We've been studying a lot lately."

"Damn magic tricks," the other snorted.

"Really? What do you call turning into a monster?"

"Feh!" Taro snorted again. "How long have you been going kitty-brain?"

"Wonderful," Barry said sarcastically. "I can see you've found whole new realms of possible insults."

"Huh! huh!" Taro grinned and finished treating his cuts. "At least I've figured out how you manage to keep four girls chasing after you!" Barry scowled, while two of the girls in question looked puzzled. "Mmmrrrraooowww," Taro added a very creditable tomcat yell. Barry barely remembered to react.

Akane and Shampoo began to glow blue, and Hiroshi and Daisuke started edging for the door. They were blocked as another figure entered, hopping on her staff, long white hair swinging behind her.

"Shampoo! Akane!" she snapped. "Don't damage the restaurant!"

"Sorry, grandmother," Shampoo backed down.

"I apologize to you, Cologne," Akane said, watching Shampoo for cues on how to act like an Amazon. "This baka," she spat, "is another matter."

"Oooh! I'm scared," Taro smirked. "Fem-boy's macho-chick wants to fight!"

"I challenge you, Pantyhose Taro!" Akane yelled.

Taro waved a hand at her dismissively. "You've got to be kidding." He looked at his arms, grimaced and nodded to Barry. "If you see Happosai, tell him I've gone back to China for a while. When I'm back, I'll look him up."

Barry ignored the fuming Akane for the moment and focused on Taro. "He hasn't been around the dojo lately. So there's no point in hanging around there. Understand?"

"Dammit!" Pantyhose swore. "What happened? Did he get tired of the Tendo beds-and-breakfast?"

"Pantyhose," Akane growled.

"The old fart never got more than a copped feel from any of us and you know it, Taro," Barry retorted, snorting. "No, he probably has a real good idea what'll happen if he pulls anything on us again."

"I said..." Akane continued.

"Sure he does. Watch out for demons or stupidly powerful martial artists that he'll trick into coming your way." Eyes rising ceiling-ward, Taro smirked at the idea of trouble yet to come for his adversary.

"...I challenge..." Barry glanced over at Akane and noticed her aura. He considered warning Taro, but decided to open the front door instead.

"Once he feels he's taught you a lesson, he'll be back." Taro crossed his arms and grinned nastily. He glanced at Akane and then back at Barry, ignoring the obvious signs of agitation in the former. As Akane stepped into arm's reach, he began to take a loose defensive stance, obviously unimpressed by the eternally kidnapped fiancée.

"..._you_!" Akane struck. She was much faster than Taro remembered. Much, much faster. Stronger as well. Taro considered these facts as her single strike sent him spinning out the door to skid along the sidewalk. Snarling, Akane hurtled out after him. Taro somersaulted to his feet and deflected an ax kick aimed at his temple. He backed away from Akane, working his jaw and blocking or dodging the next dozen strikes.

"Damn!" he exclaimed. He took a shot to the shoulder that staggered him. "She hits harder than you do, fem-boy!"

"Tell me about it," Barry retorted. "I'd really take her more seriously, Taro," he warned. He grinned as Akane set up a trap and watched Taro fall into it, barely avoiding a punishing kick to the groin as he overextended. He winced as Akane finally took a hit, then a few more as the older martial artist began to focus on the idea that Akane wasn't a pushover anymore. Akane took a bruising blow to the ribs, but merely absorbed some of the inertia as she went into a Ranma-style airborne attack series, kicking, kneeing and striking with a blurring suspension of gravity.

Taro frowned as he found that she was utilizing strategy, as well, her landing point cutting him off from a nearby rain-barrel and another fire hydrant. He went to his own form of the Amiguriken and found she was a shade faster, using her Amiguriken technique to block and still strike back. He took hits to unlimber his trademark pantyhose belt to attempt to entangle her. Akane couldn't Nekoken, but she stroked out a blade of ki from her hand and ripped through the fabric like a sword.

Pantyhose was becoming just a bit alarmed. With Ranma, he always got a few moments now and then as Ranma assessed the damage he caused and debated whether or not to continue fighting, short of annihilating his opponent. He was beginning to realize that, while Akane used many of Ranma's moves, she might not be satisfied by anything less than a decisive victory. The girl had turned into a damn Amazon!

He took a back fist to the cheek, instead of the nose, as he twisted his head away. She slid inside his defenses and was hammering on him at a closer range than he could comfortably strike back. He managed to gain a grip on her upper left arm and tried a head butt. She slid aside, twisted and grabbed his collar for a throw, striking back with an elbow at his solar plexus. He managed to foil the move, but took damage, then took more damage as she managed to fall on top of him as they went down.

Barry winced in sympathy as Akane, who was not, appearances aside, running berserk, kneed him then gained a straddle position over Taro's stomach and attempted to grasp his throat. Taro bucked, then curled his legs over, managing to scissor Akane's head with his knees and hurl her away. Akane instantly reinforced her neck with armoring ki, took the throw, somersaulted and began to move in again.

Taro rolled to his feet painfully and backed away. He shot a truly incomprehensible look at Barry. "Tell her to back off, Saotome!" he growled. "I don't like fighting girls, but she's good enough, I'm willing to really hurt her if I have to."

Akane laughed and straightened. "You tried several moves that _could_ have hurt me, Taro," she said relaxing. "I think I've proved my point." She dusted off her tattered uniform and sauntered past. Barry noted she was taking lessons from Shampoo. He almost choked at the look on Taro's face. She'd made quite an impression with him ...on the side of a building ...on a lamppost ...on the sidewalk several times...

Shampoo applauded and smirked, and Hiroshi and Daisuke followed suit. They would have quite a story to tell their friends back at school.

Taro glared sourly at them and fixed Barry with a gimlet look. "All right. Who is this really?" he demanded.

"It really is Akane, Taro," Barry grinned, giving Akane a triumphant smile. "She's been training."

"Hells!" Taro looked at Akane again, but not with anger.

Barry suddenly wondered what it would be like if Taro started adopting Kuno's _modus operandi_. Hells, indeed! Better nip it in the bud. "What? Don't tell me your home village has laws about girls beatin' guys in a fight?" he demanded. Akane, facing toward Shampoo, stopped and went pale as a ghost.

Taro snorted. "Don't be absurd! Your sex-flipping is rotting your brain." He glanced at Akane again and made a terrible mistake. "Why the hell would I want to bed something as strong as an ape and half as pretty?"

(BAM!)

"You know, Taro," Barry said after the other regained consciousness, "I can believe _me_ doing that, but you?" Taro painfully looked around. Akane was not in sight. "She left, yak-brain," Barry said casually. "You made quite an impression."

"What do you expect?" Taro smirked, then winced. "Better watch it, fem-boy; maybe I'll steal her from you." He struggled to his feet again and dusted himself off.

"I'm not particularly worried," Barry said dryly. "Besides, that wasn't the impression I was talking about." He waved his hand at the collateral damage to the neighborhood. "Akane was just thoroughly pissed."

"What the hell have you been feeding her, Saotome?" Taro noticed that Barry had the antiseptic again to re-treat his arms. He snatched the swabs and fluid and quickly applied it himself, not trusting Ranma's good will.

"I'm not goin' there, Taro," Barry chuckled. "I've just been training her. She's gettin' pretty good."

"You've been teaching her your ki stuff, too?" Taro grumbled in disgust.

Barry grinned and stretched. "Yep! She's doing good there, too." He grinned at Taro and nodded at the pink color the medicine had left his arms. "Ya know ya might consider body paint that color. Looks good with yer bracers."

Taro snarled at him. Barry continued to grin as Taro turned on his heel and stalked away, looking extremely disgruntled.

* * *

Ryoga felt the tug of the rope that went from his belt to the harness Katsunishiki wore. He sighed and paid closer attention to the route they were taking. His after-school afternoons and weekends were kept busy talking to priests at various local shrines, with occasional trips to the university to talk to Konatsu Kenzan.

He thought about the encounter Akane and Barry had with Pantyhose Taro and ground his teeth. He had been off with Akari at a local shrine when that happened. He would have loved the opportunity to give old Pantyhose a shock with his own advanced training. According to Barry, Akane, Ryoga and Shampoo were the top martial artists in Nerima. Barry did not include himself in the assessment because he never studied the Art before coming here. Ranma's guest jokingly claimed he was only borrowing Ranma's skills.

Ryoga sighed. He didn't know what to think of the developments but hated what the separation was doing to Akane. He was a little surprised that he didn't pine for Akane anymore. She was still beautiful, still sweet, though he now recognized her temper, but she was not his. Besides, he had enough girl trouble.

"What are you laughing at, Ryoga?"

Ryoga glanced at the girl riding the mountainous pig's shoulders. Akari was lovely today, wearing a purple-trimmed white dress with elaborate lacework. An umbrella shaded her from the sun, even as a huge lightweight cloth blanket substituted for a coat of mud on Katsunishiki. Ryoga vaguely remembered Akari telling him pigs were subject to sunburn and used wallows to protect themselves. The blanket served as advertising, for which the Unryus were well paid, as well as protection from the sun. The blanket's sides carried the logos and legends of several major corporations, as befitted a champion.

He realized he had zoned out again and refocused on Akari. He had to admit, she was every bit as nice and beautiful as Akane had ever been. She looked a lot like Akane as well, and it was that, as much as anything else, which made him doubt his feelings for her. Akari Unryu was too nice to be stuck with a guy who was operating in rebound or emotional confusion.

"Ryoga?"

He jerked back to the present again and Akari giggled. "Um, you were saying?"

"I wondered what you were laughing at? It didn't sound like a happy laugh and I wanted to know if there was anything I could do to help?"

Ryoga sighed. "Do you understand what we've been doing at the Tendo dojo and all the temples and shrines?" he asked hopefully.

"No." Ryoga got a pained look and Akari teared up at what she took to be disappointment in her. "Oh, Ryoga, I wish I was smarter…"

"It's not a matter of being smart, Akari," he reassured her.

"Then what, Ryoga? I want to help, to make you happy."

He heard the hurt in her voice. 'It isn't her fault I'm such a jerk,' he thought. He held out his arms to her and, after a shocked moment of incredulity, she slid down off the high hump of Katsunishiki's back and into his arms. He cradled her against his chest like a child and walked along, guided by tugs of the leash that attached him to her pig.

Akari was in heaven, Ryoga's strong arms holding her close, safe from the world. Ryoga was horribly shy and rarely initiated any contact between them. Every time he did was special. She snuggled close and closed her eyes, relishing every moment.

"One extra large special, hold the pork, extra onions," Konatsu sang as he poured the batter, a few hours later. "One pork special with special sauce number five," he added, smiling at Akari. A tremendous 'gggGGRRUUUMMble!' echoed off the buildings shocking everyone into stillness.

"One extra, _extra_ large okonomiyaki with extra everything except pork," chorused Akari, Ryoga and Konatsu staring at Katsunishiki. The huge pig shifted uncomfortably and snuffled loudly in the direction of the yatai. It waggled its ears and waited impatiently. As the 'yaki were finished, Konatsu flipped them onto stiff paper plates and offered chopsticks where appropriate. His customers retreated to a tree and consumed their meals, commenting on Konatsu's skill as compared to Ukyo. The former kunoichi was much improved.

He was also much embarrassed.

"Oh, Konatsu," moaned a pretty female freshman at the young man, who blushed at the attention, "Did anyone ever tell you how much you look like Tuxedo Kamen?"

"Tuxedo K-k-Kamen?"

"Uh, huh!" sighed her friend. "You can throw roses at me anytime."

"R-roses?" stuttered the yatai-ya. He boggled, caught between nervousness and disgust. The only people he knew who threw roses at others were the Kunos. He tried to work up some kind of intelligent response.

"Hey, Konatsu," asked a young man who was sitting across from the Konatsu's-a-hunk fan club. "Who's the ninja babe on this panel? I'd like to meet her."

Konatsu, who knew very well just who that 'ninja babe' was, stuttered and purpled. He thought furiously then raised a hand to his head dramatically. "That's my sister. She's married and has five kids now. Pity it destroyed her figure. She must weigh a hundred kilos." He pretended to weep softly as his customers reacted in horror.

Ryoga snickered as they watched the drama. Akari, who looked horrified at Konatsu's tale, gave Ryoga a hurt look. "_Ryoga_!" she actually went so far as to hit him, feather lightly, when he persisted in snickering. "That's not nice! That poor woman!"

"He's lying, Akari," Ryoga whispered to her, "That's a picture of him!" He snickered some more. "He was raised as a girl by some of the ugliest, nastiest people of I've ever heard of. He really thought he _was_ a girl! He used to work at Ucchan's as a waitress." He told her the expurgated version of Konatsu's heritage.

"He-!" Akari was flummoxed. "How?"

"It makes you think," Ryoga said almost sadly. "Every one of the top martial artists I know can honestly say they've been through hell." He shrugged. "I wonder if it's a requirement?"

"Oh, Ryoga," Akari said leaning against him. "Why does the world have to be this way?"

"If the light is to shine brightly, it must be placed in a sea of darkness," Ryoga said suddenly. He looked at her and Akari blushed. Regardless of what else he thought it was obvious that Ryoga considered her one of those lights. She hugged him fiercely. Ryoga turned red, then blue. Akari shared another characteristic with Akane, a hug that could crush stone. When she realized how near he was to fainting dead away she released him with apologies. He hoarsely reassured her then stood up, offering a hand to bring her to her feet. Ryoga picked up the folder of stories Konatsu collected and the two visitors walked to the library. The lost-boy would soon be double-checking the interpretations offered against the original texts. After Akari set Ryoga up with his reading material, she would return outside to tour the campus with Katsunishiki.

Usually, she wandered back to the yatai to get another okonomiyaki for the huge pig. Shiki had developed a taste for Ucchan's 'yaki. Today, however, it didn't go as smoothly as usual. Two of the works Ryoga needed to check were on a restricted list and the librarian on duty was new. He didn't understand that the entrants of the martial arts scholarship competition had the same rights as attending students. It took more than an hour before they could convince him to contact his superior for permission to access those documents.

Katsunishiki sat patiently by the entrance to the library, ignoring the people that stopped and stared at the sight of a pig as large as a car. Like most pigs, Katsunishiki was far more intelligent than appearances indicated. He was very trainable and housebroken - well, 'street-broken'. He was unfettered, which was only practical; the sumo pig could break or uproot any object you could conveniently tie him to with anything less durable than a large ship's anchor chain. Usually, when Akari told Katsunishiki to stay, he stayed, much like a good guide dog. But if nature called or if annoyed by stupid aggressive humans, he would move from where he was waiting, though he wandered back periodically. Today was one of those days.

"What is that thing?" Nikki Daikansatsu, the yakuza wannabe, stopped outside the library with two of his goons. Katsunishiki sat on his haunches; the only movement he made was an occasional twitch of his ears. "Is this some sort of joke?" He walked boldly over to read the legend on the blanket Katsunishiki wore.

Katsunishiki of Unryu Farms - Champion Sumo Pig 1987, 1988, 1989, 1990, 1991… Sponsored by… The list of major corporations sponsoring the animal made Nikki's jaw hang open. He looked at his stooges, then at the pig, and huddled for a hurried conference.

Soon one of the men was sprinting across campus to get a truck, while the other went looking for some 'pig-type food' and a rope, leaving Nikki to watch and rub his hands over what a coup it would be to pig-nap such a valuable animal. This might help him recover some of his recent losses to Nabiki and put him solvent again. He was getting nervous, what with the creative bookkeeping and the funds from his yakuza father's accounts that might soon be missed.

When Akari came out of the library, she spared not a glance at the crushed pickup truck despite the steady blaring of its horn or the yelling the driver was doing at a muscular young man trying to wrench the driver-side door off. All she noticed was the absence of her large sumo pig. She hoped she knew where he was headed.

Katsunishiki grumbled to himself as he meandered down-campus to Ucchan's yatai. Some humans were simply too rude and strange for his comfort. If Akari was alone, he would have stayed by the library, but Ryoga was more than competent to protect her, even from those idiots!

He had ignored the pickup truck that pulled up. He had frowned, as much as pigs can, when they tied a thick rope around his neck. He withdrew a little as they offered him food from the campus cafeteria, which didn't tempt him at all. All these little inconveniences had worn on his temper, but not pushed him into action, because Katsunishiki was an intelligent pig trained to fight other sumo pigs, not humans. While it could be argued that he _did _attack humans when Akari was searching for her fiancé that had been a specifically ordered exception. Besides, as incompetent as Nikki and his goons were, Katsunishiki hadn't made the connection between their actions and their intent - to abduct him.

Then, at Nikki's urging, one of the goons smacked the huge pig across his haunches with a stick. Nikki and said goons found out that pigs _could_ be both dangerous and fast. Fast enough to make the chase around the pickup truck exciting, as he pursued them with furious grunts and open-mouthed roars, showing tusks that could have passed for railroad spikes. Katsunishiki didn't quite break the laws governing momentum, but Nikki and company didn't have time to appreciate that. They managed to jump into the truck and close the doors, only to have the furious swine rear up and skillfully slam his ton of weight down on the truck bed, bending the rear axle as Nikki started the engine and threw it in gear.

Front wheel drive accelerated the truck to a hopping (due to the bent axle), spine-jarring, forty kilometers an hour before Katsunishiki caught them again and shoulder-blocked the truck into a wall, coincidentally crushing the doors shut and shattering the windows. Honor satisfied, the pig left feeling peckish to find Konatsu.

Konatsu finished his latest okonomiyaki creation with a flourish and presented it to his customer. He was guiltily enjoying being on his own. The favorable comments his creations received were doing wonders for his new self-image as a man. He had known, when he waitressed at Ucchan's, that many of the customers came in because he looked like a pretty girl. Of course back then he still believed he was a pretty girl. "Next?"

"One with bonito flakes, corn, onion and wasabi, please."

Konatsu smiled and went to work. Ukyo and Ranma had done their best to help straighten him out; and Kasumi Tendo loaned him some books dealing with gender confusion and self-image, as well as explicit biological texts so he understood the significance of the differences in the plumbing. He hadn't really explored his sexual orientation yet, but the admiration and gratitude he harbored for Ukyo was steering him in what most people considered a normal direction, for a change. "Here you go! Next?"

"Bwee! Buk!" A bass grunt greeted his inquiry. 'Huh?' The yatai rocked from a heavy push. The ninja-trained vender wheeled his arms wildly and oriented on the sound. Soft, ridiculously long-lashed brown eyes peered out from a massive pink-white face.

"Katsunishiki!" Konatsu shouted. "No, no, no! Bad pig!" The yatai rocked again.

"Bu-KWEEEeee! (Translation: 'C'mon, Konatsu; I've had a bad day and I need another 'yaki!')

"Don't hurt Ukyo's yatai," the former kunoichi screeched. "Bad pig!" Konatsu rolled over the counter and smacked the huge swine on the nose.

Katsunishiki jumped back and regarded Konatsu with a hurt look. Then his temper got the better of him and he charged...

...Straight at Konatsu and Ukyo's yatai.

"No, no, no, NO! _Bad_ pig!" Konatsu yelled again, setting himself to defend the yatai with his life.

Akari came over a rise and saw Katsunishiki charging Konatsu and the yatai. She drew in a breath to scream at her pig to stop, but it was already too late. Katsunishiki made contact with the slender young man and somersaulted eerily into the air to crash down, stunned, a meter short of the paneled cart. The ground shook a moment, and silence filled the spaces combat had so recently claimed.

Konatsu dusted himself off and shook a finger at the recumbent pig. "I said 'no', and I meant _No_! Don't hurt the yatai, Katsunishiki." The pig grunted and rolled onto its chest. "I can't make you an okonomiyaki if you break the yatai. Now, wait your turn. I'll be happy to fix something for you." As the pig rose unsteadily to his feet, Konatsu jumped back behind the grill. "Let's see... An extra, extra large with everything, no pork." He poured the batter.

"K-Konatsu," Akari stammered as he worked. He looked up to see Akari standing beside the grumpy Katsunishiki, her hands clasped before her and her eyes huge.

"Oh, hi, Akari-san," Konatsu said smiling. He glanced at the huge pig and the smile slipped a little. "Sorry about that. But I couldn't let Katsunishiki damage Ukyo's yatai."

"How did you..." breathed the astonished pig farmer.

Konatsu froze and did a good imitation of Ryoga zoning out. "I...I just knew." He opened and closed his mouth a few times. "Oh. Oh, my! Thank you Akari-sama." He bowed to her.

"Why?" was her intelligent reply.

"I would never have remembered," he said, flipping the okonomiyaki. "Did Ryoga tell you of how Ukyo rescued me?"

"Yes."

"Well," Tears began to stream down Konatsu's face, "It's stupid, but fighting Katsunishiki made me remember what it was like before the tea shop, when I lived on a farm with my mother and father and my little sister, Kyoko. I haven't thought of them in years!" The spatula he was using to flip the okonomiyaki was in danger of being mangled. "I lost them in an earthquake."

"Kenna?" Akari blurted.

Konatsu stared at Akari. She smacked her hand over her mouth, embarrassed and wondering why she said _that _name after all these years. Konatsu blinked and stared at her, until the tension (and the cooking smells) began to make Katsunishiki shift impatiently.

"A... A-Ari?"

* * *

"I can't believe you did that to him, Barry," Akane scolded as they walked toward Ucchan's. Shampoo and Mousse would meet them at the dojo later. "Using the Nekoken on Taro that way." 

Barry winced. For all that she often tried to learn the traditional lore of a wife through 'bridal training', among Akane's 'successes' was her ability to scold. "You had to have been there."

"Honestly. And how do you justify it?" she demanded in her low intense, 'I'm really unhappy!' voice. "I doubt Shampoo would have offered to jump in your face. Not unless she thought your life was in danger…"

"No, I couldn't claim that," Barry admitted. He sighed as Akane, about to let him off, frowned again and went back to puzzling the situation out. Shampoo had offered nothing about the root cause of the incident. She had been too embarrassed. Which meant Akane was left assigning blame. "Taro just ticked me off…"

"I really thought better of you, Barry!" she exclaimed. "You could have hurt him!"

"What about your little fracas, tomboy?" Barry retorted. "Beating up on an injured guy like that?"

Akane blushed and looked down. "He shouldn't have said that," she mumbled.

"Said what?" Barry inquired innocently.

She glared at him. "You know very well, what! Implying Ranma acts like a cat-"

"He does. It's called Nekoken." She swatted him.

"Yes! But not like… like that!"

"True," Barry admitted. "He acts more like a kitten than a tomcat when he's under."

"Yes! And then insinuating that we… That my sisters…" She flushed this time with anger.

"Taro's a jerk, Akane," Barry supplied for her. "Which is why I used Nekoken." He held up a hand to stop her. "Taro doesn't hold back against Ranma when they fight, Akane. And he's too close to Ranma's skill. Pretending to go Neko, especially when he shoved Shampoo in my face, was a lot safer than fighting him full out."

"He did what?" Akane shouted.

Barry squiggled a finger in the ear that had been oriented her direction and worked his jaw. "Taro was being a jerk," he repeated. "I had to react to Shampoo to stay in character and he thought it was funny I was afraid of her." He grinned ferally. "I merely changed his mind for him."

Akane was incensed! "If I had known that! Why I'd have…"

"Sweeto!" (Sploosh! Gooosh!)

"AAAAaaggh!" (POW!)

Happosai bounced off the wall and leered at the two females. One shocked and the other enraged and dripping wet.

"What the hell you do that for, old man!" shrieked Barry. Having her nipples pinched by hard little fingers gave an all new level of loathing to what she felt for the freak.

"Needed a recharge m'boy!" Happi looked less happy as his focus went beyond them and his eyes betrayed something approaching fear. "Gotta run!" He suited action to words and departed without further attempts at molestation.

Barry shivered and cradled her abused bosom. "Damn freak! What was that all about?" Akane shrugged and they turned look in the direction he had run from.

A dust cloud roared up, a whirring of chain and the roar of wind around a rapidly moving body. It seemed to jump at them! Barry shoved Akane aside and leaped the opposite direction – which was unfortunate. Had she stood her ground the oncoming vehicle and rider would have missed her completely.

"EEEeeK!" a feminine voice shouted as Barry appeared in her flight path.

(Mooosh!) went Barry. As the dust cleared, she was revealed, on her back, arms and legs akimbo with a bicycle track straight up the front of her body. Akane picked herself up and rushed to the downed figure. "S-s-shampoo?" Barry croaked. "B-b-but its p-pink!"

Akane, starting to gently pick up the abused head in her hands, tears forming in her eyes, let it drop at the sound of her rival's name. The red-haired head hit the pavement with a 'thunk'. Akane struggled to resist beating the injured girl, but wondered why the hell she would mutter the Amazon's name… "Oh! The bicycle!" she exclaimed softly.

"I'm sor-ry."

Akane blinked and turned her eyes to a tall well endowed girl who, still stride the offending bicycle, sidled over to peer concerned at her victim. She sounded awfully familiar.

"Is she gonna be alright?" Big green eyes framed by thick, waist-length strawberry blond hair stared at the fallen redhead still doing twirly eyes and twitching on the ground.

Akane swallowed and nodded silently.

"Alright!" The mournful face went joyous and unconcerned instantly. She jumped in place reversing back to her original course. "Wait, Mouse! I still wanna play!" Legs churned and the improbable bike laid down rubber for nearly thirty meters as she accelerated on Happosai's trail. Akane's eyes widened as the strange girl used a technique she'd only seen Shampoo try – bouncing off the pavement to leap the bike over a moving car in her path. The unusual girl and her vehicle were soon out of sight in the busy streets.

"What the hell was that?" Akane inquired to no one in particular.


	39. Amazon Days

**Guest Ki: Chapter 38**

_**Amazon Days**_

(Dmp, dmp, dmp, dmp, dmp...)

Barry ran the last twenty meters to Ryoga's door cursing the fact that she hadn't checked the weather forecast before leaving the house. In the gray light of early morning, she hadn't paid attention to the fact that the overcast was clouds, not fog or mist. Now she paid for it. She pounded on the front door then fumbled in a pocket for a key. They had agreed early that, if time were short, Barry should come looking for Ryoga rather than waiting for him to find the front door. With a jerk, she swung the door open and flung herself inside. She bounced off a muscular chest and back out into the street.

"Damn! He musta been right inside the door for a change. Ryoga, don't move! I'll..." She took in the tall, broad shouldered figure before her. "You're not Ryoga." Barry rolled and came to her feet, prepared for trouble. This guy had better... He did look familiar, though. "Do I know you?"

"I doubt it." The light baritone voice sounded a bit like Ryoga, too. She scowled at the face, the green eyes and coarse black hair, the mustache and small neat beard. The man looked her over in return and smiled lopsidedly. The fang at the corner of his mouth clinched it.

"You're Ryoga's dad?"

"Yes. You're not part of the hired help, are you?"

"Nah! I'm..."

"Ryoga's girlfriend?" This was asked hopefully.

"Nah, just a friend. I'm gettin' him ta school," Barry said. She smiled and received another smile in return.

"Is Ryoga here, then?" asked the older Hibiki looking around hopefully. He started to come out the door, but Barry took him by the arm and drew him back inside. He looked at her in surprise.

"If you're Ryoga's dad, let's not lose ya before ya get a chance to say 'hi'," Barry said, releasing him again. "Akari was bringing him in Monday night from the university. We all signed up for a martial arts competition there. If he wins his form, it could mean a scholarship. Sit there!"

The older Hibiki colored a little and looked uncomfortable. "Oh! Come on." Barry dropped him off at the bathroom and walked to Ryoga's room. Miraculously, he was there. Barry regarded the curled up form. In his dreams, Ryoga was still in his tent.

"Yo, Ryoga! Time to get up!"

"ZZZzzzzzz… ZZZzzzzzz..."

Barry shook him a bit and sighed. When Ryoga was like this, only immediate threat or 'pigging' him would wake him up. She really didn't want to 'pig' him. She leaned close to his ear. "Ryoga, because of you, I've seen hell! Prepare to die!" She dodged the punch that came her way, set herself and…

He was still asleep?

"Ryoga! Yer dad's here! Ya don't wanna miss him, do you?"

"ZZZzzzzzz… ZZZzzzzzz…"

"You asked for it," Barry sighed and leaned in close to his ear. This time the tones were not warlike and threatening. "Oh, Ryoga. Last night was... _wonderful_!" Sultry, husky, Barry cringed a little inside even as she said the words. She watched in fascination as every hair on Ryoga's body stood up and took notice. He thrashed awake, holding his nose.

"Dambit, Barwy!" Ryoga swung at her as she ducked away. "You have no idea... Wadja do that for?" he finally demanded after Barry continued to dodge his half-hearted swipes.

"Yer dad's here, P-chan! I thought ya might want ta say hello!"

Ryoga stopped. "M-my Dad?"

"'Bout yer height, same green eyes, same fangs, same black hair, same lack of direction," Barry ticked off. "One a yer family, anyway."

"Where?" Ryoga looked pole-axed.

"I'll get ya there, P-chan," Barry said dragging him to his feet. "Do you have ta sleep in yer clothes all the time?"

"Don't call me P-chan," Ryoga growled. "What would you do if you tended to turn a corner and wind up in the middle of the Ginzu stark-naked?"

Barry shuddered. "Ya got a point."

They knocked at the bathroom door. "Uh, Mr. Hibiki? Ya still in there?"

The door popped open. "Sorry, I was looking on the wrong side of… Son?"

Barry turned away at the reunion. Hibikis apparently made up for the infrequency of interaction through the intensity. She found herself tearing slightly. Ryoga, however infrequently, knew the love of a family. It explained a lot about his basic decency, as well as his intense depressions. Barry could sympathize about the grief and frustration of separation. Mr. Hibiki broke the moment and roughly told his son to get a bath.

"But, Dad, I haven't seen you in six years!" Ryoga complained. "I want to catch up, tell you what's happening in my life; find out what's happening in yours! I..."

"Son! Hibikis must take advantage of every circumstance. Having a steady way to get to school should not be wasted and you seem to have one friend, at least, who is willing to go out of her way to help you." Mr. Hibiki's eyes ran over the girl-type body appreciatively. "You should appreciate her more."

"Um, Dad, she's not..."

"It's very modern of you to have a friend who's a girl, Ryoga, but she is pretty. She seems nice."

"Trust me, Dad," Ryoga said shuddering. "It wouldn't work."

"Come on, lover boy," Barry said easily, grabbing him by an elbow. "I'll explain to yer dad while you get washed up." She shoved Ryoga into the bathroom and shut the door. "I'll be back in ten minutes! Don't go out any doors or windows," she yelled. She took Mr. Hibiki by the arm and led him to the main room.

"I'll make some breakfast," Barry offered. "Just stay put."

In the kitchen, she turned on the hot water, picked up the phone and dialed the Tendo's. She got Kasumi and told her what was happening. Kasumi, predictably, thought it was sweet that Ryoga was seeing his father after all this time. When asked, Kasumi told her Akane had already left for school. Glancing up at the clock, Barry cursed, profusely apologized to Kasumi for using such language and said her good-byes. She ran a hand under the hot water and turned to open the pantry.

She didn't change. The water was still cold. With a groan of exasperation, she put a kettle on to boil and then opened the pantry, planning to start something cooking while she went up to rescue Ryoga from the inevitable 'pigging' this situation would cause.

"Hello?" Barry said surprised. A woman with long brown hair pulled back in a dark blue bow, stood facing into the cupboard. Startled herself, she turned around, blinked and smiled a little uncertainly. Though an older woman, possibly older than Barry himself was, she was obviously in trim condition and carried herself like an athlete. Barry caught the familiar Hibiki fangs and smiled back.

"Um... I'm terribly sorry about this," the woman said guardedly. " I thought I was in… I'm terribly sorry."

"Mrs. Hibiki," Barry hazarded. The woman met her eyes again, startled. "Ryoga's mom?"

"Why, yes!" After a second she added, "Do I know you?"

"No. But I know someone you might want to see." She took Mrs. Hibiki by the arm and led her out to the main room.

As Barry had observed to himself just before Ranma's disappearance, some things are too intense and private to be witnessed. She literally shoved them into the master bedroom and went looking for Ryoga.

"Squeeeee!"

"Yeah, yeah. I know yer hot water's out. I think today may just be a very good day for ya, though." Barry toweled the little black pig off and picked up the clean clothes that had probably been laid out by Akari before she left Monday. "I got a kettle on in the kitchen. Let's change and talk. I don't think you're goin' ta school today."

* * *

Barry didn't make it to school, himself, until the middle of lunch. 

Ukyo saw him first. "Where the hell have you been?" she snapped. "You missed Assembly! And where is Ryoga?"

"Last I saw him, he was getting a big smooch from a brunette with a dark blue bow in her hair." Barry shrugged off assembly. Missing one was normally a good thing.

"Oh! He was _what_?" Barry noted clinically that Ukyo was keeping her mega-spat very sharp.

"That wasn't funny, uh... Ranma!" Akane said after looking around. There were too many people who were too attentive as a result of Ukyo threatening his throat with her 'big gun'. "Boy are you in for it!" she hissed, "and where is Ryoga? You were supposed to-"

"Takin' his time gettin' ta know his mom and dad, I hope," Barry answered carefully. Ukyo's spatula hung at his throat another heartbeat, then dropped away. They gaped at him.

"His folks?" Ukyo gasped.

"His parents?" Akane said slowly. "Omigod! When was the last time he saw them?"

"I don't know about his mom, but it's been six years since he last saw his dad."

"Six... years..." both girls said, tearing emotionally. Ukyo recovered first and placed her hand in what seemed to be a friendly manner across Barry's shoulder. "So why did it take _you_ till lunch to make it to school?" she grated.

"The hot water tank broke over there and they needed someone ta stick around till it could be replaced," Barry said easily. "Also, I had to explain about my curse. Mr. Hibiki was settin' up ta marry me off to Ryoga. Wouldn't take no for an answer, until I showed him and assured him several times 'I am not a girl'!"

Ukyo snickered and shook her head ruefully. "Fate seems to try to set up Ranma and Ryoga quite frequently, doesn't it?"

"If so," Barry retorted, "Fate has a twisted sense of humor."

"Ryoga's not coming today, then?" Akane asked to confirm.

"Nope. His dad was gonna throw him out and make me take him ta school but, uh... he got a bit distracted."

"Oh?" Ukyo and Akane looked puzzled.

"Fer cryin' out loud! I ain't gonna go inta detail about things like that!" Barry blushed, remembering the ki readings that had glared from the master bedroom. They hadn't wasted opportunity at all! Ryoga had blushed and found his way to a seat by the table to wait and Barry had checked on the hot water heater and rescued some documents stored in cardboard boxes nearby. "Hell! Who knows how long it's been since Mr. and Mrs. Hibiki have seen each other?"

The girls boggled at him.

"And you know this how?" asked Akane with a glare.

"I'm not a Peepin' Tom, dammit!" Barry snarled. "Just don't go there..."

They pestered him through the remainder of lunch, of course.

* * *

History class continued the discussion Barry's report raised a week ago, as Mrs. Morisato's class examined the Wa and the Yayui in greater detail. They were a collection of small kingdoms ruled by priestess-sorceresses described by the Chinese almost two thousand years ago. In most cases, these powerful women were surrounded by bodyguards; fierce warriors who, also, were women. One, a certain Pimiko, was said to have a bodyguard of a thousand women warriors, but also one man, to help her communicate with her subjects. The general consensus among the males in the class was disbelief and some snide comments wishing to be that lone male. Akane, Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi, obviously taking umbrage at some of the perverted comments, rose and asked if anyone present was willing to take them on, individually or in mass. 

Barry found himself the center of the men's attention. "Oh-ho, _no_! Don't look at me!" he said, when it became clear what they wanted. "I don't hit girls, unless it's trainin' or somebody's life is at stake!" He suddenly snapped his fingers. "Besides, isn't today the first of October? I gotta listen to these gals, now, just like you do. I have a feelin' a guy hittin' a girl would be a really bad idea right now."

"Very bad," Shampoo confirmed frostily. She turned back to Barry. "You in big trouble, Ranma," she whispered. "You not at assembly this morning when Shampoo confirmed as Temporary Council President. Why you insult me this way?"

"Uh… Sorry?"

"If that all you miss it bad. But just you wait, Ranma!" Her chin rose and his stomach sank. "You really wish you were there, come end of day," she added cryptically.

Barry hung his head. "Oh, man! I am sorry, Shampoo," he whispered back. "With the weekend, then Ucchan's on Monday and Happosai turning up..." The perverted little Master had returned from wherever that maniac bicycle-girl had chased him and splashed Barry in the middle of his training with Kuno. The equipment, sized for a much larger frame, had so hampered him (now her) that Tatewaki had gotten in several solid strikes. Tatewaki had been in shock at the discovery of his pigtailed goddess writhing within his opponent's equipment in an attempt to regain her breath. Happosai had been caught by an enraged Akane and booted into the stratosphere. "...then Ryoga's parents this morning... I totally forgot what day it was, till a few minutes ago!"

"You forget head if not fasten to shoulders," she returned angrily.

"Shampoo?" Mrs. Morisato's voice rang out in the silence following the Amazon's whispered rebuke. "Do you have something to share with us?"

Shampoo rose to her feet. She nodded her head in respect. "I apologize for disrupting class, Mrs. Morisato." She walked to get her buckets.

Barry rose then and nodded to Mrs. Morisato. "It was my fault, Mrs. Morisato. I should get bucket duty as well."

Mrs. Morisato smiled and waved her hand. As he moved toward the door, she spoke. "Miss Hinako wants to see you as well, Ranma. I believe you were absent this morning from classes?"

Barry winced. He could feel the ki-draining coming. He nodded to her and ducked out. As he left, he heard Mrs. Morisato asking the class about the reasons for Empress Jingo's expedition against Korea.

"Ranma, what you do out here?"

"Grammar, Shampoo, grammar." Barry sighed and shifted his buckets. "I should have remembered. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you. I know how important this is to you."

"You typical empty-head male," Shampoo huffed. After a moment though she asked, "What you say about Ryoga's parents?" She listened intently as he explained and her hard eyes softened. "You also big marshmallow," she said, sniffling. "I forgive you for this morning, though maybe Miss Hinako not do so."

Barry shuddered again. "Uh, Shampoo, what did you mean that I would really wish I had been there this morning?"

Shampoo dimpled, though she also managed to look pensive. "Oh, you find out later. You know Great-grandmother! Not want me to spoil surprise." She rolled her eyes.

"_Boo_!" Water sloshed and Kogara laughed as Shampoo-cat hung by her claws from girl-type Barry's shirt. In his hand was a hall pass.

"Jerk!" Barry's return smacked Kogara back through the classroom to slam into the registers below the windows. Face contorted, she stood there trembling with rage and, most assumed, the beginnings of a Nekoken fit. Akane and Ukyo, who knew better, relieved her of Shampoo and hurried off to the bathroom to change her back. Mrs. Morisato walked delicately over to the redhead and leaned over to gaze into her eyes.

"I understand why you are angry, Ranma, but it is not within your authority to punish Mr. Daibunmasatsu. Please report to the Principal's office. We'll speak with you shortly."

"Yes, ma'am," the redhead said. She turned and walked away.

"Now, Mr. Daibunmasatsu," Mrs. Morisato said, returning to the interrupted class, "what you did was very impolite." The kendoist had risen and was dusting himself off. He glanced at her with some irritation. "It seems that in your case, I must be firm." Her hands rose and slid gracefully through the air, which rippled in their wake. She spoke something that almost sounded like a haiku.

(BZZZZAKT!) Kogara toppled, spasming, singed and blackened by the powerful, if low amperage, electrical event. With wild eyes and trembling limbs, he staggered to his feet, shaking and wild-eyed. The class all stared at the mild, pleasant looking teacher. Most of them had forgotten that the principal did not hire teachers based on credentials and good manners.

"Mr. Daibunmasatsu, I hope you take this chastisement in the spirit in which it was administered and understand that such behavior cannot be tolerated. Please take your seat now. Your hall pass privilege is temporarily suspended."

* * *

Cabana Man laughed, strummed his ukulele and left Barry to stew in girl-type till the end of the day. When Miss Hinako wandered in, she was ready to take on everyone and hell with the consequences. It was a shock as Miss Hinako, instead of berating her or yanking out a coin, simply giggled, poured hot water over her, then led him to the auditorium. 

"Miss Hinako, what's goin' on?"

"You'll find out, Ranma," she giggled. "Would you like a lolly? I find them calming..."

"Uhhh... No, thank you."

He was led up on stage before the entire assembled school to face Shampoo standing beside a lottery barrel, a device used to draw winners for contests. Seated behind a table on the stage were Mrs. Morisato, Mrs. Satamiya and Cologne, their 'Matriarchs'. The palm-treed fruitcake lounged in the wings. After placing him center stage, Miss Hinako skipped to her own seat beside the old ghoul and watched expectantly.

"Ranma," Shampoo acknowledged the pigtailed martial artist with a nod. "At the Assembly you miss this morning we establish how rules are enforced, how Student Council act like Amazon Council of Elders and how members of Administration will act as Matriarchs." Barry noted she was being very precise in her Japanese. "Amazon custom is founded on ancient traditions and laws based on those traditions and on experience. Like the Student Council, the village elders are older respected members of the Community. Not all are female, but most are. That beside point – is beside the point." She frowned at her slip then went on. "The Matriarchs are former Elders, more than 70 years old and always women, who are masters in at least three respected traditions. Elders are men or women, older than 50 years, and are elected for life or until they give up duty. Unlike here, there is no set number that can be Elders. Elders make the laws and act as judges. Matriarchs mostly act as teachers to the Community, but also have power to…" She paused searching for the concept. "Can _veto_ new laws they do not like. That way any law must meet with approval of elders and approval of tradition." Barry's ears perked up at that. The political device for making or changing Amazon law had not been discussed in the booklet. "This is how tradition is defended."

'And unless a law was very well received, it is how tradition is forced on the younger generations,' thought Barry, interested. 'And how a stupid law like the kiss of marriage might drag on into modern times.' Shampoo held up a finger. "You notice I say Elders act as judges?"

He nodded impatiently.

Standing tall, Shampoo raised her hands toward the ceiling, palms up in supplication. "Hear me goddess and revered ancestors! Hear me honored Matriarchs of Fu-rin-ken and elected Elders. We stand in your presence that all may hear the decision of this court." Barry twitched and looked around. "Before you stands a member of this community, accused of acts of discord, property damage and disharmony."

"You mean me?" he demanded pointing to himself.

Shampoo didn't answer. "Some have accused Ranma of discord. He does not obey the rules demanding conformity of dress, respect for authority and it is alleged that he sleeps in class."

There was a nervous titter from the assembly. From the wings, Principle Kuno called out, "Da wahinis have it in fo' you brudda! Yo gonna get it now!"

"Ranma," Shampoo said, turning back to address him. "What say you?"

Barry thought fast. "I… I can't wear a regular uniform; it would fall off when I changed shape and a naked or half-naked girl would cause more trouble than wearin' stuff I can adjust. As for authority," he glared at Kuno, "I'll respect the respectable."

"And the charge of sleeping in class?"

"Urgh!" Barry grimaced. What had he gotten into? "Guilty… In the past, but I've been better, lately," he added. 'Damn! That sounded lame.'

"The Council of Elders will confer." Shampoo declared before retreating into a huddle with the other class officers.

Barry sweated. Principle Kuno sidled out and leered at him. "When you found guilty, guilty, _guilty, _I gonna snip, snip, snip yo hair little keiki!"

Barry snorted at him. "Feh! You'd need a tribe of Amazons ta hold me down, asshole. Don't make me hurt you." They both looked up as Shampoo returned.

"Ranma," Shampoo nodded to him. "Of the charges of discord, you are found not guilty of dress code violations, and not guilty of disrespecting authority."

"Hey, hey! What am I?" The tree-bearing Hawaii-phile protested. He wilted as Shampoo regarded him scornfully, then ignored him.

"You are found guilty of sleeping in class, but almost everyone agree you are doing better. You must consider yourself warned, however."

Barry tried to hide a sigh of relief, but tensed waiting for the 'other shoe' to drop.

"Do not forget you are also charged with property damage and disharmony," the Amazon reminded him. She abruptly cut him off with a raised hand as he began to protest. "Evidence and testimony say property damage caused by others…" Shampoo winced here, "Or in self defense when attacked. No one report Ranma damage something, otherwise."

Barry tensed a little more. Ranma's memories held a few items – he wasn't lily white in this regard but apparently had lucked out, witness-wise. Still, there was still one other charge – what had it been?

"What about _me!_" insisted Principle Nut-Job. "He kick me through roof assembly befo' las' an' break up all my sweet, sweet vis-u-al aides, yah! He do plenty damage, huh?" He danced in place like a little child needing to go yet wanting to stay.

Shampoo sighed pensively and rolled her eyes before going on. Ignored again, Kuno crashed to the floor in a massive face-fault of irrelevance. "Last charge is that of disharmony."

"Yeah! What's that about?" Her look said more than words. "I'm shutting up."

"Disharmony is about four women chasing one man."

"Hey! I never asked-" The look came his way, again. "I'm shutting up till you're done."

"All parties considered at fault for disharmony."

"All parties? Does that mean you girls-" Barry raised his hands defensively at her look. "I know! Shut up, Ranma!"

"You want to go back to discussing disrespecting authority?" Shampoo growled. "Otherwise, Don't interrupt!" She took a cleansing breath. "All students are upset by actions of Ranma and fiancées. It sets a bad example. Disharmony is not, however, strictly speaking, a violation of law. It is instead an affront to custom and tradition."

She glared as Barry, or Ranma to her eyes, as he opened his mouth then thought better of it. Barry was becoming intrigued despite himself. Shampoo looked like she was sucking lemons. "Also, because it matter of tradition, it custom of Matriarchs to find solution." Barry froze. That wasn't a good thing. Especially since…

"And that means me, sonny-boy," Cologne cackled, po-going over. "Your teachers and I discussed this at length. And you know? They agreed we could take you back to China with us." She looked up at Ranma's affronted glare and grinned. "That was a joke, sonny." She cracked her knuckles. "Actually, we're offering you a choice; the _easy _way is to choose the girl you want and the other three can get on with their lives." She smiled. A hair-raising sight under the circumstances.

"Yeah?" Barry growled. "And if my choice didn't suit you it might be unfortunate for someone, huh?" Damn it, he liked the old woman, but something about the way she was acting; He felt his aura flicker in instinctive response to a threat and fought it down. Ranma may have fought Saffron to the death and won, but Ranma knew very well that it had been luck more than skill that he had succeeded. Ranma might have taken on the old woman himself, but Barry lacked the experience and control. Mixing it up with Cologne would probably end up fatal for somebody.

"Why, whatever do you mean, son-in-law?" she said with big puppy-dog eyes. "Can't blame an old gal for trying," she added in a cheerful tone. "In that case, you could try option number two."

"And option two is?"

Cologne didn't answer directly. "You're very popular with the girls, sonny-boy. One of the opinions expressed at the Assembly was that your little harem didn't deserve you." She shrugged. "Of course, they don't know you like we do. In any case, option two is what we call back home the 'Grandmother Rain of Gentle Plum Blossoms' strategy." Cologne continued to smirk and even went so far as to pull out her pipe to begin tamping in tobacco. "It's a time honored technique for socializing young men too shy or to distracted by other affairs to the important business of noticing the opposite sex." She patted the lottery barrel which Barry now noticed was full of folded notes.

"You aren't serious." Barry growled. "There ain't no way! They can ask, but I can always say, n-"

"As this was a disciplinary action, your parents were contacted," Cologne spoke over his protests. "Your mother thought it was a lovely idea."

Barry froze. His mother? Ranma's mother? Nodoka of the silk-covered sword? "You gotta be kidding me."

"You can always choose…"

"I choose not to choose," Barry groaned. "Now how the hell is this supposed to work? And is this gonna affect our little deal?" he added a little disingenuously.

Cologne nodded. "Very thoughtful, Ranma. Here's how this goes. We're going to pull 22 names from the barrel. Each day you will treat that girl as if you were courting her."

"Courting her! I don't know how-"

"Trust me, we know. You may actually learn something other than martial arts for once! You will meet the first girl selected after assembly and take her on a date – she buys, as that's how it's done among Amazons. You will however, carry her books, help her with homework, walk her home…"

"Are you kidding me? I have other obligations!"

Cologne nodded. "And you will order your schedule, so that you can meet those obligations." She smirked. "True, It'll be a full schedule… But, don't you think you can handle it?"

Barry leaned forward aggressively. "I can handle anything!" Inside, he shivered. Where had that come from?

"You better watch what you handle, Ranma!" Shampoo warned, eyes snapping. "And who!" Barry frowned as he heard similar sentiments from three other individuals.

"Are you challenging me?" he said icily. He wondered what would happen if someone really tried to order Ranma not to date someone?

Shampoo blanched. "Um… No! Not that way! Just… hope you be gentlemans and not take advantage of silly girls who…" She let her jaw snap shut as her grandmother glared.

"We'll all trust in your honor, Ranma," Cologne added smoothly. She smirked as she heard three other voices mutter dangerously. Now, if her great-grandaughter could control herself, they might get somewhere.

"Oh, hell!" Barry muttered. If it hadn't been for Nodoka… Barry glared at the old woman suspiciously. "And there ain't no guy's names in there?"

Cologne laughed. "Not a one. Mind you, it had been suggested…"

Principal Kuno stepped out of the wings, learing. "I still say why let the keiki off so easy? I say as Big Kahuna, you go all de way!" The Principal struck a pose. "Make de keiki date _every _day of the month. _AND _put de keiki' names in de barrel, too. Saotome then date appropriately!" He grinned and danced in glee as the red-faced young man at center stage clenched his fists in rage and took a single aggressive step toward the idiot.

"Why, you palm tree pervert..."

The older women behind the table conferred and Mrs. Morisato nodded and rose. "Ranma, please stay where you are." She then spoke in a language that tickled the ears with familiarity. There was a flash. In the audience, Kogara flinched and ducked for cover.

Principal Kuno stood, balanced on one foot with a rictus-like smile present in a blackened face. Slowly, his palm tree split down the center and floated aside. His ukulele seemed to crumble into dust. He toppled face down, spasming. "_Owie_!"

Barry wasn't paying attention to his fallen adversary. His startled eyes were fixed on Baradandya Morisato. He had seen the flash of the static charge that dropped Principal Kuno. The ki flash, though, that had accompanied it had been unique with characteristics he had never observed in free electricity before. But even that was not what was so interesting. Mrs. Morisato aura had not given off any sign of performing a ki technique. There had been no buffering or focusing of her ki. The pretty Kasumi-like woman came across to both ordinary and ki senses as a perfectly normal, untrained human being.

Given what he had just observed, she had to be anything but.

"Ranma?" Shampoo's voice broke into his thoughts. "Ranma?"

He shook himself. It looked like he'd have to hold that thought. "What?"

"We draw now for dates. Twenty-two women get date by lottery." She looked like she was going to cry.

"I don't mean anything personal by it, Shampoo," he reassured her. "Is everybody's name in there? You know?" His eyes asked.

She nodded.

"Well, good luck, then!"

Shampoo stepped back and nodded. Surprisingly, her face had cleared at his words. He hoped he hadn't encouraged her. The 'Matriarchs' stood up from the table and advanced to the lottery barrel. Mrs. Satamiya turned the handle and tumbled the tickets over and over. Barry judged there were a couple hundred tickets in there. Miss Hinako and Mrs. Morisato took turns drawing names from the barrel.

Hiroko Watanabe was the first pick. The slender dark-haired girl with glasses came up on stage beside Barry and shot him an indecipherable glance. She was not from Ranma's homeroom, and looking at her, Barry decided she must be a junior or freshman. Barry didn't recognize very many of the names.

Barry heard the name of Sayuri Jijumatsu, one of Akane's friends, when it was pulled and wondered why she would want to date Ranma. He suppressed a smile when to her delight, Shampoo's name was picked.

Moments later, the name Mio Saratalova came up. Barry was really puzzled over that one. The girl was into the occult big time and transferred out of Ranma's homeroom when a prediction she had made had not gone as expected. She was, unfortunately perhaps, not a popular girl in the school, her Russian-sounding name and peculiar activities keeping others at a distance. She found Akane's group more understanding of her strangeness, until Happosai crossed her path and she found seclusion to be preferable to molestation.

The twenty-first pick was Ukyo, who looked totally unimpressed. Barry found himself holding his breath. Akane's name had not yet been picked and this was the last chance. He glanced toward her to see how she was reacting to the whole situation. He found her sitting tensely in her seat between Kodachi and Ukyo. His eyes flipped back to the hand coming out of the barrel.

"The twenty-second name is... Sora Engleton."

Barry managed to school his expression to neutrality. In his mind, only Ukyo was a _safe_ date. Then he looked down at the audience again and saw Kodachi's sly smile. Forget what he thought. None of the dates were going to be safe. 'Ranma,' he thought to himself, 'because of you, I'm seeing _hell_!'

"Where would you like to go, Watanabe-_san_? Hey! Are you related to Mr. Watanabe who used to teach here?" he asked suddenly, making the connection with Ranma's neurons.

"Yes!" It was said grimly.

Barry looked down at the thin face behind large glasses. He could tell this 'date' was not going to be much fun. "Your father?" She nodded. He wasn't certain of the source of her animosity, but would not be at all surprised if fallout from one of Ranma's problems hadn't caused the timid and excitable instructor some grief. He regarded her and nodded again. "Let me see some folks and then we'll go somewhere to talk, okay?"

She nodded again tightly and he walked to the front of the stage.

"Well, that was strange." He knelt and spoke as the fiancées joined him at the center stage. Ukyo looked angry; Kodachi, unconcerned. Shampoo looked both fearful and exultant. Akane was pensive and wouldn't meet his eyes.

"I really wish there were another way out of this."

"There was, Ranma," Kodachi said. "You could have chosen one of us."

"I won't be pushed, Kodachi," he said sternly. "I'll choose when I'm ready." He met each one of the girl's eyes. "I want yer promises not to interfere."

"Ohohohohohoho!" Kodachi answered.

"What!" exclaimed Shampoo. "Why should we interfere?"

Barry glared at them. They shifted uncomfortably and looked at one another.

"You better not have any plans," warned Ukyo.

"I don't. But do you believe me?" They all exchanged glances again. They looked at him. Only Akane didn't involve herself in the discussion.

"Of course we trust you, Ranma-darling."

"Certainly!"

"You be a good date to the other girls. Not _too_ good date, but..." He noticed Ukyo did not include herself in the discussion either, but watched him with narrowed eyes. He smiled as if accepting the assurances and walked back to the 'date'.

"Oh, well," he breathed.

"Something wrong?" his date asked. He looked sidewise at her then back at the fiancées.

"Don't be surprised if our _date_ isn't the nice chewin' out you wanna give me," he warned.

"Are you trying to chase me off?"

"Nah," he said. "They probably won't do anything too bad."

"Why would they do anything at all?"

He gave her a surprised look. "Have you been hiding under…? Sorry. Look, Watanabe-san, I have two top-level martial artists who want to marry me, regardless of what they have to do to their competition. Two more tend to be violent to me because they blame me if anyone else acts affectionate, whether I asked for it or not. There are any number of other martial artists, kami, ghosts, ninja, and so on, who would like to see me dead on the off-chance I might threaten them someday." He grinned. "If any of 'em show up, head for cover. I'll hold 'em off."

She stared at him for a long time. "You have a weird sense of humor," she complained finally. "No one has that weird of a life."

"And lives to tell of it?" Barry finished for her. "Sure they do. Until somethin' catches up with 'em and they don't live to tell about it. That just hasn't happened yet."

"I..." She hesitated. "I was going to bring you over to my house. After I chewed you out, I mean. I wanted you to apologize to my dad."

"That'd work real good, provided we don't get ambushed because someone misunderstands what ya had in mind," Barry finished. "How 'bout I write him a note? Ta be honest, though, I don't know that I ever did anythin' bad to him... aside from fallin' asleep in class."

She glared at him again.

"Okay, okay! What did I do?"

She continued to glare.

"Hiroko, I'm not gonna have a prayer of makin' amends if I don't know what's wrong."

"Let's just go have a snack at a shop near my house," she suggested. "Maybe your memory will be a little better with some food in your stomach."

* * *

The coffee shop was one Ranma frequented, almost always in girl-type. They had good meals and _great_ desserts. Barry's mouth watered as he viewed the offerings but sighed and chose a bowl of ramen as default. Ranma came here for the ice cream. Barry didn't have the option of going in girl-type to really enjoy it. He looked about. Same customers, same counters, booths and tables… The paint on the one wall covered the patch where Shampoo burst in after him, and there was still a dent where Ryoga smashed Ranma's head against the wall during an abortive date with Akane. The owner didn't recognize him. Ranma's boy-type hadn't been in often enough to cause him trouble …yet. 

"Okay," Barry said slurping his ramen, "we're here. I'm supposed ta have a big revelation, right?"

"Yes!"

"Sorry, I'm not."

"I don't believe you," she said angrily. "It was right here at this table! You were in girl-type!"

Barry pointed over to a line of booths along a wall. "I usually am when I'm here. I sit with Akane over there. As for girl-type..." His lips twitched. "Ice cream tastes better for some reason, and they have these great sundaes and ices here." His eyes grew distant. Hiroko smacked her head in exasperation.

"Dammit, Ranma!" she said and clapped a hand over her mouth. Apparently she didn't use harsh language very often. "About a year ago, you were in here. My father and my mother were having an argument and my mother walked off to the washroom. When she came back, you were finishing off her ice cream and making eyes at my father."

"What?" Barry said. "I was not!"

"Do. You. Remember. Meeting. My. Father. Here?" Hiroko demanded, staccato.

Barry thought. He ransacked Ranma's memories. He hunted down the various pathways. And came up empty. It was the first time he had done so when really trying. He looked at Hiroko Watanabe and shook his head. "Sorry. I really don't remember it, Hiroko. I might have, I admit. If there was a loose sundae goin' to waste, well... When yer used to eatin' stewed roadkill, the fact that someone nibbled a little..."

"You did what?" she asked horrified.

Barry looked at her uncertainly. He was sure her horror had nothing to do with stolen or conned sundaes. "Hiroko, ya heard the reason that Shampoo and Ukyo are fiancées is because Pops and I ate the wrong things at the wrong time?"

"Huh?"

He sighed. "I really don't wanna go inta all that. All I can say is I mighta done what ya said. I don't really pay much attention ta faces if there's food around."

"How can you live like that?" she asked aghast.

"It's better'n dyin'," he answered simply.

Hiroko Watanabe regarded the young man across from her with extremely mixed emotions. Here was a handsome young man, devilishly so when he smiled and innocently so when his face was grave or sad, which he was at the moment. It occurred to her that it could just be an act. But… She shivered. She was not here to add to the confusion. She reached across and laid her hand on his.

(Crack!)

Hiroko gasped at the suddenly hard expression on Ranma's face and the silk ribbon he had caught in his hand. She looked over her shoulder to meet the eyes of Kodachi Kuno. She gulped.

"'Dachi, she wasn't makin' a pass at me! Knock it off!"

"I'm sorry I cannot agree with you, Ranma-darling. Obviously, she plans to add herself to your following."

"Give her credit for some common sense!" He jerked to get some slack in the ribbon and twitched his wrist, wrapping several loops about the black-clad woman.

"Oh, Ranma! How forceful!"

"Can it, Kodachi," Ranma said. "This is exactly the kinda stuff I was talkin' about. How do ya justify goin' after a little girl like this?" Hiroko scowled at the 'little girl' comment. "She can't defend herself against you. Actin' like this just make ya look like a bully."

"Oh, come now, Ranma. Amazons duel all the time! I've heard Shampoo talk about it often enough."

"Didn't ya read the handbook?" the pigtailed boy retorted. "That's Amazon _warriors_. Hiroko's not a warrior!"

"How long would it take to become one?" Hiroko grated. She really didn't like the way she was being evaluated and would have loved to plant one on Kodachi's sneering face. She had been a bit in awe of Kodachi's grace and poise, but that initial impression was rapidly going down in flames.

"Oh, _pu-lease_! Don't be ridiculous," Kodachi exclaimed, acknowledging Hiroko's existence for the first time. "It takes years of constant practice! The top martial artists in Nerima have trained from the time they could walk! You will never..."

"That's enough, Kodachi," Ranma snapped. Another twitch and the Black Rose spun dizzily like a top. He caught her arm to keep her from tipping over. "After ya get your balance back, meet me at the dojo. We're gonna have a long talk about this... and other things." Turning, he scooped Hiroko up and shot out of the shop like a bullet. It took the girl almost a minute to realize she was being carried over the rooftops of Nerima. She barely stifled a scream.

"How are you doing this... carrying me?"

"Huh? Yer not heavy. I carried my old man. Now that's a load!"

"My bookbag," Hiroko said, looking back the way they had come. She really didn't want to meet Kodachi any time soon.

"I got it," her transportation grunted as he ran up a particularly steep roof. He launched them into space.

"It's like flying," Hiroko squealed, beginning to enjoy the ride. Then they seemed to ricochet off walls and glided across two more rooftops, before landing in a garden. She laughed. She had never enjoyed roller coasters, but she was going to try them again after this.

"Mrs. Morisato and her little sister helped lay this out," Barry said, pointing to the Tendo pond and garden. "This is Akane's house, by the way. The dojo's around the other side."

"Ranma? If you haven't chosen Akane, why do you stay here?" Hiroko asked suddenly.

Barry 'urk'ed and turned, thinking fast. "It's an arranged situation, Hiroko. We weren't asked. First I knew about it was half an hour before I met Akane. I was just a couple a weeks from my dunkin' in Jusenkyo and all I wanted was ta find a cure. I guess things didn't get off to a good start." He ran a hand nervously over the back of his head. He didn't want to get into a situation where he was answering for Ranma or for himself on something like this. "Why don't we go inta the dojo—!" The opening of the shoji interrupted him.

"Oh, Ranma," Kasumi stood in the doorway. "I didn't know you were out here." She saw Hiroko and bowed politely. Hiroko nervously returned the gesture. "Who is your friend?"

"This is Hiroko Watanabe, Kasumi. Hiroko, this is Kasumi Tendo. Kasumi, Amazon Month seems to have turned into 'Date Ranma Days', and Hiroko's ticket was pulled for today." Kasumi sighed at him in exasperation. He hurried on. "Did you have Mr. Watanabe as an instructor when you were in school, Kasumi?" Barry had never seen Kasumi provoked and didn't want to start.

"Why, yes, I did," said Kasumi brightening. "He taught English before Miss Hinako. Is he well, Hiroko-san?"

"Yes, thank you, Kasumi-san." Hiroko looked at her again. "You look an awful lot like Mrs. Morisato. Is she a relative?"

"Thank you, Hiroko, but no, Baradandya Morisato is not a relative. She is sweet and I consider her a friend." Kasumi smiled then waved them in. "Please be welcome in our home. May I fix you some tea?"

"I feel dirty," Hiroko complained as Kasumi went into the kitchen.

"Kami, why?" laughed Barry. "It ain't like she held her nose or asked ya ta take a bath..."

"No. But her little sister is your fiancée and I helped push you into taking the other girls, including me, on dates."

"Hiroko, the dates mean nothin' ta me. There's only three girls with any hold on my honor — Akane, Shampoo and Ukyo."

"What about Kodachi?"

"She sorta glued herself ta me and I can't convince her ta let go."

"Oh."

Barry grinned, then looked distant. "And there she is comin' over the wall to the dojo." Hiroko looked around, trying to see how he was 'seeing' Kodachi.

"You're joking. Aren't you?"

"Nope! She's in the dojo right now."

"Who is, Ranma?" Kasumi inquired, coming back with the tea.

"Kodachi is, Kasumi."

"Oh! I'll make some of those muffins she likes. Could you invite her in, Ranma?" Kasumi turned and headed for the kitchen again. Hiroko gaped after her.

"Kasumi's like that; she's the nicest person in the world. But she ain't a carpet ta walk on. _Nobody_ messes with oneechan here." He rose to his feet. "I'll get Kodachi. Just ignore what she did earlier. Yer safe here. She won't try nothin' around Kasumi."

Kodachi performed a kata of her Art in the center of the dojo. Barry felt the dark roil of her emotions and watched her use of a hoop carefully. Rhythmic Gymnastics is a beautiful demonstration of the flexibility, coordination and strength of the female human body. In many respects, it is unmatched by any other sport in the demands it makes on its performers. The martial arts version of the sport was artificial to Ranma's eyes, but he had nothing to say about the skills it taught its practitioners. With her weapons, she was every bit as lethal as Ukyo and, while Ukyo was faster and tougher, Kodachi had a degree of flexibility approached only by Shampoo. Even Akane admitted that Kodachi moved like silk, and both she and Barry used Kodachi as a template to improve their own flexibility.

Barry watched her cartwheel and spin. The hoop, not her favorite weapon perhaps, seemed to flow with her from side to side, sometimes used like a weird circular club, sometimes a shield she flowed through like water. He noted she was doing her work barefoot, a practice she had only recently begun, her elegant toes occasionally gripping the hoop with dexterity and strength, spinning and tossing it accurately through a routine she had devised herself. Someday, if she got a little saner, he'd like to see what she'd do with nunchuku or Chinese short swords.

Suddenly, her body twisted and the hoop shot horizontally like a huge throwing star, which, with its suddenly protruding saw edge, it was. Barry noted she had flung it while inverted, using her foot as the launching engine. It ripped through the air, through a straw target set at the end of the dojo and sank inches deep into a wooden beam beyond. Barry winced, but applauded as if untroubled. He learned early on that to show concern for her lethal abilities was to encourage her to use them. She finished a smooth backward somersault and rolled to her feet. She smiled and blushed with pleasure, and Barry felt the turmoil in her aura subside. It was too bad it wouldn't last. What she did earlier had to be nipped in the bud.

"Nice work, 'Dachi. Little hard on the dojo though."

Kodachi laughed depreciatingly. "If I must, I must." She walked with him to get the glue and sawdust they mixed to patch wood. After the initial argument, she was quite faithful in repairing damage she caused, even when her own body had been the cause of the damage.

"Where is the little tram—! I mean… the lucky winner?"

Barry got down to business at that point. "Kodachi, that was uncalled for."

"What was?"

"Attackin' Hiroko. She ain't a martial artist, she ain't interested in me and, more important, I ain't interested in her."

"Why did she put her name in then?" snapped Kodachi, yanking her hoop out of its seat in the beam.

"Her father is a former teacher. She wanted ta bawl me out for givin' him a tough time." He met her surprised look and let her run that concept through her mind.

"I've made a fool of myself, haven't I?" Kodachi said, turning away and beginning to apply the sawdust-and-glue filler with strong swipes of an old spatula of Ukyo's Barry liberated. Barry refrained from sighing with relief. Kodachi was a far cry from her original self-justified violence, but still had to be treated with careful applications of positive and negative reinforcement. If only they could find someone for her who could live up to her expectations.

He laid a hand gently on her shoulder. "Kodachi, ya know ya ain't in the runnin' fer me. I said it often enough. Whydja torture yerself like this?"

"Ranma, I treasure every moment I have with you. I wish you felt the same way about me," she said, smoothing the patch she had made. "It is so hard when I watch you with the others. When my name failed to turn up in the lottery..." A single tear ran down her cheek.

"Kodachi," Barry did sigh then, "part a the problem is that yer so damn sneaky I don't know if yer showin' me yer heart or fakin' it again. But ya just can't do this any more. Someone'll get hurt or killed, the way you play, and not even the Kuno name will keep ya from payin' the legal price."

"Do you worry about me so much?" Kodachi said dramatically.

"I worry about everyone, 'Dachi." Barry said. "And if yer gonna try to hurt or kill anyone who touches me, I'm gonna hafta gift wrap ya for Sasuke and Dr. Whosit. I don't wanna do that, especially if he's as big a jerk as he seems. But if yer gonna hurt people who can't defend themselves, I gotta."

"I understand." Kodachi's eyes were on the floor.

"Kasumi's makin' muffins." Barry said softly.

Her eyes came up suddenly, startled.

"If yer nice to Hiroko, help with homework maybe, ya can stay fer dinner."

"So that's it," Kodachi said looking at him down her nose. "You don't want to be shown lacking in your scholarly pursuits." She turned and marched into the house. "And you call _me_ sneaky!"

Barry followed along, just to be sure, and hoped Kodachi hadn't figured out that he was trying to find ways for her to interact with her peers instead of intimidating them.

As Kodachi marched down the hall and past the entryway, Akane came in the front door.

"Good afternoon, Tendo," Kodachi said pausing.

"Good afternoon... Kodachi, what are _you_ doing here?"

"I followed Ranma-darling home. Can he keep me?"

"What? No, he can't! I thought he was out with the Watanabe girl?"

"Well, I _was_, "said Barry, following Kodachi in, "but I got a little nervous about goin' to Hiroko's house. I think Mr. Watanabe had enough of me when he taught us in school."

"Oh, _that_ Watanabe," Akane said, her hand clapping over her mouth. She glanced suspiciously at Kodachi who smiled too innocently. "You were trying to break up the date, weren't you?" she accused.

"Guilty!" sang out the Black Rose as she passed into the main room.

Akane glowered after her.

"It went better'n expected," Barry said quietly. "But I figured it'd be safer ta bring her here, so no one could say I was up ta somethin'."

Akane turned, looked at him and guiltily turned away.

"Too bad yer name wasn't picked, tomboy," Barry said. "It woulda given me a break..."

"I... didn't put my name in," she muttered, her eyes on the floor.

Barry looked at Akane and dropped out of Ranma's character. "Do you want to talk about it, sweetheart?"

"I... No. Yes! I don't know."

"How about tonight on the roof," Barry suggested, "after everyone's gone home?"

* * *

_**Journal: Ranma's Guest — Tuesday, 01 October 1991- Day 38**_

_Wow! What a day!_

_Ryoga's parents showed up. I think it's the first time they've all been in one place in six years. The hot water tank was broken, so I helped clean things up and found something interesting in the process. Did you know Ryoga's rich? I don't just mean he's well off. I mean his immediate family could buy the Kunos about five or six times over! All of their stuff is in investments handled by trusted long-term firms. How do I know? The hot water tank flooded the storage area where they kept their old records. True, my information is about ten years out of date, but what I saw is awful hard to disperse when the whole family wanders around all the time. Lord! If Nabiki finds out, she'll be after him for sure! I really wish I didn't need to write this down, but I promised I would faithfully record everything of significance, in case you couldn't remember what happened when you weren't here._

_Let's see: Mrs. Morisato did something funny with ki and fried Principal Kuno. It was also the first day of Amazon Month. The 'Council' decided to require Ranma to chose one fiancée or date all comers. Since they invoked your mother's name I went along and chose to date all comers. I don't want to choose for you, even if I do know whom you would choose. The first, today, was Hiroko Watanabe, Watanabe-sensei's daughter? She wanted to chew you out about an incident with ice cream..._

Barry sat on his futon and detailed what he surmised about the incident.

_Apparently, Mrs. Watanabe thought her husband was trying to pick up a student and very nearly divorced him over the incident. Hiroko nearly ran afoul of Kodachi, who was acting jealous again. The Black Rose is getting better, but still has her moments. I spoke firmly with her and then with the others, just to be sure we were on the same page. I visited the Watanabe's once it was clear we weren't going to be attacked by one of them and spoke with Mrs. Watanabe, demonstrating your curse and explaining that we're just not interested that way. She slapped me; a good, solid right cross that Akane would have been proud of, and ranted at me for nearly ruining their marriage. We are, of course forbidden ever to see their daughter again, so I didn't have to worry about dodging a good night kiss, even if Hiroko had wanted to give one._

_Akane is having trouble with all this. She put in a blank entry because she couldn't bring herself to 'date' me, not that I blame her. It would have given me a safe night; but what's done is done. _

_We talked about her fears. Apparently, Ukyo wasn't quite as good a confidant as we might have hoped. She's deathly afraid I mean to take your body and strand you wherever you are. She keeps feeding Akane's doubts. Ryoga is a good listener; but as a reassuring presence, he's less than ideal. He doesn't dare offer a shoulder, in case Akane misunderstands... or he does. I don't think he's quite over Akane yet, mostly because Akari, sweet as she is, just doesn't really click with him. I'm working dinner rush at Ucchan's. Your mom's covering the lunch rush, now that Konatsu is handling the yatai at the university. More about that later. _

_Anyway, I ended up promising to draw some pictures of my family for Akane and she ended up crying on my shoulder. I hope that you either read this or have full memory, so you understand my motivations and hers. Don't stick your foot in it, okay? All I did was lend a shoulder; all she did was cry and work out some of her fears. We haven't had a chance to do that since all the gang got involved in the ki-thing. Our nightmares have been interesting. Akane has a pole beside her door now, too. It's much safer than shaking her out of a bad one._

_Her biggest fear is that you won't come back. Her second biggest one is, I think, that you'll have taken the opportunity to gain some 'worldly experience' and won't care for her anymore. There, I can't help her. I don't believe you'll take advantage of the situation, but you also hate to confide. My wife can be very persuasive, as I'm sure you've found out, if you haven't told her you are there. Worse for Akane, though I haven't told her, is that Gwen is very similar in many respects to Ukyo. On my end, maybe it's a good thing Ukyo is hostile; reduces temptation. _

_Please! I hope you haven't broken up my marriage. I can forgive practically anything else. _

_Also! Maybe I should suggest to Akane that she write letters to you as if you were in another town visiting. It might help to reduce her depression at the daily delays._

_Oh, yes… We will get you back. Baka!_


	40. Like The Wind

**Guest Ki: Chapter 39**

_**Like the Wind**_

Ranma was exhausted. It wasn't that Barry's work was difficult; Barry's body was well adapted to the schedule. It was the nights. Gwen kept encroaching. It was unnerving. He would start out on his side, a heating pad against his back for appearance's sake, and within an hour after he got in bed, she would be resting her back against his. An hour later, she would be half-draped over him. If he fell asleep, he would soon be draped over her. He also discovered that you didn't have to be awake to respond to affectionate advances.

Ranma had been dreaming when his thoughts turned to Akane. He had had a few good dreams himself, about his 'un-cute' fiancée, having her smiling at him with that smile of hers and feeling her hand stroke across his chest, as he wished she would do. The hand steadily moved lower and his dream began to have '_lime_'tints to it. He strove for control. It was through control he had managed to retain his honor and refuse to respond to Shampoo and Kodachi's advances. It was through control that one aspect of his girl-type's nervous system was largely unexplored territory. It was through control he kept from betraying to everyone just where his feelings lay when it would have signed Akane's death warrant. His control was really lacking tonight. Both he and Barry practiced control even in their dreams, a necessity when those dreams regularly involved all senses in full color. That phantom hand was really, _really_ beginning to get a response. Akane smiled and pressed closer, began to nibble at his earlobe. Ranma turned and inadvertently Akane's toenail, on the foot beginning to caress his calf, jabbed his leg, bringing a sharp little jolt of pain to the dream. Ranma Saotome suddenly realized it wasn't entirely a dream.

"_Ow_! Oh, crap! Damn that hurts," he howled. He rolled away from those tempting sensations and strove to figure out what to do next. Gwen surged up in the bed.

"What! What? What's wrong?" she agonized.

He felt like a heel. "Oooh, man!" Ranma rolled to a sitting position and slumped there, as if afraid to move. He jerked when she touched his back lightly. "Sorry, Gwen. I got a bad twinge there."

"You sounded like you were being killed! Are you all right?"

"I guess. I think I turned the wrong way or something."

"Maybe we should go back to the doctor," Gwen said. Turning on the bedside lamp, she regarded what she thought was her husband in the dim light it cast. "Just to be sure."

"Oh, I'll be all right," he replied. Actually, he had trouble believing that. He seemed to have lost the Nekoken and he suspected it might be a critical component to returning home. With Barry being a cat lover, he would never activate the Nekoken unless he somehow found something he feared as much. Unlike himself, Barry seemed to be a fairly well adjusted man. His best hope, Ranma decided, was to contact an expert in ki in this world and hope they knew enough to start him in the right direction.

Gwen glanced at the clock and sighed. "It's just about time to get up anyway." She flung back her long brown hair and slid the strap of her nightgown back up her shoulder. Then Barry's wife turned a very hot look on the bed's other occupant. "And just when things were getting... _interesting_," she purred.

"You mean painful," Ranma corrected. He winced at her crestfallen look. "Hey, it won't be forever," he consoled and really felt bad. What if it was? "At least your sister's schedule lets Brendan sleep in, instead of packing him along with us every morning." Gwen's older sister also lived in the house but was gone at work most of the day. "Getting a seven year old up at 4:30 A.M. is ridiculous!"

"Let's get this over with." She swung out of bed and Ranma let Barry's body slide into the morning routine. He had never considered how instinctive some things were. Of course, with his lifestyle, only in the last two years had he begun to develop routines at all, aside from martial arts. They dressed, ate breakfast and Gwen drove him to work.

Bob was still out of town and his wife obviously didn't want to loan books from his library without asking him. Ranma, disgruntled, went through the daily duties. It was a slow day. In part, this was due to the fact that Ranma no longer tried to avoid the cats. Things went too smoothly. He was used to turmoil, opportunities to exercise his skills. He cleaned stalls, fed and watered the horses, repaired stalls and looked over the list of extra things to do. All the time, as he had for three days now, he tested and pushed at this body's ability to augment or project ki. So far, he hadn't even managed a spark. He could feel things, but it was as if the entire body was imbedded in glue. He was, frankly, getting discouraged. He managed the healing trick, but that needed to be realigned every day. He had to fight for every inch then sink his fingers in and claw for more. He wasn't even sure yet whether he was making progress. Then, at mid-day, when he went up to the loft to throw down the hay, he noticed Mary walking quickly over to the third aisle.

"Hey, Mary! Could you check to see if there are any cats in the hay chute?" It was common for many of the cats to jump into the bin at the bottom of the chute when they wanted a soft warm bed to lie on. A forty to sixty pound bale could do the little animals serious injury, so it was procedure to ask someone to clear the landing zone.

"Gotta wait, Barry," came her reply. "Bob asked me to give Shantz his medicine every day, and I have to do it before he eats." Shantz, an older bay gelding, belonged to a couple that rode maybe five or six times a year. Calm and steady, he developed an irregular case of colic they were treating with a medicine administered in honey to hide the taste. The horse thought it was a treat.

Ranma leaned over the edge of the chute and looked for cats. There were at least five in plain view. He threw some handfuls of hay at them but all that happened were twitching ears as they ignored him. Ranma grumbled to himself. He really didn't want to go all the way down there, but...

Mary shrieked. Ranma's head snapped up. An odd, thrashing sound was coming from the back of the third aisle. "Barry, I need help!" came her cry.

From his vantage in the loft, he saw what was wrong. Perhaps the horse had reared and struck at the animal in the stall next to it. Perhaps Mary had startled the animal, though he was normally fairly calm. The result was the entrapment of the horse's front legs by its iron-shod hooves, the mesh of the fence jammed between hoof and shoe to hold the horse in an odd, outstretched position. Moments later, Ranma slid into the stall, and ducked under the horse. Pressing his shoulders against its chest, he strained and took the weight off the animal's legs.

"Try to unhook the shoes," he gasped. Mary pushed upward on the back of the hooves. The horse, unconcerned now as Ranma was supporting its weight, brought its head down and snorted in his face. "Real funny, Shantz!" He pushed up more strongly and felt the animal rise. Mary managed to unhook the right shoe. The leg swung back to vertical but remained off the floor of the stall by some six inches. Finally, she got the other shoe unhooked and Ranma squatted, letting the horse resume carrying its own weight. He ducked out from under the animal and leaned against the side of the stall. Shantz seemed unconcerned. The left shoe was pulled partly off.

"We hafta get hold of Bob, Mary. That shoe has ta come off and we gotta check ta see if this lamed him at all." It was only then he realized they had an audience.

Bob looked at them critically. "What is going on here?"

Ranma huffed and nodded to Mary. She would have seen the cause of it, after all.

"I was giving Shantz his medicine and Parody, the mare in the stall beside Shantz, ran her teeth over the screen." Bob nodded impatiently. The horses often did this as an intimidation tactic to other horses. It was harmless, in itself, but produced a terrific stick-on-picket-fence racket. "Shantz put his ears back, reared up and waved his feet at her. I never saw him do that before!" She was close to tears. "His feet got stuck in the screen and I yelled for help. Then Barry came and…" She suddenly looked at Ranma as if seeing a kappa or other unusual beast. "…Barry came and picked Shantz up high enough to let me unhook his shoes."

Ranma found himself the focus of two sets of eyes. "I couldn't see any other way of getting him loose. The last I saw the wire cutters, they were over at your house," he said shrugging. "I couldn't leave him just hang there."

"Why didn't you call for help?" Bob demanded.

Barry met the other's eyes with a look that was rapidly growing cold despite the heat of the day. "Your wife called half an hour ago and said she was going to the store. Your daughters haven't been around all day. You, as far as I knew, weren't back yet!" He glared back now feeling very misused. "Just _whom _was I supposed to call?"

"You should have tried to call before you came over," Bob insisted. "Where were you when this happened?"

Ranma pointed to the loft.

Bob turned back to him with an almost smug look on his face. "You would have had to come down the stairs, right past the phones. You should have..."

"I didn't come down the stairs," Ranma protested, realizing, even as he spoke, that this was strictly true. He hadn't used the stairs to the loft. "I jumped."

Bob stared at him as if he were crazy.

"You... jumped? You're just getting back from your fall and you're jumping down fifteen feet? If you are not more careful, I will have to fire you."

"I... _saved_... that... horse!" Ranma snarled. "If Shantz stayed that way much longer, he woulda broke a leg or yanked his muscles all outa whack. I made sure that didn't happen and I have _yet_ to hear a 'thank you'." Ranma slid out of the stall. "I also haven't heard why the horse you promised I would train was sold without even telling me. Talk about calling! You have my number."

"Don't forget yourself! It was my horse and I will sell my horses when I feel like it."

Ranma felt his fists tighten. "Yes, Buddy was your horse. But _I_ was training him. You could have let me know."

Bob waved dismissively. The gesture was easy to interpret — 'I do what I want here.' "Watch your step, Barry! You are skating on thin ice!" He turned and walked away, stopping in the cross aisle to glance down at something on the ground. He looked back to where Ranma stood with Mary and then hurried on.

"Jerk," Ranma said under his breath.

"You should just walk out on him," Mary said, incensed. "It would serve him right."

Ranma let out a long cleansing breath. "That would be quitting, and quitting is not my style." He walked over to where Bob had looked down.

There, deeply and clearly imprinted in the hard dirt floor of the aisle-way, was the imprint of his boots set side by side. He looked up to the loft. He had been standing right up there, when Mary had called, fifteen feet up... and nearly forty feet away. Suddenly, despite Bob, despite everything else that day, he felt like smiling. He had it back, his ki-techniques! Now, he could really begin to try to get back home.

'I'm comin,' Akane!' he thought exultantly. Somehow, it felt as if she answered him.

* * *

"Okay... Here's where we stand. The scroll Ryoga turned up detailed in part, how to isolate and treat the various layers of the aura for purposes of spiritual healing." Barry ticked off the list of concepts they would be using in this latest attempt to return Ranma to his own body. "Akane believes, using residuals from some locks of his hair cut before I came and clothing I haven't used, that she has managed to work out Ranma's ki signature. Along with the technique she developed for tracking people, we're going to try to at least contact Ranma." 

They were using the Tendo garden, both because of the nice weather and because it was enjoyable yet calming to sit there. Soun and Genma had taken to kneeling just at the water's edge as they talked. And Kasumi, when she fed the koi, would often seat herself beside the pond as well. The fathers had set up a Shogi game there one evening, only to discover they were very uncomfortable cheating within the geography of the garden. As this was an integral part of their game strategy, Shogi, Go and Mahjong were moved back to the porch. While they played, the rest of the family enjoyed the garden's virtues undisturbed.

Now, in a circle around Barry sat Ryoga, Ukyo and Akane. Ryoga seemed calm and unconcerned, Akane was excited and pensive, Ukyo was thoughtful and watchful but the garden seemed to diminish her animosity considerably. "Obviously, Ranma's body and organ functions have remained the same. We think Ranma's astral layer went with him as, obviously, did his mind." Ukyo nodded, as did the others. This seemed a reasonable set of assumptions. "Where we have trouble is at the level of the soul. I have difficulty believing the soul could be separated from the mind. I feel that, at least while we're alive, the mind holds the same relationship to the soul as the organ functions do to the body. I admit that I have no evidence to support that belief and it could spring from my Judeo-Christian upbringing." Akane shifted nervously.

"Akane feels that Ranma's soul is still attached to this body. Either that, or Ranma and I have souls so nearly identical that she can't tell the difference, and I have trouble believing _that_!" Ukyo nodded, while Ryoga simply frowned and absorbed what was said. "In astral projection, there is a lot of talk about a silver thread that extends from the body to the projection. Notice, by the way, Ryoga, that almost all of the literature in aura projection deals only with astral events? It is the one unpaired level in the body." Ryoga nodded absently. He had been investigating a few things, himself. His oddly organized aura still puzzled not only Barry and Akane, but Cologne as well. "What we plan to do is resonate the soul layer in the hopes of finding a similar thread or other mechanism that links to wherever Ranma's mind is. Akane will be scanning me in an attempt to at least recognize that we can reach him."

"Why Akane?" Ukyo said finally. The saving grace was that there was no accusation in her words, only questioning.

"So far, Akane is the only person we can trust who can do the tracking business," Barry answered. "I haven't been able to duplicate it, nor has Ryoga. Mousse can do it, if he's _real _familiar with the pattern he's looking for, but it's an effort. Cologne can't... or says she can't. Shampoo obviously can't. You can't, Ukyo, because you dropped out of the ki-training when you found out about me." Ukyo flushed and thrust out her chin belligerently. "I'm not criticizing you, Ukyo, just pointing out facts," Barry sighed. "Ryoga, you watch from outside. Akane's going to use me as a radio receiver to see if we can reach him. Then we'll..."

"Nihau!" Shampoo and Mousse came around the side of the dojo. Ryoga nodded and glanced at Barry while Akane froze. They quickly tried to come to an unspoken agreement over how they should handle this. Naturally, it fell to Barry.

"Hi, Shampoo, Mousse. What're you doing here so early?"

It was the first full week of Amazon month and the dates were the weirdest assortment imaginable of perverts, gossips and other maladjusted girls and guys. Barry had gently beaten three jealous boyfriends and avoided two attempts to get him into bed. And when he wasn't dealing with strange girls and their plans...

"Is Wednesday. Always slow. Grandmother say can leave early." Shampoo knelt down, joining the circle and basking in the sense of comfort the garden gave. "What airen and others doing?"

...Shampoo or Kuno or Kodachi would drop in, to inadvertently delay their search for Ranma. Shampoo was far less unwelcome than she had been in the past. Now the only persons Barry needed to avoid glomps from were Tatewaki or Happosai. Today, Shampoo was wearing a deep red silk dress with white and violet flowers. Mousse wore light blue with the black diamond patterns that seemed to be a symbol of his art.

"Shampoo," Barry said significantly. He was beginning to suspect that her mangling of the language was a deliberate ploy for attention. She stuck out her tongue but spoke again.

"All right! (sigh!) It is Wednesday. Business is always slow on Wednesdays. My Grandmother said we could leave early and come over to see how your date was going." She huffed then winked. "Is okay?"

"Better," Barry smiled. "As fer me, my date fer today was afraid to go out with me. I think her friends made her put her name in. So anyway, she lets me walk her home, then jumped through the door and locked it in my face. I guess it coulda been worse." He gestured to the others. "Since my date's not around, I figured we could do some research, and here we are."

Mousse cleaned his specs on his sleeve, but placed them up on his head. He had greater confidence these days and kept the pair of glasses only for reading purposes. The confidence showed in his bearing and in his approach to Shampoo. He didn't glomp or follow her desperately around. He was a supportive presence and Shampoo obviously liked that. To Barry's eyes, Shampoo and Mousse were becoming closer. He hoped that some day, they might become something more. "What are you researching, Saotome?" asked Mousse.

Ranma's guest hesitated. It wouldn't hurt for them to observe. "We're tryin' ta see if there's a link between the mind and the soul. I mean, the body needs the... humors, or organ function levels. I think the mind is linked with the soul the same way. It might explain why the astral is so significant in ki-techniques."

"As it might act as a mediator between the reality we perceive and the reality we aspire to," finished Mousse.

"Shampoo saw a scroll about that when studying magic with Great-grandmother in China. Don't remember what say, but I think it about links like that," the Amazon offered.

Barry looked about and shrugged. Akane took his hands.

"Why Akane do that?" Shampoo wanted to know, the 'little green monster' rearing up slightly.

"Better contact, Shampoo. Ryoga is watchin' the forest, Akane is watchin' the tree. Hopefully, between the two, we can come up with some answers."

"Mousse, help Akane watch tree. Make sure she no scuff bark," Shampoo said pertly. Akane flushed and began to retort.

"No problem. Mousse, if ya don't mind holdin' hands, just put them above and below. Yeah, like that." Akane shot him a worried look but he smiled reassuringly. Mousse was not likely to understand what he was seeing.

He quickly centered himself, dropping into the mindset that allowed easy access to the ki techniques. He began the process of separating the levels for observation. It was important not to isolate the layers as Barry did on his first attempt to find Ranma with nearly tragic results.

"It almost looks like a diffraction grating," Mousse observed, equating the results of his actions to a physics experiment with light. "Where do you plan to start?"

"Here," Barry said, pulsing the outermost levels. "We're lookin' to see where levels link up. We experimented a little with astral projection and there's a thread, sorta, that links back to anchors in body and soul, and it seems to share in all the other layers. I wanna see what happens if we vibrate or excite the energy levels of mind and soul."

There was a long moment of silence. Mousse shifted uneasily and commented, "This feels a little like a séance. The Elders discourage them."

"Any idea why?" asked Barry. Mousse's statement made him nervous. His own research had warned him that séances could attract dangerous influences, but had been unclear about the type or how to deal with them. If what he was doing was a séance or like one...

"The usual; evil kami, demons, unfriendly spirits. According to the Elders, you should have a Guide, a Goal and…" He thought a moment, then shrugged slightly. "I don't really know. Séances are mostly woman's magic. They don't let men in on it, really."

"Shampoo," Barry asked softly, maintaining his level of concentration but becoming wary, "can you add anything?"

"No. Only know Great-grandmother say very dangerous. Séance is a spiritual search. But there are other things besides spirits. Is why séance needs special treatment. Even prepared, it dangerous. Might attract hunters."

"Hunters?"

"Yes. Hunt spirits between worlds, always hungry. They called oni in Japanese. Many types; all full of hunger for ones who remember world. Should have holy object or special prayers to keep away."

"How pleasant," Mousse quipped, pale.

"I feel something," Akane said.

"Shall I break off?" Barry asked.

"No. Just let me listen."

Barry stopped the vibration of his outer levels and sat still. Had Akane located Ranma?

"Barry, something's coming!" Ryoga exclaimed. He could feel something.

Tears suddenly rolled down Akane's cheeks, yet she was smiling. Barry dared to hope.

Then a directionless wind struck down on them, a vertical tornado of power that flattened the waters of the pond and drove out from the three holding hands. Instinctively, Barry raised his arms and yelped as six welts suddenly sprang up on his arm like the brand of whiplash. Mousse and Akane were knocked sprawling. Shampoo, Ukyo and Ryoga sprang to their feet.

"What is it?" Ryoga yelled above the whistling wind.

Barry yelped again and crouched as something felt like it sliced across his stomach. Using his ki vision, he could barely make out a dim, red shadow that moved in and out at him like a shark in a feeding frenzy. It was difficult to pinpoint its size and distance. As it arced above him, he unleashed a ki blast, but the attack did little to disturb the attacker. A blow like a trip-hammer flattened him, making him wonder why he had ever complained about the tomboy's mallet.

Ukyo leapt and struck, her heavy spatula cleaving the air ineffectually.

Akane also fought back, unleashing a series of ki-enhanced strikes where she thought the threat was, but to no avail. It must have had some effect, though for the form turned on her and welts rose on her blocking arms, as a dimly seen form screamed in her face with a whistling roar.

Barry saw the attack and accessed Nekoken, searching for some counter to the thing's attacks. Three quick swipes that bisected the air before her face seemed to drive the thing away from Akane. He set himself between the circling thing and the gasping Akane. She desperately shook her hands in an attempt to make them useable again.

"We need a holy object! Something to drive this thing away," yelled Mousse above the shrill scream of wind that sprang up again. He yelped and dove behind Barry as it went for him. Shampoo and Ukyo made for the house but were bowled over by gusts that shook the building. Neko-claws flashed, but the attacker's odd spatial presence made it difficult to track or strike.

Barry's mind was racing. He didn't know of any holy objects on the property. Happosai's little collection could hardly be described as holy, unless he had a kami's underwear, somehow. As for prayer, Barry felt that his creator expected him to deal with problems he got himself into, with the talents and tools he had available. The Nekoken worked, sort of, but was not conclusive. This thing might well kill someone before he struck a telling blow. He needed something else, and suddenly he had an idea.

His shields snapped up in a defensive globe. He was not surprised when it did not stop the thing's attack. He twisted in pain; feeling ripping claws at his back. A blast of heat roared as Akane attempted a ki blast. He staggered to his feet and tried to remember the characteristics of a very special attack he had seen just the day before. Suddenly, something clicked and he was filled with remorse and guilt and, conversely, with exultation and joy. Every fault and sin and act that he had ever committed bore down on him with appalling clarity. Every deed and thought of love and truth and caring uplifted him. He froze, caught in balance between deed and misdeed. Sensing his confusion, the spiritual predator struck. Barry barely retained enough presence of mind to react.

The shield pulsed out like the core of an explosion, taking its load of self-awareness with it. Caught in mid-leap, the red thing shriveled like a dry leaf in a flame, turning in upon itself. Seconds later, a cool breeze riffled the water in the pond and tickled at the hair and clothing of six rag-covered teenagers. The cyclonic blast had laid them all out. Shampoo, furthest from the blast, shifted and moaned, dragging herself painfully to her feet. She checked the others before stumbling into the house to place a desperate call to the Nekohanten.

* * *

"Son-in-law, I'm curious. Do you have a death wish? Are you insane? Or are you simply extremely stupid?"

Barry blinked, closed his eyes and then opened them again. He winced. Having an angry Cologne staring you in the eye from a distance of ten centimeters was not conducive to serenity, but after what he had just been through, she ranked on his threat list as 'approaching inconsequential'. He rose groaning to a sitting position. Activating his ki-vision, he used sight and ki to check his surroundings.

Mousse sat inscrutably by the big table, reading a scroll. His robes were stained and torn, but he seemed unharmed. Akane sat shivering under a heavy blanket, sipping a cup of tea, courtesy of Kasumi. Ukyo sat nearby looking frazzled. Her tough okonomiyaki uniform was largely intact, but her hair was going to be hell to brush out. She sat to Akane's right, while Shampoo sat between Mousse and Akane dividing her attention between pointing to lines of characters on the scroll and making certain Akane's cup remained full and her shoulders covered. Shampoo's silk dress had lost a shoulder and was shredded from waist to hem.

"Stupid, I think," Barry said. He groaned again and rubbed his arm. The visible welts were fading but the arm felt _wrong_.

"I want to know how you chased off or destroyed a soul-hunter! You had no guardian, no holy object, no prayers." Cologne was really pissed, but puzzled. "You had no business doing any of what you were doing without experienced spiritual guidance!"

Barry nodded absently, his eyes elsewhere. Akane seemed to be having trouble holding onto the cup, her hands and fingers stiff and heavy. He rose to his feet, ignoring the little Amazon and staggered over to her, lifting the cup from between her fingers and uncovering her arms.

"Young man," Cologne growled. "I want answers this time. You are too much of a loose canon. How can I expect to trust..." She subsided, realizing she was being ignored.

Akane's welts had faded as well, but her arms were icy cold and retained the impression of his fingers as if they were made of soft wax. Barry sought the lines of ki and growled. It was as if a bomb had blown out the middle of a dock, and the pieces furthest to sea were in danger of washing away. He dropped himself behind the shivering girl and roughly pulled her into his lap. More worrisome; she didn't object.

"What you do?" Shampoo, startled, did object. Ukyo, suddenly aware, growled and reached for her spatula.

"Shut up and back off," Barry growled. He had no idea what he was going to do but something had to be done now. He shut his eyes and brought his hands up under hers and began to disassociate himself from Ranma's body. His ki overlapped Akane's damaged aura. He cursed to himself. His was damaged just as severely. "Cold water," he muttered thickly.

Water splashed and Barry went girl. Girl-type was also damaged. The advantage here was that, in large, she could place her ki and Akane's in comparison. She found she could draw ki from one broken end to another, much the way a finger could link two drops of water on a plate of glass. She linked broken ends and began encouraging Akane to help.

"C'mon, Akane, pay attention. Use yer ki-vision. See? It's easy," she murmured. "That's it. If you need a map, use my left arm there. Uh-huh, like that."

"What's going on?" Ukyo asked with a twisted expression. She looked like she was about to bash the pigtailed girl. Yet she couldn't quite justify it. Barry obviously wasn't groping Akane and Akane _had_ been looking bad.

Cologne shook her head. "Son-in-law is adapting to meet a another challenge. Akane was seriously injured by the gaki-oni. He's repairing the damage it caused. It looks as if she won't lose her arms now."

Ukyo's spatula clattered on the floor.

Cologne glanced around. "Since Ranma is proving so flexible, was anyone else hurt?" The others shook their heads. Mousse was watching Ranma work with his own ki-vision. She decided to interrogate him. "Mousse, you were part of the working. What ever possessed you to let them do this?"

"Woman's magic," Mousse said indifferently. "I didn't really know what they were doing till just before the demon came in. It's not like Ranma said, 'Let's do a séance.' He was exploring the characteristics of the outer levels of his ki. Akane and I were just observing."

"Mousse try warn Ranma, Grandmother. So did I, but demon come right away. No time to stop summoning. Ranma fight demon, then use ball of light to kill it."

"That's Ranma for you," Cologne growled. "What an idiot." She glanced at the two girls embraced front to back. "A lucky idiot. One with a lot of answering to do."

They watched as the pair began to glow, and gasped as Ranma dropped straight over backward and Akane slumped forward. Akane immediately turned and carefully examined the short curvy form with eyes and ki. As her hands passed over the body, bits of shirt crumbled to dust and sifted away, leaving ragged cuts, like claw slices, in the fabric. She rolled the limp body over and did the same on Barry's back, then shifted back on her shins with a sigh of relief.

"He managed to heal me and himself at the same time," she whispered. She reached wearily across the table to the teapot and poured a small amount of tea into the red hair. For long moments after the change occurred, he lay there breathing evenly but unmoving.

"Owie," muttered the young man suddenly. His eyes blinked open. He looked at Akane then grinned in that 'of course I did it' way of his. Cologne gave into temptation and smacked him over the head with her staff. "Wadja do that for?" he yelped.

"An idiot boy hung out a 'free lunch' sign for a demon," cackled Cologne, "then rang the dinner bell. Why else do you think?" She sidled over. She shook her head. "Son-in-law, you continually surprise me. You summoned a demon without wards or protection of any kind, endangering everyone. Then you swept the thing away in a moment. When I saw your injuries, I expected you and Akane to be crippled for life, at the very least. You proceed to get up and repair that damage, then sit up and sass me as if the worst you did was get caught with your hand in the cookie jar!" She brandished her staff again. "I want answers, so spill!"

Barry shrugged.

"I learned Nekoken could hurt it, but it was hard to find just where it was ta hit it." Barry sipped some tea and nodded thanks to Shampoo. Akane was rubbing her hands, which had gone to pins-and-needles. "It didn't seem to move in the real world. I think I coulda beat it eventually with Nekoken, but I was worried it might start goin' fer the others. I could tell Akane was hurtin' and I wasn't feelin' too good, either." He sipped again and shifted on his haunches. "Then somethin' made me think of what Mrs. Morisato did to Principal Kuno. So, I threw up my shield to buy time to figure how to duplicate it. It went right through the shield, of course."

"Not surprising. Those creatures do not, properly speaking, move in three dimensional space." Cologne watched him with lidded eyes.

"I remembered that the ki blast she hit him with carried certain kinds of emotions, so I pumped the emotions and power into the shield and expanded it explosively when it attacked again. A kinda Kachu Tenshin Amiguritate (Chestnuts roasting on an open fire defense). The oni, or whatever, shriveled like a bug in a zapper." He sighed shakily. "I still ain't sure how I did it and it ain't somethin' I wanna do again, neither."

"We'll talk of that later. I suggest you talk to Mrs. Morisato if you used her... technique. It was really a form of prayer and there might be repercussions for using it without permission." Cologne seemed uneasy for a moment.

"I'll apologize first thing," Barry said. He really didn't want mixed up in some other religion, no matter how effective it was. He noticed that Mousse was ignoring the discussion again and had gone back to reading the scroll.

Cologne smiled and pointed to the scroll Mousse was reading. "Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung brought this just after Mousse and Shampoo left the Nekohanten. It's a copy of the Scroll of Binding."

"The scroll that shows what happened to Shampoo?" Barry exclaimed. "That's great!" Then some of Ranma 's memories hedged a bit. "Ahhh... They went straight home, right?"

Her eyes narrowed and she chuckled. "They're staying ...to get special training from their great-grandmother, of course. You'd be surprised how much change a year can make."

"I'm sure," Barry said shuddering. He wasn't sure what he thought of having those two maniacs around, but if Cologne was training them, they wouldn't have time to get into much trouble. "Mousse, what's the first read like?"

"Still in progress, Ranma." He adjusted his glasses. "It's an uncommon dialect." He pointed to a word and Shampoo shrugged. He turned the scroll to Cologne.

"It means 'intrusion without passing through'," she said. "A very uncommon symbol."

"Ghost fingers?" Barry interpolated.

"Close enough," Cologne grinned. "This may take a little while to translate and study. I hope you don't mind if Shampoo's sisters go with you to the competition. I want them to stay here till we can use this information."

"Oh, joy! We gotta baby-sit the twin techno-twerps?"

"We hear that, Ranma!" a pair of voices rang out in anger. Two forms moved out of the kitchen and advanced on him. Instead of weapons, they carried food, but were no less threatening. Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung had indeed changed in the past year. They were taller and their hair was styled like Shampoo's. The tight silk mini-dresses were Shampoo-esque, as well, and displayed figures that might soon challenge their older sister's.

"We no need babysitters," said Ling-Ling.

"But maybe you need doctor after we through with you," added Lung-Lung crossly.

"Cross of Destiny Double Attack!" they chorused, placing the trays down and teaming up to face him. Barry boggled and leaped. No way he was going to try to beat these two, wacko Amazons.

Shampoo screeched as their initial attack carried them into the far wall. "You leave airen alone!" Shampoo's training both under Cologne and against Akane the past few weeks came into play. The twins were hog-tied in seconds.

"Shampoo get fast," gulped Ling-Ling.

"Shampoo mad at us," cried Lung-Lung.

"Shampoo tell you right now no 'kiss of death' or 'marriage' while here!" Shampoo decreed.

"Awww!"

"Big sister mean."

"By the way," Barry broke in after peeling himself out of the rafters, "I've been curious. Are you guys Shampoo's blood-related sisters or just sister Amazons?"

"Blood sister," Ling-Ling said.

"Half-sisters," admitted Lung-Lung, who smiled at Shampoo. "Shampoo ready share yet?"

"No!"

"Spoil sport."

"Either no one's told them about the flaw in the training, or they really are airheads," Ukyo decided. Twin gazes turned on the okonomiyaki chef.

"You very fortunate we tied up, Ukyo Kuonji," Ling-Ling said.

"We Amazon princesses of the moon. You have shown disrespect and so we shall punish you," Lung-Lung added. Ukyo walked over and squatted down.

"My, my," she said smiling, "The sailor-sensei appear in so many places."

As the two boggled at Ukyo, Cologne groaned and gripped her staff tighter. "I am really going to have a long talk with their father," she said in an aggrieved tone.

* * *

A tapping sounded on her window. Akane blinked, looked up and saw the dark form behind the glass. She rose to her knees and opened the window. Before the form could ask its question, she said, "_Yes_!"

A raised finger froze; a mouth gaped then shut. Hands went to hips in an inverted expression of disgust. "If the other girls heard you say that, they'da had a whole litter of kittens," came the irritated tones. "I was gonna ask ya what ya thought of Shampoo's sisters. I can't see how they can be younger sisters yet still in the direct Amazon line. 'Yes' to what?"

"Yes! I felt Ranma!"

Barry froze again. "You did?"

"Yes!" she said. He could see, now, the tears trickling down her cheeks. "I think I can hope again, Barry!"

Barry reached out and squeezed her hands. "All _right_! It was worth it then. Not that I'd try that again without appropriate precautions, but..."

"You're babbling," she laughed. "I think he felt me, too. I hope so!"

"First steps, Akane," he said warmly. "You found him. You'll help bring him home." A finger reached out and touched her nose. "Sweet dreams, tomboy!" Then Barry was gone.

"Wait! What were you going to...? Oh, well. I guess it can wait." Akane lay back down on her bed and snuggled beneath the covers. She dreamed of Ranma holding her as he had the night he left. This time, there was no Barry Barlowe... No Happosai... This time there was only the night, the stars… and Ranma.

* * *

The pretty girl with the long black hair waited impatiently at the station. Though it was getting late, this Friday before the martial arts competition, Nabiki promised her two one-liter containers of fudge ripple ice cream, if she met Akane and her friends. Sakurida admitted she always had been a sucker for ice cream. Surreptitiously, she pulled what looked like a calculator from her bag and checked it. The train was only a little late, she decided. She found a seat and pulled out an engineering manual, then forced herself to put it back. She must not let herself get distracted. Finally, the train clacked rhythmically as it came into the station, the thrust of the pressure wave lifting her hair and swirling it about.

It returned to its straight, lustrous hang as the train stopped. The girl moved quickly down the cars, unerringly finding the one she sought.

"Ranma! Akane!" Two heads spun and smiles showed recognition.

"Sakurida!" Laughing, they ran to meet her, heavy duffel bags riding light on their shoulders. Quickly, they exchanged greetings and, linking arms, went off to find the rest of the team. Shampoo was arguing with Mousse about something, while Cologne had prevented Ryoga from escaping into the unknown by the simple expedient of tripping him with her staff and standing on his head. Not that this would normally stop him. But it did keep his attention focused on the here-and-now. Ukyo and the twins brought up the rear.

Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung looked glum. Cute waitress uniforms replaced their beautiful silk dresses and they weren't toting their weapons. They were not happy Amazons.

"Where are the supplies, granddaughters?" Cologne asked with the snap of a drill sergeant. "Hurry up, we haven't got all day!"

"Yes, Grandmother," they said.

"Hurry up! I won't tolerate slothfulness."

"Could you get off my head?" Ryoga grumbled into the concrete.

"Oh! Ryoga? Amazing the places you get lost!" She hopped off his head.

"Excuse me, but I knew exactly where I was."

"Underfoot," snickered Shampoo. Ryoga glanced up at her and averted his gaze.

Mousse instantly knew what happened with Shampoo's proximity and glared at the horizontal young man. "Stealing glimpses of my Shampoo's undergarments, are you!" he snarled at the sight of blood and prepared to attack. Swords sprouted like feathers from his sleeves and passers-by ducked away, alarmed by the slice-and-dice special.

Shampoo grabbed an arm, twisted, drove the arm straight in toward the shoulder as Mousse tried to flip around her grip. He dropped his handful of swords and spun inside to get a grip on Shampoo's wrist. Their combat was powerful but nearly motionless as Mousse's strength and new-won skills were making him more of a handful for Shampoo's speed and experience. They were grinning like maniacs when Cologne lost patience and bopped them both on the head. "Children, save your energy for the competition!"

"Hey, Cologne! You ready yet?" The bellow came from a pigtailed martial artist dressed in black.

"Nearly, Ranma. The twins have some baggage to take care of." Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung staggered up, each carrying packs that could only be described by words like enormous, heavy, bulky, colossal, massive...

"Here are... supplies, Great-grandmother," Ling-Ling gasped.

"How far is truck," groaned Lung-Lung.

"What truck?" Cologne asked. "It's only a few miles to the university! Get started."

"What?" They looked like deer in headlights. "We walk?"

"Of course!" Cologne said. "We don't exactly have unlimited resources over here, girls. One does what one must," she added with a martyred air. She hopped away. The twins looked like they were going to cry. They looked over at Shampoo and Mousse as they struggled to their feet.

Mousse's glasses had slipped off his forehead and onto his nose. He glanced at Shampoo, who was in an awkward position. Sweat sprang up on his forehead. "The black thong," he breathed. "Hibiki, you bastard!" he screamed, "You must pay... Where'd he go?" He looked around. "Ry-oooooo-ga!"

"Pinpoint him, Akane," Barry sighed. Akane closed her eyes and pointed. Mousse, also trying out his new sense, advanced. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't used to using sight and ki-vision together, caromed off a column and sat down. Akane continued to point as Barry dragged her through the crowd. Behind them Sakurida looked down at their equipment bags and shrugged. She tried to lift them, and purpled. She pulled out her calculator, made some notations and put it away. Then she picked up the bags and walked off smugly.

Ling-Ling sidled over to the seated master of hidden weapons. "You okay, Mousse?"

"I suppose," he muttered. He found his glasses with little difficulty and glanced at Shampoo's little sister. "How cute!"

Ling-Ling flushed. "It not funny, Mousse."

"Shampoo didn't like them either," Mousse replied, rising to his feet again.

"Oh?" Ling-Ling looked less distressed by her garb. "Mousse," she said in a wheedling tone. Her sister joined her. "Maybe you help Ling-Ling…"

"And Lung-Lung," her sister added, understanding where this was going. "You master of hidden weapon. Hold many, many things in robes..."

"Maybe help us? Maybe we have something you want?" Ling-Ling smiled secretively. She glanced to where Shampoo was looking over the crowd in the wake of Ranma and Akane.

"You help us, we help you." Lung-Lung gave a smile that Nabiki would have recognized.

"What you want me to do is load some of those supplies in my robes."

"Maybe." Ling-Ling dug in a toe and scuffed a tiny circle on the concrete.

"I'll tell you what. Do you want to know where your Great-grandmother is now?" Mousse asked meaningfully.

They froze. They looked around. Cologne was nowhere in sight. They frowned at Mousse. He pointed up at the top of Lung-Lung's pack. The twins moved apart so Ling-Ling could get a better line of sight. "_Aiya_!" Cologne reclined in a hollow at the top of her sister's pack. She read a paperback book and blew a smoke ring in the air. Her staff was hooked into a strap that crossed the mountainous load.

Cologne paused in her reading and looked Ling-Ling in the eye. "Haven't you left yet? If you don't get moving, I may have to assign punishment." She pointed. "That way!"

"Great-grandmother, doesn't sign say that way to Imperial Compound?"

"That sign, there, say 'University'," Lung-Lung added helpfully. "It other way."

"Don't worry, children," Cologne reassured them. "We're just taking the scenic route. You need to see some of the sights of Tokyo before you settle down to the drudgery of working in a restaurant."

Ryoga sat on the luggage that had been off-loaded from the train. If he stayed in one place...

"Ryoga!"

The lost-boy looked up. What had Barry upset? He watched as Barry raced after him, dragging Akane in his wake. They gained slowly on his position. What? He looked down to realize he was sitting on some sort of low, wheeled train that was zipping along, carrying the luggage he was seated on to some other destination. He grabbed his pack and hopped off, amazed at how easily he managed to get lost.

"Woo! I thought we were gonna lose ya after all," Barry complained.

Akane patted him reassuringly on the arm. "Don't worry, Ryoga. I bet I could find you even if you had made it to the other side of the earth." Ryoga blushed and Akane realized she might have sounded too familiar. "We'll have to teach Akari..."

"Or Ukyo, or Nabiki, or Koda…" (POW!)

Ryoga continued to hold up his clenched fist, trembling with anger at Barry's teasing. Akane grabbed his arm and dragged him with her to where Barry was digging himself out of a retaining wall. She helped with a grab and yank and smiled sweetly, a dangerous sign. "You had _that_ coming," she said.


	41. Bushwacked

**Guest Ki: Chapter 40**

_**Bushwhacked**_

_**

* * *

**_

**Team Nerima **(as listed by entry)**  
**

**Men: **T. Kuno (Kendo) R. Saotome (Juijitsu) R. Hibiki (Karate) S. Tamanaki (Sumo) T. Kuno (Kyudo) 

**Women: **U. Kuonji(Kendo) Xian Pu (Juijitsu) A. Tendo (Karate) K. Kuno(M.A.R.G.) A. Tendo (Kyudo)

* * *

"Ranma-darling?" Kodachi placed a hand on Barry's shoulder as they unloaded the cab in front of Nabiki's apartment. They had been a little surprised to see the Kunos there, but credited it to Tatewaki's unending quest for his two loves, Akane and onna-Ranma. 

"Hi, Kodachi! 'Scuse, please." He loaded himself up and started for the door of the apartment. "Ya ready to take on the best in Japan?"

"I am the best in Japan... in Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics, at any rate," she said with a toss of her head. "Ranma, I wondered if you knew a young man called Taro."

Barry stopped dead. "Dark hair, little taller than me, wears a vest that looks like it's made out of a big snakeskin?"

"I see you do know him," she observed. "What can you tell me about him?"

"Why'd ya wanna know?"

"When I was returning home the other day, that disgusting little wart, Happosai, attempted to... But I'm sure you're aware of his habits. In any case, Taro stopped and assisted me."

"Good for him," Barry said. Was Kodachi interested in Taro? He was not even Japanese, but Kodachi set her sights on Ranma simply for saving her from a nasty fall. "Well, I can't say Taro and I are friends, but we respect one another. He's good. I'm better, but not much."

"Even better than Ryoga?" She seemed surprised.

"Probably. Taro's nearly as strong as Ryoga and almost as fast as me. He's honorable, and single, last I heard..."

She smacked him and glared. "Trying to get rid of me, are you?" she huffed dangerously and Barry thought of the competition. It wouldn't do to have Kodachi return to her habit of ambush and modified weapons.

"Hey! You asked about him, I thought ya might want an honest comparison."

She deflated and stood considering. Already dressed in a leotard of dark green with black rose appliqués, she was a sight for any man's eyes. Barry tried to keep his eyes where they belonged and to listen to Kodachi rather than ogle her. "What is his Clan name, Ranma-darling?" asked Kodachi at last.

"Kodachi, what does it matter?" Barry hedged. Inside he was exalting. If Kodachi decided on her own to give up on Ranma, that young man could turn his entire attention to satisfying Shampoo's honor. Ranma might finally have a chance at a relationship with Akane.

"Well, he called you 'kettle-boy' and you know what that means. I laughed at him. Who else has two hundred, twenty-seven girls ready to pounce at the chance of a date with him?

Barry boggled. "Two hun—! Wherdja come up with that figure?"

"That's how many tickets were in the barrel at the beginning of Amazon Month, of course," she answered easily. "But to return to the discussion at hand. Taro?"

"Kodachi, he doesn't have any lineage that you could point to. He's an orphan," he added bluntly. "Like me, the only thing that matters to him is his skill." He struggled to find the right words to present Taro in the best light.

"He did not seem to like Happosai very much," she added.

That was an understatement. "Happosai is Taro's godfather. He has a peculiar hold on Taro, and Taro follows him around, trying to get him to release him from that hold. You should also know that Taro is Jusenkyo-cursed. Happosai dipped him into one of the pools when he was a baby."

"Really? What does he turn into?" When Barry hesitated, she prodded. "And why are you so hesitant about discussing it? Are you afraid of him?"

Barry wasn't certain if he snorted or if Ranma's responses did it for him. "I respect him, Kodachi." He figuratively threw up his hands. "His full name is _Pantyhose_ Taro; courtesy of the freak. His form is a winged minotaur with octopus tentacles; he modified his curse a while back to get the tentacles. His Art is a form of Mutsabetsu Kakuto, I guess, since Happosai taught him a lot of what he knows." Barry considered. "He knew enough to keep himself alive without help since he was ten or so. He's been alone a long time."

"Alone," Kodachi sighed, contemplative. She turned away and left him to his work.

Barry was a little perplexed. It was awfully hard to read Kodachi. She started to sneer when he mentioned Taro's social status then went quiet as he mentioned the difficulties Taro overcame.

"Are you two staying with Nabiki, too?" Barry asked to Kodachi's back.

"No, we have a townhouse closer to the campus." Kodachi turned back to him. "Would you be interested in staying there? I can promise you good food, a soft bed," Kodachi laughed throatily.

"I think I'll need the sleep more than the entertainment." He couldn't quite keep his eyes from flickering across her. "I'll be staying here."

"As you wish." Kodachi half turned and added. "Thank you, by the way, for encouraging Tachi and I to talk."

She turned away then, leaving him speechless. During the two weeks they had trained, Kodachi and her brother sparred verbally on a daily basis. It never crossed the bounds into name-calling or insults, but always walked the edge, a weird fantastical duel of words, which Kodachi usually won. But not always…

_That night when Happosai barged in and doused Barry in the middle of sparring with Kuno, she had smirked and said, "Great kami, brother! Surely the pigtailed girl now knows the full reach of your sword and the strength of your passion?" The entire dojo went quiet. Barry was breathless on the floor, not even able to squeak, as the nerve cluster over her heart tried to recover from Kuno's blow. _

_Kuno, having undone the armored mask when he saw the red hair, turned and coldly replied, "At least _we_ spar and test a sword's measure of our free will. You decorate a sheath and hope for a sword to fill it. You should know that a sword may try any sheath, but will not stay unless it is the will of the wielder." _

_Kodachi's eye glinted. "Perhaps the quality of the sheath will inspire the decision?"_

_Tatewaki ran his gaze across the girls in the dojo. "We seem to have a surfeit of quality sheaths, dear sister," he returned dryly. "Why think you yours so superior?"_

"_Nice shot, Kuno," Barry finally gasped. _

"_My sword or my remark?" Kuno quipped. He realized who had spoken and became concerned. "Alas, pigtailed goddess! The foul Saotome fled, leaving you to feel the fury of my rage..."_

"_Trust me, he felt all of it," Barry said, rocking to a sitting position. "How the hell you can still believe that otoka-Ranma and onna-Ranma are not the same person is beyond me," she scolded Kuno. "Can I get some hot water here? I wanna get my shots in, too!"_

"_Does the sheath want to be a sword, Ranma?" Kodachi teased as she conceded this round._

"_Ha, ha, ha!" Barry muttered, accepting a kettle. _

Kettle-boy — a euphemism for a homosexual. Barry snorted. Boy, was Taro off with that one, though if you considered it from _onna_-Ranma's point of view, it might come close. Ranma (and Barry) found girls attractive regardless of his own gender at the moment.

He shook himself and, lifting the load, staggered into the apartment.

* * *

"Great-grandmother," came a quiet voice in the dark, "Where are we?" 

"Top of Tokyo Tower. Grand view, isn't it?"

"Why we come here?" another similar voice asked.

"Tokyo tower is ugly. You don't come for the tower, but for the view. I wanted to spare you the tower." Cologne's little clay-pipe glowed briefly as she puffed in the darkness.

"What that motor sound?" Ling Ling cocked her head and listened intently. Dimly, the sound of tourists came from somewhere below them.

"Where people?" her sister inquired.

"Oh, that's just the observation deck below us, children," she reassured them. "The tower is quite a popular place to view the city from."

"And motor?" they insisted, horror evident in the tone.

"That's the elevator." The pipe glowed briefly, again.

There was a long silence, and then, "They have elevator?" The voices were more aggrieved, if possible.

"Well," came the gravelly voice, "enough sightseeing. Come on, you lazy- bones! Get your packs back on; it's time to climb down! We want to make it to the university before morning."

* * *

In the gray light of dawn the phone rang. In the shadowy half-light, a slim hand fumbled for the handset of the ringing phone. "Moshi, moshi..." muttered a feminine voice, thick with sleep. Around her, blanketed forms occupied various guest futon. "Yes, this is Nabiki Tendo. Kuno, is that you?" She sat up, the covers falling from her shoulders to reveal the large T-shirt she used as sleepwear. "Slow down and leave off the poetry! What happened?" Heads were coming up. Akane, her futon further from the others because of her tendency to thrash, rolled to her feet and picked her way over to the bed. "Hold on, Kuno! We'll be right over. Let me talk to Sasuke." There was a pause before Nabiki snarled, "Then just stay there. We're coming!" 

She slammed down the phone and turned to Akane. "Dammit!" snapped Nabiki. "Akane, you and… and Ranma get over to Kuno's townhouse. Wait! Akane, you stay here, just in case. Send Ranma.

"What's wrong, Nabiki?"

"The Kuno's were ambushed this morning. Someone pulled a Kodachi on Kodachi."

* * *

Finally, after Barry determined the area was clear, the remainder of Team Nerima quickly moved to the townhouse. They arrived as Kodachi was being carried out on a stretcher. Barry moved alongside the semi-conscious girl, holding her hand as they loaded her into the ambulance. Sasuke jumped aboard, the doors closed, and the ambulance went wailing off. That accomplished the remainder of Team Nerima filed into the townhouse. 

"Damn! I should have seen this coming," Barry snarled slamming his fist into a wall. "Nikki must have gotten wind something was up!"

I don't know, Ranma," Nabiki said. "While it would have been nice to have the Black Rose competing, for a change, it's not going to break either Nikki or me if she's not in." She buffed her nails. "In fact, the popular bet was that she would be disqualified for one of her pre-match visits." She viewed the result and nodded. "If Nikki really wanted to cause problems for me, he would have worked over Kuno here..." She waved in the direction of Tatewaki, who sat depressed and angry in one corner, "...or tried something at my apartment."

"I wish..." Akane growled.

Sakurida shook her head sadly. "Sometimes the past comes back to haunt you," she said, and added cryptically, "I know it does me on a regular basis."

Tatewaki was beside himself. The girls gazed pityingly on Kuno as he paced back and forth, an ice pack on a large bump on his head. Everyone stood around feeling useless.

"Sakurida pegged it, I think," sighed Nabiki, finally. "Some of the Black Rose's former opponents decided to make sure she didn't play her usual game."

Barry stopped his own pacing . "Aww Man... She was gonna play it straight this time," he growled and then turned to Kuno. "How many did you say there were?"

"At least six. Two are hurt, one by Kodachi's clubs and one to my bokken. Are you suggesting they were all women?" he asked in a horrified voice as Nabiki's words finally percolated through.

"Maybe," Nabiki said. "Two hurt, hmmm? I'll check to see if anyone scratched. That still leaves the rest of you to do your thing. Let me double check my schedule." Nabiki pulled a form out and began browsing through the lists.

"That doesn't show the order of competition, does it?" Barry asked. Akane and Ryoga looked at him nervously. They could feel the tension.

"No, Ranma. _Honestly_! We've been talking about it all week. The order is drawn by lot just before the round starts." Nabiki grimaced. "I _wish_ they were made up in advance."

Akane flinched as she felt Barry mutter and snarl his frustration. She wondered how anyone could miss the difference in personality between Barry and Ranma. The buzz and pop of his aura was practically audible. But to the eye, he was simply standing there, frowning, as Ranma oftendidwhen... when planning something really stupid.

"Isn't Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics held in the afternoon?" he asked suddenly.

Nabiki fixed Barry with a hard look. "You're planning something stupid, aren't you?"

"Let's say, I'm really pissed."

"I really don't want to hear this, but I guess I'll have to."

Barry went straight to the nearest water source and transformed. Kuno expressed his pleasure, then his pain. "Not now, baka!" she raged.

"Ranma, I'm sure your opponents will be overjoyed if you fight them that way," Nabiki said dryly. "Jujitsu is a grappling style, after all."

"Isn't Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics held in the afternoon?"

"Yes."

"I can do it, then. Jujitsu is all scheduled for the morning."

"Ranma, this isn't like your match against Kodachi." Nabiki was shaking her head. "That was school against school. As long as any competitor from the school showed up, it was okay."

"Kodachi signed up, Ranma," Akane added. "I don't think they'll allow someone else to take her place. Let it go."

"What if I disguised myself to look like Kodachi?" Barry insisted.

"Pigtailed goddess." Kuno peeled himself off the ceiling. "My sister is lovely, but your fair looks and joyous abandon could never hide their light in her convoluted darkness."

"Don't know if ya don't try," Barry said. She centered herself, remembered how Kodachi's aura felt and what it looked like. She remembered how Happosai made himself look and feel like other objects at Himamashi's. She gritted her teeth and concentrated.

"Ranma?"

She shimmered, the aura springing blue about her. The others backed away. Sakurida had her 'calculator' out again and was desperately punching in numbers. The aura flashed, sending out a peculiar shockwave. Nabiki yelped and jerked her cell phone from her pocket. It hit the floor smoking. Sakurida dropped her electronics on a side table and shook her fingertips. Barry dropped into a crouch, dizzy and disoriented by the thing she did. 'God! That felt strange.' She looked at her reflection in a window; a pert redhead stared back. 'Damn!' She rose to her feet.

"Sister?"

She turned around. Kuno was staring at her with the damnedest expression on his face. Barry glanced back at the window; still the same old reflection. She turned back and chuckled nervously and told Kuno he was loonier than usual. What came out was, "Ohhh, Hohohohohohoho! Tachi, how unbalanced! It is only I, Ranma." She tried to clap a hand to her mouth in horror, but it turned into a coquettish gesture that was pure Kodachi.

"Oh, _shit_!" Akane choked out.

* * *

Who would have thought that a 300 year old Amazon would have a cell phone? "You get yourself in the strangest situations, son-in-law." Cologne muttered as she examined the pseudo-Kodachi carefully. "I have to use a mirror to tell that you're not the Kuno girl. Whatever made you decide you should try something like this?" 

Barry tried to slump but it was too uncomfortable. She let the body assume its haughty erect posture. "Honored Elder, it was beyond all... Cologne, I'm havin' trouble speakin' normal. I was angry about Kodachi bein' taken out even though she was tryin' ta ... do it right, this time."

"How did you do it?"

"Happosai... has a technique for being unnoticed. (Whew!) I tried to adapt it as a disguise technique."

"Oh," Cologne said, "That one." Her eyes rolled in disgust.

"Did that sound good to you?" Nabiki muttered to Sakurida.

"I don't think so." Sakurida was twisting the edge of her skirt, a frown of concern on her face.

"Do we have some hot water?" suggested Cologne. A kettle was offered, a girl screeched as the hot water hit, and…

"Hey! You musta hit the reset button!"

Barry hopped to his feet relieved. He felt as normal as he ever did in Ranma's body. He turned to Akane.

"It feels all right. Does it look all right?"

She nodded. They looked at Cologne.

"Now, let's try cold water again." Water splashed and Akane stifled a scream.

"Indeed, excrement!" Barry drawled Kodachi-style. They all turned, shocked and rattled, when Cologne laughed.

"No need to worry, son-in-law," the matriarch chuckled. "It's just that this little technique was never designed to copy anything more complicated than a plant. You tried to copy a person… and a loon, at that!"

"Am I doomed to remain this way?" Barry twitched at the words that expressed her thoughts.

"Not at all. In a few days, your own ki will reassert itself and you'll be back to your annoyingly cute, redheaded self. At least, when you're in your cursed form."

Barry discovered she was fanning herself with a hand. "Indeed? Why, thank you, honored elder, I am relieved to hear that."

"You know, Ranma," Nabiki said, her nose twitching as it did when money was involved, "there's no reason we can't go forward with your idea. I mean, as soon as the rumor hits that Kodachi is eliminated, it's going to do wonders for the odds."

"Nabiki, that would be cheating," Sakurida complained. "And, and…"

"Relax, Sakurida. The old ghoul's been doing this stuff for 3000 years. She knows what she's doing."

(Whack!) Nabiki cringed under the attention of Cologne's staff. "How old?"

"300?" (Whack!) "Ow! That's what you told us, dammit!"

"It was still an impolite thing to say, girl."

* * *

The morning went swiftly. Jujitsu, sometimes confused with judo, is a matter of form and control. Ranma and Shampoo inherited these particular events because they were the fastest martial artists on the team, and the most familiar with similar forms. Ranma considered jujitsu to be the 'soft' form of Mutsabetsu Kakuto. Shampoo knew something called Kyute Jiutsu, which was a source for the Amazon tsubo attacks, and was a deceptively dangerous form. 

Barry found his biggest problem was slowing down enough. Barry concentrated, as he never had before. He could not use Ranma's standard forms in this competition; most of them would disqualify him and many could do serious injury. As a result, his wins were fast, precise and seemed much easier than they were. He never used a move or series more difficult than a brown belt might use, but his speed was so much greater that none of his opponents had a chance.

Shampoo, also, had to slow down to avoid injuring her opponents. But her biggest hurdle came while waiting for the first matches to begin, when one of the male jujitsu competitors tried to hit on her. She had demonstrated the 'Shampoo Wedgie', using a hand-and-finger grip to bend her opponent into a sudden, arcing bow. To string the 'bow', she braced a shapely leg against one of his and snapped the waistband of his supporter up over his forehead with her free hand. Letting him drop, she ignored him until a referee came up and threatened to disqualify her.

"Why?" she said, blinking. "I did not know there was a rule that permitted competing men to treat competing women like whores." She looked down at her writhing victim and unsnapped the band with a toe. "There. He is okay, if not big baby. Maybe he should keep his hands to _himself_?" she offered, staring the official straight in the eye as he reached for her arm. The official backed down as much from the look in her eyes as from the growls of the other girls that backed her up. Shampoo had adapted when Akane helped her learn to associate with her neighbors instead of antagonizing them. Shampoo greeted the other girls with smiles and quiet explanations and respect. Because of this, gaijin or not, she was treated to celebrity status before the matches even began.

Akane met up with a clique among the girls in women's karate. On hearing the last name of Tendo, whispers from the Nikki contingent largely poisoned her opponents' opinions. Akane had, with difficulty, remained polite and fought her matches with poise and flare. Nabiki identified Nikki's main competitor in this event and Akane treated her to a Ranma-style bout, using speed to avoid her opponent's blows until she was in position to knock her out of the ring with almost negligible force.

Ryoga was fast and direct in the men's karate events, his moves reported by the announcers as reminiscent of Bruce Lee. He knew better. Bruce Lee's root art had been Wing Chun, not Karate and that artist had been faster in actual combat. But Lee could have pounded on Ryoga all day without much to show for it. The few strikes that got through to Ryoga might as well have been spitballs for all the effect they had.

Tatewaki Kuno stepped back from a match he had won with a precise thrusting blow to the chest. His sparring with Saotome, begun in anger and outrage, ended in curiosity and respect. Once he realized that the other Ranma must be a relation, he realized that their closeness was more brother and sister familiarity, than slave and master. Perhaps he had misjudged Saotome. He didn't totally forgive him, of course; impossible when he was still linked with Akane Tendo, but perhaps that relationship was different as well. Akane had been treating Ranma with a quiet reserve lately that even Kuno had not missed. If Ranma were releasing Akane, he might be interested in Kodachi. The sudden appearance of the 'other' Ranma and her disturbing transformation shook him to the core. How had she so accurately portrayed his sister if she were the pure wildflower he assumed? And so, in dark reflection, he troubled none and befriended none, while defeating all comers. Unconsciously, he portrayed to his observers the epitome of samurai.

The women's kendo had indeed been with naginata. Ukyo's speed was her saving grace, but the additional reach the naginata provided served to hamper her. Her style was puzzling to her opponents, unconventional and frightening in its speed. Her country girl familiarity disarmed them. She had no bone to pick with them and when they heard she was the owner of the new yatai gracing campus, they were full of questions about the pictures.

Slowly, Team Nerima was becoming notorious.

There was a break at mid-morning. This provided an opportunity for Nikki to attempt to tamper with the members of Team Nerima, which created several rather funny incidents.

Ryoga, when meeting Akari who came to watch the tournament, was ambushed by a heavy-set man with a baseball bat. Ryoga acted as if he weren't even aware that a thug tried to break a yard of kiln-hardened ash over his skull, until Akari gently pointed it out. Ryoga smirked and asked if the thug wished him to wait while the fellow got a bigger stick.

Barry stopped to use the rest room. He entered, went to a booth and heard the door open. When the footsteps did not move into the room, he went on full alert. A number of soft thumps accompanied by familiar sounds immediately followed. "Miaou!" (Pad, pad, pad, pad,) "Miaou! Fssst! Mrrrrrooaaaww! Chuckling, he finished his business and exited the stall to find a dozen cats eating fish and chicken parts by the door and under the windows. It would have been a devastating situation for Ranma. For Barry, it was merely amusing.

Nabiki was fortunate that Ling-Ling was delivering some ramen when Nikki and a thug came to visit. Nikki had been obnoxious, ignoring the pretty, coltish Chinese girl until he reached out to grip Nabiki's arm. Ling-Ling spilled scalding ramen across his arm and ducked the backhanded swing the thug unleashed. Then Ling-Ling attempted the 'Shampoo Wedgie'. It was a bit more serious in effect, as the man was wearing boxers. They limped off, the thug walking like he was in ballet pointe shoes and Nikki cursing up a storm as his good arm was scalded, his bad arm still in a sling and his crutch had been forgotten in his rush to escape.

The attack on Shampoo was more serious. Cold water reduced her to cat-form. Fortunately, Akane was close behind. This attacker came the closest to being killed of all Nikki's minions, as he snatched at Shampoo with some violence. Akane closed in and demonstrated what 'arm's reach' meant in Nerima, as she struck Shampoo's attacker more than fifty times in three seconds. Campus security arrived to take the attacker to the hospital. Akane and Shampoo were warned they would have to give a deposition later.

Alone of Team Nerima, Ukyo was not bothered by thugs. Except during her actual matches, she was surrounded constantly with people wanting to know about her yatai. With so many potential witnesses, Nikki's people stayed clear.

The matches of the late morning were special each in their own way. But, the Nerima contingent all finished victorious.

Barry's ultimate match was a grueling affair with a young man technically his superior in the art of juijitsu, but without Ranma's pure speed. He was nearly defeated on technical points when he managed a hold, anticipated through reading his opponent's focus with ki-vision. The painful submission hold brought his opponent low. Panting afterward, Barry bowed low to the man and congratulated him on his skill. The other grinned and congratulated him on his victory and told him that his sensei, Toronaga Daikansatsu, sent Ranma his regards.

Akane had to coax her opponents to fight. Two of the girls had seen her protecting Shampoo and realized that, up to that point, Akane had been going easy on them. Two others, heavily backed by Nikki and having heard rumors of his attempt to injure Nabiki a few weeks earlier, were so petrified they hesitated to compete against her. Akane's final bout was against one of those two, who burst into tears only to find Akane offering a shoulder and reassuring her that no matter what Nikki did, Akane didn't hold _her_ to blame. After a delay, the match was held and Akane had been impressed by her opponent's skill. She was very respectable, if not anywhere near Akane's abilities. Akane pointed her out and thanked her for the match.

Ukyo's semifinal had been her most difficult. Her opponent was fast, canny, skilled and knew something about ki-manipulation. They held nothing back and Ukyo resorted to using her naginata as a pole, to vault a swipe at waist-level. The force of the blow broke the shaft, leaving her with a shorter weapon and she struck swiftly while still airborne. Her inverted strike hit the top of her opponent's helmet and drove her to her knees. After that, she was swiftly pointed out.

Shampoo flowed like water and developed a male fan club all over again, despite the widely discussed 'wedgie' treatment. Her smile had every man who saw it feel that just maybe she meant it for him. Her opponents fought hard, lost and then pestered her for more stories of the Chinese Amazons.

When Kuno met Kogara in the quarterfinal. It nearly got ugly.

"Kuno, what a surprise. I thought you had withdrawn from the world. Medical problems."

"Perhaps, Daibunmasatsu," Kuno replied easily. He was still considering his dilemma concerning Ranma. They exchanged a series of blows and Kuno was mildly surprised when Kogara took the first point.

"My compliments, Daibunmasatsu. Well struck."

"Oh, I've improved my swordplay considerably," the younger man said smugly. "Do you still like redheads?" They returned to their starting positions.

"One, yes," Kuno said simply. His normal flowery comments about his 'goddess' did not follow. They lost themselves in the ebb and flow of combat. Kuno struck through at one point, but stepped back, not surprised when the referee disallowed his hit.

"I have to admit, she's pretty good, Kuno. I always thought she dyed her hair, but then I saw for myself. Yes, she is the real thing!" The series of strikes was more vicious as Kuno reacted with a flash of rage and Kogara scored on him again. Kuno nodded then and a smile fled briefly across his lips.

"Indeed. I presume that you played the common trick of splashing Saotome in the showers to summon her there. Yes, I am more aware than I seem, Kogara, and you are about to regret your remarks, your attitude and the foulness in your heart." Kuno felt for his center and focused for the first time that day. Kuno proceeded to hit Kogara three times running, in three separate ways, at stomach, chest and neck. The last blow left Kogara white, remembering how Kuno felled trees with his bokken. Kuno feinted, deflected then trapped Kogara's blade out of position. His blow was swift, delivered okesa. Had it been struck with steel, or backed by Kuno's usual ki-delivery, Kogara would have been dead.

Once his win was confirmed, Kuno bowed, turned on his heel and left.

Lunchtime was a joining of forces. Cologne set up a stand for the Nekohanten and was doing brisk business. So was 'University Ucchan's'. While each was doing considerable trade in their specialty, the order of the day at both establishments was…

"Hamburger, medium, with ketchup, pickles, wasabi..."

Barry looked at Mousse, skillfully wielding spatula and fork, turning burgers only ten feet from Konatsu doing the same. He frowned when he saw the tractor wasn't in place.

"Don't worry, Ranma-sama," Konatsu said, flipping half a dozen quarter-pound burgers with polished ease. The young man was dressed for a change in an okonomiyaki uniform. "Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung are acting as delivery persons to keep up with the demand. Cologne promised no tricks if we allowed them to use the tractor. I felt, under the circumstances..."

"Do watcha hafta, Konatsu," he replied. "How's the ghost story special going?"

"Quite well, actually. I found I got the best results by offering specials on burgers, however. I could give you a stack a meter tall, but Ukyo-sama said they were to go to Ryoga." Konatsu looked troubled by this detail.

"Don't worry, man. I can't read Chinese, and Ryoga's an expert."

"But some are in Japanese! I..."

"Don't worry, Konatsu. I asked her to do it that way." He felt a movement around his feet and looked down. A boy of twelve had a big piece of paper up against the side of the cart and was making a rubbing of one of the panels. "Hey! Watcha doin' down there?" The youth looked up and froze, eyes wide. "Like the pictures, huh?" Barry probed, and got a brief nod. "I don't know, though. Is it a good likeness?" He pointed with his toe to a picture of Ranma and smiled. The boy glanced at it and back at Barry, eyes beginning to pop. He began to sidle away.

"What are you doing down there, you naughty boy," snapped Konatsu. "Leave those panels alone!" He waved the spatula and then sighed as his audience left at high speed. "I hate doing that, but if I don't, they'll be prying the things off next." He filled some orders and gave a burger to Barry.

"What's this?" Barry asked, accepting it.

"Ukyo's compliments," Konatsu said.

"Ah, Konatsu, she's sorta not doin' that no more."

"All right, _my_ compliments, then," Konatsu said firmly. "You didn't have to go looking for her either, not after what she did at the wedding," he sniffed.

"Konatsu," Barry said slowly, "don't shut her out. I care deeply for Ukyo and I've hurt her so many times. I deserve everythin' I get and then some. I just can't love her the way she wants. She has to react somehow, and I'd rather have her beat on me than feel guilty again and wander off."

"You're a good man, Ranma-sama."

"I wonder sometimes," Barry replied. He ended up with a burger from the Nekohanten as well, courtesy of Mousse. No one attacked them during this break.

They returned from lunch to watch Nagasameru demonstrate the nodachi, an awe-inspiring performance. The tall girl's style was vaguely reminiscent of naginata, but the power and speed of her strikes were like those of a giant wielding a pocketknife.

"By the gods!" Kuno breathed. "I would hate to fight her with any weapon. How does she do that?"

Barry watched with interest the play of ki from blade to wielder. "A lot of it is pure skill, no argument there, but some is tied up with that sword. The sword is a family heirloom and lends her something."

"A magic blade," Shampoo said, intrigued. "Maybe good thing we not fight at Akane's house when she come."

Kuno looked at Shampoo then at Barry. "Not _another_ one!" he said with disgust.

"No, thank kami! But it was close. Fortunately, I invited the girls over, demonstrated the curse and her dad had a fit. 'Sama was happy to be let off the hook, as she was interested in that man-mountain we stuck you with in the limo."

"Oh." Kuno thought about that. To Barry's astonishment, he smiled ever so slightly and shook his head. "That, in retrospect, was funny. I had filled my mind with visions of privacy and romance, and I have a human bull practically sitting on my lap and growling every time I tried to escape. I half-feared I would be forced to transport them all the way home." An electronic buzz sounded, and Kuno frowned suddenly. He dipped into his coat and drew out his cell phone. "Kuno here." A scratchy voice sounded from the receiver. "Yes, Sasuke." He listened. "Put him on."

"How's Kodachi?"

"One moment." Kuno listened as a mellow voice sounded from the phone. "That's correct, Doctor. I am not releasing her to your care. I don't feel it is in my sister's best interest. No, I am not losing confidence in you, sir, but my sister is uneasy with you. No, I am assigning her elsewhere." There was a long period of the mellow voice being more than slightly angry. "Doctor, you have said that for proper treatment, there is needed proper trust. I trust you, but my sister does not. Therefore, I will continue in your care, but I assign my sister elsewhere. Doctor, it is not open for discussion. Good day! Doctor, give the phone back to my man, Sasuke. Thank you. Sasuke, is Kodachi ready to be released? Good! See if you can send her to the resort that I stayed at when I met Ukyo last month. I'm sure I can trust them to take care of her. Oh, and Sasuke? Please stay with her for now. Yes, with honor!' Kuno turned off the phone.

"How is hyena-girl?" Shampoo asked before Barry could.

"Some broken bones," he sighed. "They will mend, but I'm afraid she's back to her old self, if I understood correctly what she was saying in the background."

"Dammit!" Barry snarled. His face was set.

Kuno glanced sidewise at him and shuddered. "You continue your course?"

"Yup!"

"You must exchange places then, or whatever it is you do. Who is her second?"

"Shampoo. Akane will be doin' women's kyudo, after all. She's not really expectin' ta win, but the higher she places the better."

"Ranma Saotome."

Barry felt the request for eye contact and gave it. "Tatewaki Kuno."

"Do not take this path," Kuno said. "I fear for the pigtailed one."

"It's not like the change ain't gonna happen anyway, Kuno." Barry could understand the unstable young man's disquiet.

"I wish I could properly express my horror at the transformation." His lips pursed. "What if she is wrong, Ranma? The old ghoul." Kuno was facing him seriously agitated and concerned. "What if the odd circumstances that surround the two of you produce results other than what she expects?"

"If so, we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it."

Ryoku Hitsutaki waited calmly in her corner, but inside she quailed. They had faced Kodachi before and none of them made it to their matches with the Black Rose. This time was different, but the methods they used were not honorable. It had seemed like simple justice and self-defense when they thought of it. But now... Hitori and Mika were scratched from the tournament, one with cracked ribs and the other a broken arm. Her remaining allies were as disturbed as she. The other Hitori, Fusaku, Lian and Raiko, all had been unusually quiet. The seven girls were from two neighboring schools in western Tokyo.

_Fusaku was the one who knocked on the door of the townhouse early that morning, pretending to be a girl in distress. This drew out the little ninja and all six cooperated to take him out first. That had been simple, no harm done. Their plan was to either chloroform Kodachi or tie her to her bed. So long as she was out of action until after the start of the competition, they didn't care what she said after that. They wore masks and dark-colored workout suits to disguise themselves. For some reason, they never expected Tatewaki. They located Kodachi and were entering her room when Tatewaki exited his own room in search of relief. Seconds later, their simple excursion, which they thought of almost as a prank, turned deadly serious. His charge forced them all into Kodachi's room and awakened the Black Rose in the process. The room was five meters on a side, and in the end, it was that which saved them at all. _

_Tatewaki became entangled in Raiko's rope as he came through the doorway long enough for Fusako's club to knock him out. He still completed his strike at Mika, breaking her arm. The Black Rose grabbed for clubs and, had she her 'specials', might have done serious damage. They all had bruises; and Hitori, dodging a blow from their desperate target, crashed into a night table, breaking her ribs. Kodachi began a concentrated counter-attack when Mika, whom she dismissed as out of action, looped a rope around her ankle and pulled her down. Clubs struck down and only the wail of a siren kept them from killing Kodachi in an excess of terror and anger. Ryoku blessed those sirens. They had been going to another destination, but their fear of being caught over-rode their adrenaline-charged attack. They fled, confident the Black Rose would not be using her tricks for a while._

Ryoku glanced up at the clock. Soon Kodachi would be disqualified. Soon, she would move on to the next round and only need to face normal opponents with normal gear.

"I still don't understand why you wouldn't let me take advantage of this, Ranma," Nabiki whispered from the shadows of the hallway. A couple of yards away, Shampoo and Ling-Ling waited with them; the former, Ranma's second or 'prop handler' as Barry preferred to think of it, the latter Nabiki's bodyguard, on salary. Ling-Ling had heard of 'Mercenary Girl' before and was gleeful at the opportunity to observe a master at her work.

"If I can eliminate the five girls you say were involved in the attack, I plan to remove myself from the competition, Nabiki," said Barry. Black hair dye and makeup turned the redhead into a reasonable facsimile of Kodachi. With the masking technique, it was more than uncanny. "It is possible that Cologne does not possess all of the pertinent information needed to make an accurate evaluation."

"If you're not going for the win, why bother?" inquired Nabiki. "Revenge?"

"No. Those girls need to understand that this path must not be traveled. We need no other blossoms from the Black Rose's thorny vine." Barry shuddered. She had only marginal control over the patterns of this form's speech. She hoped she had better control of the combat patterns.

"Why the cast on your arm?" Nabiki asked, pointing to the fiberglass sports-cast that encumbered the girl's right arm.

"Insurance, Nabiki. If anyone should check medical records, they will find that the Black Rose suffered a broken arm," Barry said. "Also if I... she were to show up uninjured, the girls would have no reason to feel any guilt, only regret that they failed."

"Ten seconds, Ranma," Shampoo said. "Time to go."

"Wish me luck!" Barry took off in a series of flipping cartwheels toward the ring.

Ryoku took a couple of deep breaths. It almost was time. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as a form flipped down the aisle and vaulted, spinning, to land on top of the post across from her.

"I apologize profusely for my tardiness," the black clad form drawled. "I had a bit of an accident this morning and required the attention of the doctor. A wonderful thing, sports medicine."

Ryoku felt faint. After all that, Kodachi was here. She made no move when her coach objected loudly and demanded that Kodachi's gear be checked for modifications.

"Go right ahead," the black-haired aristocrat drawled. "I promised my Ranma-sama to 'play it straight' for him. I will perform as I promised." She looked pointedly at Ryoku. "Regardless of what others might do."

"I'm dead," thought Ryoku as the officials checked the equipment and verified it conformed to standard parameters. All the while the Black Rose watched her with a solemn face. The referee called them to their positions.

"Hoop!" Ryoku called to her second.

"Ribbon!" 'Kodachi' called.

"And so it begins!" shouted the announcer into his microphone. "The first match is between Kodachi Kuno of Furinkan High School and Ryoku Hitsutaki of Akadenkoo High School. Kodachi Kuno is the controversial competitor ejected from the Hawaii International Tournament in the United States. Ryoku Hitsutaki is a solid athlete with an impressive record of wins. They've selected their weapons. As always in this type of competition, a win is scored if a competitor is knocked out of the ring or unable to continue fighting."

In the ring, the contestants began to circle.


	42. Repercussions

**Guest Ki: Chapter 41**

_**Repercussions**_

Ribbon coiling, Barry waited for her opponent's attack. A hoop was most effective as either a shield or a close-range combat weapon. It could be used as a projectile, but was easy to catch or deflect. She could initiate hostilities, but wanted to let her opponent sweat a little. She began a little routine to goad the other into action, a one-handed cartwheeling kata that forced Ryoku to retreat or engage. She retreated halfway around the ring, then burst forward to the attack, hoop spinning between her hands like the blade of an eggbeater. Barry leaped, too, into a forward roll, trailing the ribbon behind her. She came to her feet with arms spread wide, ribbon stretched between her fingers like a rope. Ryoku brought her hands down to align her weapon just as Barry thrust straight up with a leg. Rising like a rocket, the loop of ribbon snapped around Ryoku's wrists and the hoop bounced across the ring. It had been close; M.A.R.G. did not encourage body-to-body contact. Then Ryoku snapped her legs around, catching the ribbon with her toes, trapping it long enough to free her hands.

"Very nice," Barry commented. "Rope," she said, discarding the ribbon, which had become knotted.

"Ribbon!" called out Ryoku.

"Sorry about Mika and Hitori, but you should have called for an appointment," Barry said dryly. "If you're not planning to emulate me on a regular basis…"

"We could never be like you," snarled the girl lashing out with her ribbon.

Barry dodged or deflected the attacks with the rope. "Really? I thought you were doing quite well this morning. Of course, after a few times, you'll find yourself losing faith in your allies. After a few injuries, the clumsier members of your squad will begin to suspect you let them take the brunt of the pain for your gain."

"Shut up, Kodachi!"

"In fact, trust and friendship will be replaced by a unique satisfaction that you are alone and accountable to no one but yourself. And the police, of course."

Ryoku felt her heart sink into her feet. "P-police?"

"You needn't worry, my young protégé," Barry caroled adding her best 'Oh, hohoho!' "There's no evidence really and I'm much more interested in our little talk here." Barry had discussed matters with those master manipulators, Cologne and Nabiki, before deciding on strategy for the girls. She wanted to make sure they never tried this again. "Of course, your parents will be thrilled when they hear of your extracurricular activities. You are so lucky that way, Ryoku," Barry smiled sweetly, trapped the ribbon with her rope and threw them out of the ring. "Clubs!"

"Clubs!" echoed Ryoku. "Why am I lucky?" They circled and began a series of escrima-like attacks.

"My father couldn't care less if I win, lose or blow up the city," Barry commented, not feeling at all guilty at slandering Principal Kuno. "I understand that is not common. Surely your parents will be thrilled, as you gain a reputation for ruthlessness and your wins become more regular," she gushed. Suddenly, one of Kodachi's clubs spun into the air and Ryoku pressed her advantage with a snarl. Defending, Barry took two steps back, fencing with one club before she held her ground. As Ryoku tried to break through her defense, the other club spiraled lazily back down to ricochet off her head, much as a certain bonbori had done to Shampoo when she first met Ranma as a boy. As Ryoku flinched, stunned, Barry finished the job and struck her to the mat. "Perhaps we can speak later," added Barry, turning away.

"What a show, ladies and gentlemen," yelled the announcer. "Ryoku showed plenty of guts, but Kodachi Kuno controlled the match, start to finish! The surprises of the morning continue in the afternoon. And the group of martial artists popularly known as 'Team Nerima' seem set to continue their dominance!"

Shampoo followed Barry out to allow them to set up for the next match. "How did it go, Ranma?" she asked meaning not the action but the psychology.

"Adequately, I suppose," Barry answered. She stumbled a little and frowned. "She must have scored my leg," she said, looking at a bruise she hadn't noticed before.

* * *

Shinzoo Tamanaki faced his opponents in the sumo event with confidence. He didn't know if he could beat all of his competitors, but the training he received from Ranma and Ryoga had boosted his self-confidence considerably. Ryoga was surprisingly strong and Shinzoo was glad the lost-boy had never considered sumo as a career. The only way you could shift the man was literally to pick him up and throw him out of the ring. And if Ryoga decided he wanted _you_ to move—! So far he hadn't had to use any of the special moves the two had showed him for opponents who proved stronger or faster. He would need them soon, though. The man he was about to face, Horateru Gizumi, was an All-Japan finalist, nearly fifty kilos heavier than Shinzoo, and fast. 

They went through the beginning rituals and prayers, before they faced off. The initial shock of impact was incredible and Shinzoo definitely came off second best, being driven back fractionally. Then came the twisting, shifting attempts to gain advantage, their feet sliding and stomping in an impromptu waltz about the ring. Here again, Gizumi had the advantage, controlling that waltz and forcing Shinzoo back against the boundary. Then Shinzoo used his first new trick. He sidestepped swiftly and gave suddenly, as his back-most foot touched the edge of the ring. As Gizumi began to lose his balance, Shinzoo lunged forward and up and, with a sidewise slap of both hands, disengaged from the man's gripping fingers. For a long frozen moment Gizumi flailed, trying to stay in the ring. Then it was over.

"It looked like Gizumi had control right up until the last moment. Shinzoo Tamanaki has, till now, been known as a strong and steady fighter, but not necessarily a high-ranking contender. Something has changed. It is reputed that Shinzoo is part of the group unofficially known as 'Team Nerima'. Our sources indicate that these young martial artists trained under three family schools: Saotome, Tendo and Hibiki. If our sources are correct, the results are clear — a new force in martial arts is making itself felt in Tokyo today!"

* * *

Nodoka Saotome watched her TV and snorted delicately. All three schools had been around for more than 200 years, though she had to admit that Mutsabetsu Kakuto hadn't been attached to the Saotome or Tendo schools for more than a couple decades. She was delighted at the matches, avidly watching Ranma, Akane, Shampoo, Ukyo, Ryoga, and even the Kuno boy, win their events. Genma watched stoically, criticizing his son, even while admitting that jujitsu was not Ranma's strongest area of the Art. The afternoon events, kyudo, sumo and Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics, did not interest her much. She turned off the TV and made herself lunch. Genma ate before he left to visit Soun in the hopes of more lunch and some celebratory sake to toast the morning's victories. Then she sat down and turned the television back on. The network sometimes showed reruns of interesting matches and she didn't want to miss a chance of seeing her son in action, even if it was prerecorded. Nor was she disappointed. She watched several, including one of Akane, and giggled as that girl fought with serious and intimidating precision. 

Ranma fought as he always did, with speed and deceptive skill and an excited smile on his face. In the matches they aired, he slipped three attempts to throw or bind, as evasive as the wind. His final match was different and Nodoka suspected he dislocated several fingers when his opponent managed to get a grip. Earlier, Genma had nodded approvingly at his drive; most men would have yielded to the grip and lost right there. Nodoka, especially seeing the rerun of the close-up of her son's face as the other man's grip wrenched at his fingers, cringed.

A dozen years ago, she had let her husband take her son from her. She had protested over the severity of his training; she had wept over the bruises. Genma had said she was holding Ranma back. She had heard something of the adventures since then, especially through Genma's braggadocio postcards. Ranma developed into an almost inhumanly skilled fighter. In the past month, something else, something she couldn't quite define happened as well. He was attentive, respectful, forgetful and rude by turns, but always careful of his mother's feelings. And yet… She looked into his eyes and saw a stranger.

* * *

'Kodachi' was not late for her second match. Again, she opposed one of the girls from the attack. Raiko Fujitara was a gorgeous brunette with huge defenseless eyes. Easily as pretty as any of Ranma's fiancées, she stood nervously in her corner across the ring. The referee called them to the center and started the match. 

"Ribbon!"

"Rope!"

Raiko circled. It was obvious the ribbon was not her best weapon and Barry soon wrenched it from her grasp. She called for the ball and dribbled it basketball style as she watched Barry maneuver closer with the rope.

"Enjoying yourself?" inquired 'Kodachi'. Raiko shuddered and swallowed.

"How can you be here?" she whispered. "Are you some ghost?"

"You could say that," Barry informed her. She watched that register with the other girl. "I mean, all those bruises, the broken arm... Do you like my cast? Poor Tatewaki was devastated to discover he attacked girls. He's very protective of the fairer sex, even if he is a bit of a pervert. Still, that's a boy for you."

Creeped out, Raiko launched the ball a little early and Barry had plenty of time to catch it on the rope and sling it back at her. She hit the floor; the wind knocked out of her. The ball bounced out of the ring. She rolled unsteadily to her feet and called for a rope and, matched tool-wise, began to circle.

"You ambushed us before," she whispered. "We had to protect ourselves!" She swept the rope at her opponent's legs, only to have her leap it like a jump rope.

"Very good! You discovered how to become just like me," Barry taunted, just as quietly. "I play a different game than anyone else, girl. Welcome to the game; you'll play it the rest of your life!"

"No!" Raiko lunged. Barry let her come, backing up into the corner, and then... "_No-o-o-o-o-o_!" Raiko was tied to the post, face into the corner, defenseless. She jerked at her hands. She felt Kodachi approach her.

"Clubs!"

She shivered and closed her eyes. She deserved it; she deserved it! Kodachi had five seconds before the referee called Raiko unable to continue and she could beat her to a pulp in that time. She had seen Kodachi do her 'Attack of 100 Clubs' and she cringed. A light touch on her shoulder made her flinch again and open her eyes wide. "I won't hurt you." She looked into Kodachi's face. "I hurt you enough before. But do you really want this? Think, Raiko! Don't twist your soul to match mine." Barry stepped away to the middle of the ring, leaving Raiko sobbing in relief in the corner.

* * *

At the Saotome residence, Nodoka looked at the TV and tried to make sense of what her eyes told her. The girl was not Kodachi. She moved like her, but was smaller, rounder in form. In fact, she looked like Ranma in girl-form with... Nodoka snapped to her feet. What the hellwas her son doing? It had to be him! 

She automatically took down the Saotome katana from its stand and wrapped it in its silk cover. Slinging it over her back, she headed for the door. She hesitated, trying to decide what it was she was going to do. Her initial response was to go over to the Tendo's and deal with Genma. Wonderful! He made their son a supreme martial artist. He also taught him to be dishonest, deceitful and, and… She froze completely and considered.

Ranma was not Genma. _He_ must explain this. He _better_ have a good reason.

* * *

Unaware of the coming trouble, Barry examined her form with care. She was in real pain now, with bruises springing up all over her body, her collarbone aching, one knee stiff. She looked at Shampoo. "Get Cologne over here, Amazon. I think somethin's wrong."

* * *

Akane held the long bow and the reed arrows traditional for the art of kyudo, or Japanese archery. This was not a skill at which she considered herself expert, but of all the women, only Shampoo knew archery at all and her style was for the short, horn bow used in the forests near her home. Akane didn't expect much, but hoped for the best. Especially since the judge today was the Master of the Imperial Guard. Akane really had nothing to lose. Nabiki's revenge would not be significantly diminished if she lost, and if she placed, or even won, so much the better. So she went through her warm-ups with a light heart and an easy spirit. 

The target distance was twenty-eight meters. But in kyudo, the object is not as much to strike the target but to demonstrate form.

"Greetings, Akane."

The girl immediately tensed. She half-turned toward her nemesis. "Kuno, don't come up behind me like that."

"What do you think of ...Ranma's decision?"

Akane considered him. "I don't like it. I wish he wouldn't do it."

Tatewaki nodded. "I feel it cannot but end in tragedy. Yet there is no persuading him... her... them." He swore softly to himself.

"I know. _Believe_ me, I know! And I am going to have a very long talk with him about it."

Kuno sighed. "We must give honor to the Master of the Guard. Let us put aside our thoughts of Saotome and do our best. Good luck, Akane Tendo."

As their turns came, they took position and released flights of arrows in sets of five. The Master, a tall, lean man with short dark hair watched critically. Kuno let go his flights with easy precision. Akane was stiffer to her place, but settled down quickly and tried to flow into her form. After the first set, she used her ki-vision to watch Kuno as he shot his second set. It helped her see where she was making her mistake.

She glanced at the Master and realized he was fully aware of her observation, and like her was using ki as part of his evaluation. After a moment, she decided he didn't have ki-vision, but his aura was strong and clear. She took a little longer to prepare for her next set and the arrows flew like extensions of her arm, striking the target with authority. She realized that the best competitors were all doing the same. The arrows became extensions of their will through ki-awareness. Her last flight was sure and when she finished, she found the Master standing directly behind her.

"Akane Tendo?"

She gulped. "Yes, Master?"

"If you had shot that well at the beginning of the competition, you would have won. I've never seen anyone improve so, especially in a single event."

"Thank you, Master." She bowed deeply and quickly.

"Who is your teacher?"

"My father, Soun Tendo of the Tendo dojo in Nerima trained me in kyudo. My fiancé, Ranma Saotome, is currently my sensei."

"Ah! Ranma was the young man in jujitsu this morning. And you are the girl who won karate earlier today. A pity." He smiled as she looked at him shocked. "You obviously have much invested in your own discipline, so I doubt I could convince you to change it. Very good shooting, Akane Tendo. You were a pleasure to watch, both earlier and now."

To his pleasure, Tatewaki Kuno won the men's division of kyudo.

* * *

Nodoka Saotome stood on the train for the university. She was too tense to sit, though seats were available. In half an hour, she would be there.

* * *

Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics and sumo were still in progress. 

Barry, a black eye marring Kodachi's classical beauty, cast her ki-vision along her body. If she was reading it right, her ki said she was suffering from numerous bruises, a broken arm and a broken collarbone. Her body was telling her that none of this was true, but the pain was real. Cologne listened to the description of the symptoms and the results with concern. "Ranma, you've got to slow down," she said crossly. "You have your whole life ahead of you, but not if you keep experimenting with every ki-technique you imagine will give you an advantage!" She felt the girl's aura with her hands and shuddered. "Is Kodachi's ki really this strange? I never really noticed. No wonder she's a loon."

Barry smiled slightly. "So, Cologne, what ails me?"

"Sympathy pains. Real, honest-to-kami, _magic_-related sympathy pains caused by the similarity between your aura, as it is now, and Kodachi's." She stamped her staff against the ground in disgust. "The only benefit I can see is that Miss Kuno will probably be healed of her injuries much faster than normal. Meanwhile, you are putting yourself through hell."

"Myself?"

"Yes! Your insistence in following this... 're-education program' for Kodachi's attackers is allowing this link to be established. Your own native ki should have begun a revertion. Instead, this happens!"

"Oh." Barry swallowed. She had a feeling that Barry Barlowe was in real trouble here. His ki was not native to this body and thus, was not reverting. "If I switch back to male, will it stop this?"

"Only one way to find out," Cologne said, bringing a kettle into view.

"Ow, dammit!" Barry felt himself expand and yelped again as the leotard pinched his male form. He was very aware of the ludicrousness of the makeup, but more importantly he was aware that his ki still mirrored the injuries.

"Ranma," Cologne said, shaking her head in dismay, "I'd say you have a real problem."

* * *

Akane and Tatewaki saw Nagasameru and stopped to watch the sumo finals. Shinzoo Tamanaki was fighting Watashi Hidetomi. They were both fast, powerful men and already both had gone out of the ring for a called no-decision. They grunted and thrust, twisted and stunted, two big men with superb reaction times and enough power to flip a car. Hidetomi suddenly gave way and hooked an ankle. Shinzoo hopped to clear the trip, then hopped again as he thrust his opponent sidewise. He landed badly, twisting his ankle. Hidetomi drove forward trying to catch his opponent at a disadvantage, but the uneven resistance he met forced him off balance. Shinzoo desperately hopped again, thrusting his opponent down and away. Hidetomi hit the floor rolling, while Shinzoo hopped twice more before crashing to the ground himself. 

But, he had won! He rose again unsteadily and greeted his opponent and the judge formally before receiving his accolade. Nagasameru jumped up and down in excitement and Akane jumped with her. Kuno smiled and watched the scenery, but kept his hands to himself, which was an unusually intelligent reaction. Nodoka spotted Akane as she entered the gym from outside. Had Tatewaki glomped Akane in her sight, and in the mood she was in, it might have been his last act in this life!

"Akane! Where is Ranma?" Akane turned at the unexpected voice and blanched.

"Aunt Nodoka! What's wrong? I thought you were..."

"I happened to catch the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics on TV. I..." She drew a deep, angry breath before continuing, "I need my son to explain precisely what he thinks he is doing."

Akane looked at the silk-wrapped bundle on her back.

Nagasameru and Tatewaki glanced at Nodoka curiously. They could feel the tension and shared in it somewhat, because Ranma's mother obviously disapproved of the situation. Only Akane knew just what that bundle was and what it might portend, and she was silent, filled with a combination of rage, fear and a sense of futility. She motioned Nodoka to follow her.

"Akane, I'll see you later at the awards ceremony," Nagasameru shouted as she moved off, feeling like a third wheel. "I'm going to go congratulate Shinzoo!" The girl with the huge sword hurried off.

Akane motioned Nodoka to follow and turned toward the locker rooms, trying to martial her arguments or find some way to deflect Nodoka's anger. Part of the problem was she wasn't sure _why _Nodoka was angry. Well, obviously, she recognized Ranma on TV somehow. And understandably she disapproved of Ranma replacing Kodachi. This, unfortunately to Akane, had tripped Nodoka's 'manliness' trigger (Why else the sword?); but exactly _why _it had, she would have to discover. Quickly! Somehow, she had to stop Nodoka from demanding Ranma's life.

Tatewaki walked beside the Saotome parent and considered his options. Obviously, she had recognized her daughter and was angry. Perhaps she felt that Ranma (girl) was cheating for Kodachi's benefit? He wasn't certain he understood the logic of the situation, but he was certain Ranma was in trouble. He, Tatewaki Kuno, could shield his love... How ridiculous! The pigtailed girl never accepted his help to begin with. She didn't like him; probably couldn't care less if he dropped off the face of the earth. He didn't question his sudden clarity of thought nor associate it with Barry's portrayal of his sister whom, deep down, he feared. Uncharacteristically, he walked silently, debating what he should do, if anything, to shield Ranma from her parent's wrath.

* * *

"It seems that your body is not resisting the alien ki-pattern. You've really done it this time, Ranma." Cologne looked peeved. Shampoo's eyes were huge. "This may become permanent."

"What can I expect, in the short term," Barry asked quietly, "if it does?"

"Well." Cologne examined the sympathy-induced injuries and shook her head. "You can expect to be laid-up while your body heals yourself _and_ Kodachi of her injuries. You can expect to change into a Kodachi-clone every time you get wet."

Barry shuddered. "And the long term?"

"It's possible, although very unlikely, that you will affect the Spring of Drowned Girl itself. A sort of feed-back loop. It's your cursed form that is affected, after all. It may change the spring into a Kodachi-iichuan."

"Aiya!" said Shampoo suddenly. "If wish to lose curse, Shampoo may end up like hyena-girl!"

"Probably not, great-granddaughter. The Nyanniichuan was designed to process the femininity, not the personality. Still, there is another aspect that Ranma may actually find a benefit from his viewpoint."

"What's that?" Barry asked. The thought of a magical spring that transformed people into Kodachi-clones… Brrrr!

"This will eventually alter your ki and personality. Perhaps not significantly from your point of view, but from the view of Amazon Law, you would not be considered the same person. You could be free of Shampoo's claim on you."

"What?" Barry and Shampoo yelped in an unplanned chorus. Shampoo was horrified anew, her incipient Kodachi-ness forgotten.

"Identity is not a function of the body in Amazon Law, a necessity when you consider the strangeness around White Mountain. While we would have to examine you after you stabilize..."

"You're up, Miss Kuno!" Someone poked a head in the door.

"It's early," Barry protested. Barry had faced off against a regular contestant in the last round, a girl with raw talent but largely untrained. She worked with her as much as possible to be merciful and then bound her in a ribbon, a classical Kodachi move, to put her down. She complimented her and advised her to contact the Hibiki's to refine her skills.

"You drew first match this round," the official said. "Don't be late."

"Crap! Cologne, I don't wanna be a Kodachi-clone." Her upset momentarily over rode the Kodachi speech patterns. "Figure out some way ta get me back." She limped out, Shampoo following. Cologne mused at the situation. She wondered how far she could push this?

Barry met Akane on the way out. "Unbelievable problems, Akane; speak with Cologne!" Barry groaned, limping past. "I drew first round this time, unfortunately! Oh, hello, Mother. I'll be back soon." She hurried past.

Nodoka, pale as a ghost, trembled. She slowly turned and looked after the girl. Wasn't that Kodachi? That _was_ Kodachi! But she called her 'Mother'! What had Ranma done?

* * *

Barry climbed the side of the ring feeling very weary. She blinked across at her opponent, relieved that it was the final girl from the morning's ambush, Lian Emeraud. Another competitor had eliminated the remaining girl, the second Hitori, in an earlier round. There was nothing she could do about her. At least, it would not impact the semifinals, if she beat this last opponent and withdrew thereafter. 

Lian Emeraud trembled as she faced Kodachi across the ring. She took in the eye, now swollen almost shut, the purpling on the arms, the swollen look to the legs. She had watched the matches carefully. None of those injuries came from the competition.

"Good afternoon, Lian," said 'Kodachi'. "Are you feeling well?"

"How?" asked Lian in a tiny voice.

"Martial arts technique," Barry said. "You might say I'm feeling this morning's _discussion_ far more now than I did then."

The referee called them to their places and gave them the order to begin. Neither girl moved or called to their seconds. Some questioning voices called from the audience.

In the announcer's booth, discussion was rampant.

"Kodachi Kuno is in the ring, but showing evidence of some injuries. We're trying to pin down a rumor that the Furinkan star was assaulted this morning before the match. It is easy to see that whenever she was injured, she is certainly feeling it now." The sports announcer shook his head. "There may be some question about whether she can even compete properly in this match. Will this be the end of her astonishing performance today?" Placing his hand over the microphone he turned to some of his technical advisors. "How the hell could that girl hide her injuries this long?"

"Martial arts," said one, sipping tea. "Mind over matter."

"Didn't think she had the self-control," commented another. "She's a spoiled brat, but she's showing guts here." He snickered and reached for a cookie from a complimentary tray. "What's funny, is that she has a reputation for ambushing her opponents to take them out of the match before they can compete. Most of her wins have been by forfeit. I'd say someone tried to return the favor."

"Hell of a thing. She's quite skilled," commented the first, reaching for a cookie of his own. "What's going on down there?"

"We did that?" Lian asked, horrified. "How can you stand it?"

"That doesn't matter. What matters is... your choice."

"My choice?"

Barry sighed. She had doubts about her ability when she came down to the ring and now she was sure. She would not be able to deal with Lian physically, if the other girl were even a half-decent performer. "I will fight you, and probably, you'll win. The choice is one I made a long time ago. Do you want to be like me?"

"I'm _not_ like you!"

"I played a different game, Lian. I savored my wins alone. Who else would I share them with? I promised a young man I would, for a change, do it differently today. I would compete fairly and meet my opponents face-to-face in the ring." Barry smiled wryly, wondering what Kodachi would think of this performance. "I have indeed been hoist on my own petard, as it were."

"Are you ladies going to compete?" asked the referee. "We have other matches today."

Lian looked at Barry horrified. "I won't fight her."

"What?" The referee looked at her. "Your opponent is in the ring. Fight or forfeit!"

Lian looked at the bruised, unsteady form of her opponent and shook her head. "I just can't hurt her anymore," she said.

"Miss Kuno, she has a point," the referee said. "There is every reason to claim that you are unfit to continue combat."

"Clubs," Barry snapped, drawing herself up. Shampoo arced the weapons to her and she fielded them, wincing. "Lian... make your choice."

"I... forfeit."

The referee shrugged and indicated the match was over, pointing to 'Kodachi' as the victor.

"Lian," Barry said, feeling the strain of the past hour-and-a-half keenly. "Don't let this stop you from competing. Perhaps some day, we will fight with honor." She smiled slightly and fell like a tree, hitting the mat with a bang.

"This is an amazing turn of events, ladies and gentlemen. If I understand correctly, Lian Emeraud refused to fight her badly injured opponent. The referee called into question Kodachi Kuno's ability to perform and Kodachi called for her weapon. Miss Emeraud again refused to fight her and forfeited the match. Kodachi passed out." The announcer was beside himself. "I've never seen anything like this! What chutzpah on one hand and mercy on the other! Both are true martial artists. This will mean that the winner of the Sokotara/Iietarimakura match will have a clear round and advance to the semifinals."

* * *

Barry regained consciousness briefly as Shampoo and Akane carried her out of the ring and again when they laid her on a bench in a dark, quiet room. In a daze, she heard muttering, felt her leotard removed and other clothes put on. Cologne's gravely voice rapped out commands. Then hot water sparked the change. 

He hissed and tried rise to a sitting position, but found he couldn't. He was paralyzed by a tsubo technique that shut down voluntary muscles below the neck. He lay on the bench with the sharp point of the Saotome katana resting against his throat. He still carried the stigmata of Kodachi's injuries as well, though the pain was less. He stilled himself, not even swallowing, as Nodoka came into focus. Cologne was to one side. Shampoo, eyes narrowed in hostility, was just behind her. Akane, face pale, was off to one side in the unnatural stillness of a similar tsubo paralysis.

"She was going to kill..." whispered Akane.

Shampoo slapped her.

"Who are you?" Nodoka whispered. The katana, its lovely layered length like ripples in oil, was very steady. The edge seemed to breathe the air.

"Barry Barlowe of the United States." The razor edged weapon quivered and steadied again.

"Where is my son, gaijin wizard?"

"I'm no wizard," Barry replied. "As for Ranma, we _think_ he's in my body, though we aren't certain yet."

"Silence! Just answer my questions. How long have you been... impersonating my son?"

"Since the business with Happosai at Himamashi's."

"Happosai caused this?" Nodoka's nostrils flared and Barry read death for the little pervert at Nodoka's earliest opportunity.

"Indirectly. I'd been here a month already. When Ranma and I fought him together, I think we accidentally tapped into the Nekoken." Barry centered himself and hoped Akane realized what he already knew. "Ranma couldn't avoid the cat, when neko activated while he was conscious; so he did what he always has done around cats since that training, tried to escape."

Nodoka continued her trip-hammer preparedness to attack should he say one thing wrong, and that would be her son's death. "How can we get my son back?"

"I don't know..."

"You're lying!" she accused.

"Ask Akane. Ask Ukyo, Nabiki and Ryoga; they were there when we tried the first time to get him back," Barry said. "Matter of fact, Shampoo was there for the second attempt. We just didn't tell her precisely what we were doing."

Cologne's eyes narrowed. "If that's what you were doing, it was a singularly stupid way to go about it," she commented.

"Cologne, we don't _know_ what we're doing," Barry growled. He ignored the point of the sword that drew blood at his throat. "Most of the ki-research we've been doing, outside of your business, has been to learn how to bring Ranma back and send me home."

"Spoken like a true amateur," sneered the Matriarch. "Why not simply come to me?"

"At what price?" Barry asked grimly. "Ranma and I had a month that we lived in each other's hip pockets. I know exactly how far he trusts you, and have his memories of every attempt, through coercion, drugs and magic, to force him to accept Shampoo." He glared at her. "_Ranma _chose to try without your help. When the accident happened, I chose to continue his path. While I'm stuck here, I'm honored to follow his lead."

The blade quivered again and he sensed it nick his throat. Its edge was like a razor and it practically roared with ki, much like Nagasameru's nodachi. Its aura was linked with Nodoka's and, through Ranma's blood, with him. "What is honorable about stealing my son's body?"

"Just remember that it _is_ your son's body! You get twitchy with that sword, Ranma's history."

"Sometimes a mother must follow honor rather than love."

Barry's lips pressed together in irritation. It was exactly this attitude that put a wall between Nodoka and her son. "Honor without understanding is empty and beneath contempt," he growled. He felt the quiver through the steel at his throat. It might only be another shift in balance, but he now had the measure of the tsubo point. He neutralized its effect. Far better to negotiate from strength! Like ice forming at high speed, the shield technique crackled up the length of living steel to encase Nodoka in a shroud of ki. With the tsubo technique neutralized, he slid from beneath the steel and blocked Cologne's initial attack, sending the old woman spinning away, but taking another tsubo strike that paralyzed his leg for a moment.

Barry shifted into the hidden technique of the Umisen, the quiet thief, to gain time, and prepared to release Nodoka before the unregulated shield technique could harm her. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Akane and Shampoo facing off to one side. He hesitated and Nodoka suddenly shivered and came alive, apparently discovering that she had control of the prison holding her.

Akane had, in fact, realized that the paralysis done by tsubo could be undone directly through ki-manipulation. She and Shampoo had time for a single series of blows before Barry flashed a small ki blast between them. Over her protests, he pulled Akane back and stepped inside a strike from Nodoka, who somehow could detect where he was. He backed away with the katana to join Akane in blocking the one door out of the room.

"I won't let you destroy my son," snarled Nodoka. She seemed either unaware or unconcerned that he had disarmed her. Her eyes bore into him.

Barry smiled sadly as she gathered herself to leap suicidally at him. He suddenly reversed the sword and held it out to her. The offer, from his position of strength, was enough to check her for now. She looked at the sweating, bruised young man who wore the face of her son. "Destroying your son is the _last_ thing I want, Nodoka Saotome."

"What is your game, Mr. Barlowe," Cologne growled.

"Call me Barry... or Barry-baka, which is what Ukyo seems to prefer. I'm as much a victim of circumstance as Ranma is and no happier that I'm here." He met Cologne's eyes with a confidence that was mostly show. "I have two main objectives to my game plan. One — Get Ranma back home in one piece and with no obligations beyond those he left with. Two — Get myself back home to my wife and son." He straightened; feeling the moment for violence had passed. "I have other, lesser objectives that I took on because of Ranma's honor and my own, including your business, Shampoo."

Shampoo's eyes narrowed. "What you do now, demon?"

"We go out and accept our awards at the closing ceremonies like _we're supposed to_," he said. "I'm not going anywhere and, provided we can reach a truce, I believe we can discuss our differences at Nabiki's apartment later."

* * *

Nabiki's apartment was a little crowded, with Barry, Akane, Ukyo, Ryoga, Shampoo, Cologne, Mousse, the twins, Nabiki and Nodoka crowded around her small table. Sakurida served tea and made herself scarce.

Cologne sipped her tea on the far side of the table from him, Shampoo beside her. "You say that a few weeks after the wedding disaster, you found yourself in Ranma's body. He continued in residence for a time; during which he trained you how to use his body..."

"Not exactly," Barry interrupted. "When I first arrived, I had a tendency to block Ranma's control of his own body when we were threatened. It wasn't something I could control. It was dangerous as well, because when it happened, Ranma's trained instincts acted to eliminate the threat. In the space of twenty minutes, both Akane and Nabiki nearly got badly hurt."

Nabiki sipped her own tea and commented, "I've meant to ask why was I a threat?"

"Shall we talk about all the money you've earned off him, the methods you've used, or the debts he still owes you?" Barry snorted and Nabiki had the good grace to blush. "Then we dealt with the fathers being jackasses as usual. That annoyed both of us and we found, when we agreed on our actions, control was possible. Ranma decided to go on a training trip to deal with me, then train Akane to the point where she had a chance against some of the more overt physical threats."

"He finally chose Akane?" Nodoka asked quietly. Shampoo bristled. It was one thing to expect it. Another to hear it confirmed by her airen's own mother…!

"I didn't say that," Barry said coldly. "He has not _publicly _chosen _anyone_! He anticipated Shampoo's attempt on Akane in the train station when she went to join him. Or, are you saying you were not trying to kill Akane?" He stared at Shampoo.

Shampoo gazed levelly back at him and shrugged. "I glad I fail," she said finally. "It right to remove obstacle by our customs, but it was wrong time. Maybe later, time comes, but not yet."

"After Ranma left," Barry continued, "I tried to do what I felt he would do, protect his friends. That's why I went looking for Ukyo. All I can say about the pretended ailurophobia, Shampoo, is 'I'm sorry.' Actually, I _like_ cats. I would much rather have rubbed you behind the ears than run from you." She sniffed at his comment. "I let Ryoga know what was going on, and planned to bring Nabiki, Kasumi and Ukyo in on it eventually."

"Why them and not me?" asked Shampoo angrily. "I love..."

"Shampoo," he interrupted, "I know you do. But you have a duty to _your _laws and _your _people,to which you would have to sacrifice your love. I had no desire to be yanked over to China if Granny, here, had some technique to enslave a wandering spirit, and all she wanted was Ranma as a mobile sperm bank! Ranma heard her say often enough that, where he was concerned, you're interested in breeding stock."

"We are," graveled the Matriarch. "However, we believe the spirit of the parent affects the offspring. Ranma is valuable. You are an unknown... and probably expendable."

"Gee, thanks! Well, if it comes to a choice between getting Ranma back and sending me home, I won't argue with you." Barry shifted uncomfortably and stared into his cup. "But, I have a wife and a son I'd like to see again. I'd appreciate it if we could at least _try _to send me back." Barry glanced from Cologne to Nodoka.

"You want our help," said Cologne, "but what do you have to offer?"

"Wrong emphasis," Barry said leaning across the table. "You _all _want Ranma. You have no chance of _ever_ getting him if I'm here and he isn't. I have ki-vision and the imagination to expand on it like nobody's business! Regardless of the mistakes I've made in experimentation, I'm better prepared to research and utilize ki-techniques than anyone alive… with one exception. Ranma is equally qualified. Take my word for it."

"Good point. Still, perhaps it would be better all around, if this broke Shampoo's commitment," Cologne said casually. "She could get on with her life..."

Barry smiled at the scandalized look Shampoo gave her relative. He answered equally casually, "Of course, if we get Ranma back without your help, it would look bad for Shampoo. And, Cologne, have you forgotten that agreement we made to help Shampoo with a certain problem?"

"Now that we have the scroll, I'm sure we can manage without your help."

"If you can trust the scroll. You'll have to depend on Mousse for that and, while he's very talented, I don't think he's up to it yet. Can you safely fix the problem with only Mousse to assist you? I don't think so."

Cologne was silent for a long moment. "Mousse, did you discuss the procedure with Ranma?"

Mousse glanced at Barry and nodded. "Last night, on your orders as you recall, I gave him a summary. I didn't see anything about multiple operators, though."

"You would have if you'd had more time to work directly with ki, Mousse."

"Impasse." Cologne looked old and angry.

"Not really," Barry said. "You see, I want to help Shampoo, regardless of what else happens. So would Ranma, if he were here. I wasn't joking about considering Ranma's honor my own."

"You have an odd way of showing it," Nodoka said. "Pretending to be Kodachi, fighting those poor girls who didn't have a chance..."

Barry rubbed his arm. "Those _poor girls_ beat the crap out of Kodachi this morning. True, one of the girls I fought was not involved, but she needs to train more anyway. I must admit if luck had been against me, I would have pursued them into the final, which would have created a problem. My objective was not revenge. It was to make sure they knew what they did was wrong, which I could only do by stopping them."

Nodoka looked doubtful. "If I understand correctly, Kodachi brought this on herself."

"It wasn't that simple, Mrs. Saotome. I talked Kodachi into competing without cheating. I was responsible for her choice. When the girls took her out, they used her own tactics on her, and I didn't want six or seven new Kodachi's springing up where before there was only one."

"You've abused my son's hospitality, though," insisted the irate mother. "You should have found a different way to solve your problem."

Barry looked at the tabletop. "You're right. I probably should have. If it had been Ranma..." Barry rolled his teacup between his hands. "Cologne, this is my offer. You help restore Ranma; I help cure Shampoo and the twins."

Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung glanced at one another. 'Cure?'

"And yourself?"

"I'll take what comes." He accepted some more tea and vaguely realized that Sakurida was still there.

"All right. And you want to maintain the status quo. Fair enough."

"First order of business though, is this Kodachi thing. While I don't mind helpin' her heal faster, I'd like Ranma to be able to recognize the place when he gets back." He nodded to Cologne. "Any ideas?"

"You need to do your mask technique again, but this time with Ranma's girl-type as the template for your transformation."

"Okay. How do I do that?"

Cologne stared at him. "How did you do it in the first place?" she snapped. "Use Happi's little trick in reverse!"

Barry looked thoughtful, and turned to Akane.

"Barry?" Akane looked uneasy.

"Cold water, please!"

She hurried to the kitchen and returned. There was a splash and Barry transformed. Everyone recoiled slightly as the Kodachi presence made itself felt. Barry stood unsteadily and focused. Kodachi's injuries did not make this any easier. Sweat poured down her face, but nothing happened.

"Oh, shit."

For the next fifteen minutes, Barry tried to focus. She tried meditation. She even tried to take a reading off Akane, who had memorized Ranma's signature... to no avail.

A knock came at the door. Sakurida opened it, to find Tatewaki standing in the hall. He nodded to her, glanced past her to Barry and, realizing what he was seeing, shuddered.

"Pigtailed... Ranma... Sasuke called." The _kendo_ist looked away uncomfortably. "He reported my sister is on her feet and very cross with him for preventing her from competing. So far, she has not caused any damage, but I fear this may not remain the case if I do not provide some suitable explanation. Could you?" He held up his cell phone. "The hospital staff was most cordial. I would prefer not cause them grief."

"Amazing, Kuno!" Barry just couldn't keep the language from languidly rolling off her tongue. "I think you may be changing into a genuine human being." She took the phone, stared at it then held it to her ear. It was dead. "Ummm... I haven't had the opportunity to use one of these previously. If you would, please?" Kuno wordlessly punched in a number and handed the phone back as it began to ring.

"Hello, Sasuke," Barry began. "Oh, yes, I do sound like her, don't I? No, you don't wish to hear me laugh. I don't appreciate the sound of it!" Barry frowned and listened, then cut the voice off. "Sasuke, simply explain to her that it is I, Ranma—! I hate that!" Barry muttered at the extravagant speech and forced herself to speak in Ranma's rougher patterns. "Look Sasuke, just get 'er on the phone so I can tell her what happened. Yeah, thanks!" There was a moment while Sasuke passed the phone.

"Hi, 'Dachi. Yeah, it's Ranma." She cringed a little as Nodoka frowned. "I'm glad ta hear yer feelin' better. You saw the coverage?" She listened for a moment, and continued, "Sorry 'bout that. I held on till all the girls that beat on ya were out of the runnin'. No, not really. The ki-technique I used doesn't come off well on TV; but unless you got a lota fans who know me... You don't believe that I, Ranma Saotome, could pull off a rendition of the dark blossom of the Kunos? Ohohohohoho, ho!" Barry grinned slightly. "Yes, you do sound like that! Even yer brother's twitchin'." There was another sally from the missing girl. "Fer some reason, my disguise technique crossed over into magic and yer healin' faster cause _I'm_ feelin' the pain. Yeah, don't worry 'bout that. My big problem is I might be stuck as yer twin sister and I don't think ya want the competition. Didn't think so! You take it easy. We'll see ya Monday. Bye!" She handed the phone back to Tatewaki.

"Granny, ya got any suggestions that might help?"

"Bar—!" She glanced at Kuno and changed her form of address, "Ranma, you have only a limited amount of time to change back. With the Kuno girl's link distorting things, it may already be too late!" She stamped in frustration. "If only I had my Hentaime The."

"Your hentai _WHAT_?" Barry expostulated.

"It's a maze pattern used for self-awareness. Joketsuzoku mages use them to center our wa before difficult workings."

Sakurida stood up and left the room. Everyone jerked, suddenly realizing she had been there all along. They glanced nervously at one another, none of them willing to admit a lapse in their awareness.

Barry puzzled over Sakurida and her sister. He was wondering why no one objected to her presence earlier. Apparently, no one noticed she was there, not even Cologne! Little suspicious thoughts tumbled around in his head, before shooting themselves messily for treason. Sakurida wouldn't do something like that, would she? Barry examined Sakurida intently with ki-vision as she re-entered the room. The girl was carrying something.

"Where did you get that?" Cologne asked in surprise.

With everyone in the room focused on her, she held out a bronze disk about ten centimeters across with an intricate spiraling pattern on it. Sakurida smiled nervously as she presented it for inspection. "When Ranma said 'hentai what', I remembered this plaque my older sister gave me. It's a copy of a piece she conserved on an archeology site. I remembered she called it a hentai-something or other..."

Cologne snatched the disk and examined it. "Yes... Yes, this will work! The original came from Yamato providence? Very well kept." She turned to Akane. "Do you have a lock of hair? Anything of Ranma's girl-type?"

Akane, out of the conversational loop for some time now, started and shook her head. "Why would I have something like that?"

"Curses! Did Ranma's hair get trimmed before you dyed it? No, that won't work, he had already changed his aura by then."

"Why do you need it, Cologne?"

"As a template, Ranma! You need a good solid source of ki matching your goal." Cologne shrugged. "Some of your pre-transformed hair would be perfect."

"Would this do?"

Again help came from an unexpected source. Tatewaki Kuno held out a locket with two locks of hair in it. One was black and the other red. He stood, wordlessly offering it to them.

"Are you certain that I am the source of this hair, Kuno?" Barry asked, reaching out delicately, then hesitating, concerned she might pollute the ki-source.

"Guaranteed," said Nabiki to the ceiling.

Akane frowned. "We all know whose black hair that is, don't we, Nabiki?" she growled, already knowing the answer, but her sister pretended not to hear.

"All right, this is what you will do." Cologne sat Barry down lotus position and set the disc in her lap. "Hair, here." She placed the lock of hair in the center of the maze. "Now hands like this." She placed Barry's hands palms up, the center two fingers folded in against the palm, at the outside of the disk so that her hands crossed over one another, hiding the disc and the hair beneath her parallel hands.

"Why like this?" Barry asked. It felt awkward and uncomfortable.

"So you reveal what was concealed, boy!" snapped the exasperated Cologne. She placed each finger so that each of the four paths from the outside of the disc was matched with a pinkie or an index finger. "Now center yourself. Focus on the hair. I'll turn the pattern beneath your hands; just let your fingers in the grooves guide you to the pattern's center. Slowly draw your fingers in, closer and closer... Move slowly, you don't want to rush it."

Barry focused on the lock of hair at the center of the pattern. She traced the inward pattern, drawing in her awareness with the tracing fingers. Something seemed to burn behind her head. She experienced tunneling vision, and Cologne's voice became hollow and distant. As her fingertips reached the pattern's end, she found they framed the hair between her outstretched digits. As she focused, her breathing slowed, and she felt herself falling in toward the red-gold strands. Focus... C-H-A-N-G-E...

"Pigtailed girl!" (GLOMP!)

"Gaah!" Success!

(WACK!) Kuno dropped away, stunned by the simultaneous application of Cologne's staff and the sheathed Saotome katana.

Barry observed the twitching form almost sadly. "Hell of a thank you for his help," she observed. The bruising from Kodachi's injuries was fading away rapidly and she felt restored to normal.

"Would you rather thank him in a manner pleasing to him?" asked Nodoka archly.

"Not a chance, Nodoka," Barry replied unhesitatingly. She handed the hentai-whatever-it-was to Sakurida, then took the lock of hair and returned it to the Blue Thunder's locket.

Akane frowned. "Why give it back?" she asked.

"His fantasy saved my butt, Akane," Barry said, "and maybe Ranma's as well. Let's not begrudge him that when he has no chance for anything else."


	43. Manliness

**Guest Ki: Chapter 42**

_**Manliness**_

Tatewaki left Nabiki's apartment shortly thereafter to see to his sister, apologizing for his behavior to the Saotome matriarch and stressing that the height of his passion drove him to ill-considered actions. She nodded politely at his nonsense and, as soon as the door closed, looked to the ceiling, shaking her head in disgust.

"So now what?" Barry asked. She looked at Cologne, Shampoo and Nodoka. They glanced at one another and back at her.

"I think we need to establish some basis of trust and cooperation," Cologne said finally. "As well as decide who else will be informed of the situation. We need assurances of your intentions."

"The best assurances are my past actions, Cologne," Barry replied off-handedly.

"You had better speak more persuasively, Mr. Barlowe." Nodoka watched the redhead with glittering eyes, her katana resting across her arms. To the uninformed it did not look like a threatening posture, but Ranma's memories told Barry it was like a gun with the hammer back. "Prove to me your good intentions."

"If my past actions aren't enough, Mrs. Saotome, nothing will be."

"Your past actions are a set of lies that abused the trust of everyone you dealt with," snapped Nodoka.

"You, madam," retorted Barry, coldly, "are angry because _you_ were among the uninformed!"

"As Ranma's mother, I should have been informed of this at the very beginning!"

"Under normal circumstances, I would agree," Barry grated as he tried to regain control. There was no sense antagonizing her further. But how to put this politely...

"Normal circumstances? What circumstances should divide a mother from her son?"

Barry grimaced. How do you tell a mother gently that her son suspected she was a loon and a pervert?

"I'm waiting." Nodoka growled.

Nabiki decided that it was time to insert her voice into the discussion before anyone else inserted a foot. "And while we're waiting, why don't we work out some sort of arrangement, like Cologne suggested?"

"Who else knows about Barry at this point?" demanded Nodoka, still upset by the revelations of the past few minutes.

"Me," said Nabiki, ticking off fingers, "you, Ukyo, the Amazons, Ryoga and Akane." She tilted her head. "I think we should tell Kasumi." There was a murmur of agreement.

"The fathers?" Barry suggested, mostly in hopes of immediately quashing the concept. The look of horror was greatest on the faces of the Tendos and Saotomes present. It was unanimously decided _not _to tell the fathers. Nodoka's concerns included a constant parade of spells, charms and potions that they might attempt to induce Ranma's return. It was bad enough that Barry had been 'experimenting'. If those idiots got involved, who knew what would happen!

"And Baradandya Morisato," Barry added. They looked at him.

"Why her?" asked Cologne, mildly.

Barry pointed to Sakurida who stood behind them with a kettle of hot water that she proceeded to hand to Barry. Everyone else in the room proceeded to do a double-take _again_! Cologne massaged her temples, her face a study of aggravation and astonishment. She hopped over to Nabiki's roommate and gave her a long, searching look. Sakurida gulped and endured her regard with an extremely nervous body set. "You are Baradandya's sister?"

"Yes," Sakurida said hopefully. She smiled, looking unbelievably cute and harmless. It was disgustingly effective, but the old bat just glared at her. "I can keep a secret," she added nervously.

"Actually, she is quite good at that," Nabiki interceded. "Keeping a secret, I mean, as well as being unobtrusive. The only downside is that she doesn't even tell _me_ what she hears."

"Very well," Cologne said finally. "I've found the memory erasure tsubo to be unreliable, anyway."

Nabiki smiled, so far, so good. She glanced at her sister and the smile dropped. She noted that the drawn appearance she had seen when she was home last month was getting more severe. Akane was probably down five kilos from her pre-Barry weight and the circles under her eyes made them look huge. Nabiki felt her throat tighten. Why did her little sister have to take all this crap? She glanced at Barry and saw that he, too, was watching her little sister with concern.

Nabiki considered the problem. She had no illusions that it was going to be easy to get Ranma back and, if they failed, she wanted a backup plan. Considering Akane's original attraction to Tofu, because of his maturity, Barry might just do as that backup. She doubted he would agree, of course,at least not without a fight, but she had resources and was as sneaky as they came. As she watched, Barry turned his eyes on her and frowned as she schooled an innocent expression. She grimaced. That had been a mistake. She had his full attention now, suspicious, since _Nabiki_ and _innocent_ did not exactly go together.

"What is it, Nabiki?" he asked, eyes narrowed.

Nabiki thought fast and hoped he hadn't figured out how to read minds with his techniques. "Now that we've decided who should be in the know, I was thinking... Perhaps we should establish a contract of responsibilities for all concerned."

Cologne eyed her. "How do you suggest we do that?"

"How else do you guarentee an agreement?" Nabiki replied smoothly. "You Amazons have ki-techniques and experience in magic. Barry and Akane have ki-vision and are developing new techniques daily or are discovering how and why old techniques work." She waited for Cologne's nod. "Now, I'm not sure what Shampoo needs, but if I understand correctly, you need Barry and Akane to make it work." Cologne nodded again.

"Barry and Akane have already agreed to help with Shampoo," Cologne rasped. "If we can trust their integrity..." Akane growled "...and I really have no reason to believe otherwise," she added hastily. "That has been decided."

"In addition," Nabiki suggested, warming to her work. "Ukyo and Ryoga have compiled a library of translations of arcane literature that might have some bits of interest in it, despite your own expertise in magic and ki. That has value as well."

"Perhaps," Cologne hedged.

"Well, in return for access to that library, perhaps you could help Ranma return and send Barry back home. Without, of course, special controlling spells, or mushrooms, or other assorted compelling additions." Nabiki smiled warmly at Cologne and Shampoo. The latter looked uncomfortable. She had been personally responsible for the stupid hugging mushroom disaster.

"In addition, I could help Shampoo develop her ki techniques, if you like," Barry began.

Shampoo stamped her foot. "Shampoo want nothing more to do with you," she snapped. "Grandmother will train! Mousse will train! When airen get back, airen train!" Barry nodded and turned away.

"Well, then," Nabiki said. "Let's get this all typed up, shall we? Everyone will get their copy and we'll all know exactly what is expected."

"Penalty clause," Barry suggested.

"Those are two words that would immediately brand you an imposter," smirked Nabiki. "How do you know about penalty clauses?"

"My father was a lawyer."

"I'm impressed." Nabiki replied.

"A demon would have been safer to deal with," muttered Nodoka.

"Did you say something?"

"So, what do we do for penalties?" demanded Akane. She'd seen TV dramas revolving around legal small print! Her thoughts imagined a series of pitfalls, designed to take Ranma from her.

"It can't have anything to do with Ranma, because he's not here to represent himself," warned Barry. "No deals awarding him to one group or another."

"You children have been studying the ki-techniques," suggested Cologne. "Violation of the agreements would mean cessation of your assistance and loss of access to the research you've been turning up." The ancient woman smiled. "Or, am I incorrect that you've been showing us only what you've found regarding techniques applicable to Shampoo's problem?"

Shampoo turned and gaped at Cologne's suggestion. "I am not going to train with…"

"You will do as I say, child," Cologne snapped. "In this case, Miss Tendo was perfectly within her rights to hide this. A very Amazon approach, in fact, since you are competing for Ranma." She waved down Shampoo's objections. "As for Mr. Barlowe, he was also within his rights to protect himself as best he could."

"But..."

"That is my final word."

"That's a generous attitude, Cologne." Barry stepped closer to the old woman and crouched down to her eye level.

"Don't cross me, Barry-baka," Cologne warned. "I do have methods for dealing with spirits like you. You Americans don't exactly inspire me as prime examples of honorable people."

"I'll try ta change yer mind, Granny" (BOP!) He rubbed his head and winked at her, as she held her staff over him, eyes narrowed. He rose again, looking soberly at everyone. "Let's type up the contract and sign off. It's been a long day."

Nabiki's computer was put to use and after Barry reviewed the draft — and told Nabiki to put the entire contract in large print — they signed, with Sakurida, Nodoka and Nabiki serving as witnesses. Barry almost began to sign the kanji Ranma used as a signature. Then he loosened up his wrist with a few circular motions and penned his legal signature in roman-ji script — _Bartholomew T. Barlowe. _

As they prepared for the trip home, Barry checked on who would be traveling with them. Nagasameru and Shinzoo said were staying to talk to some friends from their hometown. Ryoga was honor-bound to escort Akari and Katsunishiki back on foot. When Ukyo said she was going to check Konatsu's accounts and collect the ghost stories offered for the special, they were sure she would miss the train. She caught up with them literally at the station.

* * *

Nodoka, Akane, Ukyo and the five Amazons stood or sat silently in the car on the ride home. Nodoka placed herself nearest to Ranma's guest, watching him with glittering eyes. Barry tried to ignore her without being impolite. 

"Mr. Barlowe," Nodoka whispered as they rode the train back to Nerima, "it just occured to me that you will be dating several dozen young ladies at Furinkan High. Exactly what are your intentions there?"

He fixed her with a glare. "Aren't you the woman who was _so thrilled_ that so many girls wanted Ranma? So much so you agreed to work extra evenings to give them more time?" Nodoka blushed. Barry continued with a grimace, "I didn't ask for them and Ranma wouldn't want tangled up with them." She frowned, obviously wanting more information. "I try to be nice, compliment them truthfully on their appearance or talents and help them with homework. As for the few who are hoping for 'manliness'…?" Nodoka glared at the word. "If they want a little... intimacy, I make it very, _very_ clear that anything approaching sex with me would activate a curse making Happosai a regular guest in their bedrooms." Nodoka looked shocked. Behind her, Ukyo and Shampoo snickered. It was one reason none of them had felt obliged to shadow the dates. "None of the normal girls are willing to risk _that_!" Barry stated confidently. "They all know about the little pervert and it helps suggest why the old fart hangs around."

As they disembarked, Nodoka took Barry by the arm. He couldn't read her expression well in the artificial light, but could feel her resolve. "You, sir, are coming with me."

Akane's head snapped up panicked. She tried to calm herself. This wasn't Ranma, after all.

"Okay. Why, though?" Barry was very aware of Akane's disquiet.

"I think it inappropriate for a stranger be in such close proximity to my son's fiancée." Nodoka kept her eyes on Barry's. She was not accepting any compromise in this.

"We aren't doing anything," Akane finally snapped. "Why would you think we're..."

"Akane, child, even granted that Barry is an honorable man, you are too much in his company. Especially with the stress you are under."

"She's talking about rebound, Akane," Barry offered. "She's worried you'll transfer your feelings to an inappropriate alternative with Ranma gone." He jerked a finger at his chest and watched her sag. "And of course, there's always the chance that I'll be too tempted by your proximity and try ta 'have my way'with you."

Akane's head shot up and she gave a morbid, depressed snicker. "Jeez, Barry! Get _real_!"

"Yeah, yeah. I know, I know... Gwen's hooked me and I don't want thrown back." Barry turned back to Nodoka who boggled slightly at the by-play. "I need to pick up my… _Ranma's_ stuff, anyway. And we'll want to talk to Kasumi; let her know what's happened, so she can be there to support Akane." Nodoka nodded. Barry turned toward the Amazons who were preparing for the walk to the Nekohanten. "Shampoo," Barry called softly. The Amazon turned and he sensed brittle, angry control. "When we come over to check the scroll..."

"Mousse go Saotome house! Mousse say what on scroll there. No come to Nekohanten again." She suddenly leaped away over the rooftops into the gathering dark. Ukyo began to move after her, but Barry blocked her.

"What? Get out of the way, baka," she snarled. "I know how she feels."

"Yeah? And remember what you woulda done to me when I followed you over the rooftops? Shampoo is way better than you are, Ukyo. You push the wrong buttons and she'll kill you."

"I'll go." Mousse looked out over the skyline. "I've learned the tracking technique now and I'm accustomed to being used as a punching bag." He turned to Barry. "It's kind of funny. I was becoming really disturbed by the idea I was beginning to _like _Saotome. Now that I know the truth, it lifts a great weight from my soul." He was totally serious. He sprang after the departed Joketsuzoku woman.

"Kids," Cologne snorted in disgust. "Mr. Barlowe, Mousse will meet you tomorrow at the Saotome house to go over the scroll with you. Per our agreement, you have promised to help Shampoo regain her birthright before we continue seeking a way to return Ranma."

"I'm not happy about that," commented Nodoka.

"If Ranma is where Barry and Akane suspect he is," Cologne pointed out, "he's safe enough for now. If he isn't there..." she shrugged. "It would have been too late before anybody even started." She pogo-ed away.

"Mr. Barlowe?" Nodoka touched his arm.

"It's a good thing I've never practiced Ryoga's Shishi Houkudan."

"I'd join you," chorused Ukyo and Akane, glumly. They glanced at one another.

"Let's make sure Ukyo gets home, then get your stuff," suggested Akane. The four set off for Ucchan's.

"Mrs. Saotome," Barry asked suddenly, "are you still going to be helping Ukyo like you've been doing?" Nodoka had been covering the lunch rush at the restaurant while Ukyo was at school.

"Of course! I understand that this is being done for my son's benefit."

"Thank you."

Ukyo was returned to her home and Akane promised to stop by early in the morning, just in case. Nodoka was puzzled, till Barry explained Ukyo's recurring loss of direction. "Ukyo," Nodoka said, "would you like to stay with me? Just to be on the safe side?"

"Thank you, no, ma'am," Ukyo refused gently. "I have to make sure the grills are ready for the early lunch business before I go to school." She shot a look at Barry and shivered. "I... really think I'll be okay."

After assuring Ukyo was safe, home, they walked the five blocks to the Tendo dojo. Akane sought for various people with her locator sense. Using Nabiki as a gauge, Ryoga and Akari must nearly be back from the university. She checked for Cologne and found her south and west of the Nekohanten. Mousse and Shampoo, she located a couple blocks away in the same general area. Kasumi and her father were somewhere ahead. "Check around for Happosai," Barry suggested, recognizing what she was doing. Happosai was east of them, somewhere in Tokyo, but not close. She started when Nodoka placed her hands on their shoulders and turned them to face her.

"Now that we're alone, I'd like to hear why you both had so little trust in me that I couldn't be informed my son was in danger." The lights were behind her and they couldn't see her face, but her aura roiled. Apparently, Nodoka was not one for public scenes, but her posture and spirit were accusatory and Akane chose to take it personally.

Akane glided over and took the katana from Ranma's mother before she could react. She held it up in front of Nodoka's face. "Does this look familiar?" she asked scathingly. "_This_, and what it stood for, is why we didn't trust you!" She thrust it back into Nodoka's hands. "The _only _reason I told you about Barry today was because I thought you were going to kill your son for '_unmanly_' behavior," she snarled. "You wouldn't even listen..."

"Akane," Nodoka snapped, regaining her voice, "how dare you!"

"I dare because for more than a year I've watched Ranma flinch every time you showed up with that damn thing slung over your back!" Akane snarled. "And you ask _why _we didn't trust you?"

Nodoka flinched herself. "He... But, I love my son."

"And he loves you. I'm afraid Akane's observation has some basis, though," Barry said. "I mean, you _said_ Ranma was manly enough, but when you continued to carry that sword around..."

"Genma would steal it, if I didn't," Nodoka protested. "The original hilt was replaced long ago, but the blade is a Masamune. It's the last treasure of the Saotome house." Akane stared at her, at the sword, then looked at Barry who shook his head in frustration. "You can't mean that Ranma still thought I was holding him to..." Nodoka horrified voice trailed off to incredulous silence.

"Yup," Barry said. "Sorry."

"Why did you act like that?" Akane demanded of Nodoka. "You were always pushing him about his 'manliness'! What about the peeping, having mistresses and the..." Akane asked, blushing. "What else was he supposed to think?"

"Well, of course, I would hope my son was interested in girls. He's the only child I have, and I do want grandchildren!" Nodoka huffed, but her eyes were haunted. "Genji is not an overpowering influence on me, Akane! But I would hope my son has some aptitude for dealing between his women." Akane started to turn red.

"Nodoka," Barry interjected, "have you noticed that all the girls interested in Ranma want _exclusive_ rights to him?"

"Well, yes; but..."

"Do you want to share Genma?" She glowered at him. "I rest my case."

* * *

Somehow Barry was not surprised when Kasumi took everything in stride. With Soun and Genma out celebrating the tournament victories, Kasumi was alone when they arrived. The women left it up to him to tell the tale, which he did over tea at the family table. He apologized to her first, told her straight out what had happened, then waited for her to ask questions. 

"Actually, I'm relieved," the eldest Tendo said.

"What?" the others face-faulted.

"I was afraid something had happened between Ranma and Akane."

Nodoka almost sputtered before she regained a measure of calm. "How can you be so..."

"Confident?" Kasumi smiled wanly. "First, this is Ranma we're talking about. I've never known him to fail in anything he's decided to do. Secondly, I didn't notice any difference between Barry and Ranma, except that Barry has been driving Akane very hard, and himself even harder. Aunt Nodoka, you're acting like you only just met Barry, but he's been here for weeks. Put aside the fact he hid from you and look at what he's done. I understand why, now." She turned to her sister. "Oh Akane, how terrible this must have been for you!"

Barry felt tears spring to his eyes at the compassion in her voice. For Akane, it struck deep to her heart and opened the floodgates. She suddenly was clinging to Kasumi and weeping the huge wracking sobs that she held back or had hidden since Ranma had gone.

They walked to the Saotome house in silence.

* * *

Inside the house, Nodoka grimly prepared a late dinner. Genma came back from the bars and criticized his son about his performance in jujitsu. Barry responded to Genma's criticism with Ranma-like anger and they departed outside to spar. Nodoka was soon treated to Genma flying past the window. She listened in as she always did. 

"So, Pops... When ya gonna tell her about the girls?"

"Don't rush me, boy!" Genma struck with a wheeling kick reminiscent of a South American form. "I'll pick my time."

"How much longer ya gonna take?" Barry growled sliding into the form and making Genma pay with a series of short sharp, chopping blows to the head and neck. "It's been what? Sixteen years?" Genma staggered away and shook his head. Suddenly he ducked down, lifted a bucket and slung a splash of water at his son.

Barry flung up his arms and unleashed a wave of heat at the water. It burst into steam. "Ouch!" He dodged away. "I'll get that right, yet."

"That's not fair," Genma complained.

"Excuse me?" Barry laughed. "'That's not _fair_'? Why doncha learn the technique?"

"I'm too old. Besides, it's beneath my dignity to learn from my student."

"Is it beneath yer dignity ta live?" Barry growled. Suddenly his aura was flaring bright. Nodoka froze; she couldn't see them from her position, but she could tell the backyard was lighting up. She took a chance and peeked around a window. She saw Barry glowing with an eerie luminance. Turning, she ran for the katana. Genma wasn't much, dammit! But he was _hers_! She raced back to the door to the garden, sprang outside and stopped. "Ha, ha-ha! You shoulda seen yer face!"

"Boy! You... I don't know why I bother," Genma growled. He was obviously sweating buckets, but completely unharmed.

"Really, Pops! Ya get dragged inta these things all the time," Barry chided him. "I'd hate ta be standin' over yer grave cause ya needed a technique yer too lazy to learn. It's not fair to Mom, either." He grinned again. "I think yer problem is that ya don't feel strong enough ta survive Natsume and Kurumi when they learn the truth. So train already!"

"Ha-ha! That's what I have you for, son," Genma chuckled with false hilarity. Barry shook his head in disgust.

"Panda brain," Barry snarled. Genma backed away again. "That's fine, if I planned ta be yer bodyguard the rest of my life!" He stomped forward. "This is a fight yer gonna hafta fight. And _soon_!" Barry stomped past Ranma's mother and into the house. "'Scuse me, Momma," he said loudly on the way in.

Genma spun and shrank as he saw Nodoka with the katana in her hand. "Dear! How long have you been there?"

Nodoka realized that Barry had given her the opportunity to confront Genma about his daughters. It was also possible that he was hoping to keep her busy with them. She decided to punt the issue... for now. "I just came out to call you for dinner. Is something wrong, dearest?" she asked innocently.

"Uhhh...I'm not really hungry this evening. If you don't mind, I need to go out and think." Genma was pale.

"It's your favorite."

"Dim s... No! I'm... I'll be back later." He moved past her, through the house and out the door.

Barry sat at the table, head on his hand, so much like her son that she frowned as she entered. He glanced up, saw the frown and said, "I hope yer not gonna be like Ukyo and pound me when I'm too much like Ranma."

"Does she?"

"Yup, we got off on the wrong foot. Worse than you and I did in some ways." Barry stretched. "Where's Genma?"

"He went back out."

"Without dinner? I must have gotten through to him better than I thought."

"Were you trying to make me address the issue of Genma's daughters?" Nodoka inquired, moving out to the kitchen to get dinner.

"If ya wanted to. But I'm not surprised ya didn't. You kinda have a full plate as it is." Barry rose as well. "Need any help?"

"I set the table earlier, but I would appreciate help with dishes."

Barry complimented Nodoka on dinner, and helped her clean up afterwards. He sat down again and waited for her to show her hand. She took her time, preparing tea and kneeling comfortably beside the table as she had done at dinner. It was getting late, but she seemed to be in no hurry. He wondered how Akane was doing and barely refrained from cracking a yawn. At least she seemed to have calmed down after that heart-to-heart about the family sword.

"Mr. Barlowe, why do you suppose you have been placed in my son's body?"

He blinked. "You mean, presuming there is a higher consciousness at work here?"

"I suppose." She sipped her tea, eyes on the table top.

"I don't know. I've been trying so hard to get Ranma back and myself home that I haven't given it any thought." He frowned. _Was_ there some higher purpose here? If there was, did that mean when the purpose was fulfilled, he could return?

"This is so strange and so... I'm trying to understand why this happened." He saw tears threaten and be controlled. "Has Ranma really been afraid I would use this?" She indicated the katana.

"He's not afraid of that, not for himself. He worries occasionally that you'll use it on Genma."

"The idea has been tempting," she replied quietly, contemplating a panda rug.

"Heh-heh! Seriously, though, Ranma's not afraid of death. At least not his own. But he does have a few fears: A big one is that he'll disappoint you. To him, that katana symbolizes the possibility that you don't love him, because he doesn't live up to your expectations." Nodoka's face went white. "If he knew that you loved him, he'd gladly chop himself into little bits if you asked."

"Then, whenever I came carrying the katana..."

"He saw it as his mother saying, '_Prove_ to me that you deserve to be loved'." Barry saw the look of horror she gave the weapon and smiled sadly, knowing what was going through her mind. "Just tell him when he gets back," he said softly as silent tears started down her face.

"You did so well at impersonating my son, Barry-san," she said striving to move past the horror that her son had doubts about what she felt for him. "How did you do it?" Nodoka poured him some more tea, then allowed him to refill her cup.

"I was inside his head with him for a month, Mrs. Saotome. And I have performed on stage, though it was only at a collegiate level." He savored the tea, so different from western tea. "Ranma is... _unique_. I've never met anyone like him." Barry stared at the wall and rolled the china cup between his hands. "I'm not talking about his curse, either. I'm talking about his ethics, his drive, his passion for excellence and his forgiving nature. You should be proud of your son, Nodoka Saotome."

Barry hated to see a woman weep.

* * *

Ranma looked at the package in his hands. He looked at Gwen. She put the car in reverse and backed away from the barn. 

"Think of it as an early birthday present."

As she pulled out of the driveway, he tore open the package and pulled out a hardback book, _Journeys Beyond the Body_. He opened to the table of contents and saw listings for cases of out-of-body experiences, second sight, dreams... He turned to Gwen. "Why?" he laughed.

"You've only been talking about it all this week," she snorted. She reached over and patted his leg. "I figured I'd indulge you just this once."

"Thanks!" He began to flip through the book.

"Why do you want that stuff, anyway?"

Ranma froze imperceptibly and grinned. "It's just... _stuff_. Something weird happened to me when Buddy threw me. I'm trying to figure out what happened and what it might mean." He was playing with fire he knew, but he learned in the last week that not having some kind of answer for her would be worse. Gwen scared the hell out of him once before by going all feminine and sexy when she wanted him to do something. A little information, leaked out now and then, kept things on a safer level.

She shot a glance his way with some concern. "You had an out-of-body experience?"

"Not exactly." He tried to decide what to tell her. "I felt like I traveled somewhere."

"You did," she chuckled. "From the horse to the ground."

"Hah. Hah. Very funny." He was silent for a moment, leafing through the book.

"Are you really serious, Barry?" He didn't answer her right away. "You're scaring me," she said.

"Boo!"

"_Barry_!"

"Sorry, Gwen. If I can find what I'm lookin' for in here, I'll explain. I just don't have the words to tell ya what happened." He reached over and patted her arm.

Gwen sighed, exasperated. "You've just been acting so strange, lately. I hope you can work out your problems soon. How was work?"

Ranma closed the book with a snap and told her, starting with the sale of Buddy and the attitude he was getting from Bob and finishing with the rescue of the horse today and Bob's lack of gratitude.

Gwen fumed, forgetting the book now. "I can't believe it! Why is he acting this way?"

"I'm not sure." Ranma rubbed the back of his head in thought. "Something about liability. He's got something on his mind, that's for sure!"

The drive home was uneventful. Ranma caught Brendan in mid-air as he came off the porch in a leap. Gwen sighed and shook her head, then goosed Ranma as he roughhoused with the boy. At least he was acting like he felt better. Maybe she could get some 'action' this evening.

Ranma had other ideas. He was totally absorbed by the information in the book. After a shower and dinner, he sat in bed and continued to pour over the book. A lot was pure fantasy, or at least not ki-oriented. Some looked like it might prove interesting. And since this book was a compilation of stories and had an extensive bibliography...

He chuckled to himself. Barry's memories might get him out of a bind here. Ranma was not a scholar of anything outside martial arts, a pattern of behavior the old man had forced on him and he failed to question. To be honest, Genma made Ranma go to school with Akane _only_ to keep them in each other's presence. _Bibliography _was just so much gobbelty-gook until he glanced at that page in the book. Suddenly, Barry's memories offered him the information that these were listings of far more extensive writings on individual stories in his book. 'So, that's what resource material is,' he thought. Now he could browse through this and anything that looked promising, he could go back to the library and…

"Watcha doin' this evening, handsome?" Gwen slid into bed with him. Ranma immediately considered that Barry's memories were going to get him into trouble here. She expertly lifted an arm and snuggled close, fitting against his side with easy familiarity. He barely restrained a flinch. Inwardly he cringed as a flame-eyed Nodoka stood above him with a dripping katana. 'Are you a man?' she growled. The image was replaced by an angry, crying Akane. 'Pervert! I knew I couldn't trust you.' A mallet swung. He shivered. He'd rather face the katana than make Akane cry again. He let his arm lay where it was, as Gwen had a sort of death-grip on it, and quickly scanned around for some distraction to offer her. His ki-vision was operating again. He searched for Brendan. He was soundly asleep. He searched for the others in the house — asleep or busy elsewhere. He was astonished at what he saw in Gwen's mother. He had never seen the aura of anyone so ill before. In the body and organ-function layers of her ki, he could finally see the imbalance and inactivity when compared to Gwen's or his own.

"Barry?" Gwen stroked his chest and squeezed him to get attention.

"Wha—? Oh! Sorry, Gwen. Just thinking about your mom."

The warmth of her aura changed and chilled like his soul-of-ice technique. Her grip became tighter and he felt her shudder. He put the book down and turned toward her. This level of grief required comfort. 'The life of a martial artist is fraught with peril.' This scared him silly. He put both arms about her and rocked her, as Barry would have, had he been there.

"Thanks," Gwen said finally. She sighed, maintaining her hold and snuggled even closer. "This is nice," she whispered. "I really missed just having you _hold_ me this past week."

"Oh?"

"Yes. You've been sore... or something," she added darkly. "And it's so hard dealing with this, anyway. Sometimes, I just need _held_."

"How's your mother been?" Ranma asked quietly.

"The same. She's not good, and the doctor said she's not going to get any better." Gwen sniffed and he realized she was controlling tears. "Every once in a while, she'll suddenly get worse, then she'll stay that way for a while, then…" He hugged her tightly. "All we can do," Gwen finished, "is try to make her comfortable and make sure she knows she's loved. We're trying to give her everything she wants, and sometimes I get so _tired_ of being 'Mommy' to both my parent and my child. They call it the 'Mommy Trap'. I need someone to take care of _me_ once in a while."

She played with his chest hairs and left her head resting on his shoulder. Ranma debated whether he could get his book without getting into trouble, but decided it was not a good idea to move right now.

"I love you," she said suddenly.

"I love you, too." He didn't even fight the response anymore. It was too ingrained. Ranma was suddenly intrigued. How long had Barry and Gwen been saying that?

"About fifteen years," Gwen said with an audible smile. He twitched, startled. He must have asked that out loud. "Right upstairs, in fact, in the front entry. You were about to go home and kissed me, and the kiss got really, _really_ nice, and you said it when we came up for air. It turned into a forty-five minute goodbye."

Ranma chuckled. With that kind of background, no wonder Barry was a romantic.

"Do you know when I decided I was going to marry you?" Gwen asked.

"Ummm… Right after I proposed?" he hazarded.

"Not even _close_! You came up to the house right after we moved in, while we were still putting stuff away, and you introduced yourself, all serious and formal, but friendly at the same time. You asked if we needed any help."

Barry's memories were sparking. "That was… fifth grade?"

"Yes; I was in fourth. And you were so disappointed there weren't any boys your age to play with. But when Mom introduced us, you smiled and were polite…"

Barry's memories provided more flashes.

_Gwen, gawky, nervous in the new neighborhood, her hair cut short, much like the style Akane wore now. She was a girl with a pretty smile and a hot temper. She could be an unmitigated brat at times and, at first, tried to get his attention all the time. Later, she faded out of his life, only to return when they were assigned to the same bus stop in junior high school. Barry watched her without paying much attention, until a day when it rained and she was caught without an umbrella. He offered her his umbrella and when she refused, walked over and stood next to her. 'Since I happen to be standing here, you won't mind taking advantage of the cover, right?' Barry had said. It was an act of kindness, nothing more, but it started the roller coaster going again._

_It had been different the second time. They talked — about school, friends, interests, home-life. None of it was tinged with either the intense infatuation or the aggravation Ranma and Akane suffered because of the fathers trying to force them together. Barry and Gwen found they both liked a science fiction program on TV at the time and began sitting together on the bus and doing homework together._

Gwen just cuddled against him and talked about their life together. It wasn't a life of mortal danger and impossible odds, but there _had_ been trials, pain and suffering. But whatever came, they always knew they could count on the other. "The smartest thing I ever did was to marry my best friend. You've always been there when I needed you," she concluded.

After a while, Gwen sat up, kissed him gently on the cheek and reached to her bedside table to retrieve a book of her own. Then, snuggling back into his side, she read her historical romance novel. Barry picked up his book again, relieved and puzzled by her actions. She wasn't coming on to him tonight ...yet, which was a relief. At the same time, she gave him a lot to think about, in terms of what it meant to be married and what it took to make a relationship work.

Ranma fell asleep reading and never noticed Gwen gently remove the book, tuck the covers around his shoulders and turn out the light.

* * *

Nodoka was a light sleeper and awakened the moment Barry began to stir. Genma tried to ambush Barry, but due in part to the alertness caused by the tense atmosphere the night before, failed miserably. Barry gave him a good workout and cunningly avoided 'going girl'. 

"Good morning, Momma," Barry said carefully as they sat down to breakfast. Genma had, with his son's presence, fallen back on a certain training method that soon had Nodoka examining the edge of the katana during the food stealing it entailed. Genma got the point (and nearly the edge) immediately and behaved himself. Barry had to be corrected several times on proper Japanese table manners, something that had been largely skipped in Ranma's education.

Sunday was quiet, if quiet meant multiple attempts by Genma to attack Ranma regardless of the prevailing circumstances. Barry used nothing but jujitsu on the man, in response to his criticism the night before. When Mousse arrived with the scroll, he politely wrapped Genma to a pole with some chains so they could have some peace. Where Mousse had been guardedly positive when he thought he was dealing with Ranma, he was buoyantly confident with Barry. It was very irritating.

Sunday night, Barry offered a schedule of activities to Nodoka to help her judge how each school day was spent. She was not happy about the time he spent 'unsupervised' but admitted that there were only so many hours in a day. Barry arranged to go with her to open Ucchan's, after which he would escort Ukyo to Ryoga's, pick up the lost-boy if necessary, then meet Akane on her way to school.

Monday morning began with Genma's standard 'surprise attack at dawn'. After getting dressed, Barry dropped a hog-tied and gagged Genma beside the table and sat down to eat in peace. Nodoka eyed the sweating Genma and shook her head. She'd release him after they finished eating. Genma was furious, but mellowed a little when Barry made sure he had a reasonably large serving waiting for his release. Leaving Genma to his breakfast, Barry and Nodoka leaped for the rooftops and headed for Ucchan's. As usual, things didn't go exactly as planned.

As they moved toward the okonomiyaki shop, Barry sensed Akane on her normal Nerima-crossing obstacle course. He quickly determined that she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings and warned Nodoka he planned to ambush her.

"Why? Are you trying to imitate Genma?" she immediately responded. He didn't wait to explain but shifted off at high speed to select his interception point. Nodoka followed, appalled by the speed of her possessed son. As near as she could tell, Akane was apparently too self-absorbed to notice their approach.

She watched Barry get close and yell, practically in the girl's ear, "_Swee-to_!" Akane's response was gratifying.

"_Pervert_!" (BAM!) Akane's battle aura flamed, as she stood poised to do more damage. As she recognized the figure pulling itself out of the trashcans in the alleyway, she said, "Oh, it's only you."

"Nice recovery, tomboy," Barry grumped. He leaped up to join her again. "But I should never have gotten that close without you noticing me." He shook some coffee grounds out of his hair and nodded to Nodoka as she arrived. Akane boggled a bit at seeing the Saotome matriarch out this early and on rooftops, but greeted her civilly, especially in light of the conversation the night before. She frowned at the katana but accepted the necessity. Why provide panda-baka with extra beer money?

Nodoka looked at Barry coldly. "I recognized that battle-cry," she remarked. "Should I expect you would have duplicated Happosai's standard attack if Akane failed to respond properly?"

"Hell, no," Barry exclaimed. "Give me credit for some common sense!"

"Barry'd be in a world of pain if he ever tried that," Akane agreed, glaring.

Barry grinned at her words, but kept his eyes on Nodoka. She blinked, glanced back and forth between them and shrugged.

"Akari's taking Ryoga to school," Akane said making motions of holding a phone to her ear. "I'll meet you at Ucchan's and we'll go together."

"See ya later!" Barry said. Akane took off like a rocket, cartwheeling, flipping and leaping across the rooftops.

Nodoka looked aggravated. "What was the point of all that?" she demanded.

"Akane was putting herself at risk and not just from Happosai. Ranma and his friends have a quite a few people who are a bit unhappy with them," Barry said. "And neither Ranma or I object to Genma's attacks... just to their predictability. He's getting to be at bad as Kato to my Inspector Clusoe."

Nodoka stared at him for a moment. "Let's get to Ukyo's, shall we?" she said.

* * *

Kaisha Timoosato nervously stood aside as Ranma deposited her books on her desk in homeroom. She almost called in sick today, to avoid having to deal with the pervert that she believed Ranma Saotome to be. He hadn't tried anything yet, but she just knew he would! "Need anything else, Kaisha-san?" She froze, and stared into the blue eyes that held hers almost hypnotically. She swallowed and tried to find something to say, then shook her head. 

"See you at lunchtime, then," Barry said, winking at her and turning on his heel. He almost walked right into Kaisha's boyfriend, Akatsuke. "Hey, man! How's it going?" He took in the dark face and the clenching fists and recognized a case of raging jealousy. "Never mind, I can see you're unhappy. Let's go out in the hall and talk there."

Once in the hall, Akatsuke got right to the point. "You better not touch her, Saotome!"

There were several responses Barry could have given, mostly typical testosterone-inspired responses that would end in a ludicrous fight where he either embarrassed or injured his opponent. He had been searching for an alternative response since Amazon Month started and had begun to refine his lines. "I don't want or need _another_ fiancée, Akatsuke," Barry replied, "and Kaisha's got more self-respect than to settle for anything less. Don't get your shorts in a knot!"

"She's trying to add herself to your pack of fiancées?" the young man said in a horrified gargle.

Barry reviewed what he said and groaned. Around Ranma, if a statement could be taken wrong... "No! Aren't you using your eyes?" he exclaimed. "She doesn't even _like_ me! So far as she's concerned, I'm a weird pervert waitin' to jump her the moment she drops her guard. Cripes! I get enough of that from Akane!" Suddenly, water spurted and hit the irritated form of Ranma. An inevitable change occurred. The inevitable complaint arose. "Wadja do that for?" Barry turned and glared at Shampoo, who stood lazily nearby, squirt gun in hand.

She raised an eyebrow. "Ranma think he make bad talk about Akane and get away with it?" she asked lightly. "Ranma should know better! Shampoo understand it hard for boy to see Ranma with girlfriend. Boys should remember what First Four do to Ranma if he forget self and act badly."

"Fer kami's sake, Shampoo," Barry whined, shaking water from her hair, "Speak properly! Do it for yer own self-respect, if nothin' else."

Shampoo looked as if she'd like to do violence and everyone backed away. Some speculated whether a wedgie would have the same effect on Ranma's female form as male. Barry locked eyes with her and didn't back down. Shampoo finally turned away. "You are right," she said finally. "I should speak for myself." She looked over her shoulder coldly. "You should get some hot water." She strode away.

Barry turned and found Akatsuke staring after the Amazon. She stomped over and glared at him. "Still wanna fight?"

The young man shook his head.

Barry looked beyond him to where Kaisha stood in the doorway of her homeroom, a worried expression on her face and her eyes on Akatsuke. Barry's mouth twisted in a painful, sarcastic smirk. "I think maybe ya oughta talk to Kaisha, then. I think she's worryin' I'm gonna try ta steal _you_ from _her_!" That said, she turned and headed for the nurse's office in search of hot water.

* * *

Ranma woke with a start. Strange feelings washed over him. Fingers stroked over his body, tracing lines of fire. Kisses marched across his ear, down his neck and over his chest. His whole body twisted automatically toward the source of these sensations. His hand suddenly found purchase on something round and warm and squishy. The resultant moan raised the hair on the back of his neck. 

Barry's memories were immediately feeding Ranma information on how to further stimulate Gwen, including most sensitive erogenous zones, most preferred sequence of stimulation, how to judge muscle tension and the tone of her voice in order to stimulate her to the highest degree of pleasure, how it felt to be joined in the act of love...

"Ack!" (THUMP!) "_Owie_!"

"Barry, are you all right?"

"Oh, man..."

"Oh, Barry! (Sigh!) You would be sleeping right on the edge of the bed." A form slithered across the bed and the shadow of a head looked over the edge. Slowly, crouched to hide his response to the over-stimulation, Ranma rose from the floor and stumbled into the bathroom. As the minutes ticked away, Gwen flopped back onto her pillows and huffed, "You'd think he was _avoiding_ me!"


	44. SlinkyFu

**Guest Ki: Chapter 43**

_**Slinky-fu**_

_**Journal: Ranma's Guest — Tuesday, 15 October 1991 – Day 52  
**_

_I'm getting this out of the way because there is just so much that has happened over the weekend. __Amazon month has been; Goofy... Weird... Stupid... I had good intentions with this thing, and for most people, its not too bad a change. Some of the guys have been surprised. The girls are much bolder about asking boys out than the other way around. __The girls are feeling it in the pocketbook, however. It shook things up, which is good but__ I really didn't see this 'date Ranma' thing coming. Nor did I understand just how forward some of these little pests could be._

_Ranma, your virtue has been safe with me. Its times like this when I really wonder what's going on back home, though. I figured that since I was doing Shampoo a favor, we would sorta, maybe, kinda start from scratch, at least for the month, but the old ghoul felt it necessary to let people know by example, what Amazon justice was like. Thanks for volunteering son-in-law! Apparently, the old bat expected us to choose that way, darn it! I have had to suffer through 10 dates thus far as part of an Amazon method of encouraging a reluctant male to 'loosen up'. Ranma! Because of you... Sorry - I can't finish that. Besides, its possible you'll say worse about me.  
_

_Ranma, old buddy, it's been weird. Sorry I let this go a few days, but here's the bad news: As of Saturday, the list of people 'in the know' is as follows… Akane, Ryoga, Nabiki, Ukyo, Shampoo, Cologne, Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung, Mrs. Morisato and her sister, Sakurida… and Nodoka Saotome._

_Yes, your mother knows. Now don't pull into your shell this is actually good news! I had a few talks with your mom and since _I'm_ not at risk for manliness, I asked just what she meant by it and how she defined it. Result _—YOU PASS_! The _only_ reason she carries that damn katana around all the time is that she doesn't want your dad stealing it. Give it a rest. Your mom loves you and had no idea you thought she was still questioning anything. Manliness to Nodoka Saotome is more a matter of your ideals and ethics, than your ability or desire to jump from bed to bed. When you get back, give her a hug; you both deserve it._

_I'm on the Amazon's sht li st I think. Cologne seems pragmatic about the whole deal but Shampoo was quite upset. Mouse was happy! Why? He was afraid he was beginning to like you too much. He feels much better now.  
_

_Oh, yeah! The Nerima Martial Arts Federation, or 'Team Nerima' as they called it in the media, won almost everything. The only events we didn't win were women's kyudo — Akane took third — and martial arts rhythmic gymnastics..._

Barry detailed the events of the competition, finishing with...

_Your dad complained of our mastery of jujitsu. Maybe you can talk to your uncle about improving that area of your expertise. _

Then he moved on to the information concerning ki and ki research.

_As I mentioned, Cologne obtained the scroll detailing how a person's projective powers are blocked. It's pretty simple and damn ugly. I can see why Cologne had trouble getting the copy of the scroll we have. While the binding is simple in application, there is some connection made to the place where things like the gaki we fought last week dwell. I believe it is used to siphon off the energy she would otherwise possess to project. There are warnings in the scroll and it does not explain how to release the blockage, but I can see weakness in the procedure that we can exploit. _

_Something still worries me. Maybe it's the way Mousse read the part that says '...those who hunger will be fed...' concerning the individual affected. We're checking into the viability of using that ki technique I learned from watching Mrs. Morisato. She said that if I needed to use it, I could; but warned me that misuse could be disastrous. I got very specific at that point and she admitted that it was a form of prayer or supplication to a being inimical to forces like the gaki. I already got religion, thank you. I need time to sort out how this all fits together._

_As for school: Calculus — Chapter 8, pages 112 to141; English — Midnight Diner, Chapters 7-10; Physical Education — we finished flag football, now we start basketball; History —_

Barry yawned and stretched.

_We will get you back. Now that we have the willing cooperation of Cologne, I think we have a real chance. Sunday is the big day for Shampoo. As soon after that as I can arrange, you are coming home! If I'm not here when you get back, wish me luck and forgive me if I've caused you trouble._

_

* * *

_  
Barry walked home carrying Sayuri's books while his 'date' for the day chatted with Akane. He kept an arm's length away and his mouth shut, as Sayuri already proved that she was going to verbally rip him apart for any comment she construed as critical of her friend.

Akane tried to keep up a cheerful demeanor but, now and then, her gaze would cross to Barry and her smile would fade, leaving a pensive look on her face. Her fine bone structure was becoming more accentuated by her worry for Ranma and the gradual weight loss, despite a carefully considered diet. When she grew pensive, Sayuri would shoot dagger looks at Ranma, daring him to say anything so she could rip into him again. "Why so quiet, Ranma," Sayuri demanded finally. "Afraid of the truth?"

"Nah. But I haven't worked out a martial arts technique for fightin' a sharp tongue yet," Barry replied unwisely. Akane scowled and reached past her friend's shoulder to bop him. Sayuri ducked reflexively, glanced at Akane, then back at Ranma.

"Serves you right, Ranma!" She stuck out said 'sharp tongue'. "Every time I see Akane down in the dumps because of you..."

"It's all right, Sayuri," Akane said. "It's not Ranma's fault."

"Yeah," agreed Barry, "Akane has enough other things to be depressed about."

The girls stopped and stared at him.

"What was_ that _supposed to mean?" growled Sayuri. She glanced aside and flinched at the flickering aura her friend gave off.

"Uh... Heh! Akane, you aren't supposed to go beatin' on somebody else's date, are you?" he asked plaintively.

"Not without permission." She glanced at Sayuri.

"Be my guest!"

"_Ranma, you baka_!" (POW!) Akane bounced a few times on one foot as she finished her follow-through. She was a bit out of practice.

"You always get such nice loft," Sayuri commented. "You haven't been doing that much lately. Did you two finally 'do it'?" Her smile of mischief turned into a gulp as Akane turned toward her, glowing again.

"Do you want to follow him?" the dark-haired girl inquired coldly.

"Akane." Sayuri backed up a step her eyes wide.

"Ohhh." Akane suddenly deflated, eyes tearing, her aura snuffing out. "Kami, I'm sorry, Sayuri!" She suddenly hugged her friend. "It's just so damned hard..."

"What's going on, Akane?"

Akane laughed shakily. "Same old, same old, Sayuri. I'm just feeling it more these days."

(SPLOOSH!)

Barry rose from the pond and extracted from her shirt a koi that hadn't moved out of the way fast enough. 'Stupid!' she thought, 'I deserved that.' Gingerly, she left the pond and started to head for the back door to avoid dripping on Kasumi's floors.

"Another argument with Akane, eh?" Soun sat with Ranma's father playing Shogi on the verandah. "At least there aren't as many as there used to be."

"You know, you're right, Tendo," Genma replied thoughtfully. Neither man's eyes left the board, knowing that a lapse would result in lost pieces and changed positions. "Perhaps they are getting along better." His eyes rose far enough to demand contact from his friend. "Dare we hope?"

Soun's eyes began to tear up at the thought. Genma's hands began to switch pieces on the board. Barry leaped up behind the preoccupied man, swept off the soaked shirt and wrung it out over his head — instant panda. She leapt back from the expected swing, rolled the wet fabric and snapped the improvised whip at Genma's ample posterior. "Yowr!" Genma hurtled to an upright posture holding his rear. Barry had the shirt back on before he turned around, ready for action. As Genma took an angry step forward, Barry pointed to the game.

"What about yer game?" she asked innocently. Genma whirled around to find Soun with a serene expression on his face, above a board that subtly but significantly changed.

"GRAOw-arow!" You cheated! The panda shook his sign in rage.

"Honestly, Saotome, I don't what you mean." Plans for a quick marriage between Ranma and Akane were temporarily forgotten.

"Yee-hah, git along, little dogies!" muttered Barry to herself as she swung around to the bathroom. Before swinging through the window, she sent her awareness ahead to insure the facilities were not occupied. Kasumi was in her room, changing sheets, P-chan following at her heels. Ryoga's successor was a very sociable little animal. The bathroom was unoccupied.

Barry stripped off her clothes and opened the hamper to deposit them for washing.

"Hi, there!" A wrinkled little face framed by a bra grinned up at her.

"_Ahhhhhhhhhh_!" Barry sprang backwards for the furo.

"Swee-to!" Happosai shot out of the hamper, fingers twitching eagerly. He was met with a foot in the face just before Barry's momentum carried her back and into the welcome pool.

(SPLASH!) Barry bobbed up to glare at the Master of Perversion. "Hello to you too, freak," Ranma's guest said from the water.

"Ranma, that wasn't fair," Happosai growled from the tub's edge. "Hardly a considerate greeting for your old master. How could you?"

"Your point is?"

Happosai glared at the young man who soaked in the warm waters of the furo. "I understand that you've been studying ki techniques lately." He pulled his pipe from somewhere and began tamping tobacco into it. "If I understand correctly, you've gone far beyond your Mouko Takabisha. You are treading on very dangerous ground, you know."

"Yeah? I sorta figured that." They traded glares but nothing more was forthcoming.

"Who redesigned the garden?" Happosai changeds the subject abruptly and lit the pipe with a burst of ki-generated heat. He was obviously disappointed by Ranma's lack of reaction to his first query.

Barry frowned and tilted his head. Out of the corner of his eye he saw bits of dirt and mold in the water and sighed. He'd have to apologize to Kasumi for dirtying the furo. "Just why are you asking, old man?" Suspicion came to the fore with the question.

"Oh, no reason. It's just so peaceful out there. I wondered if you had used your new ki awareness in working on it."

"Let's just say, we had some help, and leave it at that."

"That was some idea, Amazon Month," Happosai said changing the subject. "How many of those sweet young things have you cozied up to?"

"Don't go there, old man, " Barry growled.

"You gonna stay in there all day?" Happosai grinned. He was standing not far from the showerhead.

"It's comfortable in here," Barry said, leaning back and smiling, his eyes glinting dangerously. No way was he getting out while the freak had access to cold water.

"We're home," Akane called as she and Sayuri entered. They shucked off their shoes and moved toward the main room. "Kasumi is...Ranma home yet?"

"I haven't seen him, Akane," Kasumi replied as she walked down the stairs.

"Are you sure you sent him this way, Akane?" asked Sayuri.

"Of course I am," Akane huffed. She accessed her ki-vision and surveyed her territory. "He's in the bath." She blanched as she realized what else was in that room.

In the bathroom, both men heard the girls enter and speak. Happosai's grin turned to gloating, gleeful victory. "I think its time I start vetting your dates, boy!" He turned and bounced for the door. "Or maybe give Akane a welcome-home smooch!"

Barry surged out of the tub. "You little shit, leave 'em alone!" He grabbed a towel for decency's sake and wrapped it about his waist as he rushed after the wrinkled martial artist. "Come back here!" He snatched at the hem of Happosai's gi, but missed as the little man slid out and shut the door in his face. The door boomed off its tracks. Barry slammed over it and hurtled after Ranma's most consistent nemesis.

"Get behind me," Akane snapped, shoving her friend roughly aside.

"What's wrong, Akane?" demanded Sayuri. She gave a short scream as she saw a bouncing, chuckling form ricochet down the hall, Ranma, dressed in only a towel, in hot pursuit.

"Akane!" Happosai leaped at her face.

"_Pervert_!" Akane blocked and knocked him aside.

He laughed and used the blow to bounce off a wall beam and head for Sayuri. Millimeters from contact just as Sayuri was sucking in a breath for a really heartfelt shriek, Barry's fist shot at the freakish little monster. Happosai ducked the blow and let the young man's momentum assisted by a subtle twist of ancient, mobile fingers throw him across the big square table. Happosai landed briefly and drew a balloon from his gi. An instant later, Barry was 'girled' and glomped. The redhead's small, hard fist pounded down, hammering the Master of Perversion into the floor. On the rebound, a whirling leg, courtesy of Akane, sent him past the heads of Soun and Genma, sitting on the verandah over a new game of Shogi. Already stung from earlier events, they ignored Sayuri's outburst in favor of watching their game.

"Not this time, Tendo," Genma said.

"No more distractions, Saotome," Soun agreed.

In the koi pond, Happosai sputtered to the surface and shook the water out of his eyes. He shook his fist at the house and coughed up more water. "Curse you, Ranma," Happosai snarled, his aura rippling the air above the pond. "How dare you cause me to drink water… and pond water at that!" He coughed some more and took note of the condition of his clothes. "My clothes are ruined! You'll pay for that, too."

"Grandfather." Kasumi stepped out from behind them holding the phone. "There's a girl named Atsuko on the phone. She wants to know if she can come over and play." That got everyone's attention. Even Soun and Genma turned at Kasumi's words, and the idea of a girl wanting Happosai's attention... They turned from Kasumi to watch Happosai's reaction.

The eyes of the Master of Mutsabetsu Kakuto bulged in horror. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish. "No! Not… not _her_!" he choked out before turning and leaping over the wall. They all gaped after the vanished pervert and then looked at one another. The common expressions of shock individually reassured them that they were not going crazy.

"Grandfather met Atsuko while you were away training, Akane," Kasumi explained. "But for some reason, he doesn't want to play with her any more." She smiled faintly. "I really don't understand why; she's very pretty and quite athletic. Nabiki suggested that I pretend to call her anytime he got out of hand."

"Atsuko rides a bicycle, right?" Barry grinned. All eyes snapped to the redhead and her altogetherness, except Akane who got a clue and smacked her fist into her palm in recognition. "What? Ooops! Sorry about that!" She dipped low and retrieved the towel, which had slipped off due to the change in shape. She wrapped it firmly around all critical features and, blushing, swung past the observers and up the steps.

Akane ducked her head and hid her face in her hands. This was_ so _embarrassing.

Sayuri slowly peeled herself off the wall. She glanced up the steps where Ranma vanished and across at Akane. Slowly her breathing returned to normal. "Ummm... What would you do if that didn't work to stop him?" she asked Kasumi. "Happosai, I mean."

"Then _I_ would call Atsuko," smiled Kasumi. "She only lives on the other side of Nerima."

"Cool! I wonder if we can get her to come to Furinkan?" Sayuri speculated. She nudged Akane who continued to hide her face. "Or are you afraid Ranma'll end up with another fiancée?" Akane jerked her hands down and looked horrified. Sayuri jumped as Ranma glided back down the stairs fully dressed.

"Kasumi, I'll have to drain the furo," Barry told the oldest Tendo. "Happosai was hiding in the hamper and I had ta dive for the hot water before I could rinse off."

"That's all right, Ranma," Kasumi said. "It doesn't happen too often."

"It's really disgusting, Ranma," Sayuri complained at Barry. "You're cuter than most guys, and when you're a girl... It's just not fair!"

Barry shrugged. "Can't do a thing about it, Sayuri."

"And you're so modest, too," the girl continued grumbling.

"Akane," Kasumi interrupted. "A message came that I think you should see." She handed her sister a folded sheet of fine rice paper.

"What is it?" asked Sayuri as Akane broke the seal.

Barry moved closer and read over her shoulder. "It's a challenge," he said, "for Friday at 4:00."

"But what is 'Sa-lin-ky-fu'?" Akane inquired of no one in particular.

* * *

Several kilometers away, Happosai slid out of an alley and took stock. That Atsuko girl was a real pest! Despite having a to-die-for body, she had almost no residual ki that he could access. She was also so fast and powerful, she could possibly compete with Ranma, even in Nekoken. He had seriously considered getting her involved with Ranma, but decided it was much too dangerous... for him. Either she would hang around Ranma, making approach extremely inconvenient, or Ranma would finally get so pissed off as to hunt down Happosai and kill him. 

He still had nightmares of the way Ranma's face looked just before Akane interrupted the Nekoken at Himamashi's. He kicked a stone in the street in disgust and winced. His clothing was binding something fierce. Funny, after all the punishment his garb took, it would shrink like that and so quickly after he landed in the pond. If only there was some way to get close to Ranma without revealing his presence. He rubbed the back of his neck and ran his hand up and through the hair that covered his head.

He stopped dead. What did he just do? He ran his hand through... He repeated the action, feeling hair slip through his fingers. Hair, where there hadn't been hair in decades. Knees shaking, he wobbled to a plate-glass store window and looked at his reflection. A homely young man stared back at him. Thin black hair, short, muscular, but far taller than Happosai was... a full set of teeth. He patted himself and tried to figure out what happened. He looked like he did when he was in his teens.

"What in all nine hells happened to me?" he husked. He ran his hands through his hair again and stretched his mouth apart comically to look at the even white teeth. He looked at the smooth, firm skin that replaced the wrinkles. He thought furiously and then a smirk made its home on his face. Moments later he was laughing, a healthy ringing sound, that nevertheless raised the hackles on many a passerby. The rejuvenated pervert took to the rooftops. There was much to plan.

* * *

Barry and Ukyo leaped over the wall to run across the roof and swing down and into the dojo. The other members of Team Nerima were already there. Kuno swung and moved through his forms with an intense air. Shampoo and Akane were doing an odd exercise of Joketsuzoku origin that reminded him vaguely of a sport called Indain Wrestling he had done in scouts as a boy, and made them act like mirror images. Mousse was discussing something with Ryoga in quiet tones in a corner. The last member of the local group, Kodachi Kuno, sat on an equipment chest and sipped a fruit drink that Kasumi provided earlier. She looked up as the two swung in and placed her juice aside to wave faintly. One arm still hung in a sling as a result of her injuries. 

"So, you've finally arrived?"

"Hi, Kodachi," Ukyo replied a bit guardedly.

"How ya feelin', Dachi?" asked Barry. She tried to keep her skin from crawling. It wasn't that Kodachi was any creepier than usual, but the weird ki transformation Barry had undergone, in an attempt to disguise herself as Kodachi this past weekend, had some strange aftereffects. The girl-type ki kept trying to revert to the Kodachi patterns. She hurried over to the kettle and dumped it over her head, quickly restoring the normal male shape. Barry turned and almost bumped into Kuno.

"Curse it, Saotome! Did you have to trade places with thy lovely sister so quickly? I had a series of haiku I wished to regale her with." Kuno looked irritated.

Barry felt a rise in his own ire. They had managed to get so far, and no further, at convincing the kendoist that Ranma and his 'pigtailed goddess' were somehow associated. Having good days and bad days, Kuno seemed to vacillate between lucidity and insanity. He wondered if the reality was too much for Kuno to bear. Though from what Barry read in some of the period stories, the situation shouldn't be _that_ embarrassing. Of course, with the weird way Kuno's mind worked, he probably had twentieth century hang-ups on top of his seventeenth century habits. Controlling himself, he nodded to Tatewaki. "She's been out and about all evening, Kuno. You know she doesn't want to date you. Why do you keep pestering her?"

"To see her is to see perfection! To hear her voice is to be soothed by the voice of a nightingale." Kuno looked to the heavens, not seeing the threat close at hand. For once, it was not incipient violence but rather an outburst of hilarity. Onna-Ranma had a good singing voice, but rarely spoke in honeyed tones to Tatewaki. Descriptions of annoyed, shrewish or downright bitchy might be more accurate.

Barry held his tongue with increasing difficulty and glanced over at Akane. Her sad look sobered him immediately. "Okay, okay! Can it, bokken-boy," he finally said a bit roughly. "We've got work to do." He moved over to Akane. "Anybody have any ideas about that challenge, Akane?" Kuno sputtered and gripped his weapon tightly, before turning away in disgust and continuing with his practice.

"I just can't imagine what Salinky-fu would be," Akane said with something approaching her normal tones. "It doesn't even sound like a real word."

"Maybe it's martial arts done with Slinkys?" suggested Ryoga, humming the commercial jingle. "You know, the children's spring-coil toy?" They all stared at Ryoga who, after a moment, withdrew in embarrassment.

"Well, there's nothing to be done about it until Friday," Barry sighed. He glanced over at Akane who frowned without saying anything. "What?"

"Who's taking the challenge?" Akane didn't look at him.

"It's your dojo, tomboy," he replied, amused. "Who do ya want to take it?"

"Me!" she said intensely, eagerly and disbelievingly.

"Okay! Just don't go punchin' walls unprepared this time," Barry said, amused at her enthusiasm.

"Surely such a lovely flower as Akane should not be put at risk." Tatewaki heard them discussing the challenge and paced over, concerned when Akane demanded to respond to it.

Barry sighed and the others slid aside as Akane began to steam; Kuno had that effect sometimes. "Tatewaki, don't insult Akane. She's very good and risk is a martial artist's bread and butter. Besides yer not a student of the dojo, properly speaking. The challenger wants to try his skills against Mutsabetsu Kakuto."

Kuno, acting like he had not heard Barry at all, looked at Akane and sighed. "In truth, I meant not to disparage thy skills. It is but an outgrowth of my philosophy within Bushido." There was a familiar tremble visible in Kuno's shoulders. He lunged. "Akane! Let me take this…" (POW!) Akane's foot planted itself in Kuno's face at the same time Shampoo's bonbori and Ukyo's spatula hit his head. "Ow!" Kodachi yawned and covered her mouth.

Ryoga smirked. "Kuno, when are you going to learn not to do that?" the lost-boy said. "I thought you were getting therapy."

Kuno slumped to a sitting position. "My manliness has never been in question," he said, rubbing his head. "My passion overwhelms me at times."

"You mean Dr. Hashibara encourages your perversion as part of his control," Kodachi observed dryly.

"We've really got to meet the good doctor," Akane growled. "If he's the reason why Kuno has harassed me all this time, I _owe_ him."

"Not the only reason," Kodachi admitted sadly.

Ryoga put an arm-lock on Kuno and dragged him kicking away. "C'mon, Blue Blunder, I'll spar with you and save you from incipient foot-in-mouth disease." He caught his umbrella as Barry threw it to him and faced off against his opponent's bokken.

"How do you _do_ that?" Ukyo asked, shaking her head at Barry. "That thing weighs a ton!"

"Trade secret. Not mine," Barry commented. "It's not a matter of strength, though."

"How _does_ he do that?" Akane asked as Ryoga fenced with Kuno, the umbrella a match for Kuno's bokken. "I checked it a bunch of times. It's an ordinary split-bamboo umbrella." She paused. "Of course, I never really figured out how Kuno can cut down a tree with a piece of wood." She smacked Barry who softly chanted, 'I know something you don't'.

"Ow! C'mon, Akane, use your brain and what you've learned. Yes, it's a bamboo umbrella. Yes, it's a wooden bokken. Look with _all_ your senses!"

"Ahhh, Grasshopper!" muttered Akane sarcastically. She did what he asked and grinned. "Ki! I should have known. Ryoga's umbrella is so dense, I can't see through it. Kuno's bokken is actually a vehicle for ki he's projecting."

Shampoo looked disgusted. "Stick-boy has ki attack? Not fair!"

"Monomania has its uses, honey," Ukyo shrugged. She watched sparks fly as the bokken and umbrella scraped along their lengths. 'Maybe I can get Ryoga to show me how he does that,' she thought. 'It should be safe enough. He was doing it long before Barry got here.' She considered what her spatula could do, augmented like his umbrella.

"Don't worry about ki attacks, Shampoo," Barry said easily. "After Saturday, you should begin discovering your own."

Shampoo frowned but said nothing. Cologne warned her not to reveal Barry's presence, but she was still aggravated. All of the things she had thought Ranma was doing — her rescue from the avalanche, the promise to help fix her ki blockage, Amazon month — it had all been Barry. Would Ranma have done the same thing? She'd probably never know. Ranma was not very open about his feelings and, even if they did get him back, would probably find some way to avoid the issue.

Mousse was silent, distracted by his own concerns regarding the procedure planned for this weekend. His glasses shone steady in the shadows he found, betraying a preternatural stillness. He had read the scroll with Saotome — no, with Barlowe — and the displaced spirit pointed out things that troubled him deeply. Where Barry got his confidence, he didn't know, but Mousse conceded that Ranma's guest saw solutions where Mousse saw only problems. Between them, they worked out a procedure that required four participants to enact. Mousse considered what Barry deduced from his translation. It was disquieting to think that he might be right, but if he was...

...Then someone in the extended Amazon family was, not only a traitor, but also a black sorcerer. The implications were clear. The blockages were in some way tied into that strange nether realm where the oni lived. The scroll detailed a procedure, banned a millennium ago, used to subdue opponents having strong magical or ki abilities. It siphoned off projective ki to a captive gaki by some method they did not yet fully understand. He remembered the howling force of the gaki that had come during the abortive attempt to contact Ranma, and shuddered.

He flinched as Kuno stamped and thrust at Ryoga. The umbrella-wielding martial artist snapped his weapon open as the shockwave of Kuno's technique hammered the air at him, forcing him back. Ryoga could have avoided the attack, but chose to test himself by resisting it. Akane jumped to her feet.

"Kuno, no!" It was too late, of course. Ryoga was fine, but the wall behind him had chunks knocked out of it from the shockwave that had not been absorbed or deflected by Ryoga's umbrella. "Kuno, you've wrecked the dojo!" Akane stormed.

Kuno was unfazed. He whipped out his cell phone. "Never fear, fair one! I shall have workers here within the hour to repair..."

"No, no, no, brother! You broke it, _you_ fix it," Kodachi drawled.

Tatewaki looked at the wall, then back, pained. His eyes met the others one by one. He put the phone away. "Where are the materials?" he asked, resigned.

Barry jumped up. "I'll get 'em." Seconds later, he was back with a bucket of nails, a saw, a hammer and several lengths of wood. "Ya want some help? I know yer not used to this sorta thing." Kuno flushed in anger, then paled as he regarded 'Saotome'. After a moment, not trusting himself to speak, he nodded.

Akane shook her head in disbelief. Ranma and Barry were constant contradictions. Ranma was trained as a warrior, a destroyer in some people's eyes, but never wished to hurt anyone and somehow managed to antagonize everyone. Barry, trained as an artist and engineer, a creator, was actually more willing to do violence, yet also managed to calm people around him, gaining their cooperation. How did these totally different personalities manage to come across so much alike to everyone else?

She watched Ukyo and Shampoo regard this cooperative effort with amusement. Originally, neither had been told about Barry's presence and both had been furious at Barry when they found out. Both were beginning to support Akane, even if they disagreed with her conclusions concerning Ranma's displacement. They seemed to view Barry as taking advantage of the situation. If only they heard his nightmares or his reminiscences of his family. Still, it was making things easier for her. Even Kodachi was acting more human.

Barry helped Kuno seal the hole his ill-advised technique had caused, not saying anything and letting Kuno, within limits, guide the course of the repair. He was puzzled, if pleased, at the way the other fiancées were treating Akane, but he wondered about Kodachi. The Amazon might, just might, be explainable through her training and cultural background. Ukyo had teamed with Nabiki and was at least nominally friends with Akane anyway, but Kodachi…?

With her intelligence and past sneakiness, had she guessed the truth? She was almost too nice, especially for her. With his inexplicable tie to her through the ki technique, had he become more suspicious or more sympathetic to her? He glanced at Kodachi, observing her unusually calm demeanor. Had it possibly worked the other way, allowing mental as well as physical healing? He hoped so, but shuddered at the damage that might ensue to her when Ranma made his decision and Kodachi felt abandoned again.

Kasumi brought out more fruit juice for later and watched for a while as her sister's friends broke into pairs to spar. Ukyo matched against Kuno, Shampoo against Ryoga, while Akane, Barry and Mousse moved aside to discuss the work they planned to do Saturday.

"It's too bad Mrs. Morisato couldn't come. I mean it is her technique to begin with," Akane commented.

Barry nodded and looked thoughtful. "She said she wasn't permitted to get involved. I'm not sure why, though."

"From everything I've heard of her," Mousse said, rubbing his chin, "I would not expect such an excuse."

"It didn't feel like an excuse," Barry said firmly.

"What?" chorused the other two.

"What do you mean?" asked Akane.

He shrugged. "I don't know what I mean. We'll have to make do with preparations as they are."

* * *

When Friday came, the same group gathered at the dojo to see who the idiot was. Akane, in her gi, was in front of the others. Barry stayed to one side, explaining what was happening to Amami Kobayu, who was, by their standards, a beginning martial artist with only a first dan in karate. At 4:00 PM, a tall, slender figure strode up to gate and rang the bell. 

Jeanne Koile was a harmless looking, pleasant man in his early thirties. He wore a pair of fanny packs, small bags on belts, in front and behind him. Large wire-rimmed glasses framed soft brown, long-lashed eyes and only the smoothness of his motions betrayed his martial arts training.

"Good afternoon," he said, bowing with a careful degree of respect. "I've come to challenge your school. I think you may find this interesting."

"Are you using a weapon form?" Akane asked.

"Yes. You may be familiar with the coiled spring toy Americans call Slinky?" At Akane's polite nod, he continued. "I found the flexibility and reach, as well as the binding properties of Slinkys, to be extremely interesting. I bought several, deduced how they worked, and designed my own from a variety of materials." His daffy enthusiasm was contagious. Most of Team Nerima were smiling now, interested in what was coming.

"Would you like to warm up first?" Akane inquired. "Or shall we begin?"

"Let's start."

Akane set herself carefully, prepared to let him make the first move. Jeanne removed a single Slinky from a fanny pack, smiled and let it walk across the back of his arms. As it moved, he slid another steel coil from a pack and held it between his hands.

Ryoga grimaced. "Crap. It _is_ a child's toy!" A cute Slinky-dog was delicately grasped between the thumb and middle finger of each hand. Akane ground her teeth and tried to focus more acutely. Somehow, she felt this was going to be bad.

The Slinky rippled in Koile's hands. Akane's arm rose swiftly to block the wave of steel coil that surged across the space between them. Her wrist was pinched between the loops and a sudden twist pulled her off balance. Jeanne Koile glided in and kicked twice as Akane tried to untangle herself. She blocked them and finally jerked her hand free. She struck and dodged, her opponent responding with loops of coiled steel intercepting her strikes and nearly entangling her anew.

And all the while, the first Slinky was walking from shoulder to shoulder to elbow to hip... Akane shook her wrist slightly. Jeanne Koile and Slinky-fu was a little like fighting a combination of Mousse, Ranma and Kodachi. It was surprising how much that stupid spring hurt when it hit, and the way it had trapped her wrist… The sound the springs made as they moved was also unnerving. She kept her eye on the Slinky he was juggling around his body as he fought. Suddenly, it was launched at her from the end of a toe.

She almost dodged the attack, but it wrapped around one leg at the knee, binding on itself and pinching painfully, the free ends dangling and getting underfoot like loose shoelaces. As she tried to shake it off, Koile dipped his hand into one of the bags and brought out a Slinky attached to a handle with a post that ran up the center of the spring. He brandished it and snapped it at Akane's face. Had it struck, it would have been like being on the receiving end of a steel-clad Chinese yo-yo. Akane ducked and wove as he struck again and again.

Barry frowned as he watched the action. Akane needed to get in close quickly. She was not taking much damage but, had the springs been weighted or edged, she would have been suffering severe lacerations by now. ''C'mon, tomboy, use your environment,' he thought savagely.

Amami just gaped. She had been proud to achieve her black belt and thought to test herself against Akane and her fiancé as part of Amazon Month. She was rapidly deciding she needed a lot more training. The sheer speed of the match was leaving her several steps behind the action. The first clash had been over in a single breath.

Akane was thinking the same thing. She backed close to one of the shoji windows and let the Slinky slam past her again, its end smashing out through the window and getting trapped on the sill for a few strategic seconds. She let her duck carry her deep and lashed out with the free ends of the Slinky trapped around her leg. It didn't bind, but it did trip him. As he hit the floor, the Slinky thrummed, caught at extension. He lashed out with the toy, but she was already inside his reach. She grabbed for nerve points at wrist and hand, even as he twitched the entrapped Chinese yo-yo free to send it recoiling at the back of her head. Akane's strikes interrupted the action and the device clashed as both ends recoiled to their common center and hit the floor. Akane did not hesitate to consolidate her position, straddling Koile's stomach with one hand firmly clenching the front of his shirt. The taller man could not get to his Slinky bags to re-arm nor strike at her effectively. Akane, however...

"Dai!" Her fist hammered down, coming to a stop touching the septum of the nose lightly. It could easily have been a killing stroke. "Want me to continue?" she asked. He shook his head slightly. "Good!" She rose to her feet and stepped aside before extending her hand. Her smile was wide. "That was great!" she exclaimed. His smile was shy in response. "Could you get this thing off my leg, please?" she added. He smiled and winked at her. Her narrowed eyes warned him he'd better be real careful where he put his hands.

As they spoke afterward, Barry asked about the use of the Slinkys. "You were talking about some special ones you made. Why did you use these? Weren't they pretty much ordinary Slinkys?" He shuffled one back and forth on his hands, feeling the balance and trying to visualize how Koile did what he had with it.

Koile looked embarrassed. "I didn't really get a chance to use my special Slinkies. The Slinky sword seems to have failed its test." He held up the Chinese yo-yo thing.

"Not at all," Akane said. "I got lucky when it tangled in the window. The only weakness I see in your style is that, if an opponent gets in close, you need to be better prepared to go hand to hand." She dimpled. Koile looked like he was about to go into a Ryoga-like freeze. "Take it easy. I'm sure this can become a major style with only a little more work. It's exciting to see something like this when it's just developing." Akane was enthusiastic and bubbled at the man, slowly bringing the shy smile back. Koile was treated to congratulations and suggestions from several of the assembled martial artists.

Eventually, he had to leave, as did Barry who had to hurry to get to Ucchan's for the dinner rush. He wondered what she would think when he informed her Ryoga's guess had been correct. Who woulda thought? Slinkys!

* * *

It was a hell of a coil to be in. Ranma nervously returned to the bed after Gwen fell asleep. This just couldn't go on. He had to find a way back, _now_! If he didn't, he was either going to get 'caught' by Gwen or be forced to tell her the truth. He really didn't want to have to deal with the upset that would cause, not when she was under so much pressure as it was. How the heck was he going to do this? 

He pondered the information he gleaned at the library, scant though it was. The aura was supposed to be comprised of five layers, which were associated with the five traditional elements of Oriental philosophy. The astral was the area with which the others reached out and interacted with outside sources. He took stock of his aura and it's characteristics.

Body — Barry's, obviously. Strength was not too far off his own, developed more toward power than speed, but in reasonable shape for someone who was not an intense martial artist like Ranma.

Humors, or Health — again, Barry's. In balance with the body, much higher levels of sexual energy, probably because Barry was married and, if memories were to be believed, very devoted to his wife. Ranma shied away from those memories, only looking sidelong at them, feeling very much as if he were a peeping Tom. Barry asserted that Hiroshi and Daisuke's hentai magazines were full of crap. This glimpse into a working marriage confirmed it. These memories and memories of Barry's parents were haunting. His father, dead when Barry was fourteen, and his mother, still alive and beautiful, were both oddly westernized versions of his own parents, yet with significantly different training and relationships. Belatedly, he wished his own father were more like Barry's.

Barry's greatest weakness in the chemical balances, called humors in the one book on ki that he felt trustworthy, was a slight lactose deficiency. Ranma did not have this problem, but discovered its drawbacks not long after arriving here. Ice cream meant a quick trip to the bathroom half an hour after the treat.

Astral or ethereal — Ranma was fairly certain the astral level was his own. Now that he had found his center, it was easy to call up any of the ki routines he had known before. The astral was the channel of most of those techniques. The body and humors provided the strength; the mind and spirit provided the focus.

Mind — Ranma's, undoubtedly. While he had access to Barry's memories, they were definitely not his own. Hmmm… He had access to his own memories and identity and also Barry's. Did that mean there was some link in his and Barry's minds? Or perhaps he should seek higher?

Spirit or soul — again, Hmmm… He was far more familiar with his soul than Barry had been. The soul was not easily explainable or, in their case, identifiable as to ownership. It experienced, it remembered, it balanced or not, depending on your actions. If the body was based in instincts and responses, the soul was the repository of conscience and personality. He felt that he was utilizing his own soul, his own set of values, but at the same time he occasionally felt conflict. It was as if certain parts of his aura were laid alongside parts of Barry's.

Ranma reached over to the bedside table. He had seen something there. His hand came back with two rubber bands. Curious at his impulse, he felt their stretch and noticed how they looped. The path of ki in the body looped much like they did. He looped them both over his fingers then caught at the opposite sides of the band, playing a sort of cat's cradle with them. Ranma noticed how they laced and locked together. It was difficult, when doing so, to trace which band belonged with which. He slowly released first one strand then the other. Suddenly, his fingers jumped apart with a twang, leaving separate bands on each hand. He hadn't been trying to do that. Somehow, he felt this was significant.

He looped them together and tried again. Then again... and again...


	45. Hell to Pay

**Guest Ki: Chapter 44**

_**Hell to Pay**_

Barry placed the last of the deceptively heavy meteoric stones in the pattern outlined by the scrolls. Soon the three Weavers would march in a peculiar dogleg spiral to their places in the pattern and begin the procedure to release Shampoo, Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung from the bonds inhibiting their projective ki. The center pattern, laid out in a milky green crushed stone, was precisely drawn in a hexagon with points off three sides. In the center, three Amazon maidens nervously waited for the preparations to end and the ceremony to begin.

"Why all three go at once?" asked Lung-Lung.

Shampoo touched her shoulder, making her jump. "Barry-baka find we three bound together, as well as ki bound," she explained. "If not all done at same time, very dangerous." She paused and thought a moment, then shrugged. "Is very dangerous anyway." Lung-Lung gulped.

"What they do there, big sister?" Ling-Ling pointed at Cologne painting symbols on Akane's face, a large oval mark with a gold center and triangular marks with golden centers on each cheekbone.

"It symbology for Akane, Barry-baka and Grandmother to represent powers of rite, many-many analogies. Grandmother represent knowledge and totality of knowledge, we Joketsuzoku call Sorceress or Bearer of Wisdom. Akane is Guardian or Scout. She watch trends and forecasts, gives information to Barry to spin into spell. She also act as Warrior if trouble come. Barry balance-point between what IS and what MIGHT BE." Barry's face already bore a vertical slash of blue on her forehead and triangles on her cheekbones. Not happy that Cologne was adamant about the ceremony requiring three women, she seemed to ignore the Amazons in the center of the pattern as she nudged at the stones until satisfied with the pattern of their ki-signatures. "Barry is Weaver. Weaver in this case, correct mistakes in pattern, remove ki-blocks. Barry one actually fixing ki."

"Akane must remain with you three in the innermost ward," Cologne graveled, finally satisfied with the results of her artwork. "Barry may move only between the wards, and I must remain outside, acting as Warden and resource." Barry moved over and picked up the brush to apply marks to Cologne's face. In nine strokes of the brush, Cologne had blue triangular marks on forehead and withered cheeks. "Not bad, Barry. I can see now, how you had the skill to complete the work on Ukyo's yatai so quickly."

"Ling-Ling not understand. Why warrior on inside and leader on outside? Is backwards."

"If this were a physical threat, you would be right. But any threat here will most likely come from you three," Cologne answered the twin. She carefully walked around the patterns they had laid out, nodding satisfactorily. "We'll begin at midday and probably finish by moonlight."

"_What_!"

"How long?"

"Aiya!" Lung-Lung, in particular, was distressed.

"What's wrong, granddaughter?" asked Cologne.

Lung-Lung looked embarrassed. "Grandmother, I've got to go."

"I thought there are four elements in rite?" Shampoo asked carefully. Cologne nodded in reply as Lung-Lung picked her way carefully across the crushed stone to the house. Kasumi and Soun were visiting Aunt Makiko, mostly to get Soun out of the way.

"That's correct child. Mousse is the fourth in the rite. You might say his place is to support the women, as is only fit in a ritual like this. It is actually a difficult place to be and requires considerable social skills. Still, we had no one else readily available."

"Oh, that makes me feel so valued," growled Mousse as he practiced stepping around the inner wards. He had bound his long hair back in a ponytail to keep it out of the way. Like Barry, this was his primary operating area. He was stepping carefully over and around the pattern on the ground to familiarize himself with its intricacy. If he had to move fast, he could not afford to break the lines.

Barry picked her way to the porch and reread the translation of the Amazon scroll she and Mousse made…

_The Sorceress T'Zeah came to Di Pli Te and bespoke her. "Why have you done this? Where there had been unity, you have divided us like a roast chicken to be eaten by our enemies." _

_The Accursed shook her head and spoke with pride. "I have saved our people. Where a rock stands alone in the waters, the rock is tumbled about and soon is washed away. Where rocks stand together, they stand against the flood."_

_T'Zeah struck the ground with her staff in righteous anger. "Rocks may stand, but pebbles are soon washed away no matter how many they are!" She struck the ground again to silence the Accursed. "You acted without permission of the Elders and without permission of the Matriarchs! You are too strong to confine, yet you believe you act in the interests of the People. Your challenges have been lawfully delivered so you may not be slain. Therefore, you shall be bound. Bound in body and in spirit. With ropes of hair, your sisters' fingers will bind you. With ropes of spirit (ki), your Elders' hands of shadow will insure you may not escape."_

_"I would rather you killed me," replied the Accursed. _

_"Your skills and experience are needed by your people," T'Zeah reminded her. "You chose this path." The prisoner agreed that she had and met her fate as a warrior for the good of her people._

_To bind the hands of power and limit the reach of the spirit, must the spirit be guided to the place of the dark-that-eats-all. There must the darkness be entwined in the wings of the eye. The wings will be weakened and the eye may not rove. Fingers of the spirit must pass through to find the rainbow rope that binds the worlds apart in all living and weave a weakness between light and dark. _

_This shall be found near the circles of renewal and the center of the world. The roots of the tree of life are always endangered, but life is strong and the guardians will provide protection. The guardians are provoked by such action, for it attacks their power when the waters of life are denied the tree..._

Eventually, everyone took the assigned places. Shampoo and her sisters drank a cup Cologne provided, a sedative to prevent them from unintentional movement during the rite. Then, Cologne sealed the outer wards. With stately steps, the four strode to their positions, weaving in between one another like some intricate dance of planets about a triple sun.

Cologne reached her position first and stood within a circle near the pond. "Hearken ye! Here stand I, she who is written in stone, confirmed and unchanging. I am what has passed by and is within the grasp of all who seek. I am the fountain by which life is sustained, the knowledge by which all life is strengthened, the experience through which all life is known. The wisdom with which all life is enriched."

Barry took her starting position beside Shampoo. She met Cologne's eyes, nodded and spoke. "Hearken ye! Here stand I, she who must decide, she who balances knowledge and inspiration, experience and experiment, wisdom and research. What gnaws at the roots of these trees? Least these trees of life die, we three must hearken to our tasks. The worm that draws life from the root must be expelled."

"Hearken ye!" intoned Akane as she paced a pattern around and between the Amazons who lay with heads to the center of the inner circle. "I am she who seeks, who wanders where she will to seek the truth, discover wisdom, and add to knowledge. What force is laid to warp the growth of these lives? Destiny is denied by this force. Hear ye all! As sisters, let us to this work begin!"

With the proximity of Shampoo's sisters, the block was clearly visible to ki-vision in great detail. To the inner eye, it appeared as a segmented worm with three heads, shifting and alive, in and of itself, woven around the sisters like Lacoon and the serpents. Hooks of otherworldly substance anchored it in the girls' auras. Barry examined the linkage, looking for a starting point.

"There!" said Akane suddenly, as she moved in the pattern of her station between their patients. "If we try to attack the heads first, it will become active and do damage like the gaki-oni did to us." Barry shuddered at the thought. Akane glanced up at Barry. "Is there some way of keeping it from latching back on?"

"That's my job," Mousse interrupted. "Hidden weapon technique applies. I came prepared." He pulled a heavy earthenware container with a thick lead cap from his right sleeve.

"Let's do this..."

As the shadows grew, the claws of each segment were gently and delicately disengaged from their grips in the auras of the three girls. Akane shifted back and forth, moving around the immediate action in the tight confines of the inner ward like a hyperactive ballerina, unconsciously displaying the balance and poise she gained since the lake. She delivered a running commentary of what she observed. From time to time, Cologne would suggest a course of action, based on her experience. Some segments of the block were more difficult to extract than others. Occasionally elements of the auras needed to be deliberately broken, then gently reconnected, to remove the interloping presence. Some elements and connections simply could not be disrupted. In these cases, Cologne was absolutely required, as her interpretations of Akane's observations spelled the difference between life and death.

As the moon rose, Mousse's face grew increasingly haggard. He observed that, while the weight of normal substances was mostly negated by his technique, _this_ substance retained substantial weight. He strained, as Barry gently spread the ki apart and extracted the looping horror revealed. Clouds zipped across the stars, speeding on high-altitude winds, which indicated a front coming through. Barry kept reminding herself to breathe. She was well aware of Mousse's strain, as she was the failing energy of Akane and Cologne. Akane's voice was becoming hoarse, her words slurred. Cologne had been maintaining the wards, which served ultimately to contain what they worked on and prevent outside influences, drawn to the working, from interfering. Twice, energies had clashed at the corners of their vision, indicating an interloper repelled.

The more she worked on this... this _thing_, the more it resembled some horrific spiritual tapeworm. She reached with her ki and lifted free the last segment before the division to, for lack of a better word, the heads. The triple necks protruded from the mouth of the jar. She paused and looked at Akane and Mousse then called across to Cologne.

"We're to the final stage, Granny."

"Impertinent whelp," she chuckled from her position by the pond. "What's the delay?"

"The three heads are attached directly to the wheel of the reproductive ki, Cologne," Akane husked, her voice warbling a little. "This thing is all connected. If we take a head off, the other heads may react violently, because its nourishment will be threatened. If we simply cut the heads, which Barry might manage with Nekoken, I get the feeling it will simply re-grow."

"Barry?" Cologne queried.

"I agree. We have to get all the heads off."

"Please, hurry," croaked Mousse.

"Barry," Cologne said suddenly. "Do you remember how you imitated Kodachi?"

The redhead shuddered. "All too well, thank you."

"Can you can generate a ki ball that imitates the ki of one of the girls?"

Barry considered. "I think I see where yer goin'," she frowned thoughtfully. "Make a sort of pacifier or baby-soother for each head while we lift it out?"

"Exactly."

Barry bit her lip, peering from one to the other of the heads, wondering where to start.

"Do the twins first, Barry," suggested Akane. "While everyone's ki is unique, theirs has more similarities than not. You could maintain the imitation longer and have time to work on Shampoo."

There was a long silence as Barry considered. Wind whipping the tree branches was not felt within the wards. "Let's finish this!" Barry straightened and held out her hands, palms toward the sky. Light blossomed and spun into balls of energy visible only to the inner eye. The colors shifted and changed, and changed some more. The balls drifted off her hands to sink into the younger Amazons' bodies. At Barry's urging, they drifted through the auras of those young bodies to come to rest at the 'mouth' that sucked upon their life forces. She moved to Ling-Ling and gently disengaged the mouth, which shifted sleepily then settled again as she maneuvered it into the mouth of the jar. She moved to Lung-Lung and, as she worked, became aware that Akane was hefting her mallet, ready on some instinctive level to respond if the thing became active. Carefully, the second head was shifted to the jar. The largest and, she supposed, the oldest of the heads remained.

Barry labored to produce another ki ball tailored to Shampoo, and let it drift against the sucking mouth. Tooth by tooth, the mouth was disengaged from Shampoo's ki. Straining from maintaining three separate illusions and projective ki manifestations, Barry shifted the heavy head toward the jar. With a muffled groan, Mousse let the jar rest on the ground. Barry paused, winked at him in support and slowly poured the last of the thing into the containing jar. As the head slipped into its prison, four unholy burning eyes opened around the gaping mouth.

"_**I will be fed!" **_

Barry winced at the volume of the voice that echoed in her head. Desperately she slammed the lead lid down on the roaring toothy face. It launched her skyward with a surge of power.

"**_I will be fed!" _**The head reared up, eldritch flames beginning to light its surface.

"Ki-yah!" (BAM!)

"_Owie!_" The head looked rather flattened by Akane's mallet. It sank back into the jar, apparently concussed, and Mousse scrambled for the lid, snatching it up and clapping it down as fast as he could. Using the fire-claw technique, Barry hurriedly sealed the lid in its slot, and incised the sealing symbol on its surface. The demon was contained.

"Nice shot, tomboy," Barry commented shakily. She watched amused as Akane tried to retort and whispered ineffectively. After a moment, she brandished her mallet at the redhead.

"Is it over?" asked Mousse shakily.

"It looks like it," Cologne said from beside the koi pond. Cologne paced her outer wards and negated the walls that had protected them. She hopped over to the jar and placed a hand against it, wincing at the raging voice that could be heard faintly when in contact. She turned to her descendants and felt the ki of each girl, as they lay immobile, still under the influence of her drug. After a moment, she looked up at Barry with the first honest, open smile Ranma's memories or his own could recall. "They're already recovering," she said shakily. "The blockage is totally gone." Barry looked away from the tears she heard.

"Heh! Well... me for some hot water! Thanks, Mousse." She accepted a thermos Mousse pulled out of a sleeve. "Does the hidden weapons technique conserve heat, Mousse?" She poured. "Yowtch! I guess it does," he finished.

(SPANG! SPANG! SPANG! SPANG!) Hoops of dark metal plummeted from the sky to drop over the heads of the martial artists standing in the Tendo garden. As the loops passed their shoulders, the hoops made the odd sound of stressed metal and expanded vertically as they contracted horizontally. Almost instantly, four individuals were cocooned in metal coils.

A dark form dropped from the eaves of the roof to crouch in the shadows of the porch. "Well, that went as well as expected." Jean Koile pulled off his mask and moved into the light. The Master of Slinky-fu verified that they were immobilized then sat on the sealed ceramic container. His thin cheeks puffed out comically and he shoved his wire rim glasses back up on his nose. "Better actually," he added, nudging Barry with a toe.

"Koile! What the hell do you think you're doing?" growled Barry, glaring at the thin figure.

"Earning my three-squares, Saotome," the man said simply. "And indulging a bit of curiosity. What were you people doing?"

"None of your business," Barry snorted. "And just how is wrapping us in steel earning you anything?"

"I'm an assassin," Koile admitted. "Freelance. Don't bother asking who sent me." He stood again and tried to shift the jar. With some effort, it toppled sidewise, then rolled a few centimeters, leaving a track like a rolling pin. "Hmmm… If you're wondering, I already checked your house and pumped some nice soporifics into your neighbor's houses; so go ahead and yell if you want. Very heavy! Tell me, just what is in this?"

"If you're an assassin, I presume we're the contract," Barry said. "What's in it for us?"

"A quick death, as well as having the honor of being my one-thousandth job." Koile put his foot on the jar and rocked it back and forth. "I use Slinkys to subdue my targets and various substances to interrogate and finish them. Why opt for more pain than necessary?" He leaned over and, exerting considerable strength, managed to upright the jar again. "Oh, well. As heavy as this is, it's almost got to be one of the noble metals. Am I right?"

"It's a demon container, Koile-san. Open it, and you're dead." Cologne's voice grated in the darkness and left Koile standing stock still in the shadows near the pond. He snorted. He laughed hysterically. Barry had a sinking feeling Koile was going to do something _really_ stupid. The only question was whether he would do it before or after he killed them.

The man walked over to the three Amazons. "Pretty. Too bad I can't keep one, but I have to make certain I remain unobserved. Such is life." He picked up Lung-Lung by her hair and waved a hand before her eyes. She murmured in protest. "Nope, can't risk it." He dropped her onto the ground and walked back to his captives.

"Now _you_ are a surprise," he said to Barry. I would have sworn you were a girl just a few minutes ago." He took out a small penlight and shined it on Barry's face, then the others. Hmmm… Saotome Ranma, Tendo Akane and Mousse, right? Good! And those girls are Shampoo, Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung. And you," he kicked Cologne, "are the Matriarch of the Joketsuzoku." He seemed to check off some mental list. "I should be all finished up in just a few more days then," he said complacently.

"Huuuu, hehhh," rasped Akane's voice. Koile looked at her puzzled.

"Who else?" Barry interpreted.

Koile smiled, but didn't answer. He snapped his fingers and walked to the koi pond. Cupping some water in his hands, he moved back over to Barry and splashed him. The change occurred and metal coils shifted, as he became she and shrank in size. "Damn! I really didn't believe it." He walked around Barry. "I may just keep you. I can think of five or six governments who would love to do research on you."

Barry just scowled. The coils that wrapped her still contained a lot of potential energy. While she and Akane could escape using the shield technique, Mousse and Cologne would be helpless and the girls, woozy from the drug, were also at risk. Then inspiration dawned. "If ya think I'm special, ya should see what Mousse is like." Koile eyed the curves that bulged behind the tight-wrapped steel bands that cocooned the redhead and raised an eyebrow.

"Saotome," snarled Mousse, "how could you betray me like that?"

Good, Mousse picked up his cues. Of them all, other than Ranma, only Mousse, as master of hidden weapons, was still dangerous in his cursed form. If he could keep Koile busy long enough, Barry and Akane could escape to gang up on the man. Between them, they could put any martial artist alive down in seconds.

Oh, please don' t'row me in dat briar patch, Br'er Fox! Koile mocked them in English as he knelt beside the pot. "Nice try. I'll just check out this pot. Then you can all try to convince me to give you a quick send off."

Barry cursed. "Don't open the pot, you fool!" Koile began to pry at the seal with a small knife. She sensed power surge from Akane and winced; not nearly enough power to shove the coils wide enough to escape. Akane must be more exhausted than Barry had thought. She boggled as the shorthaired girl blazed past them, heading for the assassin with deadly intensity. 'What?'

(SPANG!)

The sound of Akane's former prison collapsing in on itself alerted Koile to his danger. He leaped back in time to avoid Akane's initial attack. Barry blazed power into her shield and, as she gained swinging room, ripped apart the huge Slinky with the neko-claws. She spared a glance for the other captives. They'd have to wait. Koile implied he used poisons and no way was she going to let Akane face that alone. Koile kept Akane at bay using a version of his Slinky Chinese yo-yo weapon. It moved in strange patterns and, to ki-vision, it reeked of death. As Barry blazed in, she noted that it cut through the privacy fence as well as any katana and suspected the edges were coated in poison. Koile saw Barry coming and threw what looked like several balls of heavy-duty steel wool at her. Expecting the worst, Barry tried to place herself between Koile and the prisoners behind her, throwing up full shields. "Akane! Hit the dirt!"

(SPANgerOWwowWowow!) The 'steel wool' expanded and ripped apart like shrapnel grenades, sending sharp threads of metal everywhere. Behind them, the ceramic pot holding the demon toppled over. Koile leaped between them as they recovered and came to a stop beside the pot. He held up a small box in one hand and turned back to his opponents. "Stop right there or your friends are dead. I don't know how you two got out, but if I press this button, the magnetic fields keeping their bonds from crushing them will collapse. I want you two to back off and sit down over there." He smiled nastily.

Barry frowned. 'Magnetic field?' She realized, then, that Akane had recognized the prison's controls and expanded her prison enough to escape, whereas Barry had gone the brute strength route. How could she take advantage of this? She saw Koile start and glance down. She tensed but hesitated; there was too much distance, even for her or Akane...

"Wha—! Why is this glowing?" demanded Koile shakily.

(KRACKT-TOW!) The demon pot split and fell in pieces.

"_**I will be fed!" **_

The assassin was knocked off his feet by contact with unseen substance. He stared at the smoking pieces of the empty pot and babbled. "Where's the gold?"

Barry and Akane were already beside Mousse and Cologne, and the former watched how Akane expanded Mousse's prison before releasing the Matriarch. "Incoming!" rapped Cologne and Barry snapped up shields. The demon went right through them.

"**_I WILL be fed!" _**shouted the soundless voice whose existence rasped like a file on a blackboard tuned to bass notes.

Barry gasped in shock and pain, as her aura began to shred away under its onslaught. Desperately, she reached for the only weapon available that had been effective before, only limiting it to the shields she armored her arms with. Her pain redoubled as the effect of the technique tore at her psyche and the mere presence of the modified shield caused the worm to recoil with a shriek. She struck and the demon's segments smoked and cracked under the blow. It was not decisive this time, however.

The head darted in again like a cobra strike. **_"I WILL BE FED!" _**Fortunately, cobras are not that fast and Barry dodged the hit and struck again. As it screamed, Akane laid into it with a mallet. The toothy maw was slammed into the ground. This time, however, it rose up and oriented on the other girl. **_"YOU! I WILL PUNISH YOUR IMPERTINENCE!" _**

Barry felt threat and dodged. Koile's Slinky-sword whipped by, passing through the space the demon apparently occupied without affecting it at all. "You _fool_! You released a demon with your greed," Barry shouted, eyes tearing with the pain. It was a good pain however, compared to the agony of the worm's maw.

"What have you done to my arm?"Koile screamed The arm that had held the remote control was limp and boneless at his side. Startled, Barry paid closer attention and noticed a feeding head, previously anchored to Ling-Ling or Lung-Lung, attached to the arm. Koile's ki was being rapidly consumed as the thing worked its way into his torso, devouring the aura as it went. Barry dodged again as the sword wow-wowed past, and struck with a ki-encased fist aimed, not at Koile, but the thing that was eating him.

Koile screamed. The worm-head screamed and released its hold on Koile. The main head was distracted from its attack on Akane and was bashed again by her mallet. It seemed to lose the edge it had earlier and Barry suspected that without a body to feed from, it exhausted its energy quickly. She drove in at the worm, smashing with ki-clad arms, trying to summon up the neko-claws and combine that technique with this one. Koile staggered, his affected arm withered and dry looking, the displaced arm of some ancient mummy hanging incongruously from his shoulder. He stumbled and drew back his good arm, aiming at the redheaded girl that caused him such agony. Barry moved between the demon and her friends and herded it away from them. Behind her, she heard Akane croak painfully at Cologne, asking if there was some way to imprison it again.

"**_I WILL BE FED!" _**it shrieked and suddenly dodged away.

Koile, his arm already moving forward to strike, screamed in agony as the demon turned its full attention on him. Mouths seemed to sprout from all three heads like the tentacles of a jellyfish, and Koile went down under its flashing mass. The demon quivered as it fed, its presence becoming more solid by the moment until, with a sense of horror, Barry realized the beast was becoming visible to the naked eye.

Barry and Akane leaped forward, one armed with ki, the other with a mallet that had proved at least partially effective in hurting the monster. They hammered at the beast, driving it away from the whimpering and now limp assassin. It thrashed and roared, its struggles beginning to interact with physical substance as well as ki. It threw them back twice, attempting to reattach to the feebly moving Koile, then...

_(KKRRAACKKK!)_The mallet head rose from between two of its now dimly glowing eyes. Its body shuddered and lost its flame and substance. Suddenly, it looked like nothing so much as a jumbo-sized Cecil the Seasick Sea Serpent puppet.

"Wow! Another good one, tomb—!" began Barry, then stopped, shocked. It wasn't Akane at the other end of the mallet.

"You don't belong here, Nidhugg!" cried Sakurida, glaring. Her hands still firmly grasped the grip of the mallet.

"_Owie_!" The beast quivered as if trapped in stone. _"Not fair. I'm hungry_._"_ Its whining voice was a whisper compared to what it had been.

"You get fed all the time, worm." Sakurida suddenly brandished her mallet and glanced sidewise at her audience. Her next words were incomprehensible, but tickled at the edge of recognition. For some reason Barry was reminded of Sakurida's engineering notations. She caught the word 'Nidhugg' again and the demon burst like a string of bubbles, starting with the tip of the tail segment and working rapidly up to the heads.

"_It's… not... fair_," the last head whimpered plaintively just before it popped.

Koile's groans broke them all from their shocked contemplation of Sakurida. Barry sank down beside the man and scanned him deeply. She shook her head. "I really don't know what we're going to tell the police."

* * *

Barry sincerely wished Nabiki were present for this session. She managed to convince the police, with some help from the others, that Koile had identified himself as an assassin intent on carrying out a contract against them. Individually and as a group, they assured the authorities that they were unaware of anyone who might particularly want them dead and assured them that Sakurida was an innocent bystander, a friend that had gotten caught in the action. 

They were relieved when the police reported back that all the neighbors had been rescued. They responded well to treatment by the emergency medical personnel and, aside from hangovers from whatever Koile used, were unharmed.

The story that Koile had been cut with his own equipment had the police gingerly collecting every shred of metal left by his weapons. Koile now looked like he was eighty years old with a sort of dry rot starting in his extremities. Only his identification and the fact that when the police had arrived he had looked only sixty with massive bruising kept them from questioning his condition. Barry walked around with the police, using ki-vision to locate every scrap of poisonous shrapnel and assuring that they were particularly cautious with the Slinky-sword.

It was dawn by the time they finished and everyone was sitting exhausted in the Tendo main room. The silence at first was deafening. Then Sakurida giggled, looking at Cologne. She snickered and the sound was incredibly contagious, except everyone was nearly too tired to care.

"What's wrong, child?" Cologne grated. The old woman was in a noticeably good mood as her repeated scans of her great-granddaughters continued to show healing of the projective levels. Had she been asked, she might have admitted that she was nearly as nervous and excited as the day they had been born. Still, having a young chit like Sakurida laugh at her...

"Your face... Those marks!" She giggled again as Cologne reached up to touch the paint on her old cheeks.

"Oh." The Matriarch fixed Sakurida with a glare. "If I guess correctly, you are very familiar with the significance of these marks?"

"Well, yeah," Sakurida stopped laughing and looked a little defensive.

"How did you just happen to arrive at so critical a time and recognize exactly what to do?" Cologne pressed. Her gaze sharpened. She wasn't certain just who Sakurida and her sister were, but she decided that the mental lethargy she normally felt when questions like this came up just wasn't going to cut it this time. Sakurida sweated and gulped. Anyone in the focus of this old woman's gaze would. Barry felt sorry for her and just a little amused. She had saved them and, for just a second there, he had thought...

"You know, I thought you were the tomboy when that hammer came down," he chuckled. "Didn't think anybody else knew how to wield a mallet like that!" He ducked as Akane threatened him again. She was silent, however, her throat too sore to speak. "You knew what that thing was, too. Are you and yer sister part of some kind of religion or something that fights these things? What?" Barry blinked at Cologne as she glared daggers at him.

"Well, yes... sort of," Sakurida offered, "And it's all three of us. We have an older sister, Urudu Kamiko. That's why I recognized the symbols you have drawn on your faces. My oldest sister has long white hair and is very vain about her looks."

"Bit of a shock to see those marks on the mummy, huh?" Barry offered. (Thwack!) "Ow! I had that coming. Sorry, Granny."

"No stranger than seeing Baradandya's marks on yours, Barry," Sakurida giggled.

"I got hers? I'm honored. Appropriate, I guess, since I was using her technique to fight that thing." He nodded to the mallet. "Is that part of the costume?"

"This?" She clutched her mallet protectively. "Well, sort of."

"That means you and Akane are even closer than I thought," Barry grinned. "Malleteers of the world unite!"

"Baka," drawled Sakurida. Akane nodded emphatically in agreement.

"So, what brought you by last night?" Cologne demanded again, shushing Barry.

"I was hoping Barry and Akane hadn't gone to bed yet," Sakurida said. "I mean, it's not as if they go to sleep when the sun goes down."

"Jeez, Sakurida," Barry said blushing. "Watch how ya say that!"

"Shut up, Barry-baka," Cologne grated. "And you are practitioners of a cult of the Three?"

"I wouldn't call us a cult!" Sakurida looked hurt. "The symbology of the three sisters is recognized across Europe and Asia. Past, present and future personified in…"

"The Greek Fates, the Scandinavian Norns — there are others, but those are the best known today," Barry injected, his face lighting up. "Lachesys, Clotho and Atropos, or Skuld, Beldandy and Urd. It would have been nice to know the deeper meaning." She glared at Cologne with a hint of pique.

"I felt you would have enough difficulty dealing with the foreign symbology, Barry," the old woman said. "Your background in Christianity tends to make you suspicious of magic, and I really wanted you in the ritual."

Barry rubbed his forehead. "You're saying that this was magic?"

"Of course. Magic is a word used to describe that which is unknown. _Ki_ manipulation and the existence of the Immortals is unknown to most and, therefore, magic."

"Old ghoul," Barry said, without much heat.

"Are you really upset that you represented an Immortal in the ritual, Barry?" Sakurida seemed almost in tears at the thought.

Barry glanced at her then at Cologne. "Just so ya all understand, it's not worship," he said finally. "That's only for the One, for me. How are the girls?" he asked Cologne, putting it all behind him.

Shampoo spoke for herself. "I am fine, Barry. Thank you."

"Feel any different?"

"I... don't know. Maybe. Will you still teach how to use ki?"

Barry suddenly grinned. "You bet! Even the One expects us to use our talents, cat-girl." He looked out the window. "But first, I think we all better get ready for school." He frowned and looked across at the pond. "Then we need ta find out who's using assassins these days."

"I think I have some contacts who can help there," Cologne offered. "But someone like this had to have money behind him."

The phone rang. They looked at one another. Barry nodded to Cologne. "Nodoka," she said.

Barry pointed to Akane. "Nodoka, no bets," Akane husked. "She's going to be wondering where you were last night." She walked over and picked up the phone. "Moshi, moshi," Akane smiled painfully and gave them a thumbs-up. "Hello, Aunt Nodoka. Yes, I know I sound terrible. Barry?" She made a face and looked at Barry who made a throat-cutting sign. "Could you talk to Cologne, please? My throat is sore; I've been talking all night."

Sakurida looked at the paling skyline and sighed. "I have to be going," she apologized. "I have a morning class. Tadiama!" She flitted to the door and was gone before Cologne could disengage from the phone to further question her.

"You going to school today, Shampoo?" asked Barry.

The Amazon smiled and hugged herself. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Barry made a point of looking for Mrs. Morisato before class. He found her in the teacher's lounge and bowed to her respectfully. "Ranma," she acknowledged. As soon as the other teachers were gone she leaned forward. "Barry-san, how did your working go?"

"Thank you, Baradandya Morisato. We would have died if it weren't for your technique and your sister showing up when she did." Barry remained in the formal supplicant's position.

"Please, Barry-san, that is not necessary. I'm not Japanese either. I'm glad it went well." She indicated the coffee machine and a tray of rolls on the side table. "Would you like something?"

"Only more sleep," he replied. He took a roll, however. "Now, I can work on getting home."

"Yes, you must be pleased." She smiled like the sun coming out. "What was that you said about my sister?"

"After the... ritual was over and the wards were dropped, we had a visitor. We had trapped the demon in a jar and sealed it, like so." He drew the symbol on the desktop with a finger. "Our visitor wanted to kill us, but when he realized the jar was so heavy, he decided it was a treasure of some kind and opened it."

"Oh, my. I take it the creature was unhappy with you?" Mrs. Morisato poured tea and offered it to Barry, so much like Kasumi that he smiled.

"A little. Kept yelling 'I will be fed!' and all. I ran your technique through my shields, and used those to punch the thing. It didn't like that at all."

"Oh, dear. You really shouldn't use it that way. Wasn't it painful?"

Barry nodded. "Ranma taught me, pain can always be endured if it's for the right reasons."

His audience nodded in understanding. Then with a smile, she took a tissue from a box and wet it with her tongue. She leaned forward and scrubbed at his forehead. "You missed a spot," she said. He grinned and ducked away, embarrassed. The paint from the markings was devilishly hard to take off.

The door banged open and a gorgeous woman with platinum blond hair glided in, stopping and evaluating them as soon as she was aware of their presence. Barry was immediately conscious of the fact that on one level, Mrs. Morisato was delighted to see this person. On another level she was, by turns, annoyed, dismayed and just a little defensive. The woman smiled, waved breezily and gave Barry a once over that would have earned Ranma a pounding had _any _of the girls seen it. It evaluated and invited, with no expectation of refusal, to romp. Barry blushed, wondering why he was thinking of chocolate mousse, low lighting, furo and satiny cloth sliding... He shook his head to clear it of the unwanted distraction. "Hi, there," the woman said. "I'm Urudu. Who might you be?"

Barry shook his head again. He focused on her face and tried to think. "I'm..." Suddenly he realized who this must be. "You're Skuld and Beldandy's older sister, Urd?" He used the original pronunciations, as a distraction for both of them. Fortunately, it seemed to work. She stopped dead in her tracks as if she found herself in the sights of an automatic weapon. He saw her pushiness withdrawn and sensed a preparation for battle. "I'm Ranma Saotome... at least for the moment."

She blinked, reassessed and looked at him in an odd way. She was much more restrained as she slid past him to receive a hug from her sister. Some form of nonverbal communication passed between them. She turned back to Barry and smiled less hungrily, but with a teasing look in her eyes, which told him that, if she wanted to, she could get him in _real _trouble and he'd probably guiltily enjoy it. "So you're Ranma?" The way she said it, Barry almost looked down to make sure nothing embarrassing was showing and he had matching socks. "Pleased to meet you," she added. She frowned suddenly and looked closely at his face. He felt a shock, as she seemed to turn off the pushy sex appeal once more and become instead a competent, concerned young woman. She touched one cheek and his forehead before he could draw back and looked puzzled.

Mrs. Morisato smiled and said, "Jusenkyo. Actually, Ranma has several interesting problems, sister."

Urudu glanced from her sister to Barry and back again, as she nodded in understanding and stepped back. "Is he why you and the shrimp were reassigned from the Relief Office?" she demanded.

Barry frowned. 'Relief Office?'

* * *

Near the front gate of Furinkan, Hiroshi, Daisuke and Gosunkugi were toweling off after a morning run. Gos only did half the number of laps the others had, but was well satisfied. The two had adopted Gos after the flag football game and convinced the spidery youth that there was more to life than cameras, spells and voodoo dolls. Though he still carried his camera everywhere, he discovered more normal activities as well. He knelt and snapped some pictures of the people using the early morning track, while the other two snickered or pointed to this or that girl that they might want to get to know. As yet, they were unaware that they were, in turn, increasingly a source of interest among the young ladies who watched the track watchers. 

"Pardon me, boys."

They turned and stopped dead. Behind them was a gorgeous blond woman in some of the most exotic leather clothing they'd ever seen outside of their skin magazines. Hip-high boots studded with heavy buckles encased long slender legs. The costume covering her body seemed to be nothing more than a confusing array of leather belts armed with metal spikes that bristled every which way. The belts hugged the body in a way that suggested bondage to their fevered brains. Fingerless leather gloves covered her arms past the elbow and became crisscrossing straps that eventually buckled at her shoulders. A huge black cape with a red and gold design swirled slightly in the morning breeze. The temptation to reach out and release that firm body from its leathery prison was offset by the threat an embrace against those spikes created. On her cheekbones and forehead, marks in crimson stood out. Gosunkugi, peeking between them from his kneeling position, paled and snapped a photo, his last for that roll. Every sense he had was screaming '_danger'_ at the sight of this woman. Dropping in a fresh roll of film, he continued to snap frame after frame.

"Wooo-fa!" murmured Daisuke with glazed eyes.

"Yeah, leather-clad Bad Biker Babe!" Hiroshi murmured back, referring to a particularly striking photo they had in their collection.

The woman smiled hungrily, showing some fang. Such morons, these little boys... Mere snacks if she troubled herself to taste them. But she was after bigger game.

"Ummm... You wouldn't be related to Ryoga Hibiki, would you?"

The woman blinked. 'Who?' She shook her head. Mustn't let herself get distracted. "I'm looking for someone, _not_ you boys, and wondered if anyone around here had seen her? You fellows look like you wouldn't miss someone who looks like her." She pulled a photo from somewhere and showed it to them. It was of a well-tanned woman in a skimpy string bikini, her long platinum blonde hair billowing out in a cloud, her eyes closed as if sleeping. The picture had been taken from a high angle, with excellent focus. She snickered as their jaws dropped and they drooled. Truth to tell, she was a bit miffed. They didn't have to drool so much over the slut, with her, dressed the way she was, standing right in front of them! She yanked the photo away.

"Well?"

Daisuke shook himself and blinked. He thought a moment. Where had he seen the woman in the photo before? It was really too bad the woman before them was so distracting. It was hard to think clearly when all your glands were going, 'Heh, hah, huh, huh, heeeee!'

"Hee, hee, hee! _Swee-to_!" (GLOMP!)

"_Aaugh_!" The blond woman backed up two steps from the impact and stared horrified at the wrinkled thing attached to her chest. Her fingers twitched as if she were unsure whether she might catch some disease by touching the thing. Any girl around Furinkan would have sympathized. Happosai was like that.

"What are you?" she snarled, showing more of those Hibiki-like fangs.

"Just an old man, enjoying the pleasures of his declining years," burbled Happosai happily. "My, what an _interesting_ costume you have."

"Get lost, you decrepit freak!" she snarled, punching down in a very authoritative manner. The wrinkled old fool somehow slipped her blow and danced away, holding... holding her...

"My, what an interesting costume you had," murmured Hiroshi, holding his nose. Dai was already down and Gos was frozen in mid-snap of his camera.

"_Aaugh!" _

Purple lightning gathered around the enraged and revealed woman, who had been left with her boots, cloak and gloves, but nothing else. Maybe she didn't believe in underwear? She launched bolt after bolt at the dodging pervert who laughed and moved away, the woman's 'liberated' costume flapping behind him. Bellowing, the blond rose in the air in preparation of pursuing her tormentor. She spared a glance at the three boys, noted the camera and blasted it out of Gosunkugi's hands with some kind of energy bolt. Raging, she vanished rapidly after Happosai.

* * *

Barry left the teacher's lounge and smiled. Mrs. Morisato had a very nice and, he had to admit, _very_ beautiful sister. Funny, though, he felt as if he were forgetting something. His thoughts were interrupted by the sudden appearance of Hiroshi, Daisuke and Gosunkugi, dressed for the track. 

"Ranma! Ranma!" Hiroshi shouted, excited. "You should have seen it!"

"Yah, you shouldb hab seend idt!" agreed Daisuke, holding his nose.

Gosunkugi just held his ruined camera and cried.

"There was this... leather wrapped Biker Babe, like right out of 'Rolling Seduction', and she was lookin' for some gal in the smallest bikini I've ever seen," Hiroshi exclaimed. "Then Happosai came by and stole her costume. Wow, was she mad!"

"Wow, was she beautifully butt-nekked!" Dai added, beginning, finally, to recover.

"Except the boots and gloves," Hiroshi corrected. Dai held his nose again and grimaced. Gosunkugi held his ruined camera and cried.

Barry groaned. "The girl in the picture, she didn't have red hair, did she?" God! Was this yet another nut looking for Ranma? He could remember a few times when a bikini figured in Ranma's ploys.

"Not this time," Hiroshi reassured him, grinning in understanding. "But that's not all. This chick was so pissed she started throwing ki-blasts of some type around. The pervert lit out laughing like a... a pervert, and she flew after him!"

"She _flew_? Like with wings?" Barry had visions of Phoenix Mountain folk back in town with their damn mind-control eggs. He glanced at Gosunkugi. 'Poor sap! Did the camera mean that much to him?'

"No, she just hovered up into the air and zoomed off, like Goku in Dragonball Z!"

Suddenly, Hiroshi boggled and gasped and Dai did the same.

"That's her!" they shouted in unison, "The one in the picture!" Barry whipped around.

Urudu Kamiko jerked to a stop and boggled back at the two. Behind her, Mrs. Morisato waved to the two students. "Hello, Hiroshi, Daisuke. Is something wrong with Hikaru?" Hikaru held out his camera. "Oh, dear," the teacher said sympathetically, looking at the mess.

Urudu moved to one side and along the lockers, still caught in the gaze of Hiro and Dai. "Um... I don't remember you two from anywhere," she said, darting glances back and forth.

"But you're the babe that other babe was looking for!" exclaimed Hiroshi. There was intensely puzzled silence from the other side of the hall. "Happosai glomped her and stole her suit." At her blank look, he added, "Happosai? He's a little gnome-like freak, steals panties…"

"_That was Happosai!"_Urd's hair lifted and swirled. Power ran across her shoulders and she seemed to rise off the ground, herself. Barry backed away, remembering what Mrs. Morisato could do, even though she seemed much less obvious in her power. The others backed away as well. Even Gos forgot his camera for the moment.

Principal Kuno walked by, stopped, backed up and observed the heat rising off the woman as well as the attitudes of the students around her, especially Saotome. He grinned wickedly as he came to a decision.

"Hey, hey, hey! Aloha, beautiful wahini!" he said, in as near to a suave manner as he could manage. He ignored the blazing look Urudu sent his way. "Yo look as if you hab seen de warm suns and gentle breezes of de islands, yah!

Mrs. Morisato bowed. Amazon Month or not, there were some situations where respect, as little as it was deserved, must be offered. "Principal Kuno? This is my older sister, Urudu Kamiko. She was stopping by to visit..."

"But I suddenly realized I have a good reason to stay in the area," finished Urudu tight-lipped. She took several deep breaths to calm herself, which did anything but calm her male audience.

"Yo wouldn't happen to hab any teachin' experience, yah?" Kuno asked slyly. Mrs. Morisato's sister nodded slightly, obviously suspicious. Barry bit back a groan. The idea of Ms. Kamiko teaching at Furinkan left him with a feeling of dread.

Urudu Kamiko, better known as Urd, Norn of History, suddenly grinned. This would solve her money and housing problem while she sought out that little creep Happosai. "You betcha!" she said strongly.

"Yatta!" the Pineapple Fruitcake exclaimed. "It settled then. You start today."

"How wonderful for you, Urudu!" her sister exclaimed.

"What class?" Urudu was suddenly uneasy. Didn't she need her references checked? Who was weird looking man anyway? She asked him.

"I be de big kahuna, Headmaster Kuno, and you, sweet wahini, be da new teacher of History fo' de senior class."

"Doesn't Mrs. Morisato teach senior class History?" Barry reminded the ebullient principal.

"No more," Principal Kuno said smugly.

"Ex-_cuse_ me?" Barry retorted, eyes narrowing in horror as everyone face-faulted. He grabbed the man by his violently violet shirt collar.

* * *

Kodachi Kuno retouched her makeup in preparation for school. She was going to be late this morning, but it had been worth it. There was some validity to Ranma's 'duty of a martial artist'! Yes, she had a real feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment from this morning's extra-curricular activity. 

Hanging from a ceiling hook, a partially cooked Happosai swung in his martial arts rhythmic gymnastic ribbon cocoon and muttered. 'Pretty ladies' seemed the main topic of his monologue. He cried as a door opened nearby and a blond woman emerged, adjusting the straps of her leather costume. She paused, sending a crackle of energy his way. He twitched spastically. "Is he always like this?" the blond asked, finally satisfied with her gear.

"Sometimes he is worse," admitted Kodachi. "He is a veritable plague upon womankind. No matter our station, truly are we joined in our common condition, to aid each other in frustrating his twisted perversions."

"Uh… right." Actually, Marller was impressed by Happosai's game, irritated that he included her in it, but otherwise impressed. The old fart gained power and a type of immortality from the energy he stole. Now that she had her clothing back, she'd need some way to turn him loose so he could create more havoc. With any luck, he could even be a pawn to irritate those goddesses.

"If you wish, feel free to make yourself at home while I am gone," Kodachi offered with unusual largess. "Sasuke!"

The little ninja appeared as if from nowhere. Marller frowned. She'd really had enough of ninja in her time. "Yes, mistress!"

"Please see to my guest's comfort, Sasuke," Kodachi said, picking up her bookbag. "Happosai has discommoded her; and in sisterly spirit, I feel compelled to insure that… Mara?" The demon shrugged. "...Mara suffers not from the experience." With a flourish she made her exit.

Sasuke maintained his fawning posture until the door closed behind Kodachi before rising smoothly to his feet. "If you will come this way, Mistress Mara, I can— _Wowza_!" Sasuke stared, sweating, at her garb. He swallowed. "Uhhh... please forgive me," he stuttered. "May I get you anything?"

Marller smiled. "Mistress, eh?" She sauntered closer, sensing fear.

Elsewhere, students muttered angrily. Soon, there would be hell to pay.


	46. Big Bad Biker Babe

**Guest Ki: Chapter 45**

_**Big Bad Biker Babe**_

"Class, I would like to introduce my sister," Mrs. Morisato said to the senior-level history class, "Urudu Kamiko. She will be teaching this history class from now on." She smiled sadly, patted her sister on the shoulder and stepped aside.

Urudu tried to smile at the class but was met with a wall of hostile glares. Word had gotten around of the change in personnel and nobody was happy about it. "Ah, ha-ha! Sorry 'bout this. Class, please call me Kamiko-sensei or Ms. Kamiko." She paled at the angry or sarcastic muttered recitals of her name. As her sister left, Urudu Kamiko gulped and tried to make the best of a very bad situation.

As Kamiko-sensei began to outline where she felt the class would go from here, Barry sat with his head in one hand. To him the vote was still out on whether to feel sorry for the woman or not. Urudu did not have her sister's ability to calm people. Quite the opposite, in fact. If the class hadn't been loyally angry with her for usurping Mrs. Morisato's place, the guys would have been drooling over her. The girls would have been furious at her for capturing their guys' attention. Somehow, even though she had changed her clothes to something more conservative and sedate, she still didn't have the air of authority an instructor needed. Pinup model came to mind.

Said pin-up model ran her hands through her platinum hair and scanned the study notes her sister left her. Early first millennia Japan; the Wa, the matriarchal societies, early tribal groups that contributed to or conflicted with the nascent Japanese culture... If only she hadn't started to obsess over Happosai! 'I've gone and done it again,' she thought. She dreaded the next telephone call at the Temple, the looks Keiichi and Sku— Sakurida would direct her way. Reciting silent _mea culpa_ to Baradandya, she tried to fill her shoes, fully aware that, for the moment, she had no idea what those shoes were.

When that maniac hired her, one boy had been prepared to do _extreme_ violence to the Principal. The tree-bearing idiot was a menace to civilization! Baradandya, softhearted as she was, objected to physical persuasion and Ranma released him with a look of disgust. The boy _had_ shown some intelligence in demanding that Baradandya be permitted to continue teaching in some other capacity until she found a new position. The Fruitcake at first ignored his demands, trusting in Mrs. Morisato's request to protect him from Ranma's wrath. Fortunately, a purple-haired girl, Shampoo, came up at that point, heard what happened and strung the waistband of his cabana shorts up over his forehead before her former teacher could voice further objections. Principal Kuno suggested in a breathless, strained voice, that help was needed in Home Economics.

"I see you have already covered some of the information on the groups indigent to Yamato, Ise and Kawachi," Miss Kamiko said slowly, "and that everyone is in the middle of giving verbal reports to the class for credit." She looked at the schedule. "Ummm... I have listed Ukyo Kuonji, Daisuke Ryuochii and Akane Tendo as due to give reports today."

Barry winced as Akane smacked her forehead in disgust. She had, in the excitement of fixing Shampoo's ki problem, forgotten her report was today. It wasn't that she was unprepared; on paper, she had been ready for over a week. The non-stop assessment that had been part of the ritual last night had left her with no voice today. She couldn't 'ki-yah!' to shout down an ant.

Ukyo glanced at Akane with concern. She had teased Akane about her voice earlier in the morning and now felt incredibly guilty. Shampoo had also filled her in on the full story of what they had been doing the day before. Ukyo found the idea of someone 'infesting' Shampoo and her sisters with a demon so unsettling and downright _wrong_, that she was reevaluating some things about Barry. He wasn't Ranma... but maybe it wasn't his fault.

Barry quickly scribbled a note. He had an idea that might work to get Akane through the presentation. He had been monitoring her ki and had compared the signature of the enflamed tissue with her normal signature. He'd have to physically touch her throat to do it, but... As he began to pass the note, Miss Kamiko, already on edge from the animosity of the class, noticed and jumped in. "You there!" She hesitated a moment before remembering his name, "Ranma. What do you think you're doing?"

He winced then smiled half-heartedly at her. "Passing a note?" he suggested.

"Don't tell me that! You were passing a _note! _Oh." She seemed at a loss for a moment.

Kodachi was also frowning. Normally, the idea of Ranma passing a note to Akane would have caught her attention in a negative way, but _everything_ was overshadowed by the loss of Mrs. Morisato as their instructor. True, she wouldn't be _gone_, but Kodachi had completed Home Economics long ago. She would have almost no contact with the woman. She found that to be... less than satisfactory. Her victory over Happosai that morning was a mere distraction when compared to this disaster! She hoped her guest didn't mind some ranting. She had a feeling that even with the help of her friends, she would be hard pressed not to continue to rant for some time to come.

"Would you like to share the contents of that note with the class?" Ms. Kamiko demanded.

"Ms. Kamiko, I don't think they'll understand what it's about."

"I wasn't asking, Ranma." Her face was tense in response to the challenge to her authority.

"It's gonna be taken outa context," he warned. "You won't like the results."

"Ranma!"

"But…" He sighed, rose to his feet and opened the little piece of paper. "Akane," he read, "Find some reason ta meet me in the hall. I can make you feel much better." As he finished reading, there was silence throughout the room. Akane's eyes were huge as her hand went to her throat — that had sounded — then she understood. Ukyo couldn't help herself. She started to bray in that very boyish laugh of hers as she realized what was intended and understood how it was being taken.

Shampoo reached out and snagged Kodachi before she could get into trouble. "Relax!" she whispered furiously. "Don't let hard-ass teacher get shorts in bind! Akane's throat sore from talking all yesterday. Ranma want do healing thing!" Of course, she meant '_Barry_ want do healing thing', but Kodachi wasn't in 'the know' yet, if ever.

Barry decided, as the rest of the class surrounded him over Ms. Kamiko's objections, that Shampoo needn't have bothered. Class was effectively over.

* * *

At the end of school, Barry gathered the martial arts gang together to explain what was happening. He frowned at Kodachi's absence and nodded to Hiroshi and Daisuke, who stood nervously to one side. 

"First of all," Barry said, "we need to get our ducks all in a row."

"Ducks?" They all blinked.

"You talk about Mousse, again?" Shampoo asked.

Barry smacked his head. "Sorry. No, I mean we have to look at what happened today and understand it."

"What's to understand?" snorted Ukyo. "That blond bimbo just stole Mrs. Morisato's job."

"That 'blond bimbo' is Mrs. Morisato's older _sister_, Ucchan," Barry countered. "Didn't anyone listen to Mrs. Morisato? She wasn't happy with Fruitcake's decision, either."

"That's right!" Hiroshi snapped his fingers. "Mrs. Morisato said that, didn't she?" He whistled and grinned. "You should've seen the photo of Ms. Kamiko, Biker Babewas flashing around, too!" he continued with a smirk. He ducked at as several feminine frowns were directed his way.

"Did 'Biker Babe' say who she was?" asked Barry.

"No," commented Daisuke, "and I've never seen her before." His eyes widened in memory and a hand twitched toward his nose. "Then Happosai stole her 'call me Mistress' suit and _wow_!" Ukyo, Shampoo and Akane all twitched, sending him to join Hiroshi in a defensive crouch to avoid possible violence. Hiroshi mumbled something about impressive assets and cringed, as the Fem-squad looked his way again.

"You girls are really giving the rest of your gender a violent reputation," Barry chided in disgust. He ignored the glares that came hisway. "Face it! Teenage boys are always gonna react to nude female bodies. It's not like they helped the freak take her stuff!"

"They no look away, either! Shampoo believe in negative reinforcement!"

"Why? Never worked on Mousse, sugar."

"Ukyo!" Akane blushed.

"What are we going to do about that Kamiko woman?" asked Kodachi, slinking down the hall to join them. Barry re-explained that Urudu Kamiko had not stabbed her sister in the back. Kodachi fumed over her father's actions. "It is unfortunate that my father no longer resides at home! I would make him pay..."

"C'mon, Dachi," Barry said, touching her shoulder lightly to get her attention, "Ya can't live for revenge. It ain't good fer ya."

Kodachi deflated from her rage, and looked contrite. It was such a good act that Barry had to laugh. She was no more ready to give over retaliation against her father, than he was to give up trying to get Ranma back in his own body. She looked at him darkly, saw the knowing smile, noticed that no one else in their group had been fooled and contrived to look sorrowful. "(Sigh!) I am so misunderstood!" She even managed a tear.

"Are you coming to Nekohanten, today?" asked Shampoo, hiding her snicker. "You not visit lately. Is something wrong?"

Kodachi recovered nicely. "Just a little project of mine, Shampoo!" she said brightly. She glanced sidewise at Barry. "Something to help my friends." She smiled then and almost skipped away, leaving some very unsettled people behind her.

"I wonder what she's up to?" asked Akane. Her throat was much better. The entire history class had been hostile observers during Barry's ki-healing, an unnecessary and somewhat ridiculous set of chaperones. Kamiko-sensei's eyebrows had risen as Barry soothed Akane's swollen vocal cords. Obviously, she was as advanced in her way as her sisters. "I mean Kodachi is nicer these days, but I'm not sure I want involved in her attempts to help me."

"No different from your cooking, Akane," Shampoo grinned. The other girl smoldered for a second then let loose an elbow. Soon, they were sparring with lightning moves, totally ignored by everyone except Hiroshi and Daisuke.

"Pity about Gos's camera," Barry commented, changing the subject.

"I don't know," Hiroshi said, carefully placing Barry between him and the two sparring girls, "if he can recover the film, it'll be worth it."

"Oh?"

"You really had to have been there."

Barry's 'date' came up at that point and brightly announced her presence. Asa Ikkitomu was a slender girl with a hairstyle similar to Akane's, but parted on the side. The look she gave him made him sigh. Either she hadn't heard the Happosai bluff or didn't believe it. He glanced at the others, looked skyward and solicitously relieved the girl of her books. "So, where do we go from here?" he asked her, resigned to an afternoon of teenage boy-traps.

* * *

In the Furinkan school newspaper's darkroom, a lanky form ran large glossy prints through the developing fluid. After a moment, images began to appear. He twitched as he finished, his forehead sweating. He paid far more attention to the woman's face than to her attributes. He examined the crimson marks on her forehead with a magnifying glass and shuddered. He really needed to talk with someone. Maybe the Kamiko woman; she was the one in the photo this creature had displayed. But her temper! Wait! What had Mrs. Morisato said? Yes! Ms. Kamiko was Mrs. Morisato's _sister_! He could talk to Mrs. Morisato! 

He looked at the two photos he developed so far and gulped. You just didn't show this kind of picture to a lady like Mrs. Morisato. It wasn't proper! Maybe Ranma could talk to her? Ranma was ridiculously brave. He'd just leave these to dry, and go find the martial artist. Ranma worked at Ucchan's around dinnertime. Gosunkugi could catch up with him there. Rats! He couldn't leave the photos here. Sayuri had a key to the room as well and would throw them out as trash, regardless of their value. Finally, he decided to bring them along with him, after they had time to dry.

Kodachi entered the Kuno mansion and almost bounced off her brother. Surprised she looked up and noticed the frown on his face. "What is wrong, Tachi?"

"This... guest of yours," he cut right to the chase. "What do you know of her, Kodachi?"

Kodachi fanned herself and considered. Was something wrong? "To tell the truth, brother, dear, I met Mara just this morning when Happosai caused her some distress and I intervened."

Tatewaki Kuno looked over his shoulder and frowned again. "Perhaps that is what I felt."

Kodachi smiled and patted him on the shoulder. It was nice that she could like her brother again. She had to admit he _had_ improved under Dr. Hashibara's guidance and Ranma's subtler workings. "Of course, Tachi. If you need me, I'll be showing my guest around the property. Are the traps all disarmed?"

"For some time, now. Sasuke would know."

Kodachi was aware as well of the changes Ranma had made in her. At first she welcomed them because it suggested Ranma had interest in her. Later, as her perceptions became more flexible, she noted that she no longer felt the driving need to _possess_ Ranma. She had briefly considered objecting to the changes, but realized other people approved of the new Kodachi. Her improved self-image allowed her to agree not to cheat at the martial arts tournament and to accept Ranma's dealing with her own ambush and elimination. Well, two could play the modification game. She had plans that, if they worked out, would be a _wonderful_ surprise for them all. She called for Sasuke and, on his entrance, asked where her guest was.

"Marller Ichioni resides in the study, Mistress Kodachi," he said with a measure of grovel. Even though Kodachi and Tatewaki were much less demanding of late, the instilled reactions were still active. "Shall I provide more refreshments?"

"Please, Sasuke," Kodachi reflected on that phrase. Sasuke had received more 'please' and 'thank you' this past six weeks than in the prior six years! She glided in to find Marller reposing on a couch with a drink in hand. The woman had changed her clothes to something less... domineering. She would have to ask Sasuke where it had come from. She rather liked its style. "Good afternoon," she said, pleasantly. "I hope you have recovered from your ordeal."

The blond woman looked up from a text on organic poisons and smiled in a way that made Kodachi faintly uncomfortable. "I'm quite recovered, Ms. Kuno." She patted the volume she held. "You have an interesting library."

"Thank you," Kodachi said, recovering somewhat. "Most would find it a bit single minded, but as I am an organic chemist, it suits my needs."

"Really?" Marller looked Kodachi over carefully. She could see the weird twisting of the girl's aura, as well as the subtle changes that had occurred recently. She assessed Kodachi as a borderline psychotic who could be easily pushed over the edge once more. But unplanned destruction, no matter how satisfying, wasn't her scene. She at least needed to find who was healing this girl and her brother and damage that healing presence as much as possible, preferably in a way that brought a sense of anger and betrayal to them all. Then let them suffer and spread the poison to the people around them. Oh, yes! Life was good! To Marller, death was not in the cards. Death was too easy, too certain, too… _merciful_; and Marller, Demon First Class, was anything but merciful. "I have interests in that line myself. It's always so exhilarating to discover new reactions to compounds and determine the fine edge between use and abuse."

Kodachi's eyes glowed in response. "Indeed! Until recently, I've been concentrating my efforts on derivations of black roses. I have a greenhouse full of the only authentic Kuno Kurobara in the world. They have great potential as muscle relaxants and anesthetics, and the roots can derive an aphrodisiac that can arouse a stick!" She fanned herself and blushed. "Not that _I_ need any such item, but knowledge is power."

Marller found herself smiling. "I can agree with you fully." Meanwhile she was thinking, 'Black roses? Where have I heard something about black roses?' She'd have to call her contacts soon, and either pass this delicious mess to someone else, or delay her hunt for the goddesses. She was having more and more trouble in reaching them at the Temple, and she didn't know where they went when away from home. Maybe she needed a vacation. This Kodachi chick and whoever was trying to heal her might be a nice little project to relax over. Hmmm… "You don't happen to be developing anything right now that you could show me?" As Marller spoke, she carefully put out a wave of trust to deceive Kodachi into letting down her defenses.

"Oh, I do have a project," Kodachi smiled, "but it's a secret. When I'm finished…" Kodachi's laugh took on some of its old lunacy and she clapped a hand across her mouth, embarrassed. She didn't notice the flash of anger in Marller's eyes. It was quickly hidden. The presence of a demon was calculated to fog human senses. Kodachi recovered quickly and made light conversation till Sasuke came in with a tray of food.

"Will that be all, Mistress?" he said formally.

"Yes, Sasuke, thank you," Kodachi said gracefully. "Oh, dear," she said, noticing something. "Is that a bruise? How did that happen?" Sasuke flushed. All too recently, she would never have noticed.

"I took the liberty of moving Happosai into the greenhouse, Mistress. Master Kuno objected to his presence outside the dining room and was concerned about stains on the carpet."

"How considerate! Thank you again, dear servant."

Marller smiled. Actually, _she_ had jogged Sasuke to take that action, among others. It had been amusing to subvert the little ninja. She wasn't through tormenting Happosai yet, and Kodachi had a pet that also lived in the garden, a pet with certain… _appetites_.

* * *

Mr. Greenturtle, or Midorigame, was not a turtle. He also wasn't the alligator that most of the local people thought he was. He was a four and a half meter long saltwater crocodile. He crawled up on the bank of his pond and considered the weakly struggling thing hanging from the rafters. Slowly, the big reptile made its way below where Happosai hung. It watched the diminutive martial artist. It didn't much cared for the smell the singed martial artist exuded, but the twitching he did, in attempting to escape was very interesting.

Happosai became aware of the threat as the big animal raised its front off the ground and lunged. "_Eeek_!" Happosai twisted and dodged the first attack. His eyes bulged as he saw those jaws lining up for another go at him. With a throaty grunt, it did its best to defy gravity again and jaws suddenly rose at the inverted pervert like they were rocket-propelled. "_Ahhhhhhhhhh_!" screeched Happosai. The snap and grunt so close to his ears really got the blood going. "Uhhh!" He felt suddenly compressed and thrashed, thinking the monster had gotten him after all.

Midorigame hung from the grip his toothy jaws had acquired in the silken bonds of his target. Slowly he thrashed, using his ton of weight to jerk at the bundle, coincidentally putting tremendous pressure on Happosai as his actions tightened the ribbons. The croc hadn't had this much entertainment since the last time Ranma had come to visit. It went into a death roll, and it became a question of which would give first, the rope or the ceiling.

The ceiling gave way, and wood and glass crashed down on the startled reptile, which released its grip and retreated to its pool. Happosai managed to cut his bonds on the broken glass, staggered over to a hose and guzzled some cold water. Revived, he quickly escaped through the hole in the roof before anyone could investigate. "I'll be remember this, Kodachi Kuno!" he snarled to himself. "You'll regret interfering with me!"

Kodachi, Sasuke, Tatewaki and Marller arrived to survey the damage almost before the dust settled.

"Oh, dear," Sasuke whined. "It seems Happosai has escaped."

"Perhaps we had a more fortunate ending?" suggested Kodachi, pointing to the strip of her ribbon leading to the pool. "Though I will worry about Midorigame getting indigestion."

"Unfortunately not, dear sister," Tatewaki pointed to the hose. "That monster of yours is not the end fated for Happosai. Look! The hose has been turned on, but there is as yet, little water about."

"The little freak must have had an interesting time," smirked Marller. They looked at her questioningly and she pointed to the gouges in the floor. "I think your croc had a go at him. Must have been interesting being tied up that way and having those jaws snap at you." She gloated, missing Tatewaki's shudder. He personally didn't care much for his sister's pet.

"This is most annoying!" Kodachi stamped a foot. "And the day began so fortuitously!" She turned to her brother. "We must do something about Father, Tatewaki! He tried to fire that lovely instructor we have spoken of!"

"Mrs. Morisato?" Tatewaki asked.

'Morisato?' thought Marller, startled. As Kodachi ranted at her brother, a small evil gleam grew in the demon's eyes.

"Apparently, her sister had also been molested by Happosai! Something about her impressed that maniac we call our sire and he hired her on the spot! Then, he tried to fire Mrs. Morisato, but when Shampoo objected, he was forced to backpedal or face further pain!"

"Perhaps we can interest Father in politics," suggested Tatewaki. "With the way government is run, his peculiarities will hardly be noted and he will have status without much power. Hmmm." The kendoist rubbed his chin. "I will look into this." Marller wondered how she could drag out more information. She decided to wait. All things came to those who did, and if she got impatient, she could torture the information out of them.

"It is fortunate that you are much recovered, brother dear."

"Why is that?"

"Mrs. Morisato's sister is even worse than the Hinako creature in her adult form. Worse than Ranma in his female form, in fact." Kodachi wasn't above teasing her brother over his inability to deal rationally with her beloved's duality.

'Adult form? Female form?' the demon pondered, 'Several someones were shape-shifters?' "Excuse me," she interrupted. It galled her to be polite, but necessity demanded. "Alternate forms… septuagenarian super-perverts, insane parents... What is going on around here?" She cast a spell that would make her targets more amenable to explanations.

Kodachi blinked and shook her head faintly. She returned her gaze to the blonde's eyes. "How much time do you have?" she asked.

* * *

Barry wove between the tables, flinched away from a pinch and served the okonomiyaki with graceful moves. Her assailant suddenly found himself staring at an older, angrier version of the girl. This vision leaned across the counter and the young man suddenly had visions of himself marked in chalk like a side of beef. Barry rescued him on the way back. "Mom, you don't hafta do that. Besides, Tetsuo knows what I am. He only did it to annoy me, not because he hopes ta get anything out of it." 

Nodoka gave the young man a last glare and froze as Barry poked the young man in the shoulder of the arm he pinched with. The arm went limp, numbed to the shoulder from a tsubo point. "Ack! Ranma!" he whinnied.

"I warned ya about doin' that, Tetsuo," Barry grinned. "I guess you'll hafta eat your 'yaki with the other hand." She fielded a tossed okonomiyaki from Ukyo and guided it before the young man. "Here ya go!"

"Ranma, please," whined Tetsuo, "I'm really clumsy with my left."

Barry hit another point and the boy yelped as feeling flooded back. "When ya gonna learn not ta pinch the girls?" she asked as he rubbed the tingles out of his arm. "They don't like it."

"But you're not a girl!"

"Since when do _guys_ like it, Tetsuo?" asked Barry. The bell at the door tinkled. Barry turned. "Hey, Gos!" The tall lanky boy stopped dead as he saw her. He half-turned to leave, but Barry grabbed him by the arm and guided him to a table.

"I...I...I... forgot you... waitressed," Gosunkugi stuttered.

"Hey! You know it's me! So, what'll it be?"

"Ummm... a small special with extra nori?"

"Gos special, extra nori!" Barry retreated and Gosunkugi slumped, sweating. He carefully laid the envelope with the pictures on the table and wiped his hands nervously. Damn! He had forgotten that Ranma was in girl-form when at Ucchan's and he just couldn't show hentai pictures to a _girl! _Could he? While he dithered, his 'yaki cooked. He received it hot off the grill and dug in, his trepidation temporarily forgotten in Ukyo's cooking. The bell chimed again. Gosunkugi jumped as a hand fell on his shoulder.

"Gos-man!"

"Hey, Hikaru!"

He looked up, cursing his timidity, to see Hiroshi and Daisuke. "Uh, hi, guys," he said with little enthusiasm. He still had half his 'yaki and he poked at it. They joined him and grinned at Barry when she came over to take their orders.

"I wanna try the chicken teriyaki-yaki," Hiroshi said.

"Make mine pork," chimed in Daisuke. As Barry turned away, he reached out to pinch.

"Dai?" The redhead's voice stopped his movement. "Do you wanna try eatin' a pork 'yaki with no hands?" Dai withdrew his hand. "Good boy!"

"So did the pictures come out?" Daisuke asked, turning to a safer subject.

"Uh, ummm..." Gosunkugi replied intelligently. His finger jittered on the manila envelope beside his place. Hiroshi snatched it and flipped open the top.

Hiroshi and Daisuke stared... then threw back their heads and howled in victory. "_Arrrrooooou_!

(CLANG!) Ukyo stood close beside them, her mega-spat ready for further action. "Don't disturb the other customers!" she snarled at them.

"Sorry, Ukyo," Daisuke said rubbing his head.

"Yeah. Sorry," added Hiroshi, hiding the photographs under the table. They were well aware she struck lightly. They had seen Ranma launched the length of the block with a blow of the thing.

"If that's one of your crummy magazines," Ukyo added, slinging her weapon over her back, "put it away! I don't put up with smut in my place!"

"Yes, ma'am!" they chorused.

"Ummm... Kuonji-san?" asked Gosunkugi. "Why did you hit _me?"_

"Huh?" Ukyo looked startled. "I'm sorry! I didn't see you there, uh..." Ukyo looked blank for a moment. "Hikaru, right?"

Gosunkugi groaned and laid his sore head on the table. The marks on the head of the woman in the photograph had special significance to one versed in the dark arts. He, being only imperfectly versed in those arts, recognized them merely as the marks of a demon. It was looking, if the other two boys were correct in their identification, for Mrs. Morisato's sister. That possibly meant danger to Mrs. Morisato, as well. He recognized the need to do something. Ranma was an obvious choice. He had run-ins with strange things all the time!

Moments after Ukyo returned to her grill, Barry was back with the other okonomiyaki. "Here ya go!"

"Mmmmm!" Hiroshi allowed himself to savor the offering. "Ith goodh!"

"Hiroshi, I need to," Gos began as Ranma turned and bounced away to new customers, "talk to Ranma."

"You still got the negatives for those?" asked Daisuke of Gosunkugi.

"Uh, yeah." Gos cleared his throat and tried to get back to his point. "We have to..." Hiroshi interrupted this time. Gos frowned. Why wouldn't people pay attention to him?

"Looks like you'll get your new camera, Gos," Hiroshi said swallowing and slicing another piece of his dinner. "These things will _sell!_"

"Yeah! Maybe a really good camera!" Daisuke added punching him lightly in the arm.

The skinny young man flinched and wrung his hands. No one would let him get a word in! Then, the other boy's words sank in. "You really think so?"

"We called Nabiki..."

"If it's as good as we remember," Daisuke enthused. "Nabiki promised us distribution throughout a network of thirty campuses!"

"She sure knows how to find and use a market!" admitted Hiroshi. "Our profits will be higher if we have wider distribution. Even if our cut is smaller than if we try to market it ourselves."

"Hmmm," murmured three acquisitive young men.

"But..." whined Gosunkugi, remembering his concerns.

"Yeah! He's right," grumbled Hiroshi, misunderstanding him. "We've got to cut Happosai out of the picture or nobody will buy it. No one wants him in their fantasy!"

Gosunkugi laid his head down on the table again. He wondered what Ranma would do if no one ever listened to _him_. It was so frustrating! Barry, unaware of the cosmic irony playing only meters from her, took an order.

* * *

Finally, closing time rolled around. Gosunkugi still sat at his place, minus the manila envelope Hiroshi and Daisuke had taken with them. They would be absent from school tomorrow to let Nabiki evaluate the merchandise.

"It's time to close, young man," a melodious voice said. Gosunkugi looked up from his musings. Nodoka Saotome had just been reaching out to touch his shoulder when he noticed her. He looked at her blankly and looked around. No one else was there. "Are you all right?" When he sighed in a defeated manner, she added, "If you're looking for my son, he's at the Tendo dojo by now."

Gos slumped and sighed. "I guess I'll just have to catch up with him tomorrow."

"Is it important?" asked Nodoka. "Should I tell him when he gets home?"

Gosunkugi looked surprised. "I thought he was staying at Akane's."

"As a dutiful son, he agreed to spend some time with his mother," Nodoka answered cryptically. She cleaned off the table and patted Gosunkugi on the shoulder. "I'll let him know you're looking for him."

"Ummm... okay..."

* * *

Barry trudged onto the Furinkan grounds, rubbing some new bruises. Genma received a talking to from Nodoka about the early morning attacks and had taken it entirely the wrong way. He only listened to the part about the 'predictability' of his assaults, and reset the alarm and strung wire across the stairs to the attic bedroom. Ranma's mom tried to tell him something, but Barry was in too much of a rush to get the message. He caught up with Akane at the school gates. 

Ryoga was waiting for them, looking rather more distracted than normal. Akari, who guided him here, was not much better. Actually, Akari had been looking distracted and unhappy for a while now. She... moped. He hoped Ryoga hadn't done something stupid. Of course, he might not even be aware of the change in her personality. Moping was his normal pastime.

Shampoo, Kodachi and Ukyo weren't far away, discussing homework from the sound of it and obviously waiting for the two of them to arrive. Beside them, standing with a saucy smile on her face, was Asa. It turned out that she had been one of Nabiki's lieutenants when the latter was running the Furinkan information and gambling racket.

While Asa had _officially_ left that game behind, she still had her contacts and would have been perfectly happy if Ranma _had_ taken advantage of her. She didn't believe the Happosai story at all and was conveniently between boyfriends. They visited an ice cream parlor. Afterwards, Barry escorted her home. Fortunately, she had not arranged for her parents to be elsewhere. They, for their part, were aware of Ranma's peculiarities, his fiancée situation and were understandably relieved when he made it clear he was not seeking further conquests. They were impressed by his quiet if blunt approach, and they all had had an interesting half-hour of conversation before he had to leave for Ucchan's.

Barry relieved Asa of her books again and turned an ear toward the four-way conversation that arose between Akane, Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi. "Why didn't you come to practice last night, Shampoo?" inquired Akane. Shampoo looked anywhere but at her. "Come on! I thought you wanted to start expanding on your new abilities?" continued the shorthaired girl irritably. The Amazon looked like she was in pain.

"I feel it wrong," she huffed, distressed. "Great-grandmother say truce hold till..." She looked sidewise at Kodachi, who blinked at her then brought out a compact to see if her makeup had a problem. Shampoo finally looked at Akane directly. "But after that, violent girl become obstacle again. Shampoo not think about that before."

Akane blinked then looked sad. "Oh, Shampoo, isn't there any other way?"

Shampoo sighed, looked up at the clock then pointed to one of the trees. "Come. We talk over there."

Barry started to follow, but Asa stepped in front of him. "Akane can tell you later, Ranma," she crooned. "You're mine till lunchtime."

Barry glared, then remembered Ryoga. "Hey! Bandana-boy!" Ryoga stared into space, his lips moving soundlessly. "Ryoga!"

The lost-boy jerked and turned with a frown. "What?"

Barry pointed to where Akane, Shampoo and company sat beneath the tree. "Could ya please go over there and find out what's goin' on?" He couched his request carefully to try to get around Ryoga's abrasive tendencies.

"Why?"

"Shampoo is talking about 'obstacles'," Barry said grimly.

"What!" Ryoga's eyes widened then he frowned. "After what you guys did?"

"Cool it, Ryoga!" growled Barry. "Don't say anything. Just listen and tell me what went on. Keep cool!" Barry allowed himself to be dragged off by Asa.

Ryoga growled to himself and started toward the tree. 'Ranma would _never_ let a threat to Akane go unchallenged! I'll just go over there...' He stopped dead. 'Obviously,' Ryoga thought, 'I am out of the schoolyard.' Slowly he turned around, pivoting on his heel. Okay... There was a wall just ahead of him... Go over to the wall... Jump up and look in. He was relieved to see the Furinkan grounds. ' Whew!' He looked around, spotted the girls under the tree and trotted over. The girls rose as he approached. He overheard just one comment from a distraught Akane before they all turned and walked away together, Kodachi and Ukyo acting in some strange way as an honor guard for the other two.

Akane had said, "I love you, Shampoo!"

Ryoga stopped appalled. What the hell was going on?

* * *

Gosunkugi dithered around the main entrance of the school. The girls were over by the tree. Where was Ranma? He had come early and made off with two copies of the prints Hiroshi and Daisuke were preparing to make available to certain hormonally overactive males among their classmates. He jumped when he noticed the girls approaching, Ryoga trailing behind. His eyes widened at the presence of so many pretty girls, especially Akane. He glanced nervously around them, looking for Ranma. 

Akane noticed Gosunkugi and his distress. She stopped and smiled sadly at him. "What's wrong, Hikaru?"

Gosunkugi nearly passed out. He stammered, gathered himself at the hint of giggles from the other girls and tried again. "A-a-akane! I n-need to talk (gulp!) to R-ranma." His hands threatened to tear the manila envelope into pieces.

"Is that something you need to give him?" she asked softly.

Gosunkugi felt as if his brain were melting. He nodded wordlessly, and didn't even notice when she took the envelope out of his hands. "I... uh... I need..."

"I'll make sure he gets it." She smiled and he burned out completely. Akane tucked the envelope in with her homework and moved on to class. Gosunkugi, zoned out, stood there staring at the spot she vacated.

* * *

Barry balanced four pencils point down on the tips of his fingers. As he gained confidence in his control, he began to juggle them, tip to tip, testing the reflexes Ranma had left him. He did this for two reasons. First, he wanted to make certain Ranma didn't suffer any loss of ability in his absence. Second, it was fun. He enjoyed gymnastics for the same reason. He doubted he could ever duplicate the control Ranma had over his body. The martial arts part frankly scared him, but there was no choice. It was what Ranma was. He waved absently to Akane and the others as they came in. Then he began to flip more pencils into the mix. Then began involving both hands. The four girls stopped and looked at one another. 

"Hey, baka," Ukyo said dryly. "Practicing for the circus?"

"Or are you just showing off?" Akane added archly, "Again."

He grinned at them. "Me? Showing off?"

(Smack!) The clatter of pencils was loud on the floor.

"Baka!" murmured four voices in chorus.

Miss Hinako marched in, her arms full of papers and books. She didn't see the pencils scattered across the floor, and no one noticed her as she skipped her normal cheery "Good morning!" They _did_ hear her reaction to discovering the pencils there.

"_Whoop_!" exclaimed Hinako, with feeling. "_Ahhhhhhhhhh_!" she decided, milliseconds later, better described the situation. She flailed expecting a nasty tailbone-jarring impact...

...which never came. She unclenched her eyelids and looked up at Kodachi and Shampoo, who bracketed her on either side, then at Akane and Ukyo who were just finishing retrieving her notes and books out of mid-air. Her papers and books were deposited neatly on the desk and she was gently returned to her feet. As she recovered her equilibrium, she noticed Ranma just beyond, his face white as a sheet. She took a couple of deep breaths and found him head inclined before her.

"Miss Hinako, the pencils were my fault. I apologize."

The swift admission of fault surprised her, but also helped her regain her humor. "Juggling again, Mr. Saotome?" He'd been warned in the past about such hi-jinks.

"Yes, ma'am," he admitted, head still low.

"There was no harm done, but there might have been, if it weren't for these girls," she reprimanded him. "Bucket duty," she added.

"Yes, ma'am."

Halfway through roll call, Gosunkugi slunk down the hall clenching his bookbag. He approached the room to see a pigtailed martial artist standing in the hallway, buckets in hand. He debated whether to talk with him.

"Hi, Gos!"

Oh? Oh, well. He nodded nervously to Ranma. "Did A-a-akane give you the envelope?" he asked.

"What envelope?"

Gosunkugi sighed and shifted. "The one with the pictures of the naked woman who's a demon."

"What?" Barry wasn't certain he had heard the boy right. "What demon?"

"The one that Happosai molested."

"Happosai molested a demon? I wouldn't put it past him, ya understand, but..." Barry thought furiously. "What does this have to do with envelopes, Akane and naked women?" Even as he said it, Hiroshi and Daisuke came to mind, and he shuddered. "Don't tell me Hi and Dai are involved in this?"

"O-o-okay, I won't tell you."

They stared silently at one another for several moments.

"Uh, let's try this again," Barry began. "You gave Akane an envelope."

"Yes."

"It has a picture of either a naked woman or a demon in it?"

"Both, actually," Gos admitted.

Barry looked at him aghast. Hiroshi, Daisuke, a picture of a demon _and_ a naked woman? He had been around those two long enough to get a glimpse of a sample of 'tentacle sex' in one of their rags... and a sample of this was in an envelope in Akane's hands! He exhaled a long tense breath. It didn't help. "Hikaru, old boy. Do your parents have a life insurance policy on you?"

"I...I think so. Why?"

"At least somebody'll get somethin' outa this," Barry muttered. Gosunkugi went white.

"Hikaru!"

"Ahhh!"

"_Aiiee_!" (SPLOSH! CLANG! clatter!)

Miss Hinako looked with disfavor at the unconscious Gosunkugi and the 'girled' martial artist. "Is there something you're not telling me, Ranma?" she asked suspiciously.

"Ummm... There could be," Barry conceded. She glanced past the diminutive teacher into the classroom.

"Ranma!" Hinako was not amused. Ranma was known to consider building-destroying violence as inconsequential, and the redhead was obviously worried.

In the classroom, Akane heard Hinako yell at Gosunkugi. That reminded her of the envelope, and she slid it out of her books and looked at its innocuous blank surface. She wondered what Gosunkugi wanted to give Barry and why he had asked her to deliver it. Of course, he hadn't; but she ignored that for the moment. She started to feel along the flap of the envelope, but it was gummed shut. She missed the look of horror that crossed Barry's face in the hall.

Hinako didn't. She glanced in, but Akane had put the envelope down and was getting out her book in preparation for class. Everything seemed perfectly normal. The hair on the back of her neck prickled. "Ranma, if you don't tell me what's wrong and _anything_ happens..."

"I might be able to head this off if you let me go in and talk to Akane _right now,_ before she does something and gets mad at me."

"Does something?" asked Hinako. She got out a fifty-yen coin. "Like what?" she inquired fixing him with a steely glare.

Akane put her book down and glanced out the door where Hinako was discussing something with Barry. She frowned. Why was Barry looking so... It was almost like watching Ranma on a really bad day — one of hers, that is. She picked up the envelope. She looked at Barry, who froze, eyes round and mouth open. She stopped, put the envelope down and watched the terror recede. She picked it up... She put it down... This could get interesting, she decided. Had it been Ranma, she would have been annoyed, but without the personal involvement, watching Barry react to this simple action was... fun. She looked up as Hinako came back into the room after telling Barry to clean up the mess and wake Gosunkugi and make sure he got a bucket.

"Miss Tendo," the tiny ki-vampire fixed her star student with a dangerous look, "If you have any plans to damage Ranma for something he may be involved in, please do it after school and off school grounds."

"Ummm... If that's all right with you?"

"Oh, it's_ more _than all right with me!" stated Hinako as she turned away. "What you two choose to do on your own time is your own affair." She hunted through her bag and pulled out some hard candy. "But you catch more bees with honey than vinegar," she mumbled around the sweet. "Remember that." As Akane gaped at her, Hinako called class to order and had them open their books.

* * *

"All right, _Ranma_!" Akane practically threw the envelope at him after English. "What's. In. The. Envelope?" She turned and glared back at Gosunkugi who promptly fainted again.

Barry fingered the envelope nervously, as other students crowded around. He scowled at them to gain some room then whispered. "To be honest, I'm not sure, Akane. Gos mentioned something about demons, Happosai and naked women. (gulp!)" He paused as her aura flickered.

"You mean I was being used to...to courier hentai pictures for you?" she screeched.

"Bravo, Akane! Just spit it out in the open why don't you?" growled Barry, irritated. "Can you imagine Gos endangering your opinion of him by doing something that stupid?" Akane looked back at the sprawled boy and looked doubtful. "Akane, calm down. You know who I am. Why would I do something like that?" Barry caught her attention again. He watched her sigh and deflate further. "Let's get poor Gos back on his feet and try to get the real story behind whatever is in here." They got up and walked back to the third party of the action. "Hmmm. Happosai... molesting demons..."

"What?" Akane frowned again. "Is this one of those..."

Barry grinned at her. "That's what I thought in the hall. But now, I'm not sure. These are photographs, if I understand him, and I don't think he'd stick around to get candid shots if something like that was really going on." He watched Akane's nose wrinkle in disgust. They each took an arm and heaved Gosunkugi back into his chair. Slowly, he came around.

"Hi, Gos!" said Barry cheerfully. "I've won us a reprieve. Now let's go over that again. Akane's promised that I'll take all the lumps for this little episode."

Gosunkugi looked from one to the other and swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing like it was spring-activated. Letting loose a shaky sigh, he began…


	47. A Perfectly Rotten Day

**Guest Ki: Chapter 46**

_**A Perfectly Rotten Day**_

"Ummm… Ms. Kamiko?"

Urudu Kamiko was just seating herself at the desk when the Saotome boy walked up before her, flanked by that spooky looking boy and one of his fiancées, the Tendo girl. 'He's not particularly polite by Japanese standards,' she thought, 'but… _wowza_, he sure is cute!' She considered what Baradandya had told her the night before and was impressed. 'Mr. Four-Fiancées'…

Of course, this wasn't actually Mr. Four Fiancées, if she understood the situation correctly. She probed at Barry Barlowe and found he was tempted by the situation he was in, but so far had used his own code of honor and his feelings for his otherworldly wife to steer clear of the worst of it. While her sister had asked her to leave the man alone, she did not specifically say it would jeopardize their work here. And now, here he was, acting nervous. Maybe his resolve was cracking, after all. Well, if he wanted to play…

"What can I do for you, Ranma?" She smiled and leaned forward a little, teasing him with the opportunity to examine her excellent cleavage. He noticed, but fixed his eyes firmly on her face.

"About yesterday," he said, lips firm. He took a deep breath for control. "More happened than just Happosai."

Urudu frowned. More _had_ happened. She and her sister discussed some things that needed discussed and then encouraged Barry to forget about those topics. Could he have remembered, after all?

"Hiroshi, Daisuke and Gosunkugi were at the track, taking pictures and watching girls. A very striking woman was looking for you. She was showing a picture of you to them when Happosai stole her costume. Gos is a photographer and also something of an amateur sorcerer, or hougan or whatever they call it. He got a few snapshots of the woman while she was distracted. Gos tells me the marks on the woman's forehead mean something." He held out the envelope and waited until she glanced inside.

Her face tightened. She glanced up at him. "How many people have seen this?"

"Does the phrase 'teenage boys' have any meaning to you?" retorted Barry in an amused tone. Obviously it did, as she planted her face in her hand.

"Marller," Ms. Kamiko muttered. "Damn!" She stood up. "Class! Attention, please! Mr. Saotome and I will be back shortly. Please review the study note at the end of Chapter 10. Thank you." Grabbing Barry by the wrist with one hand and the envelope with the other, she strode out. He was a little surprised at the speed she could make.

"Ms. Kamiko?"

"What is it?" she snapped, obviously unsettled by the presence of the woman in the picture.

"You need to get to your sister fast?"

"Yes!"

"Hang on!" He scooped her up and leaped out the window.

"We're on the third floor!" There was no fear in her voice, more a tone of exasperation.

"Do tell!" He absorbed the impact and leaped forward, going Umisen-ken at the same time. Instead of cloth, the air's ki warped to conceal the bronze-skinned woman. Stealthed, they cruised around the corner of the building and up a set of back steps. He put her down and released the shielding technique as they came to the door of the classroom.

"My, aren't you full of surprises," she commented, straightening her clothes.

"Gos told me those are the marks of a demon," he said bluntly. "Ranma's dealt with onin before, but I have a hunch this could be more serious." He jerked his head toward the door just as it opened.

"Urudu, what's wrong?" Mrs. Morisato stood in the doorway, slightly alarmed by the sudden appearance of her sister.

"Marller!" spat Ms. Kamiko. "She's in the area. Ranma here knows what she is. We need to talk." She grabbed her sister by the arm and looked around for an empty room or office. Barry pointed to one down the hall.

"Oh, dear," his former history teacher sighed as they locked the door. At first, Barry thought the other woman was concerned about the dangers Marller represented. Her next words left him flabbergasted. "She has no idea what it's like around here, Urudu! She could get hurt!"

"Excuse me?" Barry said, for the second time in thirty-six hours. "_She_ could get hurt? Isn't there some concern about whether she might hurt someone?"

"Of course there is," Mrs. Morisato said. "But… I guess the only way to explain Marller to you is to compare her to Mousse or Ryoga." She raised her shoulders in a doubtful shrug. "But that's not fair to Ryoga and Mousse because, while they sometimes hurt bystanders, they are not trying to hurt them."

"Ahhh… Then how is Marller like Mousse or Ryo-! Is she merely possessed? Kasumi was possessed by an onin once. We had a heck of a time with it." He looked at their faces. "Oh, boy! That isn't the case here, is it?"

"It's more like seeing an old friend do things you wish they wouldn't," Mrs. Morisato admitted. "I've known her for a long time."

Barry went still and looked from one to the other of the women. Something clicked. A whisper of an almost forgotten conversation niggled at him. He opened his mouth to say something then shut it to edit and refine just what it was he wanted to say. Finally, he croaked out, "I take it that you were not named _after_ the three goddesses?"

"Well…" began Ms. Kamiko.

Mrs. Morisato cut her off. "Aren't you in enough trouble?" she asked. The platinum blonde gaped like a fish while her sister turned to Barry. "That's correct, Barry-san."

"You three are the one and only originals?"

"That's correct."

The _goddess_, Urd, snapped her jaw shut and shook her head. Barry looked from one to the other a frown on his face. It was not a hostile frown, more of a troubled one. Finally, Urd couldn't stand the suspense and muttered, "So _who's_ in trouble, now?"

"I won't tell anyone else, Urd. At least not until I have better information about what's going on," Barry said finally.

"You mean you're not going to demand we send you back?" exclaimed Urd, her jaw dropping once more.

"You can thank your sister for that, Urd," Barry retorted. "I've developed a very high opinion of her. If she hasn't offered that possibility to me before, then I have to believe that either she can't, under orders, or can't, within her powers." He sighed pensively. "I can't believe she would allow someone to suffer unless it was necessary." He looked up and grinned wickedly. "Now if I had met you first…"

"Hey, now!" Urd said, a hurt expression appearing on her face. Then she realized she was being teased. She looked put out. But if she felt it was beneath her dignity, she was in for a rude surprise.

"…I would have known I was still dreaming. I mean, how many guys get dropped into a world where all the girls are chasing him?" Urd froze then eyed him with a 'just you wait, you…' expression. "Too bad it's a waste of time where I'm concerned. The one I want is back home." He grimaced and Beldandy shifted, sensitive to his pain. "Is there anything you're permitted to tell me since the cat is out of the bag?"

"Barry, even as… goddesses, we aren't necessarily aware of what's going on around us any more than humans are," Beldandy explained, choosing her words with care. "It was a great shock to us that you were running Ranma's body. When I found out you were here, I asked for the files on you, but there was only a case summary and personality profile. You are _way_ outside our jurisdiction, I'm afraid."

"I don't suppose you could tell me what was in that case summary?"

Beldandy blushed and looked down. "Please don't ask. I wish I could help you, but…"

"It's all right," Barry said. To his surprise, inside he felt that was true. "You have to follow the rules. I guess that it's my task and the task of Ranma's friends to get him back." He shook himself and refocused on Urd. "Now, what can we do about this demon of yours?"

"Nothing," Urd said immediately.

"You can defend yourselves, but try not to attack her directly," Beldandy amended. "She is very powerful…"

"Uhhh…" interrupted Urd, "…more about that, Bel, but later." She fingered the envelope.

"Even though your friends are all very good martial artists and for humans, exceptionally well trained in the use of ki," the other woman continued, "it would be too dangerous. Marller is _much_ more powerful than Nidhugg…"

'Damn right I am,' murmured a distant figure, its cape billowing dramatically about its shoulders. Blonde hair whipped in the wind. A strangely organic mechanism covered one eye and an ear. This device relayed audio and video to the figure from one of her modified spies. Marller snickered to herself. They had no idea she was around.

A tiny video camera flanked by two huge megaphone-like audio pickups replaced her spy's head, and a long whip-like antenna replaced the tail. Only its wings and claws remained to identify it. What had once been a bat had easily infiltrated the ductwork of the school and located the older goddess. True, it _had_ temporarily lost Urd and the boy when the latter had jumped out a window, but the bat's excellent hearing had allowed her to track them down again. Now, all their plans would be revealed.

Marller studied the boy in particular. Ranma Saotome seemed to be central to the action around here, so it would be a safe bet that he was the focus the goddesses needed for whatever their plans were. She wondered how much hell he could take in his life before he cracked. Few humans could go through what it was reported he had and remain on the right side of sanity. It didn't need to be something earthshaking… Just a series of small failures leading up to one devastating one! Yes!

"You're saying, 'leave the demon-hunting to us'?" Barry asked doubtfully.

"Pretty much," Urd nodded. "If she's just moved into the neighborhood, it should take a while for her to set up a base of operations." At Barry's raised eyebrow, she added, "Demons are loners but like to have a ready supply of minions, sub-routines they can send out to sow confusion while they work in the background."

"Subroutines? Never mind! Minions I can understand." Urd and Beldandy exchanged amused glances while Barry shook his head. "Anyway, can we detect these minions?"

"I doubt it," Beldandy said. "Ordinary mortals—!"

"Excuse me!" Barry looked annoyed. "Let's just step back a moment. Just who in my crowd here fits the definition of _ordinary_?"

"You have a point," admitted the middle Norn.

"Let's start with me in particular."

"Let me do the honors, Bel." Urd looked smug and gave Barry a hot look. "First, _Ranma_, you have to be able to see a creature's spiritual presence." Her look added, 'and I can show you a piece of heaven anytime you want.'

"Okay! Next?" stated Barry just as smugly, eyes narrowing.

"Look, junior, you have to be able to do the first one before we can go on!" Urd snapped, nettled. How dare he just brush her off! Even Keiichi at least reacted!

"Like I said, Granny, 'Next'?"

Marller giggled uncontrollably as Beldandy was forced to intervene in the squabble. Ranma and Urd were apparently two egomaniacs in search of a confrontation. Almost as good as Urd and Skuld! She'd have to remember the 'Granny' taunt the next time she had a face-to-face with the oldest Norn.

"Can I zap him?"

"Urd, no! Behave yourself! And you, young man! I'm very disappointed in you!"

Barry nodded, disgusted with himself. "Sorry, Beldandy… Urd. But could you tone down the bedroom eyes?" He put his hands on his hips and managed to look sultry. "I'm not gonna be unfaithful, but it's damn distracting!" Urd, miffed and unrepentant, glared daggers.

Marller left her spy on record, while she began to hunt for mayhem to commit.

Barry and Urd returned to class, Barry sworn to preserve the goddesses' secret. They did not want the local population aware of their identities. Barry's objections were quietly but firmly over-ruled. It would serve no purpose for anyone else to know. It would only add to the burden of their purpose here. People would expect them to do god-like things and slack off, even though their own abilities were more than sufficient for the task. They were not, except in the most indirect way, involved in Ranma's problem. If they did become involved, it would be when Kamisama specifically told them to. That would be true for anyone, regardless of the problem. But even if all _that_ were made clear to everyone, Beldandy explained, they would still be pestered by people on spiritual advice, love potions — Urd muttered sourly, here — luck charms and other totally unnecessary things.

The more Barry listened, the more he was reassured that his instincts were correct. The goddesses were more like the angels of his own Judeo-Christian background, messengers and guardians rather than independent competitors. This gave him both an odd sense of relief and a sense of unreality. Beldandy fit the traditional image perfectly. Urd gave him the willies. Skuld… Skuld was a normal teenage techno-geek, a pretty, very intelligent one, but otherwise, very normal. He wondered how much mythology he was going to have to deal with in the coming days.

As for Marller? He hoped they could steer clear of her, but doubted they'd be so lucky.

* * *

Barry's date that afternoon was Mio Saratalova. She looked at him speculatively and shuffled the set of large cards she used for her readings. He absently carried her books and chewed on his lip as they walked out of Furinkan with the gang. Akane finally had to elbow Barry's ribs before she could get his attention. "All right!" the dark-haired girl said with some of her old exasperation and suspicion, "out with it! You wouldn't let me see the picture, so it must have been pretty bad!"

"What picture?" asked Mio, who flicked one of her cards up, looked at it, then shuddered.

"The picture of a demon," Barry said darkly. "The whole game has just gotten a couple of degrees tougher." The girl nodded, gulped and went pale.

"Oh, _wonderful!_" Ukyo sarcastically commented. "Who do we have to thank for this? Whoa!" She suddenly made the connection. "Gosunkugi… Hiro and Dai. That strange woman Happosai was messing with…"

"You guessed it, Ukyo, " Barry nodded, "They got an honest to goodness picture of a demon. Demoness, I suppose," he sighed. "My… contacts told us specifically to avoid her. She's apparently several degrees beyond what Happi messes with. Instead of simple murder and mayhem, she's more involved in seduction, temptation and perversion." He scowled. "She is, however, quite capable of obliterating anyone who attacks her directly. Our two encounters, with lower level creatures like the gaki and that Nidhugg thing, show that ki attacks by themselves aren't very effective."

"But Ranma…" Akane glanced at Mio who reshuffled her cards and drew three. "You've beaten demons before!"

"My contacts inform me that _this_ gal is several degrees of power beyond what normally stalks the earth. The one feels we'd have no chance at all. The other sort of agrees with her, but seems worried we might figure out something that _could_ hurt her."

"Huh?" Shampoo, Ukyo and Ryoga boggled, but Akane seemed to understand.

"Remember? Kasumi's like that. It never mattered to her that everyone was out to kill or date Ranma, she always acts like she cares about them."

The others nodded in at least partial comprehension. Barry shook his head. If Baradandya could be believed, and he saw no reason why she shouldn't, Marller was a nice person trapped in a bad job, but determined to do it as well as inhumanly possible. Barry had no desire to try to convince them of _that!_ They made it all the way to the gate before a figure stepped out to confront them. Barry stiffened. It was blonde and male. Not the demon. It was familiar, though.

"Ahhh… _Bon jour, mademoiselles et monsignors_." His hand waved gracefully as he bowed. Shampoo, Ukyo and Mio blushed while Akane looked annoyed. She knew exactly who this individual was and he still gave her the creeps. Barry frowned.

"Watcha want, Chardin?"

Picolet Chardin straightened and fixed him with an irate glare. He bowed again, a tight almost insulting gesture. "It has to my attention come," he began, "that not only have you, your debt failed to discharge; but that you, Ranma Saotome, had the dishonor to pretend to be a prospective bride to the family Chardin!"

"I admit to disgust, but not dishonor," Barry replied evenly. "Or don't you remember Madame St. Paul turning her head to avoid seeing your 'lack of elegance' at my variation of the parlay?"

"Ranma," Shampoo said carefully, "who is man?"

"Forgive my manners," Barry said, duplicating Chardin's bow and waving to those unfamiliar with the Frenchman. "This is Mio Saratalova, a practitioner of the ancient art of Tarot Reading. This is Ukyo Kuonji, owner of Ucchan's and master of Okonomiyaki-ninjitsu. This is Xian Pu, a warrior of the Joketsuzoku and heir to Ku Lon, Matriarch of the Chinese Amazons as well as, locally, the Nekohanten. And this is Ryoga Hibiki, also a martial artist of considerable skill. My friends, this is Picolet Chardin, Master of Martial Arts Dining."

"Tolerably well done," sniffed Chardin. "Insulting though your bow was."

"You noticed? Good!" Barry grinned. "But I'm too busy right now to indulge in a rematch. If you want paid…" Barry considered. One hundred thousand yen would wipe out Ranma's present savings from investments with Nabiki and what Barry had saved from Himamashi's. Still, a strict review of Ranma's code of honor did imply it was a debt that should be paid. Ranma would normally go double or nothing, though. He hated any implication that he could lose. "I suppose something can be managed."

"_Eh, bien_!" Chardin whipped out a wallet and extracted a piece of paper. "With interest, you now owe three hundred eighty-one thousand, four hundred seventy yen." He extended the I.O.U. as everyone else gasped.

Barry folded his arms. "Since when was interest involved in the debt?" he asked coldly. Chardin smiled and, after a moment, withdrew the slip.

"I should have known you were an honorless cur, Saotome!" he said, slipping it back inside his wallet. "Perhaps my family's lawyers should…"

"Ranma!" Akane choked. "If something like that was publicized…"

Barry nodded. He watched Chardin's eyes. Finally he spoke. "You _really _want a rematch, don't you?"

"_En effet_!"

Barry sighed. French was not a language he was competent in.

"He said, 'yes'," Mio assured him.

"Ucchan's, then… 5:00 P.M. tomorrow."

"_Tres bien_! This time, prepared am I for _le parlay_ and its variations." He smiled. "Saotome, prepare to dine!"

* * *

"Mousse!" bellowed Barry, charging into the Nekohanten. "I need you to teach me Hidden Weapons." 

"What?" Mousse lowered his glasses onto his nose and gaped at Barry. "Why?" came a second later.

"I gotta beat a freak who can eat an entire roast duck at a gulp in a martial arts eating contest!"

Cologne stuck her head around a corner of the kitchen and stared. "Tell me, Ranma," — there were customers, after all — "how did you manage to get involved in this?"

"Take too long to tell. Oh, and watch out for a really high-powered demon in the area. Goes by the name of Marller, appears as a blonde gaijin woman with a really odd sense of fashion. Advice from the sisters… Stay clear! She's dangerous. They said something about 'First Class, limited, commercial' …I think."

"What is she? A driver's license examiner? They can be bad, I'm sure, but…"

"You know the three we… ah… symbolized this weekend?" Cologne nodded. "She's considered to be roughly as powerful as any one of them."

Cologne visibly staggered and steadied herself against the door. "Ancestors! She could destroy the entire city!" She suddenly scowled at him. "And what, may I ask, does this have to do with eating contests or hidden weapons?"

"Don't forget half million yen," Shampoo added.

"No," growled Cologne, "certainly, let's not forget about a half million yen!" She snorted. "I. Want. Details!"

That took a while.

Shampoo and Akane took pity on Mio and led her upstairs. "Do you want us to work something out?" Akane asked.

"Maybe have new date at end of month," suggested Shampoo.

"I'll pass," Mio Saratalova smiled tightly. "I just want you to know that you folks have real trouble coming. Not the demon you're talking about, at least not directly, but that Picolet's challenge was probably just the beginning."

"Thanks for the warning," Akane said with warmth. "Have you seen anything about…?"

Mio understood but shrugged. "Like I said… nothing definite. Are you really going after a demon?"

"Too soon to tell," Shampoo said then changed the subject. "You like sailor-sensei?"

"Love them!" admitted Mio.

"You need to master Hidden Weapons techniques by _when_?" screeched Mousse.

"Tomorrow, at five. Sooner if possible," admitted Barry.

"Do you—? It takes—! How can you expect to—?" Mousse looked ready to have an apoplectic fit.

"Hey! I'm not worried about bringin' it back out. Just packing it away temporarily."

"That doesn't necessarily help, you know!" Mousse was exasperated. "Do you have any idea what happens if you don't unpack it? Oh, very well. Let's see what you can do."

* * *

Barry's head was buzzing as he escorted Mio to her house. Mousse's explanation and training was as much nuclear physics as it was martial arts or ki. Mio requested and got a rooftop ride. The event had become a standard ending for the Amazon Month dates. 

"Sorry about the upset this evening, Mio," he apologized.

"Oh, that's all right, Ranma," she replied, holding very tight as he took a ten-meter gap with room to spare. "I think it was this that made it worthwhile anyway." She caught her breath as he leaped from two stories to run across a gap too broad to leap and then bounce back and forth between buildings to gain the next roof. "How do you do this without busting up people's roofs?" They soared into space again then hopped along a row of roughly identical rooftops. "I don't even hear your feet landing."

"Training. Careful use and conservation of ki… When I push off, I spread out the force so that I'm actually not pushing that hard against any single point. Just the opposite of using ki in a fight, really, where you focus and concentrate your ki to cause more damage." Barry leaped down to a fence and hurtled along the top rail till he came to Mio's yard.

He stopped in very briefly — Mio had cats and he had appearances to maintain — then headed for Ucchan's. For some time now, he had felt watched, and he was glad Mio would be out of the way if something happened. He stunted behind chimneys and in and out of shadows before using the Umisen techniques to vanish. Then he waited. After a few moments, there was a scritching sound and a small brown form edged around the wall he leaned against.

Barry stared and felt sick. The telephoto lens and scattergun audio pickups meshed seamlessly with the little brown bat's cranium, replacing eyes and ears. The tiny mouth snapped and salivated below the metallic cylinder as the airborne spy searched for its target. Finally it crabbed around the wall then flung itself into space. Soon, it was out of sight and Barry carefully continued on his way. He'd call Kasumi—! No, that thing was far beyond present technology. If the demon had that, why not simple wire taps? It was time to update the goddesses — _personally_.

* * *

Gwen Barlowe waved to the shadowy form she believed to be her husband. She put the car in reverse and started for home. Turning the radio on to an easy-listening station, she hummed along with a song by a group called Rockapella. Music helped her deal with the sense of futility that sometimes threatened to overwhelm her. The sky was just turning gray with the light of the sun. It promised to be beautiful day. 

She arrived home, as she had for the past year, before her older sister left for work and helped her get their mother into the car for her Thursday dialysis session. Her sister would take her there and Gwen would pick her up that afternoon. Her sister worked as office manager for an insurance firm and wouldn't be back till 5 or 6 P.M. That left the housework and other routine upkeep to Gwen, as well as looking after her seven-year old son.

She wondered if Barry realized just what had been decided at the end of the previous school year. Brendan would be starting a special education program for the upcoming school term to treat attention-deficit disorder. She really had to find time to talk to the psychologist this week. Today's calendar was full and tomorrow was Friday, and Barry's birthday. She watched her sister's car disappear up the street and sighed. Time to go see what Brendan was up to. One of the other things testing had revealed was a genius level IQ. He tended to use that, unsupervised, to create as much havoc as he could.

She wondered if Barry understood what each day put her through? (Barry _was_ aware it was rough, but didn't realize _how_ rough. As for Ranma, he was clueless!) Since he had been thrown from that horse, he seemed so different. He had an intensity she had never seen in him before, as well as an aggressive edge that was starting to frighten her. He reminded her of her brother after he had returned from the Marines. Relaxed but strangely honed, ready to counter a threat no one else perceived.

Gwen worried about how distant he seemed lately. She missed the intimacy but understood Barry might be uncomfortable for a while. What really worried her was the nervousness he exhibited when they were alone. Sometimes she felt that a stranger looked out of her husband's eyes. It made her more desperate to recapture what she missed (and was a major cause of a certain teenager's nightly discomfiture).

She called the psychologist in the hope that he might be able to slip her in after all and was rewarded. Someone canceled an 11:00 A.M appointment. Could she come in? She worked quickly to compress the morning schedule.

The psychologist spent an hour observing her son and his play habits with a number of toys, evaluating his attention and responses. "He seems reasonably healthy," Dr. Hasbar said slowly, while Brendan played in a room on the other side of a one-way mirror. "His attention is rather… limited. I would also like him to be re-tested for learning disabilities."

"Why?" Gwen asked tensely.

"I handed him a puzzle and asked him to complete it. He played with the pieces and never even began the puzzle." Gwen frowned. Brendan didn't mind puzzles and usually did better than that. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but despite the previous testing, he may not be the genius you believe him to be."

Gwen sighed appraisingly, "Just what puzzle did you give him anyway?"

"A simple puzzle — only twenty-five pieces. A child his age should have completed it in five minutes." The doctor leaned back in his leather chair. His posture said, 'poor woman, to have your hopes dashed…'

"What. Puzzle." she grated. Moments later, she banged out the lobby doors with Brendan in tow.

"Hey! Slow down, Mom," Brendan yelled, running to keep up. "What's wrong?"

"That stupid, overbearing, smug-faced _jackass_!" she snarled. Brendan flinched, wondering if he'd done something wrong. "Not you, sweetheart."

"Oh. Okay… Why'd he want me to do that puzzle anyway? I told him I did it a long time ago." Brendan snorted. "I could do it blindfolded."

"Unfortunately, darling, sometimes people assume things. And some people have trouble listening to… kids."

"How can Dr. Hasbar be a kid doctor if he doesn't listen to kids?" asked Brendan.

"Good question!" Gwen growled. She stopped and her shoulders slumped. "Oh, no!" The right rear light of the car was crushed in. While they were at the psychologist's, someone backed into their car.

"Hey, look! Somebody hit our car!" said Brendan unnecessarily. "What?" he asked as his mother, muttering savagely under her breath, unlocked the car and pointed toward his seat.

"Get in! Buckle up! Be quiet!" She started the car up and headed to the dialysis center to wait for her mother. The police car pulled them over a block short to give her a citation for the broken light.

* * *

Barry leaped off the roof by the park and immediately was in a fight for his… hair? Several intense violent moments later, he stood over more figures from Ranma's past. The diminutive men with the weirdly wrinkled bald heads glared up at him. 

"Surrender, Ranma Saotome!" snarled one that looked like a bean bun, "We know you have it!"

"You guys again?" he snarled back. "Have what?"

"The Dragon's Whisker!" snapped Pork Bun. "Obviously you cleverly switched it on us while we were all fighting and left us with an ordinary useless string!"

"You guys are nuts!" Barry snapped back. "I ain't got time for this right now, but, as far as I know, the whisker was lost when I was fightin' the freak for it. Good riddance, too! At least I've still got my hair!"

"You lie!" said yet another Bun, as the last looked around for the hedge clippers he preferred as a weapon. "What are the odds of the magic of the whisker leaving you with hair! Obviously, you must have used it to recover! We want it!" Bean Bun reached around with his pole-arm as the others recovered their weaponry. "We'll get it, too!"

(WUMP!)

Barry watched the little forms whirl out of sight. That was mildly refreshing. Idiot Buns! Go figure! Picolet Chardin, a techno-minion, the Bun Boys… all in one day. It looked like Mio was better than he gave her credit for. He dodged down several side streets and then slid into a phone booth. He better call Akane at the Nekohanten and Ukyo at Ucchan's. It was getting weird out here and he better make certain they were safe. The Tendos first, though.

"Moshi, moshi!"

"Hi, Kasumi! Barry here. Has anything strange been happening?"

"Barry-san! Why, yes, now that you mention it." Kasumi's voice was as calm as ever, as she relayed her information to Barry. "We have been getting some rather strange visitors. Rouge, in Ashura-form, stopped by saying something about her honor. She preferred to go searching for you. Shinnosuke — Akane's friend from Ryugenzawa? He's in the living room having tea. I don't think he remembers why he's here, though. Would you know?"

Barry shuddered. "I have my suspicions, Kasumi, but I have to see Mrs. Morisato first."

"If Rouge comes back, what should I tell her?"

"That depends on whether Akane is back by then. When she gets back, ask her to call Nabiki. It just occurred to me that interest should be set at the time a debt is incurred and Chardin's half million might be mere legal fluff! Akane'll know what it's about!"

"Oh, dear!" Kasumi sounded a bit upset. Half a million yen could get a rise out of even Kasumi, apparently. "Picolet Chardin? I do hope you didn't invite him for dinner! You know how he eats, and I don't think we have enough."

Barry slumped against the side of the phone booth then recovered. "I think he's bringing his own, Kasumi. If anyone else shows up, be your usual self and let them know I'm working on a neutral meeting place where we can talk things over. No need to mess up the dojo."

"That is most considerate of you, Barry-san."

Barry counted his change. "Uh… Kasumi? Could you call Ucchan's and the Nekohanten and tell them who's shown up and to expect more?"

"Who has shown up?"

"Chardin, Rouge, Shinnosuke, the Bun Boys… Don't be surprised if Herb, Copycat Ken or Ryu Kumon show up, too. Heck! At this rate, don't be surprised if invaders from Mars make an appearance!" He thought furiously. "And tell them not to start fighting! If anyone starts something, all Nerima's gonna look like a bug on a windshield!"

"I'll do my best," Kasumi said, a hint of doubt creeping into her voice.

"You'll be fine, 'Sumi. I have faith in you! And I'll be back as quick as I can. Ooops! Gotta go!"

Barry dodged out of the booth just before it was cut in half by a winged Phoenix Mountain birdman wielding a long-handled halberd. "Where have you hidden it, Saotome!" he screeched. A second winged warrior appeared carrying a bow.

"This is stupid!" grumbled Barry. 'It's overkill! Why me?' He ran off down the street, hoping to avoid further confrontation. He hoped he could get to the Temple and that their phone was working.

* * *

Marller lost sight of the boy as he employed his damnably effective martial arts techniques again. This was fun, though! She sat on a throne-like chair in a dark room of the Kuno mansion, watching the action on a big screen TV. He was so predictable. Of course he'd go running for the Temple! But Beldandy, Urd and Skuld weren't there. Skuld was at the university. Beldandy was out for dinner with Keiichi, as they did every Thursday night. Urd was chasing an illusion of herself, leaving the Temple in the care of its… less discerning defenders. 

When he crossed the Temple boundaries, he would break the wards and would have to defend himself against the defenders, alienating himself from his handlers. Meanwhile every enemy he had ever possessed would be charging right in after him! If she was lucky, the Temple itself would be destroyed. As she flipped the channel to catch the cameras she focused on the Temple, Kodachi came in.

"Oh Hohohohohohohoho!" Her dark eyes glistened with suppressed excitement, but her manner was stiff, unnatural even for her.

Marller shifted uncomfortably. That… laugh! Some things even a demon could appreciate the lack of. "What is it, Black Rose?"

"It is nearly finished, mother dear! I believe tomorrow, we will have the first test of the formula!" The girl looked nervously at the demon and waited breathlessly for her 'mother's' approval.

Marller smiled grimly. Kodachi's problems stemmed in part from a stepmother who had been a control fanatic and a firm believer the world was out to deny her, her due. A trophy bride of their unstable father after the death of their birth mother, she stepped in to control as much of the family resources as she could. Not wanting the bother of children of her own, she considered her predecessor's children as assets to be exploited. She taught her stepdaughter well. Kodachi had been isolated, nearly from birth, from any person or thing that might offer unconditional love. She had only her stepmother's approval to hope for and that approval demanded success, victory and power, regardless of the method used to attain it. Only her brother, in their early years, came close to offering anything else. Yet when he offered violence in an attempt to thwart one of their stepmother's schemes, he was sent packing to a boarding school, leaving Kodachi at the woman's mercy until her death when they were in their early teens.

Tatewaki came in and glared at the woman on the chair. To his befuddled senses, Marller appeared to be his stepmother, as well. He had come to fear and hate his stepmother. In his opinion, she alienated their father from his children. She was quite willing to use drugs, deceit and violence to obtain her ends, and did so regularly. He had made it a point, from early on, to oppose anything she favored and promote anything she opposed. It was unfortunate that, at ten, he had never heard of reverse psychology. At this moment, though he possessed all the memories of his past eighteen years, Marller's powers reverted his discernment to the level of that ten year-old boy, shortly before he had been driven out.

"My, my, Tachi," she drawled, "To what do we owe the honor of your presence?"

"The usual, mother," he said with distaste. "I have but come to give my farewells before I leave to seek Akane and the pigtailed girl."

"Really? As if they would have anything to do with _you_!"

Tatewaki growled. "I shall win them yet!"

"Oh, _please_! They could never notice you with the Saotome boy in the way! He is so fine, so perfect an example of manhood!" She gazed at the older sibling, watching how rage brought an angry flush to his face. "I'm tempted to take him, myself."

"Harlot!" snarled Tatewaki.

"Mother! No!" wailed Kodachi. "He's mine!"

Marller lounged and smiled. "You better do something about him then," she suggested. "Prove your worth." Her final statement was a spell as well as a dig at the Kunos' pride. They left rapidly, while Marller emitted a very Kodachi-like laugh of her own. Simply amazing! Almost all the action that was converging out there was the result of a simple 'bad-timing' curse, a sort of enforced version of Murphy's Law. All the possible bad things that could happen to the Saotome boy were about to unload on him at the same time. It was truly unbelievable just how excessive those forces were! Marller rang a bell, summoning Sasuke. "Another Bloody Mary, servant," she said disdainfully. "I'm going to enjoy this."

* * *

Gwen barely restrained herself from acting like a maniac. She had managed to talk her way out of a ticket for the broken light, only to be informed at the dialysis center that her mother's blood pressure remained dangerously low after the procedure. They had been trying to phone her and were waiting for the ambulance to take her to the hospital. Her sister had already been notified and was on the way. Brendan, bored after the visit to the psychiatrist's office and the wait while the policeman decided whether to ticket her or not, was racing around the waiting room. She wasn't in the mood to control him, all her attention focused on her mother.

She looked old and defeated. She focused on her youngest daughter and sighed again. She could see the pain and fear in Gwen's face. "Do I have to go to the hospital?" she asked weakly. She plucked at the cover they had given her.

"Yes. You do!" Gwen said fiercely. "We have to get your blood pressure up." She tucked the cover in and jittered in place.

"Dear, sit _down_!" her mother said with a hint of exasperation. "Please don't be so upset. This body of mine is just getting old." She smiled slightly. "Almost time to go home." Gwen knew she wasn't talking about the house they all lived in.

Gwen barely restrained herself from breaking into tears. "But, _I'm_ not ready!" she said forcefully. "I'm not ready… God, that sounds so _selfish_!"

"Don't worry, dear. I know you don't mean it that way." The old hand, its veins bruised and black from the need to search for useable veins, reached over and patted Gwen's arm. "I love you, too. Even my going won't stop that."

Gwen sighed and nodded. Then her sister hurried in, followed by the ambulance attendants. She was intense and concerned as always, firing off questions like the beat of a snare drum, quickly taking over the situation, including directing the medical team how care for their mother.

* * *

Ranma looked at his watch again and frowned. It wasn't like Gwen to be late. He slowly began to wander out to the road at the end of the driveway. He had surreptitiously been practicing his martial arts and ki control during breaks and lunch. He found that Barry's control over a horse was greatly improved by a deliberate overlap of his aura and the animal's. He had, with his usual flair, discovered that he could cast his awareness about, seeing and hearing things at fair distances from his body. Some of this had been aided by the book Gwen had given him the other day. While details were not clear, several people with out of body experiences described how it felt, and he used that to guide his experimentation. He contemplated using his ki to persuade Gwen to leave him alone, but shied from the idea. It was one thing to manipulate the will of an animal, but to do that to a human… 

He thought again about his isolation and the opportunities in this new world. "Feh!" he muttered quietly. A world without Akane's sweet smile? He'd rather be dead. He had an idea that might work to get him back. But it required a little more research. Ranma would need to allow a degree of emotionality that he normally denied himself, but he had never wanted anything or anyone the way he wanted Akane. It would have to be enough.

Lights suddenly shone at the entrance to the farm and he shaded his eyes. It was simply a late-arriving owner, coming after work or a late dinner to spend some time with their horse. Ranma waved absently, he wasn't even sure who it was, and got out of the way. While he supposed he could find out by accessing Barry's memories, it was too much effort. He looked up at the stars and wondered how the folks home were managing with Barry. He liked the older man, who combined youthful exuberance with middle-aged experience. He didn't pretend his age gave him special dispensation when it came to being right or wrong. He made suggestions, admitted mistakes and tried desperately to leave Ranma live his life despite his presence.

In some ways, Barry was soft. He didn't have the edge the _old man_ trained Ranma to. If Barry had been in charge of Ranma's childhood, there would have been no Nekoken, no Jusenkyo, no Umisen or Yamasen… and without those techniques, Ranma would be a Joketsuzoku husband or dead… or worse. He would lack the control he enjoyed over his life, the confidence in his own ability to adapt to anything and win. Such confidence came at a terrible price. If he had had one iota of understanding in the past year, or less pride, he might have understood the signals Akane had been sending his way, before this.

He shook the bangs back out of his eyes as lights turned in the driveway. It was Gwen. He knew something was wrong when she stopped but didn't look at him. The hairs on the back of his neck rose and he felt a sudden sense of panic. He never considered the idea that something might happen to Barry's family while he was here. He yanked open the door of the car. "Gwen! What's wrong?"

"Could you… Could you drive home?" she asked shakily. She didn't wait to get an affirmative answer, but slid across the bench seat.

"Kami—! God, what's wrong, Gwen?" he whispered.

She sat still for a moment before she began quietly, "Mom's back in the hospital. Her blood pressure… But she's talking as if she's not coming out again, and that stupid psychiatrist… and the puh-p-policeman… and the light… and… buh-b-Brendan…"

Ranma took a deep breath to slow his heart rate. Apparently, no one was dead yet. He walked around to the driver's side of the car and climbed in. He watched, fascinated, the stressed out woman beside him. He had always regarded other people's lives as easy. But few of the problems Barry encountered were readily resolvable by Ranma's training. Mostly, he had to muddle through. He hated it. He almost wished someone would pick a fight with him, but Barry's routine never took him near anyone that aggressive. When you worked from before dawn to well after dark, you didn't have much time for recreation.

As he listened to a recital of Gwen's perfectly rotten day, it suddenly occurred to him that he was driving the car. It took every ounce of control he had to avoid overriding Barry's training behind the wheel. If he hadn't spent a month with the man, listening to his attempts to explain the difficulties of their cohabitation, he would have had the car in the ditch. It was a little like the horseback riding he was doing. He had to think about what he wanted to do, but then let the body respond appropriately. He grinned briefly then sobered again. Gwen was going to demand comfort. He sure as hell hoped she wouldn't demand anything more. He made occasional comforting sounds in her direction.

When they arrived home she seemed to regain a measure of control over herself, and started a discussion with her sister over when they would visit their mother and what they would do while she was in. Neither discussed the possibility that she might _not _be coming home. After his dinner, Ranma followed Gwen downstairs and, after watching her for a few moments, ran through a shower. She was in bed when he came out and Ranma gingerly edged under the covers. Gwen sat there, still as a statue and with a chill emanating from her as if she were preparing for a Hiru Shoten Hai or a Shi Shi Hokudsan or both. He sat there, watching her sit there, staring across at the wall.

"Um, you okay?"

"No."

Ranma absorbed that. He felt a sense of _déjà vu_. If this had been Akane, he would have insulted her, tried to gain some response to snap her out of her doldrums. Barry's memories and reactions were saying something quite different to him. "Ya want a shoulder?"

"No."

"Don't be a dummy! I know yer hurtin'!" The words slipped out before he could stop them. He offered the shelter of his arm and froze. The look in her eyes…

"_Dummy_?"

He flinched, almost expecting a mallet. "Gwen, I wish I could make things better, but I don't know how. For now, all I can do is lend ya a shoulder, listen to ya and hope somehow that it will turn out all right." Praying he was doing the right thing, he offered his arm again. Gwen huddled into it, missing the look of pain that crossed his face. She began to cry again, and he rocked and comforted her until she fell asleep. Reaching over to turn out the light, he wondered if Barry were doing any better in his place.

* * *

Barry ran like hell. He had at least half a dozen Phoenix Mountain warriors flying after him, as was the three-faced, six-armed Ashura-form of Rouge, the Bun Boys, the Seven Lucky Gods and what looked like a mechanical humanoid tank. Sentaro of Martial Arts Tea Ceremony was careening along on his horse, closely flanked by Azusa Shiratori (who, frankly, frightened Barry almost as much as Kodachi at her worst). She was alternating glaring at Ranma and shooting glances at the equestrian as if she were considering kidnapping him for her collection. Herb, Lime and Mint of the Musk Dynasty charged alongside Kiini, master of the Muscle Sword. Prince Toma of Togenkyo and a team of his guards and advisors were trying to flank him. The Furinkan Chemistry Department on bicycles, some clown — literally — on stilts… Actually, conspicuous by their absence were Happosai, Pantyhose Taro and, of course, Ukyo and the China gang.

Feeling like he was being chased by most of China across the length and breadth of Tokyo, he dodged a fire blast from Rouge, ducked a Chinese broadsword courtesy of a Bun-Boy, and reversed, running up the shaft of a savagely thrust pike of a Togenkyo Island guard. He waved hello in passing to Prince Toma who scowled at him and instinctively unleashed a blast of his fire illusion at him. Barry knew that trick, since Ranma had, but the Dojo Destroyer didn't. He somersaulted between the behemoth's legs and back through the pursuers who tangled with one another in total lack of cooperation and confusion the only saving grace of this mess. Above him, his airborne pursuers stunted past one another in angry competition for airspace. The Dojo Destroyer turned and puffed out a cloud of smoke before collapsing. His bulk trapped two of the Bun Boys beneath him.

Barry ducked into an alley across the street from the Temple and tried to work out his options. Umisen was really getting overused today, but he didn't have much of a choice. Panting, he listened to the bickering that broke out as the group realized they had temporarily lost him. About half the argument was in Chinese, of which he had very limited understanding. They roughly made search assignments and began to look for their target.

At the Kuno mansion, a slender, leather bedecked form lounged in a nightmarish throne and laughed her demonic head off.


	48. Consequences

**Guest Ki: Chapter 47**

_**Consequences**_

Back at the Kuno mansion, Marller 't'ched, leaned forward and surfed her spy channels till she found one that revealed the boy's location. So far he had not attempted to enter the Temple grounds nor had he attacked any of his opponents. He had circled the Temple, with short excursions through side streets, three times. She tapped one of her fangs.

Until he entered the property, the passive defenses of the perimeter would deflect the other players in this little game. Only people with the specific goal of entering the Temple environs would not be deflected by the ward-off spell. Whether they realized it or not, even the airborne adversaries had been avoiding the airspace above the Temple, either swinging high or sweeping wide of a rough trapezoid that enclosed the grounds. Once he was within, of course, their focus on him would allow them to pursue. Even if he went in stealthed by his techniques, his presence would immediately allow the others to consider the possibility that he was within.

She cast a small spell that allowed her spy, for a time, to be perceived as one of the pursuing parties. To the other angry individuals, if asked, they had seen one of their own party wave them toward the hidden teenager. Soon, the Saotome boy was once again in flight, slowly being herded back toward the Temple. Maybe _this_ time…

* * *

What was spoiling the demon's plan was Ranma's trained reactions and Barry's threat training under Ranma. Once he was under attack, he immediately put the idea of getting to Urd and Beldandy out of his mind, focusing on his own danger. Without a clear intent to enter the grounds, he was being diverted by the Temple defenses like everyone else. 

Ranma would have been annoyed by all this attention. Barry was worried. If he didn't find some way to head this off, people were going to be hurt. Like that young couple who just walked around the corner. They stopped dead and gaped at the onrushing mob of violent armed men and women. Cursing, Barry reversed again, running right at the horde of pursuers. He was far enough away that they had more than enough time to tighten their formation and prepare for his approach. Barry found himself slipping into overdrive. His mouth tightened. This was bad — _very bad_! The safeties were off. He wondered vaguely if they knew what they were in for. The light seemed to shift into red tints. Apparent movement slowed and he felt the hammer of his heart slow, yet strengthen as well. Then it was too late for anything but the unlimited Art of Ranma Saotome.

Loops of wire reached out from a lute only to be countered by the claws of the Nekoken. A three-pronged spear thrust savagely, but seemed to move like molasses as he ran up the wrist-thick shaft to deliver a stunning kick to the bearded face before him. A flicker of fire erupted from a three-headed figure to be countered by a sudden rotation of an arm, releasing a coil of cold ki to combine with its heat producing a mini Hiru Shoten Hai. The wind caught up a swooping form, as well as two others, and launched them across the square.

Feathers with dart points sailed in with lethal intent but ridiculously sluggish speed. Ranma's body slipped by them and they went on toward a small man who looked like he'd rather be fishing. Barely, he broke off his casting motions to use his rod to block the lethal darts. Weakened, the rod snapped, dropping in slow motion toward the ground. Several devices with blinking lights arced toward him from young men leaping off bicycles, the ki of the objects hinting at enormous potential energy. Using the light-ribbon technique, Barry sent them further toward the onrushing Musk Dynasty.

Barry felt as if he were a nearly helpless passenger again. All he could do was add the ki techniques to the mix and hope they kept enough of his opponents far enough away to avoid hurting them. Desperate, he tried to focus on ignoring attacks that promised non-lethal consequences, in the hopes that he could stifle or change attempts at lethal moves. But even with that limiting condition, it was getting more and more difficult to control.

Water hit from somewhere and Barry was shocked as his difficulties increased. Ranma's girl-type was actually more aggressive than boy-type for some reason and, if her brute strength were less, the reaction time increased another notch. Barry snarled like a cat and, using ki, launched the recovered Dojo Destroyer at an even larger form that strode in to attack. Their combined mass shook the ground, but the delay allowed the others to hem the pigtailed form in. Barry crouched and grunted, calling up her aura into a hollow sphere of energy that flared as multiple physical and energy attacks slammed into it.

* * *

Akane and Shampoo leaped over the wall and walked into the house. They stopped dead as three young faces poked around the corner to glare their way. Cautiously, they separated slightly in case the angry looks went further than looks.

"Where's Saotome?" growled the voice of Ryu Kumon. "I've got business with him."

"So do we," Natsume and Kurumi chorused.

"Is your name Akane?" Shinnosuke asked Kurumi.

"_No_, moron!" snarled the younger of Akane's supposed sisters. She glared at the befuddled looking man and his broom. "It's only the eighth or ninth time you've asked me in the past hour! _That's_ Akane!" She pointed.

Shinnosuke glanced back and forth between Shampoo and Akane. Akane saw the puzzlement in his eyes and sighed. "I'm Akane," she resolved his indecision, waving. "What are you doing here, Shinnosuke?"

The young man smiled and started to speak, then frowned. Akane rubbed her forehead in exasperation. Kasumi peeked in from the kitchen and noticed her sister's expression. "Oh, my! Shinnosuke? Perhaps you could sit down and have some more tea while you decide what it was you wanted to ask. Akane, could you help me with dinner?" Natsume blanched, while Ryu looked puzzled at their expressions of horror.

Akane sighed and looked skyward. "I'd love to, Kasumi, but I think we better go find Ranma, first." She watched the others' eyes go hard and sighed. She really hated to do this, but…

(FOOOOM!) Her battle aura went on. She deliberately set her aura cold and glared at the three startled martial artists. "You _are_ going to let Ranma explain before you attack him, _aren't_ you?" There were three startled nods of agreement.

* * *

"_KI-YAH_!" The ball of shielding ki blew outward like a bomb, catching Barry's enemies by surprise and flinging them away like toys. The Bun Boys did quick imitations of bugs on a windshield with a nearby skyscraper. The Togenkyo Islanders tumbled the length of the street, fortunately hitting no one. The Furinkan Chemistry Club members were already out of it due to their an ill fated downwind attempt to use some sort of gas grenade, but took damage as the Musk Dynasty used them for a landing site. Rouge had been knocked through a wall into a public bathhouse. The Phoenix Mountain Folk were scattered, except for one, who was hurled into the Temple grounds.

Nearly a mile away, a woman with platinum blond hair turned and shaded her eyes as she heard the echo of the blast. Frowning, she stepped into an electronics store to check out a big screen TV. Moments later, several customers besieged the store manager with inquiries about how he had managed to have a woman step into a TV screen.

As the echoes of the blast died away, Sentaro's horse showed far more sense than its master demonstrated. It left at high speed with Azusa hanging onto its tail and shouting 'Ramon! Ramon!' Whether it was running from the conflict or the sickeningly cute girl hanging on to it was anyone's guess.

As Azusa and Sentaro disappeared to create unintentional marital conflict — his wife was not going to be happy with what he was dragging home — Rouge, in her human form, stomped out of the public bath, a large robe wrapped around her shapely frame. She cast her gaze about at the groaning mass of humanity and near humanity, then picked her way across the rubble to the rim of the crater that lay at the center of the area of devastation. Rouge was not terribly happy. The explosion had thrown her into the men's sento. Of course, that was Ranma's fault.

Barry lay groaning at the bottom of the crater. She had not felt this wiped out since just after the avalanche when they were looking for Ukyo, or maybe just after she/he had nearly died from the completely out of body experience. It wasn't from damage. It was because she had exceeded her ki reserves. Strangely, her mind was very aware of her surroundings. She could not move. She could not sense with ki. She barely had enough energy to move her eyeballs around behind the half-closed lids.

"You filthy… rotten… pervert!" Rouge punctuated her words with solid kicks to the stomach and ribs of the fallen redhead. "Put _me_… on show… for a bunch of… _men_!" She paused as her flickering shadow suddenly danced against the far side of the crater. She was sure it hadn't been there before. Had something behind her caught on fire? She turned to look and swallowed heavily. Two feminine forms stood, feet firmly planted at the rim of the crater. Both were wreathed in the flame of their personal auras, the one a coiling radiant blue, the other a silvery flickering white, both with hair lifting from an unseen breeze.

"Touch him again and you're dead," whispered the one.

"Amazon kill girl who hurt airen," announced the other with deadly intensity.

Rouge immediately placed the still form of Ranma between herself and the apparitions of doom. She looked for a source of cold water. None was readily available in the crater. Then she got a nasty smile on her face. The other participants in the let's-beat-cut-choke-maim-kill-Ranma parade were reviving and showing interest in taking up where they left off. Akane and Shampoo leaped down into the pit and stood over the supine redhead back-to-back, teeth bared. With sudden, remorseless speed, they were surrounded.

"Akane?"

"Yeah, Shampoo?"

"Fight well!"

(kkkkKKKKKK_KKKKKKRACK-Duh-BOOOOOoo_ooooommmmm!)

A very irate female with swirling platinum hair and triangular blue marks on cheekbones and forehead seemed to glide over the broken road surface, her toes spurning the ground. The lethal circle opened up. Urd looked down into the crater then looked at the assembled opponents.

Barry couldn't see her, but could vaguely feel her presence. She never considered Urd to be particularly authoritative due to her appearance; Urd always looked and sounded like she was on the verge of seducing someone. Barry now discovered the eldest Norn did have a sensei-voice, after all. "_What_ is going on here?" It was said quietly, but with a hint of impatience for all involved parties.

For the most part, there was a general scrubbing of toes into the pavement and muttering as a large number of violent people reacted as if their mother caught them right after they broke the expensive vase on the hall table.

Saffron's people landed warily and whispered among themselves before advancing. The lead winged humanoid, a male, bowed jerkily. "We find that our leader is missing, elder sister of our father. Is she within your boundaries?"

Urd gave him a once over. "She is," she answered after a moment.

"I am called Kuri," he said, bowing again. "Forgive her trespass, great one."

Urd's eyes narrowed. "Well, some respect for a change!" She sauntered closer and gazed up into his eyes, getting a definite flinch in reaction. "I will. Provided you all come in and discuss the insult you have given to this… charge of mine."

"I'm _not_ yer charge," growled a weak voice. Barry sat up limply, in part due to the exceptional healing abilities of Ranma's body, in part due to aid from Akane and Shampoo. "You are notresponsible for my actions _or_ decisions." Barry coughed, then smiled lopsidedly. "Though I do appreciate the offer."

The Phoenix Mountain Folk looked at Urd then back at Barry. It was obvious they were considering going after him again.

"Forget it," Urd said flatly. "We don't take kindly to people who mess up our neighborhood. She pointed in rapid succession to Kirin, Toma, Herb, the Dojo Destroyer, Rouge, 'Pork' Bun and Ryu Kumon. "You, you…and you, come in and wait in the garden. The rest of you… clear out!" She turned to Akane, Shampoo and Barry. "You three…"

"Ma'am?" Natsume and Kurumi stepped forward. "If this is about Ranma, we're in, too." They held steady as Urd gave them a long look.

"All right," she said shortly.

"What about us?" a wavering voice whined. The leader of the Chemistry Club wove to his feet. "We want represented…"

"You little idiots had better run home and _pray_ I don't demand to teach the Chemistry class!" she said venomously. "If I find you're within five kilometers of here in thirty minutes, you will discover not only how _little_ you know about Chemistry, but how_ much_ I enjoy rubbing your noses in it! Now, scram! I'll speak with you in the morning."

"Yes, ma'am!" They left, completely demoralized.

A slender figure chose that moment to dash out of a side street and point dramatically at Barry.

"Saotome! I challenge you, once again!" A small cape or large handkerchief swirled, revealing a total change of appearance. A lightning bolt cracked and the figure fell sidewise, smoking. Urd blew past the end of her finger.

"Someone wanna drag him in?" Barry inquired. "I think that's Copycat Ken…"

"I get him, Ranma," Shampoo offered. Barry wavered and almost fell as support disappeared from one side.

"Anyone _else_?" Urd asked dangerously.

"Our leader?" began Kuri nervously.

"Will represent you and come out in one piece, provided she behaves herself," Urd assured him.

The others dispersed rapidly then, egged on by approaching sirens. The leaders followed Urd in.

"Hello, Kiima," Barry said to Phoenix Mountain's representative. She was easy to recognize. Not many people were near duplicates of Akane when they got wet. She received a cold glare in response.

"Okay, people!" Urd shouted, "gather around, please! Now, one at a time. What is your major malfunction concerning Ranma Saotome today?"

* * *

At the Kuno mansion, Marller cursed and threw bolts of power at helpless pieces of furniture. So damn close! She thought she would choke when Urd offered sanctuary to the Saotome boy. Phoenix Mountain was not a power in terms of the truly high and mighty, but had a complaint been made to the All Highest, Urd would have been responsible for Ranma's actions against any god or goddess he had offended.

Not only had that situation been defused, but _no _damage had been done to the Temple grounds, nor had Saotome been seriously injured. As she turned back to the screen, a late arriving Tatewaki Kuno zoomed onto the scene to rant at the gathering emergency crews about the 'sorcerer' Saotome, Akane Tendo and the 'pigtailed goddess'. As he was not focused on the Temple, his subconscious forced him to avoid it and he rushed about, vainly searching for his nemesis. Disgusted, she fired a bolt into the TV and sagged dejectedly onto the throne, the one undamaged piece of furniture left in the room. While it wasn't a total loss with the little business she had pushed over at the university, it had been shaping up to be so much more! What a lousy…

Kodachi slid into the room and raised an eyebrow at the damage. "Mother, dear. It is ready…"

Marller froze and then got a horribly nasty smile on her face. Perhaps things were looking up, after all.

* * *

**_Journal: Ranma's Guest _—_ Thursday, 24 October 1991 – Day 61_**

_Well this was an interesting day. Mio, the girl who does the tarot card readings, warned me that I was in for a perfectly rotten time. She's good. First Picolet Chardin showed up, demanding payment of one hundred thousand yen, plus compound interest. We're battling tomorrow, by the way. I'm hoping to use hidden weapons techniques I'm learning from Mousse to counter his speed eating. Unless he's gotten much better, he's going to be overconfident without a large crowd for you to feed, and imagine you must either parlay or fold. Well, I'll fold all right; fold space and tuck those little trifles into ki-powered pockets at Amiguriken speed. He has a chance, but only if he's a lot faster than he was before. Akane is trying to get hold of Nabiki so that we can settle the issue of compounded interest. Besides, if I do lose, forgive me if I borrow enough money off Nabiki to clear the debt._

_If Chardin was the first indication that today was not going to be good, the appearance of the Bun Boys, griping about the Dragon's Whisker was the next. They were followed by Toma and the Togenkyo crowd and the Dojo Destroyer. I think I ran into Lime of the Musk Dynasty next… You can imagine how it went. I _had_ been trying to get to Mrs. Morisato and her sister, Urudu, about a demon that's after them, but I think the demon anticipated me. The bottom line was that I had everyone including Phoenix Mountain after me before 5:00 P.M. _

_It was getting a bit tense. My control was beginning to slip and there were enough of them that they could run me down the way a wolf pack runs a deer — herd it in circles, work in relays and wait for it to drop. By 6:15, I stopped worrying about being late for Ucchan's. It was getting harder and harder to lead them away from crowds. I finally had to turn and fight. Bishonten's got a busted nose and some loose teeth. Herb has some broken ribs. The Bun Boys are well concussed from hitting a sheet of armor glass they're testing at Takietomi's next to the Temple. Know what? It doesn't break. Kiima's going to be convalescing at the Temple for a while. She wrenched her right wing during splashdown in the Temple birdbath; she didn't fit. Everyone else had less critical injuries. Copycat Ken arrived late and received a deluxe Urd-bolt special. Sort of like Mrs. Morisato's technique but with more bite! The real lucky ones were Ryu Kumon and your sisters, Kurumi and Natsume — Kurumi (I'd been calling her Karume) corrected my pronunciation with true martial artist flare. She's almost as good with that ribbon as Kodachi is! — they didn't get read the riot act by an angry teacher. I never thought Urudu had it in her, but she ripped them up verbally, made them take it and graciously allowed them to explain themselves._

_Kirin and the Nekonron crowd believed that you had kidnapped Laichee. She had gone missing the other day, and they lost no time tracking you down. The Kinjakan is missing from Phoenix Mountain. For some reason, they decided you had it. Togenkyo's magic spring is now acting like Nyanniichuan. Toma makes a pretty girl, but he's not too happy about the latest changes in his life. I think he just discovered periods. They decided to blame you. (This might have some basis, but is hardly your fault! They started it!) Herb wanted a rematch. They lost the locking ladle down a crevasse and blamed you for that. The springs around Jusenkyo have not come back, and they blame you for that, too. Since their custom is to lock animals into human form for wives, they feel you've destroyed their traditions. _

_I got a little irritated at that one and asked them how much longer it would take for the Musk Dynasty to go extinct. Animals are not, by nature, more ferocious than humans and generally would make terrible human mothers. I was starting to suggest that their intellects had suffered as well, but Akane hit me. Then Urudu filled in the gap while Akane and Shampoo threatened more of the same. The Dojo Destroyer heard you were making fun of him. Comments like, 'built like a wall and twice as thick' and 'he carries those signs around to hide the cue cards' had been passed on to him and assigned to you as the originator. I have to admit it sounded like something you might say, but you usually don't insult your enemies behind their back, Kuno being the exception. It's so much more fun to do it to their faces! I said as much. Dojo took it wrong and Akane and Shampoo jumped me again. Urudu mollified the guy, restated my remarks and wonder of wonders, he got it right this time. Copycat Ken also received insults, much like the Dojo Destroyer. _

_There was this odd clown wandering around on stilts. After much horn honking, we found out this was another fiancée. I'm not certain I really understood how she came to be a fiancée, but Akane and Shampoo convinced her that Ranma was taken. This was a good thing, as the moment I opened my mouth, she threw herself at me _—_ rubber nose, whiteface and all _—_ announcing that I was to marry her and carry on the tradition of the something-or-other school of clowns_.

_About that time we began to figure out that there was something specifically about me that was attracting this grief. Apparently Marller tagged us with a general bad luck spell. Your own attraction for trouble did the rest. Since by its nature, the curse was self-protecting, Urudu had to call her sister in _— _very carefully _—_ to help undo the curse. Baradandya _— _outside class, she prefers first name basis _— _and Urudu did their magic and slowly your recent opponents began to feel that their reasons for attacking you were a trifle inadequate and specious. The Chemistry Club ran like whipped curs earlier (Ha, Blue Thunder!) which left us with a few nervous guests and a few groups still unsettled by the action and concerned for their own problems._

_A call to Nekonron (yes, they do have phone service) revealed Laichee had been found. She had gotten restless the night before and fallen asleep in the palace garden. She apparently is not sleeping well of late and has been nauseated at meals and in the mornings. I don't expect you to recognize the symptoms, but I congratulated Kirin and hoped his child would be healthy. Needless to say, he was in a great rush to get home after that. All we can do is keep an eye out for the _Kinjakan_. Musk Dynasty would be better off without the locking ladle or Jusenkyo. Toma's problem… _

_What you did was not intentional, and may not have anything to do with the spring's present condition, but it could have. I thought about it and suggested that Musk Dynasty, the Amazons and the Togenkyo group work together. If the Amazons could get the locking ladle, (they know the Bakusai Tenketsu as well as Ryoga does and I think would be less hostile – think about being locked as a pig, forever) the Musk could use the Ladle and the water from the Togenkyo tree for their wives. Togenkyo's men could be locked with warm water in their normal forms. Shampoo was doubtful about whether the Amazons would go for it. What they would gain would be key to the problem, but at least they were beginning to talk about it. _

_Akane and Shampoo were magnificent! I badly over-played the ki techniques trying to avoid hurting anyone and the combined attacks left me completely wiped at the bottom of a crater. You should have seen their auras! They completely demoralized everyone before Urudu ever got there and may have been the reason her dominance was accepted so easily. Beautiful!_

_Absent from the throng were Mikado, Taro, Happosai, the Ghost Cat, Kaori, Nagasameru and any of the other fiancées you haven't seen yet. Sentaro and Azusa were there, but left even before the Chemistry Club. Ryu is sticking around. Once I'm finished with Chardin, he wants his chance. He's staying in the dojo. Natsume and Kurumi (say it _—_ Kurumi, Kurumi, Kurumi, Kurumi…) are using your old room. They are here because they heard somewhere that Ranma Saotome knows where to find their real father. What can I say? They're right!_

_No new information today on the bring-Ranma-home project. But we will get you back._

Barry finished his writing and put away the journal. He was almost through the original notebook, even allowing for writing only every second or third day. Though it was late, Nodoka was coming over to see the girls. Since she wasn't planning to tell Genma that they were here, he suspected that Ranma's father was in for an unpleasant time.

Jumping off the roof, he wandered around to the door of the dojo where Ryu was running through some forms. Ryu had watched the Nerima gang's practice earlier and had been astonished at Akane's improvement. He revealed nothing of his own new-won skills, and Barry wondered just what he was up to. He didn't seem faster than before, but he was also good enough to leave everything hidden. Barry wished Ranma were here. If Ryu pushed him hard enough, he might have to lose deliberately, locking down potentially lethal responses. He had no idea how Ranma would take that. Ranma hated to lose. It was the one fault that even Ranma admitted about himself.

Barry went to the table and the plates of food Kasumi had set up there for his practice. Sitting down, he raised knife and fork, and went to work. In seconds, the food was gone and Barry sat back with a sigh of relief. Across the room Ryu shook his head. Watching Ranma at this martial arts practice was too strange.

"Where does it go?" he asked as Barry carefully returned the food to the plates.

"Honestly?" Barry queried.

"Honestly, please."

"I don't know."

"Is this like that business with mallets?"

Barry snickered at Ryu's question. "Maybe… I'm not sure. Maybe this is a man's version of woman's magic." He snickered some more, while Ryu scowled and considered that.

"If this is an eating contest," Ryu asked finally. "Why aren't you eating?"

"You've never met Picolet Chardin, have you?"

"Nope!"

"Lucky you!" Barry grinned. "The family, Chardin, have extremely extended mouths and elongated mobile tongues. They can swallow an entire suckling pig at a gulp. The only answer for a normal person to their natural abilities is the '_parlay du foi gras_', which unfortunately can be defended against. I'm hoping this will be an alternative solution."

"But…"

"Martial Arts Dining considers being _seen_ eating to be 'inelegant'," Barry explained. "The _parlay_ allows you to shove food down your opponent's throat. Since he has to eat twice as much, it slows him down and gets rid of your food before he can finish his."

"_This_ is a martial art?" Ryu choked out.

"Don't accept a challenge from him. The only reason I'm doin' this is because I owe him one hundred thousand yen from the last time he did this to me," Barry told him, "plus interest."

Ryu swallowed heavily. "Why did you bet money you didn't have?" he demanded scandalized.

"I didn't bet him money; that was the bill for the food we ate!"

Ryu gulped again. Barry went into hidden courses mode while he gaped. Suddenly, a delicious taste filled his mouth. He chewed enthusiastically. "Kasumi's cooking is great… Hey!" He suddenly realized where it must have come from.

"Gotcha! That's another angle on the parlay, throwing food into the spectator's mouths," Barry explained. "I think he's going to demand the observers wear gags or something. Hard to tell, though, but that's why I'm doing the hidden weapons thing." Ryu reached in for some cake but Barry smacked his hand. "This is for my practice, Kumon-san! Get your own or ask for it!" He grinned. "Kasumi's always willing ta feed poor, starving martial artists."

Ryu snorted and started for the doors. He jumped back with a curse as Akane nearly took the shoji off their tracks. "Nabiki's missing!" she yelled by way of greeting.

Barry stared at her. "Watcha mean, missing?" he barked.

"I mean missing! As in gone… not where she should be… _missing,_" Akane wailed. "Sakurida hasn't seen her all day and she missed a _business appointment_!" Barry's eyes went wide in shock. Nabiki miss an appointment?

"Have you _looked_ for her?" he demanded.

Akane stared at him, blinked, then smacked her head. She closed her eyes, sitting down and centering herself. Ryu shot glances back and forth between them. "What is she doing?" he asked finally.

"Quiet! She's lookin' for her sister," Barry said. "New ki-technique. She's one of only two people we know who can do it."

"That way," Akane said distantly, pointing. "She's not at the university, she's further south and east… I think."

"Try to feel what she's feeling, Akane," Barry requested. "Push your limits."

After a moment, Akane shook her head. "Still can't do it."

"Let's go then!" Barry stood up and flashed the hidden food back onto the plates.

"Whoa! Wait a minute!" Ryu Kumon glared at them. "Go where?"

"To get my sister, baka," growled Akane.

"Nikki, you think?" Barry suggested.

"If Nikki's involved…!" Barry heard tendons pop as Akane clenched her fists.

Ryu frowned. "Is this another of your 'rescue trips', Saotome?"

"Shut up, Kumon." He turned to Akane. "Call Ryoga. See if he can go up to the university and find out what happened, and find out especially where Nikki's been. If Akari's not around, maybe Kasumi can take him."

"Kurumi can take him." The two sisters slid into the dojo. "I'll be going with you to help find Nabiki."

"Natsume!" whined the younger sister. "No fair!"

Barry looked Natsume over. "Ready for a quick evaluation?"

"Bring it on."

Ryu gasped as his future opponent slid by him like smoke. Natsume blocked, face grim, and struck back. Forty-five seconds later she was down on the floor, immobilized by an aikido-style submission hold on her left hand. Barry let her up.

"You'll do. Let's get going." Akane dashed for the house.

"I guess I'll come," announced Ryu. Barry nodded.

"Aren't you going to evaluate him?" grumbled Kurumi.

"I know how good he was last time we fought. He was good enough then." Barry glanced over at the other man. "I'll warn you up front, we may be up against Yakuza. Think you can still do the Yamasen?"

Ryu frowned. "I swore..."

"I know. And from what I've heard of you, you've kept that oath. But Yakuza use guns and other _unfair_ advantages. I'd rather not wonder if it could have made a difference."

"I'll only use it as a last resort." Ryu said finally. "I've come to think it's too dangerous a set of techniques."

"Fair enough."

"Let's go!" Akane said. "I've called Ryoga. He and Akari will be heading south as soon as Kurumi arrives."

"We'll catch the bullet train at the bridge."

"The bridge?" asked Akane.

"Do you have the money to spare for tickets?"

* * *

Barry shielded them from the wind of the train's passage. Ryu and Natsume watched the pair as if they were aliens. The power of the new ki techniques was more than a little intimidating. The fact that Ranma was using the techniques to glue them to the train was almost more so. 

"How you doin' this, Saotome?" Ryu yelled over the roar of the train.

"I've blended our ki with the train's! We get pulled along as if we're part of it!"

"The signal's shifting," Akane cut in. She pointed; her finger began to swing east faster and faster.

"Our stop," Barry agreed. "Hang on!" Akane gripped Natsume's shoulder and Barry got a handful of Ryu's. They jumped.

"_Ahhhhhhhhhh_!"

Simultaneous balls of energy formed around the pairs and they cannoned off into the night.

Natsume and Ryu were still angry when they made it to the docks near Yokohama.

"You could have warned us!" the former snarled.

"Quiet!" Akane growled. "We're getting close."

"Yeah, I can sense her now." He pointed for their allies' benefit. "This is it. Warehouse. There _are_ guards, or at least armed men at the side door, over there. There's a whole barracks on the second floor."

"How can you see that from here?" protested Akane. "It's all fog to me!"

"I know it's hard, but areas where people have intense emotions _are_ foggy. I don't know why." Barry growled. "Pump more energy into it, tomboy!"

"Where's Nabiki?" asked Ryu.

"Third floor," Akane answered, suddenly tense as a bowstring, "and she's not alone."

"All right! We'll go in from the roof."

* * *

"You sure I can't convince you to let me go?" asked Nabiki quietly. She was handcuffed to a beam in the center of the room. Her captor was a big man, muscular and covered in tattoos. It was easy to determine as he had his shirt off and looked like he planned to remove the rest of his clothing soon. "I suppose we could even have a little fun, first," she added, trying to keep her voice steady. 

"Shut up, woman!" he grunted. "You caused Mr. Darikamosu difficulties. He has graciously permitted you the opportunity to pay him back." He smirked. "At the going rate, that will only take you about a decade or so." He reached over and grabbed her by her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. "You're pretty enough. Let's see what you've got." His hand fastened onto the front of her blouse and he ripped down, leaving her upper body clad in the remains of her sleeves and nothing else.

"Bastard!" She kicked at him, aiming for his kneecap and planning to work higher as he crumpled.

Somehow he dodged and caught her outstretched leg. "Why, how helpful!" he sneered. "I guess you want to get started immediately." He took a firm hold on the tougher material of her trousers leg and began to back away. Nabiki was stretched between her handcuffs and his gripping hand.

"Let... let _go_! You sonofa... Owww!" Nabiki writhed as she was now suspended like a hammock between her cuffed wrists and his hand. Her free leg flopped as she tried to kick him, but she just didn't have the leverage. All she succeeded in doing was losing her trousers and nearly her panties as well. Her head smacked into the beam as she fell back, dazing her.

"Yes," the big yakuza muttered. "I'm going to enjoy breaking you."

There was a sound like steel being ripped. A circular section of the corrugated ceiling dropped between the man and his intended victim, four forms crouched on the disc and four pairs of eyes sought him out. He turned and ran. He was an enforcer as well as his family's trainer for prostitution, but he knew immediately he was outclassed. His hand reached out and hit the alarm. His lips twisted in a sneer of success, he turned to observe the soon-to-be-dead intruders. The ki-blast punched him through the wall.

Why did you wait?" screeched Akane, already running for her sister. The thunder of feet on the stairs outside was becoming evident. Barry didn't answer, but Natsume did for him.

"Ummm... I think he's really pissed, Akane!"

Barry snarled as he moved forward, bringing up his shields as the first thugs looked through the hole in the wall and opened fire. After a moment the shields were refocused into a parabolic reflector, and the gunmen came under fire from their own ricochets.

"What took you so long?" Nabiki tried to joke as she looked up at her sister.

"Barry, she's all right! Let's go!" Akane bellowed. It rang loud in the stillness as the yakuza took cover. Then a 'ting-ting' sounded as small metal spheres bounced into the room.

"Grenades! _Shield_!"

_(KABLAMM!-BLAM!-AM!) _

There were now large holes in the floor and water from burst pipes in the sprinkler system was spraying everywhere. The floor teetered and groaned. "Akane, take point on the roof!" snapped Barry, expanding her shield into a wall. "Ryu! Natsume! Pass Nabiki up to Akane then back her up! I'll follow!"

Akane leaped up through the hole. Ryu made a stirrup of his hands and ogled her torso appreciatively as Nabiki went through the hole after her sister. Natsume smacked him then followed Nabiki.

"That's it, Ranma!" he yelled, leaping up and swinging through.

"Good! Here I — _Yipe_!" (K-k-k-kKRACKK!) The floor gave way, and Barry slid down into the gaping darkness.

Akane went white and started to jump back into the hole. Ryu grabbed her arm. "You need to get your sister out of here! We'll go."

"But..." Ryu and Natsume were already jumping into the hole. "_Damn_!"

Bullets began to whine across the roof, making skittering, snarly sounds as they were channeled by the corrugations. She picked Nabiki up and blazed across the broad open area, choosing speed over stealth or shielding techniques. She went four blocks, found a pay phone and deposited Nabiki beside it. Akane groped out some coins.

"Call the police. The warehouse is near Dock 48, along Red Mackerel Street. I'm going to make sure those baka don't get themselves killed!"

"Akane, wait!" Nabiki managed to catch her sister's arm before she vanished. "I don't want to be caught in this neighborhood showing..." She blushed and pointed to her topless state.

"Here!" Akane was gone, leaving her gi top and obi in Nabiki's hands.

"R-r-rright," Nabiki muttered. At least Akane was wearing a bra. Grimacing at the bruising she received thus far, Akane's sister dialed the police. She also donned the heavy cotton gi top, fastening it with the obi in a negligent once-around-and-tie-it-like-a-bathrobe. "Moshi! I'm..." Nabiki considered what she wanted to say. "I'm Iroko Katebeppu and I was being held by the Yakuza! They're fighting with someone at this warehouse..." She rattled off the address and details. "I don't know what's going on, but the Yakuza have guns! _Please_! Help me! Come right away!" She hung up and listened to the mayhem going on in the distance. Since Iroko Katebeppu was the name of the police commissioner's daughter and Nabiki happened to know she was planning a visit with her boyfriend to a love motel…

* * *

Akane went back the way she came. She could hear the rattle of gunfire from the warehouse. Deciding they might need another entrance and wanting to cause more confusion, she took the front door. Besides, she had a new technique that she and Ryoga had devised and she wanted to test it. 

The guards outside the door had been joined by two of their fellow thugs. They all had their guns out and nervously looked up at the building they guarded, wondering what was going on. They hesitated to leave their assigned positions, as they were also acting as buffers against official interference. Besides, whatever was going on in there didn't sound healthy for anyone joining in. They turned at the sound of footsteps and boggled. Having a pretty, half-naked girl running at a man will do that, if he's not intensely trained or on guard for it. Then a feminine voice screamed out, "Kagayaki Shindoo (Glittering Shock Wave)!" and the running girl's image distorted, as earth and air absorbed her ki and sent a dense vibration wave through both media. If Akane had considered the technique's ramifications, she would never have used it.

The ground jumped as if an earthquake began and then every item of a nearly homogenous substance in range vibrated itself to pieces. The yakuza's guns shattered. The metal pins from an old injury in the leg of one man fractured into shards, dropping him screaming to the ground. Another, who prided himself on his gold fillings, felt them shatter in his jaw. The metal hinges and doorframe shattered slightly before the door, which crumbled as the airborne shockwave reached them. The wood siding held, but nails crumbled to pieces, releasing the boards they fastened. The two men who were unmarked by the technique's effect, as well as their agonized comrades, were buried under debris. Akane ran over them. Inside was chaos.

* * *

When Barry fell through the floor, she dropped into a confined unlit space. At first, she was disoriented. The place was only three feet high and crisscrossed by ductwork, wires and a fair number of rats. It hardly qualified as a 'floor'. Then it occurred to her that it was actually a crawlspace between the first and second floors. Barry had quickly located Ryu and Natsume above and in front of her, but was unable to join up with them. They were moving swiftly, looking for her, and she would have to use Nekoken to cut through ductwork and beams to match their speed. The building was already too unstable for her liking. Her ki-vision told her they were going to have an encounter with the squad that attacked them on the third floor. Making her decision, she cut straight down through the false ceiling and dropped into the warehouse proper.

* * *

When Ryu and Natsume jumped down, they avoided the hole Barry fell into and advanced across the true second floor. They moved toward the door, eliminating opposition as they went. As these were mostly yakuza who had been sleeping and the lights were now out, it was a simple matter to knock them out or disable them. Their biggest danger came from each other, as they had not worked together before. 

Natsume sensed the intrusion into her space, then screeched and struck back at the attacker. "Don't even pretend to claim that was an accident!" she hissed, rearranging her blouse.

"But—!" protested Ryu. He had briefly grabbed something soft. He choked as he realized what it must have been.

"Do you want another one?"

Ryu intelligently shut up. They made it to the door. He was reaching for the doorknob when his own instincts warned him. Risking another blow from her rug-beater, he grabbed at Natsume to drag her back. She was already retreating; her sharper ears had heard the ting-thump of a grenade. (KA-BLAM!) The door disintegrated, but they ducked behind heavy furniture. Black-clad figures dove into the room. Ryu sucked in a breath. He recognized the gleam of low-intensity night goggles and military-level weaponry. Suddenly, he was very glad Ranma had released him from his oath.

* * *

Barry hurled herself off the top of the crates she had been using for a pathway as shuriken were thrown with professional zeal in her direction. Black-clad forms leaped after her, swords, nunchuku, knives, darts and other lethal hand weapons in generous supply. She was about to unleash more ki techniques when the fact that they were not using guns percolated through. Ki-sense and scent brought the trace of chemicals in the air to her awareness. There was something down here with a lot of potential energy, most of it in two-hundred-fifty-liter drums. She snagged a shuriken out of the air as she ducked and shunted. It was black painted brass, with sharp edges and a chemical in the blood grooves. Shuddering, she tossed it away. She'd go hand to hand and avoid anything... explosive.

Barry blocked a slashing knife, slipped a hold and shot an open palm to snap her attacker's head back. She slipped aside a pair of shuriken and closed, moving past the man too swiftly to track and dropping him with a punch to the kidneys. The next two were looking the wrong way and received quiet but effective tsubo point knockouts. Then Barry heard the grenade go off upstairs. Ki-vision told her that their enemy was concentrating its armed forces on Ryu and Natsume. Casting caution to the winds, she decided to fire off a Mouko Takabisha in the direction of the stairs to get their attention. As she powered up, a tickle of sensitivity told her Akane was coming back.

"Damn it, girl!" Barry snarled. There was no way she could have gotten Nabiki clear of the area in the time she had. Barry pulled her concentration back in, focused and let fly. She was more than startled when Akane's technique ripped the front door of the place to pieces and spread a cone-shaped path of destruction through the place. Steel support beams cracked, brittle, but not completely broken, as her technique lost power with every object it affected. Then it intersected Barry's Mouko Takabisha. In some weird way, they combined. Suddenly hundreds of mini ki blasts were rocketing for every homogeneous surface within the building. It looked like a major fireworks display. It had similar results.

(Blam! _blam! BLAM!Blam! BLAM!blam!_B-b-b-bLAM!")

Combustible materials began going off.

"Shit! Shit; shit; _shit_!" Barry grabbed two more opponents and threw them out the windows, then went back and retrieved the others she neutralized and served them as well. They'd be hurt, but hurt wasn't dead. She kept track of Akane and the others. Apparently, the group on the stairs had been in contact with the metal rail and each other. They had been mass-tazered by a ki-ball and were not much good for anything. Ryu finally used the Yamasen, not to attack his foes, but to break through the wall and start dropping the twitching men to the street. Barry felt Akane close on her position.

"What happened?" yelled Akane, ducking as a large burning drum of something arced over their heads.

"Where's Nabiki?" Barry demanded. "And what happened to your top?"

"Well I couldn't just leave her there without..."

"How much good will cotton fabric do to protect her if one of these boys stumbles across her?" the redhead snapped.

"I left her at a pay phone. She's calling the police!" Akane screamed at her.

"How many of them are on a Yakuza payroll?" Barry screamed back. "I think this is calling the police very nicely, thank you!"

"_Jerk_! I was worried—!"

"Keep your mind on business! Nabiki can probably identify Nikki; without her, we're screwed! Now it all depends on whether these mugs can hide the evidence, and as far as I can tell..." They ducked again, and then leaped a river of fire as flammable liquid ignited. "...we've done a pretty good job of _helping_ them!"

"It wasn't _my_ fault!"

"We'll discuss this after everyone is out and safe," Barry growled, making a cutting gesture with her hand. "Let's go, or do you want ta be barbecue?"

Ten minutes later, the four martial artists and one rescued girl watched from a rooftop six blocks away as police and fire trucks came to deal with the disturbance.

* * *

At a fine restaurant near the university, Nikki Darikamosu finished his Lobster Thermadour and sipped a glass of wine. It was a fine end for that little tease. After she'd been trained a while, he might even go visit her, himself. He'd have to keep tabs on her progress. He wanted to visit her before she lost all of her pride… see the look in her eyes that told him she knew who had done this to her. He belched and stood up. It was good to be powerful, to be above the common hand. He conveniently forgot that 'common hands' had dealt with him severely just a month before. 

Well, it was time to go. His men were waiting outside with the car. He ignored his bowing host and walked out the front door. Where were they? He didn't pay them to be late! He looked down the street and saw the hood of the limo protruding around the corner of the building. His lips pursed with anger. Those low bred scum, were probably lazing around. If they were using his private TV/VCR in the back of the limo they would be lucky if he only fired them! Briskly he walked to the corner and looked around.

The limo was crushed flat from just behind the driver's seat to the trunk; the special armor and bulletproof windows had been no match for whatever destructive force had been used. Shaking, he backed away. He had no intention of sticking around to see what happened to his men. He turned and bounced off a broad chest. Ryoga Hibiki smirked at the Yakuza wannabe sitting on the pavement. Behind him, Kurumi, Akari, Konatsu, Sakurida and Katsunishiki gazed almost passively at the man. Ryoga reached down and grabbed him by the front of his expensive silk western-style shirt. He pulled him close and gave him the eye. "You wouldn't happen to know where we can find Nabiki Tendo?" he asked quietly and with just a hint of fang.

Nikki's bladder and consciousness deserted him at the same moment.

Two hours past midnight he was deposited rather abruptly in front of the townhouse he used as his headquarters.

"If Nabiki had been harmed, you would be in real pain right now. _Don't _do it again," Ryoga warned him. Ryoga, Akari and Kurumi rode off. There was school tomorrow, after all.

Nikki staggered to his feet, torn between fear and rage. Nabiki Tendo had been rescued! Nothing happened to her, save a few hours of fear and inconvenience. He refused to note that he had been dealt no worse punishment. He raged to himself about how they _dared_ to mistreat _him_! He staggered up to the gates of his dwelling and stopped. Two large men in business suits were waiting on each side of the gate. One had a luminous dragon tattoo swirling around his neck and across his cheek.

"Nikki, your grandfather wishes to speak with you."

* * *

"Na-bi-ki-i-i-i!" Nabiki was crushed in the iron grasp of her weeping father. She wondered breathlessly how he maintained conditioning, since she never saw him work out. Soun had been out with Genma and stopped with him at the Saotome house where Nodoka gathered them up. She walked with the two old friends; listening to their outrageous stories and wishing Soun's wife were still alive for her to reminisce with. She smiled secretively as she thought of how Genma would sweat when he saw Natsume and Kurumi. The news they got from Kasumi when they arrived sent Soun into a panic. Nabiki kidnapped! Yakuza mobsters! Ranma and Akane both out risking their lives to get her back! Natsume and Ryu Kumon with them! Kurumi going to the university with Ryoga to track down the Yakuza who ordered it! 

Soun had run in circles, liberally watering the floor, until Genma, in panda-form, tackled him and sat on him. Soun wept and only occasionally paused to listen to the highlights of Kasumi's summary of events, as she knew them. Her chronological recitation had left Nodoka pale and shaken. She always assumed that Ranma's adventures were a bit overstated. Barry assured her that Ranma had understated, if possible. Now something was going on that was every bit as strange and dangerous as anything she had ever heard.

When Barlowe-san and the others returned, she had desperately held back tears, but the gaijin who inhabited her son's body was very observant. He dropped down beside her and hugged her, breaking down her barriers as he did once before, letting her release her emotions, healing herself of her fears. Then, Genma turned on the TV.

"Late breaking news on the fire in the warehouse district in Yokohama," the announcer said. "It has taken three fire companies to control the blaze near the docks. Police say they received a call reporting Yakuza activity, but just what was involved is not clear at this time. Eyewitnesses on the scene have reported several official transports with handcuffed men leaving the area and there are further reports of a hidden drug lab in the building. The warehouse, which belongs to Mr. Daikonu Darikamosu of Darikamosu Shipping..." Here they inserted a file picture of Mr. Darikamosu and the warehouse. "...has never been connected with organized crime before. Early reports of automatic weapon fire seem to indicate a gang war of some kind." The images switched to a thin man with a Soun-like mustache speaking to the press. "The mayor of Yokohama promised to 'peel away the layers of obstruction' until the truth is clear." The newscast went on to other subjects leaving the image of the burning, exploding building imprinted on the brains of the two families and their guests.

Nabiki tried to shrug out of her father's arms. "See Daddy? Ranma made it all bet-ter!" she squeaked as he resumed hugging her.

"Oh, N-N-Na-bi-ki-i-i-i..."

Natsume glanced at Ryu, then Genma, who was stealing glances at her. She strode over and fixed him with a steely eye. "Old panda, my sister and I came to town because we heard a rumor that Ranma knows who our father is." She watched the flinch he gave with a satisfied expression. "I'm betting you know who he is, too."

Genma glanced over at his son and wife, then back at Natsume. I do. popped up the sign.

"You'd really like to tell me, wouldn't you?" Natsume's hands tightened on her weapon. It was an open threat.

Wait for your sister. Genma closed his eyes and sat back as immobile and obdurate at a brass Buddha.

But Nodoka saw and heard. Somewhere deep inside she prayed very, _very_ hard that her husband was, at last, ready to be a man.


	49. Confessions

**Guest Ki: Chapter 48**

_**Confessions**_

Kurumi staggered in about 5 A.M. Traveling by pig was a little slower than train, but a _lot _cheaper. She found the doors open to her and wandered toward the kitchen, hoping for a late (or early) snack. Blinking, she tried to make sense of the sight of Ranma, Akane and Natsume asleep around the table in the main room. She stood there swaying and scratching her head. Suddenly, Ranma's eyes opened.

"Welcome back," he whispered and added unnecessarily, "We were waiting up for you."

"Well, duh-uh!" She kept her voice low. "Is there anything to eat?" she whined plaintively.

"Kasumi set some stuff aside for ya."

"Great!" enthused Kurumi then clapped a hand over her mouth. The others stirred but didn't wake. Barry tried not to smile at her expression.

"C'mon, I'll show you where the food is."

Moments later Barry watched Ranma's 'little sister' snarf down food fast enough to choke Picolet Chardin. As a matter of fact, he was sorely tempted to pit Kurumi against the Martial Arts Dining specialist, but decided that there wasn't enough time to instruct then girl in either the _parlay_ or in Hidden Weapons. The latter he really didn't have any right to do anyway, unless he got Mousse's permission. Oh, well...

"So," Kurumi mumbled around a mouthful of mackerel, "When were you plannin' on telling us about our dad?"

Barry looked at her flatly but gulped when he saw a hint of tears at the corners of her eyes. In an attempt to rally, he hardened his features and accused; "You're doing that deliberately."

"You...mean y-you...want us to b-be or-ph-ph-phans...the (gulp) rest of our lives?"

Barry dropped his eyes and his head to the top of the kitchen counter. He thumped it a few times before he caught a sly snicker. He brought his eyes up and glared.

Kurumi didn't miss a beat, but continued to stuff herself. "Ah thig ahl ligh havbig u' fo' uh bruver..."

Barry felt his heart skip a beat. "What did you say?"

She grinned at him. After she choked down the last of the food she added. "Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I'd rather have panda-man for a father than Happosai."

"How do you figure it's either of them?" Barry retorted.

"We-ell," she drawled, eyes blinking heavily, now that her stomach was filled, "it's not Soun; but it's definitely someone trained in the Anything-Goes style. Unless I'm mistaken, only the Saotome and Tendo families train in that style." She yawned hugely. "That means it's Genma or Happosai, who's the founder of Mutsabetsu Kakuto. Since the rumor dealt with you and panda-man, I'm betting on Genma."

"There is at least one other practitioner of our style," Barry said slowly. He watched her frown and blink. "But as he's only twenty, I don't think he's a serious candidate for your father."

She grinned again. "So, I'm right?"

Barry didn't answer directly. "Let me put it this way, Kurumi. All things considered, would you _want_ my old man for a father?"

"It's better than nothing, and we could get on with our lives."

"But..." Barry looked toward the dojo where Genma and Ryu were bedding down and where he would shortly go to get what little sleep he could. Nodoka planned to share with the two sisters. "But, what if he could be more?"

Kurumi blinked and frowned. "He's gonna be less with us around competing for dinner, " she snickered finally.

"I'm not joking," Barry insisted. "Your sister asked him directly, when we got back, if he knew. He said he wanted to wait for _you_ to get back. Maybe, just maybe, he's gonna try to change."

"I'm not holding my breath." She yawned again, stretched and looked at the dark predawn sky out the window. "So where are we bunking?"

"You two are in the guestroom with my mom."

"Are you kidding?" Kurumi looked shaken. "But _she's_ got that big sword!"

"Do ya honestly think my mother is gonna carve ya inta chops once yer asleep?" Barry asked sarcastically. He looked at her wide eyes. "Goof! Your only worry should be how much of a fuss she's gonna make over ya. Hell! I think she wants _me_ to be her daughter sometimes! C'mon!" He turned and walked out to the main room, knowing she would follow.

Kurumi sighed fatalistically. She muttered to herself as she pushed past him and shook her sister's shoulder. Natsume grumbled but didn't wake up.

"C'mon, Natsume," Kurumi grumbled back. "I'll leave you," she warned.

Barry crouched down and started to pick the girl up in a cradle carry. Kurumi growled softly. His eyebrow rose in response. "Wadja think I'm gonna do?" he asked. She frowned and blinked. "Let's get you two settled down for what's left of the night. Don't worry. I'll treat her as if she were my own sister."

He got another glare, which somehow metamorphosed, into a slight smile. Kurumi followed him up the steps. He returned for Akane, shook her gently then, at the lack of response, did the same for her. He had to fend off two punches and an elbow, all unconsciously driven, on the way up. Finally, he walked out to the dojo as false dawn began to light the sky. He glanced in as he gently slid the shoji open. Kumon lay curled on his side, huddled under the blanket. Next to him, Genma's futon was empty. Quickly, he cast about with ki-vision, but Genma was nowhere in range. Barry felt betrayed.

"Dammit, Genma! I don't know that anyone will forgive you this time," he muttered bitterly. Ranma could have told him. Would have told him. Genma looks out for himself. He flopped down on his own futon and let sleep take him.

* * *

"Good morning!"

Barry blinked at Kasumi's voice, then hunted for a pillow to pull over his head. Then, he remembered they were short on pillows and he had given his to Kurumi or Natsume. He reached for the blanket then subsided. He was now already too far awake to go back to sleep again.

He sat up, blinked at Kasumi and took in her worried face. He followed the line of her eyes and sighed as he saw the empty mattress. Their eyes met and Akane's oldest sister looked like she was about to cry, herself. He hated that look. Kasumi's face was made for smiles, not tears.

"Good morning, Kasumi," he replied. "Please don't look like that. It's not like it was unexpected."

She sighed. "Sometimes I think you are more disappointed in Uncle Saotome than… _he _would have been," she said quietly.

"I know what it could be like, 'Sumi. I wish _he_ had what I've had."

"Perhaps he will surprise us, yet?" Kasumi offered without much hope. "I'll keep some breakfast aside for him."

"You know what Nabiki would say."

Kasumi snorted in a very gentile fashion at this attempt at humor. She turned to their guest. "Kumon-san! Would you like to wake up? Everyone is going to school now. Perhaps you would like to join us for breakfast?"

Ryu sat up and blearily looked around. He thanked Kasumi then saw Barry. "Hey, Saotome! Would you consider last night normal for you?"

"Huh?" Barry thought a moment. "Well," he replied slowly, "things had been quiet of late."

"Burning little balls of sh—! Oops! Sorry, Tendo-san." Ryu caught himself in the middle of some colorful language. "No wonder you beat the crap outa your challengers. They're only the dessert course."

Barry grinned. "Still wanna fight?" he asked.

"Hell, yes!" Ryo replied. "Win or lose, I know I'm gonna learn something!"

"That's a healthy attitude to take around me," Barry bragged, playing his roll perhaps a bit unnecessarily.

Ryu snorted and delivered a spin-kick from a squat position. Soon they were sparring, trading blows and blocks to help chase the sleep away. Afterwards, they walked out of the dojo in time to see Akane tear off in what had become a ritual for her — the morning obstacle course. "She does that every day?" Ryu asked, running his fingers back through his hair to strip away the sweat.

"I usually do it with her, or meet her on the way, if I'm at Mom's, but… Yeah, every morning." Barry grinned. "I guess a little workout with the Yakuza just wasn't good enough for her."

"Speaking of which." Ryu looked uncomfortable. They turned toward the house and the bathroom. "That news report. If that was a drug lab, do you think they're gonna come after you?"

"I dunno," Barry admitted. "They might. If they do, I'm gonna hafta make it clear it ain't worth their while." His face tightened and his eyes narrowed. "If they get rough, and _didn't_ get me first thing, I'll track down every rat associated with them. I think I'll make that clear if I see Nikki again."

Ryu gulped. Ranma boasted a lot, but this sounded sincere… and deadly. "What happened to Budo?" he asked nervously. The pigtailed man's lips tightened further and he did not reply. Budo would have demanded only sufficient force to turn away the attack. Ranma seemed prepared, almost eager to go much further.

"I _don't_ like drugs. I _don't_ like prostitution. Yakuza destroy people's lives for profit. It wouldn't take much," Ryu heard him mutter. Ryu Kumon dropped the subject. If Ranma was going to go berserker, at least it was against someone like the Yakuza. They walked down the hall to the bath. The changing room door was partly open. They walked in and stripped. Ryu reached for the inner door.

Ranma's hand shot out to stop him. "Towels, fast! Strategic— ah, shit!"

The inner door slid open. Natsume stopped dead and gaped at the boggling Ryu. Behind her, Kurumi jumped up and down to see why she had stopped. Behind her Nodoka stopped halfway out of the bath to see Barry and the Kumon boy blocking the door. She bit back laughter. She forgot that the girls weren't trained in social niceties. They must have moved her house slippers and the sign aside when they had joined her in the furo.

"K-k-k-K-K-_K-KUMON!"_ Natsume roared. Barry grabbed a towel and dove for the hall. (Bam-CRUNCH!)He winced. Maybe Ryu could wait a few days to heal up.

* * *

It was a bit crowded around the table, but not as much as it would have been had Genma been there. There was little conversation. Natsume was glowering at Ryu, who sported a bruised face and a sour expression. Barry suppressed laughter. Usually, Ranma got caught in something like this. Akane looked between the two and began to smile faintly. She wondered if lightning struck twice, so to speak. 

Then Natsume turned her glower on Barry, and suddenly the Yakuza of the previous night seemed a minor diversion. "Where's panda-man?" she asked quietly. Kurumi glanced over, looked toward the ceiling and returned painfully to her restrained eating. Nodoka must have said something that impressed her. Her pace was that of a _normal_ human being. Barry barely noticed. He glanced at Nodoka, who was staring sadly at her hands in her lap. He knew what he would have to do.

"I'm right here, child," came an unexpected voice. The shoji at the garden drew back and Genma, human and fairly neat compared to his usual appearance, entered the room. If you dropped a pin into the steamed rice, you would have heard the impact. "Though it is hardly fair to you or your sister, you have the right to call me Father," he said quietly. At the shocked look on their faces, he turned to Soun. "Tendo, I would understand if…" His voice broke and he struggled to regain control. "I have brought great disharmony to your house." He sought for words.

"Saotome, for my part, I forgive you," Soun said quietly. "We both have done stupid things while under the Master's training." He nodded toward Nodoka and her son. "If anyone has the right to call for atonement, it is your wife and children. I suggest you address them."

Ryu was uncomfortably aware that he was totally out of place here. This was family business. You just _didn't _discuss family business in front of outsiders like this! Besides, he was very nearly on a direct line between Genma and Natsume and he really didn't want to get in her way again this morning.

Genma gazed at Nodoka sadly. "I don't have any excuse. I won't blame the Master for what I chose to do." He looked at the ground then at his wife, who would not meet his eyes, then at his now acknowledged daughters. "I accept whatever punishment any of you see fit." He knelt, prostrated himself and waited. There was a sigh like the wind.

"Genma, what have you done?" Nodoka asked quietly.

"I took a mistress, the year after we were married. You remember when Soun and I were gone six months and you and Kimiko raised Kasumi together for a while?" His head didn't rise, and his voice was soft. "She was a sweet woman, a good cook, and I had escaped the Master for a while. Anyway, I let her seduce me. The Master finally found me and forced me to go off with him again. And eventually, I came home. It was on one of those trips where I took our baby with me, that I met her again, and… was weak. Natsume was already a pretty little thing and almost I brought them back with me. But I was afraid. Afraid of you, afraid of the Master, afraid of what my daughter might grow up to face if the Master were around. I didn't know about Kurumi, though, until they showed up here asking for Tendo."

Barry was a bit startled at how peaceful the man looked. As near as he could tell, every muscle in his body was at rest. The man wasn't usually this relaxed as a panda sunning himself by the pond. There was none of the tension or sense of defensiveness that would suggest he was planning anything.

Ryu abruptly stood up, mumbled an apology and fled for the dojo. With that interruption out of the way, Nodoka raised her head, revealing the track of tears across her face. "Dearest, where does it end?"

Genma sighed a long sigh. He turned his head and looked at Barry, then at Natsume and Kurumi. "I don't know, Nodoka. I've done a lot of evil in my life. More than I could ever account for. I'm lucky that every time I turn around a corner, I don't walk into someone I've cheated or stolen from. The boy here has at least a dozen more girls who might be looking for him. Soun should _never_ go to Nanjing, China. There were two other martial arts techniques I tried to teach the boy that were every bit as bad as the Nekoken. As far as I can tell, they didn't work and he doesn't remember them."

Barry blanched. The mental trauma must have been horrific, to so completely block the resulting memories. Genma droned on, almost peacefully. Most of his misdeeds were petty or stupid, the result of a man who had been trained to live with all the morality and forethought of an animal. After a while, Nodoka interrupted him gently. "Dearest, how much longer is this going to take? It's time for the children to go to school."

Genma blinked. "I'm sorry. I suppose you two might as well go," he said to Akane and Barry. "This may take a while longer."

Akane rose to her feet, a doubtful expression on her face. Barry looked thoughtful, but remained seated. "I'm stayin'." He raised an eyebrow as Nodoka gave him a look signifying her disapproval.

Akane sat back down. She looked at Barry, Nodoka, then glared at Nabiki, who jerked and slipped her microphone behind her. "Nabiki, aren't you going back to the university?" she demanded.

Her sister gave her a sweet smile. "But things are so interesting here," she drawled, "I won't miss anything important."

"You are _not_ recording Uncle Saotome!"

"Let her, Akane," Nodoka suggested slowly. "I might miss something and need to replay it. But _no_ copies!" Her voice went hard and her fingers played on the silk-wrapped bundle on her lap. Barry knew it was merely nervous habit, but Nabiki gulped. Nodoka turned back to Barry. "You need to get to school," Nodoka told him. "You shouldn't disappoint the girl who is your date today."

"That's hardly important," he said flatly. Nodoka's eyes narrowed. He scowled back. "Don't any of ya do nothin' to Pops, till I get back."

"It's not your concern."

"I've made it my concern," Barry informed her, interrupting. He rose to his feet. "Let's go, Akane. If it concerns us, we'll hear the replay."

* * *

School was tense. Kodachi was absent. Shampoo and Ukyo heard about the fuss with Nabiki and demanded to know why they hadn't been included _in the fun_. Ukyo was also grumpy because she had missed the action at the Temple. "You guys have all the fun and I get stuck slaving over a hot stove," she griped. "All of the problems and none of the privileges of being married!" She stuck a finger in Barry's face. "And _you_ weren't there to help!"

Barry went cross-eyed then looked innocently at her. "You _wanted_ me to bring them all to Ucchan's?"

Shampoo and Akane began to snicker as Ukyo took in that concept. Mio walked up then and joined them, a worried look on her face. Barry waved at her. "Boy, did you ever nail it!" he moaned. "You should have seen the mayhem!"

Mio bit her lower lip and glanced back and forth between Barry and the girls. "It was bad?"

"It was a police action," Barry replied, "At least!"

Mio licked her lips. "In that case, expect full-scale war today."

"What?" Barry frowned and focused more acutely on her.

"I said, 'Expect full scale war today'." She dithered, glanced around and left with her books, _very _quickly.

"Did she just say…" Ukyo demanded shakily.

"Aiya!"

"Oh, boy!" Akane stared after Barry's date. "Who's your date for this afternoon? We'll have to warn her off!"

"If I survive that long." Barry looked sick. "Anyone got a ticket to a large, barren landscape no one's using?"

"Antarctica?" Shampoo suggested slyly.

"Too much ice and snow. Ki blasts would turn it to water, then I'd get wet and then I'd get frozen," Barry replied without missing a beat, "Red-headed popsicle girl!"

"The Sahara?" inquired Akane.

"It would be the one day that century that it rains, then we'd get a sandstorm and then I'd be a gritty, sand in every crack, red-headed girl!"

"Eeuw!"

"Outer Mongolia?" Ukyo considered. Then, "No, that's too close to where most of these morons come from. Let's not give them home field advantage!"

"Good thinking, Ucchan," Barry chuckled. To himself he imagined the crowd from yesterday on a baseball diamond.

Ryoga huffed up then, and apologized for being late. Akari needed to 'pig' him that morning to wake him up and the hot water was out again.

"I wish I had _any_ other curse besides being a pig," he groaned mournfully.

"I don't know Ryoga-honey…" Ukyo swung her book bag over her shoulder as they walked into the school. "I don't think you'd make a very good slug."

"Is there a pool of the drowned slug?" Ryoga asked, startled.

"What about a flamingo?"

"Bad idea," Barry cut in. "That bandana would never go with the pink feathers, and I just don't see Ryoga wearing a pink bandana. People might get the wrong idea—!"

(WHAP!) Several book bags were used to good effect.

"_Ite_…"

* * *

As mentioned before, school was a bit tense. There was an odd undercurrent Barry noticed right away, at gym class. He was used to people looking at him oddly, but… All he knew was, had he been a girl, he would have sworn half the guys were lusting after him. 

This was particularly so when they returned from the field to get their showers. They were all waiting for him to go in first. Fortunately, Ryoga, oblivious to all this, walked in, turned on the hot water and was reduced to pig-state. Barry looked at the water splashing on a cold, wet, annoyed black piglet then glanced at the rest of the gym class. Gosunkugi was obviously clueless, as were the twins and Kogara. Hiroshi and Daisuke seemed almost _too _innocent. Barry glared at them then dressed without a shower. As a joke it might have been funny, if they hadn't seemed almost angrily disappointed by its failure. Ryoga, more alert to nuance in his animal form, stayed close by Barry's heels, as he collected the lost-boy's clothes and waited for Akane to come out of the girl's side.

The look on his face was enough to deflect the scowl of suspicion that was her first reaction. That is… boy outside of girl's locker room equals peeping pervert. When he explained the problem, Shampoo and Ukyo, who joined them at that point, looked at one another. "We had hot water on our side, sugar." Akane and Shampoo nodded.

Suddenly, Shampoo's eyes went wide. She yelped and leaped into the air, almost hitting her head on the ceiling. She turned and backhanded Daisuke into the lockers. "What for pervert-boy think can grab Shampoo's butt like that?" The Amazon was outraged. No one had tried anything like that after the first week she was there! Daisuke often looked, but had been too intelligent to pursue… till now. He collapsed on his face with a weird smile playing about his mashed lips.

"Wow! What did he do, Shampoo?" Akane asked, eyes wide. Shampoo had jumped like a startled cat. She stared at Daisuke's twitching form with a sort of professional interest, remembering many boys who received similar treatment at her hands.

"He just walk up and grab Shampoo's butt, like this!" the Amazon complained.

Akane warbled and jumped, twisting in midair and bumping into Ukyo as she landed, almost sending the other girl off her feet. Her hands were behind her, rubbing her bruised derriere. "_Honestly_!" she exclaimed, blushing and upset.

Shampoo looked at her hand and frowned. "Aiya." She stared at Akane and blinked looking confused. "I sorry, Akane. I…" She looked at Daisuke again and frowned.

"Oooh, boy. This is could get ugly," Barry remarked sarcastically.

"Did Shampoo just pinch your butt, Akane?" Ukyo pursed her lips, glancing between the two. "Guess we know who's really the _pervert-girl_, huh?"

"Spatula-girl better watch mouth!" growled Shampoo, obviously upset.

"Whatever," Ukyo said dismissively.

* * *

Only ten meters away, Hiroshi looked at the glossy color print of an enraged and naked Marller taped inside the cover of his book. He rubbed the picture lightly with his finger and smiled, before snapping the book shut. He was not unaware that many of his male classmates were similarly preoccupied with pictures they had paid Hiroshi and Daisuke for. This had made them some nice seed money. Now he and Daisuke could start their dream project rolling. His laughter was reminiscent of Blue Thunder Kuno at his worst.

In his office, the Principle looked at a similar picture, his hands shaking slightly. He wiped sweat from his forehead, and ignored the fact that he had dislodged his beloved palm tree. At the university, there was a sudden rash of complaints from female students of being pinched or otherwise harassed. Fights broke out over trivial things. Vandalism was becoming a problem. The same was also true at fifteen other centers of learning and several businesses; all of which received shipments of Marller's photo.

* * *

Barry was hot and bothered by the time he got them all to class and that bothered him more than anything else that had happened this day. Three times he had been distracted… _really_ distracted, by that musky scent he had noticed since Ranma left. Until recently, he assumed it was some perfume the girls around here wore. Since Amazon month began and he was placed in close proximity with a large number of girls, he began to suspect otherwise. Several of the girls who really regretted putting their names in for dates had this peculiarly attractive scent. He doubted they would try to attract him when they were obviously afraid of him. 

The alternative had to do with cats and the Nekoken. With neko on full-time, some of Ranma's senses were heightened; in particular the senses of taste and smell. Also, at the lake, Ranma had gone neko during a fertile period of his female form and acted like a cat in heat calling for a mate. Barry already considered that a potential problem for Ranma, but Ranma hadn't wanted to talk about it. The young man simply dismissed it as something he couldn't control. But they hadn't considered the other angle — tomcats don't have a cycle where sexual interest is at a peak. Tomcats are dependent only on the presence a receptive female. The 'perfume' he had found attractive might be detectable only due to his neko-boosted senses. It just might be letting the 'tomcat' in Ranma recognize which females were in season. When Ranma got back there could be hell to pay if he went cat and took off after the first fertile female that he encountered. A very public rape of anyone, fiancée or not, would land him in an asylum or worse. Barry doubted that protests of Nekoken-induced insanity would be well received by the authorities.

He wondered why the scent was so effective just now. He noticed it before, but it had been interesting, not demanding. But _now_—!

Hinako was in a bad mood this morning. As she sat demurely on the corner of her desk, she scowled impartially at everyone and flipped a coin in a manner that suggested delinquents would be welcomed… _eagerly_! Everyone was uneasy, waiting for something to happen. Boys glanced at girls with bright intense eyes. Girls glanced at guys with an odd, almost reciprocal intensity that made Barry's short hairs prickle.

Barry glanced covertly around the room. If he was right about the scent, then neither Shampoo nor Akane were, uh… fertile. Ukyo was, however, as was Yuka, a few seats over. It was not a sweat inducing, heart-pounding drag on his consciousness, but the awareness was an itch, one that he dare not scratch. Damn! Was he ever glad he didn't go neko like Ranma! He would have to warn Akane about his theory. But was that a good idea? Akane seemed to be much better these days, and he didn't mind getting hit during her occasional misunderstandings when she didn't think things through. This however was a direct threat to any relationship. He didn't think Akane would go for the idea of a fiancé who might go on the prowl with a vengeance simply because he encountered a cat at the wrong moment. It was just possible that Shampoo might try to use this to her advantage once Ranma was back and the truce was over.

He felt like pulling out his hair in frustration!

"Mr. Saotome?" Hinako's voice cut through his musings.

"Um, yes?" There were some snickers, he half-turned then caught sight of himself reflected in the windows. His hair was doing a reasonable impression of Goku's from Ranma's favorite manga. Quickly he patted it down and smiled a bit shamefacedly at Hinako.

"That's better, Mr. Saotome, but what about the assignment?"

"Assignment?" Barry blinked then remembered, 'Oh, that assignment!' He dug through his book bag to no avail. "Ummm… A Phoenix Mountain Bird man ate it?" he offered lamely. The look on Hinako's face was unique. "Uh, ha-ha! Make that a yakuza shinobi wannabe," he tried. He gulped as he saw her catch her fifty-yen coin between her fingers. "Just kidding!" he yelped. He dug frantically through his book bag yet again. "I did it! I _know_ I did it!" he muttered.

"You were working with Mio," Akane reminded him. "She has the same assignment in Miss Hinako's sixth period class."

"You think Mio has it?" Barry groaned, "Go ahead, Miss H, I don't have it."

"Happo-go-en-satsu!"

He slumped to his desk, confident at least, that he could recover faster than anyone here. After yesterday's hysteria, a nap would be almost nice. He let his head turn toward the window as it bounced lightly off the desk surface, and thought it funny that it was raining on his desk while it was sunny outside… Raining? Dimly, he heard Miss Hinako ki-drain someone, probably the idiot who squirted her with water. She dreamily watched the clouds for a moment then turned her attention to the students on that side of the room.

As her eyes flickered across the girls, she noted that scent-wise, in girl-form, that musky perfume was there, but did not attract her. It was a relief to get away from the nagging chemical call. She watched the expressions of some of the boys. Hiroshi was looking at her, as were Kogara and Asaka. In her almost dreamlike state, she could appreciate how much Hiroshi had improved physically the past month. He and Daisuke had almost worked up to the requisite number of laps she set for them. She'd have to start thinking of something else physical to do, something stamina building. Hmmm… She wondered why her lips were dry. She painfully turned her head when something jabbed her in the ribs. Akane was looking at her crossly.

"What do you think you're doing, baka?" she whispered.

"Hmmm?" Barry examined Akane critically. She had a very strong, reassuring presence. "Wa—?"

"You…you're growling, or… something," Akane whispered by way of explanation. "Stop it before Hinako decides to drain you again!"

"Can't pump a dry hole," Barry muttered. She winced and rubbed her thighs together slightly. What an… unfortunate choice of words, especially _this_ time of the month. "Maybe I should rephrase that," she muttered. Barry decided it was safer to look at Akane at the moment. She just hoped she didn't start yowling. No matter what she thought, Barry had to warn Akane, she decided, maybe at lunch.

At lunch, Mio was noticeable by her absence. Akane, Shampoo and Ukyo sat in a circle with their lunches and ate quietly.

"Hyena-girl act strange, lately. I miss her." Shampoo offered. She chewed quietly for a moment. "Maybe something wrong?"

"Why don't we pay her a visit?" suggested Ukyo.

Barry grimaced. "I can't go. If Sasuke's forgotten to disarm the traps again, my _date_ will be history."

"I think this one likes Phys Ed," Akane mentioned in a hostile tone.

"Not another groupie," moaned Barry. "I hate this." He rested the heels of his hands against his temples. Just before lunch, Hiroshi showed him the edited pictures of Marller and let him know how much money they were making. He was starting to talk about a pet project this would fund when the girls dragged him away.

Ukyo shifted and leaned over to put another 'yaki before him. He jerked as the breeze brought her warmth and scent tickling across his senses. "Is there something wrong?" demanded Akane. "You've been acting weird all day."

"Nothing some nose plugs wouldn't help," he muttered.

"Well, excuse me!" snapped Ukyo. "I'm sorry I offend!"

"That's _not_ the problem!" retorted Barry. "I'm… Hell! I can't _say_ what the problem is!" He flushed, embarrassed.

Shampoo shook her head and ate some more curry chicken. "Everyone acting very strange," she commented.

"Look who's talking, cat-girl," snorted Ukyo. "You know I think you're the only person who ever pinched Akane's butt that wasn't a hospital case ten seconds later."

"Can we stop talking about that?" muttered Akane darkly.

"Why you talk so much about butt-pinching?" Shampoo asked in a flat tone. "You want pinch Akane's butt? Maybe you want Shampoo pinch spatula-girl's butt?"

"_Children!" _The girls, who had risen to their knees, subsided and looked sheepish. Barry sighed. "Urudu's on duty at least. She'll ask before zapping us." He looked thoughtfully at the girls, who avoided each other's gaze. "By the way, and I'm sorry I didn't ask about this at another time, but…" He gathered his courage. The way things were going this was a very bad time. "You girls were having some big discussion the other day when my _date_ dragged me off. I asked Ryoga to referee, since you, Shampoo, were talking about obstacles." Shampoo looked down and nodded. The others indicated they knew what he was talking about. "He nearly got lost. The only thing he heard was Akane saying to you, Shampoo," Barry quickly looked around lowered his voice and continued, "um… 'I love you'." He leaned back. "What was that all about?"

"You mean especially because of this morning?" Akane asked, eyes narrowing. "Barry no baka!" She didn't hit him, but he felt as if it was only a momentary respite.

"I didn't mean anything perverted."

"Actually," Ukyo broke in, "I believe you. You've been nothing like I expected." She smiled and then spontaneously gave him a hug. "I believe you when you say you're trying to get Ranma back." She released him and blushed, sitting back as she heard the popping sounds normally associated with tendons and ligaments moving over bone, a sure danger sign around Akane. But, Akane wasn't doing it. Barry was.

He stood up suddenly and walked away with a strangled, "Excuse me!" trailing behind and eyes burning holes in his back.

"I _do_ smell, don't I?" Ukyo almost wailed.

Akane, who was closest, shook her head. "Ukyo, it's not that." She thought a moment and surprisingly came up with a partially right answer. She sighed. "He told me a while back that you really remind him of his wife. He's been married ten years, and now he's… controlled himself for the last four months."

Shampoo giggled. "So Ukyo make nice-nice talk, hug Barry-baka…"

"You mean he was coming on to me?" Ukyo was aghast.

"Maybe he want find out if Ukyo's butt like wife's?"

"No," Akane struggled to hide a smile. "He left so he _wouldn't_ come on to you." Her smile dropped. "And Ranma has been living for the last three months with Barry's wife, who is Barry's best friend." There was, again, the popping sound and added to it, the grinding of teeth as three girls contemplated Ranma having _carte blanche_ with a married woman.

Their thoughts came to an abrupt interruption.

"Akane, my virtuous tigress! I have come to save you from the black hearted sorcerer, who hath thee in thrall by his dark arts!" (GLOMP!)

Kuno had been so _good_ of late. He hadn't made a pass, hadn't spouted poetry, hadn't made stupid windy accusations. That, Akane rationalized, was why he had actually managed to grab her. Of course it wasn't because of the embarrassing conversation that had wound back to butt-pinching again. (Thump! Ka-_POW!_ _Whee-_ee-ee-ee…) "That was a bad time to have a relapse, sempai!" Akane yelled, as her leg dropped back to the ground from an inspired kick.

* * *

Barry strode purposely away while he still could. If only he didn't have this damned acute sense of smell, he could manage! Oh, he could restrain himself from doing anything foolish, but the tempo of his reactions was so obviously off, a person in sensory deprivation would notice. He wondered why _now_…then nodded. Mio had promised today would be war, and this must be the start of it. 

He considered Mio and her cards. For her to be so accurate, Cologne would have said she had to make at least a subconscious link to the other side, the realms of kami and onin, who were not limited by time. In discussions with Cologne, he had been given to understand that this alternate reality was as varied as their own, perhaps more so, with similar proportions of intelligent and unintelligent creatures, all of who were classed technically as tamashii. In that realm, creatures were rarely destroyed or killed. Depredations resulted in the reduction of one spirit to the benefit of the other. An analogy might be if a tiger, bringing down a goat, ate and when it was done; the remains became a fly or a rat or snake. The danger was that humans created extensions into that world. And for some reason, humans were very, very desirable due to the intensity and variety of their emotions. Creatures like Beldandy and Urd were willing to simply inspire and bask in these emotions, especially emotions of love, friendship, teamwork and joy. Marller, on the other hand, was organized to enjoy the other emotions, fear, pain, betrayal. Yet they stepped back and maintained a sort of 'hands off' attitude he didn't understand. Then there were creatures like the gaki-onin and the Nidhugg worm that literally ate away the spirit. Unfortunately, humans didn't simply degenerate into a lower form when they were victimized by a spiritual predator. They died.

Mio, if she was detected, or if her 'host' was attacked, or became aware and decided to attack her…

He wondered about that, concentrated on the subject to clear his mind of the chemical scent and unwanted feelings of desire. They hadn't gone into studying spiritualism much, but if ghosts were kami or onin, well, tamashii by any other name, who used their time-stream abilities to reflect a personality of a deceased person, it would explain a séance's need for a control or guardian spirit, as well as explain the Old Testament injunction against witches, referring to the witch of Endor and her ability to call forth the spirit of a dead Hebrew prophet for King Saul. The caller created a link between the worlds.

Suddenly his senses were flooded with that scent and a pair of arms clenched around his neck, pressing two warm mounds firmly to his chest. A leg reached behind his knee, as he froze in shock, tripping him back to land him on the ground, while drawing him closer. The sharp impact pushed the air out of his lungs, then a tornado of black rose petals swirled about as he sank into darkness. Faintly he heard, "OoHOHOHOhohohoho, ho! You're mine, at last, my Ranma-sama."

* * *

He came to slowly, drugged, numb and wrapped in chains. His arms were tied behind him; elbows pulled tight, lower arm taped liberally to lower arm, forcing his hands and the potential of release through _neko_-claws away from his body. A pole of some kind finished the job, fastened against his arms and his hands taped palm out against the pole to limit the wrists' rotation. His ankles were shackled to two concrete blocks and he was…

…on the diving board of the Furinkan swimming pool? What the hell was going on?

He tuned in to his ki-vision, or tried. It was extremely difficult. He could barely make out two forms standing near him, one obviously Kodachi, ki as weirdly twisted as when he came to this world. The other… Sasuke? It was hard to tell. Something moved and he became aware of a third figure, but it was very difficult to see, having a texture and quality similar to the area by the docks or the warehouse in Yokohama but amplified, until trying to observe it was giving his ki-vision blind spots. With a start, he realized that she was the reason he was having difficulty identifying Sasuke. She had done something to him.

Kodachi noticed the jerk. "Are we awake, darling?" she cooed.

"Oh, man!" Barry looked her over again and his heart sank. "Oh, Kodachi!" He felt like crying.

She stiffened and her hand went to her face, touching her own cheeks as if she expected to feel his tears there. Then her hand dropped gracefully, artfully, and the Black Rose was back again. "This time, I'll have you forever and ever, my Ranma-sama," she sighed. Barry forced himself to turn his vision toward the third and most dangerous person there.

Marller stood, hands on hips, gazing at him dispassionately, as if he were an interesting bug she was trying to decide how to pin to a board. Her physical appearance was European, a look similar to Marlene Dietrich, and her mode of dress was much more subdued today, a loose violet blouse and stirrup pants of a soft green fabric vanishing into calf-high, stiletto-heel boots. He smirked.

Happosai does tend to make you more cautious, doesn't he? he jibed in English.

Marller scowled. "Fool me once…" she said in the same language.

"Good credo." He watched her shudder, and remembered the root words of 'good' and 'credo'. "Bless you!" he added cheerfully.

She laughed at him. "Using words like that as a weapon for selfish means negates their effect," she gloated. She strutted, her boots clicking on the concrete.

"But Beldandy told me she cared for you."

"_Shut up_!" Marller held her hands over her ears for a moment, and straightened. She pulled out a roll of tape and ripped off a strip about twenty centimeters long.

"You're really popular with the Furinkan boys right now," Barry said quickly, trying to delay whatever they were up to.

Marller stopped, her brows rising quizzically. "How so?"

"Let's just say your image is very popular around the school right now."

She blinked, frowned then her eyes went wide in understanding. "Those boys…"

"Yup! Hiro called the picture 'Bad Biker Babe'… Mmmrhp!"

Marller slapped the tape on. She stood up and grinned at him. She began to laugh. Barry shuddered. There was an almost familial resemblance of that laugh to Kodachi's. The Black Rose began to laugh with Marller. Birds burst out of the trees in panic, small animals scurried away in horror, dogs and cats, going about their business in range of that laughter, cowered and hid. Sasuke stood calm and impassive as a post.

* * *

"I just don't understand why my teasing bugs you so much, Shampoo," Ukyo said as they quartered the neighborhood, searching for some sign of Barry. "So you pinched Akane's butt…" 

"Will everyone leave my butt alone?" growled Akane.

"I will protect thy perfect derriere, my love—_Ooof_!" Kuno finished his comment with a guttural cry caused by Akane's well-directed punch. They loped on.

"Jerk!" Shampoo and Akane muttered in unison. Ukyo laughed.

"If it bugs you so much," the chef said slyly, "just let her pinch you back!"

"Ukyo!" Shampoo snapped. Akane sighed and shook her head. Shampoo looked uncertainly at Akane and suddenly doubtful. "Akane, should I…"

"_No_!" bellowed Akane, "I don't _want_ to pinch _your_ butt!" They suddenly looked around. About fifty people were staring at them with various expressions of interest. Ukyo rocked with silent laughter as the other two girls went red and stared at their shoes. Embarrassed, they left quickly, Ukyo whooping along behind them.

After about five minutes, Shampoo asked in a small defensive voice, "Is something wrong with Shampoo's butt?"

"_Will everyone stop talking about butts_?" Akane covered her ears, face flaming. She was utterly mortified and for some reason this conversation just wouldn't go away! She was beginning to wonder if those stupid porno movies the Amazons had used for foreign-husband-hunter training hadn't rotted certain areas of Shampoo's brain. It didn't help that she was, perhaps, slightly curious as to exactly what went on in them.

"Better say arse?" Shampoo piped in.

"_Aaugh_!"

* * *

Barry looked down at the steaming surface of the swimming pool. He still didn't know what was going on, but had the impression it involved dumping him in the pool. To say he was unhappy was an understatement. He wondered how the demon managed to convince Kodachi, even at her looniest, that drowning him would catch Ranma for her. Unable to speak because of the tape, he waggled his eyebrows desperately. 

"Oh, Ranma," Kodachi gushed. "Perhaps you wonder how drowning you will bring us together, my darling?" He nod-nodded. If she were talking, he wasn't drowning.

"It's simplicity itself! I have learned how to make a true Jusenkyo spring!" Barry stared. "Because of your unique problem with being already cursed, I've been forced to make a 'Hot Pool of the Drowned Ranma'," Kodachi said brightly. "Soon Sasuke will sacrifice himself, so that you and I can be together the rest of our lives!"

"To be strictly accurate," Marller muttered with a smile, "I promised you'd have him the rest of _your_ life, Black Rose."

"Indeed, Mother," Kodachi assented. "The rest of my life! Though what need my darling would have to live after me, I have no idea!"

"Ah oo _illy_ er mofr?" Barry mumbled past the tape. Marller smiled and hugged Kodachi, an action that brought chills up Barry's spine. She shook her head, though, ever so slightly negative. Barry's mind was whirling. If Kodachi had actually managed it, that meant she could make cures for all their Jusenkyo curses! The Ranma he had come to know might try to trick Kodachi out of a cure, but she could never win… His thoughts flashed over a conversation the last time he had seen her.

…"_Just a little project of mine, Shampoo!" Kodachi said brightly. She glanced sidewise at Barry. "Something to help my friends." She smiled then and almost skipped away, leaving some very unsettled people behind her._

"_I wonder what she's up to?" asked Akane. "I mean... Kodachi's nicer these days, but I'm not sure I want involved in her attempts to help me…."_

Barry slumped. To do what she claimed would have taken months, if not years, even for someone as brilliant as Kodachi in Biochemistry. Now, all her work and good intentions was being twisted by this… His eyes blazed into Marller's.

"Oh! How perfect," the demon said. "Now, you understand!" She gestured, and Kodachi obediently cut the rope, dropping him into the depths of the pool.

* * *

"Is everyone here?" Hiroshi stood on the bleachers above the sports field. Beside him was Daisuke, and below them were about forty or fifty boys, mostly seniors and a few graduates from the past year's class. "Sorry!" he added realizing how inane that sounded. "Okay! We will be handing these forms to those who didn't remember to bring theirs." He waved said forms in the air. "We want you to fill them out, _truthfully_, then hold on to them until it's time for your audition. You will line up to the right as you complete your forms, and the auditions will be on a first come…" There were snickers. "…basis. Do you all understand?" There seemed to be a general consensus, so Hiroshi and Daisuke began passing out the forms. An errant breeze blew a couple away, but that didn't matter. There were plenty to go around. A few latecomers did show up, and hearing the directions second-hand, got their own forms and began lining up. 

"All right!" Hiroshi began. "Dai? Take notes!" He handed Daisuke the first young man's form.

"Why do I have to take notes?" whined Daisuke. "You have better calligraphy."

Hiroshi considered. "All right." He took the form and sat down. "I'll take notes, you confirm the measurements." He handed Dai a tailor's tape measure.

Daisuke blinked, took the tape, then looked at the form again. "_All_ the measurements?" he asked a little dangerously.

"Of course," Hiroshi said in a businesslike manner. "How else are we going to determine who's falsified their information?"

"Excuse me, but I am _not_ touching another guy's… thing."

* * *

The girls settled down to a semi-serious search. They all remembered Mio's predictions and in particular, looked for hordes of gathering ninja, Monster Taro (he hadn't been seen in a while), Happosai, any of the crowd from yesterday coming back, large groups of semi-naked women or men running furiously down the street in pursuit of or being chased by a pig-tailed boy or girl, dragons, abominable snowmen, 17th century samurai, aliens clad in tiger striped bikinis… but so far everything seemed normal. They were beginning to get very nervous. 

And Shampoo and Ukyo were spending some of the time teasing Akane, who suffered from a severe lack of humor due in part from severe Amazon envy.

"So… Now that you've had the opportunity of first-hand experience, Shampoo, whose butt is better?" Ukyo drawled, watching Akane stomp on ahead of them.

"Which?" Shampoo thought a moment. "Shampoo like Ranma's butt better." She paused a moment, then added, "Boy-type, of course." They watched Akane's shoulders begin to relax. "Ranma girl-type butt not bad, but Akane's is bigger."

"What did you say?" Akane turned on them and all three stopped. She stomped over and screamed at them. "I can't believe you said that! Why are you picking on me?"

"But it's fun to pick on you, Akane," Ukyo said levelly. "You get so bent out of shape, it makes it worthwhile.

"It like martial arts, Akane," Shampoo said. "Make opponent angry; opponent lose. Akane need work on controlling temper, yes?"

Akane sputtered, then subsided. She measured them both with a steely gaze. "All right. I admit you have a point; I shouldn't take things so seriously." She took a deep breath. "But you two — three if you count Kodachi — have always been the cute fiancées, or the pretty fiancées, while I've been labeled the _lesbian _fiancée." Shampoo and Ukyo lost their smiles. "It was especially galling since every boy at Furinkan was chasing me up till then."

"I sorry, Akane," Shampoo said. "Amazon sister tease all time like this."

"Me too, Akane," Ukyo added. "I guess I lost my sense of feminine modesty going to boy's schools all those years." She looked at the ground. "Ya know I don't socialize much with working Ucchan's. I guess I stepped over the line there."

Akane nodded and stepped up to them. Very briefly, they went into a group hug of mutual apology.

"Everything okay, now?" Shampoo asked as they broke from the hug.

"Almost," Akane said nodding. She looked quickly around.

"Almost?" Ukyo asked. "What's— wo_oOP_!"

"_Yeek_!" exclaimed Shampoo. Both girls twisted in midair and landed about three meters away, rubbing abused posteriors.

"Now, it's okay," said Akane smiling.

"But I didn't pinch anybody's butt!" Ukyo complained.

"No, but _you _instigated, " Akane replied primly.

"She mean," Shampoo injected, "you want get your pinch in, must move faster."

"Close enough," Akane confirmed, "And by the way, Shampoo, your butt is just fine." In the sudden silence she turned and walked back toward Furinkan. Over her shoulder she called back, "Let's get a move on! Mio said it was going to be bad today."

Ukyo rubbed her butt and grumbled, "I can't believe Akane pinched my butt! I'm gonna have bruises!"

Shampoo snorted. "Who you show them to?" Ukyo froze then nodded sheepishly. "Me? I go home to Nekohanten, Mousse use _ki_-vision all time now. Then _he_ want know who pinch Shampoo's butt!"

"Oh, brother!"

"Will you guys get a move on?" yelled Akane from up ahead.

"We're coming!" Ukyo bellowed back. Then, as they ran to catch up, she asked Shampoo, "So what will he do when you tell him Akane pinched you?"

Shampoo shrugged easily. "Who knows? Probably think about it, get nose bleed and pass out!"

As Ukyo coughed in reaction, Shampoo called out to Akane, "Pervert-girl, which butt better? Shampoo, Ranma… or _Ukyo_?"

"Shampoo!" whined Ukyo and the teasing switched to a new victim.

* * *

They ran into Kuno again, not far from the athletic field.

"His mad attempts to separate us have come to naught!" the kendoist pontificated. "Come to me, my love! Urf!" His last remark came from Akane's foot planted firmly in his face. "That didn't hurt," he mumbled.

"Baka!" Akane growled. "What's wrong with you? You haven't acted this way in weeks."

"Indeed?" Have I then neglected my duties as the protector of all things beautiful and innocent within the boundaries of Nerima?" The back of his hand came up dramatically to shade his eyes. "Surely, fair flower of the Tendos, if I did, must it surely have been due to a spell the evil Saotome cast, blasting my consciousness and sending me…"

"Put a sock in it, baka!" Ukyo growled then shook her head. "We don't have time for this." They moved to go around him. He intercepted them, whipped out his bokken and posed dramatically.

"Nay! Let it not be said that I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder, champion kendoist of Furinkan and rising star of the athletic world, would let such fair flowers pass without protection, for methinks from thy stern bearing and beauteous yet serious expressions, that surely thou art in chivalrous pursuit of a quest. So long as I posses my keen eyes…"

At that moment, a piece of paper carried on the breeze smacked the ranting maniac in the face. He paused, as the bit of pulped cloth and wood temporarily blinded the eyes about which he was ranting. At his frown, the three girls peeked at the paper.

_**Audition Today!**_

Where: the Furinkan Sports Arena

When: 4:30 P.M.

Purpose: To search for dynamic, athletic and durable men to costar in proposed film **_Vixen of Furinkan_** in the proud tradition of _Vixen of Kyoto_. Proposed film will feature Ranma Saotome, Akane Tendo and Xian Pu of the Joketsuzoku. Only exceptional men will be considered. Come prepared to offer physical data, as well as past experience and references, if available.

Below was a tiny anatomically correct picture of a man, with dotted lines corresponding to numbers. Along the side of the page, the numbers matched up to labeled lines for physical measurements: Chest, bicep, waist, thigh, calf, …

"They want measurements for _what_!" yelped Akane.

Kuno, suddenly realizing she was reading over his shoulder, crumpled the page violently, his hands trembling. "Akane, for a fair flower such as yourself, surely it would shock you beyond all sensibilities…"

"Shut up, Kuno!" Akane growled. "That piece of paper had my name on it!" She ripped it from his hand.

"Oh, Akane," he cried. "To think thou wouldst perform on such a stage without me! And with that foulest of creatures!" As he ranted on, the girls took a better look at the paper.

"Dynamic, athletic and durable men," read Ukyo.

"In the proud tradition of _Vixen of Kyoto_," read Akane.

"Will feature Ranma, Akane and Shampoo," summarized the Amazon. "Shampoo no remember say yes to movie." She did a double take. "Aiya! _Vixen of Kyoto_ is very perverted film!"

"That one from your training?" Ukyo gasped, suddenly piecing it together. Shampoo nodded.

Akane looked appalled. She glanced savagely at her watch and growled, "It's going on right now! Barry is going to have to wait! We can't let this go."

"Wait, Akane!" Shampoo had a nasty smile on her face. She turned to Kuno. "Stick-boy, you listen close! Pervert-boys no get permission to say Akane or Shampoo in film. They just bad and want romp! Also, Ranma on paper not Ranma-sorcerer! Is Ranma, pigtailed girl! Boys steal _both_ pigtailed girl and Akane from Blue Thunder! Not even invite you for tryout! What you say?"

Kuno purpled. He gaped and waved his bokken erratically. He stammered. Finally regaining his tongue, he bellowed, "Surely, such evil shall not be! They shall _not_ prevail! My loves will yet be mine with which to demonstrate my manly prowess!" He rushed off in the direction of the playing field.

"There," Shampoo said smugly. "Stick-boy beat on other pervert-boys while we look for Ranma! Is too-too easy! Yes?"

Ukyo looked distressed. "I know it sounds stupid but…" She fought with herself. "Why wasn't _my_ name on the list with Ranma-honey?"

"I'm sure if you ask, they'll give you a tryout, Ukyo!" Akane drawled sarcastically. Suddenly she froze. "Oh, my _god_!"

"What is it, sugar?" Ukyo was surprised by her sudden change of tone.

"This is it!" exclaimed Akane. "We almost missed it!"

"What?" Shampoo asked.

"Mio's full scale war!" She pointed after Kuno. "It's that way! It's gotta be!"

"Well, then…" Ukyo began, filling her lungs for the shout and reaching for her mega-spatula.

"_CHARGE_!" three feminine voices screamed out as they tore off after Kuno.

* * *

Barry hit the bottom of the pool with a dull thud. He was still too drugged to use his ki. Faintly, through the water, he could hear them up there. 

"How long before we pull him out, mother?" Kodachi asked.

"Not yet, dear," the demon said smoothly. "Besides, we forgot to put the rope on him. I'm sure Sasuke can retrieve him once he jumps in."

Barry felt his heart pounding. A buzzing filled his ears. A tightness in his chest suggested that his air was almost gone, as the carbon dioxide demanded he exhale and seek a fresh supply. But there was none and his vision was beginning to blur and…


	50. Ranmaichuan

**Guest Ki: Chapter 49**

_**Ranma-iichuan**_

The girls pounded after Kuno, their superior training and purpose allowing them to overtake him as the sports field came into view. They didn't see Barry anywhere, but the wolf whistles and the catcalls fueled their fury.

"It's Sham-POO-oo!" groaned a couple.

"Akane, will you measure me?" asked someone.

"You idiot, Dai!" came Hiroshi's voice. "How could you? You forgot to put Ukyo's name on the flyer!"

For some reason, that made Ukyo feel better. She still ripped into them along with Akane and Shampoo; she covered the left flank of their charge, while Akane and Shampoo formed a team against the center of the line. Kuno followed on Akane's right, his bokken dealt punishing blows against all opposition. Young men sailed into the air in a wave as they plowed into the line, four premiere martial artists against fifty lesser foes. Bonbori and mega-spatula sent perverted young men into the sky, along the ground, into the ground…

This cattle call never had a chance. Hiroshi and Daisuke, seeing which way the wind blew, led the way. Soon fifty lusty bruised perverted boys were in a panicky retreat around the side of the school, three apparently bloodthirsty girls and one enraged kendoist in hot pursuit. The girls kept looking around for Barry. If Akane was right, he should be nearby.

"Hey!" shouted Ukyo. "Isn't that Kodachi by the pool?"

* * *

Marller laughed in satisfaction as a big bubble of air burbled to the surface of the hot water. "I think it's ready, now," she commented. "Sasuke?" 

"Oh, yes, Sasuke!" Kodachi danced in place. "I will cherish you forever!" She danced some more waiting for Sasuke to jump in then added, "Oh! And do pull Ranma from the pool once you're in?"

With a blank look on his face, Sasuke took one step toward the pool, then whirled and grasped Kodachi by the upper arms.

"Sasuke! What is the meaning of this?" Kodachi screamed.

"I never said Sasuke would become Ranma for you," Marller gloated at Kodachi. "I said, 'you would have him to do your will, the rest of your life'!" She laughed at the horrified girl. "And by the way, I'm not your mother, sweet cheeks!" She gestured as Kodachi, all masks torn away, saw her fate.

"_NO-o-o-o-o_! (SPLOSH!)

Marller nodded with satisfaction. A job well done! Ranma drowned at the hand of his patient. His patient, fully aware of what she had done, cursed to face her deed every time hot water touched her skin. Now for a few finishing flourishes, and she could go over and laugh at those stupid, insipid goddesses who simpered on about love and joy and happiness… "Sasuke?" she hummed.

"Yes, mistress?" Sasuke eyes were almost devoid of intelligence. Beyond him, a Ranma look-alike sputtered to the pool surface and stared at his hands then patted his chest as if looking for a wallet… or breasts.

"Why don't you wake up now?"

Sasuke staggered and dropped to one knee. "What? What?" he stammered. He stared at Marller and then whipped around to look out at the coughing hysterical figure in the pool. "NO-o-o-o-o-o! I'll save you, Mistress Kodachi!" He leaped in.

"Oh well," Marller laughed. "His choice, after all."

Then the crowd of panicky perverts arrived. As they pushed and shoved, they caught Marller up in their midst. Several quickly recognized her and began calling out "Biker Babe! Whoo-hoo!" in recognition. Some were copping feels. All reacted as if they had hit a bottleneck, piling up around the startled demon and causing her to panic at this unexpected conclusion to her ploy. Hiroshi and Daisuke also recognized her, but remembered the energy bolts she blasted at Happosai. Unsure what else to do, they moved along the edge of the pool to stare at a serious, apologetic boy-type Ranma, trying to drag an hysterical and crying boy-type Ranma out of the pool.

"You know… this means something, Dai," Hiroshi said philosophically.

"Yeah! Since when did Ranma get hit with water and not change? Oh, yeah! Someone's heated the pool. Hey, if one of those two is Ranma, then who's that at the bottom of the pool?"

The girls and Kuno hit then, powering into the mass at the side of the pool and driving the ranks closest to the edge into the water. Hiro and Dai's eyebrows went up as multiple 'Ranmas' appeared. "Hey, cool! Spring of the drowned Ranma!" Daisuke said. They blinked.

"That must be Ranma down there!" they chorused. By common consent they dove in, and headed for the bottom.

* * *

Marller had been in the front rank. He cursed, in thirty different languages, her condition and the numerous other Ranmas who were beginning to discover their new circumstances. With great difficulty, he summoned his power and began to rise from the pool. What the hell had gone wrong with her plan? She trembled in horror. Had she cut the link in time? She might be… Gaahh! Half-Human - maybe forever! She had to find cold water! 

Marller glared at where Sasuke was pulling Kodachi out of the pool and trying to calm him. A black rose appliquéd leotard looked ludicrous on the muscular martial artist. His own feet were sorely pinched by his own boots, which were now three or four sizes too small. Another body plunged into the pool carrying Marller under water again. This was getting ridiculous! The demon floundered for the side of the pool. It was definitely well past time to escape.

* * *

Shampoo and Akane were suddenly confronted by a wet, smirking Ranma. 

"Oh, we find you!" exclaimed Shampoo. Akane stared at the Furinkan uniform, at least two sizes too small for their muscular fiancé. Something wasn't right.

"Hi-yah!" He cut loose with a fast, wicked crescent kick. Akane ducked, but Shampoo was hit in the shoulder and sent skidding across the concrete. Akane blocked several fast combinations as the other martial artist went on the attack, gloating and confident. Her attacker did not use Ranma's normal combinations, but seemed more based on the pure form of karate. Guessing, she offered an opening that Ranma would typically take advantage of using a series of grappling moves, and watched him frown and hesitate, as he seemed to fight with himself over the proper course of action. She took advantage of the hesitation with a combination blow that sent him crashing through the wall of the school. Other attackers were closing in.

She turned and focused on the closest. "Ranma?" Three 'Ranmas' closed on her. Her only advantage was the bumping they did on the way in, revealing their lack of coordination with one another. She powered up her shields and stepped back two paces as their combined masses struck the barrier. Unlike Barry, they didn't seem to know how to deal with the technique. It wasn't a perfect solution. She hadn't learned to spin her shield into a globe yet, and if they got inventive…

She glanced quickly around for some alcove or narrow space to maximize her defense. More 'Ranmas' were running toward her, their cries weirdly reminiscent of the crowd that used to attack her at Furinkan's gates, but now all wearing Ranma's face. Another group of a dozen 'Ranmas' struggled about Shampoo who had lost her bonbori and was now going hand to hand, trying to defend herself from a crowd that seemed to be arguing over first dibs. Ukyo had gotten to the high board, using her spatula and her advantage in height to stave off a half-dozen more that were alternately cursing at her or trying to coax her down. Another bunch were beating the hell out of Kuno. Even as she watched, one of Ukyo's 'Ranmas' got impatient and destroyed the base of the high dive in a fit of pique. The platform twisted as it keeled over and Ukyo fell into the pool. The platform swung and fell toward the group intent on Shampoo. Half the group sprang away from the pool releasing their holds to keep from being smashed. The other group, yanking hard away from their twins, stumbled back and fell into the pool, dragging Shampoo with them.

Akane strained to see what happened to her friends but finally lost patience with these dangerous Ranma wannabes. "Bakusai Tenketsu!" Concrete blasted outward. Her shields, developed in part from that technique, protected her but her attackers went down, groaning or unconscious. Having cleared a space, she ran toward the pool. "Shampoo! Ukyo!" Everywhere she looked were Ranmas. The only major differences seemed to be in dress and hairstyle. None had Ranma's distinctive pigtail, one even had a ribbon like Ukyo's in his hair.

"Oh, no!" she murmured. She could feel the heat rising off the pool. Everything was becoming clear. To the side, one Ranma spoke comfortingly to another wearing a black rose leotard. On the other side of the pool a longhaired Ranma got up after removing his high heeled boots, and leaped over the schoolyard wall. Akane wondered at the diagonal red marks on his face and suspected Ukyo had caught him a few. Not far away, two more Ranmas were dragging a third from the water. This Ranma was cocooned in tape and chain in a very uncomfortable position, his feet tied to blocks of concrete. This one _had_ a pigtail… "Oh, _NO_! _Wuff_!" Two or three bodies tackled Akane as she lost her focus and stood frozen and unaware in horror. As she fell in, all she could think was: "How else do you get a Pool of the Drowned Ranma?"

As she hit the water, she felt a weird buzzing shift. Her clothes didn't fit right; in fact, they pinched painfully down there. But that was minor. She shoved off the bottom of the pool hard enough to break the grip of her attackers and send her porpoising up to nearly fly out of the pool. "Ukyo! Shampoo! _Get over here_!" she screamed. It came out a hoarse male bellow. She patted her chest, and realized the pinch came because she… _he_ had something that hadn't been there before. Akane put his feelings of horror aside and sprang over to where the pigtailed Ranma lay. The other two were trying to pull off the bonds, but even their improved strength couldn't break the chains.

"Out of the way!" Akane sought within. She often watched Barry use the _neko_ techniques, but had been unable to duplicate them. Something Barry couldn't communicate in words or by demonstration always escaped her, just as he couldn't seem to learn her long distance tracking system. But now that she was, in effect, Ranma, he should be able to… "Ah! So _that's_ how it's done!" Ki claws sliced the chain and the remaining tape.

"Roll him over," suggested one of the Ranmas, "We have to force the water out of his lungs!" The two went to work. The volume of water that poured out of him was astonishing.

Akane was almost knocked sprawling by another Ranma, leaping around and sparring. He sent him yipping across the pool with a ki-bolt. Someone he guessed to be Ukyo, dragged a mega-spatula behind him and slumped depressed, beside them. Around them, the chaos and increasing damage was indescribable. "He's still got a heartbeat, " one of Barry's rescuers said. They alternated on mouth-to-mouth while Ukyo and Akane kept off the riff-raff.

Ukyo finally snarled and stalked to where the fire hose connections, used to fill the pool, stuck out of the wall and raised his weapon. A single swipe broke the cap off the pipe and cold water sprayed across the yard. About half the battling Ranma-clones were caught in the burst and reverted to their true forms. They turned and ran at that point, unwilling to face the other Ranmas on uneven terms. The other Ranmas, seeing the jig was up, leaped over the walls unwilling to be changed and brought to justice.

Female once more, Ukyo tried to adjust her torn clothing to attain some level of modesty. As the water pooled and swept across the concrete, the weeping Ranma at the pool's edge changed into Kodachi. As for the Ranma who was comforting her, he changed as he left the swimming pool to become Sasuke. The two Ranma's resuscitating Barry shivered into Hiroshi and Daisuke, while Ranma's body transformed into girl-type.

Akane saw one remaining Ranma with long hair and wearing a girl's uniform so tattered as to be indecent on a female, staggering back and forth, weaving drunkenly over toward their position. He was wailing as badly as Kodachi. As he splashed through the cold water, he slumped, disappearing into his clothes, and the weeping changed to a frantic feline yowl. Akane pushed the damaged girl's uniform aside and extracted a pink-purple cat, which pushed into the comforting circle of her arms and wept disturbingly human cries of anguish. Barry finally began to cough and show signs of reviving. As Barry sat up, Akane fixed Hiroshi and Daisuke with a look that would have frozen a volcano. "You two are coming with us."

* * *

They met at the Tendos. Akane carried the weakly struggling Ranma girl-type, while Ukyo moved along with Shampoo. Hiroshi and Daisuke had jumped back into the pool as the most convenient source of hot water to change back to Ranma so they could leap across the rooftops. They had been dragooned into carrying a badly beaten Kuno. When they arrived, they had immediately called the Nekohanten and Cologne. The Matriarch arrived with Mousse in tow. 

"All right! What were you so secretive about that you had to drag me over here?

"Shampoo refuses to allow us to bring her out of her cat form," said Ukyo.

Cologne didn't reply. She was frozen by the sight of two boy-type Ranmas sitting at the table under Akane's watchful eye, and a girl-type Ranma lying on a mattress a meter away. "Mousse?" she snapped. "Which is the real Ranma? Uh… You know what I mean!"

Mousse took off his glasses and looked. "Any of these three could be Ranma."

"Hey, isn't that the blind guy… _ouch_!" Ukyo elbowed the Ranma who had spoken.

"Cologne!" coughed the girl-type. "Shampoo is…"

"Shut up, Ranma!" Akane ordered. She turned to the old woman. "Honored Elder... this is difficult... I believe the demon Marller somehow turned the Furinken swimming pool into an uncursed Jusenkyo pool."

"A template spring?" Cologne interrupted.

Akane nodded. "We had been warned by Mio that Ranma would face trouble today so we went looking for it." She explained the prediction made by Mio and the search for Barry after he had left them. "These baka were having some ridiculous cattle call for a porno movie they wanted to make. Since they were using our names to advertise…"

"Whose names?" Cologne asked.

"Mine, Shampoo's and Ranma's"

"Why not Ukyo's?"

"That's what I said!" Ukyo blurted.

"I told you," said one Ranma boy-type to the other.

"Never mind that!" Akane snapped. "Since Ranma was involved and Mio's prediction was so dire, we figured it was easier to look for the commotion than to look for Ranma. We realized we had one, so we barreled in. We chased the boys to the swimming pool. We didn't know it then, but Kodachi had just dropped Ranma in, to make it a Ranma-iichuan."

"And the water was hot, wasn't it," Cologne sighed. "I can see where this is going and why great grand-daughter does not wish to be transformed." Her grip on her staff tightened till the wood creaked.

"I don't understand," Mousse said.

"Boy, if they are right, Shampoo is as good as dead to the Amazons."

"What?" Mousse lost his glasses in reaction and they fell to the floor unnoticed. "I…I can't believe that!"

"If she fell into a warm-water Nanniichuan, or Ranma-iichuan, in this case, her woman form is lost forever. Even if she jumped into the Nyanniichuan, or that Togenkyo Island substitute, she would no longer be recognized as Xian Pu!"

"Then I will share her fate!" Mousse wailed.

"Don't be so melodramatic, child!" she croaked. "We have yet to confirm that this is permanent and I must, as a Matriarch of the Joketsuzoku," She turned back to them, "confirm the warrior - Shampoo's condition."

"I suspected it might be something like that. I'm sorry, Cologne," Barry croaked, "But we tried cold and hot water on Kodachi and Sasuke in the dojo. It's permanent for them."

"Perhaps. But we won't really know until we try, hmmm?" Cologne growled. "If there is even a slight chance... Shampoo, come out here!"

Neko-Shampoo slunk out from under the table and crouched at Cologne's feet.

"Granddaughter, is this how a proud Amazon warrior greets an Matriarch of the tribe?" Shampoo flinched, then straightened up. Her eyes rose to meet those of Cologne's and she growled faintly. "That's better. I must confirm your alteration. I make no promises and the law is clear." Akane handed Cologne a kettle. "But before I do this, I want you to know that, regardless of the law, you will always be my beloved granddaughter to me."

"Miahhh!" Shampoo didn't flinch when the hot water rained down. There was a sigh as the cat's form expanded and the fur vanished. When it was over, Shampoo stood before her grandmother as naked as the day she was born. She looked down at herself. Female… She reached back and sought her hair… It was violet, not black. "Am… _me_?" she squeaked. Mousse caught her as she fainted. His robes swirled and suddenly Shampoo's nude form was shrouded in a silk robe that covered her from neck to ankle.

Akane and Ukyo gaped. "Omigod! She's all right? Tell me she's all right!" Akane gasped. She shot over to kneel beside Mousse and Shampoo.

"Why didn't it affect her like it did Kodachi?" Ukyo asked.

"I've got three thousand years of experience, girl." Cologne grinned. "A true Jusenkyo pool requires a wellspring to replace the water. A circulating pool is a closed system. Even specially prepared, there should be too little ki in such a system for more than one or two changes before…"

"It's nothing more than instant Jusenkyo water?" Barry coughed.

"Very good." Cologne nodded. "That's right. Furinkan High School's swimming pool is now several hundred-thousand liters of 'Instant Ranma-iichuan'."

"Shi-it!" breathed the two male Ranmas. They looked at one another and wondered if the guys at the school would… "AAAHHHGH!" Cold water spilled over them returning both to their natural forms. They turned shocked gazes on a sweetly smiling Kasumi who held the bucket.

"You must be happy to be yourselves again," she caroled.

Daisuke grabbed a kettle and upended it over his head to no avail.

"Poor Kodachi," Barry croaked while this went on. "Sasuke said the demon was living at the Kuno's all this time. That explains why Tatewaki went off the wall again. She possessed Sasuke then convinced them she was their mother, somehow. A lovely lady," he added sarcastically.

"And that's why Sasuke refuses to go back to the mansion. He's arranging for a hospital for both the Kunos," sighed Ukyo grimacing. Those two were loaded with good luck amulets and other blessed objects and presently housed in the Tendo dojo. "And there's still a whole bunch of guys running around out there who can convincingly claim to be Ranchan," she added. She looked at Akane who was patting Shampoo's hand. "I guess we can get a few of those air-pressured water-guns." She turned and frowned as Barry rolled weakly off the mattress and reached for a kettle. "_You_ are staying _here_!"

"She's right, you know," Cologne told the redhead. "Now I've got some medicine that will clear up your lungs by tomorrow, nasty stuff, but I don't expect that to bother _you_, Ranma." Cologne obviously was enjoying her discomfort. "You'll take it, or risk coming down with pneumonia!"

"What happened to a 'spoonful of sugar'?" Barry retorted, grasping the kettle and pouring, then slumping male back on the mattress. He looked over at Shampoo as she returned to consciousness. Mousse was showing admirable restraint. He cradled Shampoo as if she was a precious, delicate object, and didn't seem to be trying to cop a feel. Of course he could have felt a lot of things as he was slipping that robe on her.

He couldn't figure out Akane, though. Something had abruptly changed between the girls. Akane had originally been envious to the point of obsession about Shampoo and her 'superior' qualifications. Now, Akane might act like this if she considered the other girl like a sister… or something closer, and they never had answered his question that afternoon! Ranma would be devastated if Akane… Barry gulped. He suddenly had a vision of Ranma, Akane and Shampoo in a three-way…

"Baka, _baka_, _BAKA_!" he chanted, smacking his head. He looked up to see everyone staring at him. He sighed and shooed them with hand gestures.

"Go protect my honor, then," he grumbled. "Akane, I'll bet you can find them by looking for _me_. Try to keep focused on each one till you get him. Keep back if you possibly can. When they hit cold water, you've won. They might react to threat on an instinctive level if you close with them, and probably won't mean to kill you if you get careless." He coughed and hacked painfully then. "Work as a team, no heroics. Try to trick them into cold water; most of those that are left will still think it's permanent." Barry coughed some more then thought of something. "Take anyone you catch to hot water and try changing him back. There may be others with a permanent curse; we'll need to know who."

Akane lost patience with his longwinded list of instructions. "How about I arrange a sling? That way I can carry you around with us in case you've forgotten to tell us something?"

Barry opened his mouth to comment, then broke down into coughing as he realized what he'd been doing. "Sorry," he gasped finally. "Just be careful… all of you!"

* * *

It was a long night. The car that came for the Kunos was checked out by Sasuke _and_ Cologne, festooned with wards and amulets, before he brought his charges out. Tatewaki was conscious but damaged; Kodachi hugged herself and murmured constantly. Barry came out to try to reassure her that Ranma was at least alive, but she didn't even seem to notice him. The only good thing about the attempt was that Tatewaki seemed to recognize him, but did not get aggressive. Barry hoped it wasn't because of being trashed by several dozen Ranmas. 

It was also a long night because of Barry's paranoia. Every hour they were gone had him worrying that they had been ambushed, killed, molested or otherwise injured and in need of help.

The medicine didn't improve his mood. It _was_ horrible. It was administered every hour. And Cologne insisted on doing it herself.

Akane, Shampoo and Ukyo dragged themselves in just as Kasumi was putting breakfast on the table. Kurumi and Natsume were at the Saotome's. Nodoka had taken them home during school on Friday, insisting they had to get ready to start at Furinkan on Monday. Soun was hiding behind his paper, and Nabiki, who had decided to stay till Sunday night, was brushing her teeth while eyeing the Matriarch and Barry thoughtfully. Barry was flat out on the floor, eyes wide and angry, his body stiff. As he saw the girls come in he blinked rapidly.

"What's wrong with him?" Akane asked.

"He's simply relaxing under the influence of a certain herbal remedy that disassociates the aura at the astral level," Cologne explained. "It induces a state of suggestibility if used properly and I suggested he relax. I put it in his medicine, two doses back."

"Why?"

Shampoo laid a hand on Akane's shoulder. "He worry we have too much to handle with Ranma-wannabes. He want come out, save us from fate worse than death." She giggled weakly.

"Oh, is that all!" Akane giggled as well. "Really, baka! Do you have so little faith in us?"

"He won't answer you, little sis," Nabiki said. "And actually, part of it had to do with Chardin. For once in his life, Ranma missed a challenge date. Now, our French gourmet champion wants satisfaction.

"Oh, no!" Akane groaned.

"Oh yes! He was most polite, of course, but now Ranma supposedly owes him…" She pulled out her calculator. "…762,940 yen. Apparently, the stakes were double or nothing."

"Ack!" Shampoo and Akane exclaimed. Then Akane said, "I don't remember them setting any stakes…"

"Picolet does seem to take things on himself," suggested Nabiki.

"That no explain why he (yawn!) no talk to fiancé." Shampoo stretched.

"Let's simply say I didn't approve of a certain party's line of questioning when he was defenseless like this." Cologne eyed Nabiki.

"What was wrong with _my _questions?" Nabiki countered. They glared at one another.

"Why didn't you use this on (yawn!) Ranchan before and just make him do the deed?" Ukyo asked.

"Let's simply say we hadn't worked up to that, yet."

Akane frowned. "You better not work…" She growled then glanced at her father. "We'll talk about _that_, later," she informed the diminutive woman.

Cologne smiled sweetly. "By the way, I meant to tell him earlier, but that Koile fellow… the assassin? My sources suggest that he was employed by a certain Nikkoo Darikamosu. Considering how much assassins of his caliber cost and how few there are, I'd say dear little Nikki is going to be in trouble with his grandfather." She grinned at their smirks. "Why don't you girls get some sleep?" she suggested. "Your sisters are beginning to shape up just fine, Shampoo. We can get by without you today."

"Oh, god," groaned Ukyo, "I gotta get back to Ucchan's! I already missed the Friday night crowd!"

"Mrs. Saotome covered for you on Friday, dear," Cologne told her. "Though I believe she said you were running low on your pre-mixed batter."

"If that's all, I can manage," Ukyo sighed. She turned to the other girls. "When you see me next, if I have burn marks across my face, you'll know what happened."

"Fell asleep on the grill!" Akane and Shampoo chorused.

Ukyo staggered out and Akane and Shampoo staggered upstairs, leaving Cologne, Soun, Kasumi and Nabiki at the table.

"Could you ask him to sit up and eat, Cologne?" asked Kasumi considering the practical aspects of the matter.

"If you're heading back to the Nekohanten, you might want to consider unlocking your, 'listen to me only' command," Nabiki suggested.

"Not while _you're_ around, I won't," Cologne retorted. She turned to Barry. "Boy? Eat up, then go upstairs and get some sleep. Don't listen to Nabiki unless it's about the house burning down or similar disaster. Got it?"

Barry sat up. "Got it!" he assured her. He picked up his chopsticks.

"So, what's it like, being controlled by this stuff, Ranma," Nabiki asked. She blinked and arched an eyebrow as Barry ignored her. "I guess you've blocked that avenue," the middle Tendo said with disgust. "If anybody wants me, I'll be in my room." She rose and stomped off.

"Well, I have to get along to my business, now. Send Shampoo home when she's rested." Cologne rose to her feet, leaned left then right with loud crackling sounds and prepared to leave. "And when you're rested up, boy, give the Temple a call and ask them to join us at the Nekohanten. We've really got to do something about this demon."

* * *

Elsewhere in Nerima, a hand dialed a number. Somewhere on Honshu, another telephone answered. A discussion was held and more calls were made. In a sprawling house set among rolling hills and surrounded by large black cattle, a phone was answered. Another discussion was held. When the phone was replaced on its hooks, Nagasameru Mirotomanya went looking for her father. "Father? It was one of _those_ phone calls." 

"Oh?" Her father looked at a picture on the wall. It showed a strong young man, a woman who was his wife and a baby in their arms. "It's been a long time," he said. He looked at the huge sword where it hung by the family shrine. Sweat poured down his face.

"It's in Nerima," Naga said. "I'm sure I can convince one of my friends to put me up." He shook harder. She hugged him. "Dad, you admit that it's part of our heritage?"

"Yes," he whispered. "If only I hadn't gotten cursed…"

"But you did, and now it's my turn."

The older man sighed and nodded. "I wish you would have at least _tried _to get the Saotome boy. He has a strong presence."

"I like Shinzoo just fine, Daddy," she chided him. "Besides, you would have had panic attacks every time Ranma came near you."

"It's a dangerous line of work," her father said. "Shinzoo is too slow. You'll be a widow before you're a wife, and you don't deserve that."

"The risk of living is dying, Father."

He snorted. "What a stupid philosophy for a demon hunter!" he chided her. "There are alternatives to both that don't bear mentioning!"

* * *

Barry walked up the stairs to the spare room that Ranma and his father had used since they had arrived at the Tendos. As he reached for the doorknob, he paused. Akane and Shampoo had gone up to get some rest. Was she sacked out in Akane's room? Or was Shampoo in this room? He tried to use his ki, but it was still too disorganized for ki-vision. He listened. He couldn't hear anything. 

Sighing, he briefly went over to Akane's door and listened. He heard movement then felt a breeze as the door suddenly opened and he was leaning his ear toward a very surprised Akane. He turned his head and faced her, and the dull look in his eyes was all that saved him from an Akane first-strike. "What… do you think you're doing?" she asked, the calm before the storm. He noticed peripherally, that she was wearing a set of pajamas.

He blinked. "Cologne told me to come up to bed," he said finally.

"Okay. Why are you leaning against my door?" she inquired, a little more of a bite seeping into her voice. Behind her, Shampoo, clad in another pair of Akane's pajamas, stepped into view and curiously eavesdropped.

"I wanted to make sure where Shampoo was," he answered truthfully.

He saw Akane's fist clench. She took a deep breath. "And _why_ did you want to know where Shampoo was?"

Barry considered a moment. The only thing he could gather from Ranma's memories was a conversation where Shampoo had gleefully told him what she slept in. "Because she said she sleeps naked," he muttered. Inside he cringed. He was dead! Dead, dead, dead! Akane's face was going absolutely livid, her aura was cranking up, he saw her mouth open for her battle cry…

"Wait! _Wait!_ He not Ranma!" Shampoo whispered. "He drugged besides! Can't defend himself!" Shampoo grabbed Akane from behind, restraining her and dragging her back out of kicking range as well.

"Okay. G'night!" Barry stumbled away and the girls heard the spare bedroom door open and shut. After a moment, Shampoo released Akane as the other girl's heart rate sank back to reasonable levels.

"I…I…"

"I did say that to Ranma," admitted the Amazon.

"But…"

"He no say he want peep at Shampoo. Just want to know where is. Maybe think Shampoo asleep in Ranma's room?"

"I… That sounds so reasonable." Akane sounded unhappy. "Why do I always do this?" she wailed.

"Akane, why you always say 'I hate boys'?" Shampoo asked her. Akane went white. She quickly controlled herself, but Shampoo saw something.

"It's that stupid Kuno's fault!" Akane grumbled. "When I told him I didn't want to 'date with him', he set every boy in the school to attack me… and they _let_ him!"

"And that all?"

"Yes!" Akane grated. Shampoo looked at her sadly.

"You tell fib, A-ka-ne." Shampoo shook her finger back and forth. "That _not_ all. There something else that hurt you, that make you angry. It not matter you tell Shampoo. Shampoo promise not use when we must fight, but…" Shampoo sat down on Akane's bed and patted the space beside her. "…Long ago, very far away, women who were hurt by men chose to learn to fight like men, that no man ever hurt them again."

"The original Amazons?" Akane asked. "Then Barry was right in his report?"

"Cannot say. Let's say other group of women very like Joketsuzoku, okay? They finally rule many villages around big water, become very powerful. Any woman hurt by man was welcome and no man allowed stay within village boundaries. They not marry. Only invite men come to certain spot on certain day of year. Women who want child challenge men. Best stay for three months. If not cruel and obey laws, make love any woman who want child. Then must go.

"One year, new warriors come to northern village. They dark with black hair, ride horses and very strong. Horsemen fight villagers. They not know they women at first, and nomads steal as often as they barter. Try steal food, valuables, they get beat! Try steal women, they find they make _big_ mistake! When they find out, very confuse because horseman's women not warrior. They never see warrior women before. Horsemen decide they like warrior women. They want strong wives. But warrior women not interested.

"Warrior women surprise when no women come from horsemen, except escaped slaves. They find out women own everything for their husbands, tents, wagons, goods, cattle… Only thing man own are his weapons. Even _slaves _owned by women for men. Very strange.

"Leader of village is young, very strong woman who was once slave to hill bandits. One year on Challenge day, Warrior Chieftain offer challenge to _her_! She very best in village, maybe best of _all_ villages. Everyone think he nuts! She tell him 'I hate men!" Shampoo gave it that peculiar intonation Akane used when she said 'I hate boys!' "I fight you, you lose… you die!'

"So they fought?" Akane asked wincing.

Shampoo nodded. "He win. She tell him she rather die than be raped by man again."

"What did he do?" Akane asked.

"He ask her to wed him in manner of his people. She refuse! Say might as well be rape. She belong no man! She die first! He say…" Akane listened intently. "He ask if warrior women have husband by their custom. If do, he ask if can be husband."

Akane rubbed her eyes. 'Just sleepy', she thought.

"Of course, they no have husbands, not even boy children. Boys given to fathers when born or… killed." Shampoo blinked at the harshness. She shook her head. "So Warrior say to her 'I set you free'. Then he turn and walk away."

Akane gulped. It sounded so much like Ranma's sparring with her. She could easily identify with… A suspicion formed.

"Shampoo, if you're trying to get me to admit I was…" Her voice trembled more than a bit and she couldn't bring herself to say _raped_, "…you're out of luck, and dead wrong. I'm a virgin and will be until I marry."

"Maybe so," Shampoo said easily. "But rape not just sex. Is violence, is helplessness, is fear and pain, and fear of what others think even if not your fault. Even if sex not happen, if bad boys try rape, still can scar, can cause pain."

Akane turned away from Shampoo. Almost indifferently she asked, "What happened to the Warrior and the Amazon."

"They fight five times. Every year, Woman Warrior train get better, to face Horse Warrior next year. Every year, he win. Then other people come, sweep through whole region, kill and enslave as they go. We—! They knew them as the Jako. No one strong enough to fight them, not even six villages of warrior women and the horsemen, who were their allies. Horse Warrior and Woman Warrior lead counterattack, while rest of villages and the horse people can escape. Few who live say they kill leader of Jako, but die in each other's arms." Shampoo was silent for a moment. "They die for their people and their people joined and journeyed to find a new home…"

"In China, near Jusenkyo…" breathed Akane. She stared at Shampoo.

"Maybe," the other said suddenly smiling, if sleepily. "Is good bedtime story, yes?"

"Shampoo!" Akane said, shocked. She hit her with a pillow. "Oooh! _Honestly_!"

Shampoo laughed and took the futon on the floor. "Sleep well, Akane."

"Humph!"

* * *

Nabiki sneaked into the room Barry was in. It felt just like old times. Only this time, she didn't carry a camera; she carried a tape recorder. Ranma's body was face down on the futon. Nabiki had a hunch that in his present state, she just might be able to get some information out of him and now that everyone was asleep, or busy elsewhere, she could finally nail some details down.

"Barry," she whispered. There was no response. She smiled. Cologne had unwittingly played into her hands. All she had to do was tell Barry some fictitious disaster was happening and it should break the conditioning of the 'not listen to Nabiki' command. At the same time, in his suggestible state, she should be able to tell him not to remember her presence, and at least discover his timetable and what his plans were if Ranma didn't make it back. Possibly, she could do more. She leaned forward and whispered urgently in his ear, "Barry, the house is on fire!"

He came to his feet in a rush and looked at her. She smiled and said, "Sit down and relax, Barry, everything is under control."

"Nabiki, what are you doing in here?" The voice had a hint of irritation, but none of the life that either Barry or Ranma put into their delivery. Her smile grew broader.

"Barry, I'm going to ask you some questions," she began. "You will answer them truthfully. I may make some… suggestions. I want you to consider them, but they will seem to be ideas you've come up with, yourself. When I leave, you will go back to sleep and forget I was ever here. Do you understand?"

"Perfectly!" came the response. Nabiki frowned; that hadn't sounded like Barry's voice. "Nabiki, this is a message from Cologne. I know you don't want to hear this, but you're still three hundred years too late to get around me this way. Barlowe-san's privacy in this case will be respected. Please go away and let him get some sleep." It sounded just like Cologne's voice. "I have not manipulated Barlowe-san in any way, on my honor as a Matriarch of the Joketsuzoku, save by his direct and free-willed permission. I owe him that much for how he and Akane fought to protect Shampoo recently."

Nabiki grimaced, then shrugged. She looked away from Barry, then back again. "I suppose that means you're going to remember our little conversation?"

"Yes," he said.

She winced and stood up. "I guess I'll be hearing from you, once you wake up?"

"Yes." He stared at her. "Can I go to sleep, now?"

"Please. I'm sorry to have disturbed you." She left the room and closed the door. She peeked in on Akane and Shampoo, but left them alone. Maybe she should check and see if an early train back to the university was available.

* * *

Barry woke suddenly. Vaguely, he heard feet padding around in the hall. He thought a moment then relaxed. It was Saturday. Cologne had advised him to call the Temple about Marller. He came to his feet and noticed a slightly sour smell about himself. Time for a bath, if it wasn't in use. He attempted to use his ki-vision and was relieved to find that it seemed to work properly. He glanced down toward the bath. It was occupied. Akane and Shampoo were scrubbing off.

He swung his attention to sweep the rest of the house. Soun was by the koi pond; his colors indicated meditation or prayer. If the signs were right, he had been working on his garden this morning. The walk was swept and several plants showed the gentle trauma of pruning. Kasumi was not far from her father, putting out laundry to dry. At the dojo, he was surprised to see Genma, Nodoka and Ranma's sisters. The latter were doing kata under Genma's instruction. He swept the boundaries. In a tree, outside the property was a disruption, a space that seemed to be a blank space that shifted as he watched, but put out no ki. Which was a little strange. Even Happosai's technique put out ki. He decided to keep an eye on it.

Looking back through the house, he found Nabiki in the main room, working on what might be an account ledger. With her computer at school, she had fallen back on old reliable.

It occurred to him then, that if whatever was in the tree was Marller or one of her stooges, that the phones might be bugged. The demon was really an informational genius in some ways. Not too bright in execution, though, for which he was grateful. There had to be some way to contact the goddesses and disrupt Marller's surveillance. The best bet would probably be Skuld. Now, how to contact her…

They had worked out the astral projection only to find that it did nothing to forward their goal of regaining Ranma. Nor was it as easy as it should have been. The few times Barry had experimented had felt like pushing through a forrest of elastic bands.

Still, he wouldn't be at all surprised to find his astral self was visible to the goddesses' senses. But if that were the case, he would be visible and probably vulnerable to Marller in transit to the temple. There had to be an alternate method than traveling the topological distance. He just hadn't managed it yet. He thought back to the studies they had and the techniques he had learned and got a niggling idea.

Ki use bordered on magic, he told himself. One of the basic concepts of magic was similarity. Now, what was something they had at the Temple that was similar to something they had here? Perhaps he could use the one as a guide to bridge to the other. Something, something…

His eyes lit on the small mirror on the dresser in the room. That was it. He remembered clearly that they had several large mirrors at the Temple! If he could get hold of Urd or Beldandy, then he could get Skuld through them! Now… time to sink into a light trance…

Barry drifted toward the mirror. He had passed through it before. That is, his projective form had passed through it like a ghost through a wall, but now he looked on it symbolically as a gateway/equivalence to other mirrors. Especially the big hanging sheet of polished steel Keiichi had hanging in his workshop. It was quite distinctive. Holding that image in mind, he dove in. The result was a little like the Millennium Falcon in Star Wars when it had shot forward into hyperspeed, stars blurring back into stripes and ribbons of light.

* * *

Nagasameru hummed a popular tune as she walked up the street toward the Tendo dojo. Kasumi had been most kind on the phone and seemed to welcome the opportunity to see the 'almost-fiancée' of Ranma's again. Per standard operating procedure, she did not say she was 'hunting demons', but simply that she would be in the neighborhood. One of the keys to her training was to avoid endangering her hosts. Unless they were already targets of the demon, she would only stay long enough to locate her target. Then it would be eliminate, or die trying, and she intended to live, thank you!

As she walked up, her sword began making snarly little sounds to her consciousness. She placed her hand on the hilt. "What is it?" she asked sub-vocally. The sword tugged at her, as eager as an attack dog on its chain and about as intelligent. She merged with its senses. The world went into shades of rainbow. She had been warned it would be this way when she used the sword in the presence of the supernatural. Everything was semi-transparent, and seemed so very much more alive. Ahead of her in a tree, a patch of darkness shifted and murmured to itself.

"I can't believe it!" a voice snarled. "That damn bunch of pathetic little perverts!" The darkness shifted. "You'd think they'd just content themselves with sordid little orgies, but _no-o!_ They have to try to make porno films and antagonize those little bitches and get their butts whipped right into my project! I'm not even a succubus fer crying out loud!"

Nagasameru drew her weapon. Her vision became clearer. The darkness had a human form and sat in the branches of a tree outside the Tendo dojo. Her mission might be completed sooner than she thought. She might get to taste some of Kasumi's cakes as a reward. Taking a deep breath she charged.

* * *

Barry soared through an infinity of glittering points. He had figured it wouldn't be easy. He hadn't realized the scope of the problem before him. Earth possessed at that time nearly five billion people. Most had something they used as a mirror, and some had dozens. Even ice from glaciers qualified as reflecting surfaces, and some of those surfaces looked out on worlds so strange, they couldn't have been of this earth. As he flew, he considered that this might not be limited to only the mirrors of Ranma's universe. He tried to maintain focus. In astral form he only had a few hours before the imbalance of spirit and body, without the mediating astral presence, killed Ranma. He had to find his way to Beldandy and back again before that. For an instant, he thought he saw his own face in one of those distracting flashing surfaces, but that couldn't be! He must…focus on…

…A big shiny piece of stainless steel, polished and bright, hanging above a drafting table festooned with paper and scattered pens and mechanical pencils, beneath a hanging lamp. A swivel chair, well used, before the table, a coffee cup with more writing implements and a white eraser, its tip rubbed down and gray from use resting on a small side table…

He rushed along an infinite set of choices, not even certain that he hadn't already missed his stop.

* * *

Ranma jerked away from the bathroom mirror. What the hell? For just an instant, his reflection… it had… had almost looked like himself! Not Barry Barlowe but…Ranma Saotome. He glanced from the lighting in the ceiling to the mirror. There had been a hint of silver from somewhere, too. 

Then he winced. He had managed to cut himself. In his real body, he didn't have to worry about shaving much. A change to girl-form removed extraneous hair. The change back, didn't replace it. Gingerly, he patted the bloody little spot with a piece of tissue. Ranma hoped he'd be able to make an attempt this Saturday. The workday was shorter; he'd be done by 6 P.M. As for now, he'd better hurry. It was Friday, one of his longest days. He should be safe for tonight. Barry's memories indicated Gwen let him alone on Fridays because of the long hours. That would be a relief.

Shampoo was more persistent; but Gwen, he now realized, had the advantage of experience and this body's conditioning. Gwen was a friend as well, much as Ukyo was, and he could better appreciate what the okonomiyaki chef offered. But Akane… Akane was the only girl who had been utterly selfless with respect to him. She had always been there when he needed her. She treated him horribly at times, but then he hadn't been any great prize, either. She had been so… _afraid_ for so long, and he hadn't understood that she was as much afraid of loss as he was. They had recognized something in the other that each needed, but pushed away for so long to avoid the pain of loss when the other was gone. Had her mother's death done that to her, even as his sudden separation from his mother and nomadic life had scarred him? He ached to return. 'Soon Akane! I'm coming back!'

And beneath even his conscious level of thought was the plaintive unvoiced plea, 'Please, still want me…'

Gwen put on her shoes and thought over the past week. Barry had been so distant. When he did get close, he acted almost like he had when they were first dating. Well, that was over tonight! It was his birthday, and she planned for it to be special. She thought about the wrapping she had bought for his special present. It covered but didn't hide… anything, which was exactly right. After all the present was… _herself_!


	51. The Cutting Edge

**Guest Ki: Chapter 50**

_**The Cutting Edge**_

Nagasameru charged. "AI-I-I-I-YA!" (THWOCK!)

Marller frowned. These martial artists were always fighting. From the information she had gleaned from Kodachi, there were any number of opponents who might be after Ranma or Akane, or one of the boy's other fiancées. Who was it this time? As she peered through the leaves, she felt the tree shift. What had that 'thwock!' sound been? The tree's base slid off the diagonal cut and dropped more than a meter with a bone-rattling thump. Then the tree toppled.

"Aaagh!" (CRASH!)

As Marller began to extract herself from the branches of the tree, a steady 'thwock-thwock!" came to her ears. As a matter of fact it sounded almost like some one using… "Waaaah! An eff-ing _big_ sword!" Marller scrambled out of the branches. As she burst away, she put everything she had into a Hellfire Thunder-blast and fired it off.

Nagasameru grinned maniacally and slashed.

Marller screamed as the sword shredded her Hellfire Blast. The backlash of the spell almost finished her. As she writhed and staggered in pain from a massive migraine, the girl with the mega-sword cut at her. If she hadn't dropped to her knees, her head would have been neatly removed from her shoulders. The blond came to herself then, and rolled quickly away from the strike and reach of the huge curved sword.

"Da!-da!-da!-da!-da!-da!-da!-da!-da!-da!-da!"

Marller rolled from side to side, trying to come up with a strategy to break away. The _nodachi_ gleamed in her sight like a huge temple charm, with an edge! Immediately she sensed it could kill her. Permanently! She managed to stagger to her feet.

"Come back here, demon," Naga snarled. Marller discarded her cloak and threw it at the oncoming demon hunter. It delayed Naga only one step. Marller fled, unsteady and too weak to fly, but still strong enough to run like hell! Especially with a Godzilla-sized sword swinging at her split-ends. She dodged around the corner and past the front gate of the Tendo compound. Nagasameru pursued. In the yard, Genma, having left the dojo to his daughters for a well-deserved breather, heard the sounds of conflict. Curious, he opened the front gate just after Marller ran past.

Nagasameru put on a burst of speed and swung the nodachi over her shoulder for a decisive blow. The demon had been fast and tricky. She'd have to check with her control, but the marks on the demon's face might be significant. She'd worry about that after she made her—! (WHAMMM!)

Genma stared at a sword blade as long as his body and as wide as his palm quivering centimeters in front of his nose. Having had long experience with swords being aimed in his general direction, he did what he always did at such close encounters. He fainted dead away.

Nodoka, coming out to see what was keeping Genma, found the supine martial artist and Nagasameru out cold from running headlong into the open Tendo gate. Marller was long gone.

* * *

Barry was feeling weaker, yet the speed of passage was growing no less. There seemed to be fewer mirrors, though. He had a sick feeling he was reaching the very edges of the universe. He kept rehearsing in his mind what he was expecting to see on the other side of the mirror. 

…_A big shiny piece of stainless steel, polished and bright, hanging above a drafting table festooned with paper, pens and mechanical pencils, beneath a hanging lamp. A swivel chair, newer but well used, before the table, a coffee cup with more writing implements and a white eraser, its tip rubbed down and gray from use resting on a small side table…_

He thought about the time of day and how the light might come in through the windows. He tried to keep his musings as a comprehensive whole, trying to narrow down the expectations. Was there anything else? Ah! Beldandy and Keiichi's wedding picture would be visible on the wall when he was looking out of…. Of course! How stupid! How did it look from inside the mirror? He imagined the mirror itself; the reflections cast upon it were what it saw! He cut out the foreground and tried to fill in areas that he couldn't see by speculation. Finally, he cut out himself. This left a hazy sense of recollection, as the center of the mirror didn't quite…

Suddenly he was zooming past mirrors, arrowing to a particular surface that shot at his senses with all the speed of a high-powered bullet! He braced for the crash! Even ki wouldn't—!

He floated at rest behind the window of a mirror that looked out on a study that was so like Keiichi's that he dared to hope. How he had come here, or how he had come to that abrupt, forceless stop, he didn't know. He tried to pass through, but the mirror was like a windowpane. Either he couldn't pass through mirrors from this side, or, more likely, the goddesses had a way of preventing outsiders from intruding. As he looked out, he noticed some minor differences, probably simply items moved from their accustomed places, or items temporarily placed in the room for a variety of reasons. He wondered if Beldandy had children… or if a goddess could. There were two ninja action figures on Kei's drafting table that were exquisite, their equipment so finely detailed that Konatsu would have been jealous. They were cute, too, in a doll-like way, their heads a little too large for the bodies.

The action figures suddenly shifted into action. Swords cut in lightning swift blows, hands dipped into sleeves and hidden pockets to drag out specialty throwing weapons that they hurled with abandon. Several tinged off the surface of the stainless steel mirror with pings that made Barry shudder.

"I did not!"

"You did!"

"I did not!"

"You did! If you let your shoulder lift like that and let your stance go that wide you lose three-tenths of a second recovering from that extension."

"I did not! Besides, you were almost out of weapons! If you tried to stay in contact five more seconds, you'd be helpless!"

"You're a tub!" sneered the other, "Slow as molasses!"

"You are a weak little pansy. _Nyah_!"

Barry blinked. 'What…?'

The other figure mooned the first, darting away as the other swung what would have been a stinging slap across its posterior. "Missed me! _Nyah_!"

"Uh! Excuse me," he said a bit self-consciously. What he saw looked like a cross between martial arts, childish insults and foreplay. Remarkably like what Ranma and Akane were doing just before Ranma left. He grimaced. It wasn't like they would hear him.

Faces with huge defenseless looking eyes turned toward the mirror. "Eeek!" The pair fled.

"Hey, wait! You mean you can see me! Come back! I… Oh, shit!" He realized that in this form his image was essentially Barry-in-the-buff. "Jeez! He tried to sink low enough in the mirror's surface to be decent. "I didn't mean to scare you! I need to talk to one of the goddesses! Hello?" He hung there, embarrassed and increasingly worried. He wasn't certain how long he could stay. He looked back and saw the silver thread of his projection. He had come a long way.

Suddenly two heads poked around the corner. They moved in so competently, that he didn't recognize them at first. Skuld and Urd broke left and right and scanned the room.

"Kodama said she saw a shinentai in here," Skuld said. "Funny that one would show up now, after all this time."

"That's why I don't think it's a yearning ghost," Urd told her. "With Marller around, who knows what she's got in the works! I still can't figure out why she's after Barry. It's not like he's important to what we're doing here."

"Maybe she thinks he is," suggested Skuld. "He does get into a lot of trouble, and we have spent a lot of time around him and his friends."

"Come on, pip-squeak," Urd drawled, searching behind drapes and scanning for something with a glowing hand. "She's not that stupid."

"You keep saying that," Skuld said. "But I think it's because you want to shine by comparison." She held something that looked like a calculator on steroids. Several moveable items swung and beeped and blinked on its organic looking surface. "And don't call me pip-squeak!" she added.

"Hello!" Barry said relieved. Then he was not so relieved as they didn't seem to hear him. "Hey, guys!"

"You know, I keep thinking of Barry-san," Urd remarked, straightening.

"You would," snickered Skuld, "or at least Ranma's body!"

"Hey! I wouldn't do that! Not anymore!" Urd was affronted. "He's in love. They're both in love, actually," she added more quietly.

Skuld snickered in disbelief.

"Well, I wasn't the one making googly-eyes at him because he praised your scientific notation," Urd said slyly. "That isn't even really yours! It was Yggdrasil system code! But you stood there and giggled like any brainless girl."

"How did you—? You weren't even there! You have no idea what I do or do not think! So what if he's cute! The one's still a meathead martial artist. The other's married with a kid. There's no _way_—!"

Barry winced as he listened to an argument erupt. He had had hopes, when Urd had mentioned him, that on some level they might become aware. Now… Well, he had heard his own sisters argue like this. This could go on for hours until both stomped off to separate sanctuaries to sulk.

"Hello?" He jerked. That voice had come from behind him. He slowly pivoted around, eyes wide. He gulped and covered himself.

Vibrantly alive, Beldandy hung in space behind him, clothed in robes of light. Her head tipped to one side and her gentle smile was evident, forgiving him his dishabille. "Barry?"

He gulped again and nodded. "S-s-sorry 'bout this."

"You must have had a serious need to try to reach us this way!"

He nodded. "Marller nailed us pretty good, yesterday. Kodachi and her brother are in the hospital. Kodachi's probably gonna be transferred to the psych ward for a long time. She's also got a Jusenkyo-style curse now." Barry summarized what had happened. Beldandy shook her head sadly and promised to bring her sisters to the Nekohanten in an hour, as Cologne requested.

"I've gotta go back now. This astral projection stuff has its limits. Say… How do you keep your clothes like that?" He nodded at her clothing.

"Well, for one thing, I'm not an astral projection. This really is me. But you could try using your ki techniques to create a malleable shield about your body. With a little practice, it could seem to be clothing and would distort your image like clothing would."

"Umm… Thanks." He tried to imagine how he would go about doing that and still have energy to spare for projecting.

"Multitasking can be important," Beldandy added.

"Uh… right," he said slowly. She was telling him something, but what?

"You better leave now, your astral strand is getting thin. Follow it home and everything will be fine."

"Give my regards to… and uh, apologize to the two little ninja types that I saw from the mirror. I didn't mean to frighten them."

"I'll speak with them." Beldandy shook her head wryly and sighed. "They're not supposed to play in Keiichi's study." She looked up. "Go! Hurry home and meet us at the Nekohanten in an hour. Bring everyone who is under the Tendo roof when you arrive."

Suddenly, Barry felt himself hurled back along the line of his former flight. He hurtled on at greater and greater speed until a single silver dot grew like an onrushing mountain. He saw himself. He hit—! "Waugh!" He came to his feet in a rush, as air filled his lungs like an internal explosion. He quickly, automatically, scanned the house.

Coming up the stairs were Akane and Shampoo. Kasumi and Nodoka were downstairs with… Barry could tell the signature was familiar, but… Nagasameru? Nabiki had gone out by the koi pond to fetch her father. It seemed Nagasameru's presence was unexpected. He scanned for Marller, but she was gone. So much for his big risk in reaching the goddesses by astral projection. If he'd just waited long enough…

The girls banged on his door then peeked in. "Are you up, yet?" asked Akane. "Nabiki said something about phoning the Temple. Did she mean Mrs. Morisato?"

"Already done, Akane," Barry replied. He decided not to say anything about his unconventional attempt to contact the Temple. "They'll meet us at the Nekohanten in one hour. Mrs. Morisato said to 'bring everyone under the Tendo roof'."

"Everyone?" asked Shampoo. "Is okay! Grandmother not mind mid-afternoon crowd. You know Godzilla-sword girl is here?"

He nodded. "She's under the roof, so she comes." He frowned. "I wonder if she meant everyone on the property or everyone in the house when I got back?"

"Where did you go?" Akane looked curiously at him. "I didn't notice you leave your room."

"It was only for as long as it took to reach Mrs. Morisato. You and Shampoo were probably too busy flooding the bath to notice." He grinned as his conjecture brought blushes to both their faces. As Akane's blush began to go florid, he added, "You missed a lot of girl-buddy fun the last two years Akane, and I'm sure Shampoo was just as badly off." He kept his smile warm and innocent and his tone as cheerful as possible… and watched the anger fade, to be replaced by a shy smile.

"So, if she meant literally 'under roof', who would we need?" Akane asked, going back to his question.

"You, me, Shampoo, Kasumi, Nagasameru and Nodoka," he said.

"Kasumi?" the girls exclaimed. They looked at one another.

"Aw, heck!" he grumbled. "Let's just bring everyone along. We'll sort things out once we get there."

At the Nekohanten, there was a council of war. But first, the goddesses got to look at and were looked over by, the Chinese, the Saotomes and the Tendos.

Urd stared from her sister to Kasumi. She listened to the voice. She almost went up and looked at Kasumi's teeth. Kasumi took it placidly as always. Urd then hugged the other woman, just pulled her close and hugged her, as if she wanted all the cares in the world to go away from the other; which, frankly, she did. She was joined by Beldandy then by Skuld. Urd blinked back tears. She had read much of Kasumi's life, both in her inspection and in the hug. The girl was so naturally sweet, yet her years had been filled with silent worry and hardship that she took away from others and 'gave to the wind'.

Urd and Nabiki circled one another for a while, then left well enough alone. Nabiki accepted a hug from Skuld and an apology for not being able to do anything about her kidnapping.

"What's Nikki been doing?"

"No one has seen him since we deposited him in front of his place Friday morning," Skuld said. "He didn't learn anything from the experience," she added in disgust.

"It would have been easier if you'd have left him alone," Nabiki told them pensively. "After all, technically you kidnapped him." She shrugged. "We'll have to wait and see what happens. They refused to talk to me."

"The Yakuza? Why did you feel you had to?" Akane growled. "They kidnapped you, first!"

"Akane, the Yakuza have a lot of resources. They could technically have Ryoga, Akari, Sakurida, Kurumi and Konatsu arrested for kidnapping, assault, terroristic threats and a variety of other charges, completely ignoring what Nikki tried to do to me."

"But—!"

"Oh, I'm not complaining. If you had called the police, I'd be dead or on a little boat to a mainland brothel before they could have done anything. We really have no evidence that I was kidnapped. But messing up his bodyguards and smashing his car was a bit much."

Skuld frowned and glanced at Urd. They nodded. "Trust me," Urd said. "We have some connections that will take care of the kidnapping business." After all, what good was it to know when a sparrow fell, if you couldn't use the information? "Give us the details of where and when you were taken and I can find the proper evidence and witnesses. With that in hand, they'll leave you alone, I think."

Nabiki's eyebrows rose and a thoughtful look crossed her face. "Really?"

"Just this once!" Urd warned her, waving a finger. "And because the real problem here is Marller. It was part of her work."

Beldandy sighed. "She's really been so very naughty this time."

Nagasameru had been nodding. She didn't know who these women were, but they had a powerful presence and were enemies of the demon as well. At Beldandy's words, however, she eyed the gentle goddess with a look that questioned the other's sanity.

"This is a _demon_, here," she snapped. "They aren't merely 'naughty'!"

The others looked at her with inquiring expressions.

"Okay. You already know I'm heir to Japanese Steakhouse Martial Arts. But I'm also a demon hunter. Law doesn't recognize demons as anything more than particularly bad criminals, and to be honest, some normal humans exceed a demon in their excesses." She stroked the long hilt of her sword reflectively. "But demons spread more than mayhem. They spread a malady of insanity and spiritual sickness. Sometimes, they spread real sickness as well and magnify the effect by association. We demon hunters have to deal with the demons." Her grip tightened and Barry felt the increased flow of energy between Nagasameru and her sword. "I've been assigned to this one."

The three sisters looked at one another.

"Nagasameru," Beldandy gently spoke, "she's not _that_ type of demon."

"What do you mean she's 'not that type of demon'?" demanded Naga. "What other type is there?"

"Onin and gaki for certain," Barry said. "Hundreds, actually if what I suspect is correct. Even ghosts of various types may be classified as demons… or kami."

"You've met some of them, I suppose," Naga spoke sarcastically.

"Yes," he answered her simply. "I've fought them and won."

Naga blinked then her lips firmed. "Touch the hilt of my sword," she said. It was not a suggestion.

Barry reached out and smoothly grasped the hilt she extended to him. He stiffened as he felt a distinct presence. He had the feeling the sword guardedly 'sniffed' at him. It felt almost like greeting a strange dog. He sent back a wash of emotion; friendliness, curiosity and a sort of 'would you like me to scratch your ears' kind of feeling, back along the link. Seeing Nagasameru's expression, he pushed it a bit, adding a catlike 'bump and rub' memory. The girl shivered oddly. As he released the grip, he looked at Nagasameru expectantly as she stroked the hilt and whispered to herself.

"You pass," she said finally. "You're very odd, though; you know that?" She scowled. "You're not possessed; and if you're infected, it's minimal." She turned and looked at Akane and Shampoo. "I don't even have to test them to see what's wrong."

Shampoo and Akane looked startled. "Possessed?" Akane squawked. 'Not again,' she thought. 'The doll at the inn, and that stupid oni Happosai set free.'

"No, infected."

Skuld pulled out a device that looked like an instrument a proctologist would use to make a really unpleasant internal exam. She waved it at the two girls, making them flinch and crowd closer to one another for mutual support. "She's right! Look at this!" she said to Urd and Beldandy. At their nods, she fiddled with something. "Eeek! There are supply foci springing up all over Nerima, maybe all over the city!"

"She can't do that! The Sunari Protocols strictly forbid it!" Urd exclaimed, then looked at the others guiltily. "Ummm… but that's nothing that concerns you. All of you, that is, you people…" Urd ran down and Barry had a brief feeling of glee that someone else could put their foot in it.

"Don't mind my sister," Skuld said with a sad sigh. "She's like that sometimes. She's the oldest of the three of us… and you know the mind is always the first to go!"

"Hey," Urd snapped. Skuld smiled sweetly.

"To get back to the point, Nagasameru dear," Beldandy picked up the explanation, "Marller is an elemental spirit. She isn't within your jurisdiction, though I can understand, if supply foci are springing up, why it might seem to be so. Because of what she is, destroying her would be a dangerously unbalancing act. She would eventually be replaced, but in the meantime, the world could suffer greatly."

Nagasameru scowled. It was obvious she was having trouble believing it.

"What _is_ Marller, Mrs. Morisato?" Barry asked.

"Discord, Ranma," she answered. "A small amount is necessary for free will. Uncontrolled or unbalanced, it is incredibly destructive."

"What are these foci?" Nodoka asked.

"They are like shrines. It is where people worship her." Beldandy looked very concerned. "Except that she's not supposed to be able to set those up."

"Under those protocols mentioned?" rasped Cologne. Beldandy nodded unconcerned.

"What if it weren't deliberate?" Barry asked suddenly. "What if someone took her picture, and distributed it widely without her consent?"

Urd opened her mouth and then got a wide-eyed look of understanding. "Those little weasels!" she blurted. "Okamisama! That might work. It would certainly be a loophole!" She looked at Barry. "Do you have any idea how many copies they made?"

"Why ya askin' me?" he blurted. "I don't have one of the things! And it wasn't because it wasn't offered."

"Over ten thousand," said Nabiki. "At fifteen universities, five businesses and two magazines."

They stared at her.

"It was a good picture."

"Well," Beldandy huffed. "I can see what our job is going to have to be." She looked at her sisters. They nodded. "Ranma will be the bait for Marller. Kasumi, Akane and Shampoo shall be one team. Nodoka, Nagasameru and… Oh, my!" Kasumi giggled faintly at hearing her own voice and oft-used phrase. "We're missing someone." Beldandy looked around.

There was a knock on the door. A familiar feminine silhouette could be seen through the glass. "Hey, you guys!" came a voice with a distinct Kansai inflection.

Cologne let Ukyo in and re-locked the door. "You're late!" she said.

"I'm—! Wadja mean _late_? My grill went on the blink and I've been messing around all morning with it! The repairmen won't be coming till Monday, dammit! So I went looking for Akane and Ba— Ranma." She looked at the other folk who were not 'in the know' about Barry. "When no one was home, I decided to come here."

"Very good, Ukyo," Beldandy smiled. "You will be part of the grounding triad."

"Excuse me?" the okonomiyaki chef said.

* * *

Barry, in Ranma girl-type, moved through the marketplace. It served two purposes, as Kasumi had shopping that needed done and Barry had to be out anyway as the bait for their trap, 'Yep, I'm doin' double duty again!' she thought. On her face were marks, the triangular symbols of Beldandy's divinity. There had been a few raised eyebrows but Ranma got into enough garbage that most people didn't dare ask questions. As she moved about, she kept her senses peeled for telltale signs of Marller. As it was, she almost missed another foe that came in fast from her left and behind. 

The blur slid in and out of the crowd, sliding past people who had baked goods or ready-made food. As it passed, individuals began to cry out in anger and surprise. Barry sensed movement and chose to challenge rather than dodge.

(Th-PLOwk!) "Eeuw!"

Barry and Ranma had both stuck their feet in their mouths 'up-to-the-hip', so to speak, but this was the first time Barry had done so in someone else's mouth. Picolet Chardin stared up the distended mouth that engulfed her right leg almost to her groin. His lips seemed to smile.

"M'msle'," Chardin mumbled, as Barry's hair stood on end.

"You even _think_ of usin' that tongue for anything other than talkin' and I'll rip it out at the roots!" Barry snarled. "Let! Go! Now!"

"I beg your pardon', Mademoiselle Ranma," he said, as Barry looked over the released leg to see if it was slimy.

"Can the M'msle, Chardin," she growled again. "Ya sound thicker 'n Kuno ever was."

Chardin straightened his tie and let his head tilt to one side. He saw the symbols on cheekbone and forehead and reached familiarly, as if to rub them off. Barry slapped his hand away. The Frenchman's eyes flashed, then he laughed in a depreciating manner. "Indeed," he smiled. "But of course! It is a most intriguing affliction you have, Ranma Saotome."

"So they tell me." Barry scanned around. This idiot might just be a diversion for Marller's real attack, but nothing came. "Wadja want, Rubber-face?"

"That is hardly the attitude one should take for having missed their appointed time of combat," Chardin chided.

"Buzz off!" Barry glared. "About the time our little match was scheduled, I was being dragged outa Furinkan swimming pool, soggier than Antoku's shorts!"

"So you say." His flippant attitude implied complete disbelief. "Perhaps you are afraid I will win again?" He withdrew a slip of paper from his coat. "By my calculations, you now owe me…762,940 yen. Or… you could agree to become my bride."

Barry snorted. What a pervert! He even beat Mikado, in her opinion. "I never agreed to double or nothing you contemptible thieving frog!" She snarled, being as insulting as possible. "We never agreed to interest on the original debt!" she screamed in his face. "I would rather commit seppuku than offer you or your pustulant family myself or possible daughters yet to be born!" She hauled off and slapped him, then face-faulted as his lips and jowls wrapped around his head like plastic wrap.

His lips pursed a moment. "Does that mean _no_?" he mumbled.

She stalked away, trying to hide her snickers at his mutterings and ineffective attempts to unwrap his face. He was a stubborn pervert, though and he followed her the rest of the way through the market and back to the Tendos. What a moron! If he got caught in the crossfire, Barry wouldn't be too sorry.

"Hey, Pops!" Barry yelled as she came into the yard. Genma, again training with Kurumi and Natsume and looking a bit the worse for wear, turned and looked questioningly. Off to one side, Ryu Kumon crouched impassively. "Remember this moron?" She pointed over her shoulder at Chardin.

"Growf!" Genma said, despite being very human at the moment.

Chardin stopped at the gate. He had finally un-wrapped his face and was again his impeccable self. "May I come in?" he requested in a formal tone.

Barry eyed him. "Sure! Why not? Come on in, Picolet Chardin. I can't say you're particularly welcome… but I can't very well leave you mopin' on the street, either." She smiled, not in a friendly manner. "What would the neighbors think?"

Chardin crossed the threshold, hesitantly, then with greater confidence. As he did, Ryu stood up and walked over, checking him out. He jerked his thumb sidewise. "_This_ is a martial artist?"

Barry shrugged. "In his own specialty, he's as expert as you or I, Kumon." A shudder worked up her leg she shook it as if to get rid of some disgusting bit of garbage. "Remember what I said. Don't challenge him to eat, _ever_!"

Barry turned away and Ryu jerked his thumb after her. "Wadja want with him?"

"Her," Chardin corrected.

"At the moment, but not normally," Ryu countered.

"Yes but perhaps soon, permanently. I will have her for my bride."

Ryu looked sick, as did Natsume and Kurumi. "That's disgusting, man!"

"_Au contraire_! Ranma, as a woman, is _non-parallel_. Any man would beg for such a one's favor!"

"Beg a favor, maybe!" Ryu said. "Climbing into bed with is another matter." He stood there shaking his head as Chardin minced around the side of the house after Ranma. "Eeuw! That guy is creepy!" Ryu concluded.

"You don't know the half of it," Genma muttered. He wondered where Nodoka was. She had been adamant earlier about supervising the training of his daughters. He shrugged. "Perhaps you girls would like to learn the revised version of the Cat-Fist. "

He dropped as three martial artists struck like lightning with ribbon, rug beater and elbow. "No!"

Around the side of the house, Chardin walked in on a scene of domestic and neighborly conviviality. Kasumi, Nabiki and Akane sat on the porch and chattered. Akane and Nabiki frowned at the Frenchman's presence, while Kasumi merely lost her smile. Along the edge of the garden, Nodoka was trimming a few dead stems from the plants, while Ukyo and Shampoo argued over some difference of opinion in culinary technique. Ranma stood about a meter from the water's edge.

As Chardin's eyes met Nabiki's he faltered. 'Something in those eyes.' He recovered and paced to where Ranma waited. The petite redhead stood, hands on hips, eyes hooded as he approached.

"Make no mistake, _ma cherie_, I will claim you for my own."

"Not even when hell freezes over." Ranma gazed at the Frenchman with a secretive smile. "And who would know about that better than you?"

"Really?" There was a distinct smirk as Chardin took another step closer. "I find that hard to believe." Behind him, Nodoka rose from her pruning and took a few steps toward the garden. Ukyo and Shampoo stopped talking and separated. Akane and Kasumi stepped off the porch and Nabiki retreated within the house. Suddenly, Nagasameru came out of the shadows, her nodachi gleaming in the afternoon light.

Chardin's lips writhed in an ugly grin that revealed his teeth back to his molars. "Hello, demon hunter," he said pleasantly.

"Hello, demon," she replied evenly. Kasumi and Akane broke further apart and now Chardin was surrounded. Clockwise from the demon hunter stood Akane, Nodoka, Shampoo, Ukyo and Kasumi. "Are you ready to die?"

The demon laughed and Chardin's features melted into a smaller feminine form. "Are you ready to be damned, little girl?" She turned to Ranma. "You think you've trapped me, don't you?"

"Yep!"

"You pitiful worm. I was once known as the Goddess of Discord! Do you think you can stand up to my power?" Suddenly, a stunning aura rippled off the demon's body, swirling the air like a pocket tornado. Everyone shielded his or her faces from the flying debris. "And thanks to a couple of horny teenage pukes I am in the midst of my worshipers!" Her voice was in sharp contrast and far nastier than Picolet's light disdainful tones and no longer had an accent. She started to laugh.

Hiroshi and Daisuke suddenly paused. One picked up his chemistry book and opened it; the other pulled a tube from his book bag and pulled out a large rolled color picture. They gazed at the simple shrines of their regard. Slowly, men and some women across Tokyo found private places and began unknowingly to worship.

The Blonde 'Biker-Babe' looked down her nose at Ranma who crouched, eyes slit and arms up protectively. "You little fool!" she intoned. "To think you could, even with the goddesses' help, match me now. Have they worshipers? Have they, save that pitiful little worm Bel keeps as a pet, a single follower? I have thousands, and thousands more yet will come unbidden to my altar."

"I gotta try, Marller, I gotta try." Barry faced off against the figure that glowed before her and offered up a prayer for guidance and strength for the effort ahead. "Ground!" she yelled. "Throw the switch!" she added.

Nodoka, Ukyo and Nagasameru thrust their metal weapons into the earth. Kasumi, Akane and Shampoo suddenly blazed with visible auras. They reached down and, from places by their feet, picked up sticks of ash wood. Their arms reached heavenward. "By the power of earth below, metal purified and the water that gives us life! By the branch of the tree of life and by the fire of our spirits, do we contain thee!" rang out their voices.

Silver shot forth from Nodoka with her katana, Ukyo with her spatula and Nagasameru with her nodachi. Gold shot forth from Akane, Shampoo and Kasumi. The lines formed a pair of triangles superimposed on one another. From above they made a perfect hexagram. From the side, they seemed to be two three-sided pyramids whose points met directly above the demon. From every junction, lines of power shot inward to blaze against Marller's suddenly wrought shields of shadow. Only Barry stood slightly off to one side, smiling faintly at the guarded expression on Marller's face.

Beyond the garden, Genma was already flat on his back in a faint. Natsume and Kurumi were both taking advantage of Ryu's presence and were clinging to him like limpets. He wasn't in much better shape and held them more for reassurance than to reassure.

"Time to go home for a while, Marller," Barry said.

"You people are pathetic," the demon said acidly. She flung her hands out and screamed a quick chant. Her aura started burning the light black, eating its ways up the lines of power to snap at the fabric of the pyramids, themselves. "How can you ever hope to match me?" She was obviously not exerting herself. "How long can you mortals keep this ridiculous effort up?"

* * *

And somewhere else: 

"Are you certain?" came a soft voice.

"That's all of them." The voice was confident and young. "Well then: If A and B are a part of the class of objects known as C…"

"I really wish they'd let us go back to chanting poetry for something like this," an older drawling voice expressed a wearied sentiment.

"They do say time marches on," came the soft voice.

"That is so-o-o true, sweetie."

"Oh, my!"

* * *

Marller was laughing, playing with them really, and then, between one moment and the next… (Cracka-BOOOM!) 

"That hurt!" Marller gasped, as she stood blackened within the imprisoning hexagram. Barry had been affected as well by the close strike of back-lashing power and laid scorched and blinking not far away.

"Marller dear?" Kasumi's voice rang across the garden.

"B-Beldandy?" Marller turned.

The other girl walked across the grass to the demon's side. She knelt. "Marller, you made a mistake. Ranma was not our project. You've been very bad, you know," she scolded gently.

"But, I thought you were Kasumi Tendo."

"We're very much alike, it seems. I do hope Kei likes shorter hair. But Kasumi is with Urd and Skuld. They just finished replacing your image in all those nasty photographs."

"Oh, is that what happened." Marller seemed dazed.

All the other participants of the little drama were slumping to the ground, except Nagasameru. She gritted her teeth and yanked the point of her sword out of the ground. Getting her feet under her was a project, but do-able. 'Now,' she thought, 'to finish that demon.'

"I have to send you to your room, now," Beldandy said. She spoke six words in a language no one except Marller understood. "Good-bye, my old playmate."

"You always were sweet, Beldandy," Marller sighed, slumping.

Steel rang in the silence.

Barry lay, face black and smutty, coughing from the smoke rising from her clothes, but arms extended and eyes hard as she held the huge nodachi caught in the shields she had erected. Its glistening edge was mere centimeters from the bowed neck of Marller. A wind seemed to blow across the garden.

Marller shimmered and was gone. In her place, Picolet Chardin wove back and forth on his knees, his mind foggy and his stomach nauseous. The last thing he remembered was the beautiful blond woman who had glided against him like a cat, her smile beguiling him into the alleyway. He felt a clean cool breeze and realized he was kneeling in his good white trousers on grass! It would stain! He staggered to his feet… He tried to stagger to his feet, and felt something keener than a razor part the back of his collar as he rose. Instantly he ducked and looked behind him. A beautiful young woman with an enormous sword seemed poised to decapitate him. Where was he? The Tendo dojo? As she seemed disinclined to complete her strike, he rose to his feet and bowed rather shortly.

"It seems…" He looked around. Close by was the eldest Tendo daughter, he was sure. Not far away were other lovely ladies. Akane Tendo by the corner of the house, Nabiki Tendo stood on the porch. A gorgeous Chinese girl with punk hair knelt by the pond. Another pretty woman who dressed in a manly fashion leaned on a huge spatula. An older woman slipping a katana into a silken cover looked familiar. His eyes swept down and suddenly he realized the charred heap at his feet was the lovely redhead he had once wooed. "_Sacre bleu_! What happened to you, _ma cherie_?" Who has done this? I shall thrash them as befits a gentleman of _la belle France_'!"

It seemed Marller had possessed him soon after she first arrived. She had delivered the challenges and added on the interest in an effort to gain a hold over Ranma. It was her last act of this performance.

And Picolet really _was_ thicker than Kuno!

* * *

Nagasameru stood at the gate and pondered where her life would lead her. After the demon had vanished, she had screamed and ranted at Ranma, angry beyond all measure of being deprived of her first kill. He had looked at her and simply said, "When you kill, the world is never the same again." 

It had struck something in her. She realized, then, that Ranma had at sometime crossed that line… yet she was a demon hunter. If she were called again, she knew she would take up the sword and go. But meanwhile, she would study. If Ranma were right, she would have made a terrible error. She had the responsibility of the sword. She needed to acquire the discernment to use it properly. She would be back with Shinzoo to train.

Barry escorted Beldandy back to the Temple. She preferred to walk, she said. She had learned to love it as she had learned to love Keiichi, the kind, complex man who had wished for a goddess. She could have flown, she could have stepped through the mirror; her most common mode of transportation when in a hurry, but walking suited her for now.

Barry had not yet changed back to male. Her clothing still stank a bit from the power she had only partially deflected. "Why is Ranma's life so confused, so difficult, Beldandy?" the redhead asked. "Why can't circumstances leave him alone?"

"Barry," she sighed. "You know that's not one of the questions I can answer. I know too much. And if you did, it would change everything."

They walked on for a while. Barry realized she had not rebuked her, merely stated the facts as she saw them. "Why is it necessary?"

"The question to ask is never _why_, Barry," she told him. "'What am I going to do about it?' That's the proper question to form." She glanced sidewise and smiled. "About what you've been doing so far, in fact."

"What about the people infected because of the photo?"

"They'll be all right, now," the goddess said. "They'll focus on the new picture and absorb the qualities of the subject. Urd and Skuld arranged things so that, eventually, the photos will fade and be forgotten." She turned a corner suddenly.

"Any reason to come this way?" Barry asked. "It's not the direct route."

"Oh, I have my reasons. So, what will you do next?" she asked. Beldandy stopped to look at a pet shop while she thought about it.

"Well we've got some promising leads concerning diffractive projection - actually that's what I was doing the first time I tried Astral projection - but the problem is we don't know which layers of ki are mine and which are Ranma's. If we're wrong, we'll possibly be worse off than we are. Maybe dead. Yet we won't know till we try."

There was a loud burring noise, and a motorcycle and sidecar hove into view. Beldandy waved, and Barry realized why she had walked this way.

"Hi!" Keiichi yelled as he came to a stop. "Is it all right if we just trade places? I want to get Bel home."

Barry smiled as Beldandy got her first kiss of the afternoon before Keiichi got another word out. In the sidecar, Kasumi smiled and blushed at this very public display of affection. Barry gave her a hand out of the sidecar and helped Beldandy in. Then Kasumi handed Beldandy the helmet.

"Barry?" she called out over the roar of the cycle's engine. "Consider what can happen when too many people fish to close together along a stream bank." She smiled and waved. "See you in school Monday!"

Barry waved and shook her head. She really liked Beldandy. Beside her Kasumi waited patiently to begin the short walk to the dojo. "You will take a bath when you get back, won't you?" Kasumi asked with a stern look.

"Yes, ma'am," promised Barry. 'Fishing? Fish played an important role in the Gospels… But that wasn't what she meant, was it?' And with a small corner of his mind, Barry wondered whose picture had been substituted for the demons? They hadn't used… _hers,_ had they?

After Keiichi zoomed off with Kasumi Tendo, intent on picking up Beldandy in time for the weekend rally of the motor club, Urd and Skuld found the Temple unusually quiet. Then…

(Brrringg! Brrringg! Brrringg!)

Urd and Skuld looked at the phone. "You gonna answer that?" asked Skuld.

"Ummm… If I must," Urd said uncomfortably. "Moshi, moshi? Oh! H-hello, Peorth. Why are you calling?"

Skuld grimaced. This could be bad.

"Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Yeah, we had a little problem with Marller. She got confused, poor thing, and went after the wrong people. Um… She sorta got involved in a loophole in the Sunari Protocols." Urd's eyebrows went up and she grinned as the other voice sounded surprised. "Oh, no! I'm not kidding! That's what Legal said, 'If the party involved is unaware of the procurement of an image, they cannot be held responsible, provided they were acting in good faith and did not deliberately invite procurement, distribution or circulation of said image." Urd broke off her explanation. "What's that?" There was another short burst of words. "Let's face it, Peorth! It would take some pretty unusual circumstances for one of us, or one of them, to pull a stunt like that. Especially since Legal would be looking down their necks for some excuse to call a quid pro quo." There was another burst of words, suspicious, inquiring. "Well, yes. These were unusual circumstances! We had to replace Marller's image through a similarity clause and it had to be someone of similar natural power or the replacement wouldn't have restored the balance. And we couldn't exactly _ask_ permission ahead of time, or that would violate the Protocols." The voice became more suspicious still, demanding and accusing. "Oh ho ho ho...! I suppose it would be uncomfortable to have the regard of several thousand perverts focused on you. Oh! Didn't I tell you? It was one of _those_ kinds of photos, and I just happened to have that marvelous one of you from the last party that was so-o-o similar." There was a very angry burst of sound and Urd moved the phone back a few feet. She started talking past the angry accusing remarks of her caller. "We all serve the forces of good and light, Peorth! I couldn't very well use myself, the Protocols worded as they are, so I thought… Well, I wouldn't mind having the power the worship of several thousand people would give me! No, I am _not _a pervert!"

Skuld fought a snicker. It was pretty obvious what Peorth thought of Urd's substitution of her picture for Marller's.

"Would I like a taste of that power?" Urd repeated Peorth's suggestion. She was becoming incensed by the other's attitude. "You bet I would! Why…"

CRAACKKKKA-THOOOOOOOOOOM…!brum…brum…bumbarumm…

Urd hung up the phone and turned to Skuld, her hair straight out from her skull and crackling, her outfit smoking, her features not improved by the carbon of the lightning strike. She puffed out a tiny smoke cloud. "Actually," she coughed, "she took that rather well."

* * *

There was a knock on the smoking door. Marller opened the metal plate with barely the requisite amount of groaning and griping expected of a demon of her level. She would reside in 'her room' for the space of a season, then she'd have to go back up and irritate the goddesses again. Why couldn't they just leave a practiced troublemaker get her beauty sleep? 

Because it wouldn't be Hell then.

"Yeah? Wadja want?" she snapped. She vividly remembered that sword coming down. It could have killed her. Would have, had it struck, but the redhead girl who was actually a boy blocked it, her eyes full of understanding despite what Marller had done to her friends. She could've puked! But she had been too frightened and too damned… grateful.

"Speak up, dammit!" she snarled at the little messenger demon. "I'm in a really foul mood!"

"That's g-g-g-g-…"

"You say that word around me, I'll blast ya to atoms," she growled. "Just deliver your message and scram."

"You are ordered to see her Supreme Frightfulness, immediately," it said. It scrammed.

She stood leaning against the wall, feeling her hand singe on the hot iron of which it was composed. So the bigshots wanted to see her, hmmm? That was decidedly not good. Perhaps she should consider her options. If she was in real trouble, she might even have to resign and try to start over from the mortal plane again. Suddenly, a sly smile crept across her face. She wondered if Keiichi and Beldandy wanted a daughter. Snickering, she sauntered toward the throne room. Sometimes the best way in was the door least looked for. Her laughter grew, and was totally inappropriate for Hell.

* * *

Barry picked at his dinner.

'Fishing, fishing….' In the distance, thunder rumbled. 'Great!' he thought. 'More time as an inadvertent girl.'

He sat on one side of the table at the Saotome's. Kurumi and Natsume sat to his left, Genma was across from him and Nodoka was across from Ranma's sisters.

Genma, eating quietly due to Nodoka's controls, sat up at the rumble and winced. "Here goes more time as a panda," he said to his wife apologetically.

Kurumi giggled. "Can I have another panda ride?" Nodoka's eyes twinkled at Genma's pained look.

"Aren't you a little old for…"

"But I didn't get a chance when I was younger," Kurumi mumbled throwing puppy dog eyes at him. "Besides, it's cheaper than a pony." She glanced at her sister for support. "Isn't it?" She elbowed Natsume.

"Wuff! What? What is it?" Natsume grumbled and rubbed her side. Kurumi grinned.

"You're thinkin' 'bout Ry-uu!" Kurumi snickered.

"I… I am not!" Natsume growled. "Besides! What if I am?" Thunder rumbled louder and lightning flashed and the sky grew dark. "Can't I think about having a boyfriend?" Barry grinned slightly at the teasing. Life went on. Ryu seemed an honorable sort these days. Kurumi adored Nodoka and Natsume at least liked her. Genma was behaving himself lately. Idly, he drew out two threads and tied them to the ends of his chopsticks. Now he had simlulated fishing rods. He 'cast' with them, watching the lines fall neatly side by side.

Thoughtfully, he reminded himself of the goddess's description. Too close! Ah! Right! He held the toy rods between his index and ring fingers and cast the lines. Ranma's superb control allowed both lines to stretch out neatly on the table surface. Barry scowled. He was missing something. Then lighting banged almost directly over the open doors to the pond and wind burst down to ripple teh waters and kick debri up in its path. It caught up Barry's strings, entangling them hopelessly. He held the chopsticks up and regarded them in disgust. Then he stubbornly sat down to begin to untangle the mess. The strings were so looped about and tangeled it was hard to tell which belonged to which. In fact...

"Wadja think, Ranma?" Kurumi said with a grin at her scowling sister. "Hey! Where did he go?" Kurumi complained.


	52. The Twisted Threads

**Guest Ki: Chapter 51**

_**Hidden Faces, Twisted Threads**_

(Tap-tap-tap! Tap-tap-tap-tap!) Thunder boomed, rattling the window. Akane frowned. She was getting ready for bed. It had been a hellish week and she had decided to retire early. (Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap!) What was that noise? Were they getting hail along with the rain? She yanked the curtains open and boggled. Barry, soaked, was hanging upside down from the eaves. She pointed to the window and indicated she wanted Akane to let her in.

Considering Akane was standing there in her panties and bra, this was not exactly protocol. Akane snatched the window open, reached out and grabbed the redhead by the shirtfront. Fortunately it was one of Ranma's silks and her yank brought the dripping visitor safely in. Safe, that is, if she had a very good reason for peeping at her at this time of night. Barry was already talking.

"Akane! I think I figured it out!" the redhead almost giggled gleefully. "Fishing! Entanglement! We got our lines crossed…" She jerked and shut up as Akane let her aura flame a little. She suddenly seemed to see Akane for the first time, taking in her state of undress. Barry gulped. She fumbled in a pocket and pulled out two chopsticks and a dripping, tangled ball of twine. She separated it into two pieces and made a casting motion. The strings swung in nice straight arcs, remaining separated. Barry repeated the process, side by side, without success –or rather without interaction.

"B-b-b-ar-RY!" Akane's aura grew a bit brighter. Ranma's guest realized she was showing considerable restraint.

"Ummm… The string's wet! Maybe it won't work with wet string! Hold a sec!" Cupping the string in her palms, she sat on the end of the bed and concentrated on using hot ki to dry the string. She very carefully averted her eyes from Akane's form. Muttering and glaring darkly, the other girl pulled out her pajamas and slid on the trousers then yanked on and buttoned the top. Feeling a little more secure, she went over and watched what Barry was doing. "Almost done," she said. "Any hotter would set the string on fire." Finally she cast again. The pieces of twine crossed each other slightly, hung for a second, then fell apart . Thunder rumbled distantly. The storm had been intense but was passing quickly.

"Well?" Akane seemed to be focusing down to her kill pervert mode. Her fingers twitched and Barry could have sworn a ghostly mallet hung just out of sight.

"Ummm…" Barry rolled her eyes, a little panicky at the look on Akane's face. "This'll be a little artificial." She thrashed the threads haphazardly through the air. Soon the strings were so entangled that it was hard to tell they where one stopped and the other began. Akane took it from Barry's hand. She tugged lightly. The twine remained knotted together.

"Okay. What does _this_ have to do with anything?"

"Projective auras, Akane!" Barry grinned, now that immediate pummeling seemed to be put aside. "We never find accounts of successful projections of anything but the astral levels. Where there are accounts of people switching bodies, we've never managed to figure out how they did it!"

"What does this string…"

"What if the astral levels weren't replaced, but intertwined -entangled, still in place? What if Ranma isn't separated from his body, but tangled up in my astral self so tightly that our consciousness are working the wrong bodies?"

"That would be…" Akane shook her head. "But what does the string have to do with this?"

"Trauma and emotion, tomboy. Ranma's been in some rough times. I'm not blaming you, okay?" Barry added at her guilty flinch. "But let's face it! He's been having constant traumatic emotional and physical shocks most of his life, and the most traumatic, at least from his point of view, just recently. Projective ki is highly emotional in basis! And we have some peculiar parallels in our lives that might make us sympathetic to one another. When I came here I was coming from a job I loved but was very frustrated with. His was from a relationship he… loved yet was very frustrated with. Our real skills are in different areas: his in martial arts, and mine in art. He turns into a girl. A few years ago, I learned I had a stillborn fraternal twin. Wanna bet it was a girl? My mom and dad are physically, European copies of Genma and Nodoka. Both Genma and my father went bald early. Alternatively, my father was an upstanding member of his community and never considered leaving his wife. I lost my father young, though not as young as Ranma lost his mother…"

Akane grew more and more puzzled as Barry ran down a list of comparisons between himself and Ranma. "It sounds like you two are… I don't know - not mirror images of one another, but in some ways…" she said finally.

"We're alike but approached our similarities from different paths," Barry corrected. "I'd never heard of Budo, but was well read on chivalry, which is a little like it. We both chose to consider ourselves protectors. I've gotten into a few fights where I felt someone was bullying someone else."

"How did you do?" Akane asked. "You weren't much of a fighter before you came here."

"I'd shame them into backing down. I'm strong but when my opponent was reduced to beating me to a pulp while I'm telling him to his face throughout, why he's wrong and kept coming back for more… It got a little pointless if they had any honor at all."

"Ouch!"

"Yeah."

"The string?" Akane prompted.

"At the time Ranma was…pounded flat and I was thrown from my horse, we were both under severe emotional and physical stress. Remember the out of body experiences? We tangled. Ranma was far more powerful, projectively, and returned to his body. He brought me, unintentionally, with him. He faced the feline aura, which maybe is a result of the Nekoken at its peak, and fled the cat to find a sanctuary. Stress and emotion, right?" She nodded. "I don't know about you, but if I'm running in a panic, I don't think I'd watch where I was going. He woke up… in my body."

"But…" Akane looked troubled. "When we did that search, I had to go a long way to find him."

"Maybe all the way there and back again?"

"Huh?" Akane said intelligently.

"Each part of the aura has pointers and relationships that indicate contact with the rest of the aura."

"Say that in Japanese, please!"

"You sought Ranma's soul by following my astral contact. When you reached Ranma, his awareness point or node indicated what belonged to him as a whole. You _felt _him then."

"That's pretty glib, Barry," she growled.

"I thought you told me to speak in Japanese?" the redhead grinned. Akane hit her with a pillow.

"Baka!" Then, more seriously, "What next?"

"Cologne. And maybe, _finally_, home for me and home for Ranma." There was a tapping at the door.

"Akane?" Kasumi called in. "Aunt Nodoka's on the phone." She went on more quietly, "Is Barry here? She said he suddenly ran out at dinner and she's concerned."

The door snatched open and Kasumi faced a familiar redhead who was grinning madly. She grabbed Kasumi's hands, danced a jig around her and ran down the steps. "I'll talk to her!"

"Oh, my!" Kasumi blinked and looked in at Akane who was sitting on the bed. "Ummm… Has something happened?"

Akane nodded numbly. "I… think he may have worked it out this time."

"To bring Ranma back?" Akane nodded, tears beginning to leak from her eyes. Suddenly her smile, her honest smile blazed up. "Oh, Kasumi…"

Her sister gasped as Akane hugged her and danced up and down a little herself. "I'm so happy for you, Akane!" she managed. She hadn't seen that smile since they came back from China. Downstairs, they heard the front door open.

"See ya tomorrow! I'll meet ya here!" The door banged shut.

"He came to tell you even before he told Nodoka," Kasumi said, shaking her head. "How sweet! I suppose things will be a bit busier for a while, then?"

"Probably," Akane guessed. "Thanks for everything."

"I'm always here for you, little sister. " Kasumi hugged her sister again and left. Akane sat back down on her bed. She was still stunned by this sudden surge of hope. The door rapped again.

"Come in!" she called. It was Nabiki. "You heard?"

"_Moi_?" Nabiki said. "I left my eaves-dropping equipment at the university."

"Oh! You're working low tech, then?" She pointed to the glass in Nabiki's hand.

"Every word!" the other admitted. "Is what he said reasonable?"

"I really want Cologne's opinion," Akane hedged.

"How soon do you think you'll try?"

"I… As soon as possible! But I wouldn't be surprised if it took a week or so to set up"

"Call me!" Nabiki said. "I want to be there when he gets back." Then she gave Akane a very rare hug that brought tears to her eyes all over again. "I'm rooting for you, sis," she whispered in Akane's ear. She broke away and looked down with a strange expression. "Are you aware that the bed where you're sitting is soaked?"

Akane jumped up. Her pajamas were plastered to the back of her legs and bottom. She looked at the bed and realized that this was where Barry, fresh in from the rain, had sat down while explaining about Ranma. "Honestly!" she exclaimed. Then she began to laugh.

* * *

The next week was busy, but not dangerous for a change. None of the principals in this drama were able to concentrate on school. Barry got a look at one of the altered photos (everyone seemed oblivious to the alteration for some reason) and noted that the woman was beautiful, well endowed and vaguely similar to a character from the new anime on the market called Tenchi Muyu, if the Juraiian princess were French instead of alien. The result still had punch, but not the ugly obsessive hunger of the original. He also tried to see Kodachi, but the hospital staff was under strict orders to keep him out. 

Monday, Barry introduced Kurumi and Natsume to Furinkan. They immediately had a horde of admirers around and he was forced to be quite firm with some people. Natsume became part of their class, though she was going to have to work her tail off to catch up. Kurumi was part of the freshman class (at Furinkan there were only freshman, junior and senior grades). They were immediately dragooned into helping with the decorations for a Halloween dance that had been promoted by the principal.

That individual had wanted a Hawaiian theme, but was overruled by Urd, Beldandy, Hinako and most of his staff, as well as representatives of the Saotome, Tendo, Kuonji, and Joketsuzoku clans. When he recovered, he'd try for the next dance.

Along with Natsume, they gained another new student, Jiro Hadoka, who was a short, intense, muscular young man who claimed to be a martial artist. Barry had grinned and warned him to watch out for the principal.

"Why?" the young man had asked looking surprisingly nervous for a martial artist.

"Because the first thing he does is go for the hair! He wants all the guys to have buzz-cuts or shorter. You know what'll happen if you end up with a buzz-cut?"

Jiro stroked his thin hair protectively. "What?"

"People will know your secret identity." Barry could have sworn Jiro looked ready to faint. He wondered what past he had to hide.

"My—? What do you mean?"

"With your hair short, or if ya were bald, you'd look a heck of a lot like Kurrilan from DBZ. If ya know projective ki techniques, everyone'll be askin' ya to do the Destructo Disc!"

"Who? The what?"

"Kurrilan… DBZ…?" Barry waited for some response. "C'mon, Jiro! It's only one of the most popular animé on!

"I don't have time for that stuff," Jiro sniffed. "My Art is my _life_!"

"Oh man, does that sound familiar!" Barry chuckled, realizing this boy had been even more deprived than Ranma in his social life. Others, listening, nodded and Jiro earned the nickname of Kurrilan.

Barry's missed date waffled, then decided not to reschedule. She was afraid she might just get caught up in one of Ranma's 'weird things' and watching Akane, Ukyo and Shampoo hunt down 'Ranmas' and turn them into classmates with water pistols had freaked her out. The Furinkan girls were gaining a whole new perspective on Ranma.

In fact, that latest Ranma's 'weird thing' had freaked a lot of the girls out, and Barry was relatively date-free through the end of the month. The only date still on the list was Shampoo, scheduled for Tuesday night.

He got hold of Sasuke on Tuesday after school and asked after Kodachi. Shampoo did not object to the detour.

"It's the opinion of the psychological staff that your presence might not be beneficial at the moment, Ranma," Sasuke said. The little man looked tired. "She has enough trouble with hot liquids even in her controlled environment."

"Dr. Hashi… whatever his name is… He's not involved here, is he?"

"No. Master Kuno was quite clear about that. And I would have insisted despite his protests." Sasuke added with a hint of steel in his voice.

"How's Tatewaki?"

Sasuke shrugged. "He should be out of the hospital next week. If you want, you can see him. He, surprisingly, doesn't blame you for the beating he received."

"Aiya," commented Shampoo, who had been silent most of the visit.

"That is surprising!" Barry hesitated. "He was back to acting weird, I understand."

"He's lost some ground," admitted the other. "At least he believes the pigtailed girl is your sister. That should make some things easier."

"Do you still turn… you know?"

"Yes. It seems I have you as an alter ego the rest of my life. Hopefully, the young master will understand."

Barry and Shampoo grinned. "Could be worse. How about spring of drowned cat?" Shampoo suggested.

"…or, oh… Midorigame?" Barry offered.

Sasuke shuddered. "I've had Mistress's pet moved to the National Zoo for the duration. He should be happy enough there. They had wanted a male salt water crocodile." He smiled. "We even had help from an Australian expert, (amazing how tall those Australians are) who was in town for a lecture. You know, the kind the Emperor likes to encourage?"

"Rah-rah! Bio-diversity and ecological responsibility?"

"Exactly."

"Sounds good to me." Barry gave Sasuke a bow.

"What was that for?" the ninja asked.

"Respect to a man of responsibility, Sasuke. Get used to it."

"Yes. It's a little hard to remember that I'm now CEO of Kuno Industries and vote Mistress Kodachi's and Master Kuno's stocks till they're recovered."

"If the situation changes, call me. I want to help." Barry rose and glanced around the well-appointed office. "Forgive our rudeness for going out first," he added formally and they left.

Shampoo, surprisingly, steered them toward Ucchan's. As they walked in through the door, Barry noticed Akane sitting at a table. Shampoo guided them over and sat down next to the other girl. Barry, after a pause, sat down on the other side.

"What? You expecting maybe real date?" Shampoo asked.

"I had wondered."

"What'll it be, guys?" said Ukyo, sliding out from behind the counter. Akane ordered a pork 'yaki, Shampoo ordered a chicken, and Barry, after a moment, ordered a special. Ukyo's eyebrow rose. "You haven't been eating that since I found out about you, sugar," she said. "Why you ordering Ranma's favorite?"

Barry was silent for a while. "Memory. I'm gonna miss you people," he said suddenly. "It looks like, real soon, I'm goin' back and I'm never gonna see any of you again."

The girls exchanged glances. "Oh, don't worry!" he exclaimed. They might be afraid he was giving in to temptation, "I want to go back! I miss Gwen so much it hurts," he laughed then sobered. "But you've become friends. Good friends, people that I admire as well as like."

"Does that include me, Barry?" Nodoka asked from behind the grill. There was no one else in the shop. Nodoka was preparing the 'yaki for the three guests.

"Of course." He smiled at Ranma's mother. "Say… I've been meaning to ask. Is your martial arts based on aikido?"

"It was. I haven't really practiced it in years, though."

"Girls," he said to the fiancées, "this shows the importance of a mother's touch." He turned back to her. "You may be the reason Ranma turned out as well as he did."

Nodoka flipped one of the 'yaki and gave him a small smile. "How could that be? I had him for such a short time, and he has, more recently, had a very poor image of me."

"That short time may have been all that was necessary." He watched her thoughtfully, the graceful minimal movements, the peaceful way that she faced things. He knew she had a temper. But even saints had bad days. "Ranma's philosophy of life was formed before he ever left on the training trip. How many times did you say, when Genma was training him, 'try to use only enough force to win' or —remember that bully — 'a true martial artist leaves his foe with his dignity. Both should win in your victory.' You said that.

"I admit I did." She finished the okonomiyaki and passed them to Ukyo. "I think it was part of the reason why Genma left."

"Maybe. But Genma's always lacked confidence. Ranma has confidence in spades." Barry smirked, his best Ranma expression, then smiled more naturally. "When monks and martial arts masters talked about Budo, he listened because it kept his memories of you alive. He may not have remembered just why, but I think a lot of his philosophy came from aikido, Nodoka."

She sighed a little shakily. "Then my purpose was fulfilled in my son. Whether he knows it, or not." The girls swallowed. They'd make a point to remember this when they had babies of their own.

They ate, discussing less critical things… including the dance on Thursday. "Pity Ranma won't be back for it, but Cologne was pretty adamant about not trying before Saturday."

"Ranma doesn't dance anyway, Barry," Akane smiled. "At least, he never has with any of us," she added uncertainly then scowled. "I'm not sure I'd call what he did, in some of his disguises, dancing, anyway."

"I've probably danced more than he has, Akane," Barry said smirking. "Of course, my girlfriend, now wife, had to grab me by the ear and drag me onto the dance floor." He winced in memory. "Also, that first time may have been because I gave her only a week's warning for the prom."

"At least you did not have many fiancées fighting over you," Shampoo reminded him.

"Thank God!" he exclaimed. He bumped his glass and girled himself. " And I'm really gonna like not changing every time I run through the wash."

"Bitch, bitch, bitch!" murmured Ukyo.

Barry glared, then laughed. "Oh, _no_! I'll miss my big opportunity for stardom!" They stared at her. "Hiroshi and Daisuke's movie, of course! What was it? '_Vixen of Furinkan_'?"

"Eeuw!" They hit her. Even Nodoka hit her.

"That was very inappropriate, Barry-san" she scolded.

"I'm sorry! You know I'd never do anything like that!" she exclaimed. "Heck, the idea of having sex as a girl…" She shuddered.

"What's wrong with sex for a girl?" Nodoka asked, looking affronted. He stared at her then shook all over.

"You mean what's wrong with the concept in general? Or Ranma or I thinking about it?"

"The concept in… Oh!" She blushed.

"I have nothing against the concept in general, as long as I'm on the _other_ side of the equation," Barry said smiling sweetly. "But let's change the subject." She turned to the Amazon. "Do you have any homework, Shampoo?"

She waved it aside. "I will do it later," she said. "We will sit down and watch my favorite show." She carefully structured the grammar and smiled secretively.

"What are you up to, cat-girl?"

"You see." She looked at Akane. "We go your house?"

"See you guys later!" called Ukyo.

"Behave yourself, Barry," Nodoka said smiling.

So Barry was forced to endure a viewing of ultra-skinny animé girls in silly short costumes, doing really ridiculous things 'in the name of the moon', whatever that was.

Akane sat only inches away. Just far enough that Shampoo, in cat form, could tuck in between them, receiving the attention cats have demanded for millennia and purring as fingers rubbed behind her ears or under her throat, or stroked the length of her furry body. Her purring was loud enough they had to turn up the TV.

* * *

Thursday, Ryoga came to school with a look of shock on his face. 

"What's wrong, man?" Barry asked. Ryoga stared at him as if he'd lost his wits. Barry became quite concerned. "Yo! Anyone home?"

"I'm gonna be a brother!"

Barry's eyebrows rose. Akane, Ukyo and Shampoo turned in their seats and stared.

"Uh, you mean like I'm Kurumi and Natsume's brother?"

"No, you jerk!" Ryoga grabbed Barry by the shirtfront and shook him. "My father's always been faithful to Mom!"

Barry refrained from pointing out that Ryoga could hardly guarantee that.

"Mom's… expecting."

That was a bombshell.

The girls were immediately around asking questions about due dates, what she wanted or needed and whether they hoped for another boy or a girl this time.

Barry frowned at Ryoga's stammered answers. He started smiling. "Hmmm. That would put it around the time they arrived here last, wouldn't it? When your hot water went out?"

"Put what?" Ryoga looked blank.

"Conception, you jackass," Ukyo growled affectionately. "October 1st. The deed was done; the date was missed; the test was run; and…" Ryoga went bright red as he finally figured out what the speculation was about.

"Hey! Isn't that kinda private and personal?" he complained, blushing.

"Not anymore, baka," snickered Akane.

"I…I…I…"

"You taking Akari to the dance tonight?" Shampoo asked. Ryoga sighed and shook his head.

Ukyo glared. "What? You chicken or something?" she snapped.

"That's not it at all!" Ryoga shouted at her. "Akari had to go home. Her grandfather says he's sick again."

"Ya think he's pushin' to make ya set a date?" Barry asked.

"I don't know," Ryoga mumbled unhappily.

"What were you two going as?" Akane asked. Poor Ryoga!

Ryoga shifted uneasily. "I don't know really. Does it matter? Probably something to do with pigs."

"Ouch! That sounded bitter!" Barry commented. He thought 'poor Ryoga', too, but with slightly different emphasis.

Ukyo's eyes softened. It wasn't the big jerk's fault if Akari had other commitments. It also wasn't fair that he should miss out on the fun. She moved over and took him by the arm. "Well, I'm taking you, sugar!" she informed him. "I've even got an idea for costumes."

"Ukyo?" Ryoga stared at her. She smiled back lopsidedly.

"I was going to go to work, but… what the hey! You're coming with me! Amazon rules, remember?"

Ryoga nodded wordlessly. Maybe he forgot that he did have the option to say no. Barry smiled, eyes narrowing.

"A costume party!" Jiro had attached himself loosely to their group, at least at school. "I wasn't paying attention! What shall I go as?"

"You could shave your head and go as Kurrilan, …Kurrilan." Barry chuckled. "I'm thinkin' of going as Goku. Maybe we could bask in each other's glory?"

"I'm not cutting my hair!" Jiro snapped.

"Maybe you could use one of those baldie head-pieces like they have in the theater department?" suggested Natsume, walking over.

"Not a bad idea! Thanks," Jiro said gratefully. "Will you go as my date?" he asked immediately. He made puppy dog eyes, making her laugh.

"Sorry, Jiro," she giggled at his crestfallen look. "Maybe another time!"

"Rats!" he muttered, turning away dejectedly.

"Hey! Lots of guys and gals team up after they're at the dance, Jiro!" Barry offered him hope. "Besides, Kurrilan's popular with the girls. You'll get some attention simply for that."

"Think you can help me, Ranma?" Jiro asked, excited. "I don't know the show that well."

"Sure thing," Barry said easily.

"What are you going as, Akane?" asked Natsume.

"It's a secret." Akane glanced at Shampoo.

"I was tryin' to convince her she should go as Chichi, but she doesn't want to go to the effort of actin' like a jealous, domineering, shrewish, martial artist housewife." Barry delivered his line with a perfectly straight face. There was a silent breeze that swept across the room. Everyone eyed Akane as if she were fifty kilos of high explosive with a short fuse.

"I can't believe you said that!" Akane exclaimed. Neither could anyone else! They waited for the mayhem. "We're nothing at all alike," Akane sniffed primly, turning away with a slight lift of her head. Then Barry and Akane howled as everyone face-faulted in reaction. Even Shampoo and Ukyo looked shaken. Ryoga shook his head in disgust.

Class got underway with minimal additional distraction, though Akane wondered at the maniacal way Hinako grinned at her.

They were visited by Hinako, Beldandy and Urd at lunch. The ki-vampire was ecstatic!

"Akane! Akane!" She danced in place. "You'll never believe it! Nope! Not ever in a million, zillion years!"

Barry, Akane and Shampoo stared. Hinako could be cute, but… At least Ukyo was at her grill. She probably wouldn't be able to face food at all after such an exhibition. Urd and Beldandy looked apologetic.

"Okay! What is it, Miss Hinako?" Akane asked.

"Your father agreed to help chaperone the dance!"

Akane stared. "He… He did?" she stammered.

Her father had been running from Miss Hinako since she came to Nerima. Something about him had attracted the little teacher and she periodically made his life hell as she tried to catch his eye. He avoided her like the plague. It made no sense whatsoever for him to suddenly put himself in harm's way.

Barry had noticed Soun's reticence, and understood it well. He also knew that Hinako was a tough, sweet woman. He wasn't sure Soun was a good match for her, though. He hadn't done anything to promote that romance for that reason, and because he lacked time to do anything about it.

They had found something similar to her condition in their research, but the treatise had offered no way to correct the matter. Hinako must have had a disease of the blood, like leukemia, for the method to be utilized to begin with.

When Akane looked at him helplessly, he shrugged. "Your dad's a big boy now, Akane. He can make his own mistakes." Miss Hinako looked hurt and pouted. "Miss Hinako, don't you think it's a bit strange that Papa Tendo agreed to this out of the blue?" She stared at him. "I know it sounds odd, coming from me, but I don't want to see you hurt."

She smiled again then and giggled. "Despite appearances, Ranma, I'm a big girl; I can make my own mistakes, too." She turned to Akane. "And don't worry, Akane, I won't be mean to your father."

Beldandy and Urd sighed unnoticed behind her. "We're chaperones, too," Beldandy announced cheerfully. "Keiichi will be my escort."

"I hope Urd... Miss Kamiko, that is," Barry corrected at Hinako's glare, "has a date. Some of these baka think a costume makes them acceptable instead of merely ridiculous."

"Oh, I've got a date," Urd said smiling.

"Do the idiots around here know it?" Barry asked. "Otherwise some girls aren't going to have dates with these baka hoping they'll catch your eye."

"Girls don't need dates like that," sniffed Shampoo.

"Sometimes girls won't go if they don't have dates, _even_ ones like that, Amazon," Barry retorted. "Doesn't mean they can't hook up with someone nice at the dance."

"I like your attitude," purred Urd.

"I'm taken," retorted Barry. "Besides you have a date, remember?"

"Of course!" She looked smug. "But I like to express my appreciation, anyway!" She gave him a warm look.

"She's simply teasing, Ranma," Beldandy said, giggling. "Urd doesn't poach."

"That's a relief."

"Why, are you poach-able?" Her smile was predatory.

"Miss Kamiko!" sighed Barry and frowned at her, but Urd merely grinned. "Are you people going in costume?" he asked finally, turning back to Beldandy.

"I'll be going as a shepherdess from my native land," she said. "Keiichi may not make it back in time to change."

"Miss Kamiko?"

"Oh, I'm going as a goddess. My namesake, in fact."

Barry winced and the others looked uncomfortable.

"Is that…" Akane hesitated.

Urd smiled and waved her hand airily. "The Sisters are a tolerant bunch," she assured them, winking at Barry.

* * *

Barry and Jiro dressed in the dojo. Shampoo and Akane were dressing in the house. Jiro looked at the kanji-adorned orange suit Barry handed him with distaste. He had just finished watching an hour or so of taped 'Dragonball Z' episodes. 

"Is this really necessary?" he asked.

"I've seen you eyeing the girls," Barry said, "but you seem a bit shy. This will break the ice. Kurrilan's very popular with the girls."

"Why?" Jiro asked, unconvinced.

"He's short," Barry began to list the DBZ character's girl-magnet attraction. He's scrappy, a real team player… He's a softie; he will almost always put aside earth-shaking tasks to save a girl or a kid. He can laugh at himself… and he actually is a very strong martial artist, just not in Goku, Vegeta or Piccolo's league.

"I suppose you're going as Goku?" Jiro was squeezing his hair under the 'skin' cap to give him a bald appearance.

"Oh, I thought about it," Barry admitted. "But I decided to try something else. Shampoo, Akane and I talked it out. There's a series that's just starting up, and I think the three of us can pull it off."

In the house, Akane and Shampoo worked on their hair for the best effect. Shampoo had endured Akane's ministrations as she worked the hair dye in per the Amazon's instructions. Then Shampoo trimmed Akane's hair, which was overdue anyway, in a cut reminiscent of Nabiki's while Akane guided her through drying her hair using _ki _techniques.

"Hair all done, Akane," Shampoo told her. She stepped back and stroked her now crackling, light green mane between her fingers and shook her head from side to side. "What you think?"

"You make a disgustingly good space pirate." Akane chuckled.

"Soon we see how easy for you to be Imperial Princess!"

Barry pulled his bangs back and found his inattention was going to work to his benefit. His character's hair was actually cut short in the animé, but Barry was unwilling to do that to his host. He pulled his hair back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck, just capturing his bangs with an elastic band and pulling his hair tight against his scalp. He shrugged out of his fighting suit and into the severe gray high-collared school uniform.

"How do I look?" he asked Jiro.

"How should I know?" came the reply. "I don't watch that stuff!" He looked down at himself then back at Ranma. "How do I look?"

"Very Kurrilan," Barry said. "You could have a very nice time if you behave yourself."

"That sounds like a contradiction in terms," Jiro said in a puzzled tone.

Barry chuckled. "Don't say I didn't warn ya!" He got a distant look on his face. "The girls are coming out the front door. Let's make sure that cap is on ya all right."

"Ranma, what's this Destructo Disc thing you were talking about?"

"It's Kurrilan's signature projective ki attack." Barry shook his head at Jiro's blank look.

"Is it real?" Jiro asked.

"Well, I can't do it. Not properly, anyway." He made certain all of Jiro's hair was hidden and then straightened up as the shoji opened.

Shampoo's hair, dry now, was almost white with a hint of green. Her bangs were swept back and her hair buns and ponytail undone to create a fantastic mane of hair. She was dressed in a red and black leotard and matching tights that looked painted on.

Beside her, more modest in appearance, but regal in carriage, Akane swept in, her kimono looked rich and her short hair was accented by long pony tails that swept to her knees. "Perhaps we should find a few thick logs and transport them to act as guardians?" Akane laughed easily behind her fan. She had deliberately stilted her speech and pitched it higher for her role as Ayeka of Jurai.

"Naah! They'd just get in the way when we wanted to dance with Ten-chi!" Shampoo drawled, launching herself into a good old Amazon glomp.

"Ryoko, unhand him!" Akane snapped, lowering her fan with similar emphasis. Barry sweated and squirmed, trying to get away from Shampoo without touching anything.

Jiro stared at Shampoo and drooled, his hands writhed slightly. He froze though as she saw him and released Barry to get a better look.

"Ancestors! He's perfect!" Shampoo squealed. She laughed and to his astonishment, bestowed a light kiss on Jiro's cheek. "Look, Akane! Kurrilan is just right!"

Akane grinned and, eyes twinkling, raised her fan again. "Well, if you say so, Ryoko, then I must disagree!"

"What you say?" Shampoo's eyes went wide. "He is perfect Kurrilan!"

Akane continued to fan herself and smirk. "Indeed, that may be true, Ryoko; but if you say it, I must disagree." Shampoo got it then, and laughed, delighted that Akane had scored on her. She got back in character.

"Well, what if I say the sky is blue?"

"Then I would admit that it is overcast, and there is a faint hint of umber at the horizon."

Jiro gaped.

"Man! What did I tell you?" Barry said. "You just made history! The only guy at Furinkan, besides me, that Shampoo ever willingly kissed. Believe me now, Kurrilan?"

Jiro reached up and gently rubbed the rubber cap that simulated Kurrilan's bald head. "It's a little early to see, but maybe hair isn't that important after all."

* * *

The gym was decorated in orange and black, with bits of dark colors, mostly greens and purples for effect. Jack O' Lantern cut-outs and cats made up the bulk of the images to Barry's disbelieving eyes. Ranma would have been uncomfortable, to say the least. Ayeka and Ryoko were immediate hits with the guys (even if they quickly learned not to touch) and Kurrilan was an immediate success with the girls. Jiro basked in the attention. If the squeals were any indication, he was copping a few feels, but apparently the girls were forgiving. 

Barry was disappointed. His attempt to portray Tenchi Masaki had been a bust. The best comment he had received was, "Hey, keiki! Good to see you in a proper uniform for a change, ya! Mebbe you need a haircut?"

Nobody had even splashed him with cold water. Barry had planned to go into a pre-rehearsed prattle about Tenchi Masaki and the mad scientist Washu exchanging places due to a failed experiment. As it was, he didn't have the heart to splash himself. He wandered over to get a drink from the punch bowl.

When the vampire glided into the gym, there was dead silence. His hair was slicked back with heavy pomade. He was dressed in black and wore a crimson-lined opera cloak. His height and breadth of shoulder was impressive and the fangs looked alarmingly real. On his arm, also cloaked, was a gorgeous feminine presence in skin-tight black; her costume, split to below the navel, barely covered her firm, round breasts. Dark net stockings ended in calf high, stiletto-heeled black boots. Her laugh was so reminiscent of Kodachi's that young men on their way to hit on this vision paled and backed away.

"Who is that?" Shampoo boggled at the pair. Shampoo and Akane had been fascinating the crowd since they arrived with their argumentative prattle and one-upmanship tall tales about imaginary meetings when they were children. Now their fan club was drifting away to see this new pair.

Soon, Jiro joined Barry by the punch, also looking disconsolate. When the vampires had arrived, he had lost his crowd of admirers as well.

"Et tu?" Barry inquired. "Never mind." He dipped out a cup of punch and slugged it back. "Jiro, I wish this punch was stronger than fruit juice."

"It is." Jiro said. Barry stared at him. "I spiked the supply in the kitchen half an hour ago with three bottles of sake!"

Barry looked pained. "I thought that was an American prank."

"Hey! Even they can come up with a good idea, once in a while!" Jiro sniggered. "Want me to top that off?"

"Ummm…" Barry monitored his ki. Ranma's body did not take well to alcohol. "Tell ya what, I'll just nurse along what I have left." He resolved to refill at the water fountain.

"Suit yourself." Jiro poured a cup, checked the temperature, then slugged it back and poured another. "Just right!" he sighed.

Barry decided to check out the goddesses' dates and walked the verge. He met Beldandy first, dividing her attention between the teenagers and her husband. "Watch the punch," he warned them, "It's spiked."

"Urd probably did it," Keiichi said, shaking his head and running his fingers through his close trimmed dark hair. His white shirt was rumpled, as were his black slacks, from the motorcycle ride here. He was just glad he wasn't like some of the others at work, transferred far from their families just to make a living. "She does love her sake," he added.

"Not this time," Barry corrected. "Or, if she did, she wasn't the only one."

Keiichi's eyes widened with understanding. "I guess we better change the punch over," he said with a sigh, anticipating trouble. The crowd around the punch bowl was respectable.

"Wouldn't do any good if it was spiked in the kitchen, now, would it?" Barry elaborated, dryly. Husband and wife exchanged glances.

"I'll handle it, Kei," Beldandy smiled. She spoke softly and at cheek and forehead, tiny marks glowed to life. "There!" she said, marks fading again.

"You know, those who believe the punch was spiked will still be acting blitzed at the end of the evening?" Barry reminded her.

"But at least those who don't, can't be manipulated!" Beldandy said primly. "A goddess resists evil in all forms." Suddenly she sagged and tears formed at the corners of her eyes. "Poor Marller…"

"That can't be helped, love," Keiichi tried to reassure her. "And you said if she wasn't banished, at least for a little while, she would have returned those pictures back the way they were, and there would have been more trouble."

"What?" Barry asked. "You guys didn't tell me about that."

Keiichi looked embarrassed. "Oops…"

"It's all right, Kei," she sighed. "But her superiors can be so very strict."

"Uh… right!" Barry said imagining poorly what that might entail. "Well, I'm going to circulate," he added. "If it helps, for your sake, I hope Marller's, okay."

He came across Hiroshi and Daisuke in ridiculously cheesy vampire outfits. "Hi, guys! Why aren't you over there?" He jerked a thumb over at the newly arrived pair.

"Isn't it sad?" Dai asked, sipping his punch in a way that had Barry wondering if they hadn't spiked it, too. "We're so pathetic."

"Yeah! We have the prefect excuse…" Hiroshi indicated their costumes. "But, man! That date of hers is huge! When a date is twice your size, poaching crosses over the line into insanity." They glanced over and sighed.

Dai suddenly focused around on Barry again. "What are you supposed to be, Ranma? A toe-the-line student?" Barry smacked his face with one hand.

"I thought you were going as Goku?" Hiroshi added.

"Never mind." Barry saw someone by the side door. "See you guys later." He moved closer and confirmed what he had seen. Urd was with a tall sandy-haired man, the former tucked comfortably under the other's arm. Surprisingly, he was not Fabio-type-muscular and dead gorgeous. But his personality crackled as he turned golden colored eyes toward Barry. Ranma's guest grinned. Urd was showing more sense than he'd normally give her credit for.

"Hello, Ranma," Urd said snuggling closer to her date. "Ranma, this is… Eli Adler, my date for the evening." Adler nodded and grinned at him.

"You look comfortable, Urd," Barry replied after exchanging pleasantries. "You guys watching the side door for delinquents?"

"Sort of…" Urd drew a finger and a shiver down her date's arm.

"Urd, most of these kids are a little unprepared to be parents," he chided. Urd continued to gaze warmly up at her tall gaijin. He sighed then brightened. Not far from Urd's feet, a length of rough wood lay. An idea blossomed.

"Hey, ah, Urd… Does this belong to you?" Urd was whispering something into Adler's ear causing a blush. After a few seconds of being ignored Barry retreated with the wood to look for Ichiro who was their class's big-time otaku.

Ichiro _was_ dressed as Goku, which didn't suit him at all. His wig wasn't staying on straight, his suit was too large and his bracers kept sliding off his wrists. Ichiro wasn't as tall and skinny as Gosunkugi, but the height at least would have helped. He grinned as Barry walked up. "Oh! Not too bad as Tenchi, Ranma," he said.

"Thank God!" Barry exclaimed. "Someone figured it out!"

"Well, the stick helped," critiqued the other. "It sort of reminded me of Tenchi's sword the way you were carrying it. If you wanted to go as Tenchi you should have cut your hair."

Barry restrained throttling him. "Ichiro, buddy…" Ichiro was immediately on edge. Ranma's tone set off warning bells. "Do you have that Tenchi poster that shows him holding the sword? Can I borrow it for a sec?

"S-s-s-s-sure, Ranma." He literally seemed to pull it out of the air, a rolled up sheet of photo-quality paper. Barry blinked. Did everyone practice Hidden Weapons around here? As he took it, he noted that most available horizontal surfaces had at least a few spills and food stains on them.

"Ichiro, I don't want to mess this up, so I'm gonna take it back to a class room." He leaned closer. "I'm gonna use martial arts speed whittling to try to make a copy of Tenchi's sword. Maybe then, people will take me seriously."

"O-okay!" Ichiro watched him move off, then tried to swell his thin chest as one of the talk of the night, the vampiress moved his way, hips swaying. "M-my, you look g-good tonight, Chichi," he said with total lack of confidence. His chosen pickup line hadn't worked before and it didn't work, now.

"You've got to be kidding, Ichiro," the vampiress drawled.

Ichiro gulped. Now that he was close, he could see the huge 'V' of skin down the front of the costume was actually covered by a fine mesh of stocking material. But the girl obviously wasn't wearing a bra, and you could see the smooth flesh behind the mesh, especially the breasts almost to the nipples. He began to sweat.

"Have you seen Ranma?" she asked. He nodded and pointed toward the doors that led deeper into Furinkan. She looked that direction and pouted. She had no desire to chase the pigtailed martial artist all over the school. "Darn! Did he say he would be back?" Ichiro nodded jerkily. "I'll catch him later. Thanks, sugar!" She swayed away. Ichiro's eyes bugged out. She had spoken more naturally for a moment and his recognition shook him. He stared after the lush long-legged form swaying back to her date.

"_Ukyo Kuonji_!" he stammered.

* * *

Barry was intercepted as soon as he left the gymnasium.

"Stop right there, delinquent!" Hinako rose and set herself, coin poised. "Ranma?" She lowered her coin. "Why aren't you at the dance?" Beside her stood Soun in his gi, frowning. Didn't the man have any other clothes?

"Yes! Why aren't you escorting my daughter?" he said accusingly. Beside Akane's father were a folding table and chairs, as well as some treats and cups of punch to help make their duty less onerous. Behind them were the bathrooms and locker rooms, a possible make-out area. "You should be in there, acting like a true fiancée, not sneaking out like a…"

"Don't say it, Papa Tendo," Barry growled. Soun shut up with a snap, but continued his aggressive stance. "I'm tryin' ta find some place ta do some costume enhancement," he explained. He put down his drink then held up the fairly straight but knobby section of wood and the Tenchi poster. He explained his intent.

"If you really want enhanced, you should talk to the principal about a haircut," Hinako teased. "You look good in a uniform, too. Planning on making it permanent?"

"Not a chance," Barry grinned. "These collars are too darn tight!"

"It was worth a try. Leave your drink here so you don't spill it on poor Ichiro's poster," she suggested. "And clean up," she added. "If I hear about wood shavings in one of the classrooms tomorrow, I'll nail you!"

"Thanks, Miss Hinako!" He vanished into the darkness.

* * *

Soun watched him go then eyed the cup on the table. He couldn't believe his luck. When he had been told his chaperone assignment was with Miss Hinako in the hall off the auditorium, he had almost reneged. He had hoped to maneuver close to Akane's fiancé to slip him the sample he had tracked down, of the drug Cologne had used so effectively on him after the near drowning incident. Then he would suggest that Ranma be romantic, manly and assertive, perhaps proposing to Akane before the entire student body! Back here, he hadn't seen a chance to do the deed and was rather grumpy about it. This opportunity was like a gift from the gods!

As Hinako looked after Ranma, he fumbled in his gi for the powder and sprinkled it into Ranma's cup. He was sitting comfortable and relaxed when Hinako turned around. She stepped slowly back to the table her eyes huge and her attitude waif-like.

"Soun, I wonder if we could talk?" she said, her voice quiet.

Soun swallowed convulsively, his throat suddenly dry. The path of a martial artist was fraught with peril.

"I wish you would give me a chance, Soun," she said, dropping her eyes and sitting lightly on her chair. "I understand that the… difficulties are huge. But you are one of the manliest men I've ever seen. So tall and strong and… sweet." She raised her eyes again. She had been throwing suggestions Soun's way, earlier, but he had seemed so preoccupied! Her suggestions had been largely ignored. But now he seemed more alert. She'd strike while the iron was hot! "I know I look like a child, Soun," she said levelly. "But I assure you, I am a woman, a very lonely woman."

Soun tried to answer, choked, then grabbed a cup from the table and drank to moisten his throat. Suddenly, he looked at the cup in horror. Had he…?

"I wish you could at least think about loving me."

"I could think about it," he agreed. Damn! That stuff was fast acting!

Hinako froze. What had he said?

* * *

Urd's escort looked down at her and grinned. "You're pushin' it, love."

"Well, I am pushy!" Urd answered. "Can't a girl have some fun?"

"Eli Adler?" he asked, eyebrows rising. "'Most High Eagle'?"

"Can't get much higher than the top of Yggdrasil!" she teased. But her date was suddenly looking around on the ground. "What's wrong?"

"That chunk of wood! Nidhugg knocked it off the tree when Skuld sent him back," he explained. "Kamisama, was that worm in a bloody snit! I brought it with me to ground it out, but…" he looked worried. "I hadn't done it yet. I got a bit distracted."

"Oh. Only… a bit?" Urd breathed.

"All right. A lot!" He chuckled. "You definitely ruffle my feathers."

"That's better." Urd leaned away, considering. "There's so much cold iron around here that it'll be grounded pretty quickly, anyway. Don't worry about it."

"But if someone shapes it and stabilizes it…"

"Unless you had someone shadowing you with the hope of stealing it, that's unlikely." Urd pointed out. "There are no tools on the mortal plane tough enough to even mark wood from Yggdrasil. And if anyone tries to shape it with a knife or a power tool, it will be ordinary grounded wood. Relax!" She put her arms around him again. If she'd ever known of Ranma's Nekoken, she definitely wasn't thinking of it now.

* * *

Barry stood over the wastebasket and compared the object in his hand to the intricately worked handle in Tenchi's hand on the poster. Not bad! He ran his hands over it carefully, with a sandpapering effect, smoothing and polishing the surface to a glass-like finish. It was nearly perfect. He looked back and forth between them. 'Tenchi' he thought, and grinned. It was called 'Tenchi', just like the character that wielded it. 

Though it was sort of a light saber and personal weapon of Tenchi Masaki from his grandfather, Yosho, Prince of Jurai, it was more, much more! It was the key to the Wings of the Light Hawk, the ultimate manifestation of Jurai power and Tenchi's ultimate destiny.

The wood was beautiful. Ivory and sienna blended in its grain; it was very hard, and its ki signature was powerful and distinctive. For some reason, the shavings in the basket were dull and lifeless compared to the length he had in his hand.

He looked at it again and noted there was still one little difference. The hilt in the poster had three red gems at the end. He had carved them, but… It didn't quite look right. Red… he didn't have anything red handy… except blood, of course. Hmmm…

* * *

The party was noisy, with dancing, karaoke, pranks, a few fights and a few embarrassing moments. Quite unusual for Furinkan — almost peaceful.

"Where is that baka?" Ayeka of Jurai asked Ryoko, the space pirate. "He said he could dance, and now he's hiding somewhere."

"Our pet otaku said he was making a costume adjustment," the vampiress said. "He'll be along."

"He better not come back a girl," grumbled the big vampire, her escort. "I hate the way he does Washu-chan's voice."

"What? Isn't it good enough?" Ryoko asked.

"It's damned annoying!"

"He means, Ryoko dear, that our lord Tenchi does it just right."

"I can think of other things that are damned annoying," complained Ryoko.

"Hahahahahah!" Ayeka laughed with a glitter of amusement in her eyes.

"Oh-hohohohohohohohoo!" commented the vampiress, imitating Kodachi's laugh. Ryoko held her ears and glared at them both. Every one else stared at them and shuddered, except the vampiress's escort who glanced, then staggered and held his nose.

"Do you have to look so… _naked_?" he complained, blood dripping.

Gosunkugi wandered the dance snapping pictures and grinning. His new camera was so-o-o-o cool! He was willing to bet that some people would pay dearly for the sights tonight.

* * *

Barry frowned. Who'd have thought he couldn't cut himself with the Nekoken? He looked around for something sharp, then paused. He had almost cellular control with the ki. Why not simply call it out of a surface capillary? He held his hand steady and dripped blood onto each of the 'gems' carved into the hilt. Now, to crystallize it and repeat on the other side. He turned the hilt over and froze, shocked. Instead of clean wood, the gems on the opposite side gleamed red as well. He gulped and began to wonder if, _maybe_, he had made a serious error. It had been such a _good_ idea, too! But if he had learned anything in this world, it was that nothing was necessarily what it seemed. He tucked the Tenchi in his belt and headed back to the dance to look for Urd or Beldandy.

He passed Soun and Hinako's station and paused… and boggled. Three students were stretched out on the floor, having obviously been ki-drained while sneaking out. Soun, and Hinako's adult form were locked in an impressive clench while the latter sat on Soun's lap. 'Maybe I was wrong,' he thought at the barely restrained sounds of rising passion. 'Not what I would have expected of them at all!'

Then a thunderous shock rocked the building. The ripple surged, throwing Hinako and Soun through the doors into girl's locker room. 'Earthquake?' Barry thought, surging back to his feet. Then he heard mocking evil laughter. "If only!" he growled, springing forward.


	53. Rite of Passage

**Guest Ki: Chapter 52**

_**Rite of Passage**_

He slid into the gym, quickly locating the source of the explosion. That shock had shaken the entire building. In the center of the gym, in the middle of a blackened section of floor stood a tall, lean, broad-shouldered figure. It was garbed in tight black pants and a gold bedecked, crimson short coat with massive double epaulets. Adorned with gold chains, rings and earrings, his clothes were edged with braid and complicated fasteners. The sun-bleached hair and the tan were the type one only finds in a salon. Barry wondered why, of all the supernatural beings he met in Japan, not a_ single _one appeared Japanese?

Were its origins Caribbean? Santeria, perhaps? Gos might be at risk, then, because of his Voodoo. Or was this merely the outfit one would expect on some magnified super-hustler, out to do you out of your soul?

On the figure's face glowed a red and black spiral. Barry supposed this was this clown's 'demon-mark', similar to the twin red 'eyebrows' Marller had sported. The demon lounged in place as Urd and Beldandy glided out to meet him. Everyone else seemed frozen in mid-step or mid-word and the gym had become a strange and silent place.

"HAAA-hahahahaha!" The stranger laughed as the goddesses confronted him. "Poor Marller! She in so-o-o big trouble! De Boss of Bosses call on Senbei, God of Poverty and Disaster, to pick up de slack!"

Urd snorted and muttered. "God, huh? I don't recall you being on the invitation list at the last office party."

"An' dees lovely ladies? You be sure de be my fine assistants," Senbei said, ignoring her. "Dis here is Urayami, and she be Urami. Dey mighty fine, mighty talented assistants, dey are."

'Envy and Spite respectively. Wonderful!' thought Barry.

"Assistants? Is _that _what they're calling them now?" Urd's tone spoke volumes. The two females with Senbei were spectacularly built, with lush full figures, long hair and almost identical designer clothing. Urayami's eyes assessed everything in the room, as if cataloging bits and pieces for future acquisition. Urami watched Urayami and smirked secretively. You had the feeling she, too, was cataloging the contents of the room and planned to get there just ahead of her associate. As beautiful as they were, you were left with a decidedly uncomfortable feeling around them.

"Hey, now… De up-and-coming executive must have his perks," Senbei smirked himself.

"And just bursting with the new-found power of an upgraded demon!" So far Urd had been doing all the talking. Her sister stood very still, only watching.

"Hah, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Senbei smirked and toyed with the curls of his long bleached hair. "Yes indeedy! For twenty-four hours, Senbei, as de bran' new _first-class demon, _be stronger dan _anyt'in'_ dat walk de earth." He raised his arms and let hot flames curl up to his hands. "In fact, I look to be stronger than ever. Poverty take you unaware. Disaster strike swiftly, before you can react or prepare." Senbei gloated. "Did you little girls recharge your batteries lately? See if you can match _my power_!"

Here and there in the audience, various martial artists were waking up to the idea that this bleach-blond cretin was threatening their favorite teacher. They decided it was time to step up. Suddenly, around the demon and his assistants stood two vampires, a space pirate and an alien imperial princess.

"_Barry_!" screamed Akane-Ayeka, "Form up! We need one more for the hexagram!" She spaced herself across from Beldandy and Urd, while Ukyo-vampiress and Shampoo-Ryoko formed up between Akane and Urd and Akane and Beldandy, respectively.

Barry was already moving. He had not considered the hexagram, but approved of Akane's plan. A splash of cold liquid and the second feminine triad was complete. This had sent Marller packing with only one goddess in the matrix.

Senbei waited until the matrix was active, and then linked arms with his associates. An explosion rocked out from their counter-matrix and everyone was sent flying. The remainder of the audience made room and watched avidly. This _was_ Nerima after all.

Ryoga, left out of the initial attempt, pointed to the floor and struck with his open hand.

"Kokoro Chikyuu!" 'Heart of the Earth', it was one of Ryoga's revised ki moves; one that risked little damage to spectators. The floor rippled in the direction of the hell spawn. Light spewed up from the floor like lava from the cone of a volcano. It enveloped the trio and surged with a roar to the very roof. Ryoga's eyes narrowed as no holes resulted in the ceiling.

Silver glinted and Ryoga reacted instinctively, using his cape as a shield to trap the whirling projectiles that sang out from the center of the flame. Ripping sounds shocked him even before the pain registered. He dropped to one knee and clenched his side. His iron-cloth technique had been perfect! How had bladed weapons cut through his reinforced cloak?

Senbei stepped out of the dying flames as the spinning glinting projectiles returned to be fielded by the demon's hands. He smiled, brandished them and suddenly Urayami and Urami lounged beside their master once more. "Nice move, little man!" the refugee from Hell's Mardi Gras said. "But not dis day." He turned and stalked toward Beldandy and Keiichi who had run to her side after the hexagram blew up.

Ukyo snarled as she threw a table off of her. That bastard had hurt Ryoga! She hadn't developed ki-vision, yet, but they had found her a natural for one particular projective ki-technique. Everyone commented that Ukyo had a real talent for launching her okonomiyaki, sometimes the length of a room, (and once, on a dare, the width of the soccer field) with uncanny accuracy. Okonomiyaki was never wasted between chef and customer.

"Oko…nomi…yaki…" she growled, focusing on the need to do this exactly right, "…SOGU!" (Okonomiyaki Cleaver) She finished on a rising scream, her side arm throw, launching the fruits of her ki-technique toward its target. Anyone familiar with Dragonball Z would have recognized it as Kurrilan's Destructo Disc. Ukyo's version had a few options, however; a variation inspired by her okonomiyaki with special gunpowder paste. If she wanted it to, as it sliced through an object, it could dump ki explosively into the cells it slashed.

It whizzed through at hip level, slicing from Spite to Envy and on through Disaster twisting as it went. It ricocheted off a support beam at 70 degrees from its original attitude and off a high placed steel brace in the ceiling before whining back at the staggering chief demon to slice down from breastbone to hip. Then it blew up.

Barry had just staggered back in through the hole she had made in the concrete wall when Ukyo let fly. "Jeez! Ukyo!" she exclaimed. For some reason, Ukyo's penchant for lethality always shocked her. She shielded herself from the explosion and the expected shower of body parts.

Except there weren't any.

As Ukyo stood, shocked and totally off balance by her failure, the roof beam her disc had weakened gave way, helped along by the gesture and chanting of a totally unharmed Senbei. It fractured and swung by a strip of riveted steel to strike like a huge hammer at the girl. Her eyes widened and she tried to get out of the way, but slipped and skidded, her feet losing purchase on the floor, now strewn with spilled punch and food.

Then Ryoga was there, his shields forming between them and the swinging steel, taking the brunt of the impact, which hurled them both the length of the gym.

"That hurt a mite, little girl," Senbei commented, brushing himself off. His assistants weren't quite as fortunate. Though apparently physically unharmed, their clothing was badly damaged by the cuts and explosion. They started toward the unconscious pair, obviously intent on mayhem.

"Don't get distracted!" Senbei snapped. They returned like kicked dogs, fawning on the master they feared. He advanced on Beldandy and Keiichi once more. Face hardening, Keiichi stood up and blocked the path to Beldandy. Only mortal, with no martial training, he could only bar the way as best he could. Senbei smiled. He negligently snapped his fingers and Akane and Shampoo, taking their stances before the remains of the bleachers where they had been thrown, were suddenly buried by the collapsing structures.

"Hey, Keiichi! You one brave mortal. I be very impressed." He smirked, and Urayami and Urami smirked with him. "But I don' want you' girlfriend. No I don'!" He laughed again. "I want… _you_!"

Keiichi didn't back down, but did look confused. "Why?"

"Because you are de key, Keiichi. You da man!" At his target's continued confusion, the demon added, "De t'ree sisters be a very strong force, but dey alla time outa step wit each udder. You mediate and get dem past de petty arguments. You a good soul and you make dem stronger. If Keiichi be gone, den de sisters, dey be weaker." Senbei smiled almost sadly and raised a glowing palm. "De pah-tey's over, Keiichi."

"Not yet, sucker!"

Barry had slid along the wall listening and looking for weaknesses in the demon's defenses. They weren't martial artists, but they had a superb awareness and defense that negated most ki attacks. She didn't think it would work, but she had one ki attack that had proved at least partially effective in the past; what she had privately begun calling the Aikiharaken, the Strike of Spiritual Awareness.

"Ki-YAH!" The exquisitely painful blows were sent in at Amiguriken speed. Senbei screamed and flew back, and Barry screamed with him. The astonished assistants went left and right from crescent kicks enhanced by the same method. Shuddering, Barry dropped to her knees, tears streaming. There was always a sense of horror in using the technique, as it peeled back all of your self-denials and excuses and laid bare your soul. You were fortunate after using it, if regret was _all_ you felt.

Smoking, face a mask of rage, Senbei staggered to his feet and advanced again, stopping about three meters away. "You wanna try dat again, little girl?" he spat.

"I'm _a guy_, jerk!" Barry snarled. Mimicking Ranma was sometimes an unconscious act.

Senbei's eyebrow went up. "R-r-r-ri-i-ght!"

At the other end of the hall, Hinako suddenly appeared in the doorway. Delayed by the debris from the initial action, she saw the wreck that had been the gym. She saw Ranma facing off against a stranger. She recognized the fallen figures of Urd and Beldandy, her colleagues, and for once recognized the fact that Ranma was not at fault. She raised her coin. That delinquent in the monkey suit was about to get drained.

Senbei smirked. "You tink you can stop me?" He snapped his fingers.

Soun charged out of the doorway. "Miya, I'll protect you!" He lurched into Hinako.

"Happo-go-ju-en-satsu! Urk!" Then Hinako screamed as her child form exploded into adulthood. It wasn't the demon she drained, however. Barry's eyes widened as she felt her strength desert her. As she hit the floor, she heard Senbei cluck in amusement.

"Maybe you know me by de udder moniker; Murphy?" he chuckled. He stepped over her twitching body. Urayami glided past on his heels, but Urami kicked her viciously in the stomach.

Barry's hands crept in to cradle the pain and brushed the imitation sword hilt. To her surprise, power pulsed in the wood. _It_ was intensely alive, despite Hinako's draining blast. As her fingers caressed the wood, energy returned to her. It spoke to her, probing, seeking its purpose, as gentle as a baby's hand and as powerful as a tsunami.

"Der be plenty o' Murphies in de islands…" Barry heard Senbei drawl.

Barry staggered to her feet and oriented on the trio of demons. Beyond them stood Keiichi, face determined, unyielding even in the face of a force that had swept aside five top martial artists as if they were merely inconvenient.

"…but none like me, no!" the demon wagged a finger. "Yo is de weakest link, bro…"

Barry heard its whisper and knew if she yielded to the artifact's urging, she could go home, almost in an instant. It was neither good nor evil, but responded to her wants, revealing and cajoling her to action.

"I cut yo thread, boy, the tapestry… She jus' unravel like rotten cloth."

Ranma could be returned… but only in Barry's body. Such a decision would bind her to this body and its duality. Barry could go home, but would watch his wife grow old and pass on, then his children and their children.

Senbei gloated and tapped a tooth, daring Keiichi to strike, to do something foolish. "You got grits, boy. Not that it do you any good. You act, disaster strikes. You stay still, why, my associates can handle one power-drained little goddess!"

For a mortal to accept what this offered, his love would have to be…

Mortal man faced off against supernatural evil for her sake. His… goddess…

"_Keiichi!"_ She threw the hilt as the demons crouched, surprised at the threat behind them. "Catch! This is _yours_, Keiichi Morisato!"Her heart lurched as Keiichi almost fumbled the catch. He grasped the wooden hilt then and froze as the object whispered to him in sudden eagerness. Keiichi nodded in understanding.

Senbei glanced back and forth between the redhead and the goddess's husband. He stared at the object that Keiichi held before him, comically, in the manner of a cross, held to ward off a theater vampire. "What _dat_ supposed to be?" he snapped. Then he cringed away as the 'hilt' began to glow like an arc lamp. Akane and Shampoo, breaking through the structure of the ruined bleachers froze, shielding their eyes from the glare. Ukyo and Ryoga, startled awake by this event, held each other and winced under the new assault on their senses. Senbei straightened as the glow faded. He swallowed. He had never heard of the balance being restored quite so… abruptly.

Keiichi stood straighter, somehow taller, though he hadn't grown a physical inch. Of the wooden object, there was now no sign, but jewel-like marks of red gleamed at cheek and forehead. Even as they watched, these points swiftly changed to blue, marking Keiichi with the mantle of new-minted immortality. His forehead symbol slowly shaped itself into a divided oval. Keiichi took a deep breath as awareness rocked him to his toes. His gaze caught Senbei like a bug in a jar. "Senbei, remember how you said things were swinging your way?" Keiichi said quietly. "I believe the balance has been restored. Will you leave now, peacefully? Or do I simply wait till your twenty-four hours are up, and mine are not _yet over_?" His voice was like steel.

Senbei swallowed, then laughed. "Sheesh! You one stiff character, hey? Can't take a joke. Well, we see how everyt'in' go when waiting time is over. Should be fun! Make a big pah-tey!" Laughing as falsely as his blond locks, Senbei and his two assistants were gone in a burst of brimstone. Keiichi looked elsewhere as if he could track their progress. With a shimmer then, he lost his blue marks and the hilt once more rested in his hands. He glanced at the carved prop and the three, now blue stones with a sense of wonder and turned to his wife.

"Are you all right, Bel?" he asked, cradling her a little awkwardly with the hilt in the other hand. He absently tucked it in his belt.

Beldandy blinked. Overuse of power was so draining. She jerked, trying to sit up. She had recognized the threat to Keiichi from the moment Senbei had arrived. Her limiters! If she could just… Keiichi was… She stared and reached out to touch invisible marks below his eyes and on his brow. "Kei?" Her voice trembled. The look in her eyes disbelieved his presence before her. He kissed her then. A simple thing of immense tenderness and hope and of promises kept. His forever; hers forever. There was a titanic wrench at the senses.

Barry staggered. She was… They had… She looked around the gym taking stock. There had been a fight. Senbei? Then she remembered everything. Akane and Shampoo picked their way toward her.

"What just happened?" Shampoo asked.

"We just fought Marller's replacement, Amazon." Barry looked around. Ukyo was supporting Ryoga and Barry could see with ki-vision the deep gashes in his side. Anyone else would be in the hospital. Still, it was amazing that even his flinty hide could be damaged that way. Urd rose groggily to her feet.

"Miss Kamiko? What happened to your date?" Barry asked. She started scanning with ki to look for trapped individuals.

"He had to leave earlier," she said absently. She stared intently at Keiichi. "No _way_!" Urd exclaimed. She focused on the long shape stuck in his belt and started grinning. She pointed and looked at Barry. "Did you make that?"

Barry looked embarrassed. "I _tried_ to get your attention, Urd." She stopped. "Oh, shit! Over there!" she pointed.

They circled the weeping Soun who cradled Hinako protectively. "Miya won't wake up," he wailed. Hinako had now been in adult form longer than Ranma's memories had ever noted, and was approaching what Hinako herself claimed was her absolute time limit. Barry scanned, got a puzzled look and scanned again, comparing her to Akane and Shampoo.

She whispered to the goddesses, "There's something wrong with her blood. She tried to drain the demons but caught me and…" she indicated the wooden hilt in Keiichi's belt.

Beldandy felt Hinako's brow. It was cold and getting colder. She shook her head. "What one of us has done can only be undone by that individual," she whispered back. "The… artifact returned her to her normal state. She would have died long ago without Happosai's treatment. It won't be long now."

"Can't we…" Barry and Keiichi spoke in unison then blinked at one another. "I mean you made this. It's really yours," Keiichi added, taking the hilt from his belt and looking at it regretfully. Barry grabbed with both hands… but only to make sure Keiichi didn't let it go.

"_No_!" Then more softly, "No, I made it, but I knew for whom it was destined the minute it started talking to me. There are no accidents, Keiichi! And if I'm right, this is merely a key to open the door to… certain opportunities. You _must _keep it."

Keiichi was looking at the hilt or key, or whatever it was. Suddenly he smiled and chuckled. "Keep your hands on the key," he said. He reached out and touched Hinako's forehead in imitation of Beldandy. Barry felt in the contact a hint of the aching drain she had experienced earlier. Then it changed and grew warm rather than the cold she had felt before. Yet not even with ki-vision did she observe anything overtly happening. But Hinako's blood, so lifeless and insufficient was growing stronger. Her heart, so weak, began to beat more quickly, more energetically. Her bones altered subtly and the blood surged with energy as each breath brought new life into the woman's body.

Keiichi sagged, gasping and dizzy. Urd suddenly was helping Beldandy to support him. "Now you know how Bel feels when she pulls your chestnuts out of the fire," she whispered. Barry made sure Keiichi remained in contact with the key until he could tuck it back into his belt.

Keiichi laughed shakily. "_That's_ something I couldn't do before."

Soun continued to wail his misery. Akane had been hugging her father, trying to reassure him and puzzled by his stammering words about Miss Hinako. Shampoo was focused on Akane. Ukyo was focused on stopping Ryoga from bleeding all over the gymnasium. She got the wounds in his side bound up, but all the action had disintegrated her netting and the suit didn't quite fit right without it. Ryoga groaned. His nose was never gonna be the same.

"Oooh…!"

Soun's wailing stopped. "Miya?" Miya!" He almost started to shake her, but caught himself.

"Oh, Soun… What happened?" She blinked and tried to focus. "How long have I been out?" she asked with more energy.

"Well, you tried to ki-drain a supernatural creature, Miss Hinako," Barry injected. "Not the smartest thing ya ever done."

"Ranma? Remind me to ki-drain you later. Much later." She took another couple of deep breaths. "Then again, I do feel surprisingly good."

"Hinako-sensei sound different, too," offered Shampoo. "Usually sound like Amazon drill instructor when you like this."

"How long _was _I out?" she asked again, stronger. Soun scooped her up over her perfunctory protests.

Barry looked at the clock. It was busted at 9:25. Does anybody really know what time it is? she sang out in English. Everyone groaned.

Urd touched her wristwatch. "It's 9:58," she informed them. Hinako stared.

"I make it at least twenty-five minutes since ya went down, Miss H," Barry offered. "A new record, based on what ya told me. I don't see ya goin' chibi, again. Think it might last?" She rolled her eyes toward Keiichi, who was getting some color back. He nodded imperceptibly.

Hinako bit her lip and gazed possessively at Soun. "I think I'd like to find out." She planted a warm kiss on Soun's lips.

Barry shook her head. 'Who'd a thought. Them, for heaven's sake!'

"Okay, people!" Hinako said, releasing and sliding down, her long-legged adult form almost indecent in the now short dress. "Let's have the voting for Best Costume and get this place cleaned up!"

Barry smacked her forehead. She had forgotten about the contest completely in all the excitement. She looked at Keiichi, Shampoo and Akane and got a sudden smile. "Hey, Keiichi, anyone ever tell ya how much ya look like Tenchi in that get up?"

"Who?" Keiichi said. It seemed he didn't watch much animé, either.

* * *

Beldandy and Urd thought Keiichi looked cute surrounded by a fawning Ayeka and Ryoko, with maniacal Washu nattering away around them. 

"Very natural, don't you think?" Urd asked her sister.

But Ryoga and Ukyo stole the show. As Ukyo stood on the platform to accept congratulations, many of the young men began to call out, asking the name of the 'babe' and her phone number. Ukyo's eyes narrowed. This was particularly galling because she wasn't even masked. The remains of her suit were held together with safety pins. She stepped up to the microphone. "Prices just went up at Ucchan's," she drawled. There was dead silence.

"_Ukyo?"_

She winced at the universal expression of surprise and the bulging eyes. Maybe she should have remained anonymous.

* * *

"Barry? Are you comfortable?" 

Cologne's raspy voice sounded loud in the kitchen of the Nekohanten. It was Saturday. They were using the combined advice and research of a displaced horse trainer, a cross-dressing ninja, a Joketsuzoku Matriarch, three kami and four top-level martial artists to return Ranma Saotome to the body he was born with. It might have been five kami had Keiichi the experience of his wife and sisters-in-law. Only the horse trainer knew of their influence, however, and he would be taking that knowledge with him.

Barry relaxed as best he could on the thin mattress that covered the top of a stainless steel table normally used for food preparation. On the floor, radiating away from the makeshift operating table was chalked a curious design of loosely braided lines. It vaguely resembled Celtic art or an attempt to depict the legendary Gordian knot. The two lines began and ended beneath the body of the young man on the table and represented the tangled lines of the astral body. Too bad you couldn't deal with this knot the way the original had been dealt with.

Cologne sidled up to the table then hopped up to perch on its edge. Barry winked at her. As she had when they had released Shampoo and her sisters from the demon blocking their projective ki, Cologne would act as warden, advisor and anchor for the ritual to come. The marks on her face signified the kami Urd, Norn of the Past. "Perhaps I can have Mousse get a pillow. You're going to be lying there, for a while."

"Thanks, but that isn't necessary, Granny," Barry said. She tapped him almost gently on the head in rebuke. He smirked and watched as Akane and Shampoo consulted and added lines to the pattern on the floor. Shampoo replaced Akane as the scout; the egg-shaped blue marks around a golden center were the emblem of Skuld, Norn of the Future. As Akane had before, she would observe the results of the operator's actions and advise them on the options available. Her new ki-vision was sharp, and she had taken to training almost alarmingly well.

The two girls rose and stretched, working the kinks out. They'd been at the preparations since 4:00 A.M. Akane glanced around at the intricacy of the pattern she and Shampoo had drawn and shuddered. "I… I can't _do_ this!" she whined. "I don't have the patience." Akane was going to be the operator this time around. The blue paint on her cheeks and forehead glistened. She did not much resemble Beldandy in her serenity or confidence, yet.

"What you have is better," Barry told her. "You have determination."

"You mean, pig-headed stubbornness," Nabiki offered, wandering past. True to her word, she had returned from the university to watch the procedure and support her sister. Now she tried to hide her anticipation and concern by circling their diagram and offering mild verbal barbs at all available targets.

"No, that's Ryoga," Akane snickered, refusing to rise to her shot.

"Hey!" objected Ukyo, from her seat against the wall. "Ryoga's nice." Her mouth snapped shut as a slender hand touched her lightly on the arm. The chef glanced at Nodoka sitting next to her then subsided.

"Just remember that advice is a resource, like a bibliography or a text book," Barry reminded Akane. "_You _make the final decision, so consider everything carefully and make use of your teammates' abilities."

Nabiki leaned on the table. "Any other last words, Barry?"

"Don't make it sound like an execution, Nabs," he replied crossly. He eyed Akane. Soon she would be under tremendous pressure. She was already strung as tight as a bow. They needed to change that, before she got started. He thought a moment before his eyes widened. "Okay…" He pointed at Akane. "Remember that discussion we had about acting?" Akane made a face. "Oh, no! I saw your face when our two mad perverts of Furinken announced the audition for Nutcracker Suite."

"What?" Akane exclaimed. "What does that have to do with…?"

"She always did have the acting bug, Barry. Pitiful, isn't it?" Nabiki chuckled, picking up on his lead. 'Way to go, Nabiki!'

Her cycle of brooding was broken by a subject she and Barry had argued over for the last few days once they had determined that a return was possible. He had avoided it before, but had finally made a few biting comments that had brought their opinions into conflict. "Everyone knows the tabloids and scandal sheets are a pack of lies!"

Barry turned back to Nabiki. "So sad," he said.

"Yes; terminal brain damage," Nabiki suggested. "I have to admit I only caught her trying to break concrete with her forehead a few times, but…"

"Excuse me?" Akane's eyebrows came down.

"Poor Ranma," sighed Barry. He 't'ched'.

"W-w-what?" Akane paled then purpled. "I can't believe you _said_ that! I would never…"

"I know what you mean, Barry-san," Nabiki smirked, "and after a few serious maimings, poor Ranma will have to learn martial arts legal briefs just to keep up!"

"I… what?" Akane blinked.

"Naah! That's what big sisters are for, Nabs," Barry said glibly, shifting course midstream.

"Huh?" Nabiki said intelligently. Her eyes narrowed.

"That's also what I meant about using your teammates' abilities, Akane," Barry switched directions and changed subjects now that she was distracted. "Ranma tackling million-yen per hour lawyers because of the perverts you pulverize is ridiculous. That's more Nabiki's line of work. If ya want tips on being a model housewife and mother, ask Kasumi." He reached out and patted Akane's hand. "Now you've been well seasoned in ki techniques and you've been in one of these rituals before. Listen to Cologne. Take advice from Shampoo. Do your best." He smiled easily at her. "I'll miss you, you know. I hope I have a daughter like you some day."

"I _hope_ you're independently wealthy," muttered Nabiki, frowning. The idea of taking on million _yen_ per hour lawyers didn't appeal to her…yet.

"Would you mind having a daughter like me, Barry?" Shampoo asked suddenly. She had been circling them and double checking their blueprint on the floor. This was the end of the preparation.

"Before or after you decided to stop being a bimbo?"

"Whatever Barry mean?" Shampoo ducked close and purred into his ear. "I no change."

"_Ack!_" He shivered away from her and rubbed the short hairs on his neck, glaring reproachfully. Akane and Nabiki laughed. "When the IQ of a son or daughter exceeds that of the parents by more than thirty points, the parents are in trouble," he grumbled.

"How do you calculate that, Barry," inquired Cologne.

"Experience," he said shortly. "My son, in fact." His eyes glowed. "Are we ready yet? I have all these reasons to get going and everyone is standing around! The sooner Ranma's back, the sooner I can go home!"

"Ranma," breathed Nodoka. Like Nabiki, she was a spectator here. She had left her sword at Ucchan's, fairly certain that Genma would not take it from there. Besides, it was possible that Ukyo might be Ranma's sister soon. It was agreed by all that she was his best friend. Who better to entrust the sword to, till Ranma returned? Briefly, she thought of Genma, Natsume and Kurumi. She hoped he wasn't getting his daughters into trouble while this procedure was going on. She glanced at her latest prospective daughter-to-be.

Ukyo was jittering in her seat. She would have been pacing, but Cologne had threatened to charge her for the ruts in the floor. She thought back over the last few days and winced. Friday at Ucchan's it had been a mad house. Young men, mostly fellow Furinken students and a few from nearby schools who had heard by grapevine had all come to buy her okonomiyaki and hit on her. Hmmph! Well, they could just be disappointed today! Ukyo was thankful that she wasn't really part of this. She didn't envy Akane her expertise in ki manipulations at all! No siree! If Ranma got back, she would cheer like everyone else. If, Kamisama forbid, Ranma didn't make it, she could grieve and get on with her life. Shampoo would probably get on with _he_r life. Akane… Ukyo had almost choked when Barry and Nabiki began provoking her. The chef just wished this were all over, one way or the other. She glanced at the table where Ranma's body lay, catching the eye of the current occupant.

Barry glanced at her, winked, then pursed his lips and looked toward the ceiling. Dammit! Was he looking for a _fight_? He'd done the same thing when her costume ambushed her Thursday night. After Hinako came to, they'd gone on with the Halloween dance despite the damages. She hunched her shoulders as a twitch shivered across her breasts. If anybody had harbored doubts about her gender, they were history now! The safety pins had done a rather inadequate job repairing her costume before the judging. She still remembered the 'ping' of the one that let go as she stood before the entire school on the stage. Damn that Gosunkugi anyway, with his brand new camera. He's gotten a good shot of her just as it happened.

Barry chuckled. He couldn't help himself. He was nervous as hell and he'd been turned into an adrenaline junkie by events here in Nerima. Twitting Ukyo was just a continuation of it. When in doubt, start a fight! This past week, he had been impressed by Akane's control. She had been getting much better at keeping her cool. As it had grown closer to this day, he had teased her unmercifully. He excused himself by claiming it was training to benefit Ranma. But in fact, only Nodoka and the kami had been spared his wit, or lack thereof. Poor Miss Hinako had been one of his latest victims.

The woman had gone thirteen hours and twenty-three minutes as an adult, the longest she ever had in her life, when Barry began teasing her during lunch on Friday. It had been pretty childish, he had to admit: the old 'Miya and Soun, sittin' inna tree…' She had turned beet red and whipped out her coin by reflex. He had been drained. She had reverted to her ten-year-old form and nearly had a conniption. He had, groggily, as she stammered in horror, suggested releasing the ki to revert and it had worked! Careful experimentation had revealed Hinako reverted to her youthful state as a consequence of her technique, losing it again in about fifteen to twenty minutes. Hinako was relieved. Principal Kuno was exhausted. He had made a good test subject after he suggested that Hinako couldn't 'discipline de delinquents no more'.

Barry was puzzled by Soun's sudden interest. It had obviously predated the transformation, if only by hours. Had the senior Tendo been so nervous previously, for fear of somehow harming the memory of his dead wife? Or had it merely been that Hinako's youthful appearance raised forbidden subjects? Barry shrugged thoughtfully. He would probably never know now. He hoped it would work out. His thoughts ceased their wandering as finally, Cologne called them to order.

"All right, everyone, this is going to be a _very_ involved procedure," Cologne stated. "Based on Barry-san's observations and confirmed by every test I could perform, the astral lines have become tangled. I'm not certain how this occurred, but an analogy could be two fishing lines cast and crossing, that become entangled. In the initial attempts to correct this…No, don't interrupt, Barry… the problem became worse, because the attempts were done in ignorance. We now essentially have a ball of twine that, _if _it was _merely_ fishing line, you would simply cut away and get back to your fishing. There are, unfortunately, two additional problems: First, our two fishermen, in trying to solve their problem, have traded poles back and forth, and now have trouble identifying their own rods."

"Hey! That sounds pretty rude ya know!" (WACK!) "Ow!"

Cologne's glare at Barry turned into a smirk and a chuckle. "Scamp!" The ladle in her hand had worked well in place of her staff. "Second," she continued, "the fishing lines are elastic, malleable, fragile and under stress. If we are not very careful, we can weaken or break those lines. If we do, we will probably lose both Barry and Ranma. The shock of breaking one will almost certainly destroy the other." She nodded at the stillness in the room. "We are also running out of time," the Matriarch added. "The interaction between the two strands is damaging them both. The longer we delay, the more dangerous the procedure will be. We must reduce the strain _now_, or lose them both in no more than a week."

Akane took in a shuddering breath, eyes huge. She trembled perceptibly. Cologne nodded understandingly at her. Suddenly, everything was in perspective. It was no longer about what she _might_ do to Ranma and Barry. If she failed to act, they _would_ die. Her breathing deepened and she began to gather her focus.

Barry gulped, suddenly cold in his place on the table. He forced himself to turn his head to Akane, catch her eyes and smile confidently. His head tilted and eyebrows raised and fell. 'Watcha waitin' for, tomboy?' went unspoken between them. He found himself reassured by what he saw in return.

Nodoka turned to Ukyo. "Why didn't they discover this condition before?" she asked. The fishingline analogy had been vivid and simple. Unfortunately, it made the problem seem likewise.

"Auntie..." Ukyo sought for reference. "I don't think there is a human in the world who can actually use ki vision right. There's too much information." She chewed on her lip. In a way, you have to be able to at least imagine it before you can _see_ it. It's so different from the physical world. It's like moving through a room of thickly packed glass sculptures of different shapes, sizes, colors - you can look through things and never notice them, while odd things sometimes stand out if the 'light' hits them right." She looked apologetic. "I can't really explain it."

Nodoka patted her hand. "You did fine dear," she comforted. She shook her head. these children were practically living in an entirely different world. She prayed they could walk its paths well enough to bring her son back.

* * *

Four hours later, Akane took a brief respite while Mousse served them beverages to help restore them. They took no food. They could not leave their positions for anything, until they were finished. Mousse murmured words of encouragement, which she nodded to, too tired to speak unless required. Shampoo croaked thanks when Mousse served her, earning her a glare from Cologne. The ancient woman seemed like a rock; Impassive and enduring, but Akane could see that her reserves were as depleted as everyone else's. 

"How's it going, tomboy?" whispered Barry. The operation reminded him of a televised brain surgery he had seen once. The patient had remained awake to tell the surgeon what he felt during parts of the procedure.

"I've cleared some of the tangle, Barry, but it's so bad! And some of the strands are trying to merge… or something. They stick together like glue! I hate the way they stretch when I pull them apart."

Barry frowned. "_Damn_!" he exclaimed. Then, "Sorry, sorry. This isn't a time for cursing. I almost wish you knew the Nekoken. Those ki-claws don't _have_ to cut. There's a way of rounding them into probes..."

"I can try that!" Akane interrupted him as she worked out some kinks. "I picked up the Nekoken when Kodachi almost drowned you. I was in Ranma-form from the pool and had to get those chains and tape off so we could save you." She was taken aback at the look he gave her.

"You… picked it up?"

She nodded. "Yes. That's how I broke your chains," she explained.

"Ranma is gonna _kill_ me!" Barry groaned. His eyes focused on her like twin lasers. "You have no idea what you've let yerself in for. I left an explanation in my journal for Ranma. Neko doesn't just give you ki claws and reflexes. Nekoken enhances taste, smell and hearing. It also makes ya…" his voice became uneasy as he strove for the right words to explain the circumstances, "more sensitive to certain odors and more aware of yer body."

"I've sort of noticed that," Akane admitted. "But why does it worry you so?"

Shampoo, who had caught part their quick exchange, broke in. "Akane! When Barry teach you Nekoken! How?" Cologne and Mousse gasped at this statement. On the sidelines, Nodoka, Nabiki and Ukyo paled.

Akane jerked and spun half around. "He _didn't_ teach me! When Hiroshi and Daisuke pulled Barry out of the pool, we couldn't start resuscitating him until we got the chains off. I needed to do it, so I did, and doing it showed me how it would work with my ki."

"Oh, _joy_!" the ancient woman muttered. "That means you may have it…" she almost glared at Shampoo, "and the people who drained the Furinken pool may, inadvertently, now have a way of training people on how to learn and use the technique." She stamped her foot, having discarded her staff before the ritual had begun. "_Wonderful_!"

Barry's eyes rolled. "Don't forget about Satsuke and Kodachi," he reminded them.

Akane's face went pale. "Omigod! Kodachi in _neko_?"

"The Black Rose with the sensibilities of a cat in heat," Barry confirmed. They all shuddered. "Ranma's _really _gonna kill me!"

"If someone has Satsuke's number, I'll call him," offered Ukyo, jumping to her feet. "He's the one who's handling business for the Kuno's these days."

"It's in my wallet," Barry informed her, nodding to Nodoka. Ranma's mother pulled the item out of her sash and rummaged through it.

"Here you are, dear." She handed the slip of paper to the chef and Ukyo leaped over to the phone to call, Cologne grating suggestions after her on how this should be handled.

With Cologne listening for relayed messages from Ukyo and the others distracted, Barry whispered to Akane. "Tell Ranma when he gets back, that my journal is 'where his hopes are'. If nothin' else, make sure he reads the Nekoken section to you."After that, Barry closed his eyes and pondered the ramifications of this latest development.

* * *

"All right, now!" Half an hour later, Cologne clapped her hands to gain their attention. The Kunos had been warned and Nabiki had put the word out to try to find out what had happened to the water from the pool. "The excitement is over! Let's see if we can't finish this up! Akane dear, how much further do you think we have to go?" 

Akane sighed. "Maybe twice as long as we've gone so far." She brightened. "But it may go faster with the neko enhancement." She glanced expectantly at Barry.

"I said I wished you _knew_ neko… Before this started, I mean," he said.

"You don't think I can learn how to do this?" Akane demanded, frowning.

"No! It's just that it'll take too long to learn it well enough to safely use it! I've been messing with it almost constantly since I got stuck here. We don't have time!"

"How about using Direct Impression?" Akane tossed out.

"Akane!" Barry was flustered to say the least. Since they began the ki training, no one had been able to endure the sensation of what they had chosen to call Direct Impression long enough to learn anything useful. It didn't hurt, exactly, but it was such an invasion of privacy that all their subsequent training had been done through observation on the part of an individual followed by self-experiment and guesswork. Direct Impression had been relegated to the dustbin of their training concepts. In theory it could work, but…

"I want Ranma back, Barry," Akane growled. "If neko offers a way…"

"Of course it offers a way!" he snapped. "I could never have dislodged that demon from Shampoo and the girls without it. But, Akane… You've done pretty well, so far. Can't you try to keep going without it? We've never actually confirmed you can pick up techniques that way." Barry looked pained.

"I thought you picked up Ryoga's Bakusai Tenketsu through Direct Impression?" Akane eyed him, lips thin. The irritation was obvious.

"Not that way. I ended up observing from very close range." He sighed. "What you're asking for is essentially an overlapping of our ki so that you… 'shadow-box' my techniques at every level. Do you really want to try something like that in the middle of this much stress?"

Akane wasn't backing down. "What if I decide down the road, that I need it?"

"We'll see. Let's not borrow trouble."

* * *

Five hours later, Akane stepped back with a growl of frustration. "Barry, I'm going to _need_ those neko-techniques," Akane told him. He stared at her a bit resentfully. "You want to get back to Gwen, right?" she added, the tension and frustration of the past sixteen hours or so of preparation and ki-manipulation showing through in an almost bitter comment.

"I'd like to be certain you're not too tired to keep going, Akane." Barry shifted on the table. Amazing how horribly stiff you could feel after ten hours on your back.

"Quit making excuses, Barry."

"Let's do an overall assessment, shall we?" Cologne injected. "What you're doing, child, may be necessary, but it may also be rash to attempt under the circumstances." She remained calm even though Akane half-turned toward her, her lips coming back in a snarl.

"Akane?" Shampoo caught her attention. "Please listen to them."

Akane heard Shampoo's hoarse voice and met her eyes before slumping slightly. She finally nodded. "You're right. When I'm wound up like this, I poison people with my cooking and send Ranma through the roof for no good reason at all." Akane clenched her fists, then relaxed them, stretching her fingers out straight and shaking them. "Shampoo, please check Barry over carefully. You, too, Mousse. Then I want you to explain what you see to Cologne." Akane took a deep calming breath, releasing it smoothly. "I'll try to keep quiet till you're done. Then we'll see how we go on."

"What about me?" Barry asked.

"You shut up," Akane told him shortly. "I'm sorry," she added almost tearfully, "but I want to hear from everyone else first. If I decide to go on, then you and I can scream at each other till we agree on what to do." She turned as Nabiki sauntered over. As she was not part of the ritual her presence did not help or hinder what they did, provided she didn't damage or alter the symbols drawn on the floor. She leaned on the edge of the table and gazed thoughtfully at Ranma's guest while the Amazon contingent conferred.

"So, it's boiled down to an all or nothing proposition?" she asked. Barry sighed and nodded. "That's about par for the course. Don't worry, Barry," she added. "I've seen this time after time and it always works out somehow."

"Everything always works out," he said glibly, "…till it doesn't."

"At least you don't have to worry about my backup plans now."

"Ahhh. The silver lining in the cloud!" Barry tried to smirk as if in appreciation of his narrow escape. It was pretty ghastly. "Watcha think of Miss H?" he asked to distract himself.

"I'm glad I'm out of the house," Nabiki said darkly. "Though if she'd been around, maybe the dojo wouldn't have taken so much damage from you over-powered idiots."

"Silver linings…" they said together. The snickers were more honest, this time.

"Could you imagine? Shampoo crashes through the wall: "Nihau, Airen—ZZZZZZzzzzzz!" Nabiki mock-snored.

"Or Ryoga? " Barry countered. "Ranma prepare to—ZZZZzzzzz!"

"Will you two be serious over there?" snapped Akane. Barry sighed. Akane needed to relax or she'd be of no use to anyone.

"Try to relax, Akane!" Barry suggested. "Sing or something. You have a sweet voice."

"H-h-h…?" Akane gulped and turned eyes huge. "Where did that come from?"

"I always liked your voice when you were singing out in the woods. So did Ranma. I never could get him to admit it, but then, Ranma's like that."

"Come on, Akane," Nabiki added encouragingly. "Why not sing? I'd like to hear you two, myself."

Akane finally let them talk her into it. They started with some of Akane's bubblegum music and Akane was forced to correct him, frequently, on the lyrics. He switched to American show tunes. Akane knew most of _Oklahoma_ and some of _Guys and Dolls_. She also knew '_Where Do I Begin…_' from the movie _Romeo and Juliet_, but they didn't sing that — too personal. He asked if she knew '_Memories_' from Weber's _Cats_ and got a shock. Apparently, in that universe, Andrew Lloyd Weber had never produced his many musicals. "You poor benighted heathens," he teased affectionately. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Nabiki get her tape recorder.

He taught Akane the lyrics for pieces from _Jesus Christ Superstar_, _Phantom_ and finally '_Memories_' from _Cats_. Afterwards he glanced at Nabiki with her tape recorder and whispered "softie," at her. Nabiki was trying to wipe away tears from her cheeks unnoticed. Across the room, Nodoka and Ukyo were similarly shaken.

Cologne interrupted. "That's very beautiful, Barry, and nicely done to calm Akane after such a trying period." She nodded to them both. "I understand your reservations, Barry, but our consensus is that Akane will have a much greater chance of success if she has the technique."

Barry and Akane's eyes met. "Let's get this over with, then," the former said, acknowledging that he was outvoted. The technique required some degree of physical contact. Their right hands met and meshed. After a moment to balance, they merged their auras. It was not comfortable. It was not tantalizing. It was as brutal as the avalanche on the mountain, or drowning in the pool, or meeting the gaki with their unshielded bodies.

Barry immediately suspected that they were too deep, but there was no second chance in this. Quickly, he began running through the neko-techniques, feeling Akane match him. It was so different from working with Ranma's girl-type. Akane had been a girl all her life and had a certain innate 'feminine modesty'. Besides that, she was a little afraid of him, especially with respect to the Nekoken. There was also an issue of dominance involved, headstrong Akane matching Barry's years and self-confidence. Then there was the matter of shared consciousness, the undercurrent of things they wished to keep concealed.

When it was over, Akane stepped back, stressed from the interaction. She released his hand suddenly and swallowed hard. She picked up a lot more than Nekoken, whether Barry knew it or not, but she had no intention of letting him know that.

Barry was in similar straights. The technique was entirely too personal. He knew Akane had gotten something from him. His own acquisition of many of Akane's fears, wants, desires and habits were more than even any husband had a right to know and some had surprised him. The sooner he was out of here, the better. "Let's get this over with, sweetheart," he told her shakily. "I think I've overstayed my welcome."

She nodded in agreement and, after Shampoo and Cologne were prepared, began.

* * *

Ranma sighed. Gwen served a special dinner for two at a small round table in their living room. Candlelight made him nervous, but Gwen was her friendly, smiling self, a sight Ranma was beginning to appreciate. He would love to have Akane acting like this around him. Gwen understood teasing, for one thing, and gave as good as she got. Like Akane, she was thoughtful and tried to help him whenever she saw a need. 

"Happy birthday, dear," Gwen said. After clearing off the dinner dishes, she placed a small cake on the table before him. It had a candle on top, waiting for him to blow out. He did.

He was a little stunned. Why hadn't he remembered that Barry's birthday fell so quickly after his son's? He grinned in minor anticipation. "Do I get presents?"

"Remember? We're celebrating your birthday on Sunday, at your mother's." She took in the sigh and smiled. "Don't worry. I have something special for you a little later."

He was still wondering what she meant when he was getting ready for bed. He had taken a shower earlier before 'dressing for dinner' and now was stretched back in the bed, comfortable and beginning to doze off. There was a nightlight near the entry to the bedroom so that Gwen could find her way back from the bathroom without stubbing her toes.

He felt really bad still being here through Barry's birthday and not having told Gwen what was really happening. There had been some awful close calls with her and he didn't think he could hold her off much longer without harming Barry's marriage. She wanted, needed and deserved her husband's full attention. Resolutely, he decided to tell her tonight. He was still safe and, if he could convince her quickly, she might even forgive his silence on the subject the last few days. Yes! He'd tell her tonight!

"Hello, darling." Sultry tones caressed his eardrums and woke up a libido that begged to be released. He looked up.

Gwen stood, backlit by the nightlight, in a lacy gauzy bit of mist that might barely fit the requirements of being called cloth. It fell off her shoulders from two spaghetti straps and fit loosely (easy access, some part of him said) to mid thigh. It didn't hide a single thing. She inhaled impressively.

"You… you… you…" he said intelligently.

"Me… me… me…" she sang back at him mockingly.

"You're almost naked!" he accused. Suddenly, he was catching on. His little present, later… He froze as she glided over to the bed and pounced on him, bringing salient features within easy reach of lips, hands and other things. All he had to do was sacrifice his principles.

"You noticed," she smiled seductively, "What are you going to do about it?"

She didn't wait for his answer, but embraced him and began a methodical and knowledgeable attack on all his senses. Her hands ripped at the T-shirt and boxers he wore, then she squirmed and her feet came into play, attacking the elastic band of the shorts as she straddled him, pinning him to the bed. He tried to push her off, but Barry's body was betraying him, its movements not matching his intent, instead drawing her into closer, more intimate contact.

"G-gh-gh-ghk!" he managed, trying to inform her that she really didn't want to do this. "G-g-_gwen_!" Kamisama! If he did this, Barry would never forgive him. Akane would never, _never_ forgive him, and Ranma would be _really_… screwed. Oh, _MAN_! He tried to get some space to tell her but she was having none of it this night!

"Please," he heard her murmur, "…please, don't stop, Barry! I _need _you!"

What the hell was he going to do? '_Akane!_' he screamed silently. 'Get me outa here!'

* * *

Akane probed, her lips now a thin line on her face. It was nearly 9:00 P.M. and she had been manipulating the astral strands for more than twelve hours now. The probes had been particularly helpful when disentangling strands that were elastically merging. Had she used force instead of leverage, she believed they would have snapped and ended everything. She worked diligently on this tangle caught by another loop of the astral lines. It resisted before suddenly slipping free, energy spilling off it like water from a plucked harp-string. 

"Akane!" Shampoo screamed. "Dampen vibration! Strands too weak!"

Akane's aura blazed as she reached fingers of ki to absorb and counter the energy that sang through the threads. Those same fingers stroked, trying to heal and strengthen weak points even as Barry had healed her damaged ki after the demon had attacked weeks before. Slowly, the strands responded, healing and relaxing. She looked at the result, blinked and looked again. What the hell?

The lines were no longer knotted. Instead, there were two lines of astral force wrapped firmly around one another. She remembered Barry's string analogy and Cologne's fishermen. The lines went out, looped about twice and continued on their merry ways. How did that happen?

"Good job, Akane!" Shampoo enthused. "Lines much stronger now."

"Yes, but…" She gave it another once over. "How can we untangle this?"

They informed Cologne what they'd observed. "That's very interesting," she said finally. "We just don't know enough. We don't even know why the lines became so entangled in the first place." She scanned the recumbent figure, sighed and rubbed out a line on the diagram, effectively breaking the wards. "I think it's time to step back and evaluate. At least you've bought them more time, Akane."

"I'm _so_ sorry, Ranma," Akane tearfully whispered to her absent love. She looked at the familiar face worn by another, and noticed Barry was out cold.

"That snap at the end there must have been rough on him," Cologne observed. "I'm going to rest up and think on this. Why don't you young people go do something frivolous to unwind?" She glared then. "And I don't mean more ki-techniques. Give it a rest! Find one of your silly animé and watch a couple of hours of brain fluff! Keep it light."

They looked at one another, nonplussed. What to do?

"Leave it to me," suggested Nabiki. She smiled easily. "I know just the thing…"


	54. Karaoke Bride

**Guest Ki: Chapter 53**

_**Karaoke Bride**_

"How about we just catch up on our sleep?" asked Barry nervously. He eyed Akane's sister with trepidation. They had been ordered to relax and unwind. Nabiki had plans on how they might do that. Nabiki's plans were often exactly what she said they were, provided you accounted for the point-of-view. Nabiki's, that is. Akane's sister smirked at his expression.

"You wound me," Nabiki said with a hint of reproach. "This is just a minor setback. You guys will figure it out! Meanwhile, live a little."

Akane and Shampoo stared at her, shocked to their cores. Ukyo jumped to her feet. "How can you say something like that?" she demanded.

"Easy," Nabiki returned. "You people have been burning the candles at both ends for what? Nearly four months now?" They nodded numbly. "You have actually found out how you can exchange places and have taken steps to facilitate it. Right?"

"Pardon me for sounding like something out of _Pirates of Penzance_ but, 'I just didn't go'!" Barry shouted at her.

"Exactly! To which I add — _not yet_!" Nabiki grew thoughtful. "Actually, this is the first time that Ranma hasn't involved in the solution of one of his problems. Maybe we need cooperation from his end?"

"Huh?" She even had Cologne looking puzzled over that comment.

"Let me put it this way. In four months, Barry assembled a team of researchers and trained them until they were capable of correcting the mistake on this end." Nabiki patted his arm. "He had the advantage of being known by those who were helping him and having the skills inherent in the body he inhabits. Ranma went to your world without any introduction at all, to a body untrained in martial arts and ki manipulation."

Barry nodded. "I think I see what you're getting at. In four months, he'd be working totally alone, unless…" Barry suddenly looked at Akane. "Unless he tried to find his own analogue in my world to help him!"

"Providing Ranma exists in your world," Nabiki modified the idea, "and if Ranma found our analogues and convinced them to help him, it still might take more time. Whatever! Maybe he's simply not ready on his end yet?"

They stared at one another.

Cologne struck the floor a few times with her staff to get their attention. "What did I just tell you about this?" She glared. "Though, to be honest, it is a rather interesting concept," she added. "It is still just as likely that Ranma is stuck in Barry's comatose body."

"But—!" Barry objected.

"You have to admit, Barry-san, "the old woman said meeting his eyes, "your accident was serious enough that you even thought you were a ghost, at first." He nodded, numbly. "As there are any number of possibilities, and we have no way of verifying which ones are correct…" She waved them closer. They leaned toward her for her words of wisdom. "_You should all give it a rest so you can come back to it fresh!_ " They winced and held their ears to stop them from ringing. She hadn't even used a megaphone! Even Nodoka flinched back from her bellow. It was truly amazing the volume that little, withered body could put out.

"Ummm… What was that idea, Nabiki?" Barry said, shaken.

"Ever hear of karaoke?" Nabiki smirked.

* * *

It turned into a weird sort of party. Kasumi, Nabiki, Akane, Soun, Ninomiya Hinako, Ukyo, Ryoga, Akari, Shampoo, Mousse, Natsume, Kurumi, Genma, Nodoka and Barry all going out for some entertainment. Ling-Ling, Lung-Lung and Cologne did not go; the latter deciding her two most recent protégé's did not need exposed to this facet of decadent western culture. It was a nightclub… sort of. It had dancing, it had drinks and a bar but no one under twenty could order alcohol. It reminded Barry of some of the under-21 clubs back home, except alcohol was served to over-the-age-limit adults. It, of course, had karaoke and there, everyone was welcome. And Nabiki was pushing him to try it.

"Well, why not?" she drawled. "You have a nice voice. We all heard that at the Nekohanten."

"C'mon, Nabs! I'm a martial artist, not an idol singer," Barry complained. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Genma nod approvingly.

"Since when can you sing, Ranma?" A new voice made itself known, and Ryu Kumon stopped at their table. He looked over at Natsume and suddenly became interested in his toes. Kurumi jabbed her sister's side with an elbow, but to no avail. The hearts in her eyes were obvious.

"Of course I can sing, Ryu!"

Ukyo looked over and almost gagged. She nudged the person beside her, Akari, to get her attention. Akari, perfectly comfortable with being elbowed, looked and giggled. She nudged Ryoga and he turned and looked and didn't notice a thing, aside from Barry and Ryu getting into some kind of argument. He was still trying to get a whispered explanation of what happened at the ritual from Nabiki. She was ignoring him, determined to get Barry up on stage. Akari made a disgusted face at him. "Can't you see what's going on?" she said in a stage whisper.

Ryoga looked at Natsume. The girl seemed spaced out. "I thought they didn't allow underage people to drink here?"

"She's not drunk!" snapped Akari. Ryoga jerked. Akari? Snapping at _him_? He looked again. "Look at that boy!" she specified.

"Ryu?" Ryoga asked. He saw the other man who, when not growling at Barry, was beginning to turn red and digging a hole in the flooring with his toe. He glanced occasionally at Natsume and ignored everyone else present. The idiot looked just like Ranma always did around Akane when he… Ryoga began to smile. He still had trouble with mathematics, and his social skills were only beginning to normalize after years of enforced solitude because of the family curse, but he wasn't quite as thick as he acted. Besides, this had all sorts of opportunities for mischief and Ryoga had had a run in with Ryu a few months back that needed payback. Not damage, maybe, but payback. "Why don't you two settle your argument by a duel?" he suggested.

Barry blinked and turned to Ryoga. "Are you nuts?" he shouted over the noise. "Why not simply ask the entire Defense Force for a visit? It would cause less damage!"

"No, I mean a duel of words. Singing to be specific!" He turned to Ryu. "Kumon, if you plan on criticizing Ranma, you must feel you have some experience?"

Ryu looked at him, then turned and looked at the stage and the karaoke machine standing there. At the present, two girls were performing a duet, enthusiastically if not very melodiously. People danced to the music and occasionally shouted encouragement to the pair. Ryu turned back, his face as grim as if he were about to confront fifty bloodthirsty ninja with a contract on his head. "Saotome?" he growled.

Barry glared at Ryoga. "I'll get you for this." Why the hell did this stuff happen to him? He raised an eyebrow at Ryu. "Okay, buddy! You're on." They retired to booths set aside for practicing performances. Natsume ran after Ryu, and Kurumi and Nodoka followed her to chaperone. Akane, Nabiki and Shampoo followed Barry into another booth followed closely by Mousse who hadn't quite overcome Ranma-envy, even if he knew it wasn't Ranma. Besides, that's where Shampoo was.

Akari and Ukyo gave Ryoga a lo-o-o-ong look. He began to sweat nervously. "What?"

"Why don't you go up and sing?" asked Akari.

"_Me_?" Ryoga's eyes were 'deer-in-the-headlights'. He thought this a great stunt to pull on Ryu and Barry needed to be distracted. "Why me?"

"Sure!" declared Akari. She turned to Ukyo. "He's actually pretty good. Sometimes he sings when we're traveling."

Ukyo flushed. Why did she wish Ryoga had sung to her? She managed to smile. "Well, I for one would like to hear you sing, sugar." Ryoga stared at her as if betrayed. "C'mon! Is that so bad? Maybe you'll show both those hot-heads up."

Soon they were dragging him off to another practice booth.

Kasumi started to stand up and looked distressed. "Oh, dear."

"What's wrong Kasumi-chan?" asked Miss Hinako.

Kasumi eyed her father's romantic interest with a bit of dismay. She had been more than a little upset to find Hinako at the breakfast table that morning and only Barry's quickness had saved the descending crockery. "I need to visit the ladies room," she said in a small voice.

Hinako immediately rose to her feet. "Of course I'll go with you! I spotted it on the way in." She turned to Soun. "We'll be back." Soun got a goofy look on his face and waggled his fingers at her as she left.

"Tendo," Genma scowled at his old friend, "what are you doing?"

Soun hid his hand, looked embarrassed and took a huge gulp of his drink. "Hah, ha-ha! You wouldn't believe me, Saotome."

"Try me, Tendo," Genma replied, matching his intake of decidedly alcoholic beverage. "This looks worse than the time the Master made us dress up as women and flirt with those beer makers at Kanazawa, so he could raid their tavern." He put one elbow on the table and gave Soun a narrow look.

"How dare you compare Miya to such an event," Soun began angrily causing Genma to flinch. After a couple of seconds, Soun let his head hit the table and covered it with his hands.

"It is, isn't it?" Genma returned to the attack, referring to their past escapades.

"I honestly don't know, Saotome," Soun admitted. "You won't believe me, but I did this to myself!"

"What? How? Why?" Genma looked after the departing woman. "Maybe I can see why…"

"That's not it at all!" snarled Soun. Genma cowered. Soun was unusually aggressive tonight. He hadn't been like this since his wife died. "I wanted to get Ranma to propose to Akane at the dance on Thursday." He went on to explain his attempt to drug Genma's son that evening. They called for refills.

"Tendo!" Genma said with wide eyes. "I'm surprised at you!" Soun nodded shame-faced. "That's such an old routine! Besides, that ki-vision thing he's developed lets him see that one coming a mile away," added Genma.

"This drug masks its own presence," Soun said with a glare. "I overheard the old ghoul when she used it on Ranma after he nearly drowned."

"It's not detectable to the ki-senses?" Genma started. He slugged back the remainder of his drink.

"That's what she said." He smiled foolishly then tried to regain a serious composure once more. "It works rather quickly, too," Soun added absently. He turned and looked after the vanished Hinako. "I never noticed what a fine woman she was, Saotome. I was always afraid of appearances. I mean what would people think?" Tears trickled down his cheeks. "What a blessing that the battle somehow reversed the Master's curse and allowed her to be a true woman!"

"You'd be looking mighty strange if it hadn't, Tendo," remarked Genma. "She normally looked what, ten years old?" He raised his glass. "Kanpai!"

Soun nodded. "It wouldn't have mattered a bit after that drug hit me," Soun said mournfully. "Gods! Due to the legendary Ki-Neutral Hypnotic Elixir Concentrate, I may never know if I truly love her or not!"

Now he wept like the old Soun Genma knew. Genma patted his friend's shoulder. "Now, now…" An idea formed in Genma's mind, was squelched, and then formed again. "You don't… happen to have any more of it, do you?" he whispered conspiratorially. Soun nodded, his head still on his arms and fished out a paper packet. Genma looked it over carefully and frowned. "This looks like antacid powder." Soun glanced up, got embarrassed and snatched the packet away, substituting another. "Ahhh…" Genma gingerly held the packet. "So this is the legendary Ki-Neutral Hypnotic Elixir Concentrate!" He glanced blearily at Soun. "Does it work?"

"I am sitting here, ready to _worship_ the feet of a woman I _barely know_ and you ask meif it _works_?" Soun looked about ready to explode into a demon-head. Genma waved him down, fascinated by what he held and emboldened by the alcohol under his belt.

"What do you think, Tendo," Genma said belching loudly. "Bed or wed first?"

"Why?" Barry asked the girls.

"Because you guys should compare apples to apples," said Ukyo who had come in to inform him of Ryoga's belated entry.

"But why _that_ song?"

"Barry," Ukyo said with a glare and a hint of disgust, "what's _wrong_ with it?"

"It's a love song."

"What's wrong with _that_?" the girls asked. Akane grimaced, her stolen memories playing past her inner eye. The others didn't notice.

"Ummm… It's not in character?" He had noticed Akane's expression. He was fighting to keep his own color steady.

"Oh, pooh!" Shampoo snorted. "Anybody not know how Ranma and Akane feel by now blind like Mousse!" She sighed. "Only problem left how deal with honor and leftover fiancées." Akane patted her arm.

"Unless, of course, something else turns—!"

"Bite your tongue, Ukyo!"

"Shut up, spatula-girl!"

Ukyo grinned.

"Do I have to?" whined Barry. They nodded.

"Why wouldn't they let us go as soloists," grumbled Ryu, a little later. The three young men nervously waited their turn at the microphone. "I don't want you guys to screw up my routine!"

"Routine?" inquired Barry. "You planning on dancing or something?"

"D-dancing?" Ryu almost squeaked then regained control of himself. "I barely know the song!"

Ryoga winced. "I'm a terrible dancer anyway. I just hope I don't freeze up out there."

"Stage fright? I know what you mean," Barry nodded. "After you get past the first few lines, it gets easier."

"Oh, joy!" grumbled Ryu. "We aregonna look like a pack of idiots!"

"You don't like that?"

"C'mon, Ranma," Kumon snapped, "are you telling me you do?"

"Not at all," Barry replied. "But if we work together, we can all come across a lot better than if we stand up there and sing in unison. Unless we plan now, we're gonna be moving outa synch with one another; and that's distracting no matter how well we sing." The other two men looked at him.

"What do you have in mind?" Ryoga asked. His butterflies were beginning to get to him.

"Kata." They looked at one another. "We're all martial artists, right?" Barry internally winced. "I'm sure we all have a few kata that are nearly identical. Modify them to a tai chi sort of tempo, this is a love song after all, and match tempo to the music." They looked doubtful. "We have about twenty minutes," he reminded them, "before the folks ahead of us have their chances. Let's get a booth and work this out."

When they came out on stage, Ryoga was in the middle, due to his height, and Barry and Ryu to his left and right, respectively. They had broken the three verses into solos with backup and would sing the refrain as a group. They counted four beats from the beginning of the song and began their kata, a set of blocking moves designed to confront an aggressive opponent and wear down their attack.

Ryoga began.

"_I walk alone in the moonlight,_

_Sleepless, I wander the night, thinking of you…"_

It was an appropriate verse for the lost boy, and he sang it with feeling, while behind him, Ryu and Barry sang counter-point by chanting the last word of the line and holding the note till the next line was half over. They went into the refrain then, strong, yet hopeless in love as the song was written, their defensive kata implying their defense of their hearts.

"_How many empty days have passed,_

_How many more stones can we cast,_

_How much longer can this last?_

_Can we begin again?"_

Barry was next. Both to give Ryu the last refrain, which better suited his feelings with Natsume at the moment and because Ranma's male singing voice was deeper than Ryoga's or Ryu's.

"_I reach out for a hand not there,_

_Are those tears? Or has the rain deceived me?"_

Barry wished there were other lines, other songs than the one chosen, but in a way it was good to release some of the pain of the last four months.

There was a musical break here as they entered their kata again, unified in movement as only martial artists of their caliber can be. Ryoga and Ryu were lost in the flow of the movement, concerned with what was done and what was needed. Barry let Ranma's body move on autopilot, only checking the tempo from time to time. He watched the audience's reaction to their performance and was satisfied. Ryu's part was coming and he hoped the hints he had dropped would pay off.

"_A gentle breeze touches me_

_A fragrance like the sakura makes me aware you're near._

_By the light of the morning sun,_

_On the waters, its light reminds me of your smile."_

They sang the refrain then and finished it out by chanting 'Can we begin again?' one after the other, in the order they had sung before, as the music died.

There was generous applause, a few people went so far as to stand and applaud, causing both Ryoga and Ryu to flinch and blush furiously. Barry took that moment to whisper in Ryu's ear.

"Hey, Ryu, be careful with my sister. She's had as hard a life as yours, okay? Don't hurt her." He got a startled glance and gave him a thin smile. Ryu nodded and looked back to Natsume. He had picked up on Barry's hint, focusing on her to sing to and ignoring the rest of the audience. Natsume had noticed. _Boy_, had she noticed! They pulled another chair over and Ryu joined the group.

"Okay! Who thinks I won?" asked Ryu. He blushed as Natsume's hand went up immediately, followed by Kurumi's.

"Hey!" chuckled Barry. "Where's your family loyalty?"

Natsume looked at him coolly. "If your mother had been singing, I might include that in my considerations." She stuck out her tongue at Barry.

"I think Ranma win," Shampoo said. She glanced aside at Akane who frowned and shrugged. Nodoka smiled and nodded to Barry.

"Well, we think Ryoga did a great job," Ukyo said firmly. Akari nodded happily and glomped onto Ryoga's arm.

"By the way, Kumon," Nabiki drawled, amused by the open affection Natsume was emoting for Ryu, "how did you happen to show up just now?"

Ryu got really nervous. "Ummm… I, ah… sorta saw you folks going out and followed you…" He was interrupted when a couple was a little clumsy passing their table. Ryoga was far enough away to avoid it, but Barry got splashed and…

"Oh, forgive us, miss! We're terribly sorry!" The couple moved on, while Barry glanced about the table, waiting for comments. Instead, Shampoo and Akane bracketed her. It was a little nerve-wracking to have them both, this close, in a social setting. Especially since they were both now taller and heavier than she was.

"So, who you think win?" Shampoo asked.

"Hey! Who am I to judge?" retorted the redhead. "I'm not sure. Both Ryoga and Ryu did pretty good.

"But you think _you_ did better?" Ryu growled.

"What can I say? Ranma Saotome don't lose… at martial arts, anyway," Barry smugly added at the end.

Ryu and Ryoga looked at one another. "Was this martial arts? Or not?"

"Who came up with the idea of doing a group routine?" asked Akane. The two arguing men blinked at her.

"Uh… Ranma," Ryu admitted.

"And who thought of using kata for dance routine?" Shampoo asked. They looked guilty, then angry.

"Dammit, Ranma!" they growled in unison, "You tricked us!"

"Whoa, guys!" Barry shouted them down. "Would you rather have looked like a pack of idiots?" They growled and shook their heads. "I may have thought of the basic ideas, but who figured out which kata to use?

"Ryoga did!" admitted Ryu.

"And who came up with the idea to use different verses as solo pieces and do the refrains in unison?"

"Ummm… Didn't Ryu?" Ryoga remarked, looking sidewise at the other man.

"Exactly." Barry glared at the girls beside her. "We all contributed to the end result. I'm perfectly satisfied with how we're individually judged. Besides," her smile grew hard and bright, "if ya beat me this time, it just means we gotta come back for a rematch."

The others looked at her, looked around then grinned at one another.

Genma was annoyed. His son had essentially given away victory and didn't seem to care! It didn't help that his wife seemed to approve. Ranma's decision probably matched up with something in her old aikido training. He stifled a burp. No one could tell, but he was already three sheets to the wind and sailing away to the land of personal idiocies. He still had that packet of powder from Soun. He'd better act tonight before they left. No telling what the boy might do. Why, he might even really embarrass himself and cause Soun to break the engagement! And look at them now! Akane was obviously ticked off again! Odds were that tomboy, Akane, would give Ranma to Shampoo or something equally disgraceful! Besides, for enemies, those two had been awful chummy of late, and Genma still remembered Akane's war cry of 'I _hate_ boys!' Genma had no desire of being a live-in in a Joketsuzoku village. Why, they made men _work _for a living!

While Genma was brooding, Shampoo was interrogating. Their whispers were unlikely to be overheard with the noise of the dance club. "You two acting funny," observed Shampoo. "Did something happen when you use aura teaching technique?"

Barry and Akane exchanged glances. "Yes," Barry admitted, "I picked up a few of extraneous memories from Akane. I'm sure she picked up some from me."

"No, _really_?" Akane remarked sarcastically, looking at her drink on the table. At Shampoo's puzzled look, she clarified herself, "Barry's a pervert."

Barry looked irritated and sighed.

"Are you?" Shampoo asked.

"I can't prove that I'm not," Ranma's guest replied, "and because Akane's looked into the realm of my fantasies and hidden thoughts, she might honestly claim to be right."

"I _am_ right," the shorthaired girl said tightly, "And all this time, I _trusted_ you."

Barry looked like she was about to say something, but bit it off. Shampoo shook her head. "I do not understand," she said finally. "You are angry because of what Barry think?" Akane sniffed.

"If she got what I think she got, Shampoo, I don't blame her." Barry sighed looking at the tabletop.

"You'd be angry, too!" added Akane to Shampoo.

"Yup," Barry groaned, "she got it!" Akane slugged her hard enough to rock her.

"Okay. If it involve Shampoo, then maybe Shampoo better hear?" Her gaze became hard. She glared at Barry. "Maybe you take advantage of Ranma's girl-type?"

"_Sham-poo!_" Barry snapped. "Ranma's body doesn't need stimulation like that. He's had enough trouble maintaining control with you girls hanging all over him."

"Barry was fantasizing us in a threesome with Ranma!" snapped Akane in a sudden rush of whispered candor. She glared at Barry then turned away again.

"I was _not_ fantasizing!" snapped Barry back. "Well, not exactly, anyway. What was I supposed to think, or worry about, when you two haven't explained why you've suddenly become so chummy and what you've been up to?" The redhead grimaced and waited for pain.

They were shocked by Shampoo's giggles. "Sound like fun!"

"_Shampoo!_" they both hissed at her. She sat there, the tip of her tongue sticking out from between her lips, a mischievous smile on her face.

"If Akane was Amazon instead of outsider, maybe even solve problem," Shampoo added. "Poor Mousse…"

Akane gaped and looked at Barry, who seemed equally nonplused. Mousse, on the other side of the Amazon, went red and the tendons in his hands popped audibly as his fists clenched. "You know that's not an option here, Shampoo, so why bring it up?" he asked in a miserable voice. Shampoo spoke to him, not in Japanese or Mandarin, but in the village dialect of their home. Mousse looked surprised and asked a question in the same language. Shampoo rattled off an answer. Mousse nodded, and then switched back to Japanese. "I wondered if that was how it went…"

"What Mousse?" Barry asked.

"I'm sorry. I can't tell you," the bespectacled man replied. "You'd have to ask Cologne; women's business. You may find out eventually, but… it's unlikely."

"Akane…" Barry turned to her.

She glared and started to turn away, saying, "Why should I tell you?" The redhead stared at her, her eyes almost boring into Akane, while her lips tightened. "You wouldn't dare," Akane whispered, suddenly frightened, realizing what the other must have gotten from the direct astral impression technique.

"I couldn't do that to you, Akane," she said softly. It was all too vivid in the mind's eye…

_A young girl, too recently deprived of her mother, running away from the pain, the dead looks of her siblings, the frightening change of her father from a warm strong presence to a broken wailing wraith… The park, even in the lights of the street lamps a haven of memories… picnics with her mother and father, her sisters… Then, as she was beginning to regain her composure and starting to be concerned over how her family might worry, those five high school boys coming out of the darkness to jeer and make suggestive remarks._

_They reeked of alcohol. They surrounded her, taking in her short dark hair and huge eyes, her legs, well muscled from her workouts with her sisters and her parents and longer proportionately, due to a recent growth spurt. She fell into a defensive posture, watching, ready to lash out, looking for her chance. One reached in to grab at her arm and paid for it with a kick to the teeth. The other four tackled her to the ground before she could recover. In the shadows of the bushes beside the path, they spread-eagled her and told her in explicitly crude terms what they were going to do to her. With four boys, each twice her weight, pinning her limbs and no leverage, she could barely move. _

_Faintly, she thought she heard her sister's voice. She bit the hand over her mouth and screamed out, "Kasum—!" before a heavy hand rocked her with a backhand slap. Tears leapt unbidden. Her sister was too far away. She would never have heard her. Then the thought that Kasumi might have to face these five alone, crossed her mind, and she went still in horror. _

_The boys took it as acceptance of the roll they had planned for her. "That's better, you little witch," said the one she had kicked. He reached under her skirt to start yanking her panties off._

_Something moved in the brush. Another presence was there and the boys began letting go with cries of pain and consternation. Akane curled up in a ball, shaking, telling herself over and over that she should get up and help, get up and fight, but all she could do was shake as the boys, faced by superior skill and frightening technique, cut their losses and limped away hurriedly into the darkness. The form reached down and gathered her up into strong arms to carry her to safety. At first she thought it was her father. She looked up at the light glinting off spectacles. "Dr. Tofu?"_

"_Did they hurt you, little one?" he asked gently, as he carried her home. She shook her head. "Good! I'll make sure they won't try that again," he promised her. _

Barry shook her head to clear it. The incident had warped much of Akane's life till Ranma came. Her shame at not helping Tofu fight her attackers had driven her, usually in anger, to train and train and train.

Her father's fear of what almost happened to his daughter had altered his training of her, concentrating on techniques and power, neglecting philosophy and control. Her tendency to feed off her anger in a fight had led to her injuring Soun several times. Yet he had suffered those injuries and praised her for her power even while he retreated from sparring with her. That had also been the end of family sparring, as well.

Kasumi had become too busy, with housework and trying to finish high school, and only practiced tai chi in the early morning. Nabiki had been avoiding martial arts for nearly a year before the incident. She viewed the official action from a different perspective. Akane's attackers had been rich. The official stance had been, 'Since no lasting harm was done, let it drop! Do you want to drag the girl's name through the mud? What had she been doing out so late and alone?' Nabiki had seen the advantages of money and influence. She began seeking ways to gain that power. Her family would be better prepared, next time.

It was startling to Barry that Akane was even aware of these things. Or was she? Barry could see the results from the internal evidence, but Akane was Akane. Had she developed a tendency to block out facts and information that were painful to face? Did she consider it her fault that her mother died? Was it, to her, her fault that Kasumi never went to college as she had planned? Did she feel responsible for Nabiki becoming a scheming hustler?

Barry looked into Akane's dark eyes and shivered. "I'm sorry I didn't warn you about this, Akane," she said slowly, trying to see some way to help her. "Ryoga and I talked about this, on and off, but it never occurred to me that there was no way you could have been prepared for what it would do." She watched Akane's face, but saw nothing. "Ranma and I, we had no choice. We were stuck with each other, and worked out ways to guard our privacy. Not perfect, but they worked most of the time."

Akane let out a breath and dropped her eyes. "Maybe you won't tell anyone, Barry. But if you know, then when Ranma comes back, he'll know."

"We don't know that," Barry objected.

"He'll know!" she snapped. "He'll _hate_ me."

"Akane…" Barry reviewed the memories again, shuddering at her perspective of the shadowed flushed faces, the coarse remarks. "The only thing you'll have to worry about, _if_ he remembers this, is keeping him from tracking those jerks down and killing them." Her head jerked up and, for an instant, he saw an unholy joy of revenge in her eyes. "Don't," he warned her. "Ranma won't do anyone any good in jail for murder." The light of revenge died to leave a look of horror.

"Oh, no," Akane choked. "It will be my faul—!"

"Stop that!" Barry snapped. "No, it won't be your fault! If Ranma does it, it'll be _his_ fault and his stupidity! Your sisters made their own choices. Events that involved you influenced them, but they made theirchoices." He glanced at Kasumi who was watching them from across the table with concern. "Look at your oldest sister and tell me she made the wrong choice."

Akane's eyes met Kasumi's and the latter smiled at her encouragingly, her warmth and love evident. She couldn't hear their discussion, but sensed something of its import.

"Look at your other sister."

Nabiki sat between Ryoga and Ryu, both still arguing over the merits of their performance, subtly egged on by the middle Tendo. She felt Akane's eyes on her and met them, the corner of her mouth tweaking up. She made a subtle gesture, the unspoken language of one sister to another that said, 'Can you _believe_ these two?'

Akane turned back to Barry. "Now, look at your father," he told her.

Soun, obviously tipsy, was whispering something in Hinako's ear. She alternated between blushing and waving away the fumes, but the twitch of her fingers warned the knowledgeable that she was restraining an impulse to ki-drain Soun. Then he and Genma came to some consensus and staggered to their feet, heading for the stage. Hinako and Nodoka exchanged glances. Obviously the older men had drunk enough courage to… entertain them. Their faces were studies of consternation, embarrassment and… amusement at these overgrown children. Hinako hid her face in her hands, while Nodoka patted her on the arm. 'It'll be over, soon,' she seemed to say.

"I don't know if that's gonna last," Barry remarked, "but it's their choice. We all make choices, some good some bad. But regardless of who hurts us, or tries to, as long as we're alive, we retain the opportunity to make the best of it. It's our choice. Your choice, in this case."

"It's not that easy," Akane snorted.

"What is?" Shampoo stuck her two-yen worth in. "Akane ready to give up?"

Akane flushed, and Barry saw something of her old anger directed at Shampoo.

"Not on your little cat-tailed life!" she rounded on Shampoo.

"Is good!" Shampoo said smugly. She reached out a hand to stroke along Akane's cheek. "Akane must face life as warrior, but even warrior have cause for tears, by and by." Her expression changed again to openly mischievous, leaving them startled and uneasy. "What say, get spatula-girl, mercenary-girl and nice-sister and make Barry do Ranma's song and dance at last Christmas party?"

Akane suddenly grinned while Barry protested weakly. "Hey! What if I don't want to?" The redhead was dragged off.

Genma waited until everyone was concentrated on the performance of Soun's daughters and Ranma's fiancées on stage with Ranma doing a remarkably good (and dangerous, with Nodoka around) impression of a bouncy brainless idol singer. Then he drifted about a quarter of the package into Akane and Ranma's drinks and sat back innocently. No one seemed to have caught on. He frowned at his wife. She was clapping right along with everyone else! There were really some times, he thought affronted, when he just didn't understand what was going on.

There was some delay before everyone came back. Barry had seen the looks on some of the faces in the audience and that, combined with Akane's recently acquired memory, had spooked her badly. Hot water was obtained and he returned to his seat with a sense of relief.

There was a brief flurry around the table as hordes of young men descended to hit upon the girls only to slowly swirl away as their real interest, the hot-looking redhead, seemed to have disappeared. A couple of determined individuals hung around until Mousse stood up, stretched and seemed for a second to be constructed out of swords, pikes, scythes, chains and other lethal objects. Spooked, the remainder made tracks.

"Doesn't it bother you to have men coming on to you like that?" demanded Hinako of Barry.

"Yeah, it does; but it wasn't my idea to go up there." Barry shrugged and reached for his glass. "Can I help it if I'm better built?" His hand joggled as Akane elbowed him for the comment. "_Akane_!" Higher pitched, the redhead's voice accused as she glared at her table companion.

"Ooops!" Akane murmured. She smiled sweetly. "You were overdoing it. (Even compared to Ranma, her eyes accused) Why don't you get some more hot water?" She picked up her drink and sipped it.

"Yeah, yeah! Could somebody get me another drink while I'm gone?"

"Sure," Akane said, placing her glass down on the table. Barry looked surprised.

"You will?"

"Of course," Akane told her. She got up, snagged a waiter and dragged him to their table. "Get another drink for Ranma, here." The waiter nodded frantically and escaped the weird girl with hands like a vise. It was almost time to go off-shift, anyway. He'd make it a little early.

* * *

Not far away, a man with a bored expression sat up and took interest. That redhead from the stage was at the next table. His palms grew moist at the sight of her. She had apparently just knocked over her drink. It would be a shame to let her go thirsty. He called a waiter and ordered a drink, fishing in his pocket for a packet of finely ground powder. He'd wait a while after she had drunk his little treat, ask her to dance then maneuver her to one of the exits. After that… 

The girl was off somewhere when the waiter returned. He paid him a large tip to leave the tray behind, then treated the drink and made his move. He was dressed in a very similar fashion to the waiters here; it had allowed him to pull this little ploy, before. After all, who notices a servant? He walked over and placed the doctored drink at the redhead's place. She'd be back then so would he.

* * *

Genma saw his chance as Soun and Ryu were trying to entice Hinako and Natsume onto the dance floor. The rest of the group was amused by the blushes and excuses of the women and the pleading of their men. Shampoo had left her seat to lend Akari a hand as she tried to convince Ryoga to dance. Sprinkling the remainder of the powder into Ranma's drink, he looked up and froze. Genma had been caught red-handed by none other than Akane. He grew bolder when she made no comment and whispered, "You didn't see me do it." She nodded and turned away again, sipping her drink. Sweating, he slumped back in his chair. Genma tried to avoid looking at Ranma as he returned, male again, to sit down beside his fiancée. 

"Don't do that again, okay?" he heard his son grumble.

Akane nodded equitably. "Do what?" she asked quietly.

"Hit me while I've got a cold drink," he retorted. She again nodded agreeably and he gave her an odd look. "Are you all right?"

"I think so." The placid response bothered the young man. Genma held his breath, then carefully modulated his breathing, fearful that any little difference in his behavior would alert Ranma. He watched his son reach over and take the glass from her fingers and examine it.

Barry checked out the glass. As near as he could tell, Akane's ginger ale was normal. Perhaps a little flat, but that wasn't so unusual. He traced her aura and found it much calmer, flatter than normal, but no sign he could pinpoint that indicated any manipulation. He flashed his awareness through the area.

Some guy at the next table was highly agitated and focused on them. He oriented and took a good look at the guy. About Ranma's height, fit but not as athletic, rather nondescript hair. On a whim he got up and walked over to him.

"You gotta problem?" he said in a very flat, threatening voice. The guy looked like he was about to wet himself. "A problem with _me_, maybe?"

Toshiyuki Aoshima had never run into Ranma before. There was a definite sense of threat that completely overpowered the self-confidence his wealth normally gave him. "N-n-no! I… ah… Is that redhead girl your sister?" he babbled frantically. He hadn't lost his composure this way since… since…

"You could say that," Barry replied. Okay, so this guy was after Ranma's girl-type, not Akane. He looked him over. The idiot looked like a waiter in that outfit. What a moron! "I strongly suggest you leave her alone. I'm _very_ protective of my sister." He looked him over again, fixing his features in his mind. "I'd leave now, if I were you," he added as an afterthought.

Aoshima took a few deep, gulping breaths. Like many Japanese, he had studied martial arts to some degree, both for its value in exercise and because of the poise and protective skills it gave its practitioners. He knew enough to recognize Ranma was a serious physical threat. Trying to be as nonchalant as possible, he called for his tab and left. For some reason this man also reminded him of an angry Beldandy. That was a thought that gave him shivers as well. He called for his sports car and peeled out. He'd just have to take out his frustration with his wife. After all, what else was she there for?

Barry watched the unsavory creep till he got in his car and left. Once he had heard his voice, it had taken every ounce of his control, not to immediately stomp him like a bug! He swept the nearby tables and guests again, with both sight and ki-vision, surprising Genma into an almost defensive gesture. Grimacing, he reached over and patted the man on the arm. Genma had really been improving, lately. He had been acting responsibly with his daughters and even gotten closer with Nodoka, apparently to their mutual satisfaction. Barry figured he would have flinched, too, if he had gotten a look like that from Ranma!

Genma met Ranma's eyes and flinched. He was caught! He was dead! His heart racing he watched his son reach out… and clap him in a companionable way on the shoulder. Genma blinked, waiting for the other shoe to drop, or rather kick toward some unprotected part of his body. "Pops, I just wanted to tell ya, I'm proud of ya," he heard his boy say. Proud? "It's not easy fer me ta say things like this, but, yer doin' good… Real good. I know it's hard ta change, Pops." Genma nodded, looking like a skittish horse, the whites showing around his irises. "But if ya can just keep goin' like this, yer gonna find somethin' special at the end." Genma looked curiously at Ranma. He didn't normally go in for heart-to-heart, but then he hadn't given him much time that way these last ten years or so. "I know yer lookin' to Akane and me, providing a home in yer old age, but look what ya could have! Natsume and Kurumi will eventually marry, and Ukyo may join our family as a sister, and I just can't see her not marryin'. Right now, yer on the steps of heaven; four families, with grandkids ta spoil and train and a wife that loves ya and keeps the home warm and comfortable." Genma's eyes widened. He could be an imaginative man himself, if you could break him from the immediate concerns of his stomach, and the image was indeed heaven to him. He felt his eyes fill with tears. So close…

"It won't happen though, if ya screw up with them the way ya did with Akane and me," Barry told him. "Ta reach that dream, yer gonna have to leave them alone to reach their own decisions, or they won't trust ya." He glanced back at Genma who was frowning slightly. "It'd be true hell to have all that in reach, but be shut out, because they couldn't trust ya not to, oh… take one of the kids on an extended training trip, or promise them in marriage for food. They need ta have respect for ya, and respect needs trust." He saw Genma go pale. "Not to mention what Mom would do if ya started that again. It wouldn't be pretty." He took a sip of his drink. "Pops, I have faith in ya."

Genma felt singed. The visions were, indeed, pure heaven and pure hell laid out before him. What was worse was that Ranma's voice hadn't had that bite of contempt it had possessed since Jusenkyo and the engagement. It was in some ways a transcendent moment for Genma. He had always wanted respect, but Happosai had equated respect with fear and had taught his students likewise. Respect built on trust and backed with skill was something his son had developed despite his father. In many ways, Genma had envied Ranma the respect he received, but had put it down to some intangible gift of the gods. Suddenly he had the equation before him: Trust plus skill equals respect.

He turned to his son. "Ranma, I need to tell you…"

Barry sat looking forward, eyes glazed.

"Ranma?" Genma looked down at the half-empty glass and sighed. Oh, _hell_! Maybe literally. "Ranma? Akane?" They turned toward him. "You will take orders only from myself or Soun. Everyone else you will treat the same way you would naturally. You will tell no one about this conversation or about any ideas you may get because of this conversation. Do you understand?" They nodded and Genma relaxed a little. At least they wouldn't be agreeing with every jackass that propositioned them. "In about fifteen minutes, you and Akane will start acting sleepy and say you want to go home. You will wait for Soun and I at the dojo. If anyone comes with you, you will go to the dojo to train until we come to talk to you. Do you understand?"

In a surprisingly natural voice, Akane said, "Sure!" and nodded, her smile flashing briefly.

Ranma seemed somewhat drained. Genma repeated his query and got a mumbled "Yesh!" Had the boy been drinking after all?

Soun and Hinako, Ryu and Natsume and Akari and Ryoga made it back to the table from the dance floor. They were conspicuous by their clasped hands. Shampoo and Mousse returned together, as well. Though not holding hands, there was a hint of a blush on the girl's cheek and Mousse looked like he was floating. Ukyo glanced at them and smirked.

"The second kiss?" she asked.

"No! No! No!" they chorused. "Just dance," illuminated Shampoo. "Is okay under Amazon law."

"Sometimes, sugar, I wish you would tell Amazon law where to go," Ukyo grumped.

Shampoo sighed. They'd had this argument before. She looked at Barry and Akane and frowned. Were they still annoyed over the captured memories? "Akane?" she asked exasperated. "It not his fault. Boys like that! It what I count on to catch Ranma when first come." Akane glanced up at her. "Why you still mad?"

Akane looked around then dragged Shampoo into whispering range. "He's a married man, dammit! How _dare_ he!"

"But it only thought, not action! He never try hit on you, me, Ukyo, Kodachi…"

"But he _thought_ it!" Shampoo puzzled over her lack of force behind the words. Akane would normally have announced her thoughts to the next ward.

"So Barry-baka think Akane, Shampoo desirable?" Akane nodded. "That makes him pervert?" Akane sat still for a moment then slowly nodded. "You _sure_ you want Ranma?" Shampoo asked. Akane scowled and nodded. "Shampoo tell you now, you do better with statue! Why you think Ranma always scrunch up and act funny around pretty girl, especially when pretty girl act nice-nice?" Akane looked blank. "He try very hard not to show desire! Ranma passionate man, but very controlled. Akane need to re-think what pervert is."

"So, what is a pervert to you, Shampoo?" She waited, floating on her sea of detachment.

"A pervert is a man or woman who pursue desires over responsibilities."

Akane thought a long moment. Then, "Who?"

"Happosai, Daisuke and Hiroshi, stick-boy, Tsubasa, Copycat Ken, panda-man, Ryoga… Though Ryoga and panda-man better, lately." She broke off as Akane grabbed her arm.

"Why Ryoga and not Ranma?"

"You prove to Shampoo when Ranma or Barry-baka ever use trick to get into Akane's bed and I give up claim to Airen."

Akane sat flummoxed. She thought about the two years of Ranma and the four months of Barry with a certain unreal clarity. She turned to Barry and shoved at his shoulder for attention. "Hey, baka!"

"Wuzza?" Barry looked… drunk? Akane became faintly concerned. Had she driven him to drink?

"I'm sorry. Okay?" she said, patting his shoulder. "I understand, I think, and I'm sorry."

"Zalrite…" Barry went back to contemplating the place setting. He raised his head a little and said, "Ahr ya tired?"

Akane considered. She looked at her watch. "It's not time yet," she said equitably. He considered that and nodded.

"S'not time… Buh A'hm tire' alasame," he told her.

Shampoo looked at Barry and then peeled an eyelid back. She cursed. "Someone _drug_ Barry!" she snarled. She looked around then, using her ki-vision to probe. "See, Akane?" she demanded. Akane activated her vision and looked to where Shampoo was indicating. "See lines over-stimulated? Some nearly block, if Ranma not so strong… or big…" Shampoo's eyes suddenly went wide. "Aiya! Great-grandmother warn! Men use drug to kidnap women for sex!"

"You think someone was after Ranma's girl-type?" demanded Ukyo who had overheard her outburst.

"What's the matter with him?" Ryu asked leaning across the table. Soon everyone knew about Shampoo's surmise.

Genma was sweating bullets. He thought Soun said this stuff was undetectable! So far, they hadn't considered either of them to be at fault, yet. If they decided he was at fault, he was dead, dead, _dead_! His own past would convict him. He was really beginning to reconsider these plans.

"Akane," Shampoo said, "you take Ranma to Great-grandmother. She know how deal with this. We meet you there after we look around." Shampoo was furious. The very idea of a male manipulating a woman for his own self-indulgence was the very origin of the Amazons. The fact that she had often done the same to Ranma was momentarily forgotten.

"S'tired," Barry muttered. The drug, though he didn't know it, was interacting with the 'ki-neutral hypnotic' in ways even a chemist would have had trouble predicting. He felt Akane shift a shoulder under his arm. Most of Barry was tied up somewhere else.

* * *

It had taken him like an impact into purple Jell-O and rushed his brain in a wild ride past cats and horses and giant talking trees. Vaguely, through the springy substance that enfolded him in flashing butterfly sparkles, he heard and responded to his friends if they were direct enough. He breathed red bubbles that noisily shrank away in brandy-flavored flashes. Dimly, he knew that this was all totally wrong. His sense of reference was off, however, and he couldn't find his center. He was slip-sliding eerily down a hot sun and the only delicious coolness came when Akane's shoulder supported him…her? Whatever… If he could have remembered how his arms and legs worked, he might try to get closer. So…hot! Or was it cold? He wasn't even sure anymore.

He floated in and out of this for a while, before becoming aware that they were standing someplace with music playing. It wasn't the music of the karaoke club; that had been…soothing because of the beat underneath. This music had no underlying tempo and he frowned trying to find the beat.

"I don't know, Tendo," he heard a voice yaw in and out. "I'm having second thoughts about this." He focused one eye. Genma was not far away, looking rather ridiculous in a claw-hammer tux.

"I can understand that, Saotome," Soun said quietly, "I'm not feeling too good myself."

"No! About the children!"

"I know, Saotome! I know." Soun straightened and nearly tipped over backwards. He, too, was dressed in a tux instead of his normal gi. "But, they keep pushing each other away! I have to believe they love each other! But they're so _obstinate_!"

"So true… So true…" murmured Genma.

"They'll never do it on their own! This may be our last chance."

"Last chance?" Genma said looking with concern at his old friend. "Why _'last'_?"

"Ranma is very skilled, but also very lucky. How many times has he come close to being killed in the last year?" Soun fixed his eyes on Genma who dropped his. "I conservatively counted some forty times. If Akane feels as I think she does, she has to have something to remember him by and you need someone to carry on the Saotome name when his luck catches up with him."

"Perhaps it is more than luck?" Genma offered. "He _is_ the best martial artist of his age, possibly the best in the world!"

"You haven't been watching my daughter, lately, have you, Saotome?" Soun grinned proudly. "Still, it's due to her fiancé's training." He frowned again. "But her heart is fragile, like mine was. I don't want her going through what I went through when I lost Kimiko." His eyes grew teary. "If I hadn't had my girls, I would have…"

"There, there, old friend, I understand. I just hope _they_ do."

A middle-aged couple bounced past, the white dress of the woman bunched up as her escort carried her through the door. The strains of music grew louder through the open doors. A man in a slick, white suit greeted a party ahead of them and escorted them through the doors. For a moment there was silence, then the music started again. Barry recognized it as a traditional bridal march. Who was getting married? He fogged out again, only to come to, as the smiling gentleman in the white suit came to escort them in.

"Welcome to the Chapel of the Wedded Doves," he smoothly announced. "Is this the happy couple?"

Genma nodded while Soun announced them. "This is my daughter, Akane Tendo, and her fiancé, Ranma Saotome."

"So young… Yet love often blossoms so. You are their parents?"

"Genma Saotome," came a gruff voice.

"Soun Tendo," came the voice of Akane's father, who, emotional as always, sounded like he'd soon be flooding the little chapel.

Barry smiled faintly. Ranma and Akane getting married? That was wonderful. He looked around for Gwen for a moment then laughed to himself. Gwen couldn't make _this_ wedding! Oh, well… That was too bad. She really liked weddings! He blinked, looking up at the lacy, arched ceiling. It looked like something out of a Las Vegas wedding chapel. Not exactly what he would have expected of these two. He remembered the simplicity of the church back home where he had married Gwen. He looked over at Akane and her serious face. Her dress was a little large and almost too ornate with all the lace and 'frosting'. She looked more like a decoration off the top of a wedding cake. Her serious face… Barry tilted his head. That wasn't right. She should be happy. Ranma loved her smile. He'd think she didn't love him. He looked around for Ranma. He wasn't sure what role he played here, but it just wouldn't do for Ranma to see such a glum bride. He tried to think of a joke or a silly story to break her out of her funk, but his mind was so slow today.

The music started up again, and the initial beats of the opening caught his attention and froze his brain. 'Da…da-da-da-da… da… da… da…'

He shook his head and came to himself once more, consciously trying to clear away the fog that inhibited him. He vaguely recognized the hypnotic's effects, but there was more to deal with than that. Besides, he wasn't supposed to think about that, was he? He wasn't sure. He looked at Akane standing beside her father. He heard something about… license? The minister would sign it after the ceremony. He fogged out, fought back and slid out again. Wait a minute! _He_ was Ranma right now! He couldn't marry Akane! He fought harder and dimly heard a sentence, an _important_ sentence.

"If anyone knows a just reason why these two people should not be joined in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace…"

Barry felt his heart thud over. This was important… Why important? Oh, yeah…

"There being none—!" The man was interrupted by a gargled voice. "What did you say?" he asked the young man before him, shocked.

"Ah said-d-d, A'hm a'ready married. Can' ge' married if-f yer a'ready mar-ried."

Soun turned a thunderous face toward Genma. "_SAOTOME!_" he bellowed, letting loose a respectable and predictable demon head.


	55. Life Lessons

**Guest Ki: Chapter 54**

_**Life Lessons**_

"_SAOTOME!"_ The minister in the white suit holding a book retained his large smile. Barry felt a bit pleased when the fellow's eyes rolled up in his head and he went straight over backwards like a board. _"Is there something you'd like to tell me?"_ roared the purplish tongue-waving apparition.

To say Genma was shocked was an understatement. He boggled at Soun and skittered back, bumping into a table with cheap wine for toasting newlyweds and was quickly panda-ed. Barry nudged Akane and pointed to the panda in the remains of a hammer-tailed tux. Faintly, she smiled.

Barry was terribly pleased now. Akane had smiled! That would make Ranma happy… Oh, yeah, he was back home with Gwen. His head hurt. God, he would love to see Gwen's smile again, feel her in his arms. Soun's demon-head swayed toward him. "_When did this happen_?"

"Ah bin mah-married ten years thish Septem-bem-ber 19th." He nodded, held up his left hand and frowned. He looked around him. Where did his ring go? Oh, yeah, Ranma has that, too.

Soun's demon head collapsed in astonishment. "Ten… years…?"

He turned furiously to Genma-panda, who ducked behind a table and waved a sign, proclaiming, I don't know what he's talking about! (twirl) _Honest_!

"It's that Kuonji girl, isn't it!" Soun demanded. He was shocked when Ranma grinned and shook his finger. "It isn't? Who _is_ it, then?" Soun glared at Akane's fiancé.

Genma came over now that, at least temporarily, Soun was focusing his anger on someone else. Besides, now that he thought about it, he hadn't done anything like that. Ranma would have been what, seven? He hadn't realized his boy was that precocious!

"Goodness!" came a shaky voice. White-coat sat up suddenly. "I must be working too hard. By my authority, invested…"

"_Shut up_!"

(_GROWF_!) Shut up!

Demon-head and sign wielding panda were more than enough to convince him to sleep some more. Behind them, the canned, marital music looped and started again.

"Who. Is. It!" growled Soun. Ranma blinked at him owlishly and smiled conspiratorially.

"Isha secret." He nodded. "A'hm a secret," he added then giggled. "If-if'n you know to-o-o-o much, ah'll hafta kill ya." He finished this announcement with a grating, evil sounding chuckle and drew his finger across his throat, making a 'geee-e-eeK' sound. Akane stood beside him in her rented wedding gown, smiling and nodding blankly.

That powder doesn't seem to be working as advertised, Tendo, signed Genma, tapping him on the shoulder to get his attention. (twirl!) It's making him hallucinate!

"I don't understand, Saotome. Akane seems fine."

"So I now pronounce you wan and mife, you may now bish the kride." The minister was sitting up again, more than a little rattled and very, _very_ confused. He looked around, started to open his mouth and…

"_Will you just get out of here_!" Soun demon-headed him again, while inches away an impressive set of teeth threatened him from a furry black and white visage. He fainted again.

"Amazing how rude people can be, isn't it, Saotome?" Soun said, turning back. "Uh… Where did the children go?"

* * *

Barry ran through the night for all he was worth, Akane cradled in his arms. That had been close! He thought a moment. Whatever it had been, that had been close! Now he had to… do something… He wasn't sure what, but something. He heard voices calling out his name but hid from them, suddenly frightened of what they planned. He was… He had to go…home! That was it! He had to go home. What was he carrying? He looked down. 

Akane had tucked her head in against Barry's chest, in part because he was staggering and bumping off things. Under the influence of the hypnotic, her mind was clear enough, but they had been ordered by her father, moments ago, not to say anything unless prompted. She had been shocked when Barry had started to speak, then glad that _yes_, he had been prompted and thank kami, was going to stop this mess. She looked up when he stopped, but didn't speak. She couldn't without prompting. She tried to think Barry into prompting her.

"Yer…ar not Gwen?"

Yes! A question! "No, I'm Akane." Drat! The question's parameters were too small. What else could she say? "I'm Ranma's fiancée!"

"Ranma." Akane's lips felt frozen as Barry fumbled with his thoughts. She and Barry had prepared to leave the club per Shampoo's instructions when Soun and Genma had volunteered to escort them. Barry had been heavy on her shoulder. Genma and Soun had smiled as they left the club and quickly redirected them to a taxi. The taxi had taken them to the chapel.

Barry had been in and out of consciousness the entire time. Why couldn't they see he was in trouble? Her fuzzy attempts at explaining her concern had been met with condescending 'Hush, dear's' from father, which she had to obey! They had staggered into the all-night chapel. It was so over-decorated that its days were probably numbered if Azusa Shiratori ever saw it. Her heart had sunk as the minister had called them in for the service. This was wrong! It should be Ranma! Her father told her to smile, but at least she had control, to some degree, of that!

Then Barry had unexpectedly dropped his bombshell, and they had escaped. But Barry was still not at all in control and neither, really, was she. "Ranma…" Barry repeated. "Yer Akane. Hafta pertect ya for Ranma… Yeah." He startled, hearing voices again, and ran away, carrying her in his arms. "Where? Where can we go?" she heard him mutter.

"Home! The Tendo dojo!" she said quickly. He frowned at her. Why didn't he move?

"Wha' if Hap-Hap-Happosai's there?" he asked. "Not safe."

"All right. The Nekohanten," she suggested.

"No! Yer an obsta… obstinate? No, no… Obsta-tickle. Shampoo'd kill ya."

"Ucchan's?"

"Didja see wha' sh' did at da weddin'?" he asked. "No way!"

Akane would've screamed if she hadn't been under the drug. Barry was acting paranoid. She had to get him to help, but how? "Barry, what about Auntie Nodoka's?" She surprised herself. Was the drug wearing off? She quickly found she couldn't initiate things, but she could still respond to unresolved questions. She watched the emotions play across his face.

Finally, he nodded. "Nodoka's." He turned, looking for landmarks. "Whish way?" she heard him mutter. She pointed. He took about half a dozen wobbling steps and dropped to his knees. He looked at her almost blindly now; sweat beading his forehead despite the evening chill. "We need to ge' goin' to Nodoka," he said, as if the words alone could get him to his feet again. The words unlocked the bonds on Akane a bit more. She scooped him up, not an easy thing for an under-fifty-kilo girl to do with nearly eighty kilos of boy.

"Akane?"

"I can take it from here," she grunted and began to run.

* * *

Natsume glared at her little sister. Kurumi glared right back. Sparks were flying. 

"You will stay here," Natsume said tightly, "with Kasumi!"

"I'm looking for Ranma and Akane with you and the others!" came the hot, aggressive reply. "The longer we argue, the longer it'll be till I come along anyway."

"Kurumi!"

"Make up your minds!" snapped Mousse, standing with a hand to his head, as if he were getting a migraine. "They're moving again."

"Can you pick up Tendo or the panda?" Ukyo growled. "They have some explaining to do."

"This is the last straw!" Nodoka said, tightly gripping the silk-wrapped shaft of the Saotome katana. "I am through with dearest shattering their lives again and again."

"I was right! They stopped at that new all night wedding chapel towards mid-town," Nabiki called from the door to the house. Everyone sighed. Shampoo looked distinctly cross and snappish. "Whoever I talked to was awfully concerned about demons and pandas anyway."

"They're getting closer," Mousse announced. He began to pivot. "They're passing by us…"

"Where airen and pervert-girl go?" snapped Shampoo. Her face was set in stone.

"Shampoo," Cologne said quietly. "Remember how you got into this mess to begin with. Be patient and listen to everyone very carefully."

"What Great-grandmother mean?" Shampoo followed the line of Mousse's pointing arm. She wished she could do the tracking technique, but hadn't picked it up yet.

"You gave a 'kiss of death' in a fit of pique and have been cursed and outcast for two years now. You knew it was optional, but had to act the tough traditionalist," Cologne knocked her pipe out against her staff and began to refill it. "You thought Barry might be drugged and your description certainly seems to confirm it. You believe Akane, with the help of Genma and Soun, kidnapped him?"

Shampoo nodded angrily. "Akane no drugged! Must be part of plot."

"Dear, can you really imagine Akane being underhanded that way?" Cologne chuckled. "Or that she would consider marrying Ranma with Barry still inhabiting his body, a way to gain a better hold on Ranma when he came back?" Shampoo looked confused. "I could perhaps imagine Barry doing that to Akane if he was planning to stay, but the other way around?" She sighed and sparked the pipe to life with projective ki. "Don't do or say anything you would regret, child. Let's find them and sort things out peacefully… at least till we know what's going on."

"Their signal has steadied down." Mousse continued to point. "That way."

"How far?" asked Nodoka sharply.

"You can't really tell with this technique," Mousse apologized. "But I'd say not _too_ far. Why?"

"By rooftop, that's the direction my house is in," Nodoka said thinly.

"Let's go, then," Shampoo said.

"Everyone stick together and cover each other!" called out Cologne.

Ukyo eyed her. "What for?"

"Barry is under the influence of a drug, yet has all of Ranma's power. Do I really need to elaborate?" She hopped up on her staff and leaped for the fence and from there to the dojo roof. The party moved off into the night.

* * *

Ten or fifteen minutes later, two bedraggled figures in torn tuxes stumbled through the dojo gate. They carefully closed the gate then wove their way up the path to the front door. 

"It's a good thing we found that tea shop still open, Saotome! Panda fur is particularly rank when it's wet. I wonder where everyone is?" Soun mumbled. "I'd think they'd be home by now. Oh! Kasumi? Ha, ha-ha!"

"Kasumi! How nice to see you so late." Genma and Soun were confronted by the solemn faced young woman and began to sweat. Kasumi did not look happy. In fact, Kasumi looked peeved. Kasumi, gentle Kasumi, was holding a shinai with the same authority with which Nodoka normally handled her katana.

"Father. Uncle Saotome." The greeting did not lighten the atmosphere. Genma felt being a panda would be a good idea, but didn't dare move. "Where are Ranma and Akane?"

"Umm… Weren't they going to the Nekohanten?" offered Soun, looking away. "Isn't that what…"

"They never reached the Nekohanten!" Kasumi said firmly. "You went with them, _remember_?" The shinai tapped lightly across her arm. "We already know about the chapel."

Soun and Genma froze and not only because of the revelation of her knowledge. From behind Kasumi glided Ninomiya Hinako, coin in hand. Soun met her eyes and shriveled. There was a lot of contempt in those beautiful eyes.

Hinako's throaty voice laid down the law. "You two will tell us everything you have done, where Ranma and Akane are and how you plan to possibly atone for this breech of moral and ethical standards."

* * *

Akane wheezed a bit as she set Barry down on the stoop. The door was locked. She patted his pockets looking for a key. Surely he had a key? If he did, he was using hidden weapons for it, because she couldn't find it, and was totally unwilling to search under his clothes in case she was wrong. As she searched, she felt a faint mist seem to spring up, and realized it was beginning to rain.

It took only seconds until Ranma's curse was activated and a redhead lay sprawled beside the door. She jerked as Ranma's girl form suddenly curled around herself and cried out in pain. Akane dropped to her knees and pulled the smaller form close, ignoring the fact that the tattered rentals were getting muddy.

"Barry," in her own ears, her voice was slow and thick, "what's wrong?"

"It _hurts_!" the feminine tones grated past clenched teeth. "I don't…" She cried out again. "Gwen, it hurts. I'm sorry!"

Akane gulped. Barry didn't openly use his wife's name very often, usually only in his sleep. She shook the slight form lightly, but it was like shaking a rock, so tightly were the muscles locked. Tight, gasping breaths were beginning to come, forced past teeth and through lips locked in a grimace of pain. The blue eyes went wide, as did her mouth, and the panting was growing worse.

'Don't do anything unless you're told to.' She couldn't even use her ki! She struggled against the inhibitions, beginning to cry in helplessness. Akane felt the sudden presence behind her. Her head snapped around. Forms moved toward her out of the dark. For an instant, she was in the park again, as the boys approached a young girl…

Shampoo came out of the darkness in a rush, her arms closing about them both. "Akane! What is wrong? Why Barry…?"

"He's drugged! Something else besides what you said. It's hurting him!" She gasped out. Suddenly hands were lifting them both and carrying them into the house. She had a blurred impression of Nodoka turning on lights and rushing for the first aid kit she kept in the kitchen. Cologne was checking Barry's eyes for response and dilation. She poked a few points on the girl's straining body then frowned and poked them again. She frowned and waved away Natsume and Kurumi when they pressed too close.

"Akane, Shampoo, watch the ki lines for me!" They focused and she prodded. "Is there any change?" she demanded. They shook their heads. "He's already maxed-out then." She stroked her hand along the taut body, ignoring the groans and panting. "Stupid! Get me some hot water, _fast_!" Mousse jerked and rushed for the kitchen, almost running over Nodoka who was coming the other way with the first aid kit and a kettle. "Not you, boy!" Cologne called out at the frantically dodging man. Somehow, he and Nodoka negotiated one another. She poured and watched the girl shudder out into the young man. The body relaxed somewhat.

"He's simply passed out," Cologne commented. "Best thing, under the circumstances. She hopped over to Akane and took her chin in her hands. She gave her a thorough visual examination and directed Shampoo's attention to her pupils. "See how dilated the eyes are, dear? It's one of the signs of the hypnotic I used on Ranma after the pool incident. If you notice, Akane has also been affected. He doesn't show the other symptoms because they've been masked and altered by this other drug."

"How did he get both in his system?" Nodoka stood tense and angry beside her son.

"Probably much the way Shampoo deduced, dear," Cologne replied. "Some young man with enough money to buy this new bit of poison on the market and the arrogance to believe he could get away with using it." She sighed. "There's nothing we can do except alleviate some of the symptoms and try to keep him comfortable till it's through his system." Shampoo nodded and knelt beside him to monitor his condition. "Be particularly watchful of the condition of the liver, dear. He loses that; the kindest thing we can do is give him a quick death." She scowled. "He's strong. He should pull through this, though it could take days."

At Akane's gasp, she turned toward her and quickly tapped two points, one on her neck and one at the back of her head. "_That_ will let you act normally till the drug wears off."

"Oh, Auntie Nodoka!" Akane suddenly threw herself in the older woman's arms. "I tried to tell them something was wrong! I _tried_!"

Nodoka tried to shift her katana somewhere so that she could reciprocate the hug and comfort Akane. Finally, she handed it to Ukyo before patting the short dark hair and stroking the tattered white gown. "There, there, dear. I'm sure you did your best. Can you tell us what happened?"

Akane recounted the evening's activities as best she could. Because she had been so focused on trying to break the hypnotic's control, she only skimmed the surface after they arrived at the chapel. "…and when the minister asked if there was any reason we should not be," she summarized, "Barry said he was married already!" She laughed through her tears and heard astonished noises from those present. "P-poor Father was fit to be tied and blamed Uncle Saotome right away. He demon-headed him and scared the minister half to death."

"I'm afraid this is going to be dearest's last mistake in this family," Nodoka said, going quiet and deadly. "I can't trust him around his own daughters or any possible grandchildren to come." Suddenly, it was Akane comforting Nodoka, as she saw no way out of her predicament than calling Genma on his honor.

Shampoo half rose from her kneeling position beside Ranma's body. "Great-grandmother!" Her voice was sharp. Something was happening.

* * *

Soun was floating. It wasn't terribly unpleasant, though the loss of control was unsettling. The worst part was Ninomiya-child sitting firmly at the table, ignoring him as if he were some unpleasant bit of dirt that had blown by. He wept softly. They hadn't even gotten the two married! It was all for nothing. And now Miya would hate him forever. The phone rang and he heard the murmur of Kasumi talking in the kitchen. 

He considered. Maybe he could get some more of the drug and get Genma to hypnotize him into not caring. His heart felt like it was being crushed! But wouldn't it be better than this pain?

His ears were still alert, and he heard Kasumi's sudden sob. His Kasumi? Crying? He struggled to lift his head, but it felt like hours were passing. He realized Miya had heard it, too. She had risen to her feet and skipped into the kitchen at the sound and he heard them whispering. Then the outside kitchen door opened and there was a dull 'BOOOM!' as Ninomiya released the ki she retained. After a moment, they returned to the main room. An adult Hinako supported Kasumi gently, as if she were somehow fragile and not the mainstay of the Tendo household. Kasumi stood hunched, as if in pain, her smile wooden and lifeless.

"Kasumi?" he whispered.

"F-f-father…" She broke into tears.

"What's going on," Nabiki asked in a worried voice from the hall.

* * *

Soun and Genma burst through the front door of the Saotome residence to find the lighting dim and the room strangely quiet. The house was crowded, but no one looked up at their entrance. They were focused on two forms on the table, laid out with hands clasped on their breasts in a death-like stillness. In the weird silence, Kurumi's muffled wails could be heard from the room above, while Natsume stood quietly next to Ryu, and Shampoo and Ukyo seemed to cling for mutual comfort. Ryoga and Mousse leaned against a wall, their faces studies of anger and contempt. Beside the table, Nodoka knelt, cold steel across the silk of her kimono. Across from her crouched Cologne. On the table, lay Ranma in girl-type, in the rumpled stained tux, and Akane in the remains of her muddy wedding dress. Their faces looked strange, waxy. Everyone looked strange, in fact as if they were… 

…attending a funeral.

Soun sobbed and Genma sank stunned to his knees. "W-what happened?" The latter asked. No one seemed to notice them at all in the eerie stillness.

"You happened," came a voice out of nowhere. It wasn't Ranma's voice, but was strangely similar. Genma looked around, shaking. "Why?" the voice asked.

"Why?" Genma echoed. Indeed, and why was everything so still?

Feminine tones cracked out, hollow and distant, "Why did you do this to us?"

"A-akane?" Soun blinked. That second voice sounded like his daughter, but she lay there on the table looking d-d-d…

"Couldn't you understand?" disembodied voices said, quiet, sad.

"Oh, gods!" Soun gulped sinking to his knees now. "What have we done?"

"But, how?" begged Genma. "How did this happen?"

"Does it matter? If this is the end, does it matter?" Akane's voice again, shaking with emotion.

"No! No! I didn't want this!" wailed Soun. "My baby. You needed Ranma! But you wouldn't stop fighting! You wouldn't see what was in each others eyes!"

"How many times did ya jump in and push, when we were takin' our first steps?" Ranma's voice crackled with contempt as it spoke. "Didn't ya see the harder ya pushed us together, the faster we flew apart?"

"Why?" whispered Akane's voice.

"When I lost your mother, I _died_!" sobbed Soun. "Only you kept me alive, you and your sisters, being there, needing me, even as bad as I was. I felt you were most like me, Akane. I saw you beginning to love him. I knew how you would feel when he was gone. Every fight has tested him to his limits. I thought…I hoped you would have something of him when he was gone, even as I had something of your mother in you." He spoke into the floorboards now, sobbing and grief-stricken. Soft sobs seemed to echo from some other plane.

"Genma Saotome." Genma jerked as that near-Ranma voice singled him out again. "Why?"

"Why?" Genma knelt as Soun did, but his voice seemed tired and thoughtful rather than grief-stricken. "I was greedy. I was stupid. I was unlucky, too, I suppose. Maybe I'm cursed. I've always managed to destroy what was best in my life, or run away from it."

"Why?"

"Does it matter, now?" He sighed. "I put the powder in their drinks. I had my doubts about the idea, but…" He didn't finish.

"But what?" Genma stared at the floor, his jaw working.

"I talked him into it," Soun sobbed. "I got the powder and tried to drug Ranma at the school dance. I wanted him to propose to Akane in front of all the students. I drank his drink by accident, then Ninomiya…" He gulped. "It seemed perfect. I pushed Saotome to help me."

Genma jerked. Soun's eyes were on the floor, but he had seen everyone's head swivel to focus on them. His threat senses were off-scale before, but now…!

"What would you give to have them back?"

Soun's sobs stopped. Genma's hair was standing on end. That had been a real voice, Ranma's girl-type voice. Their eyes bugged out as the two on the table rose as if jointed only at the waist, twisted, stood and began to tread slowly toward them. The waxen skin glistened in the dim light.

"Akane," Soun breathed and would have run even to this zombie-esque version of her, but Genma stopped him.

"Get back, Tendo!" he snapped. "I don't know what's going on, but you still have Kasumi and Nabiki. Get out of here!" He shouted as the pair came on while the watching mourners sat still as stone. His skin crawled as the cursed form that had tormented his son, and haunted and betrayed his own dreams for so long, came into reach. He struck!

"Leave him alone!" he bellowed. Despite his best efforts, he was soon on his back struggling, held by the Ranma and Akane zombies in skillful submission holds. "Leave Soun alone, dammit!" He heaved to little effect.

"Whew! He wasn't holding anything back, was he?" Akane-zombie commented.

"Nope! He was fooled. And, I think, scared enough to understand that what he did was wrong," agreed the waxen lips of girl-type Ranma. Some of the wax fell off and landed on Genma's face. Genma stopped struggling and stared. The face smiled and more wax flaked off, leaving healthy-looking skin behind. The lights came up, and he could see the girl's eyes, glittering and alive. "Gotcha!" she murmured to him.

* * *

Genma was pouting and Soun was stewing in a funk. The former had been so unnerved by the unexpected ploy that he had almost ignored Nodoka's brusque manner with him. Soun could only hold Akane in his arms and cry. Her own annoyance had given way to pity and she was patting his shoulder, trying to reassure him that she was alive. 

Kurumi was livid. She had been wailing at the top of her lungs because her sister didn't trust her not to give away the surprise. Natsume tied her to a beam in the bedroom upstairs and gagged her. This was after she tried to monopolize the telephone when they called Kasumi to set this up.

Barry, restored to male form again, was reassuring her that the noise she made had added an eerie counterpoint to everyone else's silence. Somewhat mollified, she now refrained from attacking her sister, a good idea with Ryu present. Barry turned to the fathers. "Think you guys have learned a lesson?"

"What lesson?" growled Genma. Behind him, Nodoka's face went still and her right hand twitched on the katana hilt. Panda-baka could be incredibly dense sometimes.

"Akane and I could have died." He glared at them wearily. "You could have lost both of us if we hadn't gotten lucky. Once Cologne adjusted my ki, I had enough leeway to speed things up and buffer my body from the side effects. If I hadn't, I would have died, because the junk you dosed us with mixed badly with a drug some other jackass added to my drink this evening. We're only lucky he didn't try to hit on Akane as well."

"What!" He had their attention. "Then it's not our…"

"Shut up! It _is_ your fault! It was a reprehensible act to try." Barry didn't bother to hide his vocabulary or his disgust. "Look at me, dammit! I think some guy was trying to put the moves on my girl-form using a drug. I was a hair…" He held up his fingers in a mere slit. "…just a _hair _this side of kicking the bucket when you idiots were leading us down the aisle. If you had cared a whit for what was best for us, you would have noticed something was wrong." Barry shook his head. "When the rain forced me into girl-type, I had less mass to resist the drug. I've never felt pain like that."

"A martial artist should be immune to pain!" snapped Genma.

"Who are _you_ to talk?" Barry popped back. "I've seen how you act with a splinter in your finger, so don't give me that bullcrap!" He frowned at them. Soun was dividing his attention between Barry and Akane, who was peeling off the layer of wax, which had made her skin corpse-like. "I think it's time we dropped the charades." He noted others in the room tense.

"I am _not_ Ranma Saotome," he announced. "Not in consciousness, at least. I can't and won't marry Akane, lovely as she is, because _I_ am married already. Your Ranma and I exchanged places three months ago and Akane and her friends have been working to get him back ever since. We didn't tell you because we figured you'd do something stupid like this. Now I'm telling you, because you _better _not try it again." The fathers gaped. They looked at him and their jaws worked silently. "I've done the best I could to live up to Ranma's honor and intentions. I've slipped here and there, but I'm not Ranma. Remember that. Remember, because, if you screw up our getting him back… get in the way, even a little bit; Nodoka's _katana_ will be a blessing." They shivered.

Genma ventured, "My son would never…"

"I'm _not_ your son. I have values totally alien to your culture. I have neither Ranma's control nor discretion." He eyed Genma who subsided. "If your son were the ham-handed, amoral fighter you trained him to be, panda-baka, I'd seriously consider staying! Fortunately, your son is a man among men by my standards and by your wife's, an individual of superb control and restraint. You'd do well to emulate the man your son has become. I admire him. But remember, I am _not_ him!"

Soun swallowed. "This is no stranger than anything else that happens to Ranma. But…" He looked down at Akane. He crushed her against his chest once more sobbing, "Oh, my poor baby!"

"Ease off, Tendo! Make okonomiyaki outa the tomboy and Ranma will be pissed." Soun released her, gasping and blue, as Ranma-esque tones and voice shocked him back. "Akane's been central to getting him back. We spent about sixteen hours today… yesterday," he corrected himself, "trying to untangle the mess that we're in. Teaching Akane and the others ki-manipulation was part of the path toward this goal."

"Where _is_ Ranma?"

"In my body, we think. I'm from an alternate world or timeline, based on the evidence. Since nobody there is a martial artist of the caliber he'd need for help, he's almost certainly working alone." Barry shrugged. "That's provided I'm not in a coma or something. I had a fall from an unruly horse."

Barry summarized the last four months in fifteen minutes for the fathers. He didn't give them anything beyond the basics, of course, just enough to let them feel they had the highlights. As he finished, Nabiki and Kasumi walked in. The former was white faced and very upset, while Kasumi seemed merely resigned. Nabiki marched straight up to Barry and smacked him across the face. She looked astonished at the wax on her hand and at Akane's peeling appearance. She gulped and then glared again as if she might have another go at him.

"Sorry, I couldn't let you know about the plan up front, Nabiki" Barry said, peeling away the wax her blow had dislodged. He eyed her warily. "If it helps, the story was almost true."

"That doesn't help!" she growled. She turned on her heel and stomped over to Akane, looking her over carefully before turning, arms crossed, to once again present the ice queen to her audience. Barry suspected that Nabiki had been more than shaken at the suggestion that her little sister was dead.

"Well, if everyone understands what's going on," suggested Kasumi, "I suggest getting some sleep. We can sort the rest out tomorrow, I'm sure."

"You _knew_ about this?" Soun quavered. He was shocked.

"Oh, Father," she chided. "Barry has been a perfect gentleman and helped Akane learn how to get Ranma back. He has never taken advantage of the situation."

"He has my sanction as well, husband," Nodoka informed Genma.

"And mine," conceded Cologne. "Just to let you understand, he gained my agreement to get your son back without sacrificing Akane's claim to Ranma. In fact, she's in a slightly better, if more hazardous position, in the eyes of the Matriarchy."

"What does _that_ mean?" Genma complained.

"It means we won't nip out of the country with Ranma the moment your backs are turned," the old woman clarified dryly.

"Akane, what does she mean 'better, but more hazardous'?" Soun asked, frowning.

Kasumi interrupted again. "Really father! Don't you think everyone has had enough for tonight? If Barry was as ill as Cologne says he was, he needs his rest. The same goes for everyone else. It's nearly morning already."

"Kasumi… has… spoken-n-n-n-n." There were many raised eyebrows and Kasumi blushed at the deep, hollow intonation Barry made by cupping his hands. He grinned. No one got the joke… again. Well, maybe Kasumi.

"What was that supposed to be, Barry?" Akane asked.

He sighed. "Never mind." Cross culture jokes almost never worked for some reason.

* * *

It was after dawn when he felt a poke in his side. His ki-sense flared and he recognized Genma. "Watcha want, Pops," he mumbled sleepily. He hoped the big idiot wasn't planning on training, not after last night's revelations! He surged awake, not knowing what the older Saotome wanted or whether he might have some ridiculous (and possibly dangerous) exorcism planned. He rolled away and came to Ranma's relaxed ready stance in an instant, prepared to defend himself, but the other man simply stood and watched him. Finally, Genma shook his head.

"It's uncanny." That was all the other said for a while. Barry kept his guard up. Everything told him the older man was not threatening him, but Genma was a crafty old bugger, more cunning than brilliant. Ranma's father dropped to a cross-legged seat and looked up at him inscrutably. Barry debated his options. The safest option was to sit too close for Genma to easily launch punches or kicks and too far for him to use his greater weight in grappling and throws. He sat and eyed the man, using the time to assess the body he wore, un-kink muscles and prepare it for anything.

"How can you be so much like my son?" Genma asked. "I've spent years with him and yet, you walked in and simply took over without anyone noticing."

"Akane noticed in seconds," Barry said then wished he hadn't. God knew how that statement would affect Ranma and Akane's future choices.

"Yes," Genma smiled wryly, behind his glasses. "Tendo's girls chose better than they knew." The smile went away. "What are the chances of getting my son back?" he asked.

"I don't know, Mr. Saotome," Barry answered him. "We're pretty much making this up as we go along." He let his eyes drop to his hands, resting on his knees, offering an apparent opening to attack. Genma didn't take it. "Cologne seems to feel that, when the time comes, we'll exchange places. There's also a chance it won't work at all and we'll both wind up dead."

"Such is the path of a martial artist," Genma spoke quietly. "And what of you? Any idea why this happened?"

"I wish I knew," Barry sighed heavily. "I guess it depends on whether you believe in destiny or random chance, accident or design."

"What do you believe?"

Barry wondered where this was leading. He stared at the man he had started off despising and now pitied. There was something pleading in his tone. "Destiny and design, I guess, but with free will thrown in." Genma frowned. "We all make choices, Mr. Saotome. For good or ill. Take yours, for example…"

"I'd rather not," the other flushed in shame.

"Let me finish. You've done some truly horrible things to Ranma. Yet they strengthened him. Without the Nekoken, he'd be a husband in China by now and very unhappy." The glasses gleamed as Genma's head moved slightly. "Take Ryoga; without his stubbornness and anger, Ranma would really never have exceeded his limits. Consider any of the kidnappings, the challenges, Akane's poundings, the curse… They all pushed him to excel where anyone else would have been satisfied to be merely the best. He is what he is because of the trauma of his life."

"Stress produces change," Genma nodded.

"But change is not always good," Barry replied. "Ranma has fears. Oh, not of death, but of loss. His mother, Ukyo…" Genma twitched. "…Akane, his respect for his father…" Genma twitched again. "I could go on. That last is why I've been pushing you, especially once I heard of his sisters, to change your life."

"You're a meddler," the other accused testily.

"Lord! Who wouldn't be? But we're off the subject." Barry shifted. "You asked _why_ this happened. I don't know. What I have considered is that it may have absolutely nothing to do with Ranma. I didn't even think of that until a few weeks ago, but I've made key decisions for Ranma, and made them in ways he would not have… at least not without a little coaching. The results have, like a stone thrown in a pond, far-reaching effects." Barry sought for answers to give this man.

"Wouldn't you think that, with your mission done, you two would — I don't know — switch back?"

"What's the mission?"

"How's that?" Genma asked.

"What's the mission? Nobody ever told me, nor did they make any promises, that if I did x, y, and z, I'd get home… or that Ranma would."

They sat in silence and watched the sun brighten the skies through the east windows. Genma slowly nodded off, exhausted. He nodded and bobbed slightly in place, still upright, his snores becoming evident. Barry grinned and nudged him.

"I'm awake!" Genma said, turning as if nothing had happened.

"Damn! You remind me of Dad in so many ways." Genma's eyes widened slightly.

"Your father was a martial artist?"

"No. A corporate lawyer, and a damn good one, but so many of your mannerisms are like his, and your wife looks so much like a younger version of Mom."

"Do you think you're sort of an alternate Ranma?" Genma asked curiously.

"I seriously doubt it, Genma. There are a lot of similarities, but there are a lot of differences, too."

"Such as?"

"Ranma has his curse to be both male and female. It may not be relevant, but I was a fraternal twin whose 'other half' didn't make it. If that twin was female, it could be construed that she 'drowned', a weird parallel to Jusenkyo. Our parents are similar; we both have fathers at the top of their professions. Our eyes are almost identical. We had mothers who were overprotective when we were young." Barry considered a moment. "Ranma is the only child, but I was the youngest by six years. I met my wife, who is very like Ukyo by the way, when we were young children and she decided, then and there, she was going to marry me. She didn't tell me of course, she simply pursued me quietly. She became my best friend.

"Shortly before that though, I met a girl in school when I was only a little younger than Ranma was when he was thrown in with Akane. She wore short hair, was a bit of a tomboy and liked to hit me with fists, feet, elbows, books and once, a folding chair. It took me hitting her back and yelling at her in front of the class to make her leave me alone. She was cute, but acted un-cute, and I wouldn't put up with it. I don't even remember her name. It was a while after that when I began to look at Gwen with something a bit more serious than friendship."

Genma shifted uncomfortably. "Are you trying to say that Ukyo would be better for Ranma?"

"Nothing of the sort. I'm pointing out similarities. I was also challenged in high school by someone very much like Kuno. He was a better fighter than I was, but I won, not necessarily by beating him physically, but by being right. I pointed out what his bullying was, refused to back down, took my lumps and went right after him again. He found he couldn't bully me into silence, nor could he prevent me from disrupting his plans. We never became friends, but he respected me."

"Are you the best at what you do?" Genma wanted to know.

"I wish." Barry pondered as the light came in brighter, playing with the dust motes that swirled from their steady breathing. "That's the big difference, of course. I was always comfortable, never pushed except by external necessity, my personal best was always good enough for my audience and I sought no higher. I had a stable, happy childhood till the day my father died when I was fifteen." He sent out a puff of air to make the motes swirl. "Ranma has never been comfortable, his personal best was never accepted as good enough, he has always been driven by everyone and everything. When he was fifteen, he lost his father, in a way, when you broke your leg and he finally got some regular schooling. He had never questioned your motives before. But, stuck as you were, you couldn't make him steal for you. You were in no condition to run from the police. You had to explain to him that the previous ten years you had had him acting dishonorably."

Genma swallowed, a deep almost belching sound in the still morning.

"Of course you didn't explain it like that, but Ranma is as cunning as you and far from stupid. He listened, he emulated, he absorbed what was considered right and noble. It fit in with some of his earliest memories of his mother. He wanted to be accepted, to belong. He began to make friends of a kind and watched some TV. Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan, among others, became role models. So he took what you offered, made it his own and went his own path, separate from yours. Jusenkyo killed what little respect he had left."

"If Ranma lost… his father," Genma said, his voice harsh. "Why have you tried to change _me_?"

Barry thought on that awhile. He had never really thought about why he had done all that. He just had. Then he heard the stirrings in other parts of the house and realized he had the answer.

"Because I loved my father deeply. To me he was everything that was right and just in the world. He never let me, or any of his family, down except through death. The way you resemble my father nagged at me and Nodoka's sorrow nagged at me, until I tried and hoped that somewhere in you was a spark of what my Dad had." He looked directly at the other man. "Actually, I was surprised. You have more than a spark, but it's hard to ignite wood soaked in years of habit. You, Genma Saotome, must consciously make the right choices just like Ranma has to learn to be sociable and not insult Akane." He smiled. "Maybe that's part of why I'm here and Ranma's where my wife is. He can learn how to be comfortable and… sociable and you can learn to be responsible."

"Are you serious?" Genma was appalled. What if the only way to get Ranma back was making a conscious effort to be…? (Eeuw!) …honorable and… (Urk!) …conscientious and… (Gag!) …a comfortable family man surrounded by a loving family. He paused and re-checked that last thought. Come to think of it, it sounded awfully tempting.

Nodoka tightened her sash as she came into the room. Upstairs, a yelling match had begun between Natsume and Kurumi in Ranma's old room. "Dearest," she said annoyed. "Wasn't it enough to try to poison him yesterday? Let him get some sleep!"

"It's all right, Mo—! Mrs. Saotome," Barry corrected himself quickly. No need for appearances, anymore. "We had a nice talk. Probably would have played _Shogi_, if I knew how…"

Nodoka nodded, scowled faintly at her husband and retreated to the kitchen. Genma sighed and looked after her wistfully.

"I take it you were relegated to the couch?" Barry asked with a wry smile. Genma blinked and looked puzzled. "She was not happy with you?"

"No. She's _definitely_ not happy with me." Genma sighed. "Things were going so well, too."

"You know what the answer is," Barry stated. Genma frowned and the lines around his lips tightened. "I won't say anything more, Genma. Each man digs his own grave." He left the man looking at his hands and entered the kitchen. "Good morning, Mrs. Saotome."

"Good morning, Barry-san." She smiled in a weary manner as she prepared breakfast for the family. "Are you certain you got enough sleep?"

She caught him in the middle of a yawn. He grimaced, gave her a look and chuckled. "I can catch up on it later. Can I help with anything?"

"Yes. Call your… _Ranma's_ sisters to come down and help me in here," she said with a smile. "Expect complaints." Her eyes twinkled slightly.

"If they're anything like my sisters at the same age, expect war! Okay." He shrugged. He walked to the bottom of the steps. "Natsume! Kurumi! Mother would like you to help in the kitchen!"

There was an ever so brief pause in the action upstairs, then…

(Rumble, rumble, rumble,_ rumble,_ _rumble, rumble,_ RUMBLE, _RUMBLE_…)

The two girls pelted down the steps, in their pajamas, grumbling and accusing one another of various misdeeds. Kurumi was obviously still peeved about being tied up last night, and Natsume was defending her position by bringing up every possible mistake her sister had made since she had learned to walk (maybe before), and presenting it in the worst possible light.

They paused again briefly as Nodoka hugged them, gave and received a light kiss on the cheek, then began arguing about what duties it was, individually, their turn to do and whether other circumstances might dictate that certain duties might devolve back to one or the other of them. Nodoka checked them gently; assigned tasks and they went to work amid other minor differences of opinion.

Barry noticed their body language around Nodoka. Kurumi loved her fiercely, possessively and absolutely. It was, for her, a fairy tale come true. Natsume was more reserved, less demonstrative, but Nodoka's treatment had obviously won her as well. The scene made him remember his own mother and sisters in his childhood. That thought in mind, he turned back to Genma with a grin. If he had him pegged right…

Genma sat frowning, wincing at every sharp sound the two made, his harmony disrupted by the murmur, the sharp exclamations and the occasional loud squabble. His time in Soun's house had not prepared him for this, as there was so little overlap between the Tendo girls' duties and habits that they hardly argued at all. The arguments between Ranma and Akane had a different edge than this and it simply wasn't the same.

"Wanna spar, old man?"

Genma gave him a surprised look then smiled. He whispered, "It's preferable to listening to this hen-chatter. I won't go easy on you, boy!"

"Feh! Don't forget I'm as old as you, old man! Maybe I'll be slow enough to give you a chance, but don't bet on it!" They dodged out into the back yard.

Barry felt almost deliriously free as he bounded into the yard. From the house they heard the complaints of the sisters, as they immediately wanted to drop what they were doing and join the two at their game. Cries of anguish brought a sly smile to Genma's lips as Nodoka firmly ordered them to stay, they could play later.

Without further preliminaries, they attacked, blocking, punching, feinting, testing the other's responses. Barry saw an opening, knew it for the feint it was, offered for it anyway to draw Genma out and… (Crunch!) Genma was upside down in the garden wall. Which was strange; Barry hadn't _planned_ to do that. Genma peeled himself off the wall and grinned maniacally.

"So, you want to play rough?" The older man asked, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

"Actually…" Barry sweated. He hadn't planned that, so why did it happen? Genma barreled back in, pressing him harder, Barry offered an opening that should lead to a grappling move by the other that could be turned into a simple but effective hip throw. It worked and Genma skidded across the grass. He picked himself up, and began to circle back in. Barry felt something build in him as they closed for a series of kicks and punches. Something wasn't right. He had better control than this, even if it was second-hand. Something… clicked.

"Genma! Salmon kick, now!"

Startled, the older man did just that — kicked off in a vertical jump that interrupted the flow of combat even as Barry's hand, held open and edge-first, snapped at his neck like an axe. Instead of the juncture of the fourth and fifth vertebra of the neck, it struck the meaty part of his shoulder, the force tumbling Genma nose for tail in mid-air. He rose, rubbing his shoulder.

"You're better than Ranma at distraction, Barry-san," he grinned, rotating the shoulder. "It won't work again, though."

"Back off, Saotome! Something's wrong!" He leaped up onto the roof to gain some distance in case the other man didn't listen. "I had you jump because I couldn't stop that shot at your neck. I almost killed you!"

"Come now," Genma replied frowning. The door to the house opened and Nodoka came out.

"Barry-san," she spoke in disapproving tones, "you know I don't like you two fighting on the roof!"

"I needed the space, Nodoka. Something's wrong!"

The use of her given name and his tone frightened her. "Is something wrong between you and Ranma?" she asked, concerned.

"I don't know! I don't think so!" Barry swallowed. "I've lost my controls! I'm back to being as dangerous as when I first came here!" He was pale and sweating. "Dear God! All those kinks and tangles Akane got rid of! That was how I controlled this body! I was creating a feedback loop to Ranma." He sat down on the roof. "All yesterday and last night, I could have cut loose and killed people without even thinking."

Nodoka decided that to be practical about it would be the best way. "You didn't though. And you don't really know, do you?" He shook his head. "Why don't you come down and have breakfast. Then we'll call Akane and have her look at you. Maybe there is some way to fix this, or perhaps there's something more you can do to get my son back."

"Leave my breakfast in the garden," Barry countered. "Then you guys head over to the Tendo's. I don't want to risk hurting anyone."

Genma turned to his wife. "I'm staying here," he said, "You take the girls with you."

"Hey!" yelled Kurumi. 'We're martial artists, too, ya know!" She and her sister had followed Nodoka out of the house.

"I don't want to hurt Ranma's sisters by accident," Barry told her. "Right now, if you get into a fight with me, I can't control the instincts. Ranma's body will go all out; and Ranma fought and, finally, _killed _a kami-lord that way. You saw how Ukyo, Ryoga and I fought at the school dance? That_ wasn't _all-out."

They fell silent. Nodoka turned and re-entered the house to make the call to Akane. "You wouldn't really hurt me, would you?" Kurumi gave her best 'I'm so cute and helpless' look.

"Honey, I'd rather cut off my own arm. Trouble is, _that_ arm is a universe away, along with the person who _can_ control this body!"

"Yah know, this really bites," complained the younger sister. Natsume merely watched him.

"Why?" he asked.

"We thought you were Ranma. And I was really beginning to like ya." She scuffed a toe. "What if we don't like him?"

"What's not to like?" Barry grinned. "Ya know how I've teased you guys this past week?"

Natsume made a small disgusted noise and looked skyward. She had been tormented particularly thoroughly and had been infuriated when her attempts to retaliate were sloughed off or ignored. "What about it?" she spoke finally.

"Ranma probably won't tease as much, but he'll be easier _to_ tease." Kurumi grinned. "Don't be surprised if he gives Ryu the third degree." Barry looked at the Natsume; her stern, beautiful features made her resemble a Greek statue of Athena he had once seen. "He thinks highly of Ryu, but you know guys. You're his sister and _nobody_ is gonna be good enough for _his_ sister." Natsume snorted disbelievingly. "Be nice, guys. He's gonna be feeling like he's gotta compete with me for a while. He might need your support, but he'll never admit that."

"You sound like you're saying goodbye," Natsume stated quietly.

"You never know." Barry left that thought unembellished.

Fifteen minutes later, Akane crossed the nearby rooftops and glided to a stop well out of arm's reach. "I heard about the trouble, Barry," she said. "What can I do?"


	56. Ultimate Challenges

**Guest Ki: Chapter 55**

_**Ultimate Challenges**_

"I heard about the trouble, Barry," Akane said. "What can I do?" She was dressed, rather incongruously, in one of Ranma's fighting outfits. He thought to ask why she was dressed like that, but her query had derailed that question for now.

"Keep everyone away from me,I guess," Barry said wryly. He glanced at her, the pain in his eyes making her wince. "I think someone is putting in a little hint that my stay is over," he added. He heard Nodoka and Ranma's sisters leave, Kurumi sniffling loudly. It was Natsume, though, who turned and looked back at them, even though they were hidden by the peak of the roof.

"If only that were true," Akane said wryly. "You better stop feeling sorry for yourself!" Barry looked hurt. He expected sympathy from Akane, not this! "Tell me what happened," she demanded. He was forced to detail the morning and his dangerous treatment of Ranma's father. She interrogated Genma, who, true to his word, had remained. She gave Barry a look half pity, half disgust.

"Now what?" he grumbled.

"I can't believe you!" she said. "The answer is obvious and not nearly as bad as you seem to think it is."

"What?"

"You had to be pressed, threatened, before you began using dangerous moves, right?"

"Well," Barry thought. "But what difference…"

"You only countered dangerously when your opponent was a threat, if he was serious, right?"

"What the hell difference does that make, tomboy?" he snapped at her. "I'm no martial artist." He trailed off as she was shaking a finger at him.

"You weren't a martial artist, you mean. And, I suppose you _aren't_ a martial artist of Ranma's caliber, but…" She paused for effect. "…You're a good judge now of character and of a person's body language. You injure only when someone can push you, make you afraid." Akane looked gravely at him then started walking toward him. "I'm enough of a threat, if we fight, that I can push you that far, Barry." He backed to the edge of the roof as she followed.

"What do you think you're doing, Akane?"

"Proving my point. You're body knows I can hurt it. Your mind knows that I won't." She moved closer. "You're going to have to decide what it's going to be, Barry."

"Akane! This… you could get hurt."

"But you won't. You promised Ranma." She was almost in range. "And you're my friend. I can't believe that you would ever hurt me, any more than Ranma would."

"Not deliberately," Barry grated. She stepped up to him and placed her hands on his shoulders. He flinched, but didn't lash out. If he moved more than a fraction, he'd have to jump from the roof. "Akane…"

"Most people, even if they attack you, will never provoke those moves," she said quietly. "The only reason you were so dangerous at first was that you were in a new place under strange circumstances. I think you've acquired the ability to judge an opponent's skill. Most of Ranma's enemies are _your_ friends, now. _His_ friends, too, if he controls his mouth." The last was said sadly and with an expectation of failure to come.

"Have some faith in him, will ya?" Barry countered. "But you're right in a way. He's going to need to be handled with kid gloves for a while."

Akane sighed. "Let's go down and take a look at your ki. I've called the Nekohanten and Cologne and Shampoo will be here around after lunch rush." She hopped down, followed by Ranma's father.

* * *

Not far away, a shriveled little figure sat up suddenly. His mouth felt like he'd been eating garbage, his head like the inside of an English bell tower after an exceptional ring of bells. His hands shook like the wings of a hummingbird and his temper was about as short. Unfortunately, these were the only things he had in common with those jewel-like natural marvels. Happosai sat up from a Saturday night of drinking, pinching girls and generally making a pest of himself. 

"Why does the sun have to rise so early?" he grumbled. He looked around. This seemed a familiar alleyway. He grumbled softly and staggered to his feet, glad for once that his short stature made this a short trip. He looked at his hands, old and wrinkled. "No wonder I feel so bad," he muttered. He had to get a charge then do a quick stint of panty raids to develop his long-range reserves. But, where was he? A feminine voice cut through the morning stillness, carrying clearly to him in the alley.

"Come on! Why do you insist on staying on the roof?" Were those the tones of the angelic Akane?

"If somethin' happens I don't want ta bust up her house! Okay?"

…And Ranma. How convenient. He _thought _he knew this alley. It was near the Saotome's. He'd just nip in and check things out. He'd heard some hot-looking babes were staying here now, and _they_ weren't Ranma's fiancées. Had Genma talked Nodoka into a harem? Wouldn't that be interesting! He glided in while Ranma and Akane argued on roof and in garden, respectively. No one home, but there should be a bucket over… Ahhh! Fill it about half-full of cold water, sneak along the side of the house… He was only a few meters from the one corner.

"Dammit, tomboy! Look at the way things have gone! If I hide in the house, trouble's only gonna find me there, anyway! Why risk breaking things when it's only just been fixed up a few months ago?"

"What could possibly…"

"_Swee-to_!" (Sploosh!) Grope, grope…grope? What the hell?

Happosai opened his eyes, which he had shut just before impact with Ranma's girl-type bosom. He could have sworn he could almost feel the weave of the fabric over those two gorgeous globes of delight, yet… He looked around. Ummm… Nice view of Tokyo... Good loft… Ranma was getting too fast. It wasn't fair! Besides he still hadn't gotten that charge he wanted! Ranma was going too far!

Ranma needed a lesson.

But first, he hunted around, wincing and pulled on his flying squirrel suit. He noticed then that he had four parallel slashes through his clothes from shoulder to just above his groin. Those slashes were matched by four parallel gashes in his hide freely bleeding and two of them damn deep! He'd need a real charge to overcome this. Ranma had gone wa-a-a-ay over the bounds of master/student, this time! He oriented again and noticed a particular building. Ahhh! He swerved. He'd been unable to find this place recently, which was just too bad. What a convenient time to relocate it! First a nice recharge! Then Ranma would pay! He quickly located the vent from the bath and grinned to see the hot steam rising in the cool morning air. Lovely! He angled for the window, zipped in and…

"_Swee-to_!"

"_Aaugh_!" Urd's morning had been going so well, too!

* * *

"What's the occasion?" asked Ukyo as she came in, followed by Nabiki. She indicated Akane's chosen style of dress as they passed the startled girl in the doorway.

"It… felt right," Akane answered. "Why did you guys come over?" Ukyo lifted several boxes and dangled them. The rich smell of hot okonomiyaki tickled Akane's nose. Akane glowered. "I've been getting better!" she growled. "I could have cooked lunch."

"Of course you have," countered her sister. "And I can't tell you how nice it is not to have to hide when you're using the kitchen. But let's make Barry's final moments in our world memorable, rather than merely endurable and spare Auntie the mess you usually leave, even when you are cooking well."

"Hey! You'll get there, honey," Ukyo reassured her, as Akane sputtered. "You started out way in the minuses cooking-wise. You worked your way past zero and are into the pluses now. Well, mostly anyway!"

"Ranma will be positively shocked when he gets home, Akane," her sister added cheerfully.

Akane gave up and stomped back to Nodoka's kitchen. Once there, Barry's outraged tones were heard. "Hey! _Hey! _What are you _doing_? Don't you dare use that cleaver to cut the carrots! That's Mom's best cutting board! Don't you start!"

"_Mom's?_" Nabiki asked turning to Ukyo.

"Habit," the other answered simply. "Nodoka doesn't seem to mind."

"I can see your face! You'll never cook well in this mood! Go spar with Ucchan or somethin'! Work on her mid-level _ki _techniques or her shield. Anything but _this_, right now!"

Akane banged out of the kitchen and dragged the chef out the door and into the garden. At this point Ukyo had her Okonomiyaki Sogu, and a version of the ki-ribbons she called Yakasoba Yori, but she had no middle range technique to use as a softener. The Sogu technique was not only deadly, it was draining. Ukyo was lucky to be coherent for minutes after letting one loose.

"Ummm… Akane, I have to get back to Ucchan's, ya know! Lunch rush?" Akane glared at her sweat-dropping friend. "What's got your shorts in a bind?" Ukyo added sagging at her look.

"Happosai."

"Oh, boy!" Ukyo was quiet for a while, digesting this and earlier news. "Let me guess. You're debating whether to bury the little troll out in the garden under the tulips or to see if the police will show up and offer you two a reward?"

"_No_!" Akane exclaimed. "Barry sent him over the horizon." She huffed. "I've _never _seen Barry move _that_ fast. Happosai threw water on him and tried to grope him." She made a sound halfway between a growl and a sigh. "The only good thing was that it seemed to calm Barry a bit, and I convinced him to come inside."

"How badly did he hurt Happosai?"

"I don't know. But he didn't kill him. I'm sure of that!"

"That's too bad," Ukyo grumbled. "And the lines?"

"A few kinks and crimps - nothing much."

* * *

Cologne and Shampoo came promptly at 1:00. 

"Hmmm." Cologne listened to Barry and Akane and considered what this might mean for Ranma. "I had suspected that the ki training was what had actually caused the problem myself, but this certainly fits the circumstances hypothesized." She prodded Barry's center carefully.

"Aren't you worried I'll try to hit you?" Barry asked.

"Sonny, if I can't dodge a few attacks before I get out of your range…" She poked at him some more. "Besides, I doubt you'd actually pursue me."

"You didn't see what he did to Happosai this morning," commented Akane.

"Kill him?" Cologne asked, looking up.

"No."

"Too bad." She returned to her examination. "Still, I suppose erasing that little scum-puppy would cause you more harm than good."

Soun ventured in a little while later to check on Akane and Nabiki. He glanced nervously at Barry then went to find Genma. "Tendo. What brings you here?"

"Just checking on my girls. I see the old ghoul is here. Are they going to try again, Saotome?"

"Not sure. I did see a little action, earlier," Genma said softly.

"So what happened?"

"The master tried to jump _him_." He shuddered.

Soun looked around. "Is Barry-san out of control, then?"

Genma pushed his glasses up and leaned forward. "_Don't_ threaten him!"

"Where did you hide the body?" whispered Soun.

"The boy sent him toward the north Tokyo suburbs. He nailed him pretty good." Genma shifted and brought the sleeve of his gi under Soun's eyes. Blood spattered the sleeve. "And that was from 10 meters away!"

"Free at last!" Soun exulted quietly.

"Let's not celebrate too soon, old friend," Genma warned him, "Let's wait for the evening news."

"Why the hell are those two so intent on the news?" Barry asked. Soun and Genma usually watched sports if they weren't in one of their endless Shogi or Go matches. "That's the Tokyo Stock exchange, fer kami's sake! It's not even live! It's a rebroadcast!"

"Shut up, Barry-baka," said Nabiki, watching over their shoulders. "You have no idea how hard it is to get updates with these two around." She turned back, making notes. She snapped her notebook closed and stood up. "Akane, I'm going to have to head for the station now. I have a test Monday I can't afford to miss." She came and gave her sister a hug, then turned to Barry. She stopped and looked at the cassette he held in his hands. "What's this?"

"I taped last night's proceedings. Just thought you might like a laugh or two," he mumbled, embarrassed.

She took it, blinked and looked at him and let a rare, honest smile light her face. "That was sweet of you, Barry," she said. She looked at her father and his friend and grinned wickedly. "How thoughtful. If they ever get out of line, I may play this for them." Across the room, two little pots with big ears sweated nervously.

"That was sorta the idea," he said, rubbing the back of his head. "If I don't see you again, be well, Nabiki Tendo."

"Akane," Cologne interrupted after Nabiki left, "he seems to have aquired a few new knots from the latest control attempts. We won't need to raise wards for this. Why don't you simply un-kink them and see if anything else has changed."

"Huh?" Akane muttered. "I would have sworn I got them, earlier."

Barry reclined on the table and Akane knelt at one side, hands slightly above his body. Shampoo quickly knelt on the other side and matched her, watching what she did closely on the ki-level. Barry flinched a few times but soon Akane sat back on her heels and simply looked.

"Seem like same!" Shampoo said.

"No. Something _is_ different." Akane reached out again and touched the lines as they zoomed off into elsewhere. "Are they… tighter? Under more tension than before?" As she watched the lines shifted in a peculiar way, one thread crimping across the other. She quickly smoothed it out.

"String no get tighter if more string…Oh!" Shampoo thought for a moment. "Can only carry string analogy so far. Something make astral lines tighter even though they in less contact?"

"Perhaps the amount of contact made them more comfortable in the bodies they were in?" suggested Cologne. "Stress is a great motivator. It is possible that, since conract is minimized, they are now uncomfortable. it's only a matter of time."

"That's great!" exclaimed Barry. 'Gwen!' he thought, 'Brendan…'

"Perhaps." Cologne frowned and pursed her lips. "The shock of transition may still be enough to kill either of you. There are no guarantees, Barry. Not in something like this."

* * *

Ranma squirmed like a worm on a fishhook. Kamisama! Barry's _birthday_? There was no way he was gonna get out of _this_ one without telling all. The trouble was, his controls were shut down! Gwen's presence and actions had turned him into a passenger. Her hands were gliding over him, stroking him, making his skin feel like it was on fire. His hands were reciprocating, touching, tickling almost… rubbing… and he couldn't stop it! He literally just _couldn't_ stop! It was like being in his body back before he and Barry had worked out controls and Barry learned to resist locking him out. 

"Ohhh… Barry, yes-s-s!"

His mind began to glaze over. He wasn't doing this! He wasn't! He couldn't believe that he was amused when Barry had tried to duck out of the kiss he had almost given Akane. Now _his_ lips nibbled down a neck arched for his inspection, past the collarbone toward… Couldn't the powers that be have the _decency_ to let him pass out? Feminine fingers stroked places he'd avoided touching on himself, in _either_ form! He had taken secret pride in being able to control his reactions around women who were out to bed him, but he hadn't considered that his inexperience had worked in his favor. As much as he had tried to ignore it, Barry's body was quite experienced and it was responding, dammit, with a great deal of enthusiasm! His whine of frustration quickly became a gasp of something else, as more fire seemed to sweep across his consciousness.

He tried to distract himself with the theories he had developed for return. Rubber bands… tension… slowly un-tangling the strands where one strip of elastic pinned another in place, but twisting them to increase tension and the chance to return. The overall contact was reduced, but the resistance to return was greatly increased. What? The lines were twisted? Oh, crap! How would he deal… Whoa! What was that woman doing _now_?

* * *

"So the idea, here, is to avoid conflict and the possibility of getting tangled again, then let the tension build. Eventually, if we don't bind the lines up more, we should snap back to our own bodies, and that will be that?" Barry looked astonished at the little crone. "Isn't that _too _simple?" 

"The best plans usually are, boy," Cologne cackled. "Less chance of idiot underlings misunderstanding what has to be done."

"Excuse me? I'm the only underling here, thank you!" Barry grumbled.

"That's my point, exactly."

"Old bat!" (WACK!) "Ow!"

The phone rang. Genma looked at Akane and Shampoo, who made no move to answer it then did it himself.

"Moshi…! Hello, Kasumi, dear," Genma smiled. "I'll ask." He turned away. "Kasumi wishes to know if Barry is safe enough for dinner at the Tendo's?" Soun jumped and looked nervous, his head shaking back and forth.

"Da-a-ad!" Akane drawled, displeased.

"Perhaps they could all come over and we could eat here, Saotome," Soun suggested. Genma paled and froze as Kasumi said something.

"The Ryu Kumon boy is with them, too," Genma exclaimed. He turned back to Soun. "Do you mean to tell me, Tendo, that you can't show a little hospitality to our poor wanderer?"

"I like my house just the way it is, Saotome. It's been bad enough housing you two these past two years without bringing this trouble in!"

"_Da-a-ad_!" Akane's eyes were wide with anger now.

"Just what are you trying to say, Tendo?" Genma was scowling now.

They flinched as battle-auras suddenly sprang up, casting the room into shades of blue and red.

"Stop the argument right there!" Barry growled, as flame seemed to rise from his shoulders and head.

"Enough is enough!" Akane snapped. Blue light flickered in her eyes as she drew her gaze back and forth between the men. "_I'm_ making the decision on whether Barry can come to dinner, and he's invited!" She glared at her father in particular. "Afterwards, we'll come back here and I'll monitor him to make certain everything remains all right and will take on anyone stupid enough to try to challenge him."

"But…" Barry frowned. Ranma didn't refuse challenges.

"Shut up!" she said turning on him. "A dojo may present a student champion if they don't feel a challenge is worthy of its master." She raised an eyebrow. "If they can get past me, well… then _you_ can go all out."

Barry had to restrain himself to keep from sticking his foot in it. Akane had a point, after all. Akane was competent enough that she could now handle Ranma's body going nearly all out. After Ranma, she was probably the most competent martial artist he knew. He suddenly began to laugh.

"Are you laughing at me?" Akane growled as the others cleared out of the line of fire and Soun began to sniff and whimper at the damage to come.

"No! At me. Do you have any idea how close I came to jumping in with both feet because I didn't want to see you hurt? And we don't even have an opponent, yet!"

"What is it with you and Ranma that you can't believe I can take care of myself?" she complained.

"Any male, Akane," Barry finished chuckling. "If Gos were here and heard you about to put yourself in harm's way, he'd try to stop it"

The image of poor Hikaru slinking into place to defend her was too much. She laughed, much to Soun and Genma's relief.

* * *

They continued to wrangle after they left the Saotome's and walked over to the Tendo's, where Barry excused himself and disappeared for a while. He had to update his journal. 

"I don't know, Saotome," grumbled Soun. "I'm certain your son will return, but, I don't like what's going on among the children." He pointed to where Ukyo and Shampoo crowded almost protectively about Akane then jerked his finger toward the dojo, which was where they had last seen Barry. "This Barry may be an honorable sort for an American, but I don't understand why my daughter is suddenly best friends with her rivals. I mean, Ukyo, I understand a little, but Shampoo?"

"It's partly the result of admiration between fine warriors," Cologne interjected. She had, as she often did, come upon them unawares. "And partly it's due to the fact that with Ranma gone, there's no bone of contention between them." She sighed. "No telling what will happen when he's back, but expect Akane and Shampoo in particular to start having a series of very nasty contests over him."

Soun stared at her. "Why are you telling me this?" he finally got out.

"Because you are Akane's only parent. Even though you are male, it is your responsibility to know." Cologne watched the three girls whisper and comment over something in a magazine they read in common. "Shampoo and Akane have done something unusual. Though rivals, they have declared a bond between themselves."

"By the gods! My daughter is a les—! (THWACK!) Owww!" Soun winced and held his aching head.

"This is a special kind of friendship that is based on respect, admiration and a feeling of kinship, you _male_!" Cologne growled. "Moron! _Women_ do not think with their hormones. We leave that to you men, which is why the world is like it is. Now listen!" She controlled herself. "Shampoo has declared Akane her 'Sister of Heart'. Shampoo's lineage often has twins like her sisters. Shampoo's twin did not survive childbirth, and it is _sometimes_ the case that such a twin will find another person to act as a surrogate for her sense of loss."

She face faulted as Genma and Soun began to dance excitedly about one another. With a look of disgust she booted them outdoors and called in to the kitchen, "Nodoka-san! Could you come out here please?"

Once she had the fathers safely outside she repeated herself for Nodoka's sake, then continued. "Shampoo considers Akane her sister, but Joketsuzoku law does not permit Akane to become an Amazon with the contention of Ranma between them. She is still an obstacle to be removed. Akane recognizes Shampoo's need to pursue, but cannot release Ranma because she feels she and Ranma honestly love each other. Also, as a warrior challenged, she cannot refuse this fight." Cologne scowled. "From Shampoo's side, the fight must be to the death, or until Akane gives up her claim to Ranma. If I understand it correctly, Akane plans to train and defend. Simply that."

"I'm not certain I understand," Nodoka said slowly. "You sound as if you wish us to take steps to separate them."

"As a Matriarch of the Council of Elders, I can make no such suggestion," Cologne answered primly. "As Shampoo's great-grandmother…" She sighed, looking very old. "In a combat at the level to which this must go, both may die. They cannot in honor, hold back anything except the deathblow and Shampoo cannot refuse to deliver that without betraying everything she is. For Akane to maintain her recent advantage in skill is possible, but if the gap narrows, death could come to either by simple bad luck."

"We…could make a complaint to the government," suggested Genma. "If you Amazons were deported…"

"Genma!" snapped Nodoka. He cringed. "Akane is a martial artist. I would imagine that if we took such a step, she might follow Shampoo to China simply to continue what they've already decided was their course of action." She shifted her weight slightly, tucking the material of her kimono across her legs more securely. "For Akane at least, it is better the fighting proceed here where Ranma can help with her training and Akane will have her family to support her if she is hurt." Soun began to blubber silently.

"How often will they fight? Under what guidelines?" Genma asked, eyeing his wife in case she took exception to his query.

Cologne nodded. "No limits, at least twice per month. Shampoo has demanded formal challenge. Don't be surprised if you get visitors in from Nicheiru to watch."

"Has anything like this ever happened before," inquired Nodoka.

It had to have happened at least once before, or they wouldn't have rules for it," observed Genma, shrewdly.

"I've heard of similar combats," came a new voice. Barry dropped off the roof to land beside them. "The most famous I recall is the battle between Feridad and Cuchulain in Ireland. They had been friends and trained together in their youth but forced by honor to fight one another over what was, at the core of it, a dispute over the ownership of a prize bull." He stared at them. "Are you sure it's really worth it?"

They looked at him grimly, sadly, or in Soun's case, hysterically. Barry swept with ki-vision back through the house to see the girls leaning into one another, laughing and pointing to something in their magazine as he had often seen normal girls do in his own world and place. Yet now he knew what was behind the recent affection and half discussed relationships. He turned to Cologne.

"Are you worried Shampoo may deliberately let her guard down to make Akane kill her?"

"That would be terribly dishonorable."

"It would be terribly hard to prove!" he snapped. "Not the way they can fight now!"

"As a Matriarch and as an Elder of the Ama Clan, I must stress that such an abuse, if discovered would be grounds for banishment or death." Cologne's eyes were nearly closed and she stood there like a little statue, spouting rules and regulations.

"You're hoping for a miracle!" he accused.

"Yes!" She opened her eyes and looked at him. "I wish I could tell you what was needed, but I am bound there, as well. With all my heart, I pray for a miracle, because with the path they have chosen, there is nothing else left."

Barry saw the dark sadness in her eyes, dropped to one knee and hugged the old woman, feeling briefly the awful weight of her burden to tribe and family. He felt her tension relax and a soft chuckle find its way out of her worry. "Sorry if I broke any rules, Granny," he said, drawing away. Genma and Soun eyed him as if he'd done something really frightening. Nodoka smiled faintly. "I figured ya didn't have many chances for a good hug, so I didn't ask in case ya might say no."

"Scamp!" she exclaimed. "First time I've had a hunk squeeze me in decades!" she cackled suddenly. "Wonder what Ranma will think if he remembers this?"

Dinner was eaten in peace, and praise was offered to Kasumi's cooking. The three fiancées offered to clean up, leaving Barry to amuse people with stories of his home and a series of portraits and caricatures. He also drew cartoons of Ranma dealing with some of his adversaries. He included a sly one of Ranma facing off against Ryu with Natsume and Kurumi sneakily loading Ranma down with leg-irons, ropes and weights from behind as he did so. He did another he titled 'Ryoga herding Sumo pigs' with Ryoga as P-chan balancing precariously on Katsunishiki's nose. Ryoga's namesake, P-chan II was curled up in Kasumi's lap getting scritched behind the ears.

"Where is Ryoga anyway?" Barry asked.

"Akari had to go back to the farm again," Akane told him, shrugging slightly. She was intent on watching the action of the paired Astral strands. Frowning she flicked at them making him shudder.

"Damn! Her grandfather must be getting awfully pushy," Barry commented. "I guess its wedding bells or freedom for the lost-boy soon."

"Freedom?" asked Ukyo from the kitchen doorway.

"Well, if he takes too long asking, or objects to the match, old grandpa Unryu could throw him off the farm," Barry proposed. "Unlikely, though. Not many people can simply beat a monster like Katsunishiki." Ukyo nodded and started to come to the table. Behind her, Shampoo and Akane were whispering and Akane reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Let's leave them relax," she said. "I had an idea for a ki-move for Shampoo I want your opinion on."

* * *

Shampoo huffed. She had worked up to Akane's version of the Mouko Takabisha and could do the ki-radio. Ribbon of Light was so easy almost anyone could do it. But she longed for something that could be her own. Her ki-shields were only partial as yet, too permeable to be useful. The Amazon had taken to playing with various techniques, searching for her path.

"Okay, Akane! What you want Shampoo to do?" She smiled at her 'sister'. It was easy to love Akane once the competition for Ranma was put on hold. When Akane stopped punting Ranma over the horizon every time Shampoo hugged him, and Shampoo stopped acting like a cat in heat, they had gained time to see each other with understanding. She let the other girl putter around, positioning her body for the technique.

"Okay! Do that thing you did the other day! When you were trying to make a sort of ki-staff?" Obediently Shampoo manifested her ki, sending out a wand of energy above and below her extended left arm. About a meter and a half in total length, energy gathered at the ends, sizzling softly in the quiet. "Now make sure the energy at both ends is the same. Let the yang side of it gather in your other hand."

After a moment, Shampoo managed this trick, scowling with concentration. Letting her other hand hold the yang made the balance easy, but created other problems as the ends tipped over toward the ball of opposite energy in her right hand, which Akane had positioned at her ear. Gossamer streamers began to reach from the tips to the ball and from the ball to the tips.

"All right!" Akane clapped her hands. "I knew you could do that!"

"Can… Akane tell Shampoo… what good this do?" she asked, struggling with the unfamiliar and complex action. It was not normal or natural to call up ki this way.

"Now think about resisting the pull of yin to yang. Make them stronger, but don't let them resolve and cancel each other out."

Despite her attempts, streamers continued to swirl from the tips of her energy staff. "I hope Akane know where this going!" Shampoo groaned. "Is not easy!"

"Now listen carefully," Akane demanded. "You're going to keep the energy in your right hand condensed like a Mouko Takabisha. You won't push it away... yet. You'll let the ki ball move freely toward the chakra of your other hand. The chakra is neutral so it won't negate or stop the ki-ball. As it passes by, you'll change the yin to yang like in Barry's ping-pong practice. That should launch your technique on its way." Akane was pleased with herself.

"What kind of silly thing this? Look like bow! Bow only use for hunting small game!" Shampoo grumbled almost releasing what she had accomplished. "It not even as strong as Mouko Takabisha! Cannot make energy big enough to do more than pinch in pants!"

"Will you try it?" grumbled Akane.

"Akane just doing this because Kyudo master at contest say Akane good with bow, yes?" Shampoo was disappointed. Akane had made the buildup so great, too!

"Will. You. Please. Just. _Try it_!" Akane bellowed.

"Okay, okay! Ancestors! Look like stupid bow! Maybe Valentine Day make Shampoo look like cupid for Airen and Akane, yes?" She concentrated, intent on doing her best despite the disappointing appearances. With a smirk she turned and looked at Akane, going up on one toe and kicking the other leg back and up, posing as she released the 'arrow'.

(BAM!) The entire dojo shook as a hole appeared cleanly in the wall. It left smoking edges as testimony to the passage of considerable energy. Shampoo staggered and sat down from the recoil.

"Eeep!" Shampoo uttered a shocked sound as Akane and Ukyo stared with her at the hole in the wall. Staggering to her feet, she ran with them outside and around the _dojo_.

"What was that noise, Akane?" demanded her father from the house.

"We're just sparring, Dad! Be right back!" Akane yelled back.

They found the hole, found another hole slightly lower in the perimeter wall, as neat and clean as the first, and ran out of the compound into the street. The _ki_-bolt had notched a tree and finally entered the ground forty meters further on, producing a crater a meter across.

"My! That was a silly technique, wasn't it, sugar?" breathed Ukyo. "I wonder how that compares to my 'Yaki Sogu!"

"How long it take Akane to master this?" Shampoo asked, wide eyed.

"Uh, I can't do it yet," Akane muttered.

"What?" How you show Shampoo how do, if Akane can't do?"

"Hey, I just thought it up! Gimme a break! I can't multitask like you do yet, and you need to balance the ki and condense the one, while dispersing the other and shift the signs just right… I tried but can't get past 'nocking the arrow'. When I try to shoot it, it can go anywhere!" Akane said shamefaced. "You didn't see the new patch in the ceiling of the dojo, did you?"

"Akane," Shampoo looked like she couldn't decide whether to hug or kill her friend, "what can stop this?"

"I don't know," Akane admitted. "I haven't tried to…"

"_Akane!" _ Shampoo was obviously distressed. "You try to hand head on platter? Why give Shampoo weapon she can _kill_ you with?"

"We don't know it can't be stopped!" snapped Akane. She had not thought of the contest so soon to come between them. "And it's not like it doesn't take some time to set up."

"Empty lot there! We see _now_!" Shampoo ordered and marched off to the level field. Soon lightning was flickering over the clear skies of Nerima.

* * *

In a park not far away, a strong, dour looking young man sat in contemplation of a miserable life. His clothes were tattered and much repaired. The only quality item he wore was a vest of a purple scaly material and matching bracers. Around his waist was wrapped a long skein of flesh colored silk. As sparks and streamers of energy flickered overhead he frowned and turned his thoughts outward. Picking up a gleeming staff of odd design, he leaped lightly to a nearby roof and sped off to investigate.

* * *

"Okay," gasped Akane, panting, "we now know your ki-arrows can't penetrate a good ki-shield." 

"Yes. But ki-arrows do twice the damage of Mouko Takabisha with less effort. Very powerful technique! Shampoo think maybe more versatile than we know yet. Maybe like kyudo concept — can guide arrow with mind, even after it is fired. Shoot around corners… Maybe use for long-range bomb technique. Akane in big trouble if not think of ways to counter," Shampoo warned.

"I really wish I knew where all this was going," complained Ukyo. "No matter what you two do, Ranchan's gonna get hurt big time!"

"It's no worse than what he and Ryoga used to do," Akane temporized

"Of course it is, Akane! You used to think Ranma started the fights and that they weren't really serious. What would you have thought if you had known Rychan was deadly serious about putting Ranchan in a cemetery?"

"There she go again," commented Shampoo. "Rychan!" she gushed. "If you like pig-boy so much, why not go after him?"

"But he's Akari's!" Ukyo looked scandalized.

"What difference is there between Shampoo 'kiss of marriage' and Akari 'you beat my pig, so _you mine'_?" the Amazon countered. "Really same thing."

"But I wasn't affianced to Ryoga before Akari made her claim."

"You two make much talk of choice of man and woman, then sit back and whine, 'I no can do! Is not right! Is not honor!' Feh!" Shampoo spat to one side. "You act like your honor one thing and my honor different. Your honor selfish. My honor to tribe and people, where it belong."

"_Excuse_ me?" Akane broke in. "We have honor to our country and people as well, thank you!"

"Sorry, Akane," Shampoo said almost mournfully. "Shampoo just worried. Ranma back soon…"

"We hope," Ukyo muttered, making a good luck gesture.

"We hope!" agreed Akane. "And Barry's going home to Gwen and Brendan."

"You sound almost sad," Ukyo said quietly.

Akane grimaced. "It's… I'm afraid that Ranma will have… Oh, damn!" Akane growled.

"You think Ranma fool around with Barry's wife on sly." Shampoo said matter-of-factly. "Is what any man do in this situation?" Akane nodded. "Ranma not _any_ man," Shampoo continued. "Even Barry say so, and he live in Ranma's head over month." She smirked. "Besides… Is Barry's wife, is Barry's body. What matter if Ranma do…"

"Will you shut up!" Akane brought her hands over her ears, blushing badly.

"Yeah!" grumbled Ukyo. "I thought you Amazon's were concerned about who was who around White Mountain." She glanced aside at Shampoo. "Of course it wouldn't matter if Mousse were beginning to fall for one of your sisters back at…"

"Grrrrrrr…" (Pop!)

Ukyo jerked a little at Shampoo's reaction to her harmless suggestion. "Hey! It's not like you like him or anything. Do you?" A soft sob answered her.

"Shampoo… must follow law of people. Must do… even if not what Shampoo…" she clenched her lips tight. "Duck-boy must find new life. I can never be his."

Ukyo, who had been walking on the other side of Akane, came around so that she and Akane now bracketed Shampoo. Their arms went around the Amazon as they walked up the street, comforting her.

"Remember the onsen race?" Ukyo reminded them of the first time they had all been chasing Ranma together.

* * *

The young man in the purple vest peered from his vantage point at the trio of friendly girls and frowned perplexed. He had never had the luxury of watching TV, but he would have recognized the concept of the old show, 'The Twilight Zone' immediately. That was what it felt like lately in Nerima. 

He had managed a sort of running discussion with Happosai near Chiba last time he was around demanding a name change. With his new techniques, he had actually, finally, managed to corner the little bastard. His arms had still been raw from where Ranma had clawed him up using the Nekoken. His back and head were bruised from where Ranma's over-muscled fiancée had pounded him into the pavement. He could have beaten her, of course. After all, he had been Pantyhose Taro then. Now, the young man flexed his hands and glowered. Happosai had agreed to change his name... _if_… Taro had been eager, anticipating this final release from his years of agony and shame and had eagerly fulfilled the quest Happosai had required as a precondition.

"_Arrgh!" _The young man once known as Pantyhose Taro, buried his head under his hands and wept with shame. He would kill that freak of nature! Kill him! Even if it meant going around as… He shivered in rage.

His fateful meeting with Happosai had been just hours ago.

"Good morning, Pantyhose!" the freak said, kicking Taro awake.

"Arrgh…Don't call me that!" He rolled to his feet gripping the object of his search and looked around for Happosai. The little gnome was nowhere to be seen. "Oh, godfather! You really ought to see what I picked up in China for you," he cajoled. He scanned the surrounding area. Camping in the park, back from the pathways was usually peaceful. Only gardeners ever bothered you, and them usually not for long. (Ryoga had also found this to be true.)

"So you have." Happosai's voice seemed to come from the left. Taro held out the staff, nearly two meters high and gleaming. "Pretty thing," Happi commented. Wait, did his voice come from the right now? "Are you sure it's what I asked for?"

"It is, old man," Taro said confidently.

"Then just lay it down, boy and I'll come get it."

"My name first," Taro demanded.

"Afterwards…" Happosai's voice shifted position again.

"Now," Taro insisted.

"Later…"

"Now…" This went on for some time.

"Very well then," the old man's voice was angry. "From now on, you shall be known as…"

"Awesome Taro?"

"…Lacy Darlings! Now, give me the staff." 'Lacy's' eyes bugged and his jaw dropped in shock.

A bush moved and he pivoted flame billowing like a lethal fog. It doesn't take much practice to aim a flame-thrower, and the object he held acted very much like one.

"That sparrow will be a bit overdone, don't you think?" came Happosai's voice from behind him. 'Lacy Darling' pivoted and fired again.

"Tch, tch, tch!" Happosai's voice now seemed to come from his weapon. "Haven't you ever heard of ventriloquism, Lacy, m'boy?" cackled the voice. "Of course this isn't classical ventriloquism, but who cares about the classics anymore?"

"You perverted little freak! Come out and get fried!" screamed 'Lacy'.

"Feh! You aren't worth my time." The brand new Lacy Darlings trembled with rage. "I'm much too busy these days to waste my time with amateurs. You might have noticed how much better some of the local martial artists are doing… especially the girls."

Lacy growled.

"I'll take that as an affirmative. I was so happy when they finally saw things my way. I felt I should reward them. Especially, Ranma." Happosai made a lip-smacking sound. "Amazing what some people will do when they're desperate for new techniques."

"I can't believe _even _fem-boy—!"

"Who _cares_ what you believe!" Happosai rattled on. "You are increasingly irrelevant, Lacy. Don't bother me unless you can prove you can beat my best students. Good luck finding me till you do."

Suddenly, Lacy Darlings was aware of a form retreating through the bushes toward the pathway. There were too many trees for a clear shot, so he pursued, angry, lusting for blood and pain. He leaped! The body he bore to the path's surface was taller and more muscular than Happosai's. He could tell that immediately. The hair on the head was another clue that he had made a mistake.

"Hey! Get _off_ me! _Now_!"

Lacy rolled and sprang to his feet. Before him a disgruntled Jiro Hadoka rolled competently to his feet and dusted himself off.

"You aren't Happosai," Lacy accused.

"Well whoop-de-do!" snapped Jiro. "You noticed! Wadja run me over for?"

"I was chasing Happosai," Lacy snarled. "Damn! He got away!"

"What's yer name, anyway?" Jiro asked.

Lacy froze, white-faced. He swallowed convulsively. "You _don't_ want to know. Trust me!" he growled, after regaining some control. He began to stalk away.

"Where do you think you're going?" Jiro called after him.

The former pantyhose Taro stopped. After a moment, he turned around. "I'm going to go beat the tar out of Ranma Saotome," he replied almost pleasantly.

With a burst of speed, he vanished, leaving Jiro frowning on the path. Assured the other had left, Jiro began to smile wickedly. He turned and walked away, kicking the empty can of cold soda he guzzled just moments ago.

* * *

Barry walked back to the Saotome's accompanied by Akane and Ranma's parents and sisters. He had grown more confident as the evening wore on and Ranma's body remained relaxed around the people central to Ranma's life. It was good to know that his former lack of control had merely been a lack of trust. So long as any ridiculously powerful challengers didn't drop by, they should be able to wait out the remainder of the time till Ranma returned.

If some ridiculously powerful challenger _did _show up, Akane was ready for them, up to and including the Nekoken. It would take quite a challenger to defeat her, one that even Barry, going all out with zero controls and trying to do damage might have trouble with. This made him both nervous and reassured — nervous, because this kind of thing often happened in Ranma's life. Reassured in that Ranma's life with Barry at the helm hadn't been quite that bad… just nearly.

Barry's biggest worry, though, was that after three months, Ranma would feel adrift. The martial artist had left as the undisputed best surrounded by friends and opponents of a particular caliber and style. Because of his meddling, while Ranma should still be the best, the margins were much closer, styles had blurred, some of the relationships had changed and most of the principles were more dangerous by several degrees of power.

There was also the possibility that Ranma might not be able to access the ki techniques Barry developed in his absence, or would have to do so in slightly different ways. Akane would make sure Ranma found his journal, which had everything including the ki-move Akane had taught Shampoo. Barry had included a special note concerning what he had learned about Shampoo and Akane's upcoming duels and their new relationships with each other.

The Saotome household slowly came into view. Ranma had never felt this to be home somehow. Natsume and Kurumi however gazed at it longingly. Since Genma's acknowledgment of the pair, they had been making up for lost time. Kurumi was chattering away as usual as they walked up the street, talking about everything she could think of to Akane.

Natsume was obviously depressed. Ryu was teaching at a dojo south of Tokyo, and had stopped to say good-bye. They had exchanged phone numbers and promised to meet at least once a month. They obviously had it bad. Fortunately, they only had Nodoka to deal with, and while she was concerned about Ryu's ability to support a wife, she was not opposed to the match otherwise. After Ryu left, she began talking about holding an omiai for the pair, much to Natsume's embarrassment.

There was suddenly an odd sense of draining, of drawing in. He saw Akane, out of the corner of his eye start and look around. She had felt it, too.

A fireball rolled across the street like a wave. Barry and Akane just had time to raise shields and protect themselves and the Saotomes. Akane noted in passing that the huge slow-moving fireball was not hot enough to do more than singe them had they been taken unawares. She frowned as Barry stepped slightly in front of them all. Hadn't he agreed to let her take on this sort of thing?

"Where's Happosai, fem-boy?" Taro stood about ten meters away, his right shoulder turned back. While it was obvious that he was holding something long and slender, like a staff, it was not obvious just what this was. His pose was arrogant and negligent as ever.

"How the hell should I know?" Barry growled. "And why the hell should I tell you a damn thing after a 'hello' like that one?"

"Because that was just a warning shot." Taro grinned nastily. "I can do lots better. So unless you want to be crispy-fried transvestite, I suggest you tell me where Happosai is."

Barry started toward him, but Akane grabbed him by the arm. She felt the tremble under her hand and hoped that didn't mean he had thrown a restraint back on his controls. "You promised," she reminded him.

"We weren't talking about Taro," he growled.

She almost threw a punch, but refrained when she felt the bunch and shift of muscles under her hand. With the added tension of Taro, it really wasn't safe to hit him. "We were talking about _anyone_! Don't you want to—!"

Taro quickly lost patience with being ignored. He brought the object, a staff almost two and a half meters long from behind him. It seemed to be made of metal, and had a hollow disc of metal at one end and a crescent-shaped blade at the other. He pointed the disc-shaped end. "Pay attention, dammit," he shouted. The staff suddenly glowed and a ball of energy ten meters across was launched at the Saotome residence.

(ka-_FOOOOOM_!) Ignition was abrupt and practically total.

"My house!" Nodoka exclaimed, appalled.

Barry barely took notice. He reached out and grabbed Akane painfully by the arm and pointed, forcing her to focus. "Get them out of here, Akane! For my sake and Ranma's. Taro's got _Kinjakan_!"


	57. Sound and Fury

**Guest Ki: Chapter 56**

_**Sound and Fury**_

"You blew up my house!" shouted Nodoka. She crossed the space to Taro and swung the sheathed katana at the young man. He easily blocked and, having no reservations about striking an aggressive female, knocked her down.

The monster-man sneered at her. "Don't be ridi—! (BAM!)" Barry's counterstrike undiminished by limits, sent Taro through a wall and into the side of a parked car.

"Move it, tomboy!" Barry snarled. "Get them someplace safe. Do the same for your family. Taro might be after them next." Akane, about to retort, froze, mouth open. "Get hold of Cologne! Taro might as well be Godzilla with that thing in his hands."

It really honked her off that he was right.

"Let's go, people!" she snapped, gathering up Nodoka, only slightly bruised from Taro's blow. "The sooner we get you and my family to someplace safe, the sooner I can help him!" She cut off Natsume and Kurumi as quickly as they opened their mouths. "No! Stay out of it! He's as good as Ranma and has the weapon of a kami! Move it!"

Taro shook himself as he peeled his body out of the depression in the car. Saotome had gotten faster. That was okay, so had he. Ranma wasn't going to catch him by surprise again.

Barry set himself, instead of following up on his blow to Taro. He'd have to be careful. Kinjakan was modified somehow. It didn't really surprise him that it could throw fireballs, and if anyone besides Ranma could figure out how to use it, it would be Taro. If the battle got going in these houses, the whole neighborhood would be in flames in seconds. They didn't need another Jusendo, here.

His alertness went up as Taro lightly vaulted the wall and walked toward him as if nothing had happened. To one side, the Saotome residence crackled almost cheerfully as smoke billowed into the air. He could hear voices in the night, excited shouts that indicated the growing awareness of something wrong. Faintly he heard the sirens wailing as the fire was reported and emergency crews were alerted.

Taro opened his mouth, probably to demand where Happosai was again.

"I don't know, I said," Barry interrupted him. "You made a serious mistake, cow-shit for brains!" he continued, "That was my mother's house and, on top of that, you _hit _her, you bastard!" Barry focused on Taro with ki-vision as well as sight. Even had it been broad daylight, instead of nearly dusk, it would have been a tactically sound thing to do.

The staff was very strange to look at on the ki-level. It was actually quite pretty, appearing more ornamental than the dangerous weapon it was. But to ki-sight, it was a huge sucking orifice, drawing energy from everything for a hundred meters. Barry could even feel it sucking at his aura and made adjustments to avoid the field. In a sense, it was an infinitely more powerful and subtle form of Hinako's ki-vampirism. As long as he watched the signature of his ki, he should be safe.

What had Taro done to it? Kinjakan used to be about 1.2 meters long, or a little more. This staff was twice as long and the other end looked like… He gasped. Gekkaja! The realization triggered one of Ranma's memories.

* * *

_Ranma and Saffron had clashed over the slopes of Jusendo. Savagely, desperate over Akane's ebbing life, Ranma had slashed at the nearly incandescent creature before him using the sickle blade of Gekkaja. Earlier, Saffron had mockingly told him that he would have to dismember the kami-lord to win. Fine then!_

_Saffron had blocked with Kinjakan. "Surprised?" he had mocked. "Gekkaja and Kinjakan are precise mirrors of one another. Fire and ice. You're going to die, groundling."_

_

* * *

_  
He came back to himself and found he had moved up within striking distance of Taro. Somehow, Taro had combined Kinjakan and Gekkaja into one weapon. Perhaps they were even designed to do that. He wondered if the Phoenix Mountain folk even realized that it could be done? Or what this configuration could do. Kinjakan heated; Gekkaja froze. Akane had grasped Kinjakan as it was heating the cursed Jusenkyo waters, and had been almost instantly dehydrated. What would Gekkaja have done? He couldn't imagine, but the combination before him ate at his aura like a hungry sucking mouth, so powerful its presence acted on his ki sight like blinders – creating an odd sort of tunnel-vision. Had he been a normal person, he would have been slowly sucked dry of ki, far worse than Miss Hinako had ever done. Taro pointed the staff toward him, grinning evilly. Why wasn't Taro affected?

"Why did you steal Kinjakan and Gekkaja, Taro, and why destroy Mom's house?"

"Gekkaja?" Taro paused and twirled the staff slowly. "The freak said he'd rename me if I proved myself by stealing Kinjakan. The other piece was just a bonus."

"You didn't know which was which, did you?" Barry asked rhetorically. Taro's smirk became a grimace. "How the hell did you get them to fit together like that?"

Taro's smirk returned. "I have a brain, Saotome." They glared at one another in the glare of the burning house.

"Oh! I see," Barry said suddenly. "You noticed there were holes in the butt-end of Kinjakan and just had to stick something in them. Okay, why Mom's house?"

Taro flushed and his arm trembled. Barry carefully avoided grabbing at the staff. The memory of Akane's fate at Jusendo warred with Taro's apparent safety. Even back then, Ranma would have noticed if the Kinjakan or Gekkaja had been eating at his ki. Perhaps their union allowed both to be active without being in contact with water?

"Where is Happosai?" the other demanded again, raising Kinjakan/Gekkaja firmly.

"How should I know? When I see him, I know where he is," Barry said, crossing his arms as if he didn't care.

"All right, then. If you're going to be that way about it." Taro attacked. He used the staff as if it were a monk's spade, thrusting and slicing with short extended arcs, but not neglecting the shaft for defense. Barry dodged and retreated up the street. He decided to try physical interaction first, and found the means in a tall wooden laundry pole. He turned and counterattacked, bringing the battle back to Taro. They exchanged a flurry of strikes and counters before the shaft in his hands began to smoke. A particularly savage counter reminded Barry that Gekkaja had an edge as his pole was sliced in half and he barely evaded the crescent arc of the blade as it swung through the silk of one of Ranma's Chinese shirts. The edges of the cut crackled with frost as he countered escrima style and trapped the weapon overhead long enough to get in two hard kicks to Taro's ribs and thigh.

Taro's counter was hard, fast and unexpected. "Shindoo Keru!"

Barry felt a tremendous impact against the shielding force of his ki. He somersaulted further down the street, glad that the attack forced him away from the weapon. "So ya finally figured out ki attacks," he called to Taro. Then, to cover his concern, he added, "I've had rabbits kick me harder!"

"Yeah, right!" Taro was unimpressed by his sally and simply glided forward, ready for more. "Your girly side is beginning to show even when you're in hot water, fem-boy." He twirled the staff lazily and fire and fog swirled into an eerie disc of light and white. Taro laughed and did it again. "Interesting. It seems this thing is an expression of Tao. Tao," he repeated thoughtfully, "Taochinpang."

Barry decided that Taochinpang needed to go, no matter what it meant for the Phoenix Mountain people. As Taro closed in again, he surged into Nekoken intending to slice the dangerous implement into pieces. "Arrgh!" His fingers went numb and he barely had enough presence of mind to break off the attack and put some distance between them. Keeping it was another matter. He now confirmed in his own mind that closing with the weapon was a bad idea. His ki-claws had been sheared off by the absorbing presence of the device. He could regenerate the claws, but had his flesh touched the shiny surface of the Taochinpang …

He broke and ran, Saotome Secret Technique. He knew he wouldn't be fast enough to lose Taro, nor was that really his intent. They were still in a heavily populated area, but there was a park nearby and the crowds wouldn't be large on a cool evening like this one. With any luck, he could make it there without too much collateral damage and work on wearing Taro down. He hoped he could eliminate the Taochinpang before Akane returned.

* * *

Akane drove the Saotomes relentlessly back to the Tendo's then chased her family out of the house, setting out for Ryoga's residence. It was doubtful that Taro knew the location of the lost-boy's home. Before setting out, she phoned the Nekohanten and contacted Shampoo, telling her to meet them at Ryoga's. Cologne was quick to understand the danger to the entire Tokyo region if Taro went unchecked. The Amazons prepared for war. Ukyo was also called. She was already aware that something was wrong. As she closed her shop, she had seen the flames glinting off the clouds. She was out the door and heading toward Ryoga's before her phone stopped rattling on the hook.

* * *

At the train station, Ryu Kumon was talking to Nabiki Tendo. Their trains were headed in opposite directions, but they had time. Besides, Nabiki was having fun teasing Ryu and conning him into believing this behavior was standard practice in her family and Ranma's. He'd just have to put up with it. 

"Wow! Look at that!" He pointed to a rosy glow that sprang up. Smoke was soon billowing into the sky, lit by the fire beneath.

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" Nabiki said with habituatedresignation.

"Hmmph!" commented the martial artist, "Now that I think about it, you're probably right." He scooped her up and ran to the end of the platform. With an easy ki-boosted leap, he gained a window ledge and then the high station roof.

"You know, if you trip you'll probably be all right, but I'll be library paste," she informed him, locking her arms around his neck. "And watch where those hands go, hentai-Ryu! Or Natsume will get a very graphic report from yours truly." Ryu gulped and picked up speed. The sooner he put Nabiki down again, the safer he was. He angled toward the Tendo dojo.

"Hey! The fire's over there!" she pointed.

"I am not putting you down at ground zero in a fight, Nabiki Tendo," he growled, "so live with it!"

"You're a stubborn jackass, aren't you?" she muttered.

"Your point is?"

Without further comment, they dropped into the deserted yard. "Huh! Nobody's home." Ryu looked around. Nabiki went in, called Ucchan's and, when she got no answer there, the Nekohanten. The irate young voice of Ling-Ling complained that they were being left out of a fight and it wasn't fair, but that everyone had gone to Ryoga's house, wherever that was. Nabiki knew and hopped on the Ryu-rooftop express once more to discover what was going on. They arrived at about the same time as the Chinese contingent, but Akane was already gone.

* * *

Barry ducked and wove, trying to keep his distance from Taro. He didn't have the breath to spare for taunts or recriminations or requests of why Taro was doing this. Taro was moving as he always did when on attack; ruthless and relentless in his determination to win. As long as Barry kept reasonably close, he attacked physically. If Barry managed to get too far away, the Taochinpang was used, blasting fireballs three meters across and hot enough to melt steel. Several melted cars and a garage were victims to that attack. Twice Barry had tried ki techniques on his opponent, only to have the Taochinpang suck them away like tasty treats. Taro had a winning hand, unless…

Barry drew Taro in close then sliced the top off a fire hydrant with Nekoken. Monster-Taro roared, a deafening sound in the night. The Taochinpang was still gripped in a huge fist. Barry darted in, female, faster and armed with the Nekoken. Taro was now far more powerful, but slower. Hopefully, Nekoken would make the difference. She slid past a powerful blow of his fist, to rip at the back of his knee and then attack his belly. She got a second shock. Taro knew how to shield!

They were rough, imperfect, rudimentary, but they were enough to keep from being crippled by her attack. She considered the strategy she'd used on Akane's shields and sheathed her forearms in ki, harmonizing with Taro's technique. Again and again, she had to dodge as the time it took to work the technique negated the advantage of speed she possessed. She tried to work up onto Taro's shoulders, only realizing too late, that there was a perfect counter for that move.

(CRUNCH!)

Taro fell away from the side of the building against which he had flung himself back first. Barry reposed in a feminine depression in the brick building, stunned by the impact. Taro groaned and tested his wings with concern, if he had been at all slower, he would have been crippled! He could feel the blood run down his back where neko-claws had dug into the muscle right through his shields. Ranma was far more dangerous than he had ever let on. He turned to examine the smear Ranma should have been, but saw instead the redhead drop toward the ground, a reddish ball forming between her hands.

He laughed in his deep voice and swept the Taochinpang at his foe. The ball was nearly a meter wide as it hurtled toward him. He could have dodged it, even in monster size, but it was an easy target for his reflexes. He swung the staff, intending to treat the ball of ki like a baseball, but his weapon passed through it without perceptible effect. Then it was too close.

"Sugoi!" cheered Barry, pumping an arm as the ball shrank rapidly as it closed on the minotaur. Its final size only centimeters across.

Barry dodged the swing of the Taochinpang as the tiny shield ball that she had used to compress air radically finally destabilized. Its ki was tied directly to the earth and metal of the streets they fought in. This had made it resistant to ki-sucking power of the staff. Designed to burst when the air pressure within reached a critical point, the air trapped inside the compressing ball had been superheated by the staff's passage. Far sooner than expected, there was a crackling boom like thunder and Taro was hurled across the street. Barry fared only a little better. The light, female form was also hurled back by the explosion and she lost valuable seconds recovering from the experiment. Dazed and staggering, she made for the entrance of the park, trying, as she escaped, to work out a way to tie her shields and neko-claws to the newly discovered ki source.

Taro had been thrown into the side of a house, crushing the bathroom area and sending warm water from the furo all over him. The side of the house collapsed on him. It took him valuable time as well, to extract himself from the mess. With a curse, he hurried out into the street and looked around. Ranma could have gone anywhere by this time. He felt energy surge and brought up the Taochinpang just in time to deflect and absorb a Mouko Takabisha from inside the park. He hurried toward the source of the attack.

The park was a large modern one with lots of concrete and a rectangular reflecting pond. There were large trees, century-old oak and ash that sprang from oasis of green here and there. Part of an older park before the war, it had been reconstructed by the occupying army, who had no understanding of the Japanese penchant for imitating nature. It had its charm however and during daylight hours had plenty of room for children to play. At night it was cold, serene and linear. Barry looked about, assessing the geographical vantage points and looking for something to give her an edge over Taro.

(FWOOOOSH!)

She jumped aside, but the blast had not been aimed at her. One of the huge trees, burning like an oil-soaked rag, toppled and smashed down into the water. It blocked a potential escape route. Seconds later, another tree ignited and fell creating an arena bounded by fire and water. "That's enough running, fem-boy," Taro chuckled. "Let's get down to business, shall we?"

"At least we're outa the houses, bull-boy." Barry cracked her knuckles as inspiration struck. Perhaps the key to fighting the Taochinpang was indirect attacks. Attacks where physical damage from natural sources could be brought to bear on Taro despite Taochinpang presence. "Bakusai Tenketsu!" Barry stabbed the ground then snatched a large fragment out of the air. "Bakusai Tenketsu, revised: Hapoo Oichirasu! (Scatter shot)" Cupping her hands, she directed the force of the blast toward Taro.

Taro dropped and rolled as shrapnel sang over his head like a blast from a shotgun. He dodged again as another blast ripped his way. Ranma was playing for keeps this time! At the third shot, he set his shields and took the blast, staggering from the impact, wondering how the slight frame was dealing with the recoil of this technique. He took two more successive blasts this way without gaining ground, before responding with another attack using the Taochinpang. A fireball shot down the center of the arena, causing Barry to dodge frantically and impacting the water with a blast of steam. The breeze off the lake quickly covered the area with a dense fog.

Barry grinned viciously. She didn't think Taro had ki-vision yet, so now he was practically blind. His shields would still block her gravel shot technique so using the stealth techniques developed by Ranma's father, she glided in to attack physically at point-blank range, focusing on the arm that held Taochinpang as the first priority.

Taro grunted in pain as Ranma's grip caused his hand to spasm, releasing the weapon. As the staff clattered to the ground, he was driven away by a barrage of strikes and kicks that led to attempts at lethal blows, something he had never known Ranma to do before. She was fighting all out, shields impenetrable, strikes slipping disconcertingly through his own shields in a manner he couldn't comprehend. He was driven back two steps, then three, further from the tool he had stolen to gain Happosai's acquiescence to his name change, only to have the little freak trick him once again. Though flushed with rage and growing despair, he suddenly noted the patterns that Ranma's attacks made. It had to be a trick! But…

Desperate, Taro swung, anticipating the kick that should come in response. There! And blocked the follow-up punch so! And… Success! His kick caught Barry on the hip sending her staggering away into the fog.

His hair literally rose on end as a scream like all the pain in hell sounded out of the mist. "Ranma?" he whispered. What the hell had just happened?

* * *

Akane surged over the rooftops. She had to get to Barry fast. She could sense him to the east of the Saotome house and could see the emergency vehicles beginning to fight the fire ignited by Taro. She tore down the street then stopped in dread. Suddenly, Barry wasn't there anymore. Akane probed frantically. He seemed to have vanished. Whimpering slightly at what this could imply for her friend and Ranma, she hurled herself down to street level and through the park gates, dropping into ki-vision and seeing… 

Taro was standing only meters away, the composite weapon in his hands, looking as pale, worn and tired as she had ever seen him. Looking sick, as if…

"_No_!" She hurtled at him. "_No-o-o-o_!"

Taro flinched and tried to fend her off one-handed, holding the Taochinpang behind him. It was not a good idea. She promptly threw him through one of the pillars at the park entrance, and followed up with a vicious technique she judged might destroy the weapon that had, so nearly ended her life months before.

"Kagayaki Shindoo!" she screamed. The air seemed to congeal as the technique rolled in a wave toward Taro. He leaped straight up over the wave and sweated as the steel rebar in the brick and concrete exploded. Somehow, things had gotten out of control here. He fired off another fireball to gain time and space and boggled as Akane rocketed right through it, shields flaring against the heat.

Almost regretfully, he brought the Taochinpang around to block. Her hands slapped down on his wrists, well away from the dangerous length of metal, flipping her over his shoulder. He was flung the opposite direction as her heels drove into him in an airborne mule-kick. Even as he rolled on the pavement, pain blazing from the damage to his already torn shoulders, he could hear the impact and skid of her feet on the pavement and the running steps that told him she was returning to the attack. He spun blindly and launched a series of tiny ki-bursts to slow her charge. Damn! The tomboy was worse than the femboy these days!

Akane shrugged off the blasts. Blackened and smoking, she drove through and attacked again before Taro could set himself, driving him against the building previously damaged by the two men. Desperate, the other martial artist flailed with Taochinpang. He was shocked when the disc-shaped head went rocketing off to ricochet about, its magical edge and heat going through brick and concrete like butter and causing the side of the nearby building to collapse on them. The combatants were buried under an avalanche of brick, mortar and steel. After the crumbling racket of cascading brick, there was a long moment of local silence. The night was still again except for the wail of sirens. Water from broken pipes hissed.

Then debris convulsed and Taro's monster form surged up and staggered away from the ruined building. He patted himself as if he were recovering from the world's worst hangover and beating all at the same time, which was close to the truth. Gazing blearily over the wreckage, he saw the gleam of a particularly shiny rod and pulled the Taochinpang from the rubble, leaving scorch marks on the bricks where it passed.

A delicate hand protruded from under an edge of the debris field. Taro laid aside the staff and almost tenderly lifted aside the bricks that covered Akane's body. He vividly recalled how she had recognized the threat of the falling bricks and had jerked back, raising an almost spherical shield as she did so. That had resisted a steel re-rod for a heartbeat, until the Taochinpang had momentarily robbed her defenses of their ki and allowed the rebar to swing through the collapsing shield to strike a glancing blow to her head. Even then, the shields must have protected her from the crushing weight of brick and steel, sliding her out from under the collapsing structure like a hand squeezing a wet bar of soap. Taro reached out a huge hairy hand and caressed her cheek, searching for a sign of life, then gathered her up in one arm like a mother cradling a child. Picking up the Taochinpang with his free hand, monster-Taro launched himself into the night, bearing her away.

* * *

Nabiki sat in a chair and gritted her teeth while Ukyo paced back and forth like a caged animal. Shampoo and Mousse discussed something quietly to one side while Natsume and Ryu were similarly engaged in another corner. A call to the Unryu farm had revealed that Ryoga and Akari were already in transit and would show up any time now. 

"All right, people," Cologne graveled. "I need volunteers to act as scouts. Before anyone jumps up and down, I'm going to lay down some guidelines. Shampoo, Mousse, Ukyo and Ryu are not part of the volunteer pool. We're most likely going to need their experience and training in ki-techniques if we have to battle Taro." She looked expectantly at the others. "Nabiki and Kasumi are not martial artists. That leaves you two gentlemen," she nodded at Soun and Genma who blanched, "and Nodoka, Natsume and Kurumi as our pool."

"I'll go!" exclaimed Kurumi.

Her sister scowled, but nodded, "We're both in."

"My son's life may be at stake," Nodoka said calmly, "I will go." She turned and looked at her husband, who nodded white-faced. He had been at Jusendo and had a good idea what they might face.

Soun frowned and looked at the floor. "Years ago, an Amazon by the name of Ma Wa Shu pursued me with the intent of making me her husband. I was fortunate, I suppose, that I never fought with her and before she left agreed to be godmother to my children. Kimiko thought the world of her, but after my wife died, we lost touch." Soun seemed to search for some easy way to speak of the past. "If something were to happen, I would not have my daughters alone in the world. Can you make some arrangement to contact her?"

"Daddy!" exclaimed Nabiki irritated. "I'm in college, for heaven's sake! Kasumi's been managing the house for years! We will be fine," she huffed. "You just make sure Akane's all right!"

"Yes, dear," Soun replied automatically.

"Ma Wa Shu?" Cologne sniggered slightly. She turned to Shampoo and Mousse. "Shampoo! Were you aware…?"

"No!" Shampoo gave Soun and undecipherable look. "Ask Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung. They would know."

"Ma Wa Shu…" Kasumi murmured, head tipping to one side. "Auntie Mouthwash?" she exclaimed suddenly. "She had green hair!" She looked at Shampoo with a startled expression. Shampoo shrugged noncommittally.

"Well, well," Cologne chuckled. "Call Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung if anything happens to us, dear. I'm certain the Joketsuzoku can give you some assistance. Jan-Jan would be a good contact as well, since she was also a fosterling of Ma Wa Shu."

"Why am I getting the feeling this Ma Wa Shu would adopt anything?" Nabiki grumbled.

"T'ch! T'ch!" Shampoo clucked at her. "You think you never hear of kind Amazon before?"

"Well…" Nabiki retorted.

"Be that as it may, we have work to do," Cologne interrupted, clapping her hands. "Mousse! Give us a heads-up on Akane and Barry's positions."

"Barry was leading Taro toward that awful park the Americans built after the war," Nodoka observed. "There should be enough concrete there to limit the fire damage."

"I don't understand how Taro is using it to throw fire around like that," Mousse muttered as he focused. "I mean, sure, it can throw the fighting ring that is the head of the staff, and you can ride it like a motorized unicycle, but what Akane described is almost like Taro had turned into Saffron."

Cologne frowned rubbing her chin. Slowly the focus of the room centered on her. "Well," Genma growled, "what does three million years of Amazon lore have to say about this?" (Bop!) "Ite!"

"Moron," Cologne croaked. "I've never heard of this either. The only contact Amazons have had with Phoenix Mountain has been in opposing their slave taking."

"Akane is off that way," Mousse interrupted, pointing. "She may have been in battle. There was some flaring to her signal. Barry was that way," he pointed to one side.

She shot Mousse a sharp look. "Barry _was_ that way?"

"I can't find him now," admitted Mousse. "I was watching Akane close on his position and couldn't find him again when she left."

There was a moment of silence as they considered the implications.

"It's possible that Ranma has returned and Mousse can't identify his signature," offered Cologne. "If so, he should be with Akane."

"Or he could be dead," Nodoka said quietly. "I'm going to that park. Genma, I want you to go with Soun to check on Akane. Natsume and Kurumi will come with me."

"But…" Genma began to protest.

"If our son is gone, I will join you soon enough, dearest," Nodoka said and turned to Ranma's sisters. "Daughters, if it comes to pass that something happens to your father or I, know that I have had your names added to the Saotome lineage. If Ranma is gone, you will guard Kasumi and Nabiki in lieu of the family agreement. Do you understand?"

Kurumi gulped and nodded. Natsume turned a glance toward Ryu then turned back and nodded as well. "Let's discover the truth before we make any plans, Mother," she said.

"You all have the number, here? Good!" Cologne exclaimed. "Call us as soon as possible. As soon as Ryoga arrives, we'll set out."

Genma and Soun leaped to the rooftops and headed in the direction given for Akane. Nodoka and the girls moved off toward the park. It seemed like only seconds later that the huge bulk of Katsunishiki hove into sight, Akari riding and Ryoga alongside. The lost-boy got a wary look on his face as he realized just who was in his house. "Ummm… Is something wrong?" he asked.

* * *

Pain. Barry had experienced pain before, many different kinds of pain. One tended to accumulate such experiences as one aged, and each was as unique as the action that had created it. He tried to classify this pain as a way to understand it. Control it. He had to control it; there was something that needed done. Getting kicked by a horse was a sharp, almost painless impact followed by dull, throbbing pain. Falling off a bike at twenty miles an hour onto gravel was a shredding, trickling pain. Breaking ribs after falling on a wheelbarrow was a grating pain that left you gasping for breath. Falling off a horse was usually a dull ache. Food poisoning… ah… Food poisoning came close to what he felt, a blinding pain that left you gasping for breath, that was continuous, that eventually overrode the body's will to do anything but wish for it to be gone. 

"Saotome…"

A voice? Concentrate on the voice! It might distract from the pain.

"What happened?"

What happened? What _had_ happened? Oh… Yeah. "Stepped on that_ thing_… sucked leg dry of… ki." As she drifted on waves of pain, she considered what had happened. She had staggered back from Taro's strike and stepped on the shaft. Had she not trained extensively with this body's ki, she would have been drained dry, just like Akane had been at Jusendo. As it was, she had only saved her life. Her leg… "Kinjakan heats water, but fuels itself with ki. Only royal family of Phoenix can touch when it feeds."

"What are you talkin' about, Saotome! I'm not one of those bird-men."

"Taro?"

"Yeah, It's me, uh… Taro. I'm sorry about this, but…" He could hear the other scuffing his feet. "The pervert renamed me when I showed him Kinjakan. He named me…" Taro paused, holding his gorge down both from the shame of his name and the mess Ranma's leg was. "…_re-_named me… Lacy Darling. Why the hell can't he be serious!" he screamed at the night sky. "All I wanted was a normal name!" He looked at the shivering redhead at his feet, hands clasped about the stump of a shriveled leg. "Happosai's gonna pay for this! I swear!"

"Give… Kinjakan and Gekkaja back to… the Phoenix," whispered Barry.

"Wh—What? You're delirious, Saotome!" Taro looked over the damage once more. "I can't leave you like this, man. You'd make a poor cripple. I'll end your pain. Uh?" Shields flared and the redhead seemed encased in a bubble of force. Faintly through it, he heard her whisper, "Give it up, Taro. You haven't beaten me yet."

"You're nuts!" Taro exclaimed. He punched the bubble, then struck it with the Taochinpang, but the most he got was sparks. "Be that way then, you asshole! If you can beat me after this, I'll announce my new name to the whole world from the top of Tokyo Tower!"

Barry didn't notice him stalking into the darkness. He didn't hear the flurry of fighting outside the park, nor the hummingbird beat of wings carrying Taro and Akane away. The shield continued to glow faintly in the shadows near the reflection pool, while inside, a voice murmured over and over, "You have not yet beaten me."

"Mother, he's over here!" Barry heard a gentle tapping. "Barry-san! What happened? Barry-san!"

Kurumi? Mother? That meant…

"Kamisama! His leg…" Nodoka's voice was tinged with horror. Light hands rubbed on… something. "Barry-san! Barry-san! We can't help you if you shut us out!"

"Nodoka?" Barry rasped. "Kurumi?"

"I'm here, too, Barry-san," came the practical voice of Natsume. "Taro is gone. I think he has Akane."

"Akane?" No, he couldn't fail! Ranma was depending on him to… The redhead dropped the shield and struggled to a sitting position. "Where?" Her agonized voice shook. "Can't let Ranma down. Not when… _Ahhh_!" The withered leg brushed the ground. She suddenly came to an awareness of who and what she was and how this had happened.

"You need to get to a hospital."

"No! A hospital will take the leg! They won't understand!" Barry babbled. "They'll think the leg is dead."

"It looks dead," Kurumi said with a gulp.

Barry looked at the leg and carefully traced it with a finger. It was as if someone, for a joke, had attached a doll's leg to the middle of her hip. Barry recalled how Akane had looked at Jusendo. Of course, if she had been dehydrated, Akane would have instantly died. The guide had claimed that the Jusendo waters made the difference. That they would return her lost fluid and she had been revived with the combined waters of Jusenkyo. Barry vaguely recalled what she had said in delirium to Taro. Ki… "Get me down to the lake," Barry gasped, twisting to balance on her good leg and rising unsteadily to her feet.

"But…"

"Now! Before it's too late!" Driven, they supported her to the water's edge. "Now, into the water." Her idea was born of desperation. There were no sure options within five thousand kilometers - this had to work.

"Barry, the leg will become infected," Nodoka tried to reason with her.

Barry surged away from them to balance unsteadily, waist deep in the water. She searched for the ki there, but it was too diffuse. She found too little that she could tap into for what she needed. The ki was bound, tied to the lake as if it were part of a living organism. Barry balanced, gasping, feeling ki begin to seep into her ruined leg, but it was too slow. There wasn't enough ki directly accessible, unless…

She cast her aura out upon the waters. She might, barely, _maybe_ be able to align the lake's ki to her body. It would be enough, but it would destroy the lake and kill the fish and life within it. But if she could heal herself, repair the Taochinpang's maiming, she could stop Taro from destroying more of the city.

Even through her pain, she realized that she was making excuses to delay in a hopeless cause. If there were another way... So much of Japanese and Chinese mythology spoke of the spirits who inhabited the countryside. Even the folklore of her own native past, of Ireland and of America, spoke of such. Only modern theology ignored them, deeming them irrelevant or dangerous distractions from the All Highest. But had _He_ ever asked for that? She called out with her aura. For a long moment she wondered if the spirit of the place was gone, driven out by the interference of the occupying forces. Then she felt the waters lap at her awareness, a sense of puzzlement, and she spoke from her center, calling to what she sensed was there. "Spirit of the waters, help me. The children who walk your shores are in danger."

"_Who calls?" _ It was a whisper in the mind, but it seemed real.

"I am part of this world and part of another," she replied in a murmur, "I am injured in defense of the children of this land."

"_Why should I help you?"_ the voice finally asked. It was not angry or hostile, merely vaguely curious. "_I admit some interest. But then few actually seek to speak to me this way._"

"Don't you care for those who walk your shores?" Barry was a little surprised. She thought the land responded to its people, didn't it?

"_Mildly. I have trouble these days being interested in people who barely stop to feed the ducks and koi_,_ or watch their reflections. Amusing, considering that is what this pool was supposedly designed for._" Barry was certain now that the voice of the lake was in some way feminine. Not necessarily a good thing if yin and yang actually boiled down the way everyone said they did. He reminded himself again of the warning he gave Mio, the Tarot reader. Spirits may be good or evil and you can't know ahead of time. Opening oneself could lead to disaster.

"I am injured. I can, perhaps, heal myself, but to do so would injure your pool. I thought that would be inconsiderate," Barry said louder.

"Who are you talking to?" whispered Kurumi, staring out over the dark waters.

"Shhh…" warned Nodoka.

"_Inconsiderate_?" There was a chuckle and a sense of greater awareness. "_I suppose that would be true_." The water seemed to swell and become denser around her. "_How might you do this_?"

"If I told you, you would be able to block my attempt, would you not?" The waters swirled, as if moved by a monster koi. Barry felt agitation. "Understand, please, that I spoke in that manner to let you know I understand what I give away." Then she told the spirit of the pool about Jusenkyo and Jusendo, and the action of the Taochinpang on humans and how it might be reversed. She added a very brief summary of how she came to be in the body. There was another long silence.

Water suddenly swirled up in a column that slowly gained humanoid form. It was feminine, young looking, with lake weed for hair. As it shifted, looking at them, Barry startled a little. The lake spirit was using two small koi suspended sidewise to them to have eyes in her face, and a larger carp to give her a mouth. Occasionally, fish would be caught in her vortex to swim up into her body and back down again, or lose their place and fall into the lake through her watery skin.

"It wouldn't work, you know. Not the way you want." The words were spoken, not experienced. The water spirit glided closer. "Your attempt to take the ki of my lake would lock you as a female."

"Why?"

"Jusendo must not only be rich in ki, it must be strong in the duality of nature. Opposites attract. The yang of my lake is bound up to balance the yin of my presence here. You would attract only yin. What you really need is a concentrated source of balanced ki. Water _would_ help with the healing of your leg. Water permeates like air, but can be contained like stone or metal, but the ki is most important."

Barry hissed, partly in frustration, partly in pain. "I am in your debt, though I may never be able to repay it. I might have acted in ignorance."

"You didn't. And you have been polite, more than I can say for some of the litterbugs around here." A piece of paper trash briefly slid up her body and swirled around in her head, disturbing the fish there. "I sense you have a patron. Perhaps he or she may help? Can you tell me who it is?"

"The only patron I admit to is the All Highest God through his Son. I'm a Christian." Barry almost expected the creature to have a fit and flee. He'd read enough stories where they did. Yet, this one did not.

"Hmmm… You know that He really wants you to go directly to Him?"

"He also expects us to do our best with the tools he has given us. I had come to the lake with that in mind, but remembered that one like you might be here. I will go."

"There is a way you can do this." The spirit swirled closer. "But you will need their help." She pointed to the Saotomes. "They must offer some of their ki to aid you. They are even of your blood, which is better. I can concentrate the ki close to you where you can use it."

"But they are female."

"All mortals contain their balance. They are yin and yang."

"What payment do you require?" Barry conceded her point but raised another issue. Payment was almost always an issue with spirits and leaving it unsaid almost always produced a blank check in the spirit's favor.

"I like you," the water spirit said, "I'm also going to see you do something I've never seen before, and that's special. Perhaps I should waive…"

"Perhaps I have something to offer?" suggested Nodoka. The spirit turned to her. "I am well known to the ward council that oversees this area. Perhaps I could convince them to restore your lake to the way it was before the War? I've seen photos. It was quite lovely."

Barry could have sworn the eyes of fish managed to blink. "That… That would be nice. Very well! Petition your council as payment for my help." She waggled a finger at Nodoka. "And none of this 'I tried' business! Pester them! Or I'll visit you in your kitchen sink!"

"Don't tempt me," retorted Nodoka. "I think you'd be far better company than some I've had." Her retort caused the spirit to lurch with bubbly little hiccups that Barry finally decided were giggles.

"Then let us begin!" burbled the lake spirit. "This is what we shall do…"

* * *

Ten minutes later, a healthy red-haired girl stood shakily on two good legs beside the lake, water cupped in her hands. "Let's see if this works!" she said, and drew ki to her hands till the water steamed. Even as she poured it over her head, the body was swelling, growing taller, till Ranma's boy-type stood beside the still waters. He took in a breath and nodded to the women around him, weak as if they were recovering from a Hinako-type ki-draining. Barry sensed movement and turned to see Genma dropping into the park.

"What's wrong with you, No-chan!" he exclaimed. "And girls…" Somehow he managed to squeeze them all into a bear hug as he exclaimed over their weakened states.

"Urk! Not so tight, husband," Nodoka gurgled. "Why aren't you with Soun?"

Genma scowled. "We found Akane. Taro has her tied to a concrete bench over at the high school. Soun is keeping watch in case he tries something." He glared at Barry. "Where have you been? Why didn't you protect her?"

"I was out of action. Nodoka will explain," Barry said quietly. "There is no excuse for my failure to this point, but I think I know how to deal with Taochinpang now." His eyes caught Genma's. "You mean Taro has her at Furinkan?"

"Over by the pool. She looks like she put up a fight." Genma paused. "So did Taro for that matter." He frowned. "What's Taochinpang?"

"Taro's weapon. That's what Taro calls the fusion of Kinjakan and Gekkaja," Barry answered him shortly. "You contact Cologne and meet us there. If Taro won't give up Taochinpang willingly, I want us all to hit him. If he's not stopped, he could easily burn down the ward like Saffron did Jusendo."

"Where will you be?" Genma asked.

"Where else? I'm going to get Akane clear before the fireworks start, then, if I can, lure him down to the soccer field. If we take him by surprise, you'll have cover and height advantage. If not, at least you'll have escape routes. I'll be trying to keep him on the ground and immobile enough for a good shot." He leaped into the night.

* * *

Soun watched silently in the shadows. His daughter, his baby girl, still seemed to be unconscious, tied with numerous loops of wire stripped from the surrounding fence, to the concrete bench alongside the Furinkan swimming pool. The damage from the 'Ranma-iichuan' incident was still evident, the stumps of the diving platform twisted and stark in the light from the pool. He glanced up to where Taro squatted on the roof of the high school overlooking the scene. If anything had ever said 'bait' to the Tendo patriarch, this was it. His fingers itched. In his hand were the bow and arrows of his samurai heritage. 

Though kyudo had been only one of the forms he had taught Akane, he had been inordinately pleased with the accolades she achieved at the martial arts competition in September. He hoped his own skills had not deserted him, but he would wait for the others. Saotome should be back soon.

Taro was well aware of Soun below, hidden in the bushes at the corner of the building. He felt a mild contempt for the man for not coming out to challenge him for his daughter, regardless of the fact that if Taro could match Ranma, the man would be totally outclassed. Though Taro was well acquainted with war and the no-holds-barred combat of trail and back street, he was, at the moment, still treating this as a martial artist's duel. He pondered the fortune of his life and this artifact he held that promised immense power, yet had left what could have been a satisfying victory as ashes in his mouth.

No normal male could help but feel a twinge of attraction to Ranma's girl-type. It was one of the things that made him nervous about the other man, that and the almost inhuman way Ranma solved martial arts challenges. The sight of the redhead writhing in agony on the ground in the light of the burning trees haunted him. He had done his best to keep the Taochinpang from touching Akane, and had taken some damage solely because he had been unwilling to duplicate what had happened only moments before.

He was on the roof of Furinkan for two reasons. He didn't want to be near Akane when she woke to answer questions about what he had done to Ranma. He gagged anew at the memory of that tiny, flopping leg attached to Ranma's hip. The other, of course, was tactical. He knew someone would come. Possibly Ryoga… probably one or more of Ranma's fiancées, thirsting for revenge. He'd met the Amazon and understood that the pretty noblewoman he'd helped deal with Happosai some time ago was another of the crowd. They were all martial artists, capable of doing damage. He had to find some way of defeating them without a repeat of the obscenity that had been his greatest rival's fate.

"Taro?"

He stiffened. The tomboy was finally awake. He wondered if she would call for help or simply try to work free of her bonds when she decided he had left her there.

"Taro, I know you're up there on the roof with Kinjakan, so don't even try to pretend you're not!" Her voice was angry and held a resolve that told him she was not merely casting in the dark. His curiosity warred with his disinclination to talk to her. Finally, he dropped from the roof, letting his free hand trail along the wall to use window ledges to slow his descent.

"Feh! So, how do you like my new toy here?" he asked twirling the staff. "I call it Taochinpang." At her unimpressed glare he shrugged. "How did you know I was up there?"

"Where's Ranma?" she countered. They glared at one another for a long moment. When Taro turned away, Akane added desperately, "Wait! He's alive, isn't he?"

"He was when I left him," Taro replied neutrally. "Now how did you know I was up there?" Taro returned to her side. "I can find out anyway, gorilla-girl. You'd be surprised what Taochinpang can do." He poised the crescent shaped blade over her head. Akane cringed at the cold radiating from the silvery blade.

Akane glared at him, but finally relented. "Ranma and a… friend of ours discovered a way to see ki and auras. If you went inside the school right now, I could tell you what room you were in and probably what you were doing in it."

Taro blinked and reared back. "Feh! He was telling the truth! Only he would come up with the ultimate 'peeping tom' technique!" He glared at Akane with contempt. "I can guess what your _friend_ demanded for his help, too!"

"What?" Akane didn't understand the sudden change of tone. She knew nothing of Happosai's lie about their ki-training. She marshaled her thoughts and returned to what she felt was the subject at hand. "_Where's Ranma_?" she fairly screamed at him.

Taro opened his mouth and shouted, but not an answer to her question. His wrist was suddenly encased in a steel grip, the wrench disarming him of Taochinpang even as it tried to break the limb. He twisted and surged into an airborne flip about the trapped limb and swung a strong kick at his new attacker. He was released and thrown into the pool, half-full of fresh water to winterize it after the disaster with Kodachi.

"Barry!" Akane whispered, relieved. The way Taro had been acting…

"Little hard to use neko when yer tied like that, isn't it?" he asked, slicing the wire away with quick movements of his hands.

"Just a little," she agreed. Beyond them, Taro's monster form surged high with a roar, orienting on them, eyes burning with rage. Barry countered with a regular Mouko Takabisha. Without Taochinpang in his hands, such attacks should be more effective.

Taro brushed the ball of ki aside with a shielded forearm and raised his own palm. Spinning, flaming crescents seemed to erupt to glance off Barry's hasty defense and crash explosively into the building. As was often the case for Barry or Ranma, cold water erupted from shattered pipes to induce the Jusenkyo curse.

"C'mon, tomboy, together we can take him!" snarled the sudden redhead.

"I can't feel my hands or feet," Akane exclaimed desperately, "I can't fight yet!"

Barry turned a glance toward her in concern and Taro used the distraction to snatch Taochinpang with one of his octopus tentacles. Raising the staff high, the monster began to glow as he prepared a huge fireball. Barry had an awkward moment trying to pick up Akane in her smaller girl-type arms, wincing, knowing that her shields were about to be tested to the limits in the tight confines of the courtyard.

An arrow glanced off the heavy snout beside the left eye of monster-Taro. He bellowed and raised his hand to determine the damage in time to intercept a second arrow in its cabled back. With a roar, Taro swung toward this new attack and leveled Taochinpang.

"Run, Soun!"

Soun reacted instinctively to the warning, jerking back just in time to let the building shield him from the blast of flame. As he backed hurriedly away, he heard the concrete crack and shatter as heat as intense as a kiln superheated the surface layers of the building. He cursed when he saw that his bowstring had been fried. Without a long-distance weapon, he was forced to retreat. He only hoped that gaijin in Ranma's body could get Akane clear.

Barry ran like a bat out of hell, dodging through the corridors that led through the gymnasium from the pool to the soccer field. She couldn't believe her luck. Taro had been so enraged that he was literally burrowing through the building after them. While Barry couldn't just drop Akane off in one of the side rooms, she had hopes now of hiding Ranma's fiancée safely, once outside, before luring the big cow out into the field. There was always the chance that Taro would injure his wings in the passage and save her the trouble of clipping them later. Furinkan High School was not, unfortunately, doing too well, but at least no one was here at this hour… was there?

"What is de big coconut breakin' goin' on out heah?" bellowed Principal Kuno dressed in palm-tree print pajamas and wearing a night-mask that looked to be two slices of pineapple. "People be tryin' ta _sleep_!"

"Oops!" Barry had forgotten that the fruitcake lived somewhere in the school. He was a jerk, but even jerks deserved their chance. "Look out! It's a _monster_!" she screamed rocketing past.

"Say what?" exclaimed Kuno blankly. "What two wahini be doin' in de school this time o' night?" He turned at the roar. "_Ahhh_!" Taro was almost on top of him, shoulders filling the hall from wall to wall, horned skull dipping out of the drop-ceiling tiles, trailing wires and light tubing in his wake. He was glowing. "Wow! One big em-effin' _demon_, yah," the fruitcake screeched, as he pulled two pineapple bombs from somewhere and tossed them at Taro before diving back through the door.

(PLAM! PLAM!)

His numerous injuries now soaked in stinging pineapple juice, Taro was less than pleased. He thrashed about and roared, bringing the second floor down on his admittedly large shoulders, demolishing the hall and, at least momentarily, trapping himself under concrete and steel.

Barry dodged out of the door just ahead of a billowing wave of debris and headed for the equipment shed that had the controls to the field's sprinklers. There were bushes there where Akane could recuperate in relative safety and yet it was close enough to the action that she could get back in as soon as she was ready. The redhead laid her down in that shelter and dropped to her knees.

"The gang is comin' loaded for… Well anyway, they're comin', Akane. Protect Shampoo and Ukyo and help them get in close with their new moves. It may be the only chance we get. I wish ta God I'd managed to teach the Amazon and the ghoul how to tie personal shields to earth-ki. It has trouble absorbing that! It'd be better if we had two groups or even three." They heard the roar from Furinkan and watched a section of wall topple out from the punch of an enormous fist. "No time left – Here – take this. Wish me luck!" Barry forced the knowledge of the earth ki technique into her ki-awareness. She gasped at the feeling of excitement, compassion, fear and determination that swept in with it.

Barry gave her a kiss on the forehead and ran out into the field. Akane looked after her bemused. "What?"

"Hey, freak! Over here! Ya want a piece a me, ya overgrown _steer_?" Barry danced down toward the soccer field as a huge form burst out of the side of Furinkan in hot pursuit.

Barry retreated toward the field. This would draw the minotaur away from Akane and allow her to limber up her revised weaponry. If Taro was foolish enough to try to use Taochinpang as a weapon… Taro leaped from the rise and hummed across the intervening space, crane wings blurring. Flame blossomed and balls of fire streaked down to bracket the martial artist in a strafing run that did a fair imitation of a napalm drop. The octopus ink didn't help, either, streaming in inky splatters or flaming from Taochinpang's ignition. Barry quickly found herself in the middle of the only ground in the field that was not on fire. As Taro passed again, Barry sent up a barrage of the shrinking earth-ki-spheres, with their deadly cargo of compressing gas. There was a shocking series of detonations and Taro slammed down in the midst of the hell he had caused with a bellow of pain. More roaring sounded before the monster, smoking and staggering, surged out of the flames, shields raised to confront the tiny human that had caused him so much grief. He still held Taochinpang. They charged one another.

* * *

"Akane Tendo?" 

Akane jumped. She had been so concerned with getting feeling back into her limbs that she had not been scanning her surroundings. "Mousse?"

"I've found her," Mousse softly called to someone behind him. Akane was suddenly enveloped in a Shampoo glomp, an experience that guiltily reminded her how often she had blamed Ranma for not escaping from them.

"Is Akane all right?" gasped Shampoo anxiously. "Aiya! Monster-boy tie you up, yes?" She quickly took over massaging Akane's hands with almost brutal pressure. Her victim groaned with the advance of returning sensation.

"Barry said I should conserve myself as a shield for your ki-techniques," Akane gasped. Shampoo moved to her legs with competent authority. "He's going to try to get Taro to sit still long enough to be a target. Ukyo and Shampoo are to take him out with the Okonomiyaki Sogu and the Megami Hamaya." She winced and flexed one hand as Shampoo moved on to another. "Taro calls the joined staffs, Taochinpang. I get the impression that it is much more than a weapon."

Ukyo blanched. She really didn't want to try that on a human being. The apparent damage to Senbei and his two demonesses had been a bit too graphic in retrospect. Still, she had heard what Barry's/Ranma's leg had looked like after contact with Taochinpang. Taro had gone too far this time.

"We need to catch him in a cross-fire to be sure, dear," advised Cologne. She pointed to Ukyo and Ryoga who loomed large and silent in the ruddy light. "You two move over to the bleachers. It's good cover and closer to the action. Shampoo?" Her great-granddaughter stood and nodded. Akane shakily got to her feet, still wiggling her hands a bit to get out the pins and needles. "We will use the brush over there." She pointed to a spot not far from where a pigtailed goddess first confronted a deluded kendoist. "I think I have the shield technique worked out; but if not, there is room to retreat. Akane, you shield for Genma and Ryu as they use their Yamasen techniques. You have the strongest shields and will need to get in the closest for them to be effective." Cologne glowered at them. "I want you to understand something." She scowled at them all. "Taro must not leave here with Taochinpang. You cannot believe how much trouble this will cause as it is. If Taro keeps that item, it is possible all of Asia will shortly see massive destruction and war with millions dying. Only the ignorance of the various bureaucracies to the true power of the ancient ways has let them play at government with any restraint. The more they understand that things like Taochinpang exist and can be used, the more likely it will be that they will strive to unleash powers far beyond their comprehension and control. Thermonuclear bombs are not the worst that can happen." Her audience shuddered. "Let's go help Barry, then."

* * *

Barry gasped in the heat of the field and wondered how Taro could stand it with all that hair. The heat generated by the flames, and the energy generated by her body while trying to avoid those flames, were taking their toll. 

"Hey, yak-head! Ya sure ya don't wanna take another swim?" she taunted, dodging a fist as large as her torso. She took the opportunity to rip at his shields and skin where she could reach it, but damaging a creature as naturally well protected as Taro, was made doubly difficult because of his shields. Still he had numerous cuts and abrasions, some of them fairly serious.

Though outwardly unharmed, she was beginning to reach the limits of her endurance. The constant shielding and ki techniques were draining her. If something didn't change soon… Hmmm… In the ground, beneath her feet, was a metal access hatch almost a meter across. It seemed to lead into a sewer or maintenance crawl-way. She couldn't spare the energy to see if Cologne and the others were in position. She had to hope they were ready, and that the delay was because she and Taro hadn't stopped dancing around each other. If she could hit him with that hatch, then drop into the crawl space, it would give them the still target and clear field that they needed.

With a variation of the ki-ribbon, she contacted the latent ki in the earth and in the hatch and began to motivate it at Taro. Taro hesitated. He could tell Ranma was up to something, but wasn't sure what, his huge form stood poised to dodge or defend.

* * *

For Ukyo, Shampoo Genma and Ryu, this was the moment. 

A blazing disc formed in the air above the chef's straining hand, spinning to life like a hungry buzz saw. She took aim on Taro's hand gripping the staff. Power arced up and down as Shampoo, eyes half-closed in concentration, drew her _ki_-bow, its elongated ends reducing the strain of her first attempts, the curve of its span framing her body in profile like a crescent moon. Her forming ki-arrow, or Megami Hamaya, sparkled like a star in the night. The trio of Genma, Ryu and Akane had worked out a path of jumps that would land them close enough for the Yamasen techniques to work. If they were lucky, Taro would end up immobilized with broken legs. Designed to cut the foundations from under a house, they needed to be fairly close, as the effect acted like a cutter-charge of explosive. As Taro hesitated, they moved, Akane's hands grasping Genma and Ryu's belts to link them all in unison. She could not raise her shields until after they had attacked, and the heat from the flames raised blisters on her exposed skin. They made their position as Shampoo released her ki-arrow. Ukyo's disc blazed off in response to Shampoo's attack and, seconds later, dual attacks of ki were fired from outstretched palms of Genma and Ryu.

* * *

Then the ground erupted from under Barry's feet, and Taro convulsed as 100 kilos of charged steel punched him in the gut. Ukyo's ki-disc took the tip off a horn instead of Taro's hand as he staggered back, clutching his abused gut. The Hamaya, aimed for his body,exploded under his chin, flipping him into the air just in time for the Yamasen attacks to slice harmlessly beneath his heels. Fortunately, the Hamaya' detonation had also dumped Barry on her backside. The cutter-charge compressed air blades swept overhead to disperse their force against air and landscape. 

Taro surged to his feet with a bellow of rage and shot off three massive fireballs in as little time as it took to blink. He knew when he was attacked, and he had always made it a habit of making ambushers really pay for such bad manners. He laughed as he heard screams of fear and consternation vanish as flames engulfed the positions of his foes. His laughter shut off abruptly as the fire almost bounced back in his face, and he found himself enclosed along with Ranma in a hemisphere of force nearly sixty meters across.

"_You__bastard_!" He turned to face a livid pigtailed girl, glowing in crimson anger. "You _arrogant_ _son of a bitch_!"

Taro almost backed up as the figure advanced across the charred ground. He noticed nervously that the fires nearest them were now dying unnaturally, and the figure before him was growing ever more powerful where seconds ago, he would have sworn she was nearly unconscious with fatigue. He set himself, Taochinpang across his body. It was as if Ranma were draining the ki from everything around her, even the ground. He tried to counter with Taochinpang, but the staff was unresponsive to this technique.

"All this for a name?" The redhead spat at him. "A _stupid_ eff-ing name?"

Taro stumbled, and realized the sphere was collapsing, closing in on him. The air was getting thick. Taro eyes grew wide. Was Saotome insane? Was he going to set off a gigantic compressed air bomb, with them _inside_ of it?

"That was _Akane_, you bastard! And Ukyo and Shampoo and Ryoga and Ryu Kumon and Cologne and Mousse. You murdering sub-human! There's _nothing_ left! You are _not_ walking away from this." The martial artist stood gazing with contempt at the astonished monster.

Taro charged. He had to drop Saotome before she could set off the technique or they'd be scraping his guts off buildings as far away as Nagasaki. He slashed with the sickle edge of Taochinpang and watched it glance off a bubble that suddenly surrounded only Ranma. The walls continued to shrink in. He punched and kicked at the barrier and slammed at it with alternating blows of Taochinpang. He was met with a contemptuous sound that missed being a laugh by several degrees.

"I so wanted to go home," he heard her say. "But how can I have everything I love when you've destroyed everything of _his_?" Taro stared at the figure inside the sphere. His wings were beginning to be hampered and the air was close and tight. The redhead hugged herself across her chest and wept silent tears as Taro continued to try to get the leverage or power to stop her. Shaking as if she could barely stand, she murmured, "I'm _not_ Ranma... I've been holding on, pretending till he got back, praying there was someplace for me to go home to. Up till now, I thought I at least had my finger in the dike, but _this_…" Tears continued to pour down her cheeks.

"Grwaaaaw!" gasped the trapped martial artist-monster. He no longer had room to swing Taochinpang, but used it to frantically file and saw at the wall that kept him from the redhead. What did she mean 'not Ranma'? Taro stared, panting as he tried to grasp what she was saying.

Barry felt she might have just enough power left. She raised her eyes.

"On the other side of the world, Taro, there was a type of kami who sang for the dead. It was known as the Banshee." Barry felt pain beginning to crawl across her body as Taochinpang sucked in every loose bit of ki from her shields. There was no way to stabilize the shield enough to prevent it, so she had to endure it. "I'm going to sing you off, Taro." She giggled suddenly, a sound of madness that raised the hairs along Taro's spine.

_"Hush, my babe, for the red bee hums, a si-lent twi-light's call…"_

The song was an old Gaelic lullaby. As Barry sang, she accessed the ki technique they called ki-radio. She used it to harmonize with girl-Ranma's almost delicate soprano then began octave jumps to search down for what she needed. She knew that, somewhere between five and fifteen cycles, there was a sonic waveform that killed, if the energy was sufficient. No material had ever been developed to make it feasible for military use; the backlash destroyed the equipment producing it. But ki presented answers as it had so often and she had all the energy left in this body. If she could find the right pitch, it might be enough.

_"E-vil fro-om the gray rock comes to cast the wo-orld in thrall…"_

If _only_ she had thought of this earlier, she could have stopped this, could have captured or killed Taro despite Taochinpang. But it was too late. "I hope somehow, that you can take care of Gwen," Barry thought before remembering; Ranma was bound to this body – their deaths would be mutual. "I'm so sorry, Ranma" she whispered.,

_"Too-ro-lei, my joy, my child; my love, my own true heart's desire…__"_

The power continued to build even as Taro, breathless and sick on the dense atmosphere of the outer sphere, began to realize it was finished.

* * *

Akane coughed and groaned, slowly rising to her feet, maintaining the shield even as the embers died around her. The whole field was blackened, charred, almost glazed in places. Faintly she heard… singing? She looked around. Genma and Ryu were choking on smoke. Earlier, she had seen the fireball arcing toward the Amazons and sensed the attack on Ryoga and Ukyo. She had barely managed to get the shield up in time, but it had trapped them in a smoke-filled sphere, unable to breathe the air within, not daring to attempt the air without. Then the flames died down as if doused and she dared to release them from her _ki-_fortress. Now there was only a flame-wreathed ball with a gibbering demon capering around an angel who sang within the flames. She staggered forward, wincing as she burned her feet on coals that had not had a chance to cool. 

_"The cric-ket si-ings a lul-la-by, beside the dy-ing fire…__"_

With crystal clarity, Akane saw the tears, saw the face and realized what must have happened and what the pigtailed singer was thinking. Taochinpang was like a great ki-emitting arc-lamp. Between its 'light' and their shields, Barry couldn't see or sense them. _Barry thought they were all dead_.

Barry had gone over the edge.

"_Bar-ry_!" she screamed. It turned into a cough. "We aren't dead," she tried to croak. "Don't give up hope!" She stumbled forward. She had to reach Barry before…

* * *

Barry had gathered the power. She thought she had found the note, a tone that would set off an almost instantaneous multiple-octave drop to six cycles per second. She had eyes only for the laboring beast before her. She didn't savor the moment. It was simply _time. _She drew in breath for one final shout.

**(((((("**_**TARO!"))))))**_

The shock wave rolled out across the field in all directions like a tidal wave.


	58. Where Your Hopes Are

**Guest Ki: Chapter 57**

_**Where Your Hopes Are**_

Akane rolled to her knees, retching, trying to vomit from a stomach that had been forcefully evacuated seconds before. Had it been a shout? An explosion? She had felt a pressure, been seized by an all-encompassing sense of nausea. Her ki was off. She managed to shift it back to where it belonged, an effort that sent her once more to retch and heave. She was having trouble seeing. She wiped her face and realized tiny blood vessels had broken and she was bleeding from nose, mouth and ears. She made more adjustments and her head cleared.

Water mains were hissing. She stumbled to one releasing cold water, to scrub her face. Her vision improved and she went looking for a pig-tailed form.

She passed Taro without a glance, his form human again from the heavy cloud of steam in the air. The steam rose from the manhole Barry had uncovered in his initial attack on Taro. It was partially crushed and the steam was hot enough to make approach painful. Just beyond was a shallow crater, condensing water already pooling in it, making it appear to be an onsen for an elite customer at a spa. Ranma's male form was resting peacefully, his arms out along the edges of the pool as if waiting for her to drop in and snuggle close.

Thirty meters away, Genma rolled to his knees and looked around blearily. Where was he? He tried to get to his feet but tripped over Ryu. Landing in a puddle, he went panda and for some reason, that helped. He shook Ryu awake and pointed to where the gaijin and Taro had been moments ago.

Fifty meters away, pieces of burned bleachers soared skyward as Ryoga let loose a Shishi Houkudan. He and Ukyo stumbled out of the smoking ruins that had fallen on them in Taro's attack. Ryoga's shields had been more than sufficient for the task but, like Akane's, brought up almost too late. They were smoke-blackened and worried. What had Barry done?

Sixty meters off in another direction, bushes and trees still blazed merrily and a glowing sphere rolled out of the woods, propelled by the will of a purportedly three hundred year old Amazon sorceress and martial artist. Her great-granddaughter and her half-blind companion leaned against one another in an attempt to stay upright in this strange environment. As they left the fires behind them, Cologne dissolved their protection for easier travel.

"Come along, children. I fear that things got far out of hand."

"I go to Akane, Grandmother," replied Shampoo, as she took off at top speed for the tiny crater. If her 'Sister of Heart' were anywhere, it would be beside the body of the man she loved.

"Stay back with me, Mousse," Cologne said sharply, as the hidden weapons master made to follow. "I may need your assistance with Taro."

"Yes, Elder," he replied submissively. A bystander might think he was looking around at the destruction in a daze, when in fact, he was noting that damage had been relatively minor this time, a house, a few buildings, half the school and the soccer field. They had escaped lightly. He stiffened as he heard a feminine wail start up. Maybe not so lightly after all.

"Quickly, boy!" Cologne snapped. "I'll see to Barry-san as soon as we're certain Taro won't start this all over again!"

Taro lay on his back, breathing shallowly, his body looking as if an army of angry Akanes had been beating on it. His iridescent vest and bracers gleamed in the fading firelight. To one side lay the Taochinpang, hissing on the earth, the contact beginning to glaze the ground beneath the sun disc, and crackle with frost beneath the moon blade. Cologne glanced over his body and jerked faintly. She could see the lines of energy curling and interlacing within his body.

Barry and the children had tried for some time to teach her ki-vision, or barring that, some of their techniques. It had made her nervous and unhappy that Mousse, the weakest of the Amazons present in Japan, seemed inherently better at ki than she. They had tried several ways to induce the odd centering required, but her horde of experience had actually gotten in the way and it had seemed too difficult to unlearn old habits.

It had taken the sight of that huge ball of magical fire coming at them to send her into extreme focus and cast away her habits to concentrate and use what they had taught her. Not the best way to learn the ki-shield and the ki-vision all at the same time. She traced the lines almost lovingly, noting that only a little more damage could push the boy over into death.

But Taro had to give some answers first and before that, they had to secure Taochinpang. She rapidly touched several points on the young man's body, noting the look of the ki as it twisted, locking him in slumber. It would not interfere with his healing, but Taro was having no second chance at starting this all over again. She drew a finger over the scaly vest and bracers, trademark items for this martial artist.

"Mousse, remove Taro's vest and bracers. I have an experiment to conduct. If these items are authentic dragon scales, it might explain what happened here." Mousse nodded and at her direction, picked up the scaly vest. Using it like an oven mitt, he gingerly grasped Taochinpang with his hands. "Good. Now try to separate them," Cologne commanded.

Mousse glanced at the juncture of the staffs. Gold and silver, it seemed a solid and integral bond. He tugged experimentally. Nothing. He heard Akane wailing in the darkness beyond and with his ki senses made out the others approaching. Shampoo's voice called out, filled with concern. He didn't have time for this. "Come apart, dammit!" He gasped as, with a brief flare, the two staffs separated, leaving him holding the two, weapon/Jusendo faucets awkwardly in his hands.

"Move them apart, but don't touch them further, Mousse," Cologne warned. "Now let's find out what happened to Barry-san and Ranma."

Akane had splashed across the shallow pool to fall to her knees beside the still form. She examined the body of her fiancé on many levels, discovering that physically he was relatively unhurt, but that on the ki level…

Barry was gone. The twined astral bands were nonexistent. Of the body's astral energy, a single strand stretched out almost limply, bent around some indefinable corner and vanished from her perception. The body hung in her arms, limp and unresponsive, eyes closed as if asleep. She could see, however, tiny blemishes, as the outer edges of his aura were beginning to separate and sublimate away.

"No!" It was an agonized choking cry. "Please, Ranma, _don't__leave me!_"

Shampoo had been picking her way past puddles of water. There was no way of telling whether they were hot or cold, and she really didn't need to go cat just now. Her sharp ears picked up Akane's anguish and she threw caution aside, racing forward to kneel beside the pool and touch her friend's shoulder. She didn't need ki-vision to sense what was happening.

"Great-grandmother, hurry!" she called out, even as Genma and Ryu stumbled up.

Genma slid into the water on the other side of Ranma's body and changed back to human. He carefully supported Ranma and Akane as the girl cried and called out over and over for the young man she had hidden her love from for nearly two years. Suddenly, Genma understood Soun's tears and he was ashamed of ridiculing his old friend. Some losses were too much to bear.

Ukyo stumbled up using her twisted mega-spatula as a crutch and toting a transformed Ryoga. He had not seen a puddle and had been pigged. He heard Akane's anguish and wept himself. They had stopped Taro. Big deal. Ukyo set Ryoga down and sat beside the water's edge. She reached out and stroked Ranma's hair, then Akane's. Such a waste!

Cologne laid her staff down and knelt between Ukyo and Shampoo at Ranma and Akane's heads. She sighed as she took in the state of things. She didn't know how she would tell Akane that, if Ranma did not return from this journey within a few minutes, they would have to burn his body immediately to avoid possession by demons or malicious kami. "Akane… Akane, child! Listen to me." It took her a few moments to get her attention.

"What? Leave me alone! I want…"

"You want Ranma. If there is any chance of getting him back, you're going to have to work at it. Remember how you untangled the lines of ki, child? Use your training. Trace him, find him and call him back. Whatever you do, don't stop calling!"

Akane blinked back her tears. Cologne's words implied there was some hope. Her jaw firmed – the stubborn tomboy set that usually sent Ranma running for cover. She closed her eyes and pressing herself as tightly as she could to his body, began her search.

* * *

Ranma blinked, or tried to. Gwen had been _very_ intent on giving Barry his birthday present and Barry's body seemed equally intent on accepting it. He had tried desperately to escape. He wasn't some damn Peeping Tom pervert! If he was going to look or touch or… or… at a girl's body, he wanted it to be Akane's. No! Mentally he belted himself. She'd kill him if she knew he had such thoughts… absolutely _kill_ him! Or would she? He remembered how she looked on the night of the Ramen Noodle event and shivered. His lips tingled from a kiss that hadn't quite happened.

"Hey there!"

His head jerked up from his musings. Before him floated a pigtailed figure, hands on hips, breasts pointing provocatively. They were unclothed in this place, which suddenly embarrassed him, as looking at his female body in a mirror never had.

"I've seen it already. No need to hide," she said glibly as he began to turn away.

"What's going on?" he asked.

She bounced and clapped her hands. "Ranma, you can be so dense!" girl-type Ranma exclaimed acidly. "Don't you remember the plain of light or the radiance… or even Barry?"

"Barry?" Ranma jerked as if struck. "Of course I remember Barry! I've been stuck in his body for a week, after all!" He wondered why she smiled sadly. "What about this… radiance?"

"Oh, Ranma, Ranma, Ranma!" She looked disappointed. "We're between worlds. That's what the radiance said. Somewhere nearby is the road back home, if we can find it and make use of it."

"To Akane?" he exclaimed and was startled, as the other seemed to shoot toward him, almost within touching distance. The redhead smiled.

"Yes, to Akane." She turned half away. "But, Ranma… There is something else you can do here. You can rid yourself of me." She receded then, only brought back into perspective by the almost bone-jarring force of Ranma's will.

"…" Ranma blinked wordlessly at her, somehow very aware that this was the truth. Finally, he inquired, "At what cost?"

The redhead smirked. "So; Nabiki finally rubbing off on you?" She looked away suddenly, uncertain. "You could lose all the girly stuff."

Ranma considered. Ice cream. Tears of sadness. Appreciation of a sunset or a waterfall as something other than information. Akane's smile... There was a lot of 'girly stuff' in his life. "Can I get a new Pops, instead?"

His curse blinked, then snickered. "You could, I suppose, but if you did, it might change whether you would have met Akane."

"Ahhh... I'd rather not risk it." Ranma looked around. "So where do we go from here? I don't see any road," he said rejected the idea of rejecting his alter ego.

The redhead frowned this turn of events. "Ummm… About me, now – you don't seem excited that you could be cured."

Ranma shrugged. "You've been with me long enough that… well… I could live with ya. Right now I'm more concerned with getting back to Akane." His eyes narrowed as he tried to discern something, anything that would provide him with a guide. "I don't feel somehow, that I should stay here too long." His eyes narrowed. "Did Barry-baka get back okay?"

The girl-curse frowned, then shrugged. "The radiance took him."

Ranma thought a minute then shrugged. "Is it coming back for me?"

The curse shrugged. "How should I know?"

_))))…Ranma!... ((((_

"Did you hear that?" Ranma cast about desperately, trying not to think of the implications.

"That was Akane," the other nodded. "She sounded upset." He jerked back to look at his curse. "She sounds worried."

"Man, there ain't much that makes our tomboy worried," he said shakily. "I…"

"_Our_ tomboy?"

Ranma smirked.

_))))…Ranma!... ((((_

"If she sounds like that, I'll have to pass on the offer," he pointed out. "Maybe next time." He turned in the direction Akane's voice seemed to come from but then looked back over his shoulder. "You comin?" But the cursed form had vanished. With a final shrug concerning things otherworldly, his form blurred.

Behind him a voice softly whispered, "Have you embraced your curse then, Ranma Saotome?"

Akane!

_)))"Ranma! Please come back to me…"(((_

He felt buffeted now.

About him swirled other copies of himself, all searching, all yearning, but they weren't precisely copies either. Differences in size, hair color, the way they held themselves, betrayed the fact that some were martial artists, many in other disciplines, but some were not at all… He locked eyes briefly with one as tall and massively present as Ryoga, with a braid to his waist, who nodded in passing in a grim abstract manner that made him shiver. The curse was present in all of him and in each was subtly different.

He gaped at one that swirled by, a look of determination on this other Ranma's face. The curse's difference was obvious. This other Ranma's_ Nyanniichuan_ should have been called the pool of the drowned nymphomaniac bimbo! That Ranma turned grimly toward him.

"Don't get distracted! She's waiting for us. Find her!" the nympho-cursed Ranma growled before turning back to his quest.

_))"Ranma!"((_

He could hear the tears; almost feel the gulping sobs, as her body shook. On the tapestry of black were a myriad of lights he had taken for stars or perhaps other distant selves. One in particular twinkled and beckoned.

"I'm coming, Akane!" He threw himself toward it.

* * *

"Oh, Ranma! W-why don't you c-c-come back…?" Akane shivered as the cold breeze met her damp clothing. 

Cologne sighed. Life was like that sometimes. The best would go to ashes, preserved only in memory. Ranma, and for that matter Barry's legacy, would live on in the techniques they had taught others. She dreaded trying to take Ranma's body from the girl. It might almost be kinder to kill her, too. She opened her mouth to speak…

Light that was not light, flared, pouring from the pigtailed form's face and body, turning his skin translucent as awareness shouted to all their senses that life, nearly extinct, had returned. Akane clung desperately to the body, arching as it accepted the power pouring in, before it sank back limp against the pool edge. One could read in everyone's posture that they were aware that someone had just joined the party. They were only waiting to see if the guest was who they hoped it would be. Akane, practically pasted against Ranma, was desperately seeking signs of him. She had touched what was uniquely _him_ only once through the astral link to Barry's body. She sought desperately to see if he had come home to her.

"Ranma?" She sought with other eyes and saw the aura firm up and strengthen – felt the breathing deepen as only a martial artist breaths, and her ki sang with a familiar thrill. "Oh, Ranma! Oh, Ranma!" her tears started again, but anyone could see the difference between joy and sorrow.

"_Ai-yi-yi-yi-yah_!" screamed Shampoo, rocketing into the air. "Ranma is back!" No one chastened her for the impromptu fireworks display as she exhausted herself launching ki-arrows skyward, with deafening effect.

For the moment though, Ranma had concern only for the small dark-haired girl who was burrowing into his chest and crying. His arms held a precious treasure he had no plans of letting go of again.

* * *

Barry suddenly gripped Gwen by the arms, toppling her sidewise and staring at her as if at a ghost. 

"Barry?" She was almost in tears. Not again! He'd been acting so strange, so distant, like a stranger. She wanted her friend, her lover back the way he had been before that stupid horse training accident. She blinked. He had felt like he was on autopilot, as he sometimes was if she woke him from a deep sleep, but now he was alert and awake and… his eyes were drinking her in, like a thirsty man a cup of cool water.

Barry blinked. Something about a plain of white and a choice and… an _angel_? A brief vision of a strong, confident boy in a pigtail… or was that a girl?' He was confused about his dream, but not confused about the feminine form he had pinned to the bed beneath him. He gazed into the eyes of his wife and nearly wept. She was so beautiful, everything he had ever wanted or could ever conceive of in his life. He felt as if he hadn't seen her or touched her in months. Well, that was about to change. He drew close and kissed her firmly, long and seductively and with every minute bit of his attention, to let her know how much he loved her. "God, Gwen, I love you!"

"Oh, Barry," she whispered, shaking, as he began to nibble along her jaw and down her neck. Her tears were also of joy and a sense of balance restored.

On a plain of white an angel stood. Wings that were not wings whispered in the realm of its presence and a smile grew fondly on its face. A sweet smile of innocence and knowledge combined. Words were spoken and a mirror shimmered into existence. With a light step, the radiant being was gone.

* * *

"I can't believe it! I can't believe it! After all these months!" Akane celebrated into the neck of Ranma's shirt, making it salty as well as wet.

'Months?' thought the returned martial artist.

"Jeez, Ranchan! You had us all worried we'd never see you again," babbled Ukyo. "It's been demons and fights and extra fiancées like you wouldn't believe while you were gone! When I think of all the times that Barry-san nearly screwed it up…"

'Demons, fights and extra fiancées?' That thought nearly squeaked past his lips.

"Was Barry's wife, Gwen, like Ukyo?" asked Shampoo wearily in almost perfect Japanese. "He said she was very much like her. What did you think of her, Ranma?"

"_I didn't do nothin'!" _Oh, boy! That one squeaked out before he could control his mouth. Akane raised her head from where it had lain.

Three feminine gazes began to show a certain familiar tenseness. Three girls were suddenly remembering their fears and jealous fits about the possibility that Ranma might be getting a little _too_ close to Barry's wife. "_Really_! I… I didn't… '_do it_' with her… or anybody else! I was... just…"

"Ra-a-an-n-MA!" The fact that it came from three throats instead of one was chilling.

"Some things never seem to change," murmured Cologne, shaking her head. Goddess! The boy was dense sometimes! She searched in her robes for her pipe and grinned. More than enough had changed to make life _really _interesting in the months ahead.

Ranma roared by again, his voice switching in mid-syllable between baritone and soprano as he splashed through puddles. "C'mon, guys! I ain't done nothin'! Awww… c'mon-n-n-n…" Behind him sprinted three angry girls shouting questions that offered no possibility of a satisfactory response.

Cologne just hoped Ranma managed to survive till morning.

* * *

Ranma slumped dejectedly on the roof of the Tendo dojo and watched the sun rise. He ignored the wintry feel of the air, letting it raise goose bumps along his smoothly muscled arms. The trees, except for the evergreens, were mostly free of leaves now and the garden was quiet, in the beginning of its winter sleep.

He had been gone one lousy week.

When he left, it had been summer, around the end of the break. When he returned, it was nearly winter, and so much had happened, in that week for him and in the four months for everyone here, that he wasn't sure where he stood.

One. Lousy. _Week_!

He had ended up trading places with the gaijin, Barry Barlowe, a married man in his mid-thirties, disturbingly similar in appearance to his father and, he supposed, himself, if he let himself go to pot in his later years. The gaijin had a son and a wife whom he loved so much that many of the responses had become ingrained, like well-ordered kata. The gaijin was an equestrian, a trainer of, among other things, unruly horses. Ran-ema. At the academy where he worked were many horses and many, _many_ cats.

Ranma had also gotten some interesting training. He had discovered there were things worse than an Amazon glomp. Having an attractive woman running around who believed you were her husband and was enthusiastic about sharing the marriage bed had shown him how seriously _that_ game could be played. If he hadn't started off the week injured and played on her sympathies… Kamisama! Hiroshi and Daisuke would drop over dead if they ever learned of the chance he had and the way he had run from it, and if his mom ever found out… He shivered.

He still had the curse. He discovered that as the three girls chased him across the burnt out field. Cold and hot water pooled there, courtesy of the broken water and steam lines from the battle with Taro, of all people. Ranma splashed in and out of girl-form as Akane, Shampoo and Ukyo threatened at him with mallet, bonbori and spatula. After escaping their ministrations, he'd circled back and dropped into the yard behind the dojo.

Taro, minus some of his clothing, was tied up under a tarp there. Unconscious, bruised and cut, Ranma wondered whom he had crossed. He had overheard the old ghoul say something about his vest and bracers being out of season this time of year, but why tie him up here? He looked like hell! He looked like he should be in the hospital. Someone must have really gone all out on him, which would seem to implicate Barry, as Ranma had been the only martial artist in Taro's class.

He had to admit that Taro could be a bit much. The guy was one of the best martial artist that Ranma had faced to date. Maybe Barry had overreacted. Ranma wished he could somehow see what had happened while he was gone, or could remember even the last two or three days. Heck! He couldn't remember anything of the whole four months! A lifetime… At least Barry had only a week to worry about! Ranma hadn't done anything too significant in that time, at least as far as Barry's life went. Barry's life…

'I love you.' It was the most basic kata of Barry's relationship with his wife. It was easy to say something like that when you didn't mean it, but so intensely special when you did. He wanted more than ever now to say it to… _Akane_. To find some special time or perfect place or… He shook himself. He was being stupid. Barry and Gwen exchanged those pleasantries anywhere. So different from the reserved, modest, proper behavior expected of a Japanese couple. The right time to say it was simply any time alone when she wasn't ready to throw him into orbit. Yeah, _right!_

He rested his head on his hand again and used his ki-vision to sweep the house below. Akane was in her room, lying like she had a board strapped to her spine, arms down at her sides, legs straight. She was obviously still awake and still angry. It was stupid to try to talk to her when she was like this, even dangerous. So why was he standing up and crossing to the edge of the roof, to swing down and reach out to tap the glass?

"Just come in, Ranma!" he heard her say before his knuckle struck once.

The window was open, so he glided over the jam and dropped lightly to the floor. He watched Akane in the dark room, listening to her breath, smelling her fragrance… He fought back tears. How he had dreamed of being with her the way Barry was with his wife.

'I love you,' he thought. He wet his lips, fists clenching nervously.

"Just spit it out, Ranma," her tired voice spoke, "I don't care any more."

Ranma's heart hit the soles of his feet. She didn't _care_? Nothing that she had said could have wounded him more keenly. His determination left him. She didn't care. He opened her door and left.

Akane curled into her pillow and cried. Why couldn't they have a happy ending? Why had it gone this way?

Each thought, 'It's too late!'

Breakfast was a bit crowded. Everyone found some spot to kneel down and have their meal. But with nine people (including Ryu Kumon, for some reason), it was a claustrophobic. He ate quickly despite his mother's glares and headed for the dojo. Being next to Akane at the moment was like sitting next to an iceberg. Also, the weird looks Natsume and Kurumi had been sending his way were getting on his nerves. What did they want? He hadn't a clue. Hell! He'd be lucky if he ever had a clue again!

He paused in the doorway and glanced back over his shoulder. "Is today a school day?"

"Yes, dear," his mother answered. "By the way, how is your leg?"

Ranma shifted uncomfortably. His leg? "Ummm… Fine, I guess. I'll be in the dojo if… anyone wants me." He had inadvertently looked at Akane when he said that and saw the upward tilt of her head, her frown. Not her, certainly. His heart kicked around in his toes as he shuffled his feet, leaving the house by way of the garden shoji.

It was shocking. The garden was the same, yet so… different. Where it had been pretty and peaceful, it was now a warm hug and a welcome, even in the bare chill of early winter. More and more, he was wondering if he had found the right address. Had he accidentally switched with one of those other Ranmas he had seen in his vision? He knelt at the edge of the koi pond and gazed into the waters. He had a brief vision of himself and Ryoga and a stranger working on this. He struggled with the memory, but it was gone before he could clearly focus.

Ranma rose and wandered to the dojo. He walked around behind it, on a whim, and looked in on Taro. From the smell, someone was going to have to clean him up soon. He gazed at Taro on the ki-level and saw the constrictions and refocused energy that clearly showed the old ghoul's work. He didn't see why anyone had bothered to tie him up. He wasn't going to be coming around soon. He thought about undoing the blocks and realized he knew exactly how – that easily. Ranma frowned, he hadn't had to think about it and the implication frightened him.

In the dojo, he feinted and struck, feeling for the precision of a complex but familiar kata. He wasn't doing very well. He smiled though, grimly satisfied. Barry hadn't been able to keep up the physical training! Barry wasn't a martial artist. Ranma worked his muscles, slowly redeveloping the linear strikes and sweeping defensive movements, pleased with his progress, satisfied with his wind and curious over what other new thing would blow his mind.

"Ranma?" He finished the movement and turned toward the door. Kurumi stood there, looking as cute as ever. He grinned. She was nearly as good as the tomboy. He waved her in, wondering if they were challenging Soun again. "Do you remember anything of the last four months?"

Ranma groaned and face-faulted. Jeez! Did everyone know he had been gone? "When did he tell you?" he asked, disgusted.

"Saturday night, right after Papa and Mr. Tendo tried to drug you and Akane and get you hitched at an all-night chapel."

Ranma face-faulted again. "Ah?" he said hoarsely, before frowning. Images flashed across his mind's eye. "They tried to…" He blinked. "Who's 'Papa'?"

"You don't remember anything, do you?" she said tearfully.

"It's not like _I _was here to remember!" he exclaimed, irritated. He expected more tears, but suddenly she smiled.

"Oh, yeah! That's right." She hugged him suddenly, which made his pigtail jerk straight up in terror, because of course, that was right when Akane walked in the dojo. He was dead!

She snorted and began to warm-up at the other end of the room. He had never felt so devastated by such a reaction from her. He almost missed Kurumi say, "I just want you to know, I'm glad you're my big brother."

"_No way!"_ The words burst from his lips into the stillness of the dojo. Kurumi's lips quivered.

"Yes, 'way'," drawled Akane irritated, "If I thought you were making moves on your own sister…" Her hand clenched then relaxed again. "What a pervert." She turned away.

Kurumi's sobs brought Ranma back to himself and away from his own pain. "No, no. I didn't mean it like that! I'd be glad to be your big brother. I just didn't… U-urk!" Kurumi hugged him again, hard. He continued in a hoarse whisper. "When did this all happen?" he asked almost mournfully.

Akane snorted. "Right after the koi pond was fixed, Dad decided to take a stone from the pond back to Mt. Fuji, where he stole it from…"

"Fixed!" Ranma exclaimed. "I knew it was changed, but fixed? What happened to it?"

"Katsunishiki."

"Akari's sumo pig? What was it doing here?"

"Akari was looking for Ryoga," Akane frowned at his peculiar look.

"Why was Ryoga here?" Ranma was getting angry. Why couldn't someone just relieve him of the pain and help him get up to speed? Maybe because, like usual, he wasn't asking for help. "Oh, never mind! Dumb tomboy," he humphed, "Why do I bother?"

He froze as Akane, in a peculiarly lithe movement, used her toe to launch a set of thin cement blocks into the air. He had assumed till then, that they were there for her morning 'kill the blocks, work out the anger' routine. His jaw dropped at what she did.

Five blocks. The uppermost was struck with a variation of the Amiguriken as the blocks separated at the top of their arc. It powdered. The second block from the bottom was struck precisely once and fractured in half, the leftover momentum turning the pieces not more than 180 degrees and at vertical right angles from their original position. The third and fourth blocks were struck almost delicately, yet sections of the block seemed to slice away from one corner and one side. Akane's other toe came up then to catch the falling masonry at waist height, the bottom-most block the foundation for a sort of child's building block house. Then the roof slid, and the blocks hit the floor with a bang as dust from the masonry created a tiny snowstorm about the debris.

"What the hell was that?" he almost squeaked out. Yep! He was in the wrong world! That had all the amateurish exhibitionism of an ice-breaking event combined with an oddly difficult… It was so alien to _his_ Akane that he almost wept.

"Church in the Snow," Akane said abstractedly. "It's supposed to end up looking like a building covered in snow. Barry said that if I started practicing as soon as you came back that, maybe this time, I might beat you at doing something in martial arts before you caught me again."

"Hah!" The 'hah' was not unexpected to Akane. The weakness with which he said it was.

"What's wrong, Ranma?" she scowled at him sitting there, Kurumi now behind him, her hands on his shoulders.

"I think I took the wrong turn at Albuquerque," he said quietly.

"What?" That statement was so unlike Ranma that she was chilled. "Where did that come from?"

"A week of watching cartoons with Brendan." He was staring into space now. "Oh, Kamisama! I'm in the wrong universe. I must be. Oh, Kamisama," he whispered. "Oh, Akane…"

Akane suddenly lost her jealousy and her anger. She heard his pain and remembered how often he had comforted her, rescued her, tried to tell her without words what he felt. It wasn't his fault that someone, somewhere, had shown him a normal life, a normal way to love and that he had fallen for it. Look at Ryoga. He had been a pig, but love made one do stupid things. Look at her.

She knelt down before him and caught Kurumi's eye. "I need some time alone with my fiancé, Kurumi. Do you mind?" The girl nodded, gave Ranma's shoulders a squeeze, and then left quickly.

"First, you're not in the wrong universe. Your astral bodies had exchanged places. The strand that joins the body to your astral projection was growing thin, but if it had broken, you would have died. You could return _only_ to your own universe and Barry could only go back to his." She struggled with herself. "I'm… I'm sorry you had to leave, but you couldn't have stayed much longer. Because your astral projections were in host bodies, it let you live for weeks instead of hours, separate from your body, but your links were getting weak. You…" Tears threatened. Ranma hid his despair desperately, Akane tried to restrain hers. "You were both going to die if we didn't do something soon."

Ranma dully heard the pain in her voice and nodded. In some ways this was worse. It was his home, but so different. He wondered when Barry had found the courage to tell Akane that Ranma was missing. He wondered if it had been prompted by a scene like the one he escaped from. And after three months of living Ranma's life, it must have been awfully tempting to… He wanted to scream as Akane knelt there, immersed in her sorrow, to hold her in his arms and tell her… But instead he muttered, "Life's like that, I suppose. At least, ours has been." Ranma looked away. The pain was too much. 'Dammit, Barry! If only…"

"So much has happened. Barry thought you might have some troubles when you got back," Akane said softly. She saw Ranma's face twist with barely suppressed emotions. She wondered how he'd take his mother's manliness issues, or lack of them. "He made a daily journal…"

"What?" Ranma's eyes snapped back to her.

"A journal. A diary, I suppose."

"Where is it?" His frustration suddenly crystallized into anger: Barry had left a journal behind? What was it, some sort of 'How to seduce Akane' manual? A, 'see how much better a _real _man could do, Ranma'? The only thing he could think of at that instant was to find that piece of paper crap and blow it to hell! "Where is it?"

Akane gulped. His intensity was frightening, even with the confidence her advanced training gave her. "I-I've never s-s-seen it. H-h-he said he kept it 'where your hopes are'."

Ranma froze. Of course that perverted, backstabbing baka would know about that, the place where Ranma kept all of his mementos. He probably hadn't lost any time delving through all of Ranma's fantasies and… With an almost audible snap, he rose to his feet and leaped out of the dojo and up. Akane followed him with ki-vision onto the roof of the house then couldn't contain herself anymore. She leaned forward and put her head on the cool wood of the floor and cried. Her hopes were all but gone.

Ranma quickly found the loose roof tile and lifted it aside. In the space beneath was the sturdy wooden box he kept his secrets in, his _hopes_. He popped the lid and there it was.

They were, actually. One was labeled: _Results of Advanced Studies in Ki Manipulation_. Beneath Ranma recognized the _kanji_ of Ryoga, Akane, Ukyo and Konatsu, followed by unfamiliar _kanji_ that he finally worked out were the signatures of Cologne, Mousse and Shampoo. Under that was sprawling _roman-ji_ script that Ranma guessed was Barry's signature. Beneath that were the _kanji_ of his own name, along with the note: 'In honor and inspiration of a martial artist and a Man.' His mouth twisted. Man? He was a sex-changing freak, and everyone knew it. He held it for long moments, and then laid it aside. The multiple signatures implied there were duplicate copies, and he had no intent of being second to _anyone_ when it came to martial arts.

The other binder was labeled more simply and less formally. It said: _Ranma's Guest_. Guest? His hand trembled as he lifted it. He started to turn a page, then hesitated. Maybe it would be better not to know what was within this book. He glowered at the wire bound notebook and debated simply destroying it. He couldn't do it. There were several reasons. There were four months of interactions and obligations that he was honor-bound to take up. There were memories that he had to access if he wasn't going to simply go before his mother and ask for seppuku. Hell! He had to find out if maybe that was all that was left anyway!

Then there was Akane. He had the feeling that this was all that was left in this world of Barry; and Akane, he believed, had fallen for the man. He might hate what Barry had done to him, but it would it be fair to deprive Akane of the thoughts and notes that were all that existed in her world? It might be all she had to live on the rest of her life. This really belonged as much to her as to him. And there was always the chance that something in there might tell him how to win her back and try to make her happy. Kami! Was he really that lame? Akane's presence in the dojo beat on his ki senses like an arc lamp. If nothing else, he wanted to make Akane happy. He let out a ragged breath.

"Watcha doin'?"

He jerked around to find Kurumi looking at him curiously while munching on something. Damn! He'd have to find a new hiding place for this stuff. "What are ya doin' up here?" he snapped.

"Akane said she needed to talk to you alone, so I left. She didn't say anything about me not coming back when you were done." Kurumi continued to speak around a mouthful of cookie.

"Are ya gonna follow me around?" he asked nervously.

"For a while," she confirmed. "Barry — we thought it was you then — he was okay, but too busy to act like a brother. He suggested I give you a chance."

"Ummm… How do ya know I'm yer brother?" He'd been meaning to ask that.

"Papa… your dad? He admitted it to Momma last week," she frowned, "or was it the week before that? Anyway, he admitted a lot of things and they cried, and she promised she'd skin him alive if he hadn't told her everything, and they cried some more and then Momma… your mom?" Kurumi made certain he knew whom she was talking about. "She said she would like to try to be a mother to us, and then she hugged both of us and we all cried some more."

Ranma gaped. She was serious! Dead serious and his mother had apparently accepted the situation. In a daze he asked, "I've never been a brother. What do I do?"

"I don't know." She scuffed with a toe. "What would you do if I told you Ryu Kumon snuck out with Natsume last night?"

Ranma started to say he didn't care what that hentai, Kumon, did; then stopped, his eyes widening. If Kurumi was his sister, then _Natsume_ was… his sister. If Kumon was… If they were… "_Kumon_!" Face darkening, he moved to leap down from the house to find and throttle the jerk for daring to touch one hair on hissister's head. Kurumi grabbed him with her ribbon and brought him up short.

"Cool," she said as she untangled him. "But, you shoulda asked me if it really happened." She grinned at him possessively. "This is gonna be so much fun!"

Affronted by her giggles, he picked up his box and returned to the dojo. The sight of Akane, curled up on the floor crying, brought him up short. He rushed to her side and pulled her into his arms, cradling her, rocking her, asking what he could do to make it right. For once, he'd done the right thing.

"Oh, Ranma," Akane wept into his collar. "I tried so hard to get you back! It's been so hard! If you don't… If you can't… It's so unfair!"

"Akane, I'm sorry I'm not what ya want me to be," he mumbled miserably. "Here." He fumbled back into the box and dragged out the wire-bound notebooks. "Ya might as well keep this; I guess I can get by without it."

He tried to hand her the journal and dropped some other things in her lap as well. A hank of black hair bound by a ribbon and a piece of duct tape carefully pressed to a sheet of paper and covered by numerous strips of clear tape, a badly made scarf; they fell into her lap as he pressed the notebook to her. Ranma didn't even realize what had happened, until her shaking hands picked up the hair.

"Ummm…" He flushed, trying to think of something to say. The last thing he wanted was to reveal his unwanted love of her, to her when she was like this.

He saw her gently pick up the mementos of his heart. She petted the length of hair. Then giggled faintly, a little wildly even, as she turned the salvaged tape this way and that to see the faint print of lipstick under the protective layer of cellophane. "So you did love me… once?" she asked.

"Once?" He stared into her tear-filled eyes. His control cracked. He hugged her fiercely. "_Once_? Dammit, Akane, I love you! I may be no better than Kuno shoutin' stuff at ya, ya don't wanna hear…" Akane, shocked by the sudden gentle violence and the declaration, held still. She felt a hot wetness strike her arm and realized Ranma was crying himself. Ranma _never _cried in boy-form… that unmanliness thing of his.

"Ranma?"

"Let me finish. From the moment ya said 'ya wanna be friends', I felt ya were special. Even when ya beat the crap outa me because of Shampoo or Ukyo or Ryoga… it didn't matter. But I couldn't tell ya. It'd be giving in ta Pops. It'd be makin' ya marry some dumb-ass jock who isn't a man. But this dumb-ass jock — I've almost lost ya too many times — always wished I coulda told ya." He choked on his tears. Letting years of pressure and torment out, unable to stop now that the floodgates were open. She struggled to see his face and he suddenly relaxed his arms, certain she was disgusted with his immature yammering. His tear-filled blue eyes met her still damp, dark brown ones, set beside that beautiful nose above the half-parted lips…

Akane's tongue moistened her lips. Why was he staring?

With a groan, he pulled her close and did what he had wanted to do the night of the ramen fight. He twisted slightly to bring her head against his shoulder, cupped a hand gently behind her head and drank in the salty taste of her tears as his lips stroked the gentle bud of her mouth. She began to tremble, but he couldn't stop. He felt how her lips gently meshed and rippled against his, almost exploring. The trembling increased and he began to release her, ashamed of his weakness. He didn't expect the flash of movement as her arms whipped up about his neck, forcing their lips back together. He opened his mouth to exclaim in surprise, but all that did was prevent them from mashing their lips against their teeth. As Akane fiercely continued the kiss, she opened her own mouth and gently, timidly sent her tongue questing for his. Things got rather intense for a few minutes.

They broke apart, gasping for air, hearts racing, frightened by the responses they had evoked in the other, that it was somehow all a mistake or a misunderstanding. Akane curled in his lap, hands now grasping his shirtfront as if he might jump up and run away — he _had_ done it before — head below his chin, and panted and cried all over again. Ranma stiff, but arms cradling her protectively, eyes wide with fear and wonder, and praying that this would notbe the last time he kissed this beautiful, wonderful girl.

"Akane?" he whispered.

"Yes, Ranma," she whispered back. Her trembling started again.

"Ummm… Did I… make a mistake?"

"What do you mean?" The trembling stopped, but her tone sent him a signal to exercise extreme caution.

He thought how he should say this. He would only have one chance. Then it hit him (no, not Akane this time). If there was one thing he would be forgiven for saying, it was… "I love you. I always wanted to tell you that." He swallowed. "And at least, even if it never happens again, at least, _finally_, I got to kiss you." He jumped a little as she shifted, bringing herself to look him in the eye.

"Ranma Saotome," she said in a voice that promised pain, "it had _better_ happen again!" Her voice broke at the end and new tears threatened to fall. "I love you, too, you baka! I've studied and trained and searched for months and I thought… I thought you had…" she choked. She couldn't say it, and all he did was act like he had no idea what she meant! "I thought that you had fallen in love with Barry's wife!" she finally grated out. She buried her head back under his chin, growling to herself and flushing at her thoughts.

"She was very nice," he said softly. Akane groaned and tried to pull herself into a ball of pain. She didn't want to hear this. "But she wasn't _you_. Barry was here more than three months, but I was _there_ barely a week. I spent half of that pretending I was too hurt to, uh… do anything romantic and the other half trying to duck her. She almost got me at the end, though." He bit his lip. Why did he always have to just spill everything out like that?

"What?" Akane was looking him in the eyes again, expression hostile. "Why?"

"_Marital _arts," he gulped. She didn't hit him, so he went on. "Barry and Gwen's marriage has become a kata. Things like holding a door open for her or helping with the dishes or simply saying 'I love you' have become automatic. Reflex. I… I thought I had control over them but that last day was Barry's birthday and Gwen (gulp) decided he needed a present…"

"What kind of present?" she asked flatly. He blushed. "I don't think I want to hear this," she said, beginning to withdraw.

He pulled her back down. "It's not like that! The other nights she tried that, I could control myself and figure out how to talk her out of it without hurtin' her too much or lettin' on who and what I was," he said, talking quickly. "I had an idea I was gonna try that weekend that I thought might get me back here. If it didn't work, I figured I was gonna hafta tell her who I was after all. Kamisama! She was worse'n Shampoo, fer cryin' out loud!" Akane let out a disturbed sounding giggle at that remark. "But that night, I didn't _have_ any control! It was worse than when Barry first came here and I'd find myself lookin' outa my own skull watchin' the world go by! I tried to keep her from doin' it and then I simply tried to ignore her while I tried ta use my idea to get outa there." He was sweating at the memory. "It musta worked, 'cause I suddenly was back here."

"You had _no_ control?" she asked, color draining from her face. "You had it before, for a week, but suddenly it was gone?"

"Yeah. Sorry!" he said, dropping his eyes.

"Oh, my poor Ranma!" He looked up at her words, sure she was being sarcastic, but saw only honesty. "When I was doing the work on this end to bring you back, I had to untangle all sorts of knots and loops that had tied your two astral lines together. Afterwards, when we found out Barry had lost _his_ controls again, we realized they let Barry tap into your discretion. I never considered it might work the other way!"

"You mean…" He flinched. _Akane_ had done that to him?

"I'm so _sorry_, Ranma! When you got back and then looked so guilty…" She drove her head back into his shirt, crying, "I'm such a nasty, suspicious _bitch_!"

She was surprised at the force he was willing to use to bring her eyes back up to meet his. "Don't you _ever_ call yourself that again!" he said with such angry intensity that she nodded, cowed. "You… are my baka, un-cute, tomboy…" His lips curled a bit. "…who I love."

"Oh, Ranma!" They held each other a while in silence.

"Ya know? This is right where ya dared me ta kiss you after Mikado nailed me at the ice rink."

"At least this time we don't have the entire family breathing down our necks with a camcorder," Akane answered. By unspoken consent, they both looked quickly around. Then they used their ki-vision and looked outside.

'Oh! I guess sisters can be pretty useful after all,' Ranma thought, nonplused. Kasumi, Natsume and Kurumi were pointedly keeping Soun and Genma away from the dojo. Ranma sighed and switched back to normal vision to look down at the notebooks on the floor. "So what do we do now?" he asked. He caught her eye. "What do _you_ want, Akane?"

"I want us to be a couple. I want us to be able to walk to school without worrying about what anyone says and be able to say 'Yes, that's my fiancé, Ranma Saotome, the man I love'."

Ranma shivered at her words and his chest shook as he gulped in air to still his reaction. "I'd like that… but, what about Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi? What about our parents?" He really wished he hadn't said it, but it needed to be said. They needed a plan.

"You _really_ need to read that journal, Ranma," she said strangely. "But I think almost everyone will be willing to accept a simple 'we will when we're ready'."

"No way!" he said astonished.

Akane laughed, a joyful sound and giggled, "Yes, 'way'!"

Ranma huffed, astonished at the idea that their parents may have finally gotten a clue. Then he smirked and cocked his head. "So… Ya missed me?"

"More than I can ever say," she answered in a small voice that made his heart jump. "Wanna spar? I was beating Barry half of the time before he left."

"Yer that good, huh?" he said, just a little uncertainly.

"C'mon, Ranma, give me a break! Just one little match to see how the new, improved Akane Tendo stands up to the _old_ Ranma Saotome." She gave him a soulful look. "Ple-e-ease?"

"Okay," he gave in gracefully. "Ya ready ta lose?" he asked as she rose to her feet. He ignored her offered hand and bounded up by himself.

She looked at him archly. "You're _really_ gonna want to read that journal," she said cryptically. "Tell you what, if I win this match, you'll audition with me for Nutcracker Suite after school on Friday, okay?"

"Whatever…" he said carelessly. Whatever happened now, he could deal with it. They set themselves… and the new dance began.

* * *

So ends the first arc of Locked Outa Love. Coming soon is Ki Cutters a 40 + chapter sequel that gasp! is almost 100 Ranma and deals with the consequences of Akane and Shampoo's Sisters of Hearts duels and Ranma and Akane's developing relationship. Fights, supernatural threats and complications abound! This next arc also more deeply involves the goddesses, Beldandy, Urd and Skuld, the provisionary god, Keichi Morisato and Our favorite cat-girl-android Nuku Nuku who is far more than window dressing in the coming chapters. See Ya Soon! BTB

* * *


End file.
